Pint Sized
by LeaderPinhead
Summary: A death in a family often leads to the inheritance of material possessions. This normally doesn't include a box full of warring robots from a distant planet. Rated T for language
1. Prologue: The Past

**DISCLAIMER:** I claim no ownership of the Transformers franchise as it belongs to Hasbro. This disclaimer applies to all chapters of this story (just so I don't have to repeat myself again)

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><p>Pint Sized<p>

Prologue

The Past

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><p>"Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, will kick Megatron's ass once and for all!"<p>

A gasp came from inside the little tent made of throw blankets and bed sheets. "You said a bad word!"

A sigh followed the little girl's voice. "Vicky, I'm a big boy! Big boys get to say grown up words."

There was a pause, and the bed sheets fluttered in the wind produced by the ceiling fan. "When will I be big enough to say grown up words?"

"I don't know; girls age slower than boys."

There was the crack of a slap followed by a giggle and an exclamation of pain. The blankets parted, and a small giggling girl ran out from under the tent followed by an angry older boy. "Get back here! You can't hit!"

The giggling child abruptly stopped and spun around to grab the little boy. "Shh! We're in the big gray leader's territory!"

"You mean Megatron?" the boy asked.

"Yeah, Mega-dude," the little girl insisted. The boy forgot their earlier altercation, and they crept together down the hallway. They made it to the stairs and took one stair at a time, pausing whenever the steps creaked. When they reached the bottom of the staircase, they froze. A man lay snoring in the recliner in front of the TV on the far side of the living room and directly in the way of their destination.

"It's Starscream!" the little boy hissed as his sister gasped. "We have to be extra careful not to wake him up."

His sister nodded, and they dropped to the floor and proceeded to army crawl across the carpet, slowly and dramatically passing snoring man. The man snorted, and they both froze until he rolled over and went back to snoring. The boy breathed a sigh of relief, and his sister giggled.

They made it safely across the room and ran down the hallway to the next room. They hid behind the doorjamb and peeked around it into the room beyond. A woman stood at the sink washing dishes while humming a tune, and a black cat lay in a patch of sun that streamed through the window and onto the linoleum floor. The woman remained oblivious to the two pairs of eyes peeking out at her, but the cat cracked an eye open when the two squeaked and ducked back into hiding.

"Drat!" the boy whispered while his sister looked up at him with bright gray eyes. "Soundwave and Ravage are in the way."

"What are we gonna do?" the girl asked in a hushed whisper.

The boy played with his blonde hair, a stark contrast against his sister's ink black hair. Meanwhile, the black cat stood up, stretched, and gracefully walked towards their hiding spot. While her brother thought of a plan, the girl peeked around the corner and gasped when she saw the cat heading towards them. "Ravage is coming!"

The blonde glanced around the corner and almost gasped alongside his sister but managed to keep it from escaping. He was the leader and leaders don't gasp at the face of trouble. "We need back-up."

"Back-up?" his sister asked. "When did we get back-up?"

"We haven't yet," he answered in annoyance. He looked up and down the short hallway they were in and put his fingers to his lips and blew.

The little girl marveled at how her brother was able to produce the high pitched sound and tried to do the same. Her nose scrunched up when all that came out was a spitting raspberry. Before she could ask how he did it, a large yellow Labrador came skidding around the corner at the end of the hallway, almost knocking over a table that was set up to catch junk mail and magazines.

The dog stopped in front of them, panting loudly, and they both braced themselves for the dog's greeting. They weren't disappointed when the big dog covered them in slobber. The boy just giggled while the girl voiced her dislike with squeals.

"Okay, okay!" the boy finally managed to get through his giggles. He shoved the dog's face away and looked back around the doorjamb to see that the cat had frozen halfway between them and their target. The boy's dark grey eyes glared at the cat, and he pointed at it. "Sic 'em, Steeljaw!"

The dog tilted its head and gave a low growl when it saw the cat. The feline hissed and ran out of the backdoor that was located on the other side of the kitchen. The dog gave chase, and its loud barks caught the attention of the woman by the sink. She turned to look in the direction from which the dog had come and the children duck back behind the wall. She placed a finger to her lips and asked out loud, "Now why would Steeljaw suddenly chase Blackie out of the house? I better go see what the problem is."

She abandoned the dishes and walked out into the backyard. The two kids barely waited for the screen door to slam shut before dashing out of hiding. The boy grabbed the back of a kitchen chair and, with the help of his sister, dragged it to the counter. He climbed up onto the chair and reached across the counter to grab one of the three jars that were pushed against the wall. It was too heavy to pick up, so all he could do was slide it closer to him. His sister climbed up onto the chair beside him and waited in anticipation as he took the lid off the jar.

He grinned and pulled out two homemade, chocolate chip cookies still warm from the oven. He gave one of the cookies to his sister, and they took a big bite of their prize.

"Mama would've just given us cookies," the little girl said while reaching for a second cookie. Her arms were too short to reach the jar, so her brother handed one to her while he grabbed his third.

"But we would have had to wait until after supper," her brother argued around the cookie he had shoved into his mouth. The girl shrugged and started eating her treat.

They were reaching into the jar again when they both jumped at a voice that came from behind them. "What are you two doing?"

The children spun around to see a grouchy looking old man standing in the doorway to the kitchen. The boy screamed, which caused the girl to copy him, which ultimately caused the old man to cringe and look even grouchier.

"It's Megatron!" the boy yelled. He jumped off the chair and pulled his sister down with him. "Quick we're not strong enough to take him on alone. We have to find Optimus!"

The little girl tripped on air and fell to the ground, causing her brother to jerk to a stop and almost fall down with her. She laid there dramatically stretched out across the floor. "Go on without me. I'll only slow you down!"

He turned to jerk her up and, in as serious a tone as any child could have, said, "I leave no 'bot behind."

He looped his arms under her armpits and dragged her across the floor as she feigned a broken leg. The old man watched the two slowly progress across the floor and pass him, blinking when the little boy stopped to make the sound of a gun and narrate the fact that "Megatron" had taken damage to the leg and they could escape now. The little girl cheered as her brother continued to drag her through the house.

"Wait a minute," the old man said once he could finally speak again, "are you talking about them robots you watch? Wasn't Megatron a bad guy? Why am I a bad guy?"

The mother of the children came back inside with the cat she had rescued from the dog, and he turned to her. "Why am I a bad guy?"

She giggled and placed the cat back onto its patch of sun where it immediately flopped onto its side to stretch out across the floor. "All the adults are bad guys."

"Oh," he said with a blink. "Can I have a cookie?"

"Sure dad," she said with a laugh and returned to the sink. The old man was sitting down at the table with his cookie when the children ran back through, the little boy making shooting sounds as his two toys flew through the air and the little girl on his tail with the two Barbies she had painted and made armor out of aluminum foil for to look more like the toys her brother played with. Neither of the children looked at the adults as they bolted out the back door. Their mother watched the two from the window as the boy threw a gray toy onto the ground and threw his arms up, and she knew the movement was accompanied by a sound of an "explosion." He high-fived the red and blue toy he still held and began to fly around the backyard with his sister and the dog that had joined them.

She smiled at her kids. Despite the small age difference, the two were inseparable. The little girl idolized her big brother, and the little boy made it a point to include his sister in everything he did. Especially the "missions" he made up, like getting into the cookie jar.

"Those two have to be the most imaginative kids I have ever seen," the grandfather commented as he reached for another cookie. "We should find that kid a new cartoon though. He's starting to believe those Transformers are real. We passed a red semi last week, and he told me Optimus must have been doing recon in the area."

The mother waved him off as she finally finished her sink full of dishes and drained the dirty water from the sink. "He's a little boy. He's allowed to believe in robots that change into cars."

The old man shrugged. "He's your kid. Raise him however you want to."

The mother paused while putting the new cleaned dishes in their proper places. "Well, thank you for allowing me to raise my kids the way I feel like it."

Her father stood with his hands up in surrender. "You're just like your mother, always taking offense. Life will be easier if Victoria doesn't take after either one of you."

The woman stuck her tongue out at him as he left. As soon as he cleared the room, the little boy ran in from the backyard with a panicky look on his face. "Mom, where's Ratchet? Optimus needs him!"

He held up his toy for her to see the disconnected arm. Playing along with him, her eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh no! You better find your doctor quick. Where was the last place you had him?"

Her son thought hard before his eyes brightened, and he shoved his toy into her hand. "I know! He was fixin' Prowl after the Twins made his pro-proce-processor crash!"

He ran out of the room, leaving his mother behind to hold the crippled Optimus. She turned to put him on the counter but paused when she felt a tug on her skirt. Looking down, she saw her five year old daughter looking up at her. "Lemme see!"

The woman hesitated. After all the toy belonged to her son, and despite the closeness of the two siblings, they were still little kids who were possessive over their toys. But her daughter looked so earnest with her big grey eyes that the woman could only sigh and hand over the pieces. "Be careful. It's your brother's, and I would hate for it to break even more."

Tiny hands reached up and grabbed the toy from her hands, and she watched as Victoria delicately held the broken robot. The little girl stared at where the arm should have been and then down at the arm in the opposite hand. She turned around so that the adult couldn't see what she was doing, but the mother knew that she was trying to fix the toy.

Unfortunately, she didn't know if the toy could even be fixed. Her son's prized action figure (he absolutely refused to call it a doll and glared at anyone who did) had been losing its arm more and more, and even the slightest nudge would cause it to fall off. But he refused to get another Optimus Prime, stating that each Optimus may look the same but there was only one true Optimus and that just happened to be the one he had.

She was just thinking of the many ways to replace the doll, the perfect opportunity being the birthday that was coming up, when her daughter gave an exclamation of triumph and spun back around to face her. "I fixed him!"

She blinked when she saw that the toy had in fact been fixed. Taking it from her daughter, she stared at the reconnected arm. "How did you manage to do that?"

The little girl shrugged. "I just put it back in. It hurt a little, but he's okay now."

The mother shook her head and decided not to question it any further. The toy was fixed and that was all that mattered. She handed the toy back to the girl. "Well, here. Go take this to your brother, so he can stop fretting over it."

"What's fretting mean?" the girl asked as she took the toy.

"Worrying," the mother answered and patted her daughter on the head. "You're turning out to be a better doctor than Ratchet."

The little girl's eyes widened. "I can help Ratchet! Eric says that I can't be part of the Autobots if I can't do anything, but now I can. I'll fix the Autobots!"

Her mother watched her run out of the room to find her brother, and shook her head at the child's firm belief that she was now an Autobot medic. If adults could retain the same innocence they had as children.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Here we go, the start of a story in whole new fandom. I know there weren't any Transformer characters in this chapter (save the toys that were mentioned), but they come in next chapter. This was just basically setting up the story. Hopefully, I can have the next chapter up on Monday.

**EDITED: 1/1/14 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	2. The Present

**AN:** Here's chapter one. Hopefully it lives up to the prologue, which more people appeared to like than I originally thought they would. I guess it's a good thing my sister convinced me to post it instead of scrapping it like I had originally planned :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorited.

Since this is their first official appearance, I'll go ahead and say now that the Transformers' appearances in this story are either based off their G1 or Movie appearance, with only one exception being neither (it should be easy to pick out which is which). Personality wise, I use a mish-mash of what I have read on the wiki or in other fanfictions; what I have watched from the movies, TF: Prime, and TF: Animated; or how they are just depicted in general.

Last part before getting on with the show, this story is inspired by ***The-Starhose**'s comics, which can be found on deviantART under that name. I highly recommend them to anyone who has nothing to do and wants a laugh. Her comics are cute and have made me laugh on several occasions.

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><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter One

The Present

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><p><strong>Day 1<strong>

Victoria was ashamed to admit that the first thing that came out of her mouth when she exited her car was, "Who would ever want to live here? It's freezing!"

Then she felt slightly guilty as she looked up at the serene cabin. It was a simple two story cabin, similar to any cabin that anyone could find in the mountains, with a green, two person swing hanging from the ceiling of the front porch. The front of the house was surrounded by plants and shrubbery that had somehow found a way to survive the beginnings of winter, but Victoria had a feeling they wouldn't last long after the first snow fall. Hopefully she wouldn't be here long enough to find out.

"What do you think?"

Her grey eyes left the building to land on the man that came up behind her after climbing out of his truck. From a glance, he didn't look much like a lawyer, and she wouldn't have thought him to be one if she hadn't seen him dressed up in his office two days ago.

"It's…nice," she said after a moment of looking for an appropriate word. He didn't seem to notice her hesitance as he started walking up the porch steps. From the pocket of his jeans, he produced a key that unlocked the door and stood holding it open for her to enter.

The inside had the same feeling as the outside. It was very bright, which didn't surprise her since her brother lived…_had _lived here. He always preferred bright, blinding colors over the dull, neutral ones. Though, he could have picked another color to paint the living room other than the bright orange he had used.

"Wow," the man said in awe when he followed her gaze to the first room on their right. "I knew he liked the bright colors, but that's-"

"That's Eric," Victoria finished for him. That was the only appropriate way to describe her brother—the one who always dreamed of becoming a cartoonist for kid's shows. How he ended up in the capital of Nowhere was a mystery that Victoria would rather not investigate.

"Well," he started after an uncomfortable silence, and the woman could tell the young man wasn't exactly used to this part of his job description. "Maybe we should…check the rest of the house out?"

Victoria shrugged and walked down the bright green hallway with the man trailing behind her. She poked her head in the doorways they passed and discovered a nice kitchen/dining room area, a downstairs bedroom, a bathroom right across the hall, and—although she didn't walk past the staircase— a laundry room at the end of the hallway already equipped with a washer and dryer.

The brunette headed up the stairs next and tried to ignore the sound of the man's heavy boots trailing behind her. Upstairs she found three more rooms. The first was a bedroom that she didn't spend much time looking into. It had obviously been her brother's. From what she had seen before she turned away there was an unmade bed, clothes that were strewn across the room, and sketches of his little cartoon characters hanging from the wall. It looked like he was just out of the house for a while and would return later.

The next room was similar to the first in messiness. This room was painted a sky blue color and was cluttered with artist's tools: sketchbooks that filled almost all three shelves of a bookcase; pens, pencils, markers, and erasers littered the desk and floor underneath it along with papers full of half-finished images; and story boards were lined across the wall.

"So," the lawyer behind her said, dragging out the word. "This is where the magic happens. I always wondered what your brother's little workshop looked like."

Victoria turned to glare at him as she slammed the door shut. "I think I can check the rest of the house out myself."

Understanding that he had stepped on some toes, the man backed up with his hands up in the air. "Sorry, didn't mean for that to slip out." He backed up to the stairs and took two down at a time. Victoria followed at a slower, more graceful pace. "As you read in the will yesterday, everything, including the house, now belongs to you. His assets have already been divided how he wished them to be and will be in their proper places within the week and the messages sent out. Oh, except for this one." The man pulled a white envelope from his jeans pocket and handed it to her. "Figured it would be simpler to give it to you in person. If you have any questions, feel free to call or visit my office."

Victoria took the envelope, and he gave her a final wave before hopping off the porch and making his way to his truck. She barely waited to hear the engine start before shutting and locking the door. She turned to face the inside of the cabin. "What am I going to do with a house?"

**[~]**

If she was asked, Victoria wouldn't be able to answer the question of when her family started to fall apart. It could have very well started even before she was born, when her grandmother died from breast cancer, which was the reason why her grandfather had always lived with them. He said the house he had shared with his deceased wife was far too big and lonely to live in alone.

Her family had definitely become dysfunctional when he passed away. That happened around the time she turned eight, and her brother would have been around thirteen. She vaguely remembered her mother going through a brief period of depression, but her dad had managed to snap her out of it before the depression got too serious.

That was also around the time that Eric, her brother, decided that he wanted to be a cartoonist. Her father wasn't nearly as open-minded about the idea as her mother. The most prominent memories from that time period, which spanned nearly five years, was of an angsty teenage Eric and her father yelling at each other about topics ranging from Eric's career choice to something as mundane as the shows he watched. There was never anything her mother or she could do to break up their fights. All they could do was stand and watch from the sidelines.

And then came the death of her mother. Her mother had become sick, the common cold she assured everyone. Weeks passed and she never got any better. But she was good at hiding it, so no one noticed. No one except Victoria, but Victoria was still young enough to believe whatever her mom told her. If her mom said she was okay, then she was okay. One day she was fine and then the next she was in the hospital. Victoria never fully understood the illness she had. Who cared what had made her sick? Her mother was dying and nothing the doctors did was helping! She remembered skipping three days of school to sit beside her mother's bed with her brother and dad, waiting for the inevitable. And when it happened, things just seemed to get worse.

Not even a week after her mother passed, and her father and brother were arguing again. She used to sit at the top of the staircase with her stuffed zebra and listened to their yelling voices from the living room. At that time, every argument revolved around the same thing: what was Eric going to do at the end of his senior year?

Eric still held on to his dream of becoming a cartoonist, and Victoria thought that was the perfect career for him. She had pictures hanging from her bedroom wall of the _Powerpuff Girls_and _Pokémon_, both of which were her favorite cartoons to watch, and all the pictures were done by her brother. He had even given her his pictures of _his _all-time favorite cartoon—_Transformers._ Pictures of Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Prowl, the Twins, and the Dinobots (especially Swoop, who had been her favorite even though she didn't watch the show) were mixed in with Buttercup and Pikachu. She was her brother's number one fan.

Her dad wasn't even the slightest impressed. He told Eric that he wasn't paying thousands of dollars for his son to go to college and get a degree when the odds of him getting a decent job with that degree were slim to none. Now if Eric wanted to become a doctor or a lawyer—hell even a job as a financial adviser would do—their father wouldn't have a problem paying for the education.

And then somehow their mom would be brought in. Mom would have supported me! Your mother would've wanted you to make something of yourself. She would have never looked down on me. On and on, until it got to the point where Victoria had just wanted to yell at them to _shut up._

Their arguments slowly progressed and grew more heated as Eric's last year in high school drew to a close. No one was backing down and the atmosphere in the house was so intense it nearly suffocated them.

Then one day, Victoria woke up and Eric wasn't there. She could easily remember that the day had been a Saturday because she had run into his room to see what was taking him so long, that the cartoons had already started without him. Except when she opened the door, he wasn't there. All of his personal stuff was gone. His art equipment, the awards he had won from various contests, the _Transformers_ memorabilia that used to cover the room—all of it was gone.

Victoria had never felt so betrayed before. Her big brother, the one and only person she had idolized her whole life, had just _abandoned_ them. He hadn't even said _good-bye_ to her. He hadn't even left her a note.

All the crap that had happened over the past few years finally came crashing down on her. Beginning with her playful grandfather's death, the short time of her mom's depression that affected everyone in the house, her mother's untimely death, Eric and their dad's argument, the bullying at school that she told no one about because they all, including herself, had bigger worries—it just became too much. So she shut it all out. From age thirteen onward, she kept all her emotions behind a reinforced steel wall. She did everything her dad told her to do without argument, not wanting them to start the type of fights that had driven her dad and Eric apart. At school she didn't even attempt to make friends once the petty bullying of middle school passed when they entered high school.

Everything that reminded her of her brother was instantly avoided, ignored, or destroyed. She ripped down all the pictures that he had drawn for her, shredded them into little pieces and threw them away. She avoided the stupid show that he had been obsessed with, even changing the channel years later whenever a commercial for the new live-action movie reboot of the show would come on.

Other than the avoidance of anything that reminded her of her brother, she moved on with her life. She finished high school at the top of her class, went off to college and got a degree in accounting, and now had a safe job with a big company that paid well. Imagine her surprise when after twelve years of not even hearing anything about her brother, she was called up out of the blue to be informed that he had been killed in a random hit and run accident.

**[~]**

"Of all the colors he could choose from, why pink?" Victoria asked herself while throwing her suitcase on the guest bed. Whatever had possessed her brother to paint the walls of the house all different colors had led him to paint the guestroom a headache inducing neon pink. Painting the walls into a neutral color went to the top of her mental to do list as she highly doubted that anyone in their right mind would buy a multi-colored house.

There was no way Victoria could keep or wanted to keep the cabin. One, it was too far away from work as in two _states_ too far away. Two, why would she even need a house? She had a cozy little apartment back in the city with a cute neighbor that liked to poke in every once in a while…when he wasn't banging his latest catch. Three, it was her brother's. She didn't want anything of his. It might have sounded petty since he had just died, but that's how she felt.

That led to the reason why she was taking a whole month off from work to go through her brother's stuff and decide what to sell and what to keep. She had already decided that the cabin would go, and had even started talking to one of the local realtors. Now she had to go through the vast majority of his junk, which hopefully she could get started on as soon as she brought all of her stuff in.

Victoria only had two more bags, a small bag of personal hygiene products and her laptop bag, both of which she brought in at the same time with her last visit to the car. She wasn't in much of a mood to unpack, so she began to make her way through the belongings of the house. First she started with the living room, only glancing around to get an idea of what was to be sold. Either her brother had been making a good amount of money or he splurged a lot. There was a 59" wide screen plasma TV, a Blu-ray player, a PlayStation 3 _and_ Xbox 360, an entire case full of Blu-ray discs and video games, all of which looked like sci-fi, fantasy, or animated stuff, and another case of…

"You've got to be kidding me," Victoria said to herself when she realized what the case held. Beside the movies was a glass case of figurines that any nerd would be envious of. Limited edition Star Wars, characters from video games, and robots, one of which she was immediately able to label as Optimus Prime. The others were unknown to her, but didn't look like any of the Transformers she vaguely remembered. "Well, now I know he was a definite bachelor."

She moved over to open the case and picked up the red and blue robot. Upon closer inspection she realized that it was the same toy that Eric used to play with all the time when they were kids. The scuff marks and sections of missing paint gave it away. "I can't believe he held onto you."

Victoria carefully replaced the toy and moved out of the living room. She continued through the house, peeking into rooms and making a quick mental list of what she saw at a glance before moving on. She completely avoided Eric's bedroom and what she assumed had been his personal office, and soon she found herself staring at the ceiling where the entrance to the attic was located.

"Do I even want to look?" the young woman asked herself, moving a strand of black hair away from her grey eyes. She looked back down the hallway to the only two rooms left for inspection. With a shrug, she jumped up to catch the string dangling from the ceiling. The door dropped a lot easier than she had anticipated, and she squealed when the ladder to the attic almost landed on her head.

"Jesus Christ!" she exclaimed as she placed a hand over her accelerated heart. "What did he do, oil the hinges to knock out whatever burglar decided to go into his attic?" She paused. "Never mind; that sounds just like Eric. Booby traps everywhere."

With this new state of mind, Victoria entered the attic more cautiously than before. The room was a lot smaller than she had anticipated. Instead of spanning the length of the top floor, like she thought it would, it was only the size of an average room. Miscellaneous junk, like a weight machine and treadmill that she had no idea of how he got up there to begin with, was scattered across the room along with a good number of boxes of all sizes. She grabbed the closest two to her and shoved them down the ladder without even thinking.

"I wonder if there was glass in there," Victoria said as the boxes thudded to the floor below her. She trekked back down the ladder and pulled the tape off of the first box to see if anything had been damaged. A feeling of déjà vu washed over her when she pulled out a black and white robot. She twisted the arms and legs around, poked at the faded red chevron on its forehead, and messed with the other various parts of the toy to try and get it to turn into a car. "I see now why I rarely saw any of you as a car."

The brunette rummaged through the other toys in the box, pulling out a yellow one and a red and white one, both of which were vaguely familiar, but she was unable to name them. Her digging finally yielded a toy that was neither a robot nor a car.

"Swoop!" she said in excitement before frowning as she realized her excitement was over a toy she hadn't played with in years. "I mean, I remember you from when I was a kid."

Victoria placed him gently back in the box, remembering how fragile the toy was, and closed the lid once she established that none of the Transformers toys had been broken. Shoving the box to the side, she reached for the second one to inspect its contents. After seeing her brother's house and the box of Autobots, she wasn't even surprised to find that the second box contained all the bad guys from Eric's childhood collection.

"You had a funny voice," she reminisced while pulling out a red, blue, and white robot with wings. "Eric would always make his voice high-pitched and scratchy when he played with you."

Victoria frowned as unwanted memories surfaced and dropped the toy back into the box before shoving both boxes into a corner at the end of the hallway. "I'm pretty sure I can sell you guys on eBay and make some nerd happy. There's been a good market for old toys lately."

Without a second glance, she climbed back up the ladder to check out what else she could find in the attic.

**[~]**

After five hours of hunting through boxes with only the occasional pause to figure out what something was, Victoria finally called it a night around midnight. The only thing on her mind as she trudged down the ladder was the queen sized bed in the guest room that she had claimed as hers. She wasn't even concerned with the fact that she had skipped dinner or that she hadn't made so much as a dent in the attic.

Victoria had just collapsed face first into a pillow when a clatter of pots and pans came from the kitchen down the hall. She groaned into the pillow while debating whether or not to investigate. On one hand she could barely move and sleep was just a blink away. On the other hand there was the chance that a mass murderer had broken into the cabin and would stab her to death as soon as she fell asleep. But on the other, other hand she just didn't feel like getting up. On the fourth hand (jeez, when did she grow so many hands?) her laptop was sitting on the kitchen table.

And that was the deciding factor. Victoria had way too much crap saved onto the compact computer and not any way to replace that data. That data was how she made a living. So, much to her dislike, she pulled herself away from the comfy bed and entered the hallway. She stopped at a closet halfway between the bedroom and kitchen and grabbed a bat she had seen in there earlier.

Armed with her metal baseball bat, the woman cautiously peeked around the corner to see…nothing. There was no one in the kitchen, and she would have thought that she had imagined the whole thing if she hadn't happened to look down and see the pots that had made the noise and the open cabinet they had tumbled out of. With the bat swinging freely in her right hand, Victoria walked over to them and crouched down to pick them up.

And that's when her life took a sharp turn into the abnormal.

Just as Victoria crouched down in front of the open cabinet, something shot out of it and hit her directly in the forehead.

"What the hell!" she exclaimed as pain like a bee sting emanated from the spot on her forehead. She lost her balance and fell back onto her rear as she grabbed the spot.

Something else, this time a lot bigger, shot out from the cabinet. "You'll never take me alive!"

Her eyes widened and the pain was forgotten as she watched a miniature purple and black jet fly around her head. A yellow blur flew from the top of the table that was centered in the kitchen, landing on top of the jet and clinging to it as it emitted a shriek and twisted and dived in an attempt to fling off its new passenger. "Get off me Auto-scum!"

"Not a chance Decepti-creep!" the yellow being yelled back. The jet managed to flip over and dislodge the hitchhiker before suddenly winking out of existence. The yellow thing tumbled through the air with a grunt, and Victoria allowed her instincts to take over for the first time in years. She reached out and caught it.

The little being shuffled around in her cupped hands without even realizing that it was being held by someone ten times bigger than it. "I almost had him! My jet judo just needs a little more practice…"

He trailed off as laughter came from the top of the kitchen table he had leaped from. The thing in her hand stopped his monologue and looked up at the sound of the laughter. "What are you laughing about? All you did was stand by and let the 'Con get away!"

"That was just," the voice gasped between laughter. "That was just too funny! You were flying everywhere!"

The laughter continued as the tiny creature growled and moved towards its companion. Victoria nearly had to close her fingers around it to keep it from walking off the end of her hand. That is when it seemed to realize that it was being held and turned to glare up at what was holding it with dark indigo eyes. "Great, not only did Wheeljack blast us to Primus knows where, but he also shrunk us!"

Looking down at the disgruntled face, Victoria's eyes widened as she finally realized what was in her hand. She choked in shock and nearly dropped him, but he managed to grab onto her fingers. "Hey, watch it!"

"I'm losing my mind," Victoria said to herself as she stood up to see the black and red toy still doubled over in laughter on top of the table. "I haven't even been here for a day and I already have cabin fever."

The tiny robot jumped off her wobbling hand to land neatly beside his brother. "Hey Sides, the native's broken."

"Slag," the one named Sides replied when his laughter finally calmed down. "Prowl's gonna be all over us. Why'd you go and break it?"

"We can blame it on the jet."

"Good plan. Now who's gonna tell him?"

While the two plotted their way out of trouble, Victoria stood in front of them trying her hardest to figure out what was going on. "Okay, okay, there has to be a logical explanation for all of this." She paused to watch the two robots play a game of what appeared to be rock, paper, scissors only with different hand movements. "Oh who the hell am I kidding? They're talking toys, there's nothing logical about this at all! How does a box of toys-" She cut herself off as something dawned on her. "Oh no!"

The two on the table watched the giant native run out of the room as if a whole pack of Scraplets were on its tail. "Where's it going?"

"I don't know, but it looked to be in a big hurry."

"Whatever, I don't really care. You lost so you get to tell Prowl."

"You cheated!"

Victoria could still hear them bicker as she ran past the living room, only to come to a dead stop and slowly backtrack until she stood staring into the living room. She stared wide-eyed as she slowly walked towards the open case that was missing one specific figurine. "Where's Optimus?"

"That's a very good question."

She shrieked at the sudden voice and spun around to find its owner. After not finding anyone of her height, she finally thought to look down and found the disgruntled speaker standing on the coffee table, his white arms crossed over the glass paneling of his chest. Two others stood beside him, a robot with half of its face hidden beneath a grey mask and two brightly lit fins on either side of his head, and the other was the critical looking black and white painted robot with the red crest on his forehead that she had picked out of the box earlier that night. Although she acknowledged the two's presence, her main focus remained on the red and white impatient one that had spoken.

"It's so big," the one with fins said in awe as the fins lighted up with his speech.

The black and white one let out a sigh as the main speaker of the three turned his glare to the one that had just spoken. "Now is not the time to ogle Wheeljack."

"But-"

"Wheeljack!"

"Fine," the second one conceded, the tone of his voice suggesting that if she could see his face, he would be pouting.

Victoria fell to her knees in front of them, startling the three's attention back to her. The one scolding Wheeljack looked at her with a frown. "Are you alright?"

"I don't think so," she answered truthfully as black dots began to play across her vision while she tried to focus on the three. "I'm losing my mind. All of my brother's old toys are coming to life."

"Toys?" the black and white robot, who had been silent up until this point, questioned. "We are not _toys._ We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

"Autobots!" Wheeljack piped in helpfully.

Victoria blinked as she felt her mind slowly shut down. "Excuse me for a minute. I think I'm about to faint."

Without another sound, her vision went black, and she fell over onto her side.

**[~]**

"Wow," Wheeljack said as he watched the organic's eyes roll up into its head and fall over. "I've never seen someone go down like that since Prowl! Fascinating…"

Prowl shot the inventor a glare before jumping on to the floor next to Ratchet, who had jumped down before the organic had even reached the ground. "What is its status?"

Ratchet frowned as he peeled back an eyelid. "As far as I can tell, its mental processors have probably crashed." He took a step back and placed a thoughtful servo to his lips. "How to reboot it is a better question to ask. I have never had any experience with this kind of species."

Leaving the medic to his thoughts, Prowl turned around to face the inventor, who looked down from where he stood above them. "Now, how did you manage to do this?"

Wheeljack's fins lit up a bright light blue. "Why do you just assume this was my fault?"

"There was a big explosion before we were knocked out."

"We were in the middle of a battle field. That big explosion could have come from anything!"

Prowl leveled his optics to deliver a severe stare at the inventor. "I saw the Twins running around with a bomb with _your_ name on it."

Wheeljack paused and shuffled around on the table. "I have got to stop signing those."

Prowl continued to pin Wheeljack down with his glare before turning back to Ratchet, who was still staring at a loss of what to do with his new overgrown patient. "We will discuss this later. Right now, we need to get to a safer location and try to locate more Autobots."

"If there are any," Wheeljack said back to him, completely over the glare that had been targeted towards him a mere nano-klik before. "We may be the only ones who were caught up in the explosion. Or we could be dead**_—_**that's a theory too. Is this the afterlife? I never imagined being this small after offlining."

Prowl chose to ignore the scientist and moved closer to Ratchet, who had been snapped out of his daze and was now inspecting a hole the size of one of their fists that leaked a red liquid-like substance from the native's forehead. "Ratchet—"

"Go on without me," Ratchet said with a distracted wave as he applied pressure to the area around the wound. More of the mysterious red substance leaked out, but it was quickly wiped up by a rag Ratchet retrieved from his subspace. "She knew Optimus, so he must be here somewhere. Unfortunately, I can't just leave her here like this, so I will remain here until she regains consciousness."

Prowl opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. The last thing he wanted was to get Ratchet angry because of his insistence to seek a less open area. Even _he_ wasn't brave enough to face, as the Twins dubbed the medic's angry side, the Hatchet. Turning away from the medic, who had begun to patch up the small hole, Prowl looked up to where Wheeljack was either conversing with himself or still continuing the conversation he was having with Prowl. To be honest, both of the possibilities were highly plausible. "Wheeljack, let's move out."

"Alright," the inventor said cheerfully and hopped down to stand beside him. "Let's go exploring!"

"You are much too happy to be in an unknown place," Prowl commented as they moved away from Ratchet. He threw one last glance over his shoulder as he and Wheeljack moved behind what appeared to be a piece of furniture only fifty times bigger than them. Prowl surmised that Ratchet had an eighty nine percent chance of fighting off whatever dared to come his way. Ninety nine percent if he was enraged.

"But that's what makes it so exciting!" Wheeljack tried to explain as his vocal fins lit up. "All the new things we can encounter and learn; the new places we can discover; the people we can meet! It just makes me giddy!"

Prowl paused to turn back and stare at him. "Did you damage something in the explosion?"

Wheeljack paused beside him to think. "According to my self-analysis, no. Why?"

The Praxian stared at him with blank dark blue optics before turning away. "No reason. Let's just find someone before something bad happens."

Wheeljack's fins lit up an impressive bright blue as he followed after the Autobot second in command. The sooner they found everyone and regained their equilibrium, the sooner he could really get to exploring this new, strange and fascinating world that he had inadvertently blown them into.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I don't know about anyone else, but this is honestly the response I would have to toys that came to life. It would not be cool to think I had lost my mind and was seeing talking dolls…I mean _action figures._ **Day 1** continues in the next chapter, which will be posted next Monday, my 'official' day of updating. Until then, leave a review of your opinion on how the chapter was.

**EDITED: 1/2/14 (Grammar, some sentence structure, and attempted to fix the repetition of "she")**


	3. Autobots

Pint Sized

Chapter Two

Autobots

* * *

><p><strong>Day 1 (Cont.)<strong>

Optimus was not in the best of situations at the moment. Well actually, he was doing pretty well considering the fact that it was three against one. Wait, should he count the Cassettes too? Because in that case it would be five against one…scrap.

The masked leader of the Autobots sighed as another beam of energy singed his hiding spot. As if the day couldn't get any worse. First he came out of stasis to find himself caged within a glass prison, albeit he was able to escape from it just by pushing on the glass and jumping out. But in the process his arm had fallen off. _It just_ _fell off!_ Apparently, he had taken more damage in the last battle than he thought he had.

After staring at his arm, Optimus had picked it up and started mapping out the new world he had awoken in. He had left the room and entered a huge hallway, which he walked down until he found another room. He had just entered when he was fired upon from behind. Without wasting any time, he had ducked behind the first available source of protection, which had turned out to be less protective than he had originally thought when the first blast burned straight through the fabric. At least they couldn't see him.

"This is a waste of time!" he heard one of the Cassettes yell after a volley of unsuccessful fire. "We don't even know if we're hitting him! You fail as a leader Starscream!"

"Keep your infernal mouth shut!" Starscream yelled right back. "Until we find Megatron, _I'm_ the leader. So deal with it!"

"I think Soundwave would make a better leader," the other Cassette twin jumped in. "He's ten times better than you, you traitorous retro-rat!"

There was a pause, and Optimus could only assume that the Decepticons were staring each other down. "What did you call me?"

"Traitorous retro-rat," the twin repeated with a sense of pride. "You know, for all the times you plot Megatron's demise. You can't even get that right!"

There was the sound of scuffling and snickering. "That's it! Soundwave find some new Cassettes because these won't be around for much longer!"

"What you gonna do, you seeker femme?"

Starscream let loose one of his famous scratchy, high-pitched screams as more scuffling ensued. Optimus risked a peek out from behind his barrier to see Starscream rolling around on the ground with the red and blue twins, one on his back and the other beneath him. Thundercracker stood behind them and seemed to refuse to acknowledge the fact that his second in command and trine leader was rolling around on the floor with two Cassettes. Soundwave stood as emotionless as ever even as he reached down and grabbed his trouble starting cassettes. "Desist."

"Oh, come on, boss!" Rumble whined while wiggling in the bigger Decepticon's grip. "We almost had him! No one wants Starscream around anyway. We'd be doing the Decepticons a favor."

Starscream squawked from where Thundercracker was helping him stand. Soundwave turned his red optic band to the red twin and even Frenzy stopped his wiggling. "_Desist._"

"Okay, okay!" Rumble conceded with a wave of his hands. "We'll stop."

Soundwave nodded and dropped the two to the ground, where they both obediently stood in front of him. Optimus couldn't help but think that Soundwave could have been a very successful creator. If he wasn't an emotionless Decepticon and all.

"Now that that's over," Thundercracker said as he watched Starscream flick imaginary dust of his armor, "can we focus back on the defenseless _Autobot leader_ we have cornered?"

Starscream paused to stare at him. "Who?"

The blue seeker slapped his forehead with a servo. "Optimus Prime. Over there underneath the huge berth."

Ah, so that's what he had ducked under. Then what was the huge cloth that was hiding him? Berths didn't usually sport any protective covers.

"Oh yeah," Starscream suddenly shrieked and turned back to the bed. "I completely forgot about him!"

"See!" Frenzy exclaimed while pointing a blue servo at the jet. "You'd make a horrible leader!"

"Why you!"

"Starscream-"

"What'cha gonna do now Screamer!"

"Desist."

Optimus watched Starscream raise his pistol at the annoying twins when it was suddenly shot from his hand. The group of Decepticons looked behind them to see nobody. "What the-"

Another shot was fired, followed by another, and the Decepticons had to dance out of the way of both.

"What's going on?" Thundercracker asked as more shots were fired their way.

Starscream shrieked as one almost managed to hit his arm. "I don't know, but in the words of Megatron, retreat!"

The cassettes folded down and returned to their place in Soundwave's chest just as he was shrinking down into his stereo alt-mode. Thundercracker managed to grab him as he transformed into a blue jet and chased after Starscream, who hadn't even bothered to wait for them as he raced out of the room.

Once the Decepticons were gone, Optimus stepped out of his hiding place and headed towards the empty spot they had just occupied. "Nice work Mirage."

The blue aristocrat fizzled back into existence as he deactivated his cloaking device, and to Optimus' surprise, Bluestreak appeared along with him. The younger Autobot gave him a happy wave as Mirage acknowledged the leader's praise with a nod. "Thank you."

"Hey! Wha' 'bout me? Raj an' Blue weren't the only ones shootin'."

Optimus transferred his attention from the first two mechs to the black and white mech who appeared around the corner of the huge door. The mech's teasing grin fell when he caught sight of Optimus. "Whoa, O.P. ya do know that your arm aint attached, right?"

The blue and red leader stared at his third in command. "No Jazz, I did not know. However, I thought it was slightly strange that that arm was not moving."

Jazz grinned back at his leader's rare show of sarcasm. "See? What'd ya do without the Jazzman ta tell ya your parts weren't attached?"

Optimus' serious optics suddenly shined with humor as he walked over to stand beside his friend. "I think I would be completely lost without you Jazz."

Jazz returned his humor with a grin before getting down to business. "Dat makes four." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder to where Mirage and Bluestreak stood. "When Ah came outta stasis, only Raj an' Blue were with me. Haven't seen anybody else."

Optimus nodded and repositioned the dislocated arm he held in his hand. "Our top priority is to find our other companions."

"Especially Ratchet," Bluestreak piped in. "Because a dislocated arm looks painful. Not that I would know. I've had tons of injuries_—_like missing fingers, and singed door-wings, and oh yeah! There was this one time when I got my pede run over when I was really little. That took _forever _to get repaired. But none of them have ever been a missing arm, which must suck now that I think about it. I mean, what if you need to do two things at once but you can't because you only have one arm? You'd have to ask someone else to help. But what if everyone else was busy and couldn't help? Oh yeah, that would really suck. We gotta find Ratchet quick!" The other three watched as the younger mech went quickly, yet cautiously, down the huge hallway.

"I admire his youth," Optimus said when he moved to follow Bluestreak.

"Ah don't get where the kid gets it," Jazz joined in as he followed behind him, with Mirage taking the rear. "He definitely don't get it from Prowl!"

"Maybe he gets it from the Twins," Mirage said, remembering the multiple times he had seen the three together.

"That's pro'bly it."

Bluestreak turned around from where he stood further down the hallway waiting for them. "Hey you guys, hurry up! The coast is clear, but there's no telling how long that will last. We don't even know which Decepticons are here. Well, we _do_ know that there's Starscream, Thundercracker, and Soundwave, and wherever Soundwave is, his cassettes aren't far behind. Hey! I wonder if Blaster's here. That would be cool. I wonder who is here. Let's see, I'm pretty sure Prowl's here-"

"We just got told off by one o' the youngest Autobots on the team," Jazz joked with a grin as Bluestreak continued his common babble.

"We are simply getting old Jazz," Optimus said.

Jazz faked a gasp. "The Jazzman will never get old!"

Optimus and Mirage chuckled at the TIC's dramatics, and all three of them hurried to catch up with their younger companion, who was still naming off the most likely mechs to be there with them.

**[~]**

Victoria felt like crap. Wait, what does crap feel like? Who even invented the saying "I feel like crap"? How do they know what crap feels like?

"_I hate random thoughts when you wake up,"_ Victoria thought as the endless list of random questions continued. What she hated even more was the fact that the bed she was laying on was the worst bed she had ever slept in. You'd think with all the electronics and toys her Eric had, he would have spent some of that money to buy a comfier bed and not one that felt like the floor.

Wait a minute…

The events before her fainting suddenly came back so quickly that it gave her a head rush. Being shot in the head, witnessing 'jet judo' (whatever the hell that was), meeting the little Transformers, finding Optimus Prime missing—it all seemed like a dream someone would have after watching too much of the show.

"_Please let it be a dream,"_ Victoria pleaded as she slowly cracked open the eye that wasn't squished into the carpet. She tightly closed it again when she saw the impatient red and white robot staring at her. "_Maybe if I don't move he'll think I'm still asleep."_

"Come on, I'm not stupid. I saw your optic open."

She hesitated for an instant before her curiosity got the better of her, and she reopened the eye. "What's an optic?"

The robot frowned back. "How can you not even know what your own optic is?"

"I don't have optics."

"Well obviously you do. It's staring right at me!"

Her eye blinked. "Are you talking about my eyeball?"

The little Transformer sighed and rubbed the grey crest that was on his forehead. "I don't have time to argue with you, and now I know for certain that you have recovered from your processor crash."

He walked around her head as Victoria tried to wrap her mind around what he had just said. She simply chose to ignore the fact that she was currently having a conversation with a _toy_. Everything would have its chance to be analyzed in due time. "Processor crash? Wait, you stayed here to make sure I was okay?"

The little robot sighed again. "Of course I did. What kind of medic would I be if I just left you here and you died?"

"Medic?" Her eyes widened, and she sat up to point at him. "Ratchet!"

Ratchet jumped before falling into a defensive position and staring up at her with suspicious eyes. "How do you know my designation?"

The young woman paused when she realized that her sudden epiphany, which was supposed to stay inside her head, had been said out loud. "Uh, lucky guess?"

The medic relaxed enough to take a scolding position, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl in place. "I deal with the Twins on a daily basis. Their lies are far more superior to yours, and I still see through them. Now, would you like to answer that question again or stick with your original answer? Because I'll get to the truth eventually, and _no_ _one _is a fan of how I accomplish that."

Victoria felt like a little child who had been scolded for lying about breaking a vase. Ratchet may have been small, but he still held an aura of a being far older than she was. Quite frankly, he intimidated her. "I highly doubt you would believe me even if I told you the truth."

"Try me."

Unfortunately, Victoria never got the chance as they were fired upon from above. Victoria threw her arms to protect her head and face while Ratchet expertly ducked under the table, a gun appearing in his hand from thin air. There was mad cackling as the same black jet that had fired on her earlier that night flew above her head. "Feel my wrath Auto-scum!"

"Just what we needed," Ratchet sighed while watching the jet swing back around for another attack. "Of all the Decepticons to attack, we had to get one of the truly insane ones."

"I heard that!"

Victoria ducked behind the couch as the jet focused its attention on the coffee table. "I'm getting fired on in my house. How is this fair?"

"You'll learn that life aint fair kid."

She jumped and looked down to where the sudden voice had come from. "Oh no, not another one."

The red robot momentarily turned his attention to the girl beside him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I would have liked to think that I was still a little sane," Victoria moaned as she let her head fall into her hands. The new mech stared at her as he tried to figure out what she was talking about but shrugged when he drew a blank and returned his attention to the crazy jet flying around in circles above Ratchet's hiding place.

Victoria lifted her head when she caught a glimpse of yellow out of the corner of her eye and stared at the first two robots she had seen that night scaling the back of the couch. The red one, Sides if she remembered correctly, lost his grip on the slippery leather and slid down until she reached her hand over to stop him. He stood up in her hand and gave her a smile and thumbs up. "Thanks. Now could you just put me on the top?"

The brunette blankly stared before shrugging. "Sure, why not? Not like it's the weirdest thing I've ever done."

She moved onto her knees and placed him beside his crouched brother, who glared at him. "Cheater."

"You cheated first."

Victoria ignored them and crouched back down beside the other red robot, which was waiting for the jet to stop its erratic circling. "Okay, I'm completely over all of this now. When is this dream going to end?"

"Dream?" the mech asked, turning to her and leaving the jet to the Twins on top of the couch as one of them had already gained its attention with insults. "This aint a dream kid."

"Of course it is," Victoria insisted. "Toys don't come to life and bring their wars into people's houses. I'd blame this on some kind of food poisoning, but I haven't eaten anything all day."

"This aint a dream," the robot repeated. "And I aint a toy!"

"Yes you are!" she shrieked, her voice cracking near the end. The loud yellow Transformer on top of the couch stopped his insults long enough to glare down at the two before turning back to the jet that had begun to yell insults back. "You're all toys! Toys that I found just a few hours ago in a box that looked like it hadn't been touched in years!"

"In my experience, toys don't inflict pain!" the one beside her said before his attention was diverted in front of them where the open space of the hallway was. "But hypothetically speaking, if we were a box of toys, did you happen to catch how many Decepticons were in that box?"

Victoria didn't bother to look down at him as her head fell back into her hands. Her response was muffled but still audible. "They had their own box, and I didn't even bother to look past the first toy."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Ack!" the jet yelled as the yellow robot grew tired of the insult throwing and shot at him. His wing sparked where the beam had singed the edge of it. The brothers gave each other high fives as the jet continued to spiral out of control. "Just wait until next time!"

With a small cracking noise, the jet was gone, and the brothers continued to loudly celebrate. Ratchet came out from beneath the table to sigh at the two. "Terrific, you two are here."

The raucous pair jumped off the back of the couch and onto the arm before jumping down to the floor to meet their companions. "Oh no, it's the Hatchet!" Sides exclaimed as his brother snickered beside him. A wrench appeared in the medic's hand, and the two ducked behind the couch. "I mean, Ratchet, I'm so happy to see you!"

"That's what I thought you said," Ratchet said as his wrench vanished back to where it had come from. The brothers ducked behind the human as Ratchet made his way towards them. "Ironhide, you made it here in one piece."

The older red 'bot nodded, though he still stared at the hallway as if he was waiting for something to fly out and start shooting. With the way the night had been going, it wouldn't be surprising if that did happen. Ratchet followed his gaze before turning back to the human in denial. "What's wrong with you now?"

"Says she's dreaming," Ironhide supplied when she made no move to answer.

The younger two traded a look before innocently looking in different directions. Ratchet caught the movement and glared at the duo. "What did you two do?"

"Nothing," they answered simultaneously, avoiding looking Ratchet straight in the optic. Ratchet kept his glare on them until they began to nervously shuffle around, and Sides finally cracked. "It was Skywarp's fault. He's the one that shot it in the head!"

"Slagging 'Cons," Ironhide voiced with obvious distaste. "Leave it to them to fire on the first thing they meet."

"Can we move on?" the last unnamed robot asked impatiently. "It got shot and has now lost its mind. Boo hoo—we have better things to do than cry over it."

Victoria lifted her head long enough to glare at him before allowing it to drop back into her hands. Ironhide shook his head at the youngster's impatience, while Sides stared at him as if he had lost his mind. Seeing as how Ratchet was currently glaring his way, losing his mind was the least of his worries. "Sunstreaker-"

Sunstreaker was saved from whatever lecture Ratchet was prepared to give him as the sound of sirens suddenly filled the air. Victoria came out of her denial long enough to peek around the couch to see the dark window across the room. "What would the cops be doing up here?"

"I don't think those are 'cops,'" Sides said, stumbling over the word she used.

"Maybe its Prowl," Ironhide suggested as Prowl's alt-mode had sirens.

"I hope not," Sunstreaker said, and his brother nodded along with him.

"How long do you think you can escape punishment?" Ratchet asked as the sirens came closer. "Prowl already knows you two were involved in this."

"How did he find out so quickly?" Sides asked in disbelief.

"He was standing right next to you when the bomb went off!"

Sunstreaker and Sides stared at each other. "Did you see Prowl there?"

"No."

"This isn't good," Sides concluded. "We're losing our touch. We can't even keep track of Prowl anymore!"

"Do you think we should run now?"

"Wait until he clears the corner first. While he's busy shifting forms, _then_ we run. That way it'll take longer for him to catch up."

With a plan agreed on, the Twins tensely stared out into the hallway as the older Transformers just shook their heads. The sirens closed in on them, and everyone was staring at the hallway when a tiny car swung around the left corner and screeched to a halt in front of them. It sat there and appeared to be staring them down as the siren lights shut off. The stare down lasted until Victoria opened her mouth to break the silence. "Your friend's not much of a talker, is he?"

As if waiting for an unplanned cue, the tiny vehicle began to fall apart and its various pieces shifted around to accommodate the new form it was taking. Instead of walking over to greet him, like Victoria thought they would, the Autobots beside her tensed and reached for their weapons.

"That's not Prowl," Sunstreaker said with certainty as the new transformer finished his transformation.

"That didn't even look like a toy," Victoria said to herself while eyeing the black and white robot. Something even smaller popped out of its chest and sprinted across the short distance between them at an amazingly fast pace.

The small black cat was quick enough to run across the distance before anyone could respond and attacked the first thing it came across, which just happened to be Victoria. It performed an impressive running leap, and she flinched as its claws dug into the top of her knee. "Ow! No matter what species they happen to be, all cats' claws hurt like hell."

She grabbed the feline around its middle and held it an arm's length away. It wiggled but couldn't escape her grasp, so it just gave her a menacing, mechanical growl. With the cat secured, Victoria turned her attention to the four-on-one battle and was surprised to see that another tan Transformer had joined the fray. It was larger than all the others, which might have been why Sides, Sunstreaker, and Ratchet were dealing with it, and had a third limb on its back that would move forward to snap at them, almost getting Sunstreaker at one point.

With all six of them in such close proximity, Victoria realized that the two newcomers' features didn't look anything like the Autobots'. The Autobots were more blocky and clean cut, whereas their enemies seemed to have more distinctive individual parts. She looked down at the panther-like feline and noticed that it looked more like the Autobots.

The former cop car grunted as Ironhide managed to land a hit and stumbled back into its tan companion, who immediately shoved him away. They snapped at each other in what sounded like different machine sounds all meshed together, and Sunstreaker shouted something back at them with the same sounds. Their red eyes focused on him, and both of them looked ready to attack again. Sunstreaker gave them a grin that bordered manic and encouraged them by dropping into an offensive position.

The battle would have gotten nasty if Victoria didn't suddenly scream and fling her captive across the room. It collided with the wall on the far side of the hallway, and its hind leg joint sparked when it attempted to stand, signaling that some damage had been done. As it made a quick escape by limping away, the two red eyed robots exchanged a series of sounds before folding back down into vehicles and speeding off behind the limping cat.

Sunstreaker looked disappointed as they fled, but soon got over it as his brother grabbed his attention, slinging an arm over his shoulder to encourage him to jeer at the enemies' retreating backs. Ironhide and Ratchet made their way back over to Victoria, who had the edge of her hand stuck in her mouth. "Primus, girl," Ironhide said with a chuckle. "What made you throw him so far?"

Victoria took the hand out of her mouth to give it a critical stare. "It bit me."

Ironhide let out another chuckle as Ratchet ordered her to show him her injuries. She did as she was told and endured his poking. She had to tell him what not to poke at, and he avoided touching the wounds as he learned how to handle these new types of injuries. The Twins were now huddled a little further from them, and Ironhide was busy keeping an eye on them, but despite this Ratchet would pause his work long enough to send the two a glare. The glare seemed to keep the two from making a break for it.

"You do know I can patch these up myself," Victoria informed him as he searched for something suitable to place over what were, to her at least, minor scratches.

"Who's the medic?" he growled back at her as he used what appeared to be duct tape to tape down the edges of a cloth he had found.

"I'm just saying-"

"Well then be quiet!"

The woman stared down at him before turning to Ironhide. "Is he always like this?"

"You get used to it," Ironhide said, and she could only assume that this _was_ how the medic acted on a daily basis.

There was a commotion from the hallway and the occupants of the living room tensed for another attack. Attacks didn't seem to be part of the agenda as the masked robot from earlier, Wheeljack as Ratchet had called him, walked around the corner. He paused when he saw the five of them staring at him but ignored four of them as he noticed the big organic awake once again. "Oh look, you woke up! Now if you would so kindly answer a few questions-"

He was cut off as something flew into the room and circled them from above. "Swoop find other Autobots!"

"Yes, good job, Swoop," Wheeljack said, sounding like a parent praising his child. "You did exactly what Prowl asked you to do."

The pterodactyl seemed to deflate as it landed on the floor in front of Victoria. "But me Swoop no find Dinobot brothers."

Victoria felt her heart melt at the sight of the dejected Swoop standing in front of her. "Aw, Swoop."

"Me Swoop very sad," Swoop acknowledged, and he allowed her to pick him up in her cupped hands. His long beak tilted up to look at her. "You know where Dinobot brothers be?"

She was thankful for the next interruption because she would have felt horrible to upset the pterodactyl any more than it already was. The interruption came as a yell and a frantic voice saying, "What the frack is that thing?"

The new red, white, and black robot ducked behind the last robot she had seen with Ratchet earlier. She assumed he was Prowl, since his paint job resembled the cop car they had mistaken him for earlier. "We can't trust that thing!"

"Why not?" Wheeljack asked, and Victoria became temporarily distracted as his fins lit up in sync with his words.

"Look at it!" the panicking Autobot shouted. "It's huge! It could squash us without a second thought."

Victoria blankly stared at him as the small beings turned to stare at her. "I don't see that," Wheeljack said.

"You're not looking at it right!" the panicky robot yelled. "Tilt your head a little to the right."

Swoop was the only one who followed his orders. "Me Swoop see no difference."

"Red Alert," Prowl started with a sigh, "you are just being paranoid again."

"How many accidents have we managed to avoid thanks to me?"

"How many false alarms have you set off?" Sunstreaker snarkily replied before Prowl could.

Red Alert glared and pointed at him. "I warned them about you too!"

With a growl, Sunstreaker began to stalk over to Red Alert, who seemed to realize what he had just said and ducked back behind Prowl, only to be stopped when his brother grabbed one of his arms. "Cool it Sunny! The last thing we need is for Ratchet to be wasting time putting a fellow 'bot back together when it could have been avoided."

The group of mini-Transformers stared at the prankster. "What?"

"You are not escaping punishment," Prowl said firmly, and Sides looked offended.

"What? What makes you think I was trying to do that? I was only helping Ratchet."

Now even Victoria was staring at him. Sides turned to his brother and asked in a hushed voice, "Too much?"

"_Way_ too much bro."

"Slaggit."

"We will discuss this later," Prowl interrupted them. "Right now our main focus should be finding others, if there is anyone else here."

Ironhide looked up at Victoria and, interpreting his gaze, she began to name off the remaining Autobots that were in the box. "There was one that was blue and white, another one that was black and white, but I think he had some blue on him too. And then there was one that looked kind of like you." She gestured towards Prowl, and they instantly seemed to understand who she was talking about as they nodded. "And then there was Optimus, but he was over in the glass cabinet."

Red Alert emitted what could pass as a squeak. "She knows Optimus' name! How can a foreigner know his name? I'm telling you, she's plotting something!"

Ratchet turned to her as he remembered what they had been discussing before their interruption. "You were just about to explain how you knew my name as well."

"She knew Ratchet's name too?"

"Are you okay?" Victoria asked as the little robot seemed to begin hyperventilating.

"Where's Inferno when you need him?" Sides commented to his brother, who just shrugged and turned his attention to more important things. Like checking his paint. It hadn't been damaged because of that dumb Seeker, had it?

"Do you know my name?" Red Alert asked.

"Uh," she stuttered before making a quick decision based on his sporadic twitching. "…no."

This seemed to calm the poor robot down. "Oh thank Primus. So you only know Ratchet and Optimus' names?"

"Yes."

Red Alert nodded and stepped back behind Prowl while keeping an eye on her. "I'm watching you."

"Okay?" Victoria said. Prowl took a step away from Red Alert but was followed. "Well, now that that's been settled, maybe we should find your other companions."

"Right," Prowl agreed as it seemed the most logical choice, which to him it certainly was. "Afterwards you may explain what you know."

Victoria shrugged. The searching would give her time to figure out how to explain to them that their world was nothing more than a huge franchise here...and come to terms that this might actually be real. She was still debating on whether she was dreaming, actually awake and experiencing this outrageous experience, or had completely lost her mind. Surprisingly, she was beginning to believe that this was all real. She had never felt pain in her dreams before, and if she was going insane, then it would have happened a _long_ time ago.

Everyone followed Prowl out into the hallway, except Swoop, who, to Victoria's surprise, flew up to settle on her shoulder. She followed them at a slower pace to not only keep her new companion from falling off her shoulder but to also keep herself from stepping on any wayward bots. Sides and Sunstreaker seemed to be little daredevils as one or the other would weave through her legs from time to time.

"Hey!" a new voice yelled from ahead of them. Victoria barely paid attention to it as Sunstreaker felt the need to graduate from leg weaving to foot hopping, meaning he would intentionally try to jump on her foot. "I knew you guys would be here! Well actually, I didn't know that Red Alert or Swoop would be here. But I guessed the rest of you! I also guessed Bumblebee, but then I remembered that he was scouting the other side of the city with Hound and Arcee. Was Hot Rod part of that team too? No wait, I think it was just those three."

"Bluestreak!" Sides exclaimed as he abandoned the new game Sunstreaker had invented in favor of tackling the new bot. "I'm so happy to see you! I was worried that me and Sunny were stuck with all the old-timers." He froze as he seemed to feel the heat of all the "old-timers" glares. "I mean, our battle experienced war veterans and stuff."

"Guess Ah'd be in that category too, havin' so much 'experience' an' such," another voice said, and Victoria finally glanced up see four new Autobots joining their group. Sides was standing beside a younger looking Prowl (the smile was what made him look so younger) and standing beside them was the last black and white robot, who had what looked like a pair of blue sunglasses instead of two individual eyes. They must have run ahead because the last two were still a good distance away—the blue and white one walking with a more sophisticated air around him, and Optimus Prime was carrying his- wait, what? Why was Optimus carrying his arm?

Ratchet seemed to have the same thought as he eyeballed his leader. "Optimus—"

"I have absolutely no idea how this happened," Optimus interrupted as he held out his limb. "Believe it or not, it just fell off."

Ratchet stared at the arm before nodding and making his way over to him. Sunstreaker, who now sat on top of Victoria's foot after winning his new "game," looked slightly put off by the medic's easy acceptance. "That's not fair! When me and Sides come into your medbay with a missing limb you load us down with questions."

"Because you usually tell me lies," Ratchet answered as he took Optimus' arm. "And it's entertaining to watch as you two struggle to keep your stories straight. That's why I stick you two in separate rooms."

Sunstreaker grumbled as his brother chuckled good-naturally. Wheeljack moved over to help Ratchet, or at least he appeared to be helping. As the two fiddled with the arm, Optimus finally noticed the huge organic standing behind his men. "Well, it is not every day that you come across a being ten times your size."

Victoria knocked Sunstreaker off of her foot so that she could crouch down and appear to be on their level. Swoop floated down to transform into his bipedal form next to Wheeljack and Ratchet. "Me Swoop help?"

Ratchet moved over for the Dinobot to observe the reattachment of the leader's limb. Optimus acted as if he wasn't currently one arm less than normal, and Victoria admired that the missing arm and the fact that they were so small now weren't slowing him down. "My name is Optimus Prime, and I am leader of the Autobots. I see that you have already met most of my men."

"Formal introduction would be swell," she said while flicking Sunstreaker in the head. "That's for almost making me trip down the hallway."

"Fragger," Sunstreaker snarled back as majority of the assembled mechs chuckled or outright laughed as was the case for Sides and Bluestreak. The blue and white mech gave a hesitant smile that vanished as quickly as it had appeared, and Prowl kept his face as neutral as possible.

Optimus' optics still shone with humor as he began to introduce each Autobot, pointing at them as he named them of. "My Second in Command: Prowl." Prowl nodded at her. "My Third in Command and the head of Special Ops: Jazz." She could tell that Jazz, the one who looked like he was wearing sunglasses, was less uptight than his fellow officer as he gave her a grin and jaunty wave that she couldn't help but return. "My Chief Medical Officer: Ratchet."

"Oh, she knows," Ratchet said dryly while not even bothering to look up from the shoulder joint he was repairing.

Optimus just blinked and continued down the line. "Our Chief Engineer: Wheeljack." Wheeljack gave a cheery wave. "Mirage, who works under Jazz in Special Ops." The blue and white mech with the refined air and hesitant smile nodded at her. "Our Weapons Specialist: Ironhide." Ironhide nodded at her. "Our Security Director: Red Alert."

"I don't trust her Optimus," Red Alert jumped in as soon as he was finally mentioned.

"Do you trust anyone?" Sunstreaker said snidely, and Victoria flicked his head again. "What the—why the pit did you do that?"

"I don't like your tone."

Sunstreaker stared at her in disbelief as Sides and Bluestreak began to laugh. "Who do you think you are? My creator or something?"

"I'm gonna be the one who squishes you if you annoy me too much." Victoria didn't wait for his response as she turned back to Optimus. "Shall we continue?"

"Well, since our attention has been brought to them, this is Sunstreaker and his twin Sideswipe." Sunstreaker sneered at her while Sideswipe waved. "The one standing beside Sideswipe is Bluestreak."

"Hi!" Bluestreak said cheerfully. "It's nice to meet you. I've gotta say, I've _never_ seen someone as big as you. I think you'd even give Omega Supreme a run for his credits. He's huge! But there are some 'bots that can combine together and make bigger 'bots. I guess I should rephrase that and say that you're the biggest organic I've ever seen."

The other Autobots waited patiently for the younger mech to come to an end while Victoria blinked at how he was able to get that all out in one go. "Wow…you like to talk don't you?"

Bluestreak's head quickly bobbed up and down, and he opened his mouth to say something else when Sideswipe placed a hand on his shoulder. "Slow down Blue. You'll be able to say as much as ya want when we get done with business." Bluestreak nodded and went to stand by Prowl, his little door-wings wiggling up and down in cheerful anticipation.

"Me Swoop!" Swoop introduced himself when he deemed that Optimus was too slow to get to his introduction. "Swoop Dinobot."

"We are autonomous robotic beings from the planet Cybertron," Optimus continued once everyone had been properly introduced.

"Autobots!" Wheeljack distractedly piped in as he held the Optimus' arm so that Ratchet could use both hands to repair it. His fins winked as he shook his head. "Wow, I think I just had a flashback…"

"That's because you said the same thing less than two breems ago," Ratchet said as he used his wrench to regain the engineer's attention. "Pay attention to what you're doing! You nearly dropped it."

"Me Swoop can hold if Wheeljack can't," Swoop said as he turned back to the two.

"Well—"

"He can hold it Swoop. You just watch because there'll come a day when you'll be left to do this on your own."

Optimus allowed the three to quiet down before he continued. "How we came to be here is currently a mystery—"

"Oh I can solve that one," Ratchet interrupted as he pointed his wrench in the general direction of the Twins. "And there happens to be two answers."

Sideswipe didn't hesitate as he pointed back to him. "It was Wheeljack's fault."

"My fault?" Wheeljack said in offense as he passed his current task over to Swoop so that he could address Sideswipe directly instead of behind Ratchet. "I told you two that that bomb was still in the drafting stages."

"You get us to test them out all the time," Sunstreaker objected and stood firmly beside his brother. "You're just upset because we proved it didn't work."

"That's a lie! It worked perfectly!"

The Autobots stared at the inventor while Victoria was left to figure out what they had been talking about to begin with. Prowl's frown grew more prominent as he took a step towards him. "Wheeljack."

Wheeljack blinked as he realized what he had said. "Um, I mean, I had no idea this would happen. Let's go back to blaming the Twins again!"

"One o' ya inventions was successful?" Jazz asked in disbelief.

"You know, my self-esteem crumbles a little every time you all act so amazed," Wheeljack said pitifully as his ear fins dimmed.

"Well, our minds get blown every time ya make somethin' that don't blow up in ya face." Most of the mechs laughed at Jazz's teasing. Even Prowl cracked a smile before it quickly vanished.

"If your latest invention was not meant to simply explode, then what _was _its purpose?" Optimus asked. Ratchet finished with his arm and ordered him to move it in certain ways to see if the joint was now functioning properly.

Wheeljack's fins lit back up as he began to answer Optimus' question. "Well it was an idea I had been playing with for a while, and honestly it was only meant to be used as a last resort. Decepticons have a nasty habit of targeting Autobots who aren't at their peak performance level at the moment and wouldn't be able to handle a full blown fight. So I thought 'What if you could get rid of the Decepticon with little to no hassle?' Of course, there's physics and whatnot involved but—"

"Please don't start talking about that mumbo jumbo," Sunstreaker interrupted, earning another flick to the head via Victoria.

"Yes, try to keep it simple as possible," Optimus said more politely, remembering the multiple times when Wheeljack had completely lost his audience when he delved deeper into his explanations.

Wheeljack nodded. "Oh, I wasn't going to delve into it anyway. It took _me_ vorns to fully understand it and that was just with standard Space Bridge physics. Anyway the short and sweet of it is that the bomb was actually meant to teleport things."

"Teleportation?" Prowl said slowly. "Through a bomb?"

Wheeljack nodded again. "Yep! I hadn't exactly figured out how to program the destinations—"

"Wheeljack!" Ratchet cut him off as he watched Prowl's optics dim as his logic processors tried to process what Wheeljack had said. He had also seen how Red Alert just froze. "We can talk about this later."

"Teleportation?" Victoria echoed Prowl's earlier disbelief. "You actually built a teleportation device?"

"It's actually quite easy to make a teleportation device with the right materials," Wheeljack said proudly. "Now one the size of an average grenade is a little more difficult. It wasn't exactly even _complete_ when the Twins took it from my lab."

"In our defense, you should really start labeling what is and isn't complete," Sideswipe said with his brother nodding in agreement.

"If you had the materials, could you recreate the device?" Optimus asked.

"Sure. Anything's easier to make the second time around," Wheeljack said with an air of confidence. "I could even finish it completely if I wanted to…"

"Um," Victoria interrupted the planning inventor. "Was your invention by chance meant to, I don't know, teleport someone across dimensions?"

Wheeljack's fins lit up to the brightest setting they had been all night. "No, but that's a brilliant idea!"

"I think it might have already done that," Victoria said hesitantly as Wheeljack began to plan again. All of the Autobots turned to her, even the frozen Red Alert and slowly recovering Prowl. "You guys said you're robotic beings form the planet Cybertron, but here-"She hesitated as she tried to think of the easiest way to break the news to them. "The entire concept of Transformers—of _you—_is a kid's cartoon. You have an entire franchise of toys and other merchandise, a cartoon, and even a live-action film. You're not…_real."_

They stared at her in shocked silence, and Ironhide finally realized what she had been talking about earlier. If everything she had just said was true, then it was no wonder she had thought she had lost her mind. If something he believed was nothing more than a kid's plaything came to life, than he would be questioning his sanity too. The silence was broken by a frantic Red Alert.

"What!"

The shout broke through the daze that had come to settle over them. Bluestreak began to incoherently babble as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe tried to keep up with him. Jazz was speaking in a low voice to Prowl, who seemed to have frozen again. Wheeljack was celebrating one of his biggest successes, while Optimus, Ratchet, _and_ Ironhide tried to calm the frantic Red Alert. Swoop transformed into his alt-mode and flew up to Victoria's shoulder, and Mirage seemed to follow his example as he moved over to stand beside her to avoid any damage from the mayhem that might ensue.

"Red Alert!" Optimus' deep, calm voice rose above the rest. "Calm down!"

"Calm down?" Red Alert parroted. "Calm down! How am I supposed to calm down after hearing that we're not even _real?"_

"Prowl!" Jazz shouted as he reached out to grab the falling Prowl, whose optics had gone dim. "Aw, man! Prowler's processor done gone an' crashed again."

"He lasted a lot longer than I had anticipated," Mirage spoke up for the first time, and Victoria noted his proper speech.

"Me Swoop no feel good either," the pterodactyl said and turned to Victoria. "If Swoop not real, does that mean Dinobot brothers not real either?"

Victoria sadly shook her head. "Sorry, Swoop."

Swoop slumped before perking back up again. "Then how come me Swoop here? Me real now."

Bluestreak stopped talking as he heard Swoop's question. "Yeah, how come we're here?"

Victoria shrugged and shook her head as she didn't have an explanation. "I don't know. But before you, well, appeared here, you were just my brother's old toys."

Wheeljack paused in his celebration. "I have an idea! Maybe we're not really here. Physically I mean. Perhaps only our subconscious was brought here. Our real selves may still be on Cybertron."

"Dat definitely would've made Prowler crash," Jazz said while he propped Prowl's unmoving body against the wall.

"Thankfully he's already crashed so less damage has been done!"

Ratchet didn't look nearly as amused at Wheeljack's statement as the younger mechs and Jazz were. Victoria sleepily smiled at the group as the long day finally caught up to her. "I still think I'm dreaming all of this, so whatever explanations you guys can come up with are probably better than mine."

She yawned and Swoop sidled closer to her cheek. "What you just do?"

"I yawned," she told him and did it again, much to Swoop's amusement. "It's what humans do when they get tired."

"You're already tired?" Bluestreak asked in surprise.

"You guys may be able to keep going for days and days, but humans have to get around eight hours of sleep every day to keep functioning properly." Victoria stood from her crouch, regaining Red Alert's attention as he cringed away from her. "Now what's your problem?"

He twitched and finally allowed Ratchet to calm him down. Ratchet answered for him. "Don't mind him. He just needs time to adjust."

Sunstreaker opened his mouth but closed he when caught Victoria staring at him. "You're learning."

"Shut up."

Optimus walked over to where she stood. "However way we may have come to be here, there are still Decepticons roaming freely through the premises. It would be wiser if we remained close by in the even that they decide to attack again."

"Anyone attacks me in my sleep and they're dead," Victoria said seriously as she started walking the short distance to her bedroom. Optimus followed after her with little hesitation, and the other Autobots soon filed in behind them, with Jazz and Bluestreak at the rear carrying Prowl.

"Hey, this is where we found Optimus!" Bluestreak exclaimed for anyone who cared to listen. "He was under the big berth getting shot at by Starscream, Thundercracker, Soundwave, Rumble, and Frenzy. Wow, when you say their names all together it seems like a lot of Decepticons."

"Add that to Ravage, Skywarp, and the two other Decepticons we encountered earlier and you have nine," Ironhide concluded. "Three less than the Autobot number."

"That's great!" Jazz said, adjusting his hold on Prowl. "Normally the Decepticons outnumber us."

"That's because they have a bunch of mindless drones," Sideswipe said. "If you counted the number of Decepticons with a processor to make their own decisions, then we would always outnumber them."

Swoop flew off of Victoria's shoulder as she collapsed on top of the bed. He landed on the nightstand beside her and transformed to hop onto the pillow under her head. "Why berth so lumpy?"

"To make humans happy," Victoria answered, her voice muffled by the fact that her face was squished into the pillow.

"And how long are you supposed be in recharge?" Ratchet asked in a medic-type tone from the floor below.

"Just let me sleep until I wake up." Victoria moved her head from the pillow and leaned over the edge of the bed to see the Autobots scattered across the room. Ratchet stood just below her head looking up at her, with Optimus standing behind him. The Twins had become interested in the bookshelf on the other side of the room and looked as if they were about to start scaling it to escape Ironhide, who was stomping over their way. Jazz and Bluestreak were just setting Prowl up against the nightstand when the lamp on the nightstand started to flicker on and off; she looked up to see that Wheeljack had climbed up onto the nightstand and was pushing the switch on and off. The only two she couldn't see were Red Alert and Mirage, though from sounds of it, one of them must have been beneath the bed. "If you're still here in the morning, then we'll start talking about what needs to be done to get you back to wherever you came from."

"Ah," Optimus said in understanding. "You still believe that this is a…dream. Correct?"

"Of course," she answered as she laid her head back down. Swoop was now jumping on the pillow next to her with a childlike wonder. "We'll talk in the morning when I'm slightly saner. In the odd case that you're still here, I guess you should know that my name's Victoria."

Optimus nodded and walked over to Jazz, who was now inspecting the dresser much like the Twins were doing to the bookcase. Ratchet gave her a final look before following after him. When no more bots attempted to speak with her, Victoria finally rolled over onto her side and slipped into sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> That's all the Autobots. The Decepticons will get their own chapter of introductions :) And yes, Barricade and his (obvious) tanned companion are the only ones in the story whose appearance will be from the Movie-verse. Why? To support Wheeljack's theory of course.

**EDITED: 1/3/2014 (Grammar, some added/changed words, etc.)**


	4. Decepticons

Pint Sized

Chapter Three

Decepticons, Neutrality, and Cookies from the Sun

* * *

><p><strong>Day 2<strong>

The next morning Victoria awoke to the generic sound of the alarm on her phone. She must have forgotten to turn it off the day before, which was an honest mistake. She had never had the need to turn it off since moving out of her childhood home.

The alarm was getting louder, and the tired woman blindly stuck her hand out from under the blankets she had burrowed herself under at some point during the night. Her hand hadn't even reached the nightstand when the phone clattered to the ground and shut off mid-alarm. The hand retracted, and she stuck her head out to see what had caused it to fall.

Swoop was standing where the phone had been and glanced up when he noticed she was awake. "Me Swoop no like loud sound."

Victoria blinked as Ironhide congratulated a job well done from where he stood on the floor beside the phone. Wheeljack came over to stand beside him and poked at the device. "What is it?"

She glanced down at them sleepily. "You're not supposed to be here."

Wheeljack looked up at her, and his fins lit up with his humor. "I can go over there if you'd like."

Victoria followed his finger to see that the Autobots had been busy during the time that she was asleep. The entire second shelf of the bookcase had been emptied, and the books that were previously stacked there were now set up as a sort of staircase leading up to the shelf where Ratchet, Optimus, Mirage, and Red Alert stood together. They appeared to be speaking to each other in low tones, with Red Alert occasionally flailing his arms about for emphasis.

"Looks like you guys have been busy," Victoria said, pushing a strand of black hair out of her face.

Ironhide shrugged. "We needed a base of operations. At least from up there we can see the Decepticons coming before they reach us. That and it made Red Alert feel more secure. And a secure Red means less headache."

"He had a mini breakdown after you fell into recharge," Wheeljack joined in, using his fingers to demonstrate how "small" the breakdown had been. "He's happy now though!"

"Um hmm," Victoria hummed, watching the mech they happened to speaking of turn his attention to them. He saw her awake and subtly sidled over so that Optimus was shielding him from her view. "I can see that."

She paused as she took a quick mental roll call. "Wait a minute, are we missing somebody?"

"Nope," Ironhide said as he began to walk away. "The Twins are bein' punished by Prowl; Jazz went on reconnaissance; and Bluestreak's behind you."

Victoria twisted around to see the younger mech was lying on the pillow behind her, his bright optics dimmed and in what appeared to be the equivalent of sleep. She was actually surprised to see that he had pulled up enough of the sheet to cover up his tiny form.

"He climbed up there sometime last night," Wheeljack supplied as he turned over her phone to view the dark screen. "Must have been in more need of a recharge than he originally thought. Once we noticed he had done it, no one had the spark to wake him up. Didn't think you would mind—he doesn't take up much space anyway."

Victoria shook her head and moved to get out of the bed, making sure not to step on Wheeljack, and bent down to take the phone away from him. He put his hands on his hips and looked as if he was offended. "Well then, just snatch it away! I obviously wasn't doing anything with it."

Victoria watched him stomp away to the bookshelf. She looked over at Swoop, who now sat on the edge of the nightstand with his legs swinging in the air. He looked like a mech with little to no care about what was going on around him. "What's his problem?"

"Wheeljack just in mood," Swoop said with a sort of shrug, and his legs kicked up a little higher than before. "Least that what Ratchet say."

They watched Wheeljack jump up the book staircase to join the little group of Autobots. While he joined in on their conversation, Victoria turned back to her phone. She pressed a button on the side of it and waited for it to turn on. Swoop transformed and flew up to sit on her shoulder, sidestepping along her shoulder until his tiny body was pressed against her neck. "Me Swoop no like loud sound."

"My alarm?" she asked as the screen lit up with the name of the company that designed the phone. "I forgot to turn it off."

"What use for?" Swoop asked, watching the screen with heavy suspicion.

"To wake me up in the morning." Victoria played with the phone long enough to conclude that no damage was done to it and placed it back on the nightstand. Swoop kept a trained optic on it even as she stood up to walk across the room to her suitcase. She froze halfway there and turned to the side as a movement caught her eye. On her initial scan of the room, she had completely bypassed the overturned laundry basket. Now she crouched down to see clearly through the bars of the basket. Sideswipe saw her staring and cheerfully waved back while Sunstreaker scowled. "What are you two doing?"

"Their punishment."

Victoria yelped, causing Swoop to quickly vacate her shoulder and fly above her in tight circles, and the spooked woman placed a hand over her quickly beating heart as she stared down at the sudden appearance of Prowl. "What the-where did you come from!"

Prowl frowned while the Twins snickered in the background. "I have been standing here the entire time."

"Seriously?" she asked. He nodded, and she combed her hand through her tangled bed hair. "I totally didn't see you there."

"Prowler's a lot sneakier than we give 'im credit fo'!"

This time Victoria screamed and fell over as the scare made her loose her balance. She leaned up to see Jazz sheepishly grinning and the Twins outright laughing behind their temporary prison. "Now, where did you come from?"

Jazz pointed over to the door that was cracked open wide enough for one of the mini-Transformers to squeeze through. "Jus' got back an' decided ta come repor' my findin's ta Prowler."

Victoria shook her head and stood up so that Swoop could safely re-land on her shoulder. "It's too early to be dealing with you guys."

"'K!" Jazz yelled back up at her without a care. "Talk ta ya later!"

She waved down at them and grabbed the clothes she had been aiming for from her suitcase. With a quick glance over to the bookshelf, the brunette slipped out of the bedroom and across the hallway to the bathroom where she stopped just short of closing the door. She glanced down at her content passenger. "Swoop, I need you to, uh, go back to the bedroom."

Swoop tilted his head up at her. "Why?"

Victoria glanced around the bathroom as she answered him. "I need to do some, umm, _private_ things."

Swoop still seemed to not understand but took off from her shoulder anyways. "Okay, Swoop go." He flew out of the bathroom before quickly flying back before she could close the door. "Swoop wake up from now on. No more loud noise."

Victoria stared in confusion as she tried to figure out what he meant while Swoop flew straight back into her room. With a shrug, she let it go and closed the door. Victoria turned to the mirror and almost giggled when she spotted a small piece of fabric taped to the middle of her forehead. "I look like one of those Indian women." She poked the area around it and cringed when a brief sting of pain emanated from the spot. "Except I'm pretty sure theirs are painless."

Victoria spent the next couple of minutes pulling off Ratchet's imitations of bandages, cringing when the tape he had secured them with pulled off whatever had managed to scab over. When that was finished and the scratches had stopped burning, she applied some knock-off brand ointment and real bandages and quickly changed out of the clothes she had worn the previous day. As much as she wanted to, she decided against taking a shower. It just seemed rude to take a thirty minute shower with "guests" in the next room.

It was when Victoria was brushing her teeth that she glimpsed a flash of light out of the corner of the mirror. Pausing, she stared at the spot, her toothbrush hanging lopsided from her mouth, and almost choked on the toothpaste in her mouth when she saw the flash again as the light reflected off of whatever it was. She slowly bent over and spit out the toothpaste before turning to see what was in the bathroom with her. And, despite her first instinct to panic, she wasn't the least bit surprised to find another robot in the bathroom with her.

"_I see myself going through a lot of shrinks when this is finally over,"_ Victoria thought as she stared at the red and black bird-like robot sitting on the towel rack and staring directly at her. For some reason, she immediately thought of the tiny panther that had attacked her last night.

"Are you spying on me?" she asked after having a mini-stare down with it. The tiny bird-like robot said nothing as the woman stared at it. She was about to ask it again when it suddenly took off from its perch on the towel bar and flew through the crack at the bottom of the door. Victoria wasted no time chasing after it. No one spied on her and just took off!

The bird ducked around the staircase, and Victoria followed after it, only to quickly fall back as it spun around to inspect the area behind it. She peeked through the bars of the staircase as she crouched down on the first two steps just in time to see it fly beneath the door at the end of the hallway. Cautiously, she tip-toed towards the door and opened it a sliver to peek through…and felt an insane urge to laugh.

The big bad Decepticons that Optimus and the other Autobots were so worried about were hiding out in the utility room? And it looked as if they were camping out in the dryer. Why that was such a hilarious thought to her was a complete mystery.

"Laserbeak: Report," a monotone voice came from the room, and Victoria's eyes darted down to the indigo robot that was standing closest to the door. The bird, Laserbeak she supposed, was now perched on the blue robot's shoulder. The masked mech nodded and unhurriedly made his way towards the little lean-to that had been constructed out of an old detergent box outside of the open dryer.

A red, white, and blue robot with wings stepped out from beneath the lean-to and placed his fists on his hips. "Well?"

"Location: Outside," the monotone robot said and pointed in the general direction of where Victoria stood. The woman froze as the two turned to stare directly at her.

"What?" the winged robot screeched, and his red optics were bright with surprise and heated outrage. "You didn't think to inform me of this earlier Soundwave?"

The indigo robot, Soundwave, shrugged and tilted his head towards Laserbeak, who was still perched on his shoulder. "Laserbeak: Return."

Victoria opened the door wider and watched as the bird folded into a cassette tape instead of a car or a jet like the other Transformers she had seen, or in Swoop's case a dinosaur. The cassette flew into the compartment in Soundwave's chest that he had opened, and once it had settled in, he closed it back up. Considering the fact that she had seen just about everything after seeing the toys come to life, a bird folding into a cassette and hiding in another robot wasn't as shocking as it probably should have been. Go figure.

"Femme!" a shout from above startled Victoria, and she turned to see two more robots standing on the shelves that held the clothes detergent and other miscellaneous house cleaning products. The one that shouted was a purple and black winged robot while his companion, a blue robot similar in design, stood beside him shaking his head. "Quick, Starscream, evasive maneuvers!"

"You moron, Skywarp!" the one with the scratchy voice yelled back. Skywarp just laughed.

Soundwave glanced up at the two standing on the shelf before returning to his post near the door, inclining his head to look up at the human with no emotion at all. Victoria had lost interest in the two who stood on the floor and focused in on the laughing Skywarp. "You're the one who shot me yesterday."

Skywarp stopped laughing and looked at her with big red optics. "No, I wasn't. You're mistaking me for someone else."

The human placed her hands on her hips and stared straight at him. "There's no other toy that I've seen with a purple and black color scheme that has wings."

Skywarp stared back at her, and a heavy silence stretched between them. The blue mech, who still stood beside Skywarp, took a step back from the accused. Skywarp finally broke their silence. "It was my evil twin."

"Really?" she asked. "Your evil twin?"

"Yep," Skywarp said confidently. "He's always doing bad things, and I'm the one who takes the fall for him. Because I'm a good brother and all."

The blue jet smacked his forehead, and Starscream muttered something unidentifiable from down below. Soundwave, who had been discretely listening to the conversation, looked up at the shelf and shook his head at the pathetic lie. "Implausible."

Skywarp stepped up to the ledge to look down at the monotone mech. "No one asked for your opinion!"

Victoria held up her hand and flicked Skywarp in the head in a similar way that she did to Sunstreaker the night before. "Shoot me again and you'll get more than just a flick to the head."

Skywarp stumbled and held his head where she had flicked him. "Gah, my head! Starscream, I don't think I can take the next watch."

"Suck it up, Skywarp!" Starscream yelled from below and shuffled when Victoria glanced down at him. "Nothing has been damaged."

Skywarp stopped his moaning to glare down at him. "Are you insinuating that I have a malfunction within my processor?"

Everyone in the room stared at the jet in disbelief, to which he took offense and showed it by huffing and crossing his arms. "What?"

"Holy pit, when did Skywarp learn such big words?"

"Rumble, Frenzy: Report." Soundwave immediately turned to the two new mechs who slipped through the door. Victoria was amazed to see that the two newcomers were even smaller than the already tiny Transformers. They both had similar visors to Jazz and Soundwave, red to depict their faction, and similar frames to each other, though both were a different color: one was blue and the other was red.

"Hey!" the blue one yelled while pointing at Victoria. "Who let the organic in here?"

"Probably Screamer," the red one snickered as Starscream growled. "He's such a coward that he would let anyone in if it meant saving his own skidplate."

"Insubordination!" Starscream screeched as he stomped over to them. "You Cassettes need to learn your place!"

"But it's _your_ place to kiss everybody's aft." The two burst into laughter at the jet's outrage, and even Skywarp began to laugh from where he was now swinging his legs over the edge of the shelf. Soundwave shook his head and repeated his previous order only to have the red one wave him off. "Yeah, yeah. There's nothing up there—no Autobots, no other organics, no nothing! Complete waste of time if you ask me."

"No one asked you," Starscream snarled from between his gritted teeth, and Victoria assumed that it was another jibe at him. "For your information, _Megatron_ himself issued the order."

The two Cassettes shrugged. "It was still a waste of time."

Before Starscream could reply, the cop car from the night before streaked into the room, accidentally colliding with Starscream's legs and knocking him over. Starscream screeched a string of profanities while the cop car unfolded. Soon the black and white mech stood on two feet and stared at the enraged jet. "My apologies, _Starscream._ I should pay better attention to where I am going."

It was then that Victoria got the impression that Starscream wasn't liked very much by his comrades, and she had a feeling it wasn't just because of his screechy voice. True, the two jets seemed to not have a problem with him, but the others weren't nearly as happy with him.

"Starscream, cease your incessant babbling."

Starscream snapped his mouth close. "Megatron!"

Victoria searched the room for the new voice until she found it standing on the rim of the dryer. A grey mech arrogantly stood there with his hands resting on his hips and a deadly looking cannon attached to his arm. She could see another mech peeking over the rim—the tanned one that fought with the cop car and cat last night—but the proud stance the grey one held made it obvious that he was the one who had spoken. His red optics were also looking directly at Starscream. "Is there nothing better for you to do than babble?"

"L-lord Megatron!" Starscream stumbled as he tried to pick himself up. "You see- I was just- Lord Megatron, we have been infiltrated!"

Megatron followed the path of Starscream's pointing finger until he came to a stop on Victoria. "Starscream you fool! You don't think I can see that?"

Starscream appeared to cringe further in on himself, and the blue jet hovered down from the shelf to stand next to him. "Of course not! I was just…making sure?"

Megatron scoffed at the jet before fully transferring his attention to the outsider. "Now-"

That was when the laughter Victoria had been trying to contain finally came out as loud guffaws. Looks of surprise flashed across the faces of the Decepticons before the more stoic ones were able to hide the expression. Skywarp and the Cassette twins were the few who continued to show their surprise. "Whoa, Frenzy I think the organic's processor is broke."

"That didn't take long."

Soundwave sent the two a look, and they quieted down but continued to stare at her. Megatron did not look amused at her laughter. "What are you laughing at?"

Victoria fell to her knees so that she was more on his level. "Your- you're a-" She struggled to get her words past the giggles that still escaped. This just made the whole situation official. She would have never had the imagination to picture the Decepticon tyrant like this. "You're a little Lego® man!"

She covered her mouth in an effort to restrain the laughter that the statement reignited. Megatron growled and aimed his shoulder cannon at her. "Stop this nonsense this instance!"

"The Decepticon's leader," she said with giggles, "is a tiny Lego® person!" Her laughter turned to gasps as she fought to breathe. "Why are all the Decepticons different toys?" Her eyes widened as another round of giggles threatened to surface. Her brief period of sleep definitely wasn't helping her now. "What if Optimus had been a Lego® man too? Transformers from both sides following their pint-sized leaders?" She finally gave into the next round of laughter and lowered her forehead to the floor as the laughter began to make her stomach hurt.

Megatron growled and turned back to Starscream. "Starscream, you have failed me yet again!"

"What?" Starscream screeched. "What did I do?"

"You were supposed to find someone we could use to escape this wretched place." He pointed at where Victoria was gasping for breath and giggling at the same time. "Instead, you brought me a fool almost as incompetent as you!"

"But, Megatron-" Starscream was cut off by the glare his leader sent his way as said leader turned back to the human, who was rubbing her aching stomach. "But she knows where the Autobots are currently located!"

Megatron looked intrigued as he scanned the girl again. "Oh really?" He jumped down from the dryer and casually made his way over to her. "Then she would not mind telling us."

"I don't think so," Victoria said when she could finally breath again. "I'm not getting involved in your little war."

"You do not have a choice," Megatron said confidently, jumping onto a box of detergent to be on eye level with her again. "Tell or-"

"Or what?" Victoria cut him off, not missing the cringe from some of the Decepticons as she did. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm nearly ten times bigger than all of you. You're not exactly in the position to be ordering me around."

That's when she got another bullet to the forehead in the_ exact same spot as before_. Megatron looked highly satisfied where he stood, watching the giant blink. "Would you like to repeat that or shall we move on to the part where you confess the location of the Autobots?"

Instead of falling on her face to grovel, Victoria glared at him. "Okay, that's it. I'm stopping this shooting me once and for all." She plucked the mini-Megatron from his box. "This needs to be heard by everyone." She walked right out of the room with the angered leader cursing her, and the other Decepticons were too shocked to stop her.

"Did Megatron-" Frenzy started as Rumble's laughter interrupted him. "Did you see that? Megatron just got hauled off by the native!"

Soundwave shot them a stoic glare behind his visor as Starscream placed a servo over his spark in remorse. "Megatron was a strong leader."

"Starscream," Thundercracker interrupted in exasperation. "He isn't dead."

"Yet."

For once, Skywarp was the first to take the initiative as he leaped from the shelf and transformed mid-air to follow. Barricade was the next to leave as he transformed with Rumble and Frenzy running after them. Starscream scowled as both Thundercracker and Soundwave gave him a look. "Fine! We will follow and rescue our leader. Bonecrusher!" He turned to regard the mech still in the dryer. "Stay here and guard the base."

"I wasn't gonna follow you anyways," Bonecrusher grumbled as he ducked back in the dryer. Starscream shot a glare his way as Thundercracker dragged him out behind Soundwave.

Meanwhile, Victoria had reached the door to her room and kicked it open so that she could enter. The majority of the Autobots were in similar positions as they had been when she first left, with the exception of Bluestreak, who had woken up, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, who had both been released and were running in and out from beneath the bed, and Prowl and Jazz, who had joined the group on the bookcase. Said group looked over as the yells of Megatron finally reached them. "What-"

Optimus was cut off as Red Alert gasped. "I knew we couldn't trust her! She's brought the enemy straight to us!"

Megatron stopped his struggles when he realized where he had been brought and smirked. "I knew you would cave."

"Please," Victoria said while flinging the little robot into the bookcase. The Autobots scattered and watched the Decepticon collide with the back of the bookcase. "What I have to say needs to be heard by not only the Decepticons but the Autobots as well."

Megatron's tiny curved hand rubbed his helm as he stood up, glaring at the taller Autobots around him. "I will not be manhandled in such a way!"

"Until you grow six feet tall, deal with it!" she said, pointing a finger at him. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe laughed, and Bluestreak stared up at her in awe. No one had ever spoken to the Decepticon overlord in such a way. He was only addressed with either fear, deranged loyalty, or more fear—not in the same tone as a parent scolding a child. "Now, where are your minions?"

Skywarp came flying through the door then and transformed with a flourish to land on top of the bed. "And he sticks the landing!" He looked around to see Megatron and the Autobots in the bookcase. "Are we in the middle of an ambush?"

"Come down here and find out, glitch-head," Sunstreaker taunted from below.

Skywarp walked over to the edge to see the Twins and Bluestreak staring up at him. "Oh look! You groundpounders look as tiny as ever."

Sunstreaker scowled, and even the sweet and talkative Bluestreak glared with Sideswipe. "Come down here and say that to my face, cloudhugger!"

Instead of doing as he was told, Skywarp sat down to mockingly swing his legs over the edge. "I prefer my seat up here, thank you very much."

Sunstreaker was distracted by the police car that skidded around the corner of the doorjamb and screeched to a halt. The Decepticon quickly threw himself in reverse and nearly mowed over the Cassettes that had been following him. "Hey! Watch it, you lugnut!"

The car unfolded in a matter of seconds and swatted the red Cassette into the door. Frenzy laughed at his brother's poor luck. "Not only did Barricade get a new look, but he got an even shorter fuse!"

Barricade raised his hand, and Frenzy quickly ducked over to his brother. "Whoa, swing that another way."

"Rumble, Frenzy," Soundwave monotonously warned as he came around the corner with Thundercracker and a disgruntled Starscream.

Starscream stopped his complaints long enough to see who was in the room. "She's sent us straight into an Autobot ambush!"

"I knew it!" Skywarp exclaimed just as Victoria voiced her denial.

Optimus, having finally gotten over the fact that his rival was, well, _tiny_, looked up at her. "Victoria, it may not have been your intention to, but you have given our position away to the Decepticons and have put us in a vulnerable position."

Victoria's previous anger gave into guilt as she realized what she had done. "Sorry, Optimus. If it helps, the Decepticons have set up base in the dryer down the hallway." A series of denials rose from the opposing faction, topped off by Skywarp's dramatic cries of "Lies!" "Oh, come on! They would have found you eventually."

"What was the purpose of this?" Prowl spoke up as Jazz attempted to calm Red Alert.

Victoria snapped back to the present situation. "I have been shot at and scratched more times within the last few hours than my entire life."

"You're the one who damaged Ravage?" Frenzy interrupted angrily.

"If Ravage is the cat, then yes." She glared down at the blue mech. "And I'll squish you, if you tick me off.

To those who knew the loudmouth Frenzy, it was quite a surprise to see him back down so easily. He quickly sidled up to his brother instead of yelling back. "Rumble, she's got the look!"

Rumble looked at him like he was crazy. "What look?"

"The look the big guy gets when he's really angry!"

Rumble looked up at her and then at Soundwave, who kept one optic on them and the other on Victoria. "Slaggit Frenzy, you're right!"

"I'm not getting on her bad side," Frenzy vowed with his brother nodding alongside him. "If her anger's anything like the boss's, it aint worth it."

With that, the two of them ducked behind Soundwave for the remainder of the meeting. Victoria blinked as the two hid from her. "Okay…" She turned back to Optimus. "As I was saying, I'm tired of being shot at, and seeing as it appears that this is all real and you're pint-sized little robots-"

"Mechs," Ratchet interrupted. "The term robot is highly offensive."

"Sorry. Since you're all pint-sized _mechs_ in my house, you're going to abide by my rules."

"The Decepticons do not agree with this," Megatron immediately said. "Now, put me down on the ground so that I can leave."

Victoria glared and stooped over so that they were face to face. "For each rule that gets broken, you'll lose a limb. How does that sound?"

Jazz started to laugh at some the shocked looks she was given by Decepticon and Autobot alike. Starscream's look of shock was knocked off by Skywarp crashing into him. "Skywarp!"

"My spark has been stolen!" Skywarp cried dramatically as he clung to his trine mate. "Never have I seen a femme like her."

"Your spark can't be stolen," Starscream argued as he attempted to detangle himself from the purple Seeker. "You're a Decepticon!"

"Decepticons break the rules all the time."

"Thundercracker, get him off of me!"

Victoria ignored the three jets as she went on to explain the rules. "From now on, the living room and kitchen are neutral territories. Attack anyone in those rooms and you lose a limb." She paused. "I'll forgive self-defense if you plead your case well. My bedroom is off limits to attacks at night."

"That's not fair!" Rumble spoke up from his hiding place behind Soundwave. "The Autobot base is here!"

"Which means they can't attack your base at night," she said, turning to the group of Autobots. "Got that?"

"We're not gonna be able to do _anything,_" Sunstreaker complained.

"No, that just means you have to battle in other places," she tried to explain. "The cabin is huge to someone of your size, and I've only restricted you from three rooms. You have the whole top floor, hallway, and you're even permitted to go outside if you want." Victoria stopped to sigh. "I know I can't expect you all to live in peace while you're here and acknowledge that there will be altercations, but this is the best solution to keep me from nursing anymore tiny wounds.

"I have the right to make up rules as I go," she continued, turning to address Optimus, since it was apparent that Megatron wasn't listening. "I don't know what you guys are capable of, no matter your size. If you do something that warrants a rule, it will be created and enforced with similar consequences."

"Fair enough," Optimus agreed with a nod. "Perhaps we can use this opportunity to learn how to better interact with your race."

Megatron scoffed as he attempted to climb down the book staircase. His little stature was making it difficult for him. "As I said before, the Decepticons agree to nothing."

"Fine by me," Victoria said as she watched the leader struggle. "If you lose a limb don't blame me. As far as I know, you'll have to come to Ratchet to get it fixed."

Megatron scoffed again as he decided to just jump off the edge of the books. He landed on two foot and looked mighty proud of it. "Decepticons, retreat!"

They filed out one by one—the Cassettes and Soundwave being the first and Skywarp the last as Thundercracker dragged him away. The Autobots, who had been silently watching, burst into a flurry of conversation the instant the suddenly love-struck jet had cleared the room.

"She brought them here!" Red Alert fussed. "This just supports my argument of not trusting her!"

"Red Alert," Ratchet said in exasperation. "She also just created neutral territory within the house. Albeit, we won't be able to appreciate it until she punishes a couple of Decepticons, she has at least given us some sort of reprieve that hasn't been seen since this war started."

"The odds of a Decepticon listening to her, even after punishment, are less than one percent," Prowl argued. "We should remain on our guard until proper defenses have been erected."

"Aw, come on, Prowl," Jazz said as he clapped a hand on the SIC's shoulder. "Ligh'en up a li'l! We got somethin' the 'Cons don't."

"Jazz," Mirage sighed. "It is not right to drag another into a war she has no reason to be in."

"But Ah bet Vicky'd be more than happy ta help!" Jazz said while turning to Victoria. "What d'ya say?"

Victoria shook her head. "I'm not helping anyone."

"Huh?" Bluestreak paused as he climbed up the books. "Why not?"

"I'm not choosing sides," she repeated. "From this point on, I'm neutral."

"She's going to betray us," Red Alert confided to Optimus. "I know it."

But Optimus was nodding. "Understandable. We will not drag a bystander into our war."

"Thank you," Victoria said sincerely even as some of the Autobots looked a little disgruntled at loosing what could have been a great asset. Surprisingly, Jazz wasn't one of them as he continued to grin up at her. "Oh yeah, I noticed Swoop wasn't around. Where'd he get off to?"

"Swoop here!" a distant cry answered her. "Me Swoop exploring like Wheeljack say!"

Wheeljack's fins lit up a bright blue as everyone turned to stare at him. "What? Swoop is as curious as I am about this place."

"Yeah, but where is he?" Victoria asked while walking towards where the voice had come from. "I don't see him anywhere."

"Me Swoop in here!" he cried again, and Victoria finally noticed that the lid of her suitcase was moving. "It dark."

She knelt down beside the bag and lifted the lid up. Swoop's head poked out from beneath her clothes. "More crowded here than Swoop thought."

"Swoop," she sighed and lowered her hand for him to get on. "What are you doing crawling around in my clothes?"

"Me Swoop curious," he said and climbed onto her offered hand. "Nothing else to do."

Victoria lowered him back onto the floor. "Then go explore the rest of the house. You might find something that I haven't."

Swoop seemed happy with the suggestion and transformed to fly out of the room before anyone could stop him. Though, his sudden exit didn't seem to bother the group as Red Alert continued to plead his case against Victoria. She knelt down beside the Twins, who were the only two not in the bookcase. "Has he been doing this all morning?"

"And night," Sunstreaker said, not even looking in that direction. "He hasn't shut up at all."

"Ratchet threatened him with one of his wrenches if he didn't keep his voice down," Sideswipe added as he played with a blue rubber band he had found. "This thing has such potential. What is it?"

"A rubber band," Victoria said and plucked it right from his hands. "And something I won't even give you the opportunity to use."

"You're no fun," Sideswipe said as he looked longingly at the piece of elastic she took from him. "How are we supposed to prank someone if we have no materials?"

"Keep them out of my sight," Victoria said simply as she played with the rubber band. "If I don't see it, it's not there."

The Twins looked at each other, and then at the bed before looking back up at her. She shrugged. "If I don't see it, _it's not there."_ The rubber band slipped from her fingers and went flying into the bookshelf to hit Prowl directly in-between his door-wings with amazing accuracy. Jazz, who had been facing their way, burst into laughter as Prowl turned to instinctively glare down at the Twins. "Likewise, if I don't see it happen, it didn't happen."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, who had both started laughing with Jazz, thought this was hilarious and laughed harder, even as Prowl came stomping down the staircase to punish/lecture them. Victoria looked back up at the bookshelf to see that Wheeljack had already claimed the rubber band and was showing it to an only slightly interested Ratchet and Ironhide and a very interested Bluestreak. Red Alert must have mistaken it as an attack because he looked ready to shoot someone if it wasn't for Optimus and Mirage holding him back.

The Twins were ducking back under the bed to escape Prowl when an excited Swoop came flying into the room. "Look what me Swoop find! Me find in sun!"

He bobbed up and down in front of Victoria's face to keep himself in the air with the object he had found weighing him down. It took a couple of bobs for her to finally realize the object he had. "Swoop, that's a chocolate chip cookie."

His wings paused, and he fell before starting them back up again. "What cookie and why it be in sun?"

She opened her mouth to ask what sun he had found before remembering that the kitchen had been painted a bright and sunny yellow. He must have somehow mistaken the color to be the real sun. "You didn't find that in the sun, Swoop; you found it in the kitchen."

"Oh," Swoop said, not at all bothered at being corrected as he finally settled down on the bed. "What cookie do?"

"It gives you a short burst of energy," Victoria said, thinking of all the sugar the cookie contained. "People usually eat them as snacks or when they don't want to eat something big. Kids love them."

A commotion under the bed caught her attention, and she didn't even notice Swoop shifting to his bipedal form to pick the cookie up as she knelt down to peek under the bed. "Swoop get energy if Swoop eat?"

Victoria snapped back up as she realized what the Dinobot was about to do. "No, Swoop don't-!"

Swoop had already bitten off a small chunk of the cookie and was chewing before she could get the rest out. She stared as the Dinobot went on chewing the cookie. "This isn't good."

"No, cookie good!" Swoop corrected, taking another big bite. "Swoop like."

"But Swoop probably shouldn't be eating it," Victoria said as she ran her eyes over the 'bot. "What if the cookie clogs something or…something?"

"Ratchet fix," Swoop said with confidence. "Ratchet good Autobot medic."

"Well, maybe you should hang around Ratchet for the next couple of hours."

Swoop shrugged and left his cookie on the bed as he jumped down and headed towards the bookshelf where Ratchet still stood beside Wheeljack. The Twins dashed out from beneath the bed and out the door as Prowl pulled out a whole bag of colorful rubber bands. He looked up at Victoria and said with the authority he had as second-in-command, "I am confiscating theses…_things._ The Twins are no longer allowed to have them."

Victoria held up her hands while turning to unpack her suitcase. "Hey, I have a policy of if I don't see it, it's not there."

Prowl scowled as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe laughed from the hallway. Apparently, they were still close enough to hear what conversations went on in the room. "We will see what policies you have when they prank you."

"Please," she said, separating her clothes into piles to put in the empty dresser. "They won't be able to prank me."

"That's what Prowl said," Jazz said as he walked up to join them. "Prowler's been on guard since the Twins were able ta get in his office ta switch up the schedules. Wasn't 'til Cliffjumper came ta complain 'bout his extra monitor duty that anyone noticed the Twins had _lots _o' free time." Jazz laughed at a memory. "Prowl's jus' lucky dey didn' leave 'im a surprise!"

Prowl's scowl became more pronounced as he turned to his friend. "I still believe you had something to do with that."

"Wha'?" Jazz said with such fake innocence that Victoria laughed. "Wha' makes ya think that?"

"They were not the only ones who suddenly had joors of free time."

Jazz just grinned and hopped up to sit on a pile of jeans. "In my defense, that's wha' the schedule said."

Instead of arguing with him, Prowl just shook his head and moved back towards the bookcase where Ratchet looked as if he was scolding Swoop. Victoria continued to move her clothes to their new location but had to stop when she found Jazz in the same spot on her jeans grinning up at her. "Sooo…wha' we gonna do taday?"

"_I _am going to continue cleaning out the attic," Victoria said while shooing Jazz off of the clothes. "_You_ may do whatever you want."

"Ya prob'ly gonna be chasin' the Decepticons 'round," Jazz said. "They don' like ta follow orders."

"They wouldn't purposely antagonize me." She paused in placing the last stack in the bottom drawer. "Would they?"

The answer came as the sounds of glass breaking, sirens eerily similar to the ones she heard last night, and a series of enraged voices (one of which she was able to distinguish as Sunstreaker's) from the direction of the living room. Ironhide, Ratchet, and Prowl were already on their way out the door as Jazz grinned up at her. "Oh yeah, the Decepticons like antagonizin' people."

Victoria groaned and stood up. Why did she get the sudden feeling that she wasn't going to get any work in the house done today?

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I couldn't resist including a Kreon and thought it would be hilarious for it to be Megatron who got trapped in the Kreon body, which reminds me, **[I went back and fixed my booboo thanks to **_janit3443 __._**Kreons are not Lego; you learn something new everyday****...but Victoria doesn't know that :) Maybe she'll learn later.] **I know this will come up, so I'll go ahead and get it out there: Skywarp is not "in love" with Victoria. He was just being annoying, as I have seen him depicted in other fanfics. And yes, Victoria will give the Decepticons reasons enough to fear her to a certain degree and stay out of her way (think of it as the reverse of what you normally find in Transformers: the human is now the one who is fifty stories tall and can squish the tiny robots). Anyway, I just thought I'd point that out before anybody got the wrong idea. And apparently I have to give "props" to my sister for giving me the idea on how to end the chapter. She wanted Swoop to get a cookie from the sun…I have no idea why.

Anyway here's the "glossary" for this chapter:

_Spark- heart  
><em>_Groundpounder- an insult used for Transformers who have wheeled alt-modes  
><em>_Aft- Transformer word for ass (now you can insult friends without them knowing as you have learned all the common Transformer "curse words")  
><em>_Trine- group of three Seekers who work together  
><em>_Joor- ~1 hour  
><em>_Glitch-head- insult (__**thank you **__**speedmetal**__** and **__**Autobot-Bre**__)  
><em>_Cloudhugger- insult used for flying mechs (__**thanks again to **__**Autobot-Bre**__**, and since it had "cloud" in the word, I thought that it would only apply to the jets ;)**__)_

Until next Monday :)

**EDITED: 1/5/14 (Major grammar/missing words fixed)**


	5. Shopping with 'Bots

**AN: **I'm surprised by the positive reception this story is getting. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/alerted/favorited. I should have started off in the Transformers fandom instead of Naruto :)

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Four

Shopping with 'Bots

* * *

><p><strong>Day 3<strong>

Both Jazz and Victoria's hypothesizes had been correct: Victoria wasn't even able to look in the direction of the attic, or anything else really, and the Decepticons raised hell throughout the house. The first incident had been between Barricade and Sunstreaker and had ended when Victoria went through with her earlier threat. Sunstreaker had been treated on the scene by Ratchet (though he also got a couple of bumps on the head via the Hatchet's wrench) while Barricade had slumped back to the Decepticon base to likely be ridiculed.

That wasn't the last of it. Oh no, Rumble and Frenzy had quickly gotten over their fear of her and wreaked havoc with the other two Cassettes. She was never able to catch the little buggers, and even if she had, she wouldn't have been able to do anything. They never broke her new rules because every place they attacked (or "pranked" as Sideswipe insisted when he saw the damages) was in the rooms where anyone was free game. The twin Cassettes would do their thing while Ravage and Laserbeak would act as look outs, and all of them hauled butt whenever she got near thanks to the early warnings.

But one of the worse perpetrators would have been Skywarp. He may have been "love-struck" but that didn't make him a saint. Victoria never saw it, but apparently, he had shoved some of the Autobots down the staircase. However, she did see the end results of Ironhide shooting the jet as it manically giggled above him and Mirage sitting on the last step with his helm in his hands. Whether it was from shame or annoyance, she didn't bother to ask. Skywarp especially liked to fly around her head whenever they encountered each other, which he made sure was often, and drove her half mad whenever he ducked out of the way of her swats.

Skywarp's activities had only avoided being _the_ worst because of the event that took place after dark. Victoria had warned that there would be _no fighting_ in her room when she was asleep. But did the Decepticons listen? Of course not! Which was why Barricade had lost his other arm, Bonecrusher had lost a leg and the third limb that protruded from his back, Skywarp had had an intimate meeting with the wall, and the Cassette twins had once again been reminded of Soundwave. The Autobots had only escaped punishment by staying in their bookcase, watching the fanatical tirade with bright optics.

The worst part of all of this was that all of that had occurred in only _one _day. After dealing with the Decepticons for a final time, Victoria had inwardly panicked about what the rest of her time in the cabin would be like. Was she going to be able to get _anything_ done in the time she had? Needless to say, Victoria wasn't in that great of the mood the next day but was fortunately able to restrain it when Swoop woke her up.

"Swoop," she groaned as the Dinobot nudged her nose. He poked it a few more times before the woman's eyes actually opened. "What are you doing?"

"Me Swoop waking you Victoria up," Swoop explained and moved on to poke her cheek. "No more loud noises."

"Why so early?" she mumbled and threw the blankets over her head.

Swoop was not fazed by the act as he simply picked up the edge to peek in at her. "Same time as day before."

Giving up, Victoria sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. How much sleep had she managed to get in the past two days? At this rate, she was going to have to take power naps during the day just to keep going! "You can let me sleep in a little, okay?"

"'Kay!" Swoop said, and he hopped off of the bed now that his job was complete. "Me Swoop no wake up as early."

As soon as Swoop was a good distance away, Victoria fell back onto the bed with bounce. There was a yell from her right, and she looked over to see that her bounce had flung Bluestreak off of the pillow he had been laying on and face down into the mattress. "Bluestreak, I'm so sorry! I forgot you were there."

Bluestreak laughed as he picked himself up. "It's okay. It was actually kinda fun! We should find a way to replicate it. Oh! And get Sunny and Sides up here. They'll probably think it's fun too. But Prowl will probably tell us to stop. Did anyone tell you the time the Twins made this catapult that could fling a Mini-Bot fifty clicks into the air? Unfortunately, the catapult could only support the weight of the Mini-Bots so only they could enjoy it. Until Prowl came along and shut it down and threw Sides and Sunny into the brig for even constructing it, claiming that it was a safety hazard that would have short-circuited Red Alert. Maybe they can remake it here…"

Bluestreak went on with the possibilities of his friends remaking a catapult, his voice unintentionally sending Victoria back to the edge of sleep. That is, until Swoop decided to come back and make sure she was really awake by dropping a cookie on her head.

"Swoop!" she complained after the cookie slapped against her check and bounced off to land beside Bluestreak. "What was that for?"

"Energy!" Swoop yelled back as he flew from the room. Victoria groaned while Bluestreak laughed and picked the cookie up.

"Swoop's the friendliest of all the Dinobots," Bluestreak chattered on as Victoria finally dragged herself out of bed. "The rest of them are pretty arrogant and unfriendly. Grimlock's always trying to take Optimus' place as leader."

"Really?" Victoria said as she took the cookie he offered and placed it on the nightstand. With all these cookies that were being brought to her room, there was going to be a mound of crumbs on her bed in no time."Has he ever succeeded?"

Bluestreak shook his head. "Of course not, and even if he did, I doubt anyone would follow him. Wheeljack didn't give them much intelligence when he created them. They all have about the same IQ as Swoop. Though, they are pretty good in battle if you can avoid getting in their way."

Victoria lowered her hand, and Bluestreak immediately jumped on to be boosted to her shoulder. He sat there, his door-wings wiggling and slightly rubbing against her cheek. She had only taken two steps before he was talking again.

"Swoop also likes to help out Wheeljack and Ratchet. He's sort of the Dinobot medic now, since the Dinobots don't really like anyone else. Well, they'll listen to Wheeljack and Ratchet, but those two are pretty much the only exception. They hate the Twins though because they made Grimlock pink. Prowl wouldn't admit it out loud, but I bet even he was impressed that they managed to do that without becoming scrap. Jazz thought it was hilarious even as he tried to calm Grimlock down. I guess in a way, they kinda listen to Jazz too, but that's not usually as often as Wheeljack and Ratchet. Everyone else they either hate, avoid, or try to eat."

"You sure like to talk, don't you?" Victoria observed as Bluestreak had not stopped talking since they left the bedroom.

"Sure! It's the best way to get rid of awkward silences and get to know other people. Besides, no one seems to mind, or at least no one's ever told me to outright shut up. So I just keep going. What about you, do you like to talk?"

"Not very much."

"I guess that was kinda obvious. You haven't really talked much to us unless you're yelling at someone, but that seems to be mostly at the Decepticons. You have a very loud voice by the way; it carries really far. But other than that, you sorta remind me of Prowl."

"Really?" she asked in surprise while sidestepping the Twins as they ran down the hallway back in the direction of the room. Ratchet appeared around the corner to the living room and took off after them, a wrench in his hand and an expletive on his tongue.

"Yeah, Prowl doesn't talk much unless he has to," Bluestreak continued once the trio had passed and Victoria was turning into the kitchen. "But he's really smart and doesn't hesitate to deal out punishments. A lot of people complain about him being too up-tight, but I think he's awesome."

While he was talking, Victoria had stopped in front of the coffee maker and had started to put in the water needed to make a mug of coffee. Once finished, she began to measure out the coffee grinds. "How come?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Bluestreak said. His entire demeanor changed in that one simple statement—his shoulders hunched over; his door-wings fell from their high position; and his young, happy-go-lucky voice dropped an octave to portray a mech that was far older than he appeared. "He just is."

Sensing the topic as being off-limits, Victoria finished with the coffee grinds and turned the machine on. "Okay, whatever you say. What are the others like?"

Bluestreak seized the new topic and took off as they waited for the coffee to finish. Bluestreak was very enthusiastic as he retold stories of Ratchet's wrenches; the various pranks Sideswipe and Sunstreaker partook in; the outlandish parties that Jazz and another Autobot by the name of Blaster liked to throw; and the false alarms set off by Red Alert, which weren't nearly as many as Victoria would have guessed. He was just getting to Wheeljack when the coffee maker suddenly sparked and turned off with only half a pot of coffee made. Victoria flicked the switch on and off in an attempt to make it work again.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Bluestreak asked, suddenly cutting off from his story. "It doesn't look like it. What happened?"

"I don't know," she said, turning it around to see if anything was out of place. "It worked just fine yesterday…"

She trailed off as the top suddenly flew off, spewing coffee grinds onto her. Bluestreak yelped and hid behind the curtain of her black hair. Victoria just froze as the black stuff slowly slid down her neck and under her shirt. "What the heck was that?"

"Looks like Wheeljack got to it," Bluestreak said meekly, peeking out from behind his hiding spot before ducking back behind it when the machine started to hop around in circles. "It could have been worse."

"Oh really?" she said between gritted teeth, and her mind focused solely on the engineer who caused this.

"Yeah, it could have completely exploded!"

Victoria yanked the power cord from the wall with more aggression than she probably should have, and the hopping machine immediately stilled. "I need to have a little chat with Wheeljack."

"You can try, but he'll keep tampering with things. Not even Ratchet has been able to make him stop, and he's known him the longest."

She picked the little Transformer off her shoulder with little preamble and placed him on the floor. "I need you to go tell Optimus or Prowl that I'm going into town today."

"How come?" the sharpshooter couldn't help but ask. His door-wings twitched when the human roughly shoved the coffeemaker back against the wall.

"I need to get some things. And I need a break from you Transformers." She said the last part under her breathe because she didn't want him to hear. It wasn't the little talkative mech's fault that she was in a poor mood and taking it out on him wouldn't be fair in any way. To her knowledge, Bluestreak was one the best behaved toys she had running around here. "I'm going to go and clean myself up before leaving."

Victoria walked out of the room and left Bluestreak to find Optimus or Prowl, which Bluestreak did with little more insistence. The first one to be found happened to be Prowl as he lectured the Twins with a glowering Ratchet beside him.

"The next time you two lock a fellow Autobot in the cabinet, you will receive more than just a warning," Prowl concluded, and Bluestreak had to wonder how they managed to lock Ratchet in a cabinet.

"We honestly didn't know the door would lock when it closed," Sideswipe repeated. The front-liner shifted from one foot to another as the boredom for the situation clearly showed. Bluestreak could see that his friend was eager to venture off to the next big thing, but Prowl's prevention of that from happening didn't make him a very happy camper.

"Which is why only a warning is being given. No one knew it would happen, and no one was hurt in the process." Ratchet scoffed, but Prowl continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Next time you will not have that excuse."

The officer stared at them and allowed his words to sink in before abruptly dismissing them and turning to Bluestreak. "What do you need, Bluestreak?"

Bluestreak stumbled as he hadn't thought that Prowl knew he was there. He should have learned by now that Prowl was just as aware of his surroundings as any other well trained Autobot. "Uh, oh yeah! Victoria said she was going into town to get some things."

He didn't bother to mention that it was also an excuse to escape them. Not that he could blame her. If he had a bunch of tiny organics running around wreaking havoc, he would want to escape for a while too.

Prowl nodded. "Alright, I will inform Optimus."

He left with Ratchet, who gave the Twins a final glare before following. The two mechs waited until the officers had turned the corner into the kitchen before Sideswipe flocked to Bluestreak's side, and Sunstreaker trailed after his brother at a more subdued pace.

"Where's she going?" Sideswipe asked with interest.

Bluestreak could only shrug. "Don't know. She just said she was going into town."

"This place is boring," Sunstreaker grumbled before turning to walk down the hallway in the direction of the door. Sideswipe followed his twin, and Bluestreak tagged along after a moment of hesitation. "I'm getting out of here."

"How?" Bluestreak asked as they reached the front door. "She isn't gonna take you because she's not in the best of moods right now. Wheeljack messed with something he shouldn't have; not that _that's_ anything new to us."

"So we'll just hitchhike," Sideswipe said, warming up to the idea. He looked around and pointed at the bag hanging from the coat stand. "There we go!"

"How do you know she's gonna take that?" Bluestreak questioned again even as the Twins started to climb up to it.

"It's by the door for a reason, Blue," Sideswipe said while tumbling in. He pulled his brother in with him, and they stared over the edge down at him. "You coming?"

Bluestreak nervously shuffled before giving in and climbing into the bag with them. "Victoria is going to be mad at us…"

"She'll get over it," Sideswipe reassured him. "No one can stay mad at you for long."

"Yeah, they say you're too cute or something," Sunstreaker added. "I don't see it."

Bluestreak just laughed at his disgruntlement, and they settled down to wait.

**[~]**

Victoria felt refreshed as she stepped out of the bathroom, steam from the hot water escaping the small room with her. Of course as soon she left the room, her eye began to twitch as a certain _jet_ began to fly around her head. "Wha'cha doing?"

"Skywarp, I am not in the mood," she growled and swatted at him. He chuckled as he performed rolls and loops to avoid her waving hand. Victoria simply sighed and walked into the bedroom without saying another word.

"Hey!" Skywarp cried out as he flew behind her. "Don't ignore me!"

Victoria quickly twisted around, and her hand finally managed to clip his wing. Skywarp gave a startled cry as he spiraled out of control and crashed into the floor. "I told you I wasn't in the mood."

Her only reply was the stutter of an engine and, surprisingly, the sound of applause. She turned to see that Mirage and Red Alert were the only two in their bookshelf of a "base" and that Mirage was the one clapping as Red Alert stared down at the jet in surprise. Victoria played along with the applause and gave a dramatic bow, her head almost touching the floor. "Thank you. I would like to dedicate my performance to Wheeljack for if it were not for him, I would not have been mad enough to do that."

Mirage gave her a small smile and returned to the small pile of things that the Autobots had managed to collect, like the bag of rubber bands Prowl had confiscated and the batteries that Wheeljack had given his word that they would only be used to power his teleportation device when he found the right materials to make it. Red Alert looked back and forth from the jet to the human before turning away with a frown. The Security Director's frowns barely bothered her anymore, and Victoria quickly left the room after slipping on a pair of sneakers.

The crashing of Skywarp put a new pep in her step, and she almost didn't see Optimus and Ironhide passing her. "What're you so happy about?"

She smiled down at the Weapons Specialist. "I just made Skywarp crash."

"Well that would make anybody happy," Ironhide said with a chuckle while Optimus just shook his head at the two.

"Has Bluestreak talked to you yet, Optimus?"

"No," he replied, sounding like the wise leader he was with just one word. "But Prowl has informed me of your leaving. Good luck in your search."

"Thank you very much," she said with a smile. It was a smile that quickly fell when she heard a crash from the living room and the familiar snickers of the Cassettes known as Rumble and Frenzy. "Looks like I have to de-limb some more Decepticons before I leave."

"Perhaps we couldfind a way to extend the area in which they are allowed to explore," Optimus offered her as a second solution. "Though you have only limited our activities in two rooms, a trip to the second floor is a long one even for a Cybertronian of normal size. It is my belief that the Cassettes have an even more difficult time, restricting them to the first floor."

Victoria was nodding even before he finished. "You're right. I should have thought of that. Going up and down the stairs isn't difficult to me, but I can't imagine it being the same when you're five inches tall."

"It aint that big of a deal," Ironhide stated with an air of pride.

"But I have the perfect solution," she said and walked in to the living room. She paused to see that the crash had been caused by a vase being knocked over, and the two responsible for it were standing not too far away. Wheeljack also happened to be in the vicinity and the little Decepticons wasted no time placing the blame on him. She kicked the bigger pieces of glass aside and passed them to reach the sliding door that looked out to the cabin's back yard. "I don't care who broke it. I'm just here to get you out of the house."

Victoria slid the door open and pointed at the porch. "Anyone can go outside and do whatever they want as long as it doesn't cause any damage to the place. Like a fire."

Rumble and Frenzy shared a look and shrugged. "Beats being locked up in here." They ran out the door to hover near the edge of the large porch.

"So, we can do anything?" Wheeljack asked as he too walked towards the door. Victoria placed a foot in front of him, and he looked up with an innocent flash of his vocal fins. "What?"

"You have to fix the coffee maker before you do anything else." The woman pointed into the kitchen where the appliance could be seen with messy coffee grounds still stuck to it from the earlier incident. "It better make coffee when I get back."

The engineer shrugged and reset his course. "A minor fix, nothing more. I lost interest in it before doing anything that would be deemed fanatical."

"I deemed it fanatical when the thing started to dance on its own," she argued but only received another shrug in reply. "Everyone, be forewarned that if I come back to a destroyed home, two groups of Transformers will be looking for a new home."

Jazz, who was standing on the coffee table and changing channels on the TV by pressing a button on the controller with his foot, turned to grin and wave at her. "Ah'll get da warnin' out. Have fun!"

Victoria left the room as he landed on a channel airing music videos and passed a disgruntled Ratchet, who didn't even stop to acknowledge her, and Prowl, who just nodded as he passed. Wasting little time, she grabbed the keys to the rental car and her bag and was out the door before anyone or anything could stop her.

Victoria made her way down the steps and tossed her bag into the car before sliding in herself. She sat there for a moment before releasing a sigh. She was beginning to realize that sighing might be a very common thing in the days ahead. "Some of my co-workers said I needed a vacation, and what do I get? A house full of alien robots that seem intent on driving me crazy. If I'm not already crazy."

The young adult cranked the car up and threw it into reverse to head into town.

**[~]**

The little town Victoria's brother had moved to wasn't exactly little, but it wasn't big either. The majority of the businesses it boasted were little mom-and-pop shops, one grocery, a few fast food chain restaurants, and a mall that contained about five different shops and lots of open space. It was more of a town that had the potential to become big if anyone learned it was there.

Victoria's first stop was the small grocery as it seemed like her bachelor brother had ate out a lot if the empty pantries were to suggest anything. As unexciting as shopping for food was, Victoria was grateful for the reprieve it provided. One half of her mind may have acknowledged the fact that the Autobots and Decepticons were no longer toys, but the other, perhaps the _logical_ side of her brain, still insisted that she had completely lost her mind and should seek professional help immediately. Comparing prices on two brands of the same mac'-and-cheese allowed that side to let up on the accusations of craziness.

"This place is even more boring! We should have just stayed in the house."

"It was _your _idea!"

"Yeah, well, you could have stopped me!"

"Sunstreaker, not even Unicron could stop you when you have an idea."

The sound of laughter confirmed a third presence as she spun around with the boxes of noodles and cheese. "Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Bluestreak! What are you three doing here?"

Bluestreak was the only one who looked even vaguely guilty as the pranking duo of the Autobots climbed out of the bag she had left in the seat of the buggy. "We were bored in that cramped house of yours."

"That's why I opened the back door to let you guys out!" Victoria tossed one of the boxes into the buggy without looking at it and focused on the yellow and red twins. "What possessed you to stowaway in my bag?"

"Sunstreaker," Sideswipe said, earning a glare from his brother.

"We're really sorry, Victoria," Bluestreak said as he too tumbled out of the bag. He clung to the bars of the shopping cart and looked up at her with bright blue optics. "We just wanted to get out of the house—not to upset you."

Victoria stared down at his guilty optics and drooping door-wings before letting out a sigh. Puppy dog eyes from a robot—why was she even vaguely surprised to find out that the sharpshooter was capable of such a thing? "You guys need to get back in the bag before you're seen."

Bluestreak's door-wings slightly perked up as he realized that his host's anger had vanished. Sideswipe nudged his arm as they climbed back into the bag. "See? We told ya."

Sunstreaker scoffed. "I still don't get it."

Victoria waited until they were comfortably seated and pushed the buggy onwards to the next item on her mental checklist. "If you guys wanted out of the house, why didn't you just go into the backyard after I opened the back door?"

"We were already in the bag," Sideswipe said with a shrug she couldn't see. "Didn't see any reason to get back out."

She hummed in disbelief and swung the buggy around the end of the aisle hard enough to send Sunstreaker and Sideswipe into each other. Bluestreak avoided the collision by grabbing onto the pocket in front of him. "You didn't know I opened the back door."

"That too," the red Autobot conceded as Sunstreaker threw him off. "So, what are we doing?"

"You're staying in the bag while I shop for food," she said as she stopped to pick out a few cans of vegetables.

"She's still angry with us," Sunstreaker said, picking up on her tone. "Bluestreak, do your cute thing and make her un-mad again."

Bluestreak shook his head and kept his mouth firmly closed. Sunstreaker glared and turned back to Victoria. "Those don't look like what Swoop had yesterday."

"Of course not," she snapped. "Cookies are junk. These are actually healthy on some level."

"Don't snap at me!" Sunstreaker snapped back as his temper was ignited. "If you're mad just say it!"

Victoria glared down at him, watching Sideswipe slap his helm at his brother's attitude and Bluestreak attempting to blend into the miscellaneous junk in her shoulder bag. "Alright, I'm mad! This whole little trip was meant to get away from _you_, and instead I have three of the very things I was planning on avoiding today tagging along with me! What's worse is that it's you and your brother, and even though I've only known you for two days, I've been told enough to know that you two are the most troublesome of the group. So now I have to worry about whatever you two cook up. Do me this one little favor: shut up so I can at least pretend you're not here!"

Surprisingly, neither of the Twins said anything back, and instead they opted to do exactly as she said. They ducked back into the bag to settle down beside Bluestreak, who had slowly shrunk down during her speech, and remained quiet, the light from his optics shining against her things as he refused to look up.

Victoria took a deep breath to calm down and straightened back up. She froze when she saw an elderly woman staring at her with big eyes and gaping mouth. She glared. "I am not crazy!"

With that, Victoria swung the buggy around and left the old woman to blink after her.

**[~]**

Meanwhile, back at the cabin, all was not sunshine and rainbows. Surely, when Victoria opened up the back porch and the wonders beyond, she didn't mean for a new territory feud to be ignited.

"This belongs to Decepticons," Rumble exclaimed as he and his brother relaxed in a fold out chair. "No Autobots allowed! Especially you, old geezer."

"What'd you call me?" Ironhide growled as he waved his fist at the obnoxious twins.

Frenzy threw one of the many cookies they had stolen from the kitchen at him. "Old geezer!"

Ratchet picked up the throw away cookie and examined it as Ironhide threatened the Decepticons. "I don't see how humans get energy from this. But Swoop's systems were somehow able to break down what little he consumed." Ratchet paused to look up at the pterodactyl flying around in erratic circles above their heads. "And he hasn't stopped since."

"Maybe it's because this dimension has no Energon," Wheeljack suggested as he, Jazz, and Prowl joined them on the porch. "But to keep going, these bodies need to find _some _type of energy to use. I still like the theory that these aren't really our bodies."

"What?" Prowl voiced. He stopped and turned a critical optic to the engineer."When was this established?"

"Oh yeah, we talked about this after you crashed the first night."

"But no one established anything," Ratchet finished, hoping to keep Prowl's processor from crashing. "It's just one of Wheeljack's theories."

"Theory or not, I believe it," Wheeljack said as he jumped down the porch steps. "If you need me, I will be getting into something I probably shouldn't!"

Ratchet and Prowl simultaneously frowned as Jazz grinned. "'Least he's honest 'bout it."

"Slaggin' Decepticons," Ironhide grumbled, bringing Ratchet and Prowl's attention back to him while Jazz ran after Wheeljack. "Stuck-up fraggers think they own the place!" He didn't see that the Cassettes were currently making faces and mimicking his angry gestures behind his back, but if he had, it wouldn't have improved his mood.

"That's right Auto-scum!" Frenzy taunted with a wave of his fist. "Go back to ya dusty shelf!"

"That's it!" Ironhide twirled around and had his gun charged and pointed at the blue twin.

"Ironhide!"

The Weapons Specialist lowered his weapon and turned to see Optimus coming through the sliding door "Try not to start anything. We walk a very fine line with our host as it is."

Ironhide frowned and sub-spaced his gun while ignoring the taunts of the smaller Cassettes. "You think she'd really throw us out?"

"From our experience, she takes her threat very seriously," Optimus said, turning to Rumble and Frenzy. "You should heed this warning and not take our host's generosity for granted."

They scoffed down at him. "Whatever, she can't do nothing to us."

"I am sure that is what Barricade and Bonecrusher believed."

"By the way, how are they?" Ratchet asked with clinical interest. "Have their arms been reattached?"

"What do you care?" Rumble asked as he resettled on the chair.

"I don't," Ratchet replied as he turned away. "I was just asking."

"Whatever," Frenzy shouted as he too went back to lounging. "Take your Autobot sympathy and shove it up your-"

"Frenzy."

Frenzy shut his mouth as Soundwave stepped out behind the Prime. Soundwave walked past the group of Autobots and joined his Cassettes on the chair. "Taunting: Inadvisable."

"How come?" Rumble grumbled a little put off.

"Outnumbered."

Skywarp flew through the door and almost crashed into Swoop. "Freedom!" The cackling jet was soon joined by two more and the non-flying Transformers watched as the three did laps around the yard, stirring up the brown organic matter that fell freely from the tall structures that surrounded the cabin.

"There goes the peace," Ratchet said, throwing his arms up and walking to the other side of the porch. "Trust the Decepticons to ruin everything."

Optimus stopped Prowl as they moved to join what was now the Autobot side of the porch. "Prowl, have you seen Bluestreak, Sideswipe, or Sunstreaker?"

"Not since I gave the Twins their warning," Prowl confessed. "That was also the last time I saw Bluestreak."

Optimus sighed. "They have been missing since Victoria left." He saw Prowl frown. "I am sure the same thought has just occurred to you."

"They snuck out with her."

Optimus nodded as Rumble and Frenzy's taunts and name calling started back up behind them. Soundwave must have been too preoccupied releasing his other Cassettes to chastise them. "I fear that Wheeljack may need to reconstruct his device sooner than planned."

Prowl understood the implication and sighed as they joined Ironhide and Ratchet. The Twins may have very well caused them to lose the only place they had to stay in this dimension.

**[~]**

Victoria sighed as she got into the car after loading the trunk with her groceries. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe crawled out of the bag to stand on the middle console and tried to figure out what all the controls were from afar. She had to admit that they had been surprisingly well behaved. After her quick snap of anger, they had stayed inside her pocketbook, their voices too muffled for anyone to hear. That didn't convince her of their sainthood though. "Don't touch anything."

"Whatever," Sunstreaker mumbled, and Sideswipe nodded without saying a word.

Victoria stared down at them before turning to start up the car. They left the parking lot and headed in the direction of their next destination. "I have one more place to go before we head back."

They nodded again, and she finally sighed. "You can talk now."

"Nah, we don't want you blowing up on us again," Sideswipe said with a smile, and Victoria figured he was trying to make it into some kind of joke. Neither she nor Sunstreaker found it very funny.

Victoria sighed again as she spotted the mall coming into sight. "I'm sorry that I said those things, and I didn't mean them."

"Yes you did," Sunstreaker interrupted, earning a glare. "What? That was probably the most truthful you've been since we met you."

She frowned as she realized he was correct. "But I shouldn't have said that."

"Please," he saidwhile placing his hands on his hips. "Best to say the truth than cover it up with fancy words and sayings until you can't see it anymore."

"Well aren't you insightful?"

"I'm good-looking _and _smart—that's a two-for-one deal there."

This earned him a laugh as Victoria finally let go of the anger she had held onto since the incident with the coffeemaker that morning. "You guys are actually funny."

"Now, why do you sound so surprised?" Sideswipe asked while climbing over the gear shift to get closer to the buttons on the radio. Sunstreaker followed him at a more subdued pace until they stood together again. "What do these do?"

"Suck you into a new dimension where pigs fly and these huge metal eating monsters devour poor Autobots who refuse to listen to their superiors." She smirked as Sideswipe took a step back while Sunstreaker scowled up at her, knowing she was lying. "They just turn on the radio."

"Oh." Sideswipe paused. "What are pigs?"

"I'll give you a lesson on farm animals when we get back," Victoria compromised and nudged them in the direction of her bag. They clambered back in, and it was then that she realized that Bluestreak was still sitting in the bag, hunched over her emergency pack of minty gum. "What's wrong, Bluestreak?"

The sharpshooter looked up at her with dull optics and drooping wings. "Are you still mad at us?"

Victoria frowned as she realized that his recent bout of silence had been her fault. "No, and I'm sorry that I yelled at you. Honestly, I was never mad at you."

His optics brightened, and his door-wings perked back up. "Okay! So what are we doing here? Are we getting more fuel for you? Because I think you got enough at the other place."

"No," she said, smiling as the talkative mech started warming up. She pulled the rental car into one of the parking spots right in front of the mall entrance and reached over to grab her bag. "I have to buy some clothes that would be more practical up in the mountains. Right now, I only have short-sleeved shirts and jeans, and those aren't keeping me very warm."

"Ah," Bluestreak said in understanding as Victoria stepped out of the car. "So that's why you wear those strange outer coverings—to keep you warm? Red Alert said you were hiding your true self."

"Of course Red Alert would say that," she mumbled while walking through the parking lot. "Humans don't have much to protect them from the weather and most of us feel awkward walking around naked."

"That's just stupid." Victoria barely heard Sunstreaker's voice as she tried to avoid a car backing out of a parking space. "You don't even look good in them."

"Excuse me?" Victoria said in offense. "What did you say?"

"The colors make you look fat!" Sunstreaker yelled loud enough for her to hear and earned himself a flick to the head. "Stop that!"

"Shut up," she hissed while walking through the doors of the mall. "I look like I'm talking to myself."

"So?"

"People will think that I'm crazy!"

"You can't blame us for an ailment you already had!"

Victoria shoved the yellow front-liner back into the bag and started in the direction of the first clothing store she spotted. The store had about the same amount of business as the grocery, so Victoria didn't have to worry about attracting any unwanted attention when Sunstreaker poked his head out to criticize her some more.

"Not that one!"

She sighed while fingering the green sweater. "And why not, Miss Fashionista?"

"The color is horrid," he said, eyeing the ugly thing and not even realizing he was being made fun of. "You're not wearing that thing around me."

"Since when do you decide what I wear?"

"I know that no one can be as good-looking as me, but I refuse to let ugly things around me. That _thing_ is ugly."

Victoria fingered the green sweater some more before taking the hanger off the rack. "I'm buying it."

Sunstreaker growled while Sideswipe and Bluestreak laughed in the bag. She draped the shirt over her arm and moved on to the next rack with the intent of picking out another color the superior Sunstreaker disagreed with. A loud squeal from behind caused her to jump, and Victoria flinched away from the sudden appearance of arms wrapping around her. "Oh my Gawd!"

She was spun around to see a smiling red-head her age, with twinkling green eyes and a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. "Vicky! Is that really you? It's been so long since we saw each other. The horrors of Mrs. Owens' Senior English class will stay with you forever!"

"Yeah," Victoria said slowly, only vaguely remembering a similar looking teenager that she would team up with for group projects. She had always been under the impression that the odds of seeing people from high school seven years down the road was next to nothing. "It has been a while…"

"Tell me about it!" the woman said with an exaggerated wave of her hand. She pushed Victoria away and held her at an arm's distance while looking her up and down. "I tell you what, seven years has been good to you girl! Your hair's longer and as shiny as ever; you lost those few stubborn pounds and are skinny as a beanpole, but have the extra assets that'll most definitely keep you from being mistaken for a boy; and your skin's as pretty and clear as ever! Now I'm just feeling downright jealous."

Victoria stared at the woman in shock. What kind of person just said those types of things out loud? And how was someone supposed to respond to that? "Um…"

"I definitely don't look like my eighteen year old self," she continued with a small laugh. "Gained a few pounds after the first pregnancy and haven't been able to get rid of them since!"

"You have kids?" Victoria asked in surprise, forgetting that she barely knew the woman. Those dreaded memories of high school were slowly starting to resurface. "You always said you were going to be a lawyer. I didn't think you would have kids before that."

"Please," the red-head said good naturally, "you and I both know I would make a horrible lawyer! No, I went with the second plan and am now the proud owner of a little bakery here in town. You should pay a visit sometime—meet the kids and hubby." She waved, as if dismissing the subject. "But enough about me, you have that high-paying job you always wanted?"

Victoria was fortunately saved from answering the question by two little boys running up and clinging to the other woman's legs. "Mommy! Tommy shoved me into the clothes."

"Nu uh, he's lying!"

She laughed and patted the two boys on the head. "Well, lookie here. I guess you'll get to meet them sooner than I thought. This is Tommy." She pointed at the older boy with dark brown hair but the same freckles as her. "And this is Flint." She patted the top of the younger boy's red hair. "Say hi to Miss Vicky!"

They shyly did as their mother told them, and Victoria meekly returned their greetings. "So, what are you doing up here? Vacation?"

"You could say that," Victoria said, not wishing to go in to detail. "I didn't realize how much colder Tennessee would be from Florida."

"You live down in Florida?" Victoria nodded. "Oh, it must feel like paradise during the winter."

"Hot all year," she answered with distaste.

"Mommy," Flint whined as he tugged on her shirt. "I wanna go home!"

"Me too!"

"Well, I guess I better get going," the mother said while the two boys clung to her. "They don't like to shop very much. It's why I'm grateful my last one was a girl!"

"Oh," Victoria said. She was suddenly feeling like a shopping trip hadn't been the best idea. "So you have three?"

"Sure do, and they're a handful." She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocketbook. "Here, this is the bakery I run. You should come in some time, so we can chat, talk about the old days, you know fun stuff like that!" She gave Victoria a wave after releasing the paper in her hand. "See you some other time."

Victoria watched her walk away with an inexplicable sense of envy. She couldn't remember the woman's name, but she had finally remembered who she was. The teenager Victoria had known hadn't been as carefree as she appeared now and was the only one besides Victoria who took her classes seriously and had a detailed plan beyond high school. She hadn't even come close to fulfilling that plan, but she was still happy. Meanwhile, Victoria had managed to follow her plans to a T, and here she was—miserable and losing her mind.

"Who was that?" Bluestreak asked, poking the top half of his body out of the bag. He reached up and tugged on the bottom of Victoria's shirt to gain her attention. "Did you know her? She seemed nice. And who were the two mechs that joined her? Are they like younglings? They look too big to be sparklings. Was she one of their creators?"

"She was a squishy version of Bluestreak," Sideswipe said as he joined the talkative 'bot. "I thought you organics had to _breathe_ between sentences."

"She was just someone I went to school with," Victoria answered Bluestreak while ignoring Sideswipe's comment. "She looks a lot happier than she used to be."

"You must have always been grumpy looking," Sunstreaker observed. He huddled up against the side of her bag, still in a grouchy mood over the sweater. "She recognized you from behind. You should have smiled at her; I bet she would have thought she had the wrong person."

Victoria didn't even look down at him as she reached out to the rack of clothes in front of her. "I'm getting two of these sweaters."

"No, they're ugly!"

The woman ignored him as she wrapped up her shopping trip. She was more than ready to return to the cabin.

**[~]**

"How come you looked sad when that femme's younglings showed up?"

Victoria looked down at where Bluestreak was sitting on top of the steering wheel, looking up at her with honest curiosity. She had discovered throughout the day that Bluestreak was a very curious mech, and it made her grateful that he didn't practice his nosiness in the same way Wheeljack did. "I wasn't sad."

"You looked like it," he insisted, holding on as she turned the wheel. Bluestreak waited until he was upright again to continue. "You had a kinda far off look too. It's kind of the same look Ratchet gets those rare times he has to treat a youngling or the _really_ young Autobots."

Victoria looked down at the sharpshooter as the car bumped down the drive towards the secluded cabin. "I don't want to talk about it."

Bluestreak nodded and let it go like she had with him that morning. Both had unconsciously come to a mutual agreement—she wouldn't hound him for the reason why he liked Prowl while others didn't, and he wouldn't bug her about today. And both of them could be happy with that.

"Primus, I cannot believe she bought all of these, these…_things!_ Their colors clash terribly. They don't even match with what she has now!"

Victoria looked over her shoulder to see Sunstreaker going through the bags of clothes and voicing his distaste. She shook her head as he kicked the grey sweatpants she had bought and turned back to watch the road. "You're not the one who will be wearing them."

"But I'll likely be in the same vicinity as you!" He kicked a bag and sat down on the edge of the seat to sulk.

"You are such a diva," the woman said with a roll of her eyes. "Are you pouting?"

"Shut up, and I do not pout!"

Bluestreak grinned as she rolled her eyes again and spun around as the wheel turned almost a complete three-sixty while she pulled up to the front of the house.

"That's not fair," Sideswipe grumbled while jumping from the back seat to the front. "I wanted to ride on it too."

"I'll wrap a string around you and tie it to the ceiling fan so it can spin you around," Victoria said, turning the car off and gathering the belongings she had in the front seat. "It'll be the more extreme version of the steering wheel."

"Sweet!"

Bluestreak climbed up her arm to sit on her shoulder while she climbed out of the car and lowered Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to the ground. "You guys better go tell the others where you've been. I'm pretty sure they've been searching for you all day."

"Yeah, right," Sideswipe said but moved to do what she said anyway. "I bet Prowl figured out where we went just breems after we were found missing."

The sound of a motor reached them before the yells. The group paused in front of the car and turned in the direction of the noise just in time to see Jazz sprint around the corner of the cabin. "Wheeljack, dis aint cool man!"

The motor caught up to him, and Victoria almost dropped her bags in surprise as a lawnmower came around the corner with him. She could only gawk with Bluestreak while the Twins laughed and watched as the saboteur ran right in front of them. Jazz yelled as the lawnmower came to**o** close for comfort and sped up. The machine sped up to match his speed.

"Keep running Jazz!" Wheeljack yelled as he followed not far behind the lawnmower and its victim. "I didn't have time to make a controller, so you'll just have to keep going until it runs out of fuel!"

Jazz let out a string of un-Jazz like curses while turning the next corner and heading back to the backyard. Wheeljack slowed to a stop in front of them. "Well, at least we're getting a work-out. By the time it does run out of fuel, I'm almost positive that we will be able to out run any Decepticon."

"Why won't he just turn into his vehicular mode?" Bluestreak asked as he appeared to be the only capable of speech at the moment. Victoria was still too surprised to say anything, and the Twins were laughing too hard to form any coherent sentence.

"I programed it to adjust to its target's speed," Wheeljack said with pride only he could have for a rampant machine. "Jazz would just wear himself out faster instead of escaping. And it's been on his tail since I cranked it up, so he hasn't had the opportunity to climb back up onto the porch."

"Wheeljack," Victoria said when she regained her ability to speak. "How long will it take to run out of gas?"

"Oh, it only had half a tank, so it shouldn't be too long."

The words had barely left his mouth when Jazz reappeared behind him. He passed the inventor and barely paused to give Wheeljack a word of advice. "Run!"

Wheeljack yelled as the lawnmower cleared the corner and honed in on them. He and Jazz disappeared around the corner to begin another circuit around the cabin. By this time, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had fallen to the ground with laughter and Victoria was sighing. "Why?"

"He wouldn't be Wheeljack if he didn't," Bluestreak said with a smile as Jazz and Wheeljack reappeared and disappeared just as quickly.

"What did he do to make it run on its own?"

"We've learned not to question how Wheeljack does anything. It just makes our processors hurt and more delicate mechs like Red Alert crash."

They watched as the two ran around the house again. "Well, as long as the thing isn't causing any property damage, we can just let it run until it runs out of fuel."

"That's what Wheeljack said!"

Victoria went to unpacking the car as Bluestreak chattered in her ear, having tons of other amusing stories about the many other inventions of Wheeljack's and the end results. Halfway through unpacking, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe somehow got caught in the lawnmower's path, so now it was Jazz, Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe running for their lives. Victoria and Bluestreak (and whoever happened to be on the back porch) just got free entertainment for the next hour. And it was _very_ entertaining…

…unless you asked the victims. They would forever glare at anyone who brought up the Lawnmower Incident.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Naughty Twins, always getting into trouble and dragging Bluestreak along with them! Oh well, the lawnmower will teach them a lesson ;) Hopefully no one finds Victoria's breakdown a tad too childish. In all honesty, she's been holding it in since the day before; and there's more insight to Victoria. More to come along with (for those who can remember) the contents of the envelope from chapter 1…but that won't be revealed for a couple of chapters.

The glossaries are getting shorter as there is less for me to explain to my sister. Glossary for this chapter:

_Youngling-toddler  
><em>_Sparkling-infant  
><em>_Creator-parent  
><em>_Breem-(time unit) ~8.3 minutes  
><em>_Cybertronian=Transformer  
><em>_Unicron- a giant Transformer (the size of a planet) who consumes other planets…bastard_

Until next Monday :)

**EDITED: 1/5/2014 (Grammar, additional sentences/some dialogue, etc.)**


	6. Of Car Tracks and Doll Furniture

**DISCLAIMER:****As with Transformers, I do not own Hot Wheels. I believe it belongs to Mattel, but I'm not completely sure. Also, the idea for Mirage having doll furniture came from *****The-Starhorse****'s photo comics on deviantART. I still recommend them to anyone who's looking for a good laugh.**

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Five

Of Car Tracks and Doll Furniture

* * *

><p><strong>Day 4<strong>

Before the third day ended, Victoria had managed to disconnect the tiny device that made the lawnmower rampant, since Wheeljack had collapsed as soon as the machine had stopped; put all of the new things she had bought in their proper places; helped Ratchet bring Swoop down from his sugar high (it was decided that cookies were _not_ a good diet for the Dinobot); divided the back porch equally between the two factions—not that it mattered much to the Decepticons—and learned that Starscream was a very big kiss-up. The last of all of that was discovered when he began to praise her _amazing, thoughtful, _and _inspiring _leadership skills; she had a feeling it was all a big plot to get rid of Kre-O Megatron, who she had not seen since the day before.

The next day, Victoria was more than determined to get back to the whole reason she was there in the first place—gathering up what needed to be sold or gotten rid of so she could get back to her normal life. And the attic was just waiting for her. The young woman had managed to avoid unwanted company by wearing one of the new puke green sweaters she had bought (Sunstreaker had declared she looked _atrocious_ before dragging his brother to the other end of the house where she wouldn't be) and asking Optimus to keep her location a secret from the others, which he formally agreed to.

The only ones Victoria hadn't been able to avoid were the three present at the time she told Optimus where she would be. Red Alert hadn't been interested in traveling to the top floor as Ratchet was still working on just getting him to leave the shelf, but Wheeljack had insisted on accompanying her with the excuse that he could be looking for materials to build his teleportation bomb. She told him to take off the bomb part, and she would let him come. Mirage's company had been a surprise. Victoria hadn't expected the sophisticated mech to want to run around in a dusty old attic, but she had let him come anyway. The quiet mech had been one of the few to make it onto her list of Transformers who wouldn't cause any trouble.

"Wheeljack, if you touch that, you're going to have to go back downstairs," Victoria said, not even looking up from the box she was pursuing.

There was the faint sound of shuffling before Wheeljack spoke up. "You can't even see what I'm doing."

"You're too quiet."

Wheeljack paused before letting out a static filled sigh. "Fine, I won't mess with this do-hickey…"

"Good Wheeljack," Victoria muttered under her breathe as she sorted through a box of clothes. She picked one up only to scrunch her nose in disgust when seeing the various stains littering the blue sweatshirt. "Why did he even save this?" She tossed it to the side and heard a muffled cry from that direction. She scooted over to the box she had thrown it over and picked the sweatshirt up to see Mirage. "Sorry."

The blue spy picked himself up and dusted off the dust that had accumulated on him. He didn't say a word as he returned to making his trip around the room. Victoria watched as the silent mech weaved in and out of boxes with ease, even managing to occasionally vanish from sight. "What are you even doing up here?"

Mirage paused. "Would you like for me to return to the first floor?"

"No," she said quickly, and Mirage nodded and walked on. "I just don't see how you could be interested in digging around up here."

"One can only take so much of Red Alert before needing to get away."

Victoria snickered and belatedly realized that while the others had freely roamed through the house, Mirage had always stayed put in the bookcase with Red Alert. It only made sense that he would get out when he had the chance. "Why come up here though?"

"Solitude," Mirage answered. "You went through a lot of trouble to keep your whereabouts a secret. The only one to worry about is Wheeljack."

The sound of a crash came from the other side of the attic. "I'm alright!" There was some clanking about as Wheeljack moved around. "Wait…I might be a little stuck."

"How much is a little?" Victoria asked while digging into a new box, and Mirage went off on his own again.

"There appears to be many roads on top of me. I think this violates many of Red Alert's safety codes."

Perplexed, Victoria stood in the cramped space of the attic and maneuvered around the boxes to reach the far side of the room where Wheeljack was. She found him on the other side of the treadmill and blinked when she realized he wasn't lying. A pile of flexible orange tracks lay on top of Wheeljack. He saw her and waved with the one arm that wasn't pinned under the weight of the tracks. "Hello!"

"Wheeljack," Victoria sighed while bending down to pick the things off of him. Mirage appeared out of thin air and started to move the tracks on the other side. "Where did you find these?"

"In that box," the engineer said, pointing at the upside down box. "I was yanking something out from underneath when it toppled over."

Victoria grabbed the box and turned it up right to place the orange tracks back inside. "My brother had an obsession with toys."

Mirage copied her, but he could only put one in at a time. Wheeljack was soon free and back to his curious self. "What are those?"

"They look like Hot Wheels tracks," Victoria said, flipping the box around until she found a label made of masking tape. "Hm, it says 'Extreme Car Track.'"

"What does it do?" Wheeljack asked, following Victoria across the attic to the hole in the floor.

"You put toy cars on it and watch them fly around the track," she said and threw the box down the ladder. It landed with a loud thud, causing a Transformer close by to shriek. "Whoops, I didn't think anyone was down there."

"They're fine," Wheeljack reassured her as he hopped down the rungs of the ladder. He paused halfway down to look back up at her. "Come on! You have to come put this together and show me how it works."

"Wheeljack, I don't have time to do that," she complained. Mirage joined her by the opening and took a minute step back at the sight of the long fall beneath him. "Those tracks can take hours to put together, and I haven't even been through half the junk up here."

"It'll still be there later!" Wheeljack reached the bottom of the ladder and looked up at her as he stood next to the box. "Come on! This will, uh…keep a lot of 'bots busy and out of your way!"

Victoria frowned down at the engineer, who looked back with brightly lit vocal fins and bright optics. "…are you sure it'll keep them busy?"

"Positive!"

"Damn you**,** Wheeljack," she muttered under her breath as she began to climb down. "You managed to find a weakness." Victoria paused to look back at Mirage, whose golden optics barely peeked over the edge of the opening. "You coming or staying?"

The odd optics flickered between her and the tiny form of Wheeljack below before vanishing. "I will remain up here. If that is fine with you?"

"I envy you," was her only response as her feet hit the floor. "Feel free to browse through any of the boxes if you'd like."

Mirage helm reappeared long enough to nod, and he vanished again, which Victoria was starting to believe was the norm for the mech. Wheeljack regained her attention by tugging on the leg of her sweatpants, and she bent down to pick up the box. "Yeah, yeah, let's go, mad scientist."

"Hey! What's that? Where'd ya get it? You almost squashed us with it."

Bluestreak pulled a Mirage and appeared out of thin air beside them to peer up at the box she was holding. Victoria looked slightly horrified. "I almost squashed you? Are you alright? Are you the one who squealed?"

"Yes, yes, and no," Bluestreak answered while pointing over his right door-wing. "Jazz was the one who squealed."

"Ah did not!" Jazz said in offense as he sidled out from behind the ladder. His normally jaunty step was missing as he came to stand with them, propping his hands on his hips with a heavy frown. "Special Ops don' squeal."

"What about the incident on the trip back to Iacon?"

Jazz spun around to point up at Mirage, who hadn't vanished like Victoria thought but was still staring down at them. "There's not any proof o' that incident, which means it didn't happen!"

"Oh, but something like that is hard to erase from one's memory banks," Mirage said, and Victoria was surprised by the slightly teasing tone he used.

"Ah'll make it easy for ya," Jazz said and pointed to a spot beside him. "Come on down 'ere an' lemme assist ya."

The blue mech just chuckled, and Victoria watched his helm disappear. So he wasn't as stuffy as she had originally thought, and actually had a humorous side. At least he did around Jazz. A tug from Wheeljack turned her attention back to her current task, and the group moved towards the stairs that would take them to the first floor of the cabin. "What were you two doing up here?"

"Jazz got bored, and I just came with him," Bluestreak answered as he kept pace with her slow steps. "Neither of us has been up here since we first came out of stasis. It's a lot quieter since everyone else is downstairs."

"Stasis is just like—Wheeljack, no matter how many times you tug on my pants, I am not going any faster!—it's just like sleep right? But I thought you guys called that being in recharge or something?"

"Not really," Jazz said as Wheeljack fell back to walk next him, least the engineer get punted down the hallway by an annoyed organic. "Stasis is more like fo' emergencies. Like if ya get too damaged in battle or somethin', and your systems tell ya ta shut down in order ta keep ya from goin' permanently offline. If ya want the medical mumbo-jumbo to it, ya should ask Ratch'."

"Stasis is for emergencies, and recharge is for…recharging," Victoria repeated to herself while Bluestreak hitched a ride on the top of her foot as they walked down the stairs, or jumped as was the case for the five inch tall mechs behind them. "I think I can stick with the simple explanations."

Going down the stairs was like stepping into a totally different world. The silence that had accompanied them on the second floor was viciously broken by the sounds of yells, engines, and what sounded like an action movie full of explosions and gun fights turned on full volume. A cop car, Barricade, she identified as it was becoming easier to tell him and Prowl apart in spite of their almost matching designs, fishtailed to avoid ramming into her foot as she suddenly appeared in his way. The army vehicle wasn't so lucky and not only crashed into her but also completely flipped over her foot to land on its roof on the other side. The engine roared, and the wheels spun as if the faster they went, the more likely it would flip the vehicle back over.

"Where are you two going in such a hurry?" Victoria asked, placing the box down on the bottom step to flip the tan vehicle over. The claw-like appendage on the roof snapped at her once it was right-side up, and she dropped it back onto the floor. "How ungrateful. You can just sit on your back for a while."

Barricade sped away before her attention could be brought to him, leaving his partner to waste his time by transforming, righting himself, transforming back, and _then_ following behind the scout. Victoria just watched them head to the utility room while picking her box back up. "I could have saved you ten seconds if you just allowed me to help."

The claw on the roof of the tanned tank waved around and the engine emitted a series of odd sounds. The brunette glared as it vanished. "How rude…I don't even know his name yet."

"I think that's Bonecrusher," Bluestreak said helpfully. "He doesn't come out of that room very much. I don't think he's much of a team player either."

"Yes, yes, yes, a Decepticon who isn't a team player—how shocking," Wheeljack said impatiently while pushing on the back of Victoria's leg. "Now, let's return to the matter at hand."

"When did you get so pushy?" Victoria asked as he pushed her towards the living room, where the sounds of cars and explosions were coming from.

"When being pulley put me in harm's way."

Jazz and Bluestreak happily laughed at Wheeljack's joke, but Victoria just rolled her eyes. She tensed in anticipation of seeing one of the Autobots (most likely the Twins) and Decepticons (why did both sides have to have twins?) fighting each other. To her surprise, she did not find Sunstreaker trying to behead one of the Cassettes or Skywarp dive-bombing Ratchet. Instead, the sofa had been sort of divided between the two factions—the Cassette twins sat on the right arm of the couch, Soundwave sat on the cushion below them, and the three jets were on the back of the couch behind the telepath and his symbiotes; Sunstreaker and Sideswipe sat on the cushion close to the invisible line that seemed to separate them, Red Alert hugged the left arm of the couch, Ratchet stood behind him with his hands on his hips, and Ironhide occupied the left arm.

All optics were focused on the movie that was playing on the ridiculously big TV. An explosion of flames filled the screen, and a car shot through them in slow motion for added dramatics. Frenzy snorted at the unscathed vehicle. "This movie's lame! That human should've died four explosions ago."

"Shut the frag up!" Sunstreaker hissed, and Frenzy stuck what looked like a tongue out at him. "If you don't wanna watch it, then leave."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Frenzy yelled as he stood up. His yell earned him a chunk of cookie to the head, via Skywarp. "What the–keep your organic slag to yourself!"

Skywarp just shushed him and turned back to the TV where a group of people were arguing in the aftermath of the epic, explosion-filled escape. Frenzy slumped back down beside his brother, who tauntingly held the thrown cook beneath his brother's nose.

"What are you guys doing?" Victoria finally asked as Frenzy shoved the snack food into his twin's face.

Ratchet was the only one who turned to her. "The Twins were messing with the devices by the screen and managed to turn this on. Do humans watch these on a daily basis?"

"Some do," she answered while putting the box down on the recliner. "And the people acting in the movies make tons of money."

"What?" Ratchet said incredulously as he left the couch to join her by the recliner. Jazz and Bluestreak quickly took his place—Jazz sitting on the edge with Red Alert and Bluestreak joining the Twins. "That is ridiculous! The movie is absolutely horrible. It has no plot, awful graphics, and what is the point of that femme? I thought you said that humans feel uncomfortable walking around without their outer covering."

"No, I said most– wait, what are you guys watching?" Victoria looked up at the screen just in time to see the beginnings of a _very_ intense make-out scene. She slapped a hand over her eyes as her cheeks began redden. "Oh my God! Aliens from a distant planet should _not_ be watching this."

"How come?" Sideswipe asked. No one except her seemed disturbed by the images that were on the screen or the noises that came from the speakers. Ironhide even grunted in disinterest at the scene he deemed absolutely pointless. "They've done it three times already. What are they even doing with their mouths? Eating each other? And why do they have to take their clothing off? You don't do that with mechs of your kind, do you?"

"Oh my God," Victoria repeated as the inappropriate sounds on the TV got louder. "Please turn it off."

The TV went off with a sound of disgruntled "Hey!"s and sighs of displeasure. Victoria uncovered her eyes to see that Soundwave had been the one to turn it off, and he was still standing on the table holding the controller that was nearly the same size as him. "Inappropriate."

"Oh, come on!" Rumble whined. "It aint like we haven't seen it before."

Soundwave shook his helm and jumped off the table. He walked out of the room without any further acknowledgment to the occupants of the room. Sideswipe jumped from the couch to the table with the intention of turning the movie back on, only to get wrenched in the side of the helm by a well-aimed throw from Ratchet. "Okay, okay! You win this round, Hatchet."

"The Hatchet wins every round," Ratchet grumbled in slight displeasure over his nickname before turning to the jumpy Wheeljack. "What have you gotten into?"

"I have permission!" Wheeljack said automatically, and Ratchet appeared to roll his optics. "It's a racing track."

This seemed to gain the Twins' attention, and they joined the three. "A racing track?"

"A racing track," Wheeljack repeated for a third time. "I found it up in the attic."

"Where's the attic?"

"Nowhere!" Victoria answered Sunstreaker quickly. "Wheeljack's just lost his mind. He meant to say…a room upstairs."

"But all those rooms are closed off," Sunstreaker said while crossing his arms.

"I opened them."

"But they were closed when we went to check out the second floor a couple of joors ago."

"…I locked you guys out."

Sunstreaker glared up at her with a sneer on his face. "Then where did that ladder lead to?"

"Since when have you been so nosy?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"I don't have to answer you!"

"Answer me, youno good, filthy organic!"

"This is more entertaining than the movie," Rumble said, eating the cookie Skywarp had tossed at him earlier. Frenzy nodded as Sunstreaker and Victoria began to yell insults at each other.

"What happened to her?" Ratchet asked as Sunstreaker let out a particularly long insult that left the woman slightly stunned for a moment. "She was so mature, and now she's exchanging insults with Sunstreaker. They're acting like two younglings!"

"Yeah, well…" Victoria stumbled, and Sunstreaker looked smug. "You're…you're a little fashion diva that freaks out when something someone else is wearing doesn't go with your ugly shade of yellow!"

Sunstreaker gasped, and Sideswipe took a step back as he felt his twin's anger. "Take that back."

"What?" Victoria blinked down at him. "That you're a diva or that you're an ugly yellow color?"

"The last part!" Sunstreaker pointed a deadly finger at her. "I am not an ugly color. But you wouldn't know that because you cover yourself in the most hideous colors known to Cybertronian _and_ man!"

"At least I'm not yellow!"

Sunstreaker growled and moved to attack her, but Ratchet intervened with his wrench. "Oh, stop it!" He turned to Victoria, who had snorted at seeing Sunstreaker get hit in the side of the head by the medic. Ratchet treated her with the same treatment, only hitting her on the ankle instead of the head. It didn't matter as it elicited the same response. "You're acting like two little sparklings! Now you've completely deviated from the original point of this conversation, and I do believe it had something to do with what is in that box."

"Slag it," Rumble said from his and Frenzy's arm of the couch. "Just when things were starting to get good. Stupid Autobots—always ruining stuff."

Sideswipe snickered at how the two made it a point to avoid looking directly at the CMO. Sunstreaker just grumbled and stomped off to the other side of the room, while Victoria silently opened the box up and began to unpack it. She placed the orange tracks on the floor, gaining Red Alert, Bluestreak, and Jazz's attention as the three hopped off the couch to circle the tracks.

"How are you supposed to race on these?" Bluestreak asked, picking one of the longer tracks up and almost whacking Red Alert with it. "You can't go very far on these."

"You have to put them together first," Victoria explained, picking up two tracks and snapping the ends together. "See?"

"How safe is this?" Red Alert questioned while bending one of the flexible pieces.

"Come on Red," Ironhide said. Now that the movie had been turned off, the older officer was sprawled out on the couch with his arms propped behind head. His pose briefly reminded Victoria of her dad when he was getting ready to take a nap before she pushed it away. "Let 'em have their fun."

"I've never seen a car wreck on it," Victoria answered, which was true. She just didn't need to mention the fact that she had never seen a toy car on it at all. Fortunately, the answer seemed to satisfy the normally picky Red Alert, and he stood next to Jazz as the younger Autobots began to place the tracks in groups by length.

Wheeljack dug around the box until he pulled out multiple folded pieces of computer paper that were stapled together to look like an instruction booklet. "Well, this doesn't seem too difficult."

Victoria watched him flip through it, eyeing the detailed pictures that had obviously been done in her brother's hand. Eric's art style hadn't changed much over the years..."Yeah, just forget the fact that there are about thirty pages of instructions with five pictures on each page."

"I said it didn't look difficult, nothing about how long it could take."

"I hate you, Wheeljack."

Wheeljack's fins just lit up as he stood on the recliner to look down at the surprisingly neat stacks that Sideswipe and Bluestreak had created. Both of the younger Autobots filed over to stand before him, and Sideswipe playfully saluted as he waited for the engineer's instructions. Wheeljack rubbed his hands together in anticipation and turned to page one. "Let's get started!"

**[~]**

Three hours, two fights, and one panicky Red Alert later, Victoria was standing over a very impressive sized racing track. Her brother hadn't exaggerated when he put the word "Extreme" on the box, though now she could see that it wasn't a Hot Wheels track like she had previously believed. The tracks were too wide to be designed just for tiny Hot Wheels cars.

"Me Swoop no see what excitement about."

"It's a car thing," Victoria said while stroking the pterodactyl's crest as it sat on her shoulder. Swoop wiggled beneath her pets and snuggled up against her neck. The Dinobot was turning out to be a good snuggle buddy. "I'm pretty sure the jets don't understand either."

"That's not true!" She turned to see Starscream standing on the coffee table they had moved to the edge of the room. The Seeker stared down at the part of the track that curved around the table's leg and back out towards the middle of the room. "It is…a magnificent…architecture! Yes, a magnificent architecture for it was built by your hand!"

Victoria cautiously sat on the table beside him and watched as Jazz, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe argued about who would be the first two on the track. "Tone down on the ass-kissing. Lay it on too thick and people will know you're lying…which is probably why not many of your own team members like you."

Starscream looked offended as he placed a servo over his spark. "Me: lying? I mean everything I say from the bottom of my spark!"

"How do I look in this sweater?" the brunette asked point-blank, turning so that he could see every angle. Swoop chuckled from his spot on her shoulder as he remembered the fit the grouchy twin had that morning over her choice of outer covering. Even some of the other Autobots, mainly Jazz and Sideswipe, had opposed it.

"You, uh, look," Starscream stumbled as the two of them stared down at him, awaiting his answer. "…magnificent?"

"Liar," Victoria immediately called him out. "Even I acknowledge that the sweater is ugly. I just bought it to annoy Miss Fashionista down there."

Starscream stared at her before pointing down at her feet. "I love the color you put on your little organic pedes."

Victoria looked down to see that he was pointing at her toes, which she had gotten painted a bright red when she went to get a pedicure over a week ago. "Now see? That's the kind of butt-kissing you should be doing—subtle, not over the top, and not so obvious lies."

Starscream's wings slightly twitched as he sat on the table with his legs dangling over the edge. On the floor, Wheeljack had joined in on the argument, waving his hands towards the booklet he had graciously read off for Victoria during the construction of the track they were fighting over. Ratchet, who stood next to Wheeljack, looked tempted to knock out all four of them, if only to make them be quiet.

"And how exactly do you know this?"

Victoria looked down at the jet with a shrug. "I do it on a daily basis. My boss is an asshole but staying on his good side makes your life a whole lot easier. Unfortunately, the jerk has no likeable features, so I kiss his butt all the time."

The jet looked surprised by this but had the chance to cover it as Swoop spoke. "Me Swoop no get butt kissing. Why kiss someone butt?"

"Not literally, Swoop," the woman reassured him. "It just means that you praise someone a lot so that they favor you." Victoria looked down at Starscream. "But excessive butt-kissing leads to annoyance and eventually hatred. Stop doing it with me or you might find yourself buried in the back yard."

"I was not!" Starscream continued to insist. "Why would I even kiss-up to _you?"_

"I am not getting rid of Megatron."

"Why am I even talking to you then?" Starscream stood up on the table and pointed at her. "What use are you if you won't rid me of the one thing standing in my way of becoming the leader of the Decepticons?"

"I can fling you across this room and not feel an ounce of pity," Victoria said, holding her hand up at an angle as if she was about to do exactly as she said.

Starscream fell to his knees. "I take back everything I said! You are most useful!"

Victoria hummed and let the jet transform and fly outside to join the other two jets. Halfway through the construction of the race track, Skywarp had begun to fly around her head, insisting that she open the sliding door and let them out. She did as the purple jet said after his flying had gotten overly annoying, and he and Thundercracker had been outside ever since. With the jet gone, she turned her full attention to the Autobots.

"You wouldn't even be able to keep up," Sunstreaker was saying, and from the way Wheeljack's fins lit up an unpleasant shade of pink, Victoria decided that it was Wheeljack he was talking to.

"Excuse me?" Wheeljack said, highly offended. "I could complete three full circuits before you're even done with your first!"

"Hey, don't blow a fuse, 'Jackie," Sideswipe said, patting the engineer on the shoulder. "Sunny's just saying that you're not as fast as you used to be."

Victoria shook her head as the pink color of Wheeljack's fins grew darker. Ratchet was doing the exact same thing as Jazz and Bluestreak took a step back. Swoop poked her cheek. "Even me Swoop know not to do that."

"Alright, let's make this interesting," Wheeljack said as he rubbed his hands together. "Me and Sunstreaker: three laps around the track. If I win, you two will be my personal lackeys for three solar cycles."

"Lackeys?" Victoria repeated, drawing his attention to her.

He gave her what she was beginning to label as a "Wheeljack Grin"—when the fins on either side of his head lit up a bright blue. "The term 'slave' seems a little demeaning, don't you think?"

"What do we get if I win?" Sunstreaker asked impatiently as Wheeljack seemed to suddenly forget about them.

"If you win…" Wheeljack paused as he thought up a good prize. "Ah ha! I'll give you your rubber bands back."

The Twins agreed even as Ratchet gave his friend a glaring look. "And how will you get that approved by Prowl?"

"Ah, that's the best part! I won't have to because I don't plan on losing."

"Losin' is never planned," Jazz said wisely with Bluestreak sagely nodding beside him. "But hey, with the way you're projectin' such confidence, there aint no way ya can lose."

"My thoughts exactly!" Wheeljack began to fold in on himself until a white car with red and green stripes shaped as triangles on the hood of the car sat in his place. The green stripes continued along the top of the windows while the red stripes covered the roof of the car, and the Autobot symbol was proudly displayed in the center of the roof.

Victoria let out a low whistle, and Wheeljack revved his engine. "Well, don't you look spiffy for someone who likes to blow himself up?"

Sunstreaker snorted and followed Wheeljack's example. His vehicular form wasn't much different than his bipedal form other than the fact that he had four wheels. He was as yellow as ever with the only other splash of color being the red symbol that adorned his roof. "You look as full of yourself as ever."

Sunstreaker's engine growled as the group laughed. He rolled onto the end of the track that was designated as "Start" line. "Let's get this over with, old-timer."

Wheeljack joined him, and Jazz and Sideswipe connected the track. Neither was getting off until a winner was decided. Jazz grinned as he moved to stand in front of them. "Alright! Ya know da general rules for racin'."

"Go over them, Jazz!" Victoria had almost forgotten that Red Alert was still in the room. He sat on the edge of the recliner looking down at the piece of track that ran below him.

Jazz sighed. "Fine, a crash course on racin' rules. No weapons, no unauthorized gadgets, no transformin', no cheatin' in general, no involvin' the bystanders…did Ah miss anythin'?"

"No intentional ramming!" Red Alert emphasized loudly.

"Red Alert, you're the biggest fun sucker I have ever met," Sunstreaker said, and Wheeljack laughed beside him. "Let's get this over with!"

"Alright, without further ado, unless there's anythin' someone would like to say-"

"Jazz!"

"On ya mark, get set, go!" Jazz yelled in quick succession with a wave of his hands. The two cars took off down the track, neck and neck. "And they're off!"

Victoria softly laughed as Sideswipe and Bluestreak enthusiastically cheered as one "fan" for each racer. Even Ratchet was grinning, though he still managed to seem his stern self at the same time. Jazz was the most entertaining as he raced down the outside of the track to narrate the race.

"They're neck in neck as they take the first curve. Sunny's pullin' ahead…and 'Jackie takes the league! Now they're approachin' the loops. Who's gonna lose they're mid-day ration first?"

"Why the frag did we put loops in this again?" Sunstreaker yelled as he went around and around the two loops. Wheeljack gave an enthusiastic yell as he cleared that part of the track and sped ahead while the younger 'bot wobbled on his wheels.

"Sunny's fallin' behind!"

"Shut up, Jazz!"

Cackling filled the room as Skywarp flew through the sliding door and began to weave in and out of the track's loops, nearly ramming Wheeljack as the inventor encountered the second pair of loops. Jazz kept up his commentary with, "A wild card has entered the race!"

"Come on, Sunny!" Sideswipe shouted as Sunstreaker turned the last bend and shot towards where they stood.

"Don't call me that!" Sunstreaker yelled as he cleared the Start line for the first lap. Wheeljack was nearly half a lap ahead of him.

Skywarp continued to weave through the track, and any time he wandered close to her, Victoria would attempt to swat him from the sky. Starscream soon distracted her as he and Thundercracker landed on the table beside. "It has come to my attention that my trine and I are being treated unequally."

"Since when do you care about equality?" Victoria asked while Swoop stared down at them.

"Since the grounders got something big!" Starscream whined, and Thundercracker nodded behind him. "The jets deserve something as well."

Swoop perked up and gestured a wing at the ceiling. "Me Swoop want race track in the sky!"

Starscream observed the Dinobot. "The small minded Autobot may be onto something." He pointed at her. "We want a race track in the sky!"

Sunstreaker let out a slur of curse words as Wheeljack passed him, the engineer already on his third lap while Sunstreaker trailed behind by an entire lap. Victoria barely glanced their way as she gave the Seekers a hard stare. "How do you propose I make this 'track in the sky'?"

The head jet shrugged. "That's not my concern. Make it, or we will destroy the grounder's track."

"Destroy it and I'll destroy you," Victoria said in annoyance. If they destroyed her three hours of hard work…let's just say it wouldn't be a good day to be a jet.

Starscream shrunk back before straightening back up. "You wouldn't even be able to catch us!"

Victoria glared as what he said was the truth. The only time she had even been able to touch Skywarp had been when she caught him off guard. If Skywarp was such a slippery jet, odds were that Starscream and Thundercracker would be even trickier to catch. "You have a valid point. But even you need to recharge."

The young adult ominously trailed off and watched with morbid humor as the hidden threat caused Starscream to freeze. Thundercracker sighed when he realized that Starscream would revert back to his cowardly self, which he did with little more insistence. "Well, maybe we won't destroy it…"

Victoria glared down at him for a second longer—a second long enough for him to take a step closer to Thundercracker—before sighing and turning to Swoop. "I'll make you some kind of obstacle course. I just need to find the right things to make it with."

A crow of victory came from the floor as Wheeljack flew off the track and skidded to a stop beside Ratchet. He transformed and held his arms in the air. "Who's the old geezer now?"

Sunstreaker growled and transformed while still on the track to fling himself off and stomp out of the room. Red Alert yelled a disapproving warning and was answered with the clicks and growls of their native language. Red Alert looked offended as the front-liner left without a backwards glance.

Wheeljack continued his odd little dance of victory until Ratchet made a sound to gain his attention. The inventor turned to him with a grin. "I won!"

"I know," Ratchet said while trying to keep a grin of his own off his face. "But you could act a little more mature about it."

Wheeljack waved him off. "I shall flaunt my victory for the next three cycles."

Jazz laughed as he climbed up on the track with Bluestreak. "I'd avoid Sunny fo' a while. He didn' look too sunny ta me."

Jazz and Bluestreak shrunk down to their vehicular modes and waited for Sideswipe to countdown. Victoria watched them start the race before sighing and standing up to walk over to Wheeljack. She crouched down beside him and Ratchet, and Swoop flew down to stand with them. "Wheeljack, have you ever made an obstacle course in the sky?"

His fins glowed as he looked up at her with an eagerness that made the woman lean back a little. "Nope, but I wouldn't mind making one for the first time."

**[~]**

Victoria sighed as she pulled herself up through the hole in the ceiling. Was there even a point at attempting to continue her cleaning? The last four hours were nothing compared to the first three she had spent on the Autobots' new source of entertainment. Halfway through sketching the schematics for the course because you _always_ had to have schematics (a fact that Ratchet laughed at since nearly none of Wheeljack's inventions had plans to go with them, and which Wheeljack argued that there _were_ schematics...they were just in places others couldn't see).

Anyway, halfway through the planning phase, Prowl had appeared from nowhere, meaning he came in from where he had been in the backyard for the past few hours, and told them that half of their planned course was violating so many regulations that Red Alert would have had a spark-attack if he had seen them. So, they had to scrap that half and plan up a more Red Alert friendly track. Then they got distractedbecause somehow Jazz had managed to convince Prowl to get on the track, and Prowl became the reigning champion after racing and beating every vehicle in the room, including Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Red Alert.

When they had _finally_ gotten back to the "Course in the Sky," as Wheeljack had officially dubbed it, the jets decided to pay a visit. Skywarp was his annoying self, and Victoria had just about learned to ignore him, but Starscream had developed a sudden interest in her. For some reason he had decided to pick verbal fights with her instead of kissing up to her, but all of them ended when she spoke some hidden threat and he cringed back into one of trine mates. But he kept coming back, and before their hour long visit had ended, he wasn't as easily cowed as he had been. It took two glares to make him back down now.

Optimus Prime was the most interesting visit they had. He had come from the backyard—whatever he and Prowl had been doing out there was a mystery—and stared up at the hoops Victoria was sticking to the ceiling with tape and string. After asking what Wheeljack had been doing (he was making the hoops she hung from pipe cleaners she had found), he had suggested that they hang a few from the ceiling fan and turn it on to make it more challenging for the flyers to get through. Then he suggested that instead of just putting up hoops for them to fly through, they should somehow make obstacles to go in their way.

Though the suggestions had been good ones, Victoria had not pleased with the Prime. It meant that more work had to be done when all she had planned on doing was hanging up pipe cleaner shaped circles. But Wheeljack had jumped on the idea and began to make the obstacles that Optimus had suggested. They somehow ended up with paper towel rolls that they cut in half and strung back together with yarn so that the jets and Swoop would be able to fit through them, Blu-ray discs tied to pieces of string that swung in a pendulum fashion at the end of the "tunnels," the hoops that swung around the gently spinning ceiling fan and the ones that were just attached to the ceiling, and, as per Swoop's request, a spiral made of paper that the jets would have follow in order to complete the course.

Starscream had made it a point to argue that their course was much more complicated than the cars, despite the fact that Skywarp and Swoop had flown through it twice and approved. It took three glares for him to back down and join the other flyers. Optimus had the audacity to chuckle at their arguments, earning him a couple of glares that didn't even faze him.

All-in-all, after those four hours everyone in the living room was happy enough for Victoria to sneak away and return to the attic. But it was already so late in the afternoon that the sun was barely coming through the window at the far side of the attic, and she had learned the first night that the single bulb didn't give off much light. She probably had enough time to locate Mirage before having to retreat back to the bottom floors.

After five minutes of searching, it was obvious that the spy didn't want to be found, and Victoria groaned out loud after moving another box and seeing he wasn't there. "Mirage, are you even still up here?"

A shuffling sound came from the corner of the attic farthest from the door, and Mirage was soon standing on top of a box. "Over here. I was expecting you to come back joors ago."

"Yeah," Victoria said walking over to him. "Today was the one day that the jets wanted equality."

"What?"

"You'll see when you go to the living room."

Mirage merely shrugged and hopped down the stack of boxes. Victoria followed him and blinked as she watched him collapse into a mini fold out chair, primly crossing his legs. "Where on Earth did you find that?"

The former noble pointed over to a medium sized box that was tipped over and had more mini-furniture laying in the opening. "It was the only box that was actually open."

Victoria rummaged through the furniture, pulling out a table, more chairs, and one mini-bed, and her eye slightly twitched when she realized all the stuff was _pink._ "I feel slightly disturbed at the fact that my _brother_ had a box of doll furniture in his attic."

Mirage stood up from his pink chair, passed the plastic pink sofa, and pulled up the flap of the box to show her a label. "Is your brother's name Tabitha?"

Victoria looked down to see that the label was similar to one that would be seen on a mailed package. The two biggest names on the package read "Tabitha and Eric." "No, his name is the second one." She sighed as she realized the package was dated for April first of two years ago. "It must have been an April Fools gag. I remember doing the same thing once when we were little."

She saw the confusion he tried to hide and explained the holiday to him. "People basically play pranks on each other all day and say 'April Fools' afterwards as an excuse for doing it."

Mirage's golden optics blankly stared at her. "Do not tell Sideswipe about this human holiday."

Victoria snickered at the thought of the pranking twin running around and pranking everyone while using the excuse of April Fools to get away with them. Mirage settled back down on the chair. "So…are you gonna make this your little hideaway or take the furniture back down to base?"

Mirage looked around the dim room as he seriously contemplated keeping it there. "May I take the couch to whichever room in the house I want?"

"You can even take it outside if you really want to."

The spy nodded and stood up to fold the chair back up. "I shall take half of it to base and keep half of it here. If that is fine with you?"

"It never hurts to have a secret hideaway," Victoria conceded with a nod. She reached over to collect the half he wished to take and put it back into the box while he shoved the other half further into the corner and out of sight. He hesitated when she offered him her hand but climbed on when he realized that she was just giving him a faster way to travel, like she did for Bluestreak and Swoop.

The box was thrown to the floor beside the ladder so that Victoria could climb down and fold the ladder back up to keep everyone out of the attic during the night. Mirage awkwardly rode on her shoulder as she took them downstairs where they could hear the activities going on in the living room. She dropped the box off by the bookshelf in the bedroom before taking them both to the living room.

The jets were still flying around the air track while two cop cars were on the track below them. Twins from both factions were egging the cars on as they stayed neck-in-neck, and Jazz drove around with them to add commentary to their race. Red Alert sat on the table working the stopwatch on her phone to keep the jets happy as the only way to figure out the "winner" was to time each of their rounds. He looked uncomfortable and kept glancing over his shoulder at Soundwave, who stood behind him but looked more interested in the flyers above them. Wheeljack had lost interest in the tracks and had somehow taken the controller to the Blu-ray player apart and was poking at the insides while Ratchet stood above him supervising. Optimus and Ironhide—who had finally woken from his "nap"—stood on the couch talking to each other. Bluestreak sat on the back of the couch behind them, his legs swinging without a care in the world.

The only Transformers not in the room were Megatron and Bonecrusher, and Victoria was starting to believe those two were recluses. Either that or they were doing something in that back room…her eye twitched at the random thoughts she couldn't control.

Fortunately, Swoop dive-bombing and nearly knocking Mirage off her shoulder distracted her from those thoughts. Swoop pulled up at the last second and settled on her unoccupied shoulder while the blue spy instinctively griped her hair to keep from falling. "Blue spy on Swoop's shoulder."

"Both shoulders are equal Swoop," Victoria said while Mirage looked surprised. The Dinobot was looking at the other Autobot with the same threatening optics his brothers had, and Mirage was fully reminded that the friendlier mech was just as vicious as the other Dinobots when he wanted to be. "Are you having fun with the obstacle course?"

The pterodactyl's head enthusiastically bobbed up and down, and he took off to take a turn while the jets were arguing with Red Alert, who looked ready to just throw her phone at them and be done with it. Soundwave must have said something because Starscream turned to screech at him instead of the Autobot.

Mirage shifted on her shoulder. "This is what you have been doing all day?"

"Yep," Victoria said, watching the cars on the track skid to a stop and transform to show Prowl as the winner. Barricade looked like he was about to attack the tactician before changing course to swat at Rumble as the twins began to ridicule him. "At least, it gives them something to do for a while."

Mirage shook his head. "They will be uninterested by the next cycle."

"Don't bring me down, Mirage." The woman put him down on the back of the couch with Bluestreak. "It's been a long day."

"This is really cool, Vicky," Bluestreak said. Below them, Sideswipe and Jazz were climbing onto the track as Jazz tried to convince Sunstreaker to take over his commentary. The picky front-liner just glared at the suggestion. "Even Prowl's having a good time. Well, he probably wouldn't keep getting on it if Jazz didn't convince him to, but I think he's having fun. No one's been able to beat him yet. And Red Alert isn't freaking out, which is a good thing." He paused as he finally realized that Mirage was sitting next to him. "Oh, hi, Mirage! Where have you been all day."

"Enjoying solitude," Mirage said calmly.

"Ah…must have been lonely."

Bluestreak began to make up for the solitude Mirage had experienced all day by giving him a detailed description of the day's events to him. Mirage politely smiled as Jazz and Sideswipe started their race. Victoria watched the race for a moment before shifting her posture. "As interesting as it is to hear everything I had a part in today, I'm going to go start on dinner."

"Wait!" Bluestreak suddenly shouted while jumping up. "I want to go with you!"

"Why?"

"I wanna see how you make your weird organic fuel."

Victoria stared at him with blank grey eyes. "Why?"

Bluestreak shrugged. "I just want to."

The brunette stared at him for a second longer before sighing and holding out her hand. "Fine, but when I'm done, you better know how to make tacos. That actually sounds very useful. I should teach you all how to make one dish so that every other night I don't have to cook."

Bluestreak nodded, and Mirage watched the two retreat across the hallway. The spy watched the human place his fellow Autobot, whose lips were already moving in the familiar pattern of babble, onto the counter beside her while she moved about the kitchen in search of the things she needed to cook with. He looked back down onto the living room and observed the massive construction that had been built during his stay in the attic. He frowned up at the Seekers that raced through the track attached to the ceiling and looked back at the woman.

For someone who had been determined to accomplish one goal today, Mirage found it oddly strange that Victoria was so easily convinced to spend her time making such large structures. Surely, she knew that she would have to spend just as much time taking it down tomorrow as she did putting it up today. It would be another day wasted when she could be sorting through the attic.

Strangely enough, Mirage had a feeling that was the point. As he watched the woman show Bluestreak the steps in making a human meal, the noble suspected that deep down, Victoria didn't _want_ to complete the objective she had set for herself. The question that remained was whether that was because she didn't want to leave them unsupervised for too long or was there a more complicated reason behind it?

Mirage would have to report to Jazz about his suspicions. His saboteur commander would be interested in knowing that he had discovered her MIA brother's name today.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>There we go, my attempt at including some Decepticons (because I realized I actually haven't involved them much), and something to keep the mini-bots occupied long enough for Victoria to get _something _done, although Wheeljack is already off doing something else…

I'm getting lazy with the glossaries, but I'll make sure to always include whatever time units I use for the chapter. That and my sister is slowly learning Transformer lingo.

_Iacon: city on Cybertron  
><em>_Joor: (time unit) ~ 1 hour  
><em>_Pede(s): foot (feet) [There's other words that can be used for feet, but that is one of the most common ones I have seen]  
><em>_Solar Cycle: (time unit) ~1 day_

Until next Monday :)

**EDITED: 1/5/2014 (Grammar, missing words, additional Mirage, etc.)**


	7. Snow Days

**AN: **From now on, I'll only be posting the Transformers time units that I use in the chapter at the beginning (unless there is something that I think should be defined). So here they are:

_Joor: ~1 hour  
>Nano-klik: ~1 second<br>Breem: ~8.3 minutes_

Now, without further ado~

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Six

Snow Days

* * *

><p><strong>Day 8<strong>

A week after the Transformers' appearance, Victoria had finally managed to establish a schedule for herself that the Autobots seemed to naturally follow. Her mornings would start with Swoop waking her up, though the times he woke her up would vary. One day he might wake her up as soon as the sun began to rise, and one day he wouldn't wake her up until nearly lunchtime. Despite the variance in what hour she woke up, she was able to keep on schedule fairly easily.

From the time she woke up until lunch, Victoria would hide away in whatever room she was clearing out, the attic having been that room for the last two days. At lunch, she would pause whatever she was doing to eat or have to face the wrath of Ratchet, who had somehow found out that humans needed to eat three meals a day to keep going. After lunch, Victoria would spend time with the Autobots in order to keep the mischievous ones from searching for and getting into things they shouldn't. During that time, she would have to deal with the occasional Decepticon—Skywarp, Frenzy, or Rumble being the main perpetrators. When she had spent a reasonable amount of time with them, she went back to cleaning until it was time for supper.

This was where the schedule had taken a slight deviation after the first couple of days. Bluestreak had developed a habit of following the woman into the kitchen to watch her cook, asking her all sorts of questions and telling her numerous things at the same time. Depending on how long it took her to cook, Victoria would be visited by various mechs and all for different reasons. Ratchet frequented the kitchen as he tried to figure how their tiny bodies were able to break apart the chains of glucose in the food to provide energy for them; Wheeljack would often wander into the kitchen, but his visits were more to ask her how whatever he had taken apart worked; and Soundwave surprisingly visited most often just to stand and stare at her from the table as she cooked.

It was kind of weird, but Victoria was gradually beginning to accept each mech's personal oddity. Nothing seemed to surprise her after discovering that Optimus "snored" when he recharged.

After supper had been eaten and the dishes cleaned (this was when one of the Seekers, Skywarp being the most common one, would come to annoy her by blowing bubbles everywhere as they flew over the sink), Victoria spent the rest of the night until she fell asleep with the mechs. During this time, she was able to make enough observations of said mechs to get a firm grasp on how they behaved.

The first thing Victoria had learned was that the twins from both factions were the most active, and both sets reminded her strongly of a pair of teenagers. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were the playful pair, with Sunstreaker adding a touch of teenage moodiness to the mix with his slightly vain personality. They (which she was beginning to learn was mainly Sideswipe) often spent their time pranking the older Autobots, giving Red Alert one processor crash and gaining several dents from one of Ratchet's wrenches. Rumble and Frenzy were the same, yet at the same time, they possessed a more sadistic sense of humor that led to more than a few injuries and angered Decepticons.

Like the twins, Jazz and Skywarp shared some of the same characteristics, personality wise. Jazz had a very playful side, often participating in the pranks that the Autobot twins pulled. However, unlike the Twins, Jazz was able to feign innocence with his convenient alibis and watch from the sidelines as they received their punishments. Skywarp was the same, often pranking with Rumble and Frenzy, except the Decepticon in him made him more proud of his pranks, and he made sure that his victims knew who did it, yet still somehow avoided punishment. The Decepticons must have found Starscream's screechy voice yelling at the younger Seeker as punishment enough.

Where Jazz was playful and outgoing, his fellow officer, Prowl, was serious and reserved. He was the one who often dealt out punishment**s**, and Victoria learned that he possessed a "battle computer" that made him practically dependent on logic, which she was told was a good thing when it came to battle. Everyday life seemed to be a completely story though. If something proved to be too illogical, Prowl would suffer a processor crash as his battle computer attempted, and failed, to make sense of the situation. Jazz demonstrated this by telling Prowl a simple joke. The joke not only made Prowl crash, but it also spurred the game of pointing out what Victoria and SIC had in common as she told Jazz that Prowl had been right to crash since the joke made absolutely no sense. She still wasn't certain how that made her and the strategist similar, but Sideswipe and Bluestreak seemed to find joy in making up the similarities.

The young woman found out little things about the other Autobots as well. Ratchet didn't possess a shy part in his tiny body as he answered every one of Victoria's questions and asked his own in return. Victoria now knew the detailed difference between a mech and a femme, and Ratchet knew nearly nothing about human reproduction as Victoria would sputter out an excuse to go and find something to clean whenever he posed the questions.

Wheeljack was a disaster prone as half of his "inventions" blew up in his face (except the time of the "Coffeemaker Accident" where it blew up in _her_ face), but the ones he did get to working were pretty okay. She was still impressed by the tiny rubber band machine that kept Decepticons out of her room by flicking the elastic at them. No wonder the Twins had taken their "slave" deal so gracefully after the first day; they had been the first to test out the new invention when it was operational.

Skywarp had _not _been a happy camper that day.

Red Alert was as paranoid as ever, but had softened up to her when he finally realized she wasn't going to offline them in the dead of night and proved to be a very good mech beneath his immense paranoia. Ironhide was always more eager to tinker with his cannons than participate in whatever was going on around him, but he liked to "train" with the Twins, which mainly involved testing out whatever feature he had added to his weapons. The red mech had a way of reminding Victoria of her father with his dry sense of humor and slight accent, but she tended to ignore those similarities when she could.

Mirage hid behind his impeccable manners whenever he spoke to her, but the brunette had seen him act more casual around Jazz. His tendency to go invisible on the drop of a dime and hide somewhere in the house was a completely different matter. Victoria couldn't count the numerous times she had almost had a heart attack when the mech suddenly appeared up in the attic with her. She also saw that Optimus was highly respected by his troops and was not someone who was highly prone to violence as he sought out alternatives to solve a problem, often keeping Victoria from stepping on some of the more irritating mechs. But he was no pushover if those alternatives failed—Victoria had been told that, by Bluestreak's count, Megatron had failed to takeover the bedroom six times now thanks to the Prime's more forceful methods.

Swoop and Bluestreak were special cases. Victoria had come to regard Swoop as more of a kid compared to the other, more mature Autobots. He exhibited many child-like tendencies, like the possessiveness over what he had deemed "his shoulder" and his simplistic observations (cookies now came from the "sun room"). At the same time she had seen him behave more maturely, such as when he was helping Wheeljack or Ratchet was giving him his daily medic lesson. She thought the Dinobot's behavior was cute.

Bluestreak had grown on her the most. He accompanied Victoria throughout the house whenever he could, and even though she didn't often like it when people prattled on and on, his prattling had grown on her as it often had a point. He would tell her stories of their home planet, Cybertron, and little bits about the other Autobots. He was also eager to learn anything she was willing to teach and flaunted his knowledge to an amazed Wheeljack when he showed the engineer how to properly work the microwave. Of course, this led to Wheeljack somehow making the microwave internally explode, but Bluestreak had been very proud at the time. His constantly-in-motion door-wings may have been another reason she liked him so much. The Praxian was just so adorable!

The Decepticons weren't nearly as easy to analyze as the Autobots, since they often avoided being in the same room as the organic. She never saw Megatron, though Optimus confessed to her that the tiniest mech of all only came out after she had retired for the night. That led her to believe that Megatron hadn't gotten over their first meeting. Starscream was a confusing headache, starting verbal fights with the human but backing down when things threatened to get physical. She believed Thundercracker may have been the sanest one, but then again, he _was _a Decepticon.

From what little Victoria had seen him interacting with his Cassettes, Soundwave came off as the strict paternal type but seemed to care very little for the rest of the Decepticons, with the exception of Megatron. He also had a weird tendency to just stare at things, but after seeing him give the same stare that he gave her to the lamp in the hallway, Victoria felt like it was just for simple observational reasons. Bonecrusher was a typical, mindless lackey with a touch of anger issues, and Barricade…Barricade was just a creep. She had learned that Barricade's position was a scout, and he often demonstrated those skills as well as took advantage of the neutral territory within the house. He was a quiet little sucker, and Victoria never knew he was there until she turned around and saw him staring up at her with his creepy red optics. At least with Soundwave the creepy stares were punctuated by a monotone word or two. Barricade just…_stared_.

All of this Victoria had learned over the week either through observation or Bluestreak. They had become little fixtures in the cabin that she was slowly beginning to grow used to, and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if they were still there when her month long vacation came to an end and she would have to leave.

**[~]**

The night before, Victoria had stayed up to answer the ever growing list of emails that her boss and coworkers had been sending her for the past few days. Apparently, she was some vital part of the office, and no one could function correctly without sending her pointless emails. Seriously, how was she supposed to fix a fax machine from two states away?

Her late night was unusual as she had been going to bed early in order to get up when Swoop woke her, and anyone would have thought that Victoria had thrown the little Transformers into another alternate reality. They didn't seem to know how to act with her sitting there quietly tapping away on her laptop. Especially Megatron when he had shown up in the living room, as arrogant as the day they had met, and found her sitting on the couch. Victoria hadn't expected their second meeting to go any better than the first but having the little warlord try to "defeat" her by kicking her big toe had been a pleasantly humorous surprise.

It wasn't until Prowl had started reading her emails over her shoulder, so to speak, and pointing out simple mistakes that her half-awake mind would make that Victoria decided to call it a night. That and the fact that she had started to develop an almost uncontrollable urge to throw Prowl across the room. She thought it would be best to retire for the night before something dire could happen.

Therefore, like any other sleep deprived human being, Victoria was not overly joyed by the rude awakening she received after only three hours of dreamless sleep.

"Victoria?" A tiny poke to the side was accompanied by the voice. In response, the woman just rolled over to face the opposite side of where the poke came from.

She could feel tiny fingers grip the back of her shirt to aid the little being in climbing up. "Victoria?"

Victoria buried her head deeper into the pillow and squeezed her eyes shut in hopes of which ever little robot was trying to wake her would take the hint and leave her be. It didn't work, and her eyes snapped open when the tiny voice screamed into her ear. "Wake up, woman! This is an emergency!"

Victoria jerked up, causing the tiny figure to tumble off of her and onto the blankets of the bed with a grunt. She looked around the room that was half-lit from the small beams of sunlight that managed to sneak past the blinds. With a groan the woman looked down beside her to see the mostly red and white form of Red Alert, who was looking up at her with a slightly panicked look in his bright sapphire optics.

"What?" Victoria asked in a croaky voice.

Red Alert waved his finger toward the door. "There's something on the porch, and it wasn't there last night!"

The woman stared at the agitated 'bot with tired grey eyes. "Red Alert, what did I say about the birds? They're not sparkeaters or whatever you called them."

Red Alert's optics glared up at her. "It's not a bird. It's this white substance, and it's covering not only the porch but the whole backyard too!" He paused before pointing an accusing finger at her. "And you promised not to mention that incident again!"

Victoria shrugged and sleepily fell back onto the pillow. "I'm sure it's nothing. Tell Swoop not to wake me up today."

Her answer wasn't good enough for the paranoid mech, and he expressed his displeasure by climbing on top of her belly and glaring down at her. "No, you have to come check it out now. What if it's explosive and it explodes and kills us just because you were too lazy to come and get rid of it? Or it's a Decepticon trick, and the stuff will melt through our armor the minute we touch it? Where will we be at then?"

Victoria stared at him and said the first thing that came to mind. "Dead?"

The Autobot froze, and an expression of terror crossed his face. "Primus, you're right. Quick! You have to come and get rid of it now!"

Red Alert slid off of her and proceeded to pull at the side of her shirt until she finally gave in and climbed out of the bed. He jumped to the floor and dashed out the door and down the hallway, occasionally glancing back to make sure Victoria was following, which she did at a more subdued pace after noticing that the room was empty of mechs. Normally, one or two would remain in the room until she woke.

Red Alert led Victoria into the living room where the mystery of the missing mechs was quickly solved. Most of them were lined up against the sliding door, looking out into the backyard as the first rays of sunlight managed to peek through the pine trees that surrounded the cabin. The woman yawned and came to a stop behind them. "What is Red Alert freaking out about now?"

"Good morning, Vicky!" Bluestreak said, as was routine now. He hadn't "slept" with her after the day that they had gone shopping, but he was still one of the first mechs she saw in the mornings. "Red Alert found this stuff on the porch this morning after we dragged him outta the base. Jazz told him to wait until Swoop woke you up, and we were trying to keep him out of the room until then, but he somehow got past us."

"I can see that," Victoria said, rubbing one eye while the other counted off the mechs. Other than Bluestreak, there were the Twins, Jazz, Mirage, Red Alert, and Swoop. That left half of the Autobots and all of the Decepticons unaccounted for. "Is this such a big emergency that you had to come and get me? You guys normally solve your problems without me."

"Well," Jazz started with his usual accented drawl. "Takin' inta account that we've got no idea what this stuff is, we thought it would be better ta ask ya then 'ave our armor melted through, as Red Alert so happily told us would happen."

"So we decided to stare at it," Mirage ended, referring to their previous occupation. He seemed to realize what he had let slip out and fell into his "prim and proper" stance. "We did not wish to disturb you."

"Yeah, you looked like you were gonna throw Prowl across the room before you went to recharge," Sideswipe said as blasé as ever. Sunstreaker removed himself from the door to check what their host was wearing. The red tank top and black flannel night pants must have made her worthy enough to bask in his presence because he turned back to what had caught the Autobots' interest without a word.

Victoria finally looked outside and allowed her mouth to fall open in shock. It was _everywhere!_ Covering the expansive porch, coating the backyard, falling from branches of pine needles, reflecting the sun almost blindingly—nothing had been spared by the invasion of the white substance. And it was _still_ falling in gentle waves.

The young woman felt giddy as she slid the door open and stepped outside. She could vaguely hear Red Alert throwing a hissy fit and even Bluestreak say something in a worried voice. She ignored them and held out a hand to catch some of the stray white flakes. They immediately melted on contact, but that didn't seem to matter as she let out a giddy giggle. "It's snowing! I've never been in a place where it actually _snowed_."

There was a cry behind her, and Victoria turned to see that Bluestreak had followed her out, despite Red Alert's frantic words of caution, and he had fallen into the small pile of snow that had accumulated by the door. She laughed as he tried to shake the snow off of him, his door-wings wiggling up and down in an effort to fling it off. Sideswipe was valiantly trying to help his comrade but it was proving to be difficult as the red twin refused to touch the snow.

Victoria offered the little grey mech a finger to help pull him out of the tiny indent he had created and tried to brush off as much snow as she could. Her efforts were wasted as the sharpshooter's heating systems kicked in and began to melt the snow on him. "How did that happen?"

"This stuff is deeper than I thought it would be."

Victoria's smile vanished as a thought dawned on her. Her whole body began to quiver as she tried to get past the Autobots blocking the door. "It's cold!"

"Ah thought the whole reason fo' ya outer coverin' was ta protect ya from the cold," Jazz said, moving to let the woman inside. As soon as she stepped in, Red Alert attempted to slide the door back in place, but his tiny body didn't provide the right amount of strength to do so. While the twitchy mech struggled to do the impossible, Victoria shook off the snow that hadn't melted and onto the closest mechs, which happened to be Red Alert and Sunstreaker. Red Alert immediately abandoned his task to get the snow off, and Sunstreaker glowered at her, knowing that she had done it on purpose.

"Pajamas aren't the best outfit for doing that," Victoria answered Jazz while once more flicking the melting snow at Sunstreaker. The Diva Mech, as she had dubbed him, let out a growl and shook the water onto his twin. "Besides, it doesn't provide much warmth when the bottom of the legs is soaked with cold water."

"Is that what that white stuff is?" Sideswipe asked, ignoring his brother's attempt to soak him in favor of looking back outside. "That's some funky looking water."

"Not exactly," Victoria said, looking out the door with him. "It's frozen water, and it's a phenomenon that occurs during certain weather conditions. I don't know _exactly_ how it happens, as I'm not a meteorologist, but in the colder climates it's more common than in the warmer ones, like where I live."

Swoop tilted his head up at her. "Me Swoop thought you Victoria live here."

Victoria shook her head. "No, I live farther south in a place called Florida. People down there don't even think about snow. Floridians focus more on the rain and hurricanes."

"Is it harmless?" Red Alert asked, more concerned over the fact that they had been invaded over night by frozen water than the new information that Victoria had revealed about herself.

"Sure," she answered with a shrug. "Unless water causes you guys to rust or something."

"Nope," Sideswipe revealed, and being the little daredevil he was, he took a running leap into the snow. He braced himself to fall through the snow like Bluestreak had, and he smirked when his tiny feet simply made a pair indents on the surface. "Well, maybe if we're exposed to it for a couple of joors. And it seeps in-between our plating…maybe somebody should go get Ratchet."

Jazz joined him on the snow, hopping in place to test the stability of what was under his feet. "Nah! This won't cause much damage."

Mirage shook his head at the two and sat on the edge of the sliding door's track to watch them attempt to walk across the porch and explore the new environment. Red Alert looked as if he couldn't decide whether to convince them to come back in or run off to get someone like Prowl or Optimus to do it for him; Sunstreaker was about to jump out to join his brother when he received a "helpful" push from behind that sent him face-planting into the snow below. Victoria didn't even wait to hear Jazz and Sideswipe's laughter as she left the room to get dressed, with Bluestreak and Swoop on her heels.

"What are you going to do today?" Bluestreak asked, knowing that the project in the attic that had kept her busy for the last few days was complete.

The woman hummed in thought as they reached the bedroom and went to the dresser to pull out an outfit. "I think I'm going to play in the snow."

Swoop interrupted her search by flying to her shoulder and leaning up to inspect her face. "You Victoria download virus?"

"No, I'm not sick," she said, having learned from Ratchet that the majority of Transformer illnesses involved downloading a virus due to insufficient firewalls. Where they were downloading them from was something that he hadn't had the chance to explain to her since Wheeljack had unexpectedly caused a fire in the kitchen shortly after the first half of the explanation. "But I've never seen snow in person before, and this may be my only chance to. Tomorrow I'll get back to cleaning."

"What are you going to do with it?" Bluestreak asked, curious as to what _could_ be done in the frozen water.

"Don't know, maybe make a snowman," Victoria answered, turning her back to them to quickly change. Over the past week, she had come to realize that the mechs didn't care what she did in front of them and half of the time they didn't even understand it. In certain aspects, it was more or less like she was still living alone, and the habits that she had developed over the years, such as changing in the bedroom instead of walking to the bathroom, were hard to break.

When she finished, the young woman dug around in another drawer to find a thick pair of socks to wear. To think, the only purpose the funky, tie dye patterned socks were meant to serve was to make Sunstreaker mad. "Where are the others? I haven't seen them since I woke up."

"Wheeljack sort of, um." Bluestreak paused as Swoop played with the short black strands of hair that fell into Victoria's face while she bent over to pull her socks on. "He kinda…blew himself up." Bluestreak waved his hands around when Victoria shot up straight to look at him directly. "It wasn't that bad! I mean, considering the fact that Wheeljack is still intact is a testimony to _that_. But he was trying to assemble his bo-" He sheepishly backtracked at Victoria's glare. "I mean _device_, when one of the batteries became unstable. He was able to contain it in the dome he was in but got caught in it at the same time."

Victoria sighed and rubbed her temple. She still wasn't certain who had done it, but all of Wheeljack's diminutive inventions were now contained under a huge glass punchbowl that she had dug out from under the counter two days ago. "Wheeljack's Dome," as many had taken to calling it, was a precautionary measure to keep his inventions from causing any massive damage. Surprisingly, Red Alert had been the least happy with it, stating that it would keep the explosion contained, but Wheeljack was in greater danger of being damaged. Apparently, the Security Director had been right.

"Is he okay?" Victoria asked after different images of a mutilated Wheeljack flew through her head.

"Ratchet use wrench," Swoop said, grabbing onto her hair as it passed him. He held onto it long enough for it to pull taut before letting go. He had learned that Victoria got angry when he messed with her decorations, like her hair or the little things that dangled from her ears.

Victoria sighed as the Dinobot continued to play with her hair and focused on Bluestreak. "Do I need to go help them? With the cleaning up, I mean. I'm pretty positive that Ratchet can handle Wheeljack."

Bluestreak shook his head. "No, you're actually not supposed to know about what he did. He said that he didn't want you to put him on restriction or something, like you did with the kitchen appliances."

What else was she supposed to do after the Microwave Incident? Or the Coffeemaker Accident? She didn't even want to discuss the Oven Escapade. The funny thing was that it was _only_the kitchen appliances that he messed up. Everything else either functioned better or the same after his tampering. "Is he that scared of me that he won't even let you guys tell me he got hurt?"

"Oh, we don't fear you," Bluestreak corrected, accepting her offered hand to hitch a ride to their next destination. He made sure that the shoulder he sat on wasn't Swoop's, who flew beside them. "It's more of a respect."

The young woman emitted an un-ladylike snort and moved in the direction of the backroom, keeping an eye out as she entered "Decepticon territory." "You guys respect me? When did that happen?"

"When you took off Sunstreaker's arms, put the Cassettes in the freezer, kicked Barricade across the room, shut Sideswipe outside for the night (by the way, he still flinches at raccoon-shaped shadows), crashed Prowl on purpose because he was 'annoying you,' and almost threw Wheeljack out the window when the microwave exploded," Bluestreak said, counting the list off with his fingers.

"Huh," was all she said as they stopped in front of the utility room. "I thought I had done a lot more than just that."

"You have," he assured her. "That was just some of the first things that came to mind."

"Whoops," Victoria said with little concern and slowly pushed the door open. Over the week, she had only invaded the Decepticon's personal domain twice. Once was to grab a can of disinfectant to clean up one of Wheeljack's botched attempts at making a teleporting device—which gave birth to the Wheeljack Dome—and the second time was to confront Rumble and Frenzy on their latest prank. Both times had ended with her being shot at.

Now it seemed like all the Decepticons were in other locations in the house. That was odd, considering the fact that usually at least one remained behind, primarily Megatron or Bonecrusher. They took half a step in, Bluestreak automatically tensing and Swoop settling on her other shoulder. When an attack didn't come, Victoria stepped fully in and searched for what she had come for.

"Intruders detected." Victoria turned at the sound of the monotone voice and found Soundwave stepping out from behind a bucket by the door. "Autobots and organic femme: Purpose?"

Bluestreak and Swoop were still tense even as Victoria relaxed. Of all the Decepticons, Soundwave was the easiest to deal with. "I'm looking for a jacket I saw in here the other day," she said, bending down to his height. It was a courtesy that she tried to give all of the mini-robots, Decepticon or Autobot. "It's dark green and sort of bulky. I think I saw Skywarp lounging on it."

Soundwave stared up at them, unnerving the Autobots sitting on her shoulders, before slowly pointing over to the dryer. Victoria followed his finger and found what she had been searching for sitting on top of the appliance. She straightened back up to grab the jacket and held it out in front of her. It was big for her, not surprising as it was a male's jacket, but was thick enough to keep her warm while she was outside in the snow. Hopefully, its bulky size wouldn't retain water if the snow melted on it.

"Thank you, Soundwave," Victoria said, receiving distracted nod as they left the room. It was like crossing an invisible barrier—Bluestreak and Swoop immediately relaxed and went back to their normal selves: Swoop now sliding down her arm to poke at the jacket she had grabbed and Bluestreak striking up a conversation.

"I don't see how you can be so calm when invading Decepticon territory," Bluestreak said, holding onto her shirt as she bent down to pick up a stray sock that must have been hiding in the folds of the jacket. "I always expect to be attacked, but I guess that's not really surprising because if it was just me, I would have been shot at. And Soundwave has always given me the creeps. He's so quiet but at the same time has this sort of malevolent aura that follows all the Decepticons around, but he's worse because you have no idea what he's gonna do. And then there's his telepathy. It's crazy scary to know that he _knows _what you're thinking."

Victoria seemed intrigued by this newfound information but didn't comment as they watched Wheeljack run across the hallway from the kitchen and into the living room. Ratchet followed his friend at a walk with his common frown of disapproval. He must have just finished fixing Wheeljack and was anticipating another fixing later. Victoria stopped in front of the living room to let Bluestreak down so he could follow the older Autobots outside before turning to the kitchen to survey what damage Wheeljack had wrought.

She was surprised to see the punchbowl was still intact, albeit blackened on the inside and sporting a hairline crack on the side, and Prowl and Optimus were standing beside it. Optimus looked up as she stepped closer. "Good morning, Victoria. We had a little incident with Wheeljack." Prowl looked over at the punchbowl, as if to somehow contradict how "little" the incident had been. "Fortunately, no lasting damage has been caused."

"I see," the young woman said and reached out to pick the bowl up.

"Wheeljack said not to do that." Prowl stopped her with a swat to the hand, earning a glare. "He said it may be harmful to your organic armor."

"Skin," Victoria automatically corrected. It was like a game they played: the mechs would refer to something by one word, and she would correct them with her own once she had figured out what they were talking about. Likewise, they often corrected her misconceptions. "If it's harmful to me, then it better not be where I can accidentally touch it."

"The harmful substance has been fully contained," Optimus reassured her, though Prowl was still looking at the dome as if to contradict the leader in some way.

Victoria stared at the bowl with the same look. "I don't think it's safe for Wheeljack's Dome to be in the kitchen anymore."

Prowl nodded and began to plan with Optimus on how they were going to move it. Of course, Victoria would be the one who ultimately did the job, but by the time she did, they would have hopefully found a place to put it. Seeing the situation was being handled, the human and her Dinobot companion left the kitchen for their last destination before going outside.

Swoop flew up to pull the string that turned on the closet light and hung from there to watch Victoria rummage around the bottom. "What you Vicky looking for now?"

"Boots," was her simple answer as she pulled out one. Now to find the other… "I can't wear my sneakers in the snow, or the snow will soak right through them."

"Me Swoop think being human too much trouble." Victoria laughed at his statement and pulled out the second boot. Swoop glided down to watch her pull the shoes on. "Humans change too much. We Dinobots have only two modes."

"You get used to it," Victoria said, allowing Swoop to climb up her before standing. "Are you ready to go play in the snow?"

"Me Swoop no play," he said. They left the closet and walked back into the living room where the door was still wide open. A chill had fallen across the room, but with the new warm clothes, Victoria barely noticed. "No want to be covered in water."

Victoria's planned response was interrupted by a "Hey!", and she looked down to see Rumble and Frenzy glaring up at her from the coffee table. She glared back, not having forgiven them for somehow stringing her underwear along the hallway. "What?"

The blue twin pointed at the TV, where the screen was blanketed by its own form of snow. "Your stupid device aint working."

The woman crossed her arms and continued to glare. "So?"

"So?" the red one piped up. "What the frag are we supposed to do now? You're all about this stupid peace-thing—fix it before we start some slag with those sorry Autobots!"

"Do it," Victoria encouraged. "I've been waiting for an excuse to squish you."

Rumble and Frenzy looked at each, silently acknowledging the fact that the organic still somehow reminded them of Soundwave, before jumping off the table to head outside. Frenzy pointed a blue finger up at her as they passed. "You asked for it."

"Excuse me if my fear doesn't show," she replied and watched them jump out the door. They were taken off-guard as they sunk deep into the snow. "I'd like to see you two go anywhere now."

Victoria stepped over their struggling forms and onto the porch. It was just as it had been earlier, only now the sun shone more brightly and the snow had stopped falling. It was a pretty day now that she had had the time to stop and look. The sky was clear and even though it was freezing, the pretty scene of the snow blanketing the yard seemed to negate the temperature.

The majority of the Autobots seemed to have migrated to the porch too. Mirage had dragged his couch out to sit in a patch of sun, and he basked in the light along with Red Alert, who seemed more intent on keeping the snow off of him than relaxing with the spy. Ratchet stood with his hands on his red hips and watching Wheeljack slip down the steps. Bluestreak had joined Sideswipe in the yard, and with the way their heads would move back and forth, it looked like they were looking for something. Or someone, she realized as she caught a fleeting flash of yellow before it ducked behind a small mound of snow. Jazz must have been out there with Sunstreaker since the Special Ops mech was nowhere in sight.

The snow crunched beneath her feet as Victoria walked over to join Ratchet. The medic looked up at her after Wheeljack tumbled off the bottom step, temporarily disappearing in a mound of snow. "Red Alert says this…stuff isn't harmful."

His statement made the young woman roll her eyes. "You guys are so paranoid. The worst that could happen is slipping on the ice like Wheeljack."

The engineer looked up at the sound of his name and waved up to her. Victoria returned the wave as Ratchet said, "War tends to do that."

Victoria felt pity at that statement, but that was all it had been: a statement. There was no overly emotional tone in Ratchet's voice; it was just a proven fact to him. "The only thing you have to worry about is the Decepticons we have hiding out in the dryer."

The medic snorted at her attempt at humor. "I'll remember that." Ratchet looked out to where Sideswipe suddenly took a tiny snowball to the helm. "It would be a good idea to perform a maintenance check on everyone…" He trailed off as the sounds of Rumble and Frenzy's struggle behind them caught his attention. "What are they doing?"

"Trying to be big and bad," Victoria answered, also looking over her shoulder at where the Cassette twins were just climbing out of the hole they had created.

"It not working," Swoop finished before leaping off her shoulder. The Dinobot transformed mid-fall and flew out across the yard to land on the lone birdhouse that sat on the far side of the yard. From there, he watched Sideswipe be pummeled by mini-snowballs while Bluestreak laughed at his partner's misfortune.

"Are you staying out here?" Victoria continued her conversation with the medic.

"No," Ratchet said with a sigh while turning to face the house. "Ironhide somehow damaged his servo while repairing one of his cannons. I'll be fixing him for the next few breems."

"Poor Ratchet," she sympathized, watching the older mech walk back into the cabin. "Your work is never done."

"Tell me about it," he said while walking past the hole made by the Decepticon twins. Rumble and Frenzy yelled insults after him, but the overall effect was lost as the blue twin fell back into the snow. "It seems like no one can go a few nano-klicks without needing _something _repaired. Whatever happened to a 'bot using common sense?"

Victoria smiled as the muttering medic vanished inside. Ratchet would have to come in third place on her list of mechs she enjoyed spending time with, at least when he wasn't asking awkward questions about the human anatomy. With age came wisdom, and with Ratchet that wisdom often came out as a sarcastic quip. He was brutally honest, sometimes to the point when his words seemed more like insults. But that honesty had gained the organic's respect in a way that Prowl's direct way of saying things couldn't.

Sideswipe's yelled insults brought her back to the present, and Victoria took a step down onto the first porch step. The boots she had thought perfect for walking around in the snow proved to have one weakness: ice. Her yelp caught the attention of all the mechs outside as her foot flew out from under her and sent her falling backwards. She allowed her head to fall onto the ice of the porch behind her as pain shot up her back from the abrupt fall. The yard was quiet while she gritted her teeth in an attempt to stay silent (there was telling what she would have to explain if she opened her mouth at that moment). The silence was broken by a pair of loud laughs, and Victoria didn't have to look to know that they belonged to the Autobot twins.

A tiny pair of hands gripped her pants, and Victoria cracked an eye open to see Jazz pulling his body out from beneath the steps. His visor flashed with slight concern as he looked her up and down. "You okay?"

The woman's head fell back with a sigh. "My ego is brutally bruised, and I feel the need to die of embarrassment. Other than that, _sure_. I'm just dandy."

Jazz let out a chuckle he must have been holding in since her fall. "So, the pain aint that bad."

"Go screw yourself, Jazz."

The saboteur began to laugh along with the Twins. The laughter must have assured the others that she wasn't hurt because Bluestreak and Wheeljack started to laugh as well while the others didn't bother to check on her. Victoria sighed and slowly stood up, wincing when she realized she had sat there long enough for the snow to soak the back of her pants. Rumble and Frenzy must have noticed her predicament because their laughter joined the others.

Victoria knocked the chuckling Jazz back under the steps, where he twisted to land on his feet perfectly and turned to the giggling twins in the middle of the yard. A few steps put her directly in front of them, where she bent down to pick up a handful of snow that was promptly placed on top of them. Their muffled protests made her smile, and she turned to the laughing Bluestreak. "You want to help me make my first snowman?"

**[~]**

He _hated_ this stuff! It was awful, terrible…whatever other synonyms he could use! It was evil…why hadn't Shockwave created something like this by now? They could have won the war eons ago! Hatred aside, it was perhaps the worst thing that a Seeker could ever go up against. And the organic was taking advantage of that.

Actually, right now she was doing something with the younger Praxian. They were rolling the abomination into small balls and stacking three on top of each other. Were they trying to create a tiny army of ball people? Whatever they were doing, it was weird to see her add little beads to the top sphere to make it look like they had optics. It was just downright creepy now that he thought about it…

"Skywarp." He heard a sigh behind him and turned to see Thundercracker standing on the limb with him. "What are you doing?"

"Nothun, TC," Skywarp answered with an innocent smile. Thundercracker frowned, utterly unconvinced by the fake innocence. "What are _you_ doing?"

"Looking for Starscream," Thundercracker said, sitting beside his trine mate. His cyan wings twitched as he looked out at the backyard from the high vantage point. "I haven't seen him for a while."

Skywarp's ruby optics danced across the yard in search of the missing SIC. All he saw was the Dinobot lounging on his little house, the stingy Autobots sitting on a couch (that they wouldn't share! Selfish mechs…), the deplorable front-liners and Special Ops mech throwing the stuff at each other, and the engineer doing only Primus knew what by the storage unit. Rumble and Frenzy were plotting something as they climbed along the chairs to the railing on the porch, trying not to slip as it seemed none of the mechs were immune to the slippery surfaces; Barricade was…what _was _Barricade doing? Was he trying to take the couch from the haughty Autobots? Or was he just trying to make it across the porch without falling on his aft? Whatever, Barricade was a strange mech anyway. All the other Decepticons were currently inside.

Then there was the annoying little Autobot sharpshooter making weird snow abominations with Victoria. Skywarp scowled down at the unknowing Autobot. Stupid Autobots.

"Maybe he got buried again," Skywarp suggested after having his fill of scowling. That had been the beginning of Skywarp's hatred to the white stuff that the organic and Autobots insisted on "playing" in. The Seekers had flown out to practice their aerial maneuvers, just like every other day, when they had stumbled upon the strange phenomenon. At first they hadn't had a problem with it; after all, the Autobots weren't suffering by rolling around in it. What harm could it do to them up in the air?

That answer was simple—it could apparently do a lot.

Starscream had been minding his own business, for once, when suddenly a huge clump of the snow fell from the sky. Starscream never stood a chance against the surprise attack and was immediately buried. But he was still somehow able to order Thundercracker and Skywarp to get him out.

"No," Thundercracker said with a sigh. "We would be able to hear him yelling for us to get him out."

Skywarp rubbed his helm and tried not to flinch as the _evil _stuff slid off the pine needles beside them. "Well, if he isn't out here, then he's inside. Maybe he sulked back to the base."

"No," Thundercracker disagreed again, and Skywarp glared at him. If the blue Seeker wasn't going to listen to any of his suggestions, then why ask him to begin with? "Megatron is back at base and still out to get Starscream for not telling him that Victoria was still awake." Thundercracker looked over at his fellow trine mate and frowned at the glare that the warping jet was giving him. "What?"

"Since when has the organic been 'Victoria'?" Skywarp asked, pointing an accusing servo at him. "Are you betraying the cause? Getting buddy-buddy with the enemy?"

Thundercracker stared at him in disbelief. "Skywarp…are you jealous?"

Skywarp scoffed and crossed his arms over his chassis. "What? _Me,_ jealous? You read into stuff too much, TC."

The blue jet stood up, still staring down at his teammate. "I'm going to go ask if _Victoria_ has seen our missing nutcase."

"Stop saying her name!" Skywarp yelled after him as Thundercracker leaped from the branch to transform. "She is the enemy!" He watched his close friend gracefully fly through the air towards the organic and Praxian. "Hey, ask why she hates me so much!"

Victoria looked up at the sound of the tiny jet and watched Thundercracker transform and land in front of her and Bluestreak, the snow beneath him melting from the heat of his thrusters. The blue Decepticon shuffled a bit, having never had their host's direct attention, before asking, "Have you, by chance, seen Starscream lately?"

Victoria scanned the backyard for signs of the second most annoying jet, but she only spotted the most annoying one hiding in a tree behind a bundle of pine needles. "Not since you guys asked me to dig him out earlier."

Thundercracker's expression remained the same, mostly blank and a little curious. His cherry red optics glanced over at the few snowmen Victoria and Bluestreak had been successful at creating. "What exactly are these meant to be?"

"Snowmen," she told him as Bluestreak seemed unnaturally quiet. "Would you like to join us?"

Thundercracker glanced at the Praxian and noted his annoyance. It was too subtle for anyone who wasn't looking close enough to pick up on, but the young Autobot's door-wings were tensed up at a high angle and twitching occasionally. It was common practice among Seekers to show their annoyance in a similar way with their wings. "I should get back to finding Starscream." He shifted a bit. "But Skywarp wants to know why you hate him so much."

Victoria glared over at the tree she had spotted said jet sitting in. She could barely see him twitching away from the snow that had fallen onto the branch beside him. "I find jets that constantly fly around my head annoying."

Thundercracker nodded and looked in the same direction she was. "I'll have to tell him Seeker courting doesn't apply to organics."

"Huh?" was all Victoria managed to get out, her surprise was so great, and Bluestreak seemed to croak as his little engine sputtered. She wasn't able to ask anything because Thundercracker was suddenly distracted as the mystery of Starscream's disappearance was solved. The tri-colored jet strutted out of the cabin and stood on the very edge of the sliding door, hands placed on his cocked hips and his wings flared out wide to make him seem bigger. "Decepticons!"

Rumble and Frenzy looked down at him from the railing they had finally managed to climb onto. "What the slag do you want?"

Starscream glared at them and waited until he had the attention of Barricade, Skywarp, and Thundercracker—the only remaining Decepticons in the yards. "Bow down to your new leader: Starscream!"

The announcement had now caught the attention of the Autobots, and they stared at the Seeker as well. Starscream basked in the attention until Victoria stood from her crouch beside Thundercracker and Bluestreak. "What did you do?"

Starscream frowned. "I used the ultimate weapon at my disposal." He kicked at the little bit of snow that wandered into the house. "This stuff."

Victoria glared at him as she carefully walked up the steps. "Starscream, snow melts when it's taken inside."

"So?"

"If I have to clean up puddles of water, I'm ripping your wing off," she threatened when she finally reached him.

"Leave my wings out of this!" he cried, cringing away from her and instinctively folding his wings against his back. A beam of energy singed the very edge of the wing he was trying to protect, and he yelped while spinning around. "Megatron!"

The little Lego-like toy growled, his gun still smoking from the blast. His tiny form was completely soaked, and Soundwave was dragging a kitchen towel behind him, pressing it into the carpet to absorb the mini-puddles the leader was creating. Starscream cowered at the powerful growl directed towards him. "_Starscream._"

"Lord Megatron," the SIC exclaimed in honest surprise. "You're still alive!" Another beam zipped by his head, and he yelped. "No wait! Lord Megatron, you don't understand-"

"Of all the ways you have tried to extinguish my spark," Megatron growled, continually shooting at the dancing jet, "this has been the worst one yet! You, idiotic mech. It did not harm me, but now you have flooded our base! And for that, you _will _pay!"

Starscream screeched as Megatron's mini-gun managed to singe his side, and he took a running leap out the sliding door, transforming into his second form and fleeing across the yard. Megatron's rage was so great that he followed without a second thought and cursed when he sank into the snow. Victoria silently watched as Barricade carefully backtracked across the patio to assist his leader before looking back down at Soundwave, who was staring at the towel as it soaked up the last bit of water that Megatron had trailed through the house. "Thank you for cleaning up after him."

The indigo mech looked up at her, his mask and red optic band hiding whatever emotions he may have been showing. "Objective: Survival."

"And to survive you're trying to get on my good side," Victoria concluded, and even without any type of acknowledgement, she could tell she was right. "You are a smart Decepticon and have won my respect. Just try to lay off with the creepy staring."

This time he did nod at her and picked up the towel before leaving the room in the direction of the utility room. Ratchet and Ironhide must have passed him because the two of them rounded the corner not long after, both of them watching over their shoulder in the direction they had come in. At least they had refrained from attacking, which was a great improvement compared to the first few days when the Autobots and Decepticons would immediately start shooting at each other the moment they saw the other faction.

Ratchet walked straight to her while Ironhide detoured to the still fuzzy TV. Unlike Rumble and Frenzy, he didn't complain about the state of the TV and instead pressed a button on the controller after climbing onto the coffee table. The screen went black before flashing back on to show two men having an informative conversation about the gun one of them held. Ironhide jumped the gap between table and couch and settled down into a pillow to watch the screen, clenching his right hand every once in a while.

"Take me to Wheeljack," Ratchet ordered with little preamble when he finally reached Victoria. He noticed the confused expression on her face and huffed. "My Wheeljack senses are tingling. That and he just called me saying his left pede got stuck in the snow and the lower half of his leg disconnected, which is completely _his_ fault for running off before I finished with his repairs."

The medic continued to complain even after he had climbed onto the hand Victoria had offered him. They passed all of the mechs on the porch (Mirage was glaring up at the laughing Cassette twins after Red Alert had begun to panic about a surprise attack of snow) and carefully made their way down the steps. In the yard, Sideswipe was finally getting his revenge on Sunstreaker and Jazz, who had both been steadily pummeling him with snowballs, after convincing Swoop to become his air support and drop the snowballs he created onto them from above. Bluestreak and Thundercracker still stood beside the snowmen, Bluestreak still tense as the Seeker spoke to him. Starscream almost flew into them as he fled from Megatron, who was now riding on the roof of Barricade as the scout somehow managed to drive through the snow.

Ratchet's mouth snapped closed when they finally made it to the shed that Wheeljack had been moseying around for the majority of the day. The inventor didn't look disturbed at all as he leaned up against the wall, swinging his disconnected leg in boredom. "Wheeljack-"

"Hello!" Wheeljack cut Ratchet off, waving the hand that held the leg. Victoria crouched down to let Ratchet off, where he stood for a minute to figure out how to properly move without falling into the snow face first. "My, you responded to that comm. a lot quicker than I thought you would. I honestly thought you would make me stand out here without a leg for a good joor or two."

Ratchet said nothing as he walked over to finally stand beside the smiling inventor. Even then his only response was to pull out a wrench to whack the poor mech across the helm. Once the whacking ritual was complete, Ratchet snatched the leg from his hand and went to work on reattaching it. Victoria watched, intrigued to see how the reconnection of the toy limb happened, before addressing Wheeljack directly. "What were you doing out here to begin with?"

Wheeljack, undisturbed by the procedure as it happened too often to be unfamiliar with, pointed towards where the shed door was propped open enough for him to slip through. "I've actually found materials that would assist me in the creation of my current project. The batteries you've allowed me access to have been providing too much energy to support the device, and well, I sorta made them explode this morning, so they're no longer at my disposal to figure out how to modulate the energy output. Besides, there are far more durable metals out here to use."

"Anything you use needs to be approved by me," Victoria insisted. There was no telling what was in the shed that Wheeljack could make explode. "I know you guys want to get home, and I promised to help in any way I could, but I don't want to get killed in the process. Humans can't just reattach limbs like you guys can."

"Of course," Wheeljack said, his fins not lighting up as brightly with his serious tone. "It may not seem like it, but I establish many precautions to keep others out of harm's way when it comes to my inventions."

"Except the few that blow up in the middle of the field," Ratchet grumbled, making Wheeljack flinch as he pushed the leg back into alignment. The medic rubbed his chin and took out a wrench to tighten the leg joint.

"They make excellent bombs," Wheeljack said slightly pained but still attempting to joke. "Better weapons than they were meant to be, if you ask me."

Victoria watched Ratchet grumble and finish up with Wheeljack. Once the medic was finished, the engineer bent his leg back and forth before giving Ratchet a cheerful thumbs up. The medic just sighed and turned back to Victoria, who laid a hand out to pick him up. "I'm going to take Ratchet back inside, and then come back to talk to you about the stuff in the shed."

Wheeljack nodded and waved at them as they began the hike back to the house. Along the way they watched Sideswipe trying to escape a barrage of snowballs since Swoop had betrayed him in favor of Jazz; Barricade had gotten stuck in the snow drift and all of his attempts of getting out were proving futile; Megatron was slowly trudging back to the porch (he had a long way to go); Skywarp, Starscream, and Thundercracker were now flying together in lazy circles and figure eights; and Bluestreak had left the snowmen and was now sitting on the bottom step watching what was going on in the yard. He happily waved up at her and Ratchet when they stepped past him.

On the porch, Rumble and Frenzy had been replaced by Ravage and Laserbeak as the rarely seen Cassettes were no doubt scouting for Soundwave; Mirage had moved the couch as the sun had moved across the sky, so now he and a calmer Red Alert were almost on the opposite side of the porch they had started on(_far_ away from the Decepticons); and Optimus was standing in the doorway as if he had been waiting for them.

Victoria lowered her hand for Ratchet to hop off, and Optimus nodded at them. "Prowl and I have decided on a location for Wheeljack's temporary lab." His optics winked in a blink as Ratchet walked past him muttering something about "maintenance checks." He shook his helm and looked back up at Victoria, who was kicking the snow off the bottom of her boots in preparation of coming inside. "Whenever you have the time-"

The Prime was cut off as an angry yell came from the couch. "What the—how the frag did you get the thing to work, old-timer?"

Ironhide glared down at the twins that dared to interrupt him. "I used my processor to fix it!"

"You saying we're dumb, Auto-boob?" Frenzy yelled up at him.

"I aint the one who said it."

Frenzy and his twin began to yell insults up at the older mech, who happily countered with his own. Optimus sighed and looked up at Victoria, who looked exactly how he felt. "As I was saying, whenever you have the time, Prowl and I will be happy to assist you with the move."

Victoria nodded and watched Rumble and Frenzy get wound up. She had gone all day without any problems from the Decepticons. But when had the Decepticons been fair to her?

"Vicky!" She looked over her shoulder to see Bluestreak waving his hands to get her attention. When he had gotten it, he pointed in the direction of the shed, which she couldn't see from inside the house, with a worried frown. "There's smoke coming out of your storage unit."

Wheeljack was on the very edge of being as bad as the Decepticons when it came to nuisances. At least they had given her most of the day to relax.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Oh Wheeljack, will you ever learn? I know I said earlier that Skywarp wasn't going to be in love with Victoria but…making him have a crush was just too hard to pass up, and I've been given ideas on what to do with the crushing mech (all of which is thanks to my sister). And a note on the Transformers having to eat in order to keep going (because it's a weird concept when you stop to think about it)-I'm not sure if anyone has ever thought about it, but how else could they keep going without Energon? Anything that is active needs energy, and they're getting energy from breaking down the food. Since it isn't their real bodies (Wheeljack's Theory!) they're able to get by with food instead of having to find some other alternate source...anyway that's just my take on it and that's what works for me :)

Since I've finished my only other story on fanfiction, I'm contemplating changing my update day. If I do change it, the new day will be **Saturday** instead of Monday. If that happens, I'll have another chapter up by then; if not, then expect the updates to remain on Monday :)

**EDITED: 1/8/2014 (Grammar; broke up paragraphs at beginning for less eye sore; added some description/detail)**


	8. Knowing Your Guests

**AN:** Welcome to my new updating day! Yep, I'll be updating on Saturdays from now on instead of Mondays. Now I can stop pretending to be editing my chapters on the weekends when I'm doing everything but that. Anyway before we start, the time units used are as follows:

Nano-klik: ~1 second  
>Breem: ~8.3 minutes<br>Orbital Cycle: ~1 month  
>Orn: 13 days<br>Vorn: 83 years  
><em><br>"Thinking"  
>:Comm. Talk:<br>_**~Bond Speech~**

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Seven

Knowing Your Guests (and Host)

* * *

><p><strong>Day 9<strong>

It was official: Eric had been a hoarder. It seemed like he kept everything he had ever owned. Victoria had even come across old pictures that she had drawn for him from when she had gone through her phase of wanting to be an artist like him. It was…nice that he had kept the horrible drawings. Until she found a dead cockroach in the bottom of the box. That took some of the sentimental value away.

Victoria was currently in the third room upstairs that she had somehow mistaken for a closet. If she had thought the attic was horrible, this room was worse. She had been intent on cleaning it up and moving on to Eric's studio, but when she had seen the many boxes and containers stacked on top of each other she had almost cried. The universe was laughing at her right now—she could hear it!

…she had to get out of this cabin before she lost what little sanity she had left.

Victoria grunted as she shoved a box in the direction of the hallway. On the plus side, her donations to Goodwill would be enough to keep her from ever feeling guilty again.

"Vicky!"

The woman looked up from the box she was shoving to see Sideswipe and Sunstreaker enter the room at a run. Sunstreaker ducked behind one of the plastic containers while Sideswipe made a beeline for her. He came to a halt in front of her box, his fans working overtime to cool him down. "Vicky, you have to help me!"

Victoria rested her arms on top of the box and leaned over to properly see the young red and black mech on the other side. "What's wrong?"

"The Hatchet's on a rampage," he said, reaching up like Bluestreak often did to signal that he wanted to hitch a ride on her shoulder. The move didn't seem to have any effect on her, so he gave up and instead tried to climb up the smooth surface of the cardboard box. "You gotta hide me!"

Victoria blinked as a wrench appeared out of nowhere and knocked Sideswipe over. She looked up to see Ratchet walking through the door with an expression of annoyance. Sideswipe stood back up but swayed back and forth as his equilibrium hadn't yet been restored. It gave the red and white medic enough time to cross the short expanse of space between them and grab one of the horns that adorned the top of Sideswipe's helm. "What have we learned today?"

"Never run to the organic for help," Sideswipe said, cringing as Ratchet yanked him out of the room. "I demand a witness to be in the room when you attempt to reconfigure me into a microwave."

"Now why would I do that?" Ratchet asked with an innocence that didn't suit him. "I hold no grudge against you. Other than the fact that you locked me in a cabinet, or that you and your brother are the reason we're here right now. Let's not forget how you _flooded_ my med-bay before we came here. Or the time before that when both of you spiked the public Energon dispenser."

"That was the Mini-Bots trying to get back at Sunny!" Sideswipe defended while grabbing the doorframe to keep Ratchet from dragging him any farther. "I don't wanna die at the hands of a cranky medic!"

"Now you're doing this just to annoy me!" Ratchet said, and his annoyance was more prominent now as he swung a wrench down onto Sideswipe's head. The younger mech's bright indigo optics dulled as he slumped over. Ratchet took the sudden slumping in stride and had the front-liner draped across his shoulder before he could hit the floor. "Now that _that's_ been settled." Ratchet's optics scanned the room. "I know you're in here,Sunstreaker, so let it be known that _you're next."_

His ominous message delivered, Ratchet left the doorway with Sideswipe, leaving Victoria and Sunstreaker behind. Victoria was surprised by the sudden chill that the medic had somehow created as Sunstreaker lightly stepped out from his hiding place. "Now what was that all about?"

"The Hatchet's been unleashed," Sunstreaker said cryptically. He walked towards the boxes she was currently sorting through. "He's giving everyone a thorough maintenance check. I think he's even trying to check the Decepticons."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Victoria asked while labeling a box with a sharpie. "Wouldn't you rather he found a small problem and fixed it before it became a big one?"

"I'll admit that Ratchet is one of the best mechs from the medical caste," Sunstreaker said, managing to climb up enough boxes to be roughly the same height as Victoria, who sat by said boxes. "But it is _not_ a good idea to get on his bad side before maintenance checks. He's not the gentlest mech to begin with, but when he's in one of his moods…"

The young brunette looked up at him as he trailed off and saw that the moodiest mech of all was watching the door as if Ratchet would suddenly reappear to knock him off the box with a wrench. "Maybe you should think twice about getting on his bad side."

Sunstreaker looked up at her as if she was crazy. "What else are me and my brother supposed to do?"

An exasperated eye roll was his only answer as Victoria got back to digging through boxes. "As 'troubling' as your problems are—get out. I have stuff I need to get done before Ratchet comes to try and shove a sandwich down my throat."

"What?" Sunstreaker exclaimed at his sudden eviction. He jumped up to place his fists on his hips in an offended stance. "Why can't I stay here? Mirage stayed holed up wherever the frack you two were, and you didn't have a problem with him!"

"Mirage helped," Victoria argued, barely pausing to glance up at the mech. "A concept I'm sure is foreign to you."

Diva Mech snorted. "And what did the hoity-toity noble do? Sit on his aft and direct you on how to move boxes?"

"No," the young woman said with a glare. "Mirage helped me sort things and decide what was worth keeping. And I now know how much I could possibly get for it back on Cybertron."

Sunstreaker glared at how she so casually went back to digging through boxes, completely dismissing his presence. "I don't see what's so likable about you. You're boring as pit and have even moodier mood swings than I do."

Sunstreaker's reflexes were much quicker compared to the first time they had met, and he was able to jump out of the way and take a semi-defensive position the instant Victoria paused in her search. But she didn't seem interested in him at the moment as she maneuvered around the boxes to peek out of the window that looked out into the backyard. "Has Ratchet checked Wheeljack yet?"

The yellow Lamborghini snorted, falling out of his defensive position now that he knew the human wasn't about to flick him. "Wheeljack doesn't need a maintenance check when Ratchet has just about all of his systems memorized by now."

"Have you seen him this morning?" Victoria asked while moving around to look out the window from a different angle. She was barely able to see the very corner of the shed that was stationed so far off to the side of the yard.

"I don't keep track of everybot," the yellow mech said petulantly, sitting down on the edge of the box. "He's probably off making something explode."

"That's what I'm worried about," the young woman mumbled and started out of the room. Sunstreaker followed after an exclamation of disgruntlement. "I'm not too keen on letting Wheeljack be alone for long periods of time…"

They left the room, Victoria at a brisk pace and Sunstreaker running to keep up with her, and started down the stairs to the first floor. Surprisingly, everything was pretty quiet on the bottom floor. If they weren't trying to kill each other, the Transformers were usually up to _something _that would make a considerable amount of noise for beings of such small size. But with Wheeljack's lab being moved to the shed, Sideswipe out of commission (leaving Sunstreaker to wander around with Victoria), and the Decepticons suspiciously quiet, the house was calm…it was creepy.

"Where is everyone?" Victoria asked while searching the hallway as they walked towards the living room. Without looking back at Sunstreaker, who had opened his mouth to respond, she waved her hands as if to shush him. "I know, I know. You don't keep track of everybody."

He huffed but continued to follow as they reached the living room. The TV was being changed in rapid succession, so quickly that it didn't even have time to make sound. Victoria stepped around the couch to see that it was being done by Jazz, who finally landed on a channel after glancing up to see her. "Wha's up, Vicky? Ya lookin' kinda worried."

"Yeah, it's like everyone has vanished," the woman answered, sitting down beside him. Sunstreaker joined them after climbing up her leg and arrogantly sitting on her knee. "Even the Decepticons are being quiet."

"That's 'cause everyone's hidin' from Doc-bot," Jazz said with a smile, turning back to channel flipping. "Ya gotta get in early to catch ol' Ratch' in a good mood."

"Let me guess, you were one of the first," Victoria said as the TV landed on an action movie. Sunstreaker scooted back until he was leaning up against her stomach with one leg casually dangling over the side. Jazz's grin was a good enough of an answer. "Do you know if Wheeljack was?"

Jazz rubbed his chin in thought. "Let's see…I know fo' a fact that O.P. was first. Then there was Prowler, an' Ah came next. Swoop's helpin', so he'll prob'ly be one o' the last…" He trailed off with a shrug. "Ah'm not sure who came after me, but Ah wouldn't be surprised if 'Jack got outta the check altogether. Ratchet _does _know the guy inside and out."

Victoria sighed and her eyes strayed to the TV. She leaned forward, disrupting Sunstreaker from his spot and earning a growl of anger. "Oh hey, I've seen this before_._ My dad used to love this movie."

Jazz tossed the controller to the side and settled down into the cushion. "Guess Ah'll be watchin' this 'til everyone gets done with Ratchet." He glanced over to where Sunstreaker had slid off Victoria's leg to sit on the couch beside her. "'Cept you. Ya oughta just go get it over with before Ratchet gets _really_ annoyed."

Sunstreaker just snorted while leaning against Victoria's leg, and he grumbled even more when she decided to get up the moment he was comfortable. "I should really go check on Wheeljack."

Jazz shrugged while glancing up at her before focusing on the TV. If there was one thing that the Autobots and Decepticons had in common, it was the mutual interest they shared in the device. At this point Victoria couldn't remember the last time the TV had been turned off without loud protest. "If ya want to, but he's a grown mech an' doesn't need ta be checked on ev'ry nano-klik o' the day."

"He also has a habit of making things explode."

"Point taken."

Victoria's phone went off at that moment, and she groaned. That would be her warning alarm to get started on lunch before Ratchet came to find her. Ratchet was a good medic, despite his grouchy exterior, and he took care of anyone he considered a patient. Unfortunately, Victoria had become one of them when the medic had discovered that she was a little underweight for her age and height. He hadn't fully grasped that she was only lighter by a pound or two, and it wasn't that big of a deal, but the robot doctor was slowly learning how to handle organic patients.

"_Now, which is the greater of my fears?"_ Victoria asked herself while glancing between the kitchen and the door that led to the backyard. _"My fear that Wheeljack will blow us sky high or Ratchet's wrenches?"_

The young woman headed to the kitchen while saying, "I'm making lunch and _then_ going to check on Wheeljack. Do either of you need anything?"

"Nope," Jazz said, not at all surprised by her choice. "Ah'm good fo' another few solar cycles."

Sunstreaker just grunted, and Victoria took that as a "no." If it wasn't, then oh well. The moody mech should learn how to speak English to avoid such confusions in the future. She wasn't even out of the living room when she heard a yelp from the kitchen and the now familiar sounds of gunfire. Quickly, but still cautiously, Victoria entered the kitchen to see the reclusive Bonecrusher skating across the kitchen and taking a swipe at Bluestreak's head. Bluestreak yelped again and ducked behind the leg of the table where Ironhide stood with his gun focused on the tan Decepticon while Mirage materialized in front of Bonecrusher and managed to trip the Decepticon before vanishing again.

"Bonecrusher, you bit-brain!" Rumble yelled from where he stood on the counter with Ravage. "Is there anything in that empty helm of yours?" The red Cassette paused to glance over at the feline Decepticon, who was looking back at him with bright burgundy optics. "Damn it, Ravage, I know there isn't anything in something when it's _empty!_ You and the boss are way too literal sometimes."

"What are you doing?" Victoria nearly shrieked, grabbing Bonecrusher by his claw when he attempted to take back off across the room towards Bluestreak and Ironhide. Bonecrusher growled and managed to twist around enough for his plating to catch on the skin of her hand. Victoria hissed in pain and nearly dropped him. "Have you learned nothing from the many times you've lost an arm over the last week?" Garbled gibberish was spat at her. "That's it. Let's see what you're yelling at me when you can't move because you lost your legs _and_ arms!"

"Hold up!" Rumble yelled at her. The dark-haired woman looked up to see the normally trouble making Cassette looking at her with a serious glint in his visor. "That fragger nearly took Soundwave's head off the last time he tried to fix his arms. You're punishing everyone _except _Bonecrusher when you take off his arms because that pit-scum doesn't care!"

Victoria looked down at the wiggling, gibberish speaking mech in her hand. It was true—the punishments seemed to have made the other mechs take her more seriously and tread lightly around her. Bonecrusher, on the other hand, kept blatantly breaking the few rules she had established, and after the first time, he hadn't even been fazed at losing an arm. Obviously, what kept the other mini-Transformers in line didn't have any effect on Bonecrusher.

She swung the mech around by his claw as she glanced around the kitchen, looking for an idea on how to punish Bonecrusher. There never had been a backup if Plan A failed. They may have been toys, but Victoria had gone on the chance that they felt pain on some level. And, obviously, losing an arm had fallen on that level, or in the least case been embarrassing enough for them to not be so eager to cross her. Grey eyes caught the sight of a fairly good sized jar behind where Rumble and Ravage stood, and she made her way to that part of the counter.

The Autobots on the floor watched with curiosity as Victoria came to a stop in front of the Cassettes and reached for the jar. "So, the Autobots aren't the only ones Bonecrusher is causing trouble for." Rumble shrugged, and Ravage slinked to the side in order to avoid making contact with the human. "Then that means Bonecrusher will have to have his own form of punishment."

The jar was slid forward to sit beside the red Cassette, and Victoria lifted the lid to see that it was thankfully empty, save for a few granules that could have been sugar. She lifted her hand and dropped the tan Transformer in before quickly slamming the lid on top. With a gesture to Rumble, she said, "Look over there in the third drawer from the wall. There should be a roll of tape in there."

Rumble nodded in slight shock and did as the woman said, returning with a small roll of duct tape after a couple of seconds. Using one elbow to keep the lid shut, as Bonecrusher was loudly trying to lift it, she ripped off a decent length of the adhesive and placed it on the jar so that one end was stuck to the lid while the other stuck to the jar itself. She repeated this three more times until the lid barely nudged with Bonecrusher's efforts.

"This is what will be known as solitary confinement," Victoria said while putting the tape back in its proper place. Rumble knocked on the side of the jar and snickered at Bonecrusher's muffled curses. "Only the most severe breaking of the rules will result in this punishment. Unless you're Bonecrusher, then that's your punishment for everything."

Rumble laughed out loud now that his knocks were being answered with Bonecrusher's furious fists smashing against the ceramic. "Why didn't you do this sooner? How long can we keep him in there?"

"About ten minutes." At the smaller mech's look of confusion, Victoria backtracked with the realization that unlike the Autobots, none of the Decepticons had bothered to figure out what human terms were synonymous with in their language. Unless they were curse words, as Rumble had demonstrated earlier. "A little over a…breem, I think. And I only did this because out of all of the Decepticons, I like Soundwave the most and wouldn't want to give him any trouble after how well-behaved he has been." She glanced down at the three Autobots still standing silently on the floor. "Now, what were you doing in here to begin with?"

"The pit if I know what _they_ were doing," Rumble answered first with a slight pause to sneer down at the three mechs. "But me and Ravage here were sent out to find some fuel."

Victoria frowned at the Cassette. "What do you guys need fuel for?"

"So we don't fall over into stasis," he said with a tone that suggested it should have been obvious. And to make sure it _was_ something obvious he added a "Duh" for good measure.

It suddenly clicked as to why all of the mechs referred to food as fuel. Cybertronians didn't normally run on organic food—they relied on that stuff called "Energon" like Ratchet had told her once. Victoria was pretty sure they didn't normally consume the food the same way either. "But Skywarp steals cookies all the time. How could the Decepticons be in danger of falling into stasis?"

"The glitch never shares!" Rumble shouted crossly, and Victoria smiled as his sullen stance reminded her of a small child pouting over a toy he couldn't play with. "And he never tells where he gets it from. He just throws the slag at us and flies off giggling like the idiot he is."

The woman sighed with little surprise over the jet's antics and moved down the counter to dig in the cabinet above it. She grabbed a blue package and pulled out the tray of cookies she had hidden from Swoop, least the Dinobot start flying in endless circles again. Two chocolate chip cookies were taken from the tray, which were then placed on the counter beside Rumble. "Ratchet says that a sixth of a cookie is more than enough to last a mech for two days. Anymore and you'll be as spastic as Red Alert on a good day."

Rumble snatched a cookie up with a "yeah, yeah," and jumped off the counter. Ravage followed after awkwardly taking the second cookie in his (or was it her? Victoria would have to ask Soundwave or one of the twins about that later) jaw and left the room after sending Victoria a wary glance.

Victoria sighed again and finally turned to the Autobots, ignoring the continued efforts of Bonecrusher to escape the newly established Jar-of-Solitary-Confinement. "Now, did you three need anything?"

Bluestreak shook his head and held his arms out expectantly. His tall friend crouched down and allowed him to crawl up her arm to her shoulder. "Ratchet _just_ let us go. We hadn't even had time to do anything before 'Crusher came out of nowhere and charged at us. Ironhide was just defending himself by the way, and so was Mirage, so don't punish them."

Ironhide looked a little put out to have the young mech beg for him, but Victoria just chuckled. "I wasn't going to punish you guys anyway. Knowing him, Bonecrusher probably needed a bullet to the leg or something." She casually reached backwards to stop the rapidly tilting jar and righted it again. Bonecrusher let out a new string of Cybertronian curses. "But that doesn't mean I favor any of you."

"'Course not," Ironhide drawled while fighting a smirk. "Yer just as cold to us as ya are to the 'Cons."

"Hey," she said back with a slightly teasing tone. "I have pretty decent conversations with some of them. Like Thundercracker and Soundwave…at least I think Soundwave. Half the time I think he ignores me unless he needs something or is following Megatron's orders."

Ironhide chuckled and walked across the room to the chair they used to climb up and down from the counter. The younger mechs could easily climb up other ways or jump down without a fear of severely damaging themselves, but Ironhide had pointedly said that he wasn't as young as he used to be. And for that, Victoria could relate with him. Sometimes she felt a lot older than twenty-five.

Mirage made a sound with his vocalizer that sounded strangely like a person clearing his throat, but it brought their attention to him, which was the whole point. "I do not mean to cut in, but it appears you are leaking some sort of red substance from the wound you obtained while holding Bonecrusher."

Victoria twisted her hand around to see and heard Bluestreak gasp at the tiny bit of blood that leaked from the scrap. "Primus, I didn't even see that! Is it bad? Do you need Ratchet? That red stuff isn't harmful is it? Is there some way to stop it? Can you-"

"Now, hold up, Bluestreak!" Ironhide cut him off as he reached the top of the counter. He walked toward them and leaned over the edge to get a closer look. "Aw, that aint nothin'! When Ravage attacked ya there was way more red stuff than that, and you told Ratchet those wounds were nothin'."

"It's fine," Victoria reassured the Praxian when Ironhide's words didn't. "It's nothing but a small scratch that needs medicine." The jar shuttered behind her. "Now, who's going to stay here and let Bonecrusher out when his time is up?"

Victoria had never seen the Autobots clear a room so fast.

**[~]**

The melted snow slushed beneath her feet as Victoria made her way to the shed. In her hand was a plate with a sandwich and a couple of chips circling it—her lunch for the day. After letting Bonecrusher out, who immediately left the kitchen while yelling a mixture of Cybertronian and human curses at her, Victoria had decided to kill two birds with one stone and eat lunch while checking on Wheeljack.

She reached the shed and managed to squeeze through the door without opening it all the way. The bare light bulb that hung from the ceiling along with the rays of sunshine that peaked through the cracks of the walls illuminated the shed enough for her to see just about everything; especially the empty space near the middle that had been cleared to accommodate Wheeljack's portable punchbowl, which was now propped on a brick to sit at an angle that allowed the mech to get in and out but at the same time keep an explosion in. It had taken Wheeljack a good deal of talking to get it moved out to the shed instead of into the closet, where Prowl and Optimus had decided was the safest place for it to be. Wheeljack had appealed to Prowl's logical processor that it would be safer _and_ easier for Wheeljack to work if it was in the shed. Then he had looked at Victoria with such hopeful cerulean optics until she caved and let him move out here.

Now the brunette could see the scientist welding some metal together with a miniature welder that he must have hidden in the conveniently endless "pockets" that all of the Transformers seemed to have. Bluestreak had tried to explain to the human how the subspace thing worked, but he kept trailing off on other thoughts that he had finally asked Jazz to explain it to her…who had to ask Prowl to explain after getting nowhere…who crashed when Victoria got tired of his complex explanation and asked where robot babies came from, which led to Bluestreak blabbing the question to Ratchet, which led to the medic explaining something that Victoria seriously didn't want to hear and demanding that she reciprocate with the explanation of human reproduction. No one ever tried to explain how subspaces worked again.

Wheeljack seemed unaware of her entrance as he went about welding the small rectangular object he had sitting on a small piece of brick that served as a table. There was another brick sitting on the other side of the bowl with a small spool of copper wire, a magnet, and a roll of masking tape that Wheeljack had asked for the day before propped up against the brick. As she sat down on the dirt floor beside the bowl, Victoria couldn't help but think that it looked more like a science fair project than the serious project of a highly advanced alien engineer.

She patiently waited for said engineer to turn the welder off before tapping on the top of the glass. It turned out to be a good idea since the tap seemed to spook Wheeljack and almost made him toss the tiny box he had made at her. "Primus above, girl, you nearly gave me a spark attack!"

"Sorry," Victoria said sincerely, watching Wheeljack duck under the lip of the bowl to come stand next to her. She made a gesture at the plate she had sat on her lap. "I decided to come and eat lunch with you."

"I am truly honored," Wheeljack said humorously while climbing up onto her bent knee. "But I'll have you know, I'm not messing with anything combustible today."

The woman strategically hid her embarrassment by taking a bite out of the sandwich. Once she had swallowed, Wheeljack had been thoroughly distracted by a salty chip he twirled around to view from every angle. "I came out here to see if you were hiding from Ratchet like everyone else."

Wheeljack's fins flashed with his speech as he broke the chip apart. "Why would I be hiding from old Greasefingers?"

Victoria choked on a chip when she tried not to laugh at Wheeljack's nickname for Ratchet. No one had ever called the medic anything but Ratchet, the Hatchet, or the shortened version of both. Wheeljack looked fascinated at the sounds she was making. One good cough dislodged the chip and allowed her to return her attention to the mech, who had managed to break every chip on her plate and arrange them into some sort of picture that only he could see. "I've never heard you guys call him that."

"It's not as popular as the Twin's nickname," Wheeljack stated while losing interest in the food. "But why would I be hiding from him?"

"He's doing maintenance checks today." Victoria tore the crust off from the rest of her sandwich and didn't comment when the mech used it to border his chip picture. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker made it sound like the check-ups were worse than facing an entire army of Decepticons alone."

"It's not that bad!" Wheeljack paused to sneak a glance at the door. "But tell Ratchet that I'll be…occupied for the rest of the cycle and not to bother looking for me."

Victoria shook her head and looked over at the punchbowl while eating the last bit of the sandwich. "So, how far are you with your teleporting thingy?"

Wheeljack hopped off of her leg to retrieve the box he had been welding. "I have the frame done! But it took a lot longer than I had anticipated. For one, I had to find a durable enough metal within this maze of junk, then cut it down to my size, and weld it together. The good part is that the only thing I need to do now is get the innards put together."

"The bad news?" she prompted when he stopped to fiddle with the box.

"I'm not entirely sure I can find those materials here," Wheeljack said as he glanced around the shed. "My resources are—not meaning to offend—fairly primitive."

"You seemed confident you could make it before," Victoria said, pushing her plate aside so she could bend down closer to him. "Heck, you thought you could make it with a pair of AA batteries alone."

"Yes, well that was before they exploded on me," the masked mech said with a tint of sarcasm. "I mean, really, how was I supposed to know that rubbing them together would elicit such a reaction?"

Victoria bit her lip to keep in her response that it probably would have only happened to him. Looking for something else to say, her eyes fell on the other brick crowded with tools. "What about that?"

The inventor looked over to where she pointed and shrugged. "Energon cells were what fueled my original device. Since that does not exist in this dimension, I'm branching out to other alternative sources."

"So you're making a tiny generator?"

Victoria jumped at Wheeljack's sudden cry of joy and the way he suddenly glued himself to the side of her face. "You understand me! I have never met someone outside of Ratchet and Perceptor who could."

The brunette shut her left eye to avoid going blind because of Wheeljack's vivid blue vocal fin that shone right into it. "Uh, yeah, about that…I only knew because my brother helped me make one back in the fifth grade for a science fair project, and we used the same stuff."

"Oh, well," Wheeljack said with little disappointment as he let go. "I didn't want to be understood anyhow." She smiled as he strolled back into his dome to place the future dimension-hopper on its brick. "To answer your earlier question: yes, that is what those are for. But I won't have to worry about that if I can't make the device to begin with…"

Victoria looked around the crowded shed, spotting the Lawnmower-of-Doom that had chased the four Autobots around the cabin. "Hey, you made a device from a couple of pieces of old wire, a paperclip, and tiny battery you found lying around that sent a lawnmower on a rampage."

All she got in response was a shrug. "That was child's play. This is a tad more serious than that."

With a scratch to the head, Victoria watched Wheeljack begin to strip a filament of wire from its rubber tubing. "If you can't find what you need, I'll take you to a hardware store. Maybe we can find something there."

The woman got another shrug, and her patience began to wane. "What's wrong? You normally try to explain how something works or how you make it work or something! What's with the silent treatment?"

Wheeljack turned back to her and his fins flared brightly. "I don't know how I'll make this work! Half of the materials I need, I have no hope of finding on this planet. I can't even guarantee that it'll work without Energon fueling it. Not to mention we're on a deadline here of one orbital cycle! And my batteries exploded…"

Victoria blinked at the last part that was quietly spoken. Apparently, Wheeljack didn't do very well under pressure. Either that or the fact that he was the only way for the Autobots _and_Decepticons to get home, his predicament over the lack of materials, and his current size had created a little too much stress for him to handle. She imagined it didn't help that she occasionally hovered to make sure nothing caught on fire, and she felt bad that he was working with a time limit because of her.

Victoria lifted the dome of glass aside, making Wheeljack's optics dim in confusion, before grabbing the wire, magnets, and masking tape he was planning to use to make a generator with. She stood up with them after replacing the glass bowl. "You worry about making that bomb. _I'll_ figure out how to power it without it exploding."

"But I thought you were busy doing other things."

"I can find time to make this."

Wheeljack's fins lit up to one of the brightest settings she had witnessed. "Does that make you my assistant?"

"Don't push it, mad scientist," Victoria answered while bending down for the forgotten plate of crushed chips. "You shouldn't have to be the only one who handles this. I promised to help from the beginning, and that's what I'm doing. Maybe there'll be fewer accidents this way."

Wheeljack hummed in disbelief. "Don't count on it. Explosions and destruction follow me everywhere. If it suddenly stopped, then I'd probably make them on purpose to keep me sane."

Victoria laughed and left the shed after reminding Wheeljack about Ratchet's medic rampage. She missed how the inventor began to make an impenetrable wall of metal around the entrance to his bowl and then hunkered down behind a brick to vigilantly watch the door.

**[~]**

"All Ah'm sayin' is that we've been here over half an orn an' we still don't know much 'bout our host."

Prowl glanced over to where his friend walked beside him. "And you have come to me about this _why?_"

"You're not even a little curious?" Jazz asked with a grin and flash of his optic band. "Ah thought that _you_ o' all mechs would want ta do a background check on our Vicky."

Prowl's frown deepened at the mention of his lack of information. "Why don't you gather this information on your own? I thought that was part of your job description."

The saboteur just grinned as they reached the entrance to the living room. Across the hallway in the kitchen, Ratchet was trying to catch Sunstreaker, the only Autobot left for a maintenance check. But the yellow mech didn't seem too eager to be caught, seeing as he made sure to keep out of the medic's reach. In the living room, Bluestreak and Swoop were playing a game that Victoria had set up for them. It involved moving red and black plastic discs, one color for each player, around a checkered board while jumping your opponent's pieces to claim them. Ironhide, Mirage, and (surprisingly) Thundercracker were looking on as Swoop jumped three of Bluestreak's pieces and snatched them off the board to join his slowly growing pile. The subject of their conversation sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and was using it as a desk for her computer and the notebook she was writing in.

Jazz slightly nudged the strategist in that direction, ignoring the annoyed fluttering of Prowl's wings. "Ah've been gatherin' information, an' believe it or not you an' Vicky think a lot alike. In fact, she treats me 'bout the same way you do: a distraction ya learn ta love an' secretly enjoy."

Prowl shook his helm and headed towards the organic before Jazz could nudge him again. If there was one thing he had learned from the many vorns of working with the music loving mech, it was that when Jazz had an idea he tended to stick with it until it was complete. There was no arguing with him, unless you wanted to be cleverly maneuvered into agreeing anyway.

The SIC glanced over his door-wing to see Jazz send him a positive grin and a hand signal requiring only his thumb to stick up while the rest of his servo was clenched in a fist, another human gesture the TIC seemed to have picked up during their short stay. Prowl sighed as he turned away to see the coffee table and its only occupant looming closer and closer. Why was it that it always felt like he was getting more than he bargained for when it came to Jazz?

Instead of heading straight to the table, Prowl detoured to grab the cloth called a "throw blanket" that dangled off the edge of the sofa. He climbed up and jumped across the gap to land on the table beside the notebook. _"What an archaic form of communication," _he thought with slight abhorrence while at the same time longing for one of the data-pads he used to keep on his person at all times. Of course, the one fight he didn't subspace one before was the one fight he got sent to an alternate dimension. Life was cruel to the logical 'bot.

Prowl stepped up to stand beside the computer their host was typing at and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. When she went about doing everything _but_ acknowledge him for nearly a breem (he knew that _she_ knew he was there because she had glanced up at him once before going back to reading the screen in front of her), he frowned and a made a slightly static filled noise with his vocalizer. He had heard the humans do it in one of the movies the Twins and Bluestreak had watched, and had witnessed Mirage somehow figuring out how to make the noise himself and gain their host's attention in a more subtle way then yelling at her.

It did its job, and soon gunmetal grey, organic optics were staring straight at him. "Oh, hi, Prowl. Do you need anything?"

…why couldn't Jazz have done this? Prowl wasn't good at small talk, and if what Jazz had said was true, he knew that Victoria would change the subject if he jumped right in with a personal question. After all, that was exactly what he would do. So…small talk… "I understand that you created a new form of punishment."

"Bluestreak must have told you about Bonecrusher," Victoria said with a glance over at said Praxian, who was victoriously taking one of Swoop's red discs. "Yeah, I named it the Jar-of-Solitary-Confinement, but I told them they would receive that punishment in only severe cases. Like the fact that Bonecrusher hasn't learned anything from losing an arm."

Prowl nodded, and Victoria turned back to the computer, effectively dismissing him. "So…" She looked back up as he paused. "…has Wheeljack created anymore problems?"

_:You are the worst small talker there is Prowler.: _Prowl glanced over at the doorway Jazz stood in as the TIC's voice came over the private comm. link the two officers shared.

_:And what do you propose I say?: _he hissed back while Victoria shortly answered his question.

Over by the doorway, Jazz rubbed the tip of one of his audial horns in thought. _:Ask her why the snow is gone.:_

Prowl frowned as the question didn't hold much of a point but asked anyway. He received a shrug. "I guess one overnight storm wasn't enough to make it stick."

"What is the weather like where you live?" the strategist asked as Jazz relayed to him the question.

Another shrug. "It's really hot and mostly humid, especially in the summer time. Florida gets a lot of rain during that time."

"So you do not normally live here?" Prowl asked, ignoring Jazz now that he had gotten started.

"No." Another short reply with the subtle air of dismissal accompanying it.

"Is there a reason for your current living situation?"

"Have you ever made a decision that you wished you could change?"

Prowl froze at the sudden question. He could see Jazz tilting his head in confusion as he listened to their conversation through the comm. link. "I…have on few occasions."

"What did you do about it?" Victoria asked, looking much more focused than she had earlier.

The mech twitched his door-wings as unwanted memories surfaced. "I moved on. There was no logical reason to continue to ponder what had already been done when there was no hope of changing it." He glanced over at Bluestreak, who for some odd reason was putting one of the game discs on top of the other. Mirage was speaking to Thundercracker as the jet intently listened, and Ironhide was holding one of the black disc that Swoop had obtained during the game. "Many of us have made similar decisions but have not let them hinder us as we moved forward."

Victoria nodded and began to thoughtfully chew on the cap of her pen. Prowl opened his mouth to ask her why she had asked such an odd question but snapped it close when a burst of static came over the channel that connected him and Jazz. He glared over the saboteur, who was aggressively shaking his head. _:Do _not_ go there_,_ Prowl. If you ask, then she's gonna clam up faster than you ever have.:_

Prowl looked at the young woman and, seeing that he was losing her attention, asked, "What do you do for a living?"

He ignored how Jazz silently jumped up and down in joy for his stuffy friend being able to keep a conversation going on his own. Victoria, on the other hand, looked less than thrilled. "My job description says that I am an accountant for an office that is part of a bigger chain of businesses."

Prowl frowned at the distain that coated her words. "It can't be that bad."

Victoria snorted. "I'm a glorified secretary that does everything for her boss so that he won't fire me for a younger girl that he can drool over."

The mech blinked as he had never been in that situation before, thus he could not say anything. "I take it you hold little good will towards your superior."

"I could say many things about him and none of it would be good."

Skywarp chose that moment to fly into the room and circle the entire area before lighting down onto the table next to them. He transformed and shot Prowl a glare before stepping up to the organic. "I bear a message from the mighty Megatron." Victoria waved for him to continue, which he did after another glance to Prowl. "He says to leave Bonecrusher alone. It's bad enough that the mech hates everything he sees, but we can live with that. It's when he rants and raves around base that we lose our patience, and you're not helping."

"Tell Megatron to teach his minions how to do as they're told," she told him. "I'll leave Bonecrusher alone if he follows my rules."

Skywarp nodded and stared at Prowl before suddenly warping out of the area. The purple jet reappeared by Thundercracker on the floor and rudely interrupted the blue Seeker's conversation with Mirage to frantically whisper something to his trine mate. Prowl ignored the jets and turned back to Victoria, who asked a question of her own. "You guys seem to be getting along with the Decepticons really well. How did you manage to do that?"

Prowl shifted in slight discomfort, his door-wings shifting ever so slightly at his mood change. She seemed to catch the movement and looked at him more closely. "What are you hiding? You're little wings aren't as active as Bluestreak's, but he has a habit of twitching them like that when he's trying to keep something from me."

The Autobot allowed the feeling of surprise to show through his wings, having them stand-up straight for a second before falling back to their normal position. Optimus and Jazz, two mechs he spent a considerable amount of time with, were the only two who had ever taken the time to watch his door-wings close enough to approximate what emotion he might be feeling at the time. They were the only things that ever gave those emotions away, and he had learned to control them, unlike Bluestreak. But that would explain how Victoria had managed to pick up on the movement. Bluestreak often talked not only with his words but also by the flutters of his wings. Anyone who watched them close enough would be able to read the movements on another Praxian.

Victoria was still looking at him expectantly, so he sighed. "Our factions are not as well behaved as you would like to assume. We…wait until you have gone off to recharge to engage in any altercations. It is the only way we can fully assure that you will not be drawn into our fights." The woman nodded with little surprise, but a sigh that suggested she had hoped the mechs really were getting along escaped her. "Now, perhaps you could tell me where this mysterious brother of yours that Bluestreak has mentioned to me is."

"Hey, Prowl, have you ever wondered why a raven is like a writing desk?"

A raven and a writing desk? Wait, wasn't a raven a bird on this planet? And a writing desk…was a non-living object used for…but a raven could fly and…_"Oh scrap."_

An unsurprised Victoria watched as Prowl's optics flickered before suddenly going out as his processor fritz, and he fell over onto her notebook. She was polite enough to put him on the floor where Ratchet could easily get to him and turned back to the numbers one of her co-workers had sent to her for the week before. She barely noticed when another mech came to stand next to her. "Now that is just Prowler cruelty."

The brunette looked down at Jazz, who stood next to Prowl's prone body. "His questions were starting to annoy me."

"But that's what? The third time you've used the same question ta crash 'im?" Jazz picked his friend up under the arms to drag him over to the couch so that he could be propped up in a semi-dignified position. "Ya could just tell 'im ta buzz off."

"But where's the fun in that?" she asked offhandedly while typing a number into her phone's calculator. "I hear the Autobots and Decepticons aren't getting along as well as I thought."

Jazz shrugged, unsurprised at her sudden change of subject. "Hard ta change vorns of programmin' in only a few solar cycles. Least we're not attackin' each other ev'ry chance we get."

His answer just made Victoria sigh and rub her temple to try to prevent the headache in the making. "I guess that's something." She gestured down at the offline Praxian. "Why was he asking me those questions?"

The saboteur grinned as she correctly assumed he was part of the reason for the questioning. "Just wanted to know a li'l 'bout ya is all."

"I'll share personal stories with you when you share yours with me."

"Well in that case: many, many, many, _many_ cycles ago, a li'l sparklin' called Jazz was sparked inta existence. And he grew up ta be the cool-cat ya see before ya taday."

Victoria laughed at the grin the mech was giving her. Over by the checkerboard, Skywarp was glaring in their direction while Thundercracker held onto the tip of his black and purple wing to keep him in place. "I'm not sure you want to hear how I came to be. It's not as clean as your popping into existence."

Jazz looked a little put off as he remembered how she tried to explain to Ratchet where organic babies came from. "On second thought, maybe we don't need ta have such a personal exchange o' information."

The woman nodded and glanced away when Swoop squawked in triumph and found the Dinobot flying towards them. He landed on her shoulder as a pterodactyl and snuggled his head against her cheek. "Me Swoop win! Beat little Autobot at game."

"Don't be a braggart, Swoop," Victoria chided while watching Bluestreak pout by the checkers he had won during the game. Ironhide was moving the black pieces back into the starting positions while trying to talk Mirage into playing with him, but it looked like Thundercracker was more interested than the aristocrat. "When you win, you should be a good sport about it, and that doesn't mean bragging."

Swoop tilted his head in thought. "Him Wheeljack not good sport. He brag all about race."

Jazz thought that was funny and continued to laugh as he walked over to see how a game of checkers between an Autobot and Decepticon would turn out. Victoria was too distracted from her work by Swoop and Bluestreak, who joined them after Thundercracker had sent Skywarp out of the room, and she readily abandoned the work in favor of watching a computer animated movie with the young mechs.

No one in the living room noticed when Ratchet left the kitchen, dragging an offlined Sunstreaker behind him, with the said offline mech sporting a brand new dent on his black helm.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>I can see the Twins trying to avoid whatever maintenance checks Ratchet orders…and failing miserably to avoid them while Wheeljack gets off scot-free because Ratchet's fixing him every other day :) And it's subtle, but we've got a jealous Seeker; wonder what he'll be doing to get Vicky's attention away from the do-goody Autobots and on to him.

I'm looking for honest feedback on my writing. How is Victoria coming along as a character? Is she interacting with the 'bots okay? And how well am I writing the cannon characters? Am I getting Jazz's accent right? I'm trying to write the accent Ironhide has in the G1 cartoon, but I keep forgetting if for some reason. Anyway, any kind of feedback, whether it's good or bad, will be a tremendous help to me, just like the feedback I have gotten back on previous chapters has been.

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><p><strong>EDITED: 115/2014 (Grammar, misspellings, small bit of added dialogue, etc.)**


	9. The Games We Play

**AN: **To begin with, I want to thank _**Beowulf828 **_for taking the time to read this chapter over earlier this week. It was much appreciated :) Next, thanks to everyone who gave me feedback last chapter! I tried to reply to everyone's review, and for my one anonymous reviewer, _**Autobot-Bre, **_I thank you for the suggestion and I have actually started writing a chapter using it. So your suggestion provided much inspiration.

**DISCLAIMER: All mentioned games/systems belong to their respective owners.**

Solar Cycle: ~1 day

"_Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

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><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Eight

The Games We Play

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><p><strong>Day 10<strong>

For the first time since they had arrived, Sideswipe was absolutely, positively, astronomically…bored. Yes, _bored._ And a bored Sideswipe was never a good thing. Ask Prowl or Ratchet. They tended to be his most common victims, whether directly or indirectly, as was most cases with Prowl and the pile of paperwork Sideswipe graciously provided him with. Hearing a sigh behind him and the similar emotions that bounced back at him through their bond, Sideswipe thought it was safe to assume that his brother felt the same way.

"So," he started out loud. "Ya wanna play one of those 'board games' Vicky dragged out yesterday?"

"No," was his twin's curt reply, and he felt annoyance from Sunstreaker for even suggesting it.

"How 'bout we watch a movie?"

"Ironhide's watching his shows. And you know how territorial he gets during that time."

Sideswipe shuddered at the remembrance of the last time they had tried to take the TV from the Weapons Specialist. Ironhide had found some funky stuff to upgrade his cannons with here. "You're right, let's not even go there. How 'bout we go outside?"

"It's wet and muddy."

Sideswipe spun around in a circle to look at the entire living room from the spot he stood. There was Ironhide on the couch watching the TV intently as a mech organic talked about some gun. Ratchet sat beside him, but he looked so bored that Sideswipe wouldn't be surprised if he fell off the edge of the couch when he finally gave in to the recharge that wasn't far off. The front-liner could hear Bluestreak talking on one side of the room even before his circling pointed him that direction. One of the youngest Autobots in the whole faction was prattling to Jazz as they played one of the games from the stack that Victoria had found; it involved a stack of cards with different colored squares on them that told you where to move your colored organic replica around the board as you passed through weird places, like the Candy Cane Forest or Gum Drop Mountain, all to get to a castle at the end of the trail. He had a feeling the two were only playing it because they were slowly going through the stack anyway.

On the other side of the room, the back door was already wide open, and he could see the Decepticon fliers outside along with Swoop. They weren't really flying together, but they somehow made it seem that way. Red Alert was out on the porch, and Sideswipe couldn't help but feel somewhat impressed that the Security Director was slowly overcoming his paranoia enough to explore the new place they had landed in; he knew that Ratchet and Mirage had become the mech's security blanket, so to speak, since Inferno wasn't around, and they had worked hard to get the twitchy SD out of the base. Wheeljack was included with the outdoor mechs, even though he was in his shed instead of actually being outside.

Sideswipe's spin passed the door until he found Optimus and Prowl standing off to the side with a small pad of paper and a pen that was nearly the same height as Prowl. The SIC had caved to the primitive technology and had asked Victoria for a pad and pen to make it at least feel like he was doing something. The Prime and his second must have been discussing the latest attempt by Megatron to claim one of the neutral territories of the house.

His twirling ended when he faced Sunstreaker's unamused face. Right over his brother's shoulder, the more sociable front-liner could see Soundwave and his Cassettes walking along the counter in the kitchen, peeking into whatever caught their interest. Barricade was slinking around below them on the floor doing only Primus knew what.

"So**,** what are we gonna do?" he finally asked after observing the mechs within their field of vision. "If we go back to the base, Mirage will be there to make sure we don't get into Vicky's stuff. As fun as it was, I really don't feel like tying mini-Megatron to one of our bumpers again and driving around the house." They stopped to grin at the memory. It would perhaps be the only time they ever aligned themselves with Starscream again, but it was worth humiliating the vulnerable Decepticon leader and watching the jet who had helped them flee for his life afterwards. "There's nothing down here to do."

The epiphany hit them at the same time, and their bond lit up with excitement as they ran out of the living room to see the stairs that were further down the hallway. Sideswipe shot his brother a grin, which was reciprocated with one of Sunstreaker's own rare smiles. "I guess that means we're going up."

The Lamborghini twins ran towards the stairs and began the slightly difficult trip up them. Fortunately, they had created a sort of system that got them up the stairs faster than the others. One of the brothers would boost the other up to the step above, and when that brother had gotten settled, he would reach down to pull the one left behind up to him. Of course, they were tall enough to climb up on their own, but why waste time when the system worked so well?

Sunstreaker was the first to the second floor, and he pulled Sideswipe up moments later. They stood together to stare down the hallway. "Now what?"

Sideswipe looked over at the one door on the right where they knew for a fact Victoria would be. She had been in there for a solar cycle and would probably be there for several more at the slow pace she was going. Outside the door sat several boxes of the things that were already destined for disposal—easy targets for those scum Decepticons to raid. Across from the door and on the other side of the boxes were two more doors. The Twins had been in one of the rooms before, a room that Sunstreaker had fell in love with the moment he saw the paint on the highest shelf of the bookcase. Unfortunately, said paint could not be reached, and Victoria had ordered them out of the room the one time she had caught them and locked the door with some primitive metallic key to prevent anymore visits.

The other door had never been explored, which _obviously_ meant the Twins should investigate. After all, there could be some deadly weapon behind said door or something equally as dangerous. But how to get in?

Sunstreaker nudged Sideswipe's right shoulder and pointed over at the boxes that sat closest to the door. Understanding his spark-twin fully, Sideswipe headed straight to the box and guesstimated that the gap between it and the doorknob was too great for one of them to jump and open the door at the same time. So that meant they would have to move the box closer, which would be easy for two ex-gladiators.

Or so he thought.

"What the frag did she put in here?" Sunstreaker grunted while twisting around to see if pushing from a new angle would make it easier. "Omega Supreme didn't get zapped here with us, did he?"

Sideswipe just grunted and silently celebrated when the box shifted a little in the direction they wanted it to go. Of course, Sunstreaker felt his joy and snorted at him. "Gotta celebrate the small victories or you won't have the motivation to continue."

Sunstreaker twisted again and managed to find a position that allowed him to move the box more easily. Sideswipe fell into the same position, and soon they had the box right up against the door. They wasted little time climbing up, only to realize that they were still a couple of inches short from the doorknob. Sunstreaker let out a growl of displeasure while Sideswipe rubbed the back of his black helm. "Maybe we can find something to sit on top of the box for us to climb."

"Or," Sunstreaker cut in while shoving his brother towards the door, "you can give me a boost up."

"I don't think-"

"Too late!"

Sideswipe tried not to squeal as Sunstreaker scrambled up his back but knew that the sound hadn't been contained because of the snarky humor that came from Sunstreaker's side of the bond. The red and black Autobot tilted to one side as the added weight of his brother set him off balance but quickly righted himself when Sunstreaker pulled on his audial horn. "Come on,Sunny! You know that hurts."

"Don't call me that," Sunstreaker snarled as he managed to crouch on Sideswipe's shoulders. "Get me closer to the door."

Sideswipe took a step forward before taking one back as he perilously tilted backwards. "This is getting really awkward, really fast."

"Well, get it really over with by getting me to the doorknob!"

A few more balancing acts later and Sunstreaker was finally able to grab the knob. Now the challenge was to turn it the way they had witnessed Victoria do with the others.

"Twist it to the right. No, the other right!"

"There is no such thing as 'the other right!' It's either right or left!"

"Then twist it the left way!"

There was a click, and Sideswipe pushed the door open before Sunstreaker lost his grip on the doorknob. It flung open and sent Sunstreaker flying with it. "Sideswipe!"

"Whoops," Sideswipe said as he watched his brother dangle high above the ground. "Maybe I shouldn't have pushed it so hard…"

"You think?" Sunstreaker yelled at him, twisting his helm around to glare at his brother with dark indigo optics. "Find something for me to fall on."

Sideswipe hopped off the box and entered the room to do just that. While searching, he noted that the room had a similar air to it as the other one they had explored. He found some clothes on the floor and dragged a couple of them over to pile underneath his brother before giving him the go ahead to drop. Sunstreaker landed with little grace and snarled when his brother started to laugh. "Shut up!"

Sideswipe ignored him and continued to laugh while Sunstreaker looked around the room. The yellow mech left his brother in favor of heading towards the nightstand, where it looked like there were some tubes of paint similar to the ones they had seen in the other room. He tripped over a shirt on the way, causing Sideswipe to start another round of laughter. "I don't get why that stupid squishy has these rooms blocked off. If anything she needs to focus on cleaning them instead!"

Sideswipe continued to laugh as he looked around the room. His optics skimmed over the cartoony figures on the wall before freezing on one in particular. "Holy frag! Sunny, look!"

"I told you not to call me that!" Sunstreaker snarled as he finally made it up the bed. He was disappointed to see what he had mistaken for paint was actually something called lotion. What the frag was that supposed to be? "What is it?"

Sideswipe gestured up at the wall he stood closest to with a look of awe, and Sunstreaker followed the path of the finger. He offlined his optics for a moment before resetting them, but the picture was the same as before. It was a pretty detailed picture of them, the Twins, with the Autobot insignia tastefully filling the background behind them. The yellow of his paintjob was spot on, though Sides' paint looked a little off, but other than that, even Sunstreaker had to tip his hat to the artist. It was amazingly lifelike and almost as good as his masterpieces. Almost.

"Who d'ya think did them?" Sideswipe asked after noticing a couple of more pictures of the Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet, all of which crowded one small space of the wall before mixing in with other unidentifiable characters. Well, almost unidentifiable. Sideswipe saw quite a few characters from the cartoons that they had been watching with the Cassettes, Bluestreak, and Swoop.

Sunstreaker shrugged. Whoever it was, Sunstreaker actually wanted to meet him.

"What are you two doing in here?"

Both of the twins jumped at the new voice, and Sideswipe had his gun aimed at her before realizing who it was. Sunstreaker just glared at Victoria, who glared back not in anger but as if she was just troubled by the thought of them being in the room. "We got bored."

"So you thought that gave you the right to sneak around up here?" she asked, crossing her arms to show her displeasure.

"How else were we supposed to figure out what you've been trying to hide up here?"

Victoria ignored him and stepped aside to point out the door. "Get out, both of you."

Sideswipe headed to the door, not wanting to fight over something like this, but Sunstreaker stood his ground where he stood on the bed. "No, you said we could go anywhere we wanted in the house."

"This is my brother's room," Victoria insisted, as if the knowledge of the room's owner was enough to keep them out. "You're not allowed in here."

"Why? He obviously isn't using it since the only organic living here is you."

Sideswipe, who now stood a couple of inches in front of her, was the only one to notice how their host flinched at those words and the brief flash of grief that filled her normally passive optics before it was quickly replaced by anger. "Get out!"

Sunstreaker jumped off the bed without another word and ran to join his twin outside the room. Victoria hadn't raised her voice like that since they had snuck into her bag when she left the house. In fact, Victoria never used that tone even when she was yelling at the Decepticons for breaking something. It was real anger that she let out, anger that was further expended when she slammed the door shut and turned to glare down at them. "If I see either of you in that room again, I will_…_I'll_…_"

The woman trailed off as she placed a hand over her eyes and took a deep breath. Sideswipe stepped closer, all the while wishing that Bluestreak was there to calm her down in his weird cutesy way. "We're, um, sorry. We didn't know that the room was off-limits."

Victoria shook her head, loose strands of black hair that had escaped from the elastic she kept it tied back with limply tossing side to side. "Just go back downstairs. I'll be down in a couple of hours for lunch, so stay out of trouble, _please_."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker watched her retreat back into the room she had been cleaning before walking towards the staircase. Sunstreaker immediately released a rush of annoyance through their bond, but Sideswipe just as quickly smothered it. **~Just let it go. There's obviously something more eating at her than finding us in that room.~**

Sunstreaker snorted as he waited for Sideswipe to jump down the stairs with him. **~Maybe she's going through that monthly thing she told Ratchet about.~**

**~Maybe…or you're rubbing off on her.~**

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe spent the rest of the journey down trying to shove each other off the stairs.

**[~]**

Victoria deposited an oversized box on the coffee table with a grunt, gaining the attention of the mechs lazing around on the couch and the ones surrounding a buzzing _Operation _game, which had Ratchet holding the tweezers and looking down at the contraption with an annoyed frown. Bluestreak abandoned the humorous game as the Twins began to tease the medic for failing to join Victoria as she quietly pulled several cases from the box.

"What's this?" he asked, opening one of the cases to pull out a small disk. "Is it another movie? It looks smaller than the other discs you put in the player. Does that mean it's shorter?"

The woman absently smiled down at the inquisitive Datsun and carefully pulled the disc away. "No, Bluestreak, it's a video game. I found two boxes of old games and systems upstairs, and now I need to check and see if they work."

"Can I help?" Bluestreak said in excitement while watching her pull out two more piles of games. "Whoa, that's a lot of games! It beats Sunny and Sides' collection back on the _Ark._ They have this huge-"

"What the frack is that?" Rumble rudely interrupted as the show on the television lost his interest, and he jumped from the couch to land on a folded mat that Victoria pulled from the bottom of the box. He hopped around the strange mat before being bounced off by his brother, who jumped on it just as he had. "Fraggit, Frenzy!"

Frenzy was laughing too hard to say anything as Victoria shooed him off the pad. She placed it on the ground and unfolded it for them to see four huge, colorful arrows pointing in opposite directions along with two different shapes in the top corners. She did the same for another folded pad and placed them side by side. "Why am I not surprised to see this?"

"What exactly is 'this'?" Jazz asked as he walked across the pads. A crinkle sound followed his footsteps. "Sounds kinda funky."

"They're DDR mats," Victoria answered him while looking around at the assembled mechs. Bluestreak was still busy looking at all of the cases with Sideswipe, who seemed a little hesitant to be so close to her after the episode from earlier that morning. Ratchet had abandoned his game to watch Jazz and Sunstreaker move around on the mats to elicit the "funky" sounds that Jazz had discovered. To her surprise, all of the Cassettes were also present with Ravage playing with the wire of the one controller she had pulled out while Rumble mashed the buttons and played with the joystick, and Laserbeak accompanied Frenzy in carelessly pulling out game discs. She turned and found Soundwave silently watching them from the couch, and Mirage sitting just as silently with Red Alert on the other end.

"What's DDR?" Jazz asked, bringing the woman's attention back to him.

"_Dance Dance Revolution._" Jazz immediately perked up. "I'm guessing you want to be the one who sees if it still works."

"Espionage work is neva' done," he answered with a grin while Ratchet snorted. The saboteur looked at the medic and gave him a shrug. "Someone's gotta do the dirty work."

Victoria stifled a smile at the med-bot's exasperated look. "I gotta go get the second box before we start playing anything. Wait here." She left the room and climbed back up the stairs to fetch the box she had left at the top. She was walking back down when a jet appeared before her. "Great, what do _you_ want?"

Skywarp transformed to hover in front of her face, and Victoria shifted the heavy box as she waited for whatever quip he had planned. "That looks heavy. Do you, uh, need help?"

Victoria blinked. That was not what she had been expecting. "I think it's too big for you to help with, but, um, thanks for asking?"

The last part came out as a question, but Skywarp seemed pleased as he shifted to the side to let her pass. "If you say so, but I can help if you need me to. Just say the word and I'll be right there! To help that is. Yes, I am very helpful."

Victoria just looked at him with surprise as she slowly resumed walking down the stairs. "Okay, you're up to something, aren't you?"

"Of course not!" Skywarp said, quickly following her in his bipedal form and making sure not to fly around her head. "I'm just trying to help. Is that such a bad thing?"

Victoria waited until she stepped off the final step to turn and examine him. The Seeker looked surprisingly sincere with his words…and slightly forced. "I'm not sure if it _is_ a good thing with you."

Something flashed through the jet's optics, and he crossed his arms over his cockpit in a pout. "Well, it is. I don't just help anyone, ya know."

"That's what has me worried," the woman said under her breath. They stepped into the living room and found that the group had grown with the addition of two more mechs, Swoop and Wheeljack. The Dinobot was walking around on the mats with Jazz, and Wheeljack was playing with the controller that Rumble and Ravage had abandoned in order to speak to Soundwave. "I can't help but think you're planning a prank of some kind."

"I am not!" Skywarp exploded, and he flew over to the coffee table. "Jeez, the Auto-losers can do nice stuff, but _I _get looks of disbelief when _I _volunteer to help? That's discrimination!"

The Autobots on the table looked as surprised by the outburst as Victoria did. She sighed as the jet kicked a case off the table and placed the second box closer to the TV. "I'm sorry, Skywarp. You're right. You can help me plug the systems in if you want."

The woman hadn't even finished her sentence when the jet was already there getting tangled in wires as he attempted unwind them. "Cool! Where does this do-hickey go?"

Victoria instructed him to crawl through the tiny shelves of the entertainment system to plug in the wires to the surge protector hidden behind the Blu-ray player and how to hook up the colored wires to the back of the TV. There was silence as mechs from both factions watched in silent fascination as the prankster did exactly as he was told without complaint and looked happy about it. Swoop poked the top of a surprised Frenzy's helm. "What wrong with him?"

"His processor must have finally fried," Frenzy said before realizing who had poked him and jumped away with a glare. "Keep your filthy servos off me, fragger!"

The Dinobot shrugged and looked over to Ratchet, who shook his head. "Don't look at me. As the only certified medic in the house, it was my duty to volunteer my expertise, including the maintenance checks that all of the Decepticons refused."

"There, all done!" Skywarp said proudly, dusting off his hands while reappearing from behind the TV. He ignored the odd looks and continued his quest to gain Victoria's approval by saying, "What's next?"

"Just to put the game in and play," she answered, reaching for the appropriate disc and placing it into the extended tray of the game system. The screen faded to black before lighting back up with the starting logos. "Hand me the wires to hook up the dance mats."

Jazz unraveled the wires and watched Victoria plug them into the front of the black system. She looked back at the mats with a frown as the start screen appeared. "Are you guys heavy enough to press the buttons?"

"We can attach one of Wheeljack's limbs to them," Ratchet piped up before anyone else. He was climbing up the couch to stand behind Mirage and Red Alert as he spoke. "They're already detachable accessories anyhow."

Wheeljack turned to glare at the medic's statement, but Red Alert beat him to the punch. "Safety violation! I don't know which one it violates, but I'm sure it does."

Jazz was too busy hopping around the mat to hear them and was easily scrolling through the song options. "As long as ya hop hard enough, it seems ta work." He scrolled through the songs and listened to them play through the low volume of the speakers. "If we're playin' ya gotta turn it up! Half the fun comes from the music."

Victoria watched him bounce around the mat, moving a lot faster than she had thought he could, but… "There's no way you guys can play the game alone. You're too small to reach all of the sensors at once."

Jazz looked offended at the suggestion. "It can't be too hard; it's almost 'xactly like some o' the systems ya used ta find in the dance clubs back on Cybertron. Speakin' o' which_…_" He turned to Soundwave, who had joined him on the floor beside the other mat. "You used to co-own one o' them clubs back before the war. Got any moves ya wanna share?"

Soundwave looked up at the screen before staring at the Special Ops mech. "Defeat: imminent."

"All talk an' no game?" Jazz taunted good naturally while gesturing up at the screen where flashing words prompted a second player to sign in. "Neva' took ya for one o' them mechs."

Soundwave stared at him before hopping on the mat with no prodding from his Cassettes. "Autobot will lose."

"Like Ah 'aven't heard that before," the smaller mech said with a shrug. He scrolled through the song list twice before clicking random after not being able to decide which song he liked best, and the younger mechs in the audience started to complain. "'Old you're skidplates, it's 'bout to get crazy in here!"

While they waited for the game to load, the Cassettes filed in behind Soundwave and the younger Autobots lined up behind Jazz. Ratchet, Mirage, and Red Alert remained on the couch with Victoria, who had sat down to watch after turning up the TV like Jazz had asked, and she had Skywarp sitting on the edge of her knee while Wheeljack was too busy trying to pry the game controller apart to care. The screen lit up and cheers of a virtual crowd came through the speakers. The words "READY" flashed across the screen as the background loaded and the song began to start. The mechs were startled by the sudden and loud laughter that Victoria emitted.

"I haven't_…_I haven't heard this song in so long!" she said between laughs as Soundwave and Jazz turned back to focus on the flying arrows that scrolled up the screen to the rhythm of "I Like to Move It". "It's just so funny to watch them dance to it."

Sunstreaker was the only one to continue staring at her oddly as Bluestreak, Rumble and Frenzy cheered for every "Perfect" that their respective comrade earned. Once Victoria had stopped laughing and focused on the mechs instead of the song in the background, she was surprised to see how well they were doing. Of course, they missed several of the arrows because their size didn't allow them to reach all of the respective buttons at once, but they were doing far better than Victoria had thought they would. Jazz was hopping, twisting, turning, and doing any kind of movement really all around the pad, laughing the whole time despite all of the points he missed because of his exaggerated movements. Soundwave was, surprisingly, moving around with a sort of rhythm that wasn't nearly as wild as Jazz's but it was more rhythm than she would have guessed the stoic mech of having.

"Who knew Soundwave could _dance?"_ Skywarp said with the same amount of surprise that she felt.

"I am sure he had more dire activities to do than inform the Decepticon populace that he could 'let loose,'" Mirage said, moving his servos to quote the last part that he had most likely picked up from Jazz. Red Alert was watching Swoop and Bluestreak let out a big cheer as Jazz managed to perform a three step combo perfectly, the tenseness that constantly radiated from him when there were Decepticons in the room slowly easing up as the time passed. He even let go of the arm of the couch to lean over Mirage to get a clearer view of the dancing mechs.

The song came to an end with Jazz front flipping back into the center and Soundwave calmly stepping forward. The screen went blank for a second to load before pulling back up, the pre-recorded voice congratulating player two on winning. Soundwave turned his head to a grinning Jazz. "Soundwave: superior."

Jazz shrugged and stepped off the mat for Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to step on. "Yeah, but ya got no soul! No wonder Blaster couldn' stand workin' with ya."

Soundwave shrugged and walked towards the couch, letting his Cassettes swarm his mat. "Soundwave: still superior. Autobot: jealous." Jazz gave a surprised laugh while staring at the Decepticon's retreating back.

Victoria watched the four Cassettes take an arrow as the Twins decided which area they would be responsible for and chose another random song. The song was unfamiliar, so she turned to snatch the controller away from Wheeljack just as he was about to get the casing off. "Don't destroy a controller that we need for later."

Wheeljack looked at the controller longingly, ignoring the Twins in the background calling for Bluestreak and Swoop to join in since they couldn't handle all of the buttons at once and the Cassettes were getting perfects all across the screen. He jumped from the table to her lap in order to follow the device she held just out of his reach. "But what if there's something inside that I can use? You're hindering my inventive process."

The brunette grabbed one of the wing-like projections on his back to keep him from jumping for the controller. "I said I'll take you to a hardware store to find the stuff. Be patient."

Skywarp didn't look happy at how the inventor sighed and collapsed in her lap. "Fine, I'll do it your way for now. But I've got nothing better to do until then. Just to let you know…in case you were wondering."

Victoria lightly laughed at the engineer, making Skywarp glare more, and placed the controller beside Ratchet. "Your warning has been received; now let's focus on seeing if these systems work so I can pawn them off in town while we search for your parts."

"Parts for what?" Skywarp asked as he finally couldn't take being ignored anymore. Soundwave surreptitiously tilted his head as he continued to look forward from his spot on the cushion beside them.

"Ya still haven't managed ta fix that blender ya broke a couple of solar cycles ago?" Jazz piped in from where he had joined the three Autobots on the couch. He paused as the Cassettes began to argue about who was making them lose now that Bluestreak and Swoop had joined the game to even the odds. "Gettin' a li'l' rusty, huh 'Jackie?"

"I am not!" Wheeljack said in offense, picking up on Jazz's cover-up story. All the same, it didn't hinder the offense he took from the statement. He wasn't getting rusty_…_he was just more easily distracted lately. "Using outdated, bigger than normal materials is more difficult than it looks. I'd like to see you do it."

Skywarp lost interest in their conversation and went back to watching the game, but Soundwave wasn't as easily bored. He was now openly staring at the engineer on Victoria's lap until Wheeljack uncomfortably slid off of her leg onto the Autobots' side of the couch. Strangely, Soundwave climbed up to sit on the knee that Skywarp didn't occupy, still glancing over in the direction of the four Autobots and only receiving grins from Jazz.

Feeling the unease that was beginning to densely form between the two factions, Victoria nudged the two Decepticons off her knees and onto the opposite side before standing to approach the gamers before they had a chance to start another game. "Okay, obviously this game and system work. Now we have two more to try out."

"Jeez, you humans are so inconvenient," Sideswipe said, moving out of the way for her to fold up the mats. "All of our games are compatible with the same system and just…better."

Victoria turned to pat the red mech on the head, like a parent would do to a small child. "I'm sure they are, Sideswipe. But before humans become selfless enough to do such a thing, crawl back there and unhook the PlayStation so we can try out the Nintendo 64."

Sideswipe sighed and held his arms out for her to grip him around the middle. The woman chuckled at his attitude and picked him up to put him in the hole. "Ew, it's dusty in here." Victoria looked down beside her to make sure she hadn't picked Sunstreaker up by mistake. The yellow diva glanced up at her before turning away. "Hey, which wire am I supposed to pull out?" The woman jiggled the wire for him to see, and a second later he returned with the three-prong plug in his hands. He threw it down on the ground and tried to swipe off the dust he had collected. "You should invest in some cleaning drones. I thought my systems would clog up before I made it back out."

"Maybe I should use you guys for that," Victoria said, flashing the Nintendo console's plug-in in front of his face. Sideswipe sighed and took the object before crawling back in. "It can be payback for using my house, food, and other utilities."

"I am _not_ a cleaning drone," Sunstreaker said, his tone finalizing his statement.

"I'm learning to cook!" Bluestreak piped in as if he was worried that Victoria would set them to work cleaning the house. It took her several cycles to clean one room; there was no telling how long it would take one, or several, of them to clean up one space.

"Me Swoop just not want to clean," Swoop finished with his child-like honesty. "Not good cleaner anyway. Better medic."

Victoria smiled at them and turned to the Cassettes, who stood on her other side. "What about you four? What do you have to offer for my generous hospitality?"

"You're not dead," Rumble said after a moment of hard thinking, and Frenzy nodded alongside him.

The human sighed and lifted Sideswipe up to replace the colored wires, only to find Skywarp standing proudly with the PlayStation's wires held up in his servos. "See? I am a very helpful mech."

"What is he up to?" Sunstreaker snarled when his brother was deposited beside him. Bluestreak pulled the two aside and spoke to them in hushed whispers, gesturing back and forth between the woman, who was now connecting four different colored controllers to the console, and Skywarp, who had volunteered to help with that too. The only part of the conversation that was heard was Sunstreaker's "Are you _serious?"_ and Sideswipe's disbelieving laughter. Bluestreak's door-wings twitched at the laughter, and he looked between the two with a serious glare.

"What are you doing now?" Red Alert questioned as Victoria looked through the pile of bulkier cases. "That doesn't look like the same equipment they were using for the other game."

Victoria opened a particular case and pulled out a cartridge instead of a disc. "You only use the dance pads for _DDR_. The other games require controllers." She gestured the game at him. "Would you like to play? It'll have to be two 'bots to a controller because one will have to operate the joystick while the other does the buttons."

Red Alert glanced between grey cartridge she held in one hand and the red controller she had picked up with the other. After a brief inner debate, he shook his head and stepped back to rejoin his comrades on the couch. Jazz was leaning back on his arms and swinging his legs over the edge while watching everyone in the room and speaking lowly to Mirage and Ratchet. Ratchet took the time to pat Red Alert on the shoulder as the SD sat back down into his position.

Victoria turned back to the console with the game in hand to find that Wheeljack had magically appeared beside the controller he had been trying to take apart earlier. "Are you playing?"

The inventor shrugged. "Might as well. If I can't take it apart, I'll find other ways to see how it works."

"I wish you had had that same sentiment before ripping out the back of the stereo," she said, kneeling in front of the N64 to place the cartridge in and pick up the red controller again. "Who's your partner?"

Wheeljack looked around, his optics originally falling on Jazz, who shook his head as he planned to sit out this game, before falling on the group of three still whispering to each other. "Bluestreak!" The young Praxian looked up at the sound of his name and found Wheeljack gesturing at him to come over. "You'll be my partner for this game."

"Okay!" Bluestreak happily agreed, abandoning his conversation in favor of joining the older mech beside a green controller. "What are we doing?"

"We are…doing something that has not been explained." They turned to Victoria as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe joined them to man the yellow controller, and Rumble and Frenzy fought over the last black one.

She turned on the console before answering, and the title screen loaded a lot faster. "We're playing a racing game." She quickly showed them which buttons to press and how to play. "Now chose your people."

"I never took you as one to play such childish games," Mirage said from the couch.

"Are you kidding?" Victoria turned to look at him after choosing a green dinosaur. "I used to be like a Nintendo 64 goddess." She glared at Sunstreaker's sound of disbelief. "It's true! I was even better than my brother. He would get so mad when I beat him."

Sideswipe looked up at her and shook his head. "I just don't see it." He turned to the screen before glaring at his brother. "Why did you choose the femme?"

"Because she's the only good looking one up there," Sunstreaker replied as if it was obvious. Wheeljack and Bluestreak mutually agreed on the one who had a mushroom for a head, and Rumble and Frenzy fought over who to choose before eventually settling for the meanest looking character. Victoria chose a stage and soon their characters were lined up at the starting line.

"Prepare to eat our dust!" Frenzy said, straddling the part of the controller that held the analog stick.

"Like we'll lose to a pair of _Cassettes,_" Sunstreaker replied as a thing on a cloud held up a light to count down for the race to begin.

The light turned green and Victoria, Wheeljack, and Bluestreak's characters shot forward while the Twins' pink princess spun out of control and the Cassettes' overlord moved forward before coming to a halt and repeating the process again and again.

"Sideswipe!" Sunstreaker yelled while shoving his twin, who controlled the buttons. "What are you doing?"

"Exactly what Vicky said!" the red twin yelled back and pressed the green button again. This time their car began to accelerate forward, passing the still stalling overgrown turtle. "See? It's working now."

"Why the frag aren't we moving?" Frenzy complained to Rumble. Rumble shrugged and pressed the button once before releasing it. Their character stopped the moment he did. "You're doing it wrong!" The Cassettes switched places and their cart began to catch up to the other twins. "See?"

"Yeah, but I get to control the car like I wanted to!" Rumble snickered victoriously. Frenzy shoved him off the controller and on screen they flew off the track because no one was steering. "Look what you did now!"

While Rumble and Frenzy yelled at each other, Wheeljack and Bluestreak were working wonderfully together and were easily keeping up with Victoria. Wheeljack, who was steering, blinked as both cars ran through a twirling rainbow block with a question mark. A box appeared in the top corners of their screens and settled on a random object. "What was that?"

"You pick up items when you run through the boxes," Victoria said distractedly while skidding around a corner like a pro. She was actually surprised at how well she was doing after so many years of not even caring for video games. "Just press the button I told you about earlier to release your-" she glanced over at their screen "-banana peel."

"You heard her, Bluestreak," Wheeljack said dramatically while using the servo that wasn't steering the cart to point at the TV. "Release the banana peel!"

Behind him, Ratchet slapped his grey chevron in exasperation, and Jazz laughed while nudging Mirage, who was fighting a grin. Red Alert wasn't paying attention as he kept twisting around to keep an optic on Skywarp, who sat on the back of the couch. Red Alert quickly clung to Mirage when the jet _smiled_ at him. Soundwave glanced up and received a similar smile that actually made him do a double-take and almost caused Ravage, who had settled onto the mech's lap, to fall off when he turned to get a better look at Skywarp.

Sideswipe started laughing when their princess screamed and spun around. "I can't believe you ran straight into it! Wheeljack _just_ told Blue to drop it."

Sunstreaker growled and turned a corner too early and ran into a wall, making Sideswipe laugh harder and allow Rumble and Frenzy to pass them. "I told you you'd be eating our dust!" Frenzy yelled. Seconds later they ran into a box that exploded and slowed them down enough to let the Autobots pass them. "What the frag? You said we get stuff when we run into the slagging boxes!"

"That was a trap that I laid out," Victoria said, swerving around to keep the mushroom headed character from passing. "Those explode."

Frenzy grumbled and started steering again. Since it was absolutely pointless at trying to win, he instead decided to ram into the cart in front of them to get to third place. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were cursing them as they traded a high five and sped away. Only to go spinning out of control as they found another strategically placed banana peel.

This was how the remaining laps went: Victoria and Wheeljack swerving in an attempt to pass each other while Bluestreak kept their car going and at the same time deployed the random objects they picked up from the mystery boxes. The twins from both sides kept bumping into each other or running into the objects the two in the lead left behind. Eventually the race ended with Victoria winning, Wheeljack and Bluestreak coming in close second, and Rumble and Frenzy shoving their way into third.

"I demand a rematch!" Sunstreaker immediately said, and he would have thrown the controller across the room if he had been bigger.

"That was fun," Wheeljack said at the same time and turned to look at Ratchet. "You should try it. Maybe it could help you vent your anger issues."

Ratchet huffed at him as Victoria tried to explain to the twins why they couldn't play again. "I only need to play one game to see if the system still works."

"But we had false starts!" Sideswipe argued. He paused as Skywarp flew down to stand next to the controller that Wheeljack had abandoned in favor of joining his older comrades. "Skywarp might want to play. Or Swoop!"

Swoop looked up from the cases he had been placing in perfect order with Laserbeak. "What me Swoop want?" Sideswipe repeated himself, and the Dinobot shook his head. "Me no wanna play car game. Seem stupid."

Skywarp snickered at that but concealed it by politely asking Bluestreak if he could be his partner. Bluestreak looked like he was about to say no but glanced at Victoria before grudgingly agreeing. The woman sighed as the players stared up at her expectantly and picked up her abandoned controller with restrained eagerness. "One more game and then we check the other system before packing them back up."

**[~]**

One game turned into two, and two turned into three until the mini-Transformers were teaming up to defeat Victoria. Of course, she was just as enthusiastically fighting back, ignoring the looks she was getting from the mechs on the couch as she jumped up to move her body with the carts on the TV when one of her opponents tried to ram her.

That had been half an hour ago. Now she sat in the middle of the couch with Ratchet, Mirage, Red Alert, and Jazz on one side and Soundwave, Starscream, and Thundercracker on the other side. Ravage and Laserbeak had retreated into Soundwave a few hours ago, growing tired of their fellow Cassettes' shenanigans, so she supposed she could count them as sitting beside her as well.

On the coffee table stood Wheeljack, who Victoria had finally gave in and allowed to disassemble a controller that had sticky buttons, Swoop, and Skywarp. The latter of the three appeared to be attempting to have a decent conversation with the Autobots on the table with him but was failing miserably.

Down below, crowding around four Xbox controllers, were teams of two and one group of three. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe served as one team; Bluestreak and Prowl as another; Barricade and the Cassette twins were the group of three; and Optimus and Ironhide as the last group. On the screen, there were four different viewpoints, all leveling four guns in the direction they walked. Of course the mechs would find a shooting game enjoyable—especially if they could vent anger without facing any consequences.

"Where the frag is everyone?" Rumble complained as Barricade guided their avatar throughout the compound, picking up ammo on the way. "Who even chose this place? It sucks!"

Their screen turned a bright red and a counter for their remaining lives popped up as they materialized in a new location seconds later. "What the frag!"

Bluestreak gave a bored Prowl a high five, and the Praxian duo went back to sniping down their opponents from the roof.

"Go, go, go," Sideswipe encouraged his brother as their character ran down a hallway. "I just saw someone. Get them before they escape!"

Sunstreaker tilted the analog stick in the direction and turned the corner to find a gun pointed into their face. "Scrap."

"This is as easy as real life," Ironhide bragged as he pressed the button to take down the Twins' human character. Optimus shook his head with a sigh and continued to the staircase he had been approaching to begin with, only for them to run across a newly revived man and be shot. "Real life doesn't give you redoes. So stop celebratin' over there!" Sunstreaker and Sideswipe ignored him and stole the upgraded gun that was left behind.

"Barricade, you freaking suck!" Frenzy yelled as they were, yet again gunned down. "That's the same place they got us last time!"

Barricade growled and shoved the blue Cassette away. "I wouldn't have this problem if you would shut up and _let me concentrate!"_

"You've got nothin' to concentrate with!"

The Decepticon growled and picked up the annoying cassette to toss him across the room. Rumble didn't take the tossing very well and jumped onto Barricade's back to pull on the wheels that hovered above his shoulders. The pseudo-cop car growled louder and spun around to try and grab the pest, but Rumble held on and was later joined by Frenzy, who had run back across the room to fling himself at Barricade with a battle cry. Prowl and Bluestreak, who were the two closest to them, just stared, one with innocent amazement and the other with silent disapproval.

Victoria watched as the three tumbled across the floor until they vanished beneath the table. Ratchet watched the fighting as well and looked up at her as the sounds of the fight continued. "Well?" She looked over at the medic standing with the rest of the Autobots on the couch. "Aren't you going to break it up?"

The raven haired woman looked down at the table, where the twins were sadistically laughing as Barricade growled in Cybertronian, and then back at Ratchet. "I don't really care. They're all on the same side. For all I know, that could be there version of team-building."

The medic sighed and turned back to the game that had captured even Optimus Prime's attention. Red Alert hopped across to the table to speak with Wheeljack when the engineer suddenly created sparks, leaving Mirage behind to finally have his arm back after Red Alert had started to cling to it so long ago. Jazz leaned up against Victoria and grinned up at her when she looked down. "So, this is another pastime fo' humans, huh?"

Victoria nodded and looked up just in time to see Sunstreaker and Sideswipe take the last life the Decepticons had had. "It's mostly for the young people though, like through the teen years and up until you reach a certain age in your twenties. I think very few play them after that." Bluestreak laughed as he and Prowl sniped down the Twins in the same spot that Barricade always fell. "Bluestreak said the Twins had video games, and Sideswipe mentioned that all of theirs were on the same console. Do you guys have any more games?"

"'Course we do!" Jazz said enthusiastically. "How else we gonna keep da sparklin's busy."

She didn't miss the gesture he made in the general direction of the Xbox when he mentioned sparklings. "So what are they? Are they like human games?"

"Guess it depends," Jazz started and pointed at the discs on the table. "We do got video games like these, but like Sideswipe said, they're all on one console and on memory cards." He looked at the screen when Ironhide cursed and found the CO and Weapon's Specialist's screen tinted red as they managed to escape the snipers. "'Cept without the organic spillage."

Victoria watched the avatars on screen run around searching for each other before turning back the saboteur. "What about non-technical stuff? Do you have any games that involve direct participation?"

"There's Lobbing." He paused to jump off the couch and duck behind the recliner. He returned moments later with a small, red bouncy ball from a game of Jumping Jacks that had been in the box of board games Victoria had found a day ago. "Ya gotta have at least two players, but it's more fun if ya got more." He threw the ball as hard as he could up to Wheeljack, who caught it and immediately tossed it to Ratchet. The medic grunted but easily caught the unexpected toss. "Ya basically throw it as hard as ya can until ya knock an opponent over or they miss." Ratchet threw the ball back down at him, and the small mech toppled over at the force the medic put behind the throw. "Like that. Man, Ratchet! Ah almost forgot why you're da reigning champ among the 'Bots."

Victoria laughed at how the med-bot grumbled. "We have a game where instead of catching the ball, you have to dodge it, and if you get hit, you lose."

"That would be fun," Jazz mussed to himself as he jumped back onto the couch, leaving the ball behind. "Of course, there's racin', and we also got a game similar ta that checkers game, 'cept it's a lot more complicated than just jumpin' each other—requires a lot o' thinkin'."

"Inferno and Smokescreen liked to play a card game that was common in Praxus during our breaks together," Red Alert chimed in when Jazz stopped to think. "It's more for gambling than just recreational though."

"Turbofox hunting was very common pastime among the mechs I once spent time with," Mirage added. He blinked at the stares he was given from his fellow Autobots. "What?"

"Is that even considered a game?" Red Alert wondered out loud.

Mirage shrugged and chose to ignore the looks he was being sent. "It was quite enjoyable for me."

"Seekers have unique games that grounders can't play." Victoria looked down to see that Thundercracker had climbed onto her leg to look at the Autobots on the other side. "There's one game that we play as younglings to help teach us how to hover in our bipedal form instead of flipping around and another that helps us learn how to fly through air currents. When we learn those skills, Seekers advance to more difficult games that require us to fly through obstacles or quickly shift from one form to the other. It's far easier to teach our kind these skills as younglings instead of waiting for our first adult frame, and because they are 'games,' younglings don't have a problem learning while they're playing."

"That's how some parents begin teaching their children before school age," Victoria commented, highly intrigued by what the jet had said. "But shouldn't you guys already know how to fly properly? You _are_ jets."

There was ascratchy "ha!" from the Decepticons' side of the couch, and Starscream joined his trine mate on her leg. "Do organic's come out knowing how to walk? Or do you grounder's automatically know how to steer without running into a wall?" He paused for them to shake their heads. "Then why should a Seeker automatically know how to fly? Even ones sparked into adult frames take time to properly learn how to get off the ground."

Starscream stared proudly at the stumped Autobots and thoughtful organic before being rudely shoved backwards, where he would have landed on Soundwave if the masked Decepticon hadn't moved at the last minute. Skywarp was now standing beside Thundercracker. "Ooh! There's also that game that involves flinging discs into a hoop that's constantly moving."

There was a shout from under the table before Rumble and Frenzy ran out, jumping up at the couch as they transformed into cassettes. They had just settled into Soundwave's chest when Barricade, now a car, squealed out from under the table and nearly ran the Autobot twins over in an effort to get out of the room as quickly as possible. With their attention on the fleeing cop car, their character on screen stopped wide out in the open and vulnerable to attack, which Bluestreak took advantage of and shot them from the spot where his and Prowl's character had been escaping down the fire escape to avoid Optimus and Ironhide, who had finally find a way to reach them. By the time their attention had been returned to the game at hand, their screen was black.

"No fair!" Sideswipe yelled, pointing at Bluestreak, who wiggled his door-wings with glee. "That was a cheap shot."

"But you did that during the first game," Bluestreak protested, letting Prowl run around the compound without his aid.

"So?"

"That was payback!"

Bluestreak let out a cry as the Twins tackled him, knocking Prowl away from the controller long enough for Optimus to catch up on screen and Ironhide to shoot. The Praxians' screen turned red before popping back up on the other side of the compound, but neither seemed concerned as Bluestreak tussled with the front-liners. Prowl took advantage of the situation and abandoned the game he had been dragged into, so Ironhide took control and began to search down Optimus, who had just decided to run in and out of the buildings without a care.

"Hey, don't hurt my Blue!" Victoria said above them, but was ignored as Sunstreaker managed to get the Datsun in a strangle hold, and Sideswipe tried to catch the pedes that were being kicked at him. She looked up to see Ironhide and Optimus still playing the game. "You guys don't have to continue if you don't want to."

"No, it is quite alright," Optimus said as he stretched across the controller to hit the button to shoot. Now he realized why there was two 'bots to a controller—playing alone required you to stretch awkwardly across the controller. "It is actually…entertaining in a way."

"No matter what their race, men always find joy in playing shooting games," she muttered under her breathe and shot off the couch when the tussling mechs crashed into the stack of game boxes she had set next to the console with the help of Swoop and Skywarp. "You guys stop it before you break something!"

They stopped only after Optimus looked up long enough to calmly order them to, and even then it became a game to hit each other when Victoria or one of the Autobot officers weren't looking. After Optimus and Ironhide's game had ended, Victoria decided that their game day was officially over and packed up the games, accessories, and consoles to put them by the door for the next day when she planned to take Wheeljack into town. Skywarp happily helped her, and no matter how sincere he might have seemed, it still got odd looks from everyone.

**[~]**

"You can't seriously be fine with this! He's acting like an _Autobot_ just to get her attention!"

Thundercracker looked up from where he had been staring down the high shelf at Skywarp, who was playing a harmless board game with Victoria, the front-liners, Bluestreak, and Swoop before their organic host retired for the night. The youngest Seeker looked oddly misplaced as he glanced at three cards and walked across the board to show one to the Dinobot. "Oh, come on, Starscream. It's just a little crush."

"Little?" Starscream screeched, pointing down at their trine mate. "He's a disgrace to the Decepticon name! Acting as if he was an Autobot—it just isn't right!"

The blue Seeker sighed. "It's just a phase; in a couple of days, he'll be back to his pranking self when he realizes that nothing is going to happen between them. Besides, you say he's not acting like a Decepticon, but he's doing an amazing job _deceiving_ Victoria into believing he is as kind as an Autobot." Starscream still looked like he wanted to protest, so Thundercracker was left with no choice but to bring out the big guns. "Anyway, didn't _you_ act a similar way to gain the attention of a _certain 'bot_ back when you were still attending the Science Academy?"

Starscream choked on whatever he was about to say and took a step back from the calm Thundercracker. "I didn't– that was– it's a completely different situation! We were the same species, and I was young and naïve!"

"Skywarp is around the same age as you were," Thundercracker pointed out before sighing. "Just leave him alone. He might as well have something to do while we're stuck here for however long."

"But-" Starscream started before Thundercracker glared at him. "Fine! But _you're_ dealing with the spark-broken moron." He paused to observe the game going on below them. "Megatron is more interested in what that Autobot is working on in that shed."

"Did you tell him that it was just human appliances he was fiddling with?" Thundercracker asked, his attention now fully on the SIC.

"Of course!" Starscream complained with an agitated flick of his wings. "We're out there every day, watching that deranged inventor, and who does our _glorious _leader believe? That blackmailing tape recorder! Soundwave does nothing but wonder the house and pick up _one_ conversation and suddenly he's more reliable than _me_—the Air Commander of the Decepticons and _Second in Command_! This is why I would make a better leader!"

Thundercracker sighed for a third time as Starscream went on a tangent about what a better leader he would be—the usual. There was a loud cry from below, and ignoring Starscream's rant, he looked down to see the red twin doing a victory dance while waving an oversized card in his brother's face. The yellow mech growled and that started a fight of them rolling around the table as they attempted to get the upper hand. The Dinobot was chiding the victor, saying something about not being a braggart, and Bluestreak was helping Victoria pick up the pieces alongside Skywarp.

The older Seeker knew that Skywarp's infatuation would be brief, just like he knew that Starscream knew. Skywarp's attention span just wasn't able to keep up with little crushes such as this one, and he would get over it as soon as he got tired of being in the presence of the Autobots, who seemed to stick to Victoria at least one mech at a time to likely "protect" her, even though she was fully capable of doing that on her own. That wouldn't be long, especially since the Praxian that almost seemed glued to her side was highly suspicious of him.

"Are you listening to me Thundercracker?" Starscream asked, bringing the blue mech's attention back to him. "I said that Megatron ordered double patrols around the engineer's shack."

"Won't that be a little suspicious?"

"I told him that! But does he listen? Of course not! That thick-helmed small fry barely even acknowledges my presence nowadays. Soundwave is creeping his way in to take my position—I know it!"

Thundercracker sighed again and listened with only half an audial to his trine leader's conspiracy theories. Another day in the life of Thundercracker—he sometimes envied those who didn't have Starscream.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I was reliving my childhood all throughout this childhood. Nintendo 64, the original Xbox, and when a PS2 was like a big brick—I was nerd even before the age of ten ;) And I know Lobbing comes from TF:P, but since it was never fully explained in the episode (apart from it being popular), I took the liberty of creating the "rules" of the game. Skywarp's pretty desperate to be acting like an Autobot—wonder how long that will last…and it was fun making Soundwave play DDR; completely out of character? Perhaps. A great visual to imagine? Hell yeah XD

I'll sort of be changing my writing style a bit for the next few chapters. I'm trying to practice writing more than just humor, so if there's little humor for a while, I apologize. I'll still try to keep it funny but it might get a little…serious I guess is the only way of saying it as I get some stuff out of the way; after all you have to remember the whole reason Victoria is at the cabin to begin with. It wasn't a very happy reason. Either way, it should only last a couple of chapters.

Until next Saturday :)

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><p><strong>EDITED: 115/2014 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	10. A Day with Wheeljack

_J_

Joor: ~1hour  
>Decivorn: 8.3 years<p>

"_Thinking."  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

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><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Nine

A Day with Wheeljack

* * *

><p><strong>Day 11<strong>

Though it was not an often occurrence, Bluestreak was as good at being quiet as he was at talking. He had been on missions that required him to be silent, and he had flawlessly performed those tasks while always having even more to talk about afterwards (that might have been why he wasn't often sent on them). This wasn't one of those times, but he still silently moved around the house, not wanting to gain any unwanted attention. Though silent on the outside, he kept up an endless one-sided conversation on the inside. Being _completely_silent just wasn't a good idea for him.

It was because of this that Bluestreak was taken off guard by the sudden presence of someone behind him. That someone grabbed one of his sensitive door-wings, making him yelp and automatically swing around to attack the unknown person. His fist connected with a helm that caused the mech to grunt and immediately let go. Bluestreak twisted around again and fell into an offensive position to aim his gun at the hostile presence.

Skywarp growled as he rubbed the side of his helm where the sharpshooter's fist had connected. "What was that for?"

"What do you want?" Bluestreak spat out while standing up, the gun still trained on one of the Seeker's most vulnerable spot: his right wing. Between the two of them, it was no secret that the Praxian held hostile feelings for the Seeker. He had always held those feelings for any Decepticon, but it had gotten personal the day that Thundercracker had mentioned his trine mate's attempts at "courting" their host. The thought just didn't sit well with him.

Skywarp simply smirked and casually placed his hands on his hips. "You won't shoot me. We're in one of the neutral rooms, and Vicky won't be too happy to hear that her little Autobot _pet_broke her rules."

Bluestreak scowled more at the way the Decepticon said Victoria's nickname, as if he knew her personally, than the jibe. "I can move you into the hallway before Victoria gets back."

The purple and black jet seemed a little thrown off by the cold statement, but not for the reasons he should have been when on the wrong end of a gun. "Wait, she isn't here? Where is she?"

The sharpshooter shook his head while slowly backing out of the room. "I'm not telling _you._"

"But she left without saying anything!" Skywarp said in despair and anger. "How could she just _leave_ without saying anything to me?"

"Just like how I'm about to," Bluestreak said and dashed out of the room. He heard Skywarp yell after him in surprise as he ran down the hallway to the bedroom. Now that the 'Cons knew that the human was gone, there was no telling what type of destruction they would attempt.

The Praxian was almost to the room when Skywarp suddenly appeared in front of him. With a yelp, he jumped back to avoid a collision and ended up being dragged back to Skywarpwhen the jet caught his bumper. "Where did she go, Autobot?" Bluestreak glared straight at the jet's cockpit, making said jet chuckle. "What, are you gonna rip my spark out?"

"No," the Datsun said. "But I've seen Victoria rip off enough arms to be able to do the same."

Skywarp had a look of shock frozen on his face as the grey mech reached out to grasp the top of the jet's arm and agilely lifted his pedes to shove off the jet's chest. The arm came off with an audible pop, and Bluestreak ran past him without another word. The Seeker blinked down at where his arm and the Praxian used to be before turning around with a growl. "You, fragger! Get back here with my arm!"

Bluestreak ignored the yells and ran into the safety of the bedroom where the rest of the Autobots were relaxing at their base. They looked up at the yells and stared at the arm that the young mech carried that obviously didn't belong to him. Bluestreak climbed up into the bookshelf and came to a stop in front of Optimus. "Skywarp knows Victoria's out of the house."

Optimus nodded. "Then it stands to reason that the other Decepticons will soon be informed." He glanced at the black arm before deciding it was best not to ask and turned to the other Autobots. "Autobots, prepare to roll out."

**[~]**

"Ooh, what's this do?"

Victoria blinked at the sudden rush of cold air that was blasting in her face. Wheeljack shook his helm as he experienced the same and turned the knob back. "Well, we could do without that." He left the knob alone in favor of climbing over into the passenger's seat to play with the controls on the door. "What's this do?"

"Wheeljack!" Victoria shouted as the window on his side began to roll down. She slammed her hand down on the control on her side, and the window stopped. "Stop that or you'll get sucked out of the window!"

The inventor let go of the button before stopping the window again. "I may be small, but I highly doubt I'll be 'sucked out of the window.'"

"I thought the same thing when I was little," the woman said, using her knees to keep the steering wheel straight while blindly reaching over for the engineer with one hand and keeping the other on the window control. "That's how I lost my last Barbie doll. Now, get over here, so I can keep you in line."

Wheeljack let up on the button and ducked around her hand until he sat in the middle console once more. Victoria sighed and put both hands back on the wheel just in time to put the turn signal on to get in the far right lane and onto their exit. "This was such a mistake. I should have just taken you to Wal-Mart. I can't even stop to think what the house will be like when we get back."

"Don't worry," Wheeljack reassured her with a pat on the arm. "Optimus has everything under control, and as long as no one goes into the shed, nothing will be blown sky high."

"What?"

"Huh, did you say something?"

Victoria glanced down at him as the car came to a red light and decided that by the flash of his fins that he had been joking. "Don't say stuff like that."

"I honestly do not know what you are referring to."

"Wheeljack, I'm honestly freaking out at leaving them alone for so long," Victoria confessed, letting Wheeljack crawl under her arm to look out her window. "What if they really do catch something on fire? Or Megatron has this dastardly plan? I vaguely remember from the cartoons that he always had a plan, but Optimus ended up stopping him. But still, there is some deadly stuff in that utility room that is at his disposal."

"Did you freak out this much the first time you left us alone?" Wheeljack asked. He waved at the little kid in the car beside them and watched the boy's mouth fall open as he turned to yell something at his mom in the front seat. "We were fine then."

"Yes, you were so fine that when I got home Jazz was being chased by a possessed lawnmower." Victoria glanced over at the kid and quickly pushed Wheeljack down just as the light changed. "Besides, I was only ten minutes away then. We're _two hours_ from the cabin, and I bet it takes us longer than an hour to get our stuff done and back on the road."

"Maybe we should make you a communicator to reach you," Wheeljack suggested, sliding off the window and into her lap. He didn't stay there long and was soon bouncing over into the other seat. Victoria was starting to understand where Swoop got all of his energy from now. "That would be a pretty big project…"

"Hey, I have a communicator," she said, awkwardly reaching into her pocket to pull out her cellphone. Wheeljack reached up for it, but she kept it out of his reach. "You are not blowing this thing up."

"I just wanna see it!" Wheeljack almost whined. She felt bad enough to let him hold it. "How interesting, but this is the thing that woke you up the first morning of our stay here. How do you communicate with it?"

"You hit dial and put a number in," Victoria answered, taking the phone away when he attempted to do just that. "You act like you've never seen a phone before. Don't you guys have phones back home?"

"As a matter of fact, we do not," Wheeljack said and tapped the side of his helm when Victoria had another chance to glance down at him. "We have comm. links to keep in touch. Each mech has his own frequency code that can be exchanged with any other 'bot to establish a link. It's even possible to be open to multiple frequencies at once, though that wasn't so commonly used before the war."

"A phone in your head," the woman mused, following a pair of cars into strip mall. "You little mechs keep coming up with new things to amaze me every day you're here, you know that?"

"We _are_ an amazing race," Wheeljack said with pride and climbed onto the dashboard to see the store that they had pulled up to. "Is this where we can get the parts?"

"No," Victoria answered him, reaching across the seat to grab her purse. "This is where I sell the games to pay for your needs." She climbed out the car to open the back door and grabbed the first box of games. Wheeljack jumped off the dashboard to climb into the back with her. "You stay here while I do this."

"Aw, why can't I come?" the engineer asked, curious to see how the organic interacted with those of her kind.

"Because the last thing I need is for you to get into something you shouldn't," Victoria told him after placing the box on the roof and reaching for the second one. "And it would be like tempting fate to have you within a sanctuary for nerds where I could possibly sell you to the highest bidder."

Victoria took the second box and closed the door with her hip. On the inside of the car, Wheeljack climbed up to look at her through the window, and she had to resist the urge to open the door and let him come with her. How were all these little alien robots able to pull at her heartstrings with just the right brightness setting of their optics?

The young woman walked into the store after thanking the exiting customer for holding the door open for her and placed the heavy box down on the counter with a sigh. The employee behind the counter—a slightly scruffy young man who looked around her age—looked up from the gaming magazine he was reading, and his eyes slightly widened. "Hello, how may I help you?"

"I'm here to sell three game systems, accessories, and a whole box full of games," Victoria answered curtly as the man pulled a controller from the box. "I just need to go get the games from-"

Both of them and the other two game store customers jumped at the sudden sound of an earsplitting car alarm. Victoria looked out the window and felt a nerve above her eye twitch as she caught sight of a little white form jumping off of the door he had just attempted to open. "From the car that has now gained the attention of everyone within a three mile radius."

She should know by now that Wheeljack was incapable of behaving when left alone.

**[~]**

The Deceptions had done many treacherous things. Destroying whole cities, taking innocent lives, stealing Energon to serve their own goals—it was a long and growing list where many of the Decepticon's victories disheartened the Autobots. Of course, there was a silver lining to every dark cloud. The Autobots had foiled the Decepticons just as many times and saved as many lives as they could. They risked their lives to prevent the Decepticons from completing their vile schemes.

Alas, this was not one of those serious or heroic times.

"Return the remote, and we won't shoot down your sorry frame!"

Starscream laughed above them and danced around in the air with the controller held above his head. "What are you pathetic Autobots going to do? Talk me to death?"

"Bluestreak." Sideswipe turned to speak to the young mech behind him, who still held Skywarp's severed arm. "You heard him. Work your magic."

Bluestreak glared and swatted the arm at him. "What's that supposed to mean? I know I talk a lot, but I've never talked a mech to death. I'm offended you even said that!"

Sunstreaker growled impatiently at the two and turned to shoot at the Seeker, gaining a cowardly shriek as the beam of gunfire nearly took off a wing. "Will you two stop whining and get the slagging remote? _Desperate Housewives _is having an entire marathon today, and I don't wanna miss it!"

Sideswipe and Bluestreak stopped bickering to look at Sunstreaker with a sort of "What the frag?" look. Sunstreaker growled again. "Don't look at me like that! I don't question your fascination with _Dancing with the Stars._"

"That's because the show is about talent!" Sideswipe said, pointing a finger at his brother. "The slag you watch is just drama, drama, drama! Even Vicky thinks it's dumb."

Sunstreaker threw his gun to the side to get into his brother's face. "Shut up! You've never even watched it, so don't talk slag about my show. The only thing your show is good for is taking up a time slot!"

The red twin gasped in offense and shoved the yellow one away. "Take that back! Besides, your show is just an overdone story line!"

"And yours is like a re-run every week!"

Bluestreak looked back and forth between the fighting brothers and slowly stepped away, Skywarp's arm held up as if to defend himself if one of them suddenly snapped. The escalating fight was only stopped when the controller was thrown in between them, and Starscream landed beside them. "You're both wrong! The best organic show is _America's Next Top Model. _It has drama, humor, and a group of femmes fighting each other for a worthless prize."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stared at the Seeker in surprise before turning back to each other. "_Desperate Housewives."_

"_Dancing with the Stars."_

"_America's Next Top Model!"_

The three of them kept arguing, ignoring Bluestreak, who was still slowly backing away. What went from a battle for the remote, and ultimately the TV, had become a fight between which organic show was the best. Now Bluestreak understood why Victoria had told them not to watch too much TV, especially the shows that were targeted towards organic femmes. Besides, everyone knew the best show was _Dance Moms._

"Starscream!"

Starscream cut off his rant to flinch and look behind him at the coffee table. Megatron stood above them,scowling down at his second-in-command, and the Autobots quietly wondered how the now tiny mech had managed to get up there on his own. "What are you doing?"

"I'm doing exactly as you told me Lord Megatron!" Starscream yelled, shoving Sideswipe into Sunstreaker and grabbing the controller once more. With the Twins attempting to stand again, he flew up to the table and placed the device in front of the head 'Con. "The controller to the TV, Lord Megatron."

Starscream shrieked as Megatron shot at his feet. "Excellent, Starscream, it just took you three joors to get it! Could you not handle three Autobots on your own?"

"Of course!" the SIC cried in defense. "I was merely-"

"Wasting time!" Megatron finished, shooting at Starscream once more. He smirked at the squeal; he was starting to enjoy shooting at his officer—it was an amazing stress reliever. "Now, work this primitive organic device."

Starscream nodded and pressed the button at the top of the remote. The TV flickered on to the last channel from last night's channel surfing, playing some show about a guy that traveled around the world and consumed different organic fuel. Megatron scowled at the gross monstrosity the man was attempting to shove into his mouth. "Find the right frequency."

The Seeker began clicking through the channels, for once ignoring his leader's growlwhen he paused on a channel showing a group of military jets flying around. Bluestreak, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker watched the two on the table in surprise. Since when had _Megatron_ been interested in the human entertainment? When Starscream had flipped through most of the channels, Sideswipe finally realized what a good idea it would be to contact the others. _:Uh, guys?:_

_:Is there a problem__,__ Sideswipe?: _Optimus immediately answered.

_:I'm not sure…: _Sideswipe trailed off, watching Megatron order Starscream to pause once before continuing through the stations. _:But I think Megatron has finally lost his mind.:_

_:I'm on my way,: _Optimus said before closing the link. Sideswipe nodded absently and watched with his brother and younger friend as Megatron finally got tired of Starscream's slow speed and began to repeatedly jump on the channel changing button. It actually slowed down the process even more, which the jet made a priority of pointing out and was properly ignored by his superior.

Optimus came rolling into the living room with Prowl and Jazz behind him, and they rolled to a stop beside the table to transform. "Megatron, you will stop this-" he paused when he finally realized what was happening. "…channel surfing?"

"Optimus Prime!" Megatron said with exaggerated surprise as he left the controller to Starscream and went to stand on the edge of the table to stare down at his rival. "You're too late! Soon I'll-"

"Ooh, stop right there!" Jazz interrupted, pointing at the screen after he and Prowl transformed. The TV stopped, and the saboteur grinned as he bobbed his head in time with the music. "Ah love this channel! Plays nothin' but music all day, every day."

Prowl frowned at the strange way Jazz began to shake his hips in rhythm with the music, and Megatron growled as he stalked back over to Starscream to shove him out of the way and continued searching for the right station. "Infernal noise! No wonder this device has been frying the circuits of half of my forces."

"Megatron…what exactly is it that you're doing?" the Prime asked with honest confusion. "Our host is missing for the cycle, and you are taking the opportunity to immerse yourself in human culture?"

"Don't be stupid!" the grey mech yelled, finally seeming to find a channel to his liking. He strutted back to the edge of the table and smirked down at the Autobots, ignoring how half of them watched the television instead of him. "This is just the first step in my plan. I will use this technology to brainwash the human population to be my slaves!"

There was silence among the mechs, with only the sound of the TV in the background. Then there was a snort that morphed into a snicker, and then a laugh, which multiplied into two before there was a small chorus. Prowl's initial frown was now directed up at the fierce Decepticon, whose SIC was laughing along with the four Autobots behind him, and Optimus looked just as confused as before. "Make them your slaves? Megatron, how do you honestly plan on doing that?"

"Their puny minds are already being turned to mush by this so called 'entertainment,'" Megatron informed him as the TV screen in front of them burst with color and a strange, colorful animal flew across the screen. "It is only but a small step to completely brainwash them."

"Megatron, you can't do that."

"Don't try to-"

"No, seriously, you can't do it," Optimus protested with the most sincerity that he could muster, which was actually quite a good bit. "I know this is hard for you to accept, but you are a child's toy that is only an inch tall. You do not have the means to brainwash the people of Earth. You don't even have the means to leave the cabin."

"You dare deny my power?" Megatron growled while glaring down at Optimus. By this time, the laughing had stopped, and all of the mechs in the room were staring at the pair of leaders as the air became tense. "Then I will show you why my troops still fear me despite my size. Die, Prime!"

What happened next would have been comical if the Kreon mech hadn't been intent on killing the Autobot leader. Megatron flung himself over the edge of the table and landed on Optimus' face, where he then proceeded to yank at the antennae that sat on each side of his enemy's helm. Optimus let out a surprised yell before trying to pry his little rival off his head. While he did that, the Twins stood on the sidelines laughing as Bluestreak and Jazz attempted to restrain their snickers. Prowl stared at his leader's struggle with an almost-but-not-quite amused glint in his optics.

Optimus managed to yank the 'Con off of his head and tossed him to the side, where he haphazardly landed before immediately jumping back up. "Decepticons, attack!"

"Now this makes more sense," Sideswipe said giddily as Barricade skidded around the recliner he had been stationed behind to bear down on the small group. The front-liner transformed and played a game of chicken with the Decepticon, which ended with Barricade swerving to the side to avoid a head-on crash. "Come and get me, copper!" Barricade's wheels spun on the carpet as he took off after the red car and the yellow one that tried to ram him when he followed.

"Bluestreak, focus on Starscream; Jazz, distract Soundwave and his Cassettes," Prowl ordered when Soundwave appeared around the doorframe with his Cassettes racing ahead of him. The strategist looked back at Optimus and Megatron after giving the orders and found the Prime trying to keep track of the Kreon as he weaved in and out of the taller mech's legs. "I will contact the others and tell them to head this way."

Jazz gave his friend a salute before running towards the Communications Officer, frog-leaping over Rumble and sidestepping a lunging Frenzy. The Cassettes took this as a personal challenge and raced after him instead of heading towards Bluestreak, their original target. That didn't matter as Jazz was now thoroughly distracting the Decepticons he was ordered to distract by dancing around the stoic mech, and Bluestreak took up shooting at Starscream, missing him by only a fraction as someone suddenly yanked him backwards.

"Where is my arm?" Skywarp glowered down at him after spinning the sharpshooter around to face him.

"Right here!" Bluestreak answered while at the same time swinging the arm around to connect with the side of the Seeker's head. The mech watched the jet jerk to the side from the force of the hit and released him. He looked down at the arm and then over at the purple and black jet lying on the ground with a look of shock on his face. "I just slapped you with your arm…" Bluestreak burst into a fit of giggles and ran across the room to chase after Starscream, who was shooting at Optimus as the Prime was finally able to get a hold of the dodgy Megatron.

After Bluestreak had run off, Thundercracker landed beside the still shocked Skywarp. He looked down at his one-armed, slack-jawed trine mate and shook his head. "Are you alright, Skywarp?"

His question seemed to knock the younger Seeker out of his daze, and he shot up to look wildly around the living room that was slowly becoming a battleground as the rest of the Autobots and Decepticons joined them. "Where is he? The fragger just _slapped _me with my own slagging arm!"

The blue jet watched Skywarp run across the battlefield, his ability to transform having been taken from him when he first lost his arm, and he frowned at how close his fellow Decepticon came to being decapitated by a stray bullet. But the purple jet was too focused on catching the Praxian, who managed to evade him _and_ keep firing at Starscream with deadly accuracy, all while keeping a firm grip on Skywarp's arm, to realize that he had come so close to death. Thundercracker ended up just sighing with mild annoyance before transforming to assist Starscream with the aerial assault.

The battle raged within the living room, leaving behind scorch marks and pin sized holes on the furniture. And it all started over the TV, because no matter how hard Megatron argued that he had been trying to enslave the human race, everybody just believed that he had gotten bored in his dryer and wanted to watch the big screen that Rumble and Frenzy always talked about.

**[~]**

"I could really use something like that."

"Focus, Wheeljack."

"I am, and I can totally use it."

"I am not buying a power saw! You wouldn't even be able to use it because of how tiny you are."

Wheeljack disappeared back into the pocket of Victoria sweatshirt when a couple turned onto their aisle. He waited patiently until she tapped him through the shirt to let him know it was okay to come back out. "Well, I can't have a power saw, I can't have a power drill, and you won't even let me touch that thing called a nail gun."

Victoria gave a nervous laugh, and Wheeljack retreated again so that they could travel to another aisle. "You really have to wonder why I won't let you touch it?"

"My point is, what am I allowed to have?" the engineer asked as soon as he could. "Besides my ability at creating unforeseeable accidents—" He stopped at the look she shot down at him. "Okay, okay! Some of them are foreseeable, but I have to persevere until I perfect them. But that aside, what other reason do you have for distrusting me so much? Sure,I make a fire or an explosion every once in a while—" Another look was sent his way. "Okay! So, I make them more often than most people, but I put them out…where was I going with this again?"

Victoria sighed. "Do you have a list of what you need?"

"I definitely need wire."

"But you have wire," she interrupted him, heading in the direction of the proper aisle anyway. "What do you need more for?"

"The wire at the house is old, fraying, and I may have accidentally made it unusable. Now, don't interrupt me as I make a list off the top of my head." Victoria patiently waited for him to think of his list, looking up and down the aisles for any nosy people. "Now that I think about, it isn't much. I have that old thing you call Gameboy back at the house waiting to be used, but I need the wire to connect it to the generator and, perhaps, a circuit breaker to quickly cut off the power if I need to. Ooh, I know! I need a little light bulb that's a bright color."

"Why?" Victoria couldn't resist asking.

"To make it look cool when I power it up."

Victoria let out a surprised laugh that attracted stares as they came to the end of one aisle and quickly shuffled up the next. "Oh, Wheeljack, I can almost honestly say that I'm not surprised by your reason."

"So I can get it?" he asked as his fins glowed bright enough to be seen through Victoria's shirt.

"Why not?" she answered with another chuckle. "One tiny light bulb isn't going to cause much harm." She paused and glanced down at where he stuck his head out of her pocket. "You made it seem like you were in need of a lot more than just wire and a light bulb…you didn't really need anything, did you?"

"Not really," Wheeljack readily admitted, ducking back in for a second before popping back out. "But come on—you were practically _begging_ for an excuse to get out of there. You were on the very edge of cracking, and I'm honestly surprised you didn't offline someone earlier."

Victoria just shook her head and pulled Wheeljack out after looking up and down the aisle and placed him on the shelf below the hanging bundles of wire. Wheeljack looked up at them and jumped up to pull at one bundle. He shook his head and moved on to the next, doing the same as he had with the first. He made his way down the short shelf, pausing to pull on each set of wire, until he stood once more in front of Victoria, a finger rubbing the bottom of his blast mask. "None of these feel right."

"What are you talking about?" the woman asked, looking at each set. "They all look the same."

"But they don't _feel right,_" Wheeljack repeated and pulled on the bundle in front of him. "It's just not the right thing. This one sort of feels right, but it isn't."

"Wheeljack, just choose one," Victoria said almost impatiently. "There's something I need to get here too, and we need to start heading back as soon as possible."

"I can't just choose one," the engineer protested while going down the line again. "The last time I used wire that didn't feel right, well…"

"Well, what?"

"Most mechs don't know this but the _Ark_ was actually a lot smaller before a certain, uh, _incident_ required an intensive remodeling that ended with a completely new section being added on. Teletraan I wouldn't speak to me for almost a decivorn after that…" Wheeljack trailed off and turned to see Victoria raking a hand through her hair. "Point is, if you don't want a big boom, let me find wire that feels right. You can go and do what you need to; I'll behave."

"You swear," the woman asked, leaning in to look directly in his optics.

"Cross my spark and hope to rust."

Victoria straightened slowly, never taking her eyes off of him until she stood straight once more. "You better not make any of these wires explode."

"I've never made wires explode—just spark," he said sincerely and used his hands to shoo her away. "Now, go do your business, interact with you organic brethren. Your social skills with them are seriously lacking."

"They are not," she protested, looking back at him over her shoulder as she slowly walked away. "I interact with people perfectly fine."

"You couldn't even keep a conversation going with the guy at the game shop."

"I do not need a tiny alien pointing out my social flaws," Victoria grumbled, already out of his hearing range. She looked back down the aisle at him, watching as he hid behind a row of boxes when a man entered the aisle from the other end and stopped to look at the shelves across the aisle from him. Unlike the younger mechs that had tagged along with her to the store, Victoria felt more confident that Wheeljack would stay out of sight. He seemed to have enough sense to do that, despite all the explosions he had supposedly survived through.

With a sigh, she pushed him to the corner of her mind for the moment and quickly walked across the store to the paint section. Eventually, the colors in the cabin would have to be changed because having a different neon color for each room wasn't practical, and this was the only chance she would probably have in her limited time to get the paint needed to change them. Besides, the pink in her room was beginning to grind her nerves.

Victoria smiled slightly and shook her head at a store employee, who had stopped to ask if she needed any assistance and stood in front of the samples of paint colors. The logical choice would be to just get a palette of neutral colors; that way whoever bought the cabin in the end could go back and easily repaint it any color they wished. She picked up an off white color before replacing it and allowing her hand to stray to a bright blue. She had always wanted to paint her apartment blue…she grabbed a color that looked like a bright kiwi green. That color would actually look good in the kitchen.

Soon she had ten different colors lined up in front of her, ranging from a deep burgundy to a soft lavender, but surprisingly, none of them were neutral. She picked up each color to inspect it and put back three, but that still left seven to choose from. There was the green that would look perfect for the kitchen; a bright blue for the bathroom; the lavender for her room—no wonder none of the rooms back at the cabin matched! With so many colors to choose from, how could you limit yourself to just a few?

She snatched up all the colors she had chosen before she could change her mind and seized an abandoned shopping cart on her way to the paint mixing station. She was greeted by a smiling older, middle-aged woman in a paint stained apron. "Hi there! How can I help ya today, darlin'?" Victoria placed the color samples before her, and the older woman's eyes widened. "I haven't seen such a variety in colors for a while." She picked up the dark orange and looked down at the chart to mix it. "You know, the last time I made so many different colors in one go, they were all neon."

Victoria tensed as the mixing machine came on to create the first color. "Neon?"

"Strange, isn't it?" the woman said, not noticing how her customer had tensed up. "Guy came in with his own color samples and the instructions on how to create them. Nice boy, looked pretty young for his age. Mistook him for being twenty one, and he laughed at me before saying he was thirty. He honestly didn't look like it with that smile of his."

"How long ago was this?" Victoria asked as one paint pail was put on the counter and the next was being mixed.

"Oh, about…three months ago, maybe," the woman said after a pause to think. "It wasn't the first time I had seen him, though. I've worked here for nearly twenty years and the only two customers that ever stood out to me was this one guy who wore all his clothes backwards and that boy. He always came in covered in something—paint, marker, charcoal, anything! And he visited every few months to pick up a buggy full of paint. I almost thought he was using it for, well, _illegal things_, but my co-worker, who worked back here at the time, said he just liked to repaint his house every so often. That Tabitha was always nosy about things and wasn't bothered at all to ask him why he needed so much paint. They were even dating before her accident."

Victoria snapped out of her slight daze to see five pails in front of her now and the woman working on her sixth. Tabitha…that name sounded familiar… "What happened?"

"Poor dear," the paint-mixer said softly as she banged the top of a pail closed. "Was driving up to her boyfriend's cabin one evening almost two years ago, and her car slipped on the ice. Rammed right into a tree and died on impact. Tragic accident. I didn't see the paint boy for months after that until he popped up wanting neon colors." She finished the last color and placed it beside the others. "I read in the newspaper that the boy died after a hit-and-run not too long ago. Such a shame."

"Well, thanks for mixing my paint," Victoria said, quickly picking the pails up and putting them into her stolen buggy. "It was nice chatting too. Haven't had such a long talk with a person since coming up here."

"What brings you up here?" the employee asked as she helped Victoria, even though the younger woman protested against it. "Sweetie, I'm paid to help the customers. If I don't help, I'm not doing my job."

"Thanks," Victoria said curtly and swung her heavy shopping cart around while ignoring the other woman's still curious look. "As you can see, I've got a lot of rooms to paint, so I should get going now."

"Of course," the elderly one said and stood aside. "Don't let me and my nosy questions keep you. Good luck!"

Victoria gave her a shaky smile and walked off as quickly as she could. When she was a safe distance away, she paused to lean on the buggy's handlebar and cradle her head. Not only had she done the exact opposite of what she intended, with the color choosing and all, but she had just found out that her brother had been here only three months ago to get the funky paint he splattered all over his walls. And he did it often enough for employees to recognize him. Not to mention he had been _dating _one of them at one time…a fact that honestly shouldn't have surprised her as much as it had.

She rubbed at the stinging feeling in her eyes. Little bits and pieces of her brother's life were beginning to be uncovered and put into place, not only from finding things in his home, but also from hearing it from other people. And the more and more she uncovered, the harder and harder it was becoming to hold onto the negative feelings she had tried so hard to cling to over the years. If those feelings were gone, what would she be left with? She had lived on that hate for so long, allowed it to guide her on how to interact with other people—to not let them get so close. To think about all that wasted time just over a naïve, _childish_ choice she had made…

Her head shot up at the sound of a loud popping noise, multiple noises in fact, and she blinked at the sudden bright light that emitted from the other end of the store. The side she had left Wheeljack on…alone…unsupervised…

With fragmented thoughts floating around in her head, Victoria began to run towards the aisle that the people within the hardware store were beginning crowd around, forgetting the buggy of paint she left behind. She shoved through the crowd and stared wide-eyed at the mess of glass that littered the floor from the broken bulbs of the many light fixtures that were on display. But she had left the crazy engineer three aisles away! How could he have possibly made it to that aisle?

There was a tug on the end of her pants, and Victoria looked down and covered her mouth to keep in her sudden urge to scream. Wheeljack stared up at her, fins brightly lit and hand waving, with a small package containing a replaceable bulb for Christmas lights and small bundle of wire sitting beside him. After glancing around and making sure no one was looking in their direction, she swooped down and grabbed the inventor and his things before hurriedly returning to her abandoned buggy and throwing Wheeljack in the buggy's seat with her purse. After that she steered the shopping cart in the direction of the check-out area without looking back once.

"I found my bulb," Wheeljack said while throwing his two items into the bigger part of the shopping cart. "By the looks of it, it should light up to be a pretty green. Perfect for the Bridge. Oh, and I finally found the right wire and—why do you look like Ratchet on a horrible twin pranking day?"

"I'm holding it in," Victoria answered, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the handlebar too tightly. "If I do anything now, you will be headless, and I will forever have little mechs terrorizing me every day for the rest of my life."

"You and Ratchet need to find less violent ways to express your emotions. You know, Smokescreen once suggested-"

"_Wheeljack._"

"That's exactly what Ratchet said. You even got the growl down right!"

**[~]**

"So you just jumped off the shelf and started walking around the store?"

"Sure! It was pretty easy to get around without being seen even with my wire."

Victoria sighed for the hundredth time since Wheeljack had told her how he went from one aisle to the next. "But, Wheeljack, what if someone had looked down?"

"But they didn't," Wheeljack protested as he played with his pretty, little light. "You humans don't look down very often."

"But what if they _had_, Wheeljack?" Victoria insisted while accelerating down the interstate and back to the cabin.

"I would have transformed and rolled out," the engineer said, glancing up at her before returning to his light. "I don't always need Optimus there to tell me when I need to do that."

"What if transforming didn't get you away fast enough? What would you have done if someone had tried to step on you? Or taken you back home to rip you apart and see how you worked? Or sold you on eBay to a desperate nerd?"

Wheeljack finally put down his light bulb to look at her properly. "Aren't you worrying a little too much about this? None of that happened—I'm completely fine!"

Victoria groaned and barely focused on turning off the interstate and onto the last main road they would drive on for the next ten minutes of the trip. "I'm trying to make a point,Wheeljack! You can't just wander off like that in public, if I ever take you back out that is! I don't know how your kind works outside of the little group of mechs back at the cabin, but there are a lot of humans who don't care about anything but themselves and will harm anything they want if it means accomplishing some sort of goal. Some even do it because they think it's _fun. _A little toy who can walk and talk and _think_ on its own is very vulnerable to those kind of people!"

Wheeljack sat in the passenger's seat and watched Victoria gasp after coming to the end of her rant. When her breathing had returned to normal, he climbed up the seat to stand above her shoulder and poke her cheek. "You care about what happens to us. For all the threats you give us about selling us on the internet or throwing us out when we break things, you _care_!"

"Don't rub it in," Victoria said, swatting his tiny hand away and almost making him fall off the seat. "The last thing I need is for the others to not fear me because they know that what happens to you guys matters to me."

"Your secret is safe with me!" he reassured her as he hopped down her seat and back to his. "But only on the condition that you let me make you a cleaning drone. You spend way too much of your time cleaning."

Victoria smiled as the turn off to the cabin approached. "A cleaning drone doesn't sound so bad. I can take it back home when this is over." Her smile turned to a frown, and she sped up to pass the road she needed to turn onto. "Have you ever had fast food before?"

"Where's it going, and why does it have to be quick about it?" Wheeljack asked with confusion and looked back at the road to the cabin. "How come you passed the road?"

"I'm giving them a couple of more minutes to clean up the mess they made."

"Well, aren't you being gracious?"

"I have this feeling that if I returned now, some Transformers will be sleeping with the raccoons again."

**[~]**

"We're going to be evicted! No wait, we're past eviction—we're dead! We're dead, evicted mechs!"

Ratchet swung away from the part of the cabinet he was scrubbing to smack Red Alert across the back of the helm. "Pull it together and take that broken glass to the trash! We are not dead or evicted if we can get as much cleaned up as possible before she gets back."

Red Alert did as he was told, but he didn't return to his post beside Ratchet, who didn't care as he muttered and went back to trying to get the scorch marks off the entertainment system. Instead, the Security Director joined Mirage with helping Jazz and Prowl get the stuff back on the small table in the corner of the room.

"Hey, how do you get scuff marks off of this squishy floor?" Sideswipe asked as he wiped at the black tire marks that had been made by him, Sunstreaker, and Barricade during their epic chase. He removed the rag he was using and choked on a squeak. "I made it worse!"

"Don't sound like such a femme," Sunstreaker muttered before scrubbing at the spots with a wet washcloth. The scuff came up and left behind only a faded grey streak to indicate it was even there to begin with. He looked up to see his brother staring with barely restrained laughter. "If this gets back to the squishy, I'm coming after you."

"I don't think we're doing too bad of a job," Bluestreak commented to Ironhide, swinging the arm he still kept captive with an air of careless innocence. "It could have been worse."

"And how's that?" Ironhide grunted as he lifted a TV guide above his head to be passed off to Optimus, who stood on top of the coffee table.

"I don't know. I'm just trying to be positive." Bluestreak poked at the unattached arm before flinging it above his head with his own in an epiphany. "Wheeljack could have been involved!"

Ironhide stared at him before nodding with a grunt. "Good point."

All of the mechs in the room froze as they heard the front door open. "Guys, we're back."

Everyone abandoned their positions to run out the room and intercept their host before she could see the mess that had been created. Unfortunately, a certain Seeker was able to reach her first and was hovering in front of her face and waving his one arm around. "—and I didn't even do anything! I've been walking around without an arm all day and haven't even been able to transform."

"Well, who did it?" Victoria asked, bending down to place two heavy looking containers beside the door. Wheeljack walked around her with a noisy sack trailing behind him and waved at the assembled Autobots.

"That little—" Skywarp was rudely cut off as his arm connected with the back of his head and sent him tumbling through the air to be caught by the human. "What the?"

Victoria bent down to the pick the tiny piece up and held it in front of the jet. "Is this what you've been missing?"

Skywarp stared at the arm before turning to glare down at where Bluestreak stood, his bright optics looking innocent but his door-wings twitching with repressed laughter. "That little fragger did it! He ripped it off after you left and has been running around with it all day, slapping me with it!"

Bluestreak looked up at Victoria, neither denying nor confessing the action, and she sighed. "I can't punish him unless I saw him with the arm, just like I don't punish you guys if I don't see you breaking the rules with my own eyes. If I did that, you'd all be dead for fighting in the living room every night." Even Skywarp tensed in her hand as she said that. "Oh yeah, I know what you guys are doing, since Prowl told me. You're good at covering it up, by the way."

She sighed and walked towards the living room, stepping over the group of mechs even as they protested. "What damage have you done this time? It can't be that bad." She froze when she saw the living room. "What the hell did you do?"

"Megatron started it," Sideswipe immediately confessed. "His processor has finally fried, and he tried to take over humans through the television."

Victoria looked up at the ceiling. "But how did you get bullet holes in the ceiling? You've never done that before!"

"Bluestreak was kind of crazy today." The sharpshooter shoved the red front-liner standing beside him. "What? You ran around with a severed arm all day giggling. Ow!"

Swoop flew up before her and waved around the rag he had been cleaning the higher parts of the wall with. "Me Swoop try to fix, but me no lie when say was better medic."

Victoria rubbed her forehead with the hand that wasn't holding Skywarp. "Next time I leave, I'll threaten the Decepticons. Maybe that will curb some of the fighting."

"Nope," Skywarp confessed as she walked out of the room and down the hallway. "But that doesn't matter because you're not leaving without me again. Now, how am I going to fix my arm? Soundwave isn't the best medic."

"I'll fix it after I speak to Megatron," Victoria said before pausing to rub her stomach as if in slight pain. She glanced down at the Autobots still standing in the entrance of the living room. "Don't worry about the living room. Just let Wheeljack tell you how hard he made my day."

Wheeljack's fins lit up as the others turned to stare at him while Victoria and Skywarp headed to the Decepticon's base, and he held up his light bulb for all to see. "Look at my pretty light!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I was still able to keep a pretty good amount of humor in there ;) And if you haven't noticed yet, Wheeljack is my favorite Autobot. That's why I make him so funny, but I have absolutely no clue what he's making to get them back home…it's sort of just random rubbish I put together to make him sound smart…anywho! Insight on what Victoria is thinking about her brother (because that's somehow important and will brought back up again soon) and Megatron's dastardly plans to enslave all humans through TV…he should have started with the internet.

In other news, I have a new poll up that will help me decide what to start writing next. **Pint Sized** is still my top priority, but I won't lie; I've encountered a small patch of writer's block because of some of the ideas that are just _begging _to be written. Those ideas are on my profile, and since I don't plan on writing them all (because that would drive me insane) I have some that are up for adoption. So go check them out, help me decide what to start on next. Just take the time to read the ideas and vote for which one you like best. It'll be a lot of help to me.

Until next Saturday :)

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><p><strong>EDITED: 120/2014 (Grammer, missing words)**


	11. Illness

**AN: **I was kind of late posting but I, uh...went to watch a movie. It was a lot better than I expected it to be too ^_^ _Beowulf828 _was kind enough to read this chapter ahead of time for me; he's actually been doing that for a while now and I am truly thankful for that. Besides that, I had _way_ too much inspiration for this chapter. I don't if it's irony or karma, but having a stomach virus while writing a chapter like this was not fun =_=

Joor: ~1 hour  
>Deca-cycle: ~3 weeks<br>Breem: ~8.3 minutes

"_Thinking"  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Ten

Illness

* * *

><p><strong>Day 12<strong>

"Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Ratchet, Rat-!"

"What!" the medic yelled as what little patience he had finally snapped. Swoop landed on the table next to Ratchet, who stood in front of Optimus and Prowl. They didn't appear fazed by the med-bot's sudden outburst. "Swoop, in case you can't see that _I am very busy,_ allow me to tell you that _I am very busy!"_

Unlike most 'bots, who would have immediately cowered in the presence of an angry Ratchet, Swoop just tilted his head in question. "What crawl up Doc-bot's tailpipe?"

Ratchet could feel his mouth fall slightly open before snapping it closed at hearing Optimus behind him trying to restrain a chuckle. Instead, the medic placed his servos on his hips and critically stared at the being he had helped create. "Those Twins are a bad influence on you."

Swoop shrugged and grabbed one of his co-creator's arms to pull in the direction of the hallway. "Not important. Something wrong with her Victoria!"

"What do you mean 'wrong?'" Ratchet asked as he was dragged to the edge of the table. Swoop transformed and grasped the medic's shoulders with his talons before flying off towards the bedroom. Ratchet stared down at the ground after the sudden take off and realized how grateful he was to have a four-wheeled frame. "Swoop!"

"She not get up!" the pterodactyl said worriedly, ignoring his twitchy passenger. "He Red Alert even worried. Say Decepticons poison her!"

Ratchet sighed, forgetting the height he was at. Of course, Red Alert wouldn't _think_ before starting a panic with the Dinobot. Telling Swoop their host had been poisoned—no wonder the mech was so worried! Why, Ratchet supposed the only thing wrong was that Victoria didn't want to get up. She had displayed that quirk on several occasions during their first cycles here.

Swoop flew through the door to not unceremoniously deposit the medic beside a pile of blankets in the shape of a curled up Victoria, to which Ratchet grumbled about. The Dinobot did a tight circle above them and landed beside the other mech in his bipedal form. "She no respond." He poked the mountain of blankets, which didn't move at all. "See?"

Ratchet sighed and looked over at the Autobot base. Red Alert and Mirage sat in the second shelf, Red Alert openly staring at them while Mirage flipped through a magazine he had been given that was almost twice his size. Bluestreak was below in the "med-bay," laying on one of the overturned books in recharge. Apparently, ripping a Seeker's arm off the day before and running around the cabin to keep it away had left the young mech exhausted. Since everyone else was already out and about, Ratchet turned back to the mound of blankets known as Victoria and sighed.

He roughly shoved her. "It's time to get up."

No response. He frowned and shoved her again, this time putting more effort into it. "I said, get up! We don't need you lazing around all day."

Still no response, and Ratchet was beginning to get impatient. If Victoria wanted to ignore him, then that was just fine and dandy. He was in no way responsible for what came next. After all, if she had responded then he wouldn't have to resort to such actions. Ratchet walked to the top of the bed where Victoria's head should have been and found the edge of the blanket as well as a few strands of black hair fanned out across the pillow. He grasped the edge of the blanket and yanked it down. "I said-"

Victoria hissed and sent the medic flying as she shot out of bed. Her sudden movement covered both Swoop and Ratchet and elicited a small, startled yell from Red Alert in the bookshelf. By the time Swoop and Ratchet had crawled out from under the cloth, Victoria was across the hall in the bathroom. Ratchet growled in displeasure while sliding off the bed. He didn't look over at the bookshelf, where Red Alert was climbing down, Mirage was watching with mild curiosity, and Bluestreak had shot up like Victoria and was busy trying to get his optics to online correctly. No, the medic ignored everything until he was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, where he paused at what he saw.

Victoria was doubled over the toilet, gagging harshly and using one hand to grip the lid of the toilet while the other wrapped around her waist. The impatience that had welled up vanished as Ratchet hurried over to the organic, ignoring the sickening noises that came from her. He waited until the gagging had been replaced by heavy breathing, and she leaned away from the toilet to blindly reach up and flush it. "What is going on? You've never acted this way before."

"I think I'm sick," Victoria said weakly and slid sideways until her cheek rested against the floor. "I really don't feel good."

Ratchet walked over to lay a servo on her forehead and pulled it back to find that it was wet and sticky. He looked closely at her face, observing how red her cheeks appeared while the rest of her face looked frighteningly pale—much paler than usual. She sniffed and cracked an eye open so that he could see tired grey eyes staring back at him. "Is this some sort of human ailment?"

"Yes," she answered shortly and shakily stood up. The woman's face twisted, and she looked as if she was about to lurch back down to the toilet, but she managed to turn and slowly hunch back to the bedroom. Once there, Victoria immediately burrowed back under the blankets and curled back into a pitiful ball. By now, Red Alert had climbed onto the nightstand with Swoop, and Mirage was standing on the edge of the shelf, looking down at Ratchet for some sort of confirmation. Ratchet shook his head and climbed back into the bed to find that Bluestreak had crawled up there as well and was sitting beside Victoria's head. "Well, what's happening?"

The woman wearily opened her eyes again to see Ratchet standing in front of her, looking more curious than annoyed. She nestled further into the blankets before answering. "I think I might have a stomach virus. It makes humans sick for a day or two with vomiting, cramps, and diarrhea." She sniffed. "I think my allergies are finally starting to act up too."

Ratchet nodded as he was able to follow about half of what she said from watching human health shows**,** when the rest of the mechs weren't watching those idiotic action movies. "Is there anything to make this go away, a medication or something?"

Victoria glanced up at Bluestreak, who was moving her hair out of her face. "No, I really just have to wait it out…but can you go get me an Aleve for my headache? There should be some in the top shelf of the cabinet above the microwave in the kitchen."

The medic stared at her critically before nodding and walking over to the edge of the bed. He jumped down and left the room without any further word. Swoop decided to follow him, leaving Red Alert and Bluestreak behind with the sick patient. Mirage went back to reading his magazine after realizing there was nothing for him to do.

"So, you're not poisoned?" Red Alert asked tentatively.

"No, Red Alert," Victoria said with a sigh, and she ducked under the blankets to escape the light that fueled her headache. "It's common for humans to get sick every once in a while."

Red Alert looked over at Bluestreak, who shrugged and carefully climbed off the bed to return to the bookshelf. "Bu-but who's going to keep the Decepticons in line? They almost destroyed the living room yesterday when you and Wheeljack were out of the house!"

"Just handle them like you usually do," Victoria's voice croaked from beneath the blankets. The covers shifted, and she peeked out at him with one half-opened eye. "I'll start to get better later in the day. The first few hours are always the toughest to handle."

Red Alert didn't look particularly happy, but he settled on the side of the night stand without a word. There was no way he was moving from this spot until someone else took his place. No way—with her condition that would give the Decepticons more than enough incentive to attack her and try to end her life. The SD wasn't falling for any of their tricks! Even if they disguised themselves as Autobots to sneak in or said they needed to speak to her urgently. No one could fool Red Alert!

In the kitchen, Optimus was following Ratchet around as the medic rattled off the small list of symptoms Victoria had shared with him. The CO listened intently at Ratchet's description of the current state their host was in. "How long will this last?"

"Victoria assured me it should only last a day or two," Ratchet answered. He glanced up at the cabinet that Swoop was digging in. "Any luck, Swoop?"

"Swoop no find medicine," the Dinobot shouted, but he pushed a box out of the cabinet anyway, where it landed on the edge of the counter below before slowly tilting over to land in front of the CMO. Swoop soon landed beside it as Ratchet turned it over to read the tiny words on the back. "This help?"

Ratchet scanned the box, muttering under his breath before flipping the box over once more to see a sticker across the top. "'Prescribed to Eric Anderson,' yada yada…'Take two pills with full glass of liquid at the first signs of migraine. Consult doctor if the migraine persists after six hours.'" The medic rubbed his grey chevron as he flipped the box back over again to examine the instructions on the back. "With Earth language, migraine is synonymous with headache…" He trailed off again and looked up at his medic-in-training. "Are there any more pain relievers?"

Swoop flew back up to the cabinet to investigate, leaving Optimus and Ratchet below to speak with each other. "The Decepticons took full advantage of Victoria's absence yesterday. It is only logical to believe that they will take advantage of this situation as well."

"And Victoria isn't in the position to do anything," Ratchet finished, glancing up once to watch Swoop's progress and finding the Dinobot playing with a plastic syringe that puffed air into his face when he pressed down on the plunger. "She could barely move from the bathroom to the bedroom without cringing over in pain."

Optimus looked worried by this and silently began to think as Swoop alighted beside them with the syringe. "Me Swoop find only air pump. Rest of stuff say outside use only."

"She'll just have to settle for this then," Ratchet said, opening the box and pulling out the plastic tray that held tiny blue pills in individual pockets. He popped one out and held it in his servo, the whole pill filling it, and looked up at the refrigerator. "Now we have a problem. How do you open that thing?"

"Open what?"

Ratchet looked over to see Sideswipe and his brother waltzing into the room. For once, he didn't mind their sudden appearance and pointed over at the massive kitchen appliance. "Open that up."

"Pretty demanding, aren't we?" Sideswipe said teasingly while coming to a stop in front of the medic. He placed his servos on his hips and stared back at the annoyed medic. "What's in it for us?"

"You don't become a pencil sharpener," Ratchet automatically replied, reaching out to shove the front-liner in the direction of the refrigerator. "Hurry up! Victoria's sick, and I need to get this to her before she falls back into recharge."

"Organics get sick?" Sunstreaker asked as Sideswipe climbed up onto the counter without another word. He sneered at his brother's annoying worry. "What did she do, finally give in to her mental instability?"

"This is serious, Sunstreaker," Optimus chided before Ratchet could blow a gasket at the insensitive mech. "Victoria will be bedridden for the majority of the day and possibly tomorrow. Until then, it is our duty to keep the Decepticons in line and prevent them from causing harm to our host in her weakened state."

Sunstreaker snorted and watched his brother lean over the counter to push against the edge of the refrigerator. "Those fraggers would have to be beyond stupid to mess with her even then. She tossed Megatron in that jar yesterday for shooting at her foot when she went back there to talk to them."

"Which will give Megatron even more incentive to attack her now," Optimus said, ignoring the efforts of the mech behind him. "Megatron does not take kindly to opposition."

"Woo-hoo!" Sideswipe yelled behind them, and they turned to see the Autobot hanging from the now open fridge. "I did it!" He paused to swing his legs around in the air. "Somebody help?"

Ratchet looked at Optimus, who sighed. "I will get him down, just attend to Victoria. Once that is taken care of, we will discuss how to handle the Decepticons."

The medic nodded and left with Swoop after the medic-in-training had rolled a bottle of water from the fridge. Optimus looked up at Sideswipe, who continued to dangle in the air, before turning to the yellow front-liner. "He is your brother—how do you suggest we get him down?"

Sunstreaker shrugged and yelled, "Sides, let go!"

"What?" Sideswipe yelled back even as he instinctively let go. When his brother yelled at him to do something, it was usually in the heat of battle and needed to be done quickly and without question. He managed to land without a problem by tucking in and rolling at the last second, but that didn't stop him from glaring at his twin. "What did you do that for?"

"Problem solved," Sunstreaker said to Optimus, ignoring the annoyance that fluttered from his brother's side of their bond. Optimus just sighed as the Twins headed out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom, bickering the whole way. The Prime couldn't help but wonder how he had remained sane for so long with the Autobots under his command.

**[~]**

"So we're just takin' shifts watchin' her?" Ironhide asked, glancing out of the bookshelf to where Victoria was curled up on the bed, her eyes closed in recharge after consuming the pills and water Ratchet had provided her. "Don't ya think that's a little extreme?"

"Seeing how Megsy wants her dead?" Jazz answered before Optimus had a chance to. "Doesn't seem so extreme ta me. It's just 'bout the same as what we do durin' lights out—one mech in the room at all times."

"Victoria's protection is a high priority," Optimus reiterated as he had during their first night there. "Without her, our survival here is made all the more difficult. It is also our duty to keep_our_ enemy from causing her harm."

"I had guard duty all last night," Sideswipe interrupted with a wave of his hands. "Let me patrol with Jazz or something."

Optimus nodded. "Very well, we will function in teams of two. Two teams will remain in the living room and kitchen areas; one will patrol the hallway at all times; two will be stationed upstairs; and the last will stay in here with Victoria. Until she is well again, we must keep the Decepticons as controlled as possible."

"Or lose our temporary home," Prowl added for emphasis. "Perhaps, it would be best that Ratchet take the first shift in here. That way if Victoria should require medical attention, he is close by."

Optimus nodded and said medic seemed to be in the same state of mind. "Sunstreaker will stay behind as well."

"Optimus, really," Ratchet immediately protested as Sunstreaker grunted in surprise. "Is it truly necessary that two of us stay behind? One mech is more than efficient to look after Victoria."

The Prime shook his head. "In case of an attack, it is best that one of us have immediate backup. This was also suggested by Red Alert after the…confrontation between certain mechs yesterday." Optimus paused to glance at Bluestreak, who seemed oblivious to the look as he helped Wheeljack pull off a stray piece of tape that had somehow found its way onto the engineer's back.

Ratchet sighed and turned to Sunstreaker, who looked just as joyful as the medic. "Do not annoy me. I'm already not in the mood to deal with you or your brother's shenanigans."

Sunstreaker just glared as his brother snickered and left the room with Jazz. The other mechs filed out in twos until the only ones left were Ratchet and Sunstreaker. Ratchet sighed and climbed down the shelf to enter the bottom one, which had been designated as the "med-shelf." There, he dragged a short, thick book over to one of the "gurneys"—another book turned over on its side to allow an Autobot to lie on it—and sat down to open it. He glanced up as Sunstreaker climbed down and dismissed him with a grunt. "Until our shift is over or something dire happens, leave me in peace. I've actually been using you and your brother's distractions as a time to research the humans' anatomy. It's actually quite a wonder to imagine that maybe one day, after we get back home, we may find this planet again…"

Sunstreaker yawned as Ratchet trailed off. "Yeah, yeah just what I want—to discover more squishies. I hope we never crash land on this organic monstrosity again."

The medic just shook his head and turned his attention to the book, which described many medicines that the humans had created and their uses. It amazed him how many different kinds there were, some of them even working to cure the same ailments! Yet some humans could not consume certain medications because of "allergic reactions" that would be triggered, or the medication would sometimes cause a human to act in a way they normally wouldn't. It was very fascinating…

Sunstreaker left the older mech to read in peace in favor of climbing up onto the bed. Sunstreaker wasn't often left on guard duty because he was able to manipulate his way out of it. But on the rare times he had been forced to do it, Sunstreaker preferred to pass the time laid up on the bed because the pillows Victoria used were much more preferable to the books that made decent sized berths. He flopped onto the pillow that Victoria wasn't using and stared up at the ceiling.

And that was what he did for the next two joors. While Ratchet pursued his book, Sunstreaker did nothing but laze around, and he planned on doing just that for however longer they were on guard duty when Victoria's eyes fluttered open to stare straight at him. At first, he didn't notice as he was intent on trying to count exactly how many boards made up the ceiling above them. It wasn't until she moved that he realized she was awake. "Ratchet says you're sick."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," she weakly snapped back and rolled over onto her back, shoving some of the blankets away. "Without you I would have never known why my stomach feels like it's eating itself."

Sunstreaker didn't smile, but he felt a sliver of relief when Victoria had snapped back at him, like she usually did when she wasn't in the mood to deal with him. That meant that she wasn't as deadly sick as the others made it seem like. "Well, you also look like slag."

Victoria looked over at him, and Sunstreaker noticed a slightly cloudy glaze that covered her eyes. "I don't get why Eric liked you more than Sideswipe."

Sunstreaker blinked. Who the slag was Eric? But she continued before he could speak. "Maybe because you're supposed to be an artist like him. Or your color. Eric always preferred bright colors…"

Victoria rolled over onto her other side and fell back asleep before Sunstreaker could say anything. He just stared at her back with a frown. Was Eric the human who had done the drawings upstairs? That would make Eric her brother, right? Well, where the slag was that no good brother when his sister needed him? He wasn't a hundred percent sure how relationships among humans worked, but he knew that despite all the trouble Sideswipe had a knack for getting them into because of all his pranks, Sunstreaker would still try to be with his brother when he was really needed.

Sunstreaker was just about to jump on her to wake her back up and demand answers, when Ratchet's helm appeared over the edge of the bed, and the medic pulled himself up to observe the sleeping woman. He went about doing his medic duty as Sunstreaker turned away. He would get her to talk later.

"That medication must have made her drowsier than I thought it would," Ratchet commented out loud after peeling her eyelid up to have a look. "I suppose that may be a good thing, with all the pain she seemed to be in before falling into recharge." He glanced down at Sunstreaker, who sat cross-legged with his back to them and his arms crossed over his chest. "Come on, Sunstreaker. Optimus and Prowl have come to take our place, which means we're going to the living room."

Sunstreaker snorted and jumped off the bed to run out of the room without acknowledging the two officers heading to the bookshelf after stopping for a short briefing with Ratchet. There was more stuff to do in the living room, stuff that would save Sunstreaker from feeling like he was about to offline from boredom.

**[~]**

Skywarp flew down the hallway, ignoring the two Autobots walking below him, and took the sharp turn that would send him upstairs. Victoria had been a little angry at the Decepticons the day before, and Megatron shooting at her in defiance didn't help (though it _was_ funny as pit to see the bucket-head be thrown into the jar). But she had helped him reattach his arm after that little runt had pulled it off and played keep away for the whole day. That meant that her hostility towards him was slowly diminishing, which meant that Skywarp was slowly climbing out of the hole he had inadvertently dug himself into.

Really, how was he supposed to know that the maneuvers that impressed Seeker femmes wouldn't work on organic ones? He thought he had been doing pretty well too! At least TC had said he had been. And all he wanted to do was impress the femme that had stolen his spark the day she had stood up to Megatron. There were _mechs_ that wouldn't even do that, which was what had caught his attention to begin with. Not to mention she was smart, and pretty, and strong…what had he been doing?

Oh, yeah! Searching for Victoria. See, Skywarp had figured out the day he found Victoria talking and laughing with the Auto-scum that if he acted more Autobot-like, Victoria would pay more positive attention to him. Once she had seen how great and handsome he was, he would show her how even greater he was when was acting like a proper Decepticon. She would finally realize how foolish she had been, believing that the Autobots were the greatest thing since Diet Energon (he still didn't get why that was so popular back on Cybertron with the femmes). Yep, Skywarp had it all planned out…

Skywarp transformed mid-air to land flawlessly in the doorway of the room that Victoria had been in for a while, only to frown when he realized his current obsession wasn't there. Puzzled, he turned to look up and down the hallway of the second floor, finally realizing that there was nothing in the hallway. Strange, since by this time Victoria would have pushed at least three boxes into the hallway, where they would then be taken down to sit on the porch to magically vanish at the end of a third of a deca-cycle.

Skywarp glared at the opposite wall while crossing his arms over his cockpit. Well, how was he supposed to show how great he was if Victoria wasn't around to show-off to?

The sound of a voice flowed up the stairs, and Skywarp took a step back into the room to avoid being seen. As the voice got closer, the jet scowled. It was that annoying Praxian who talked all the time—Blue-something-or-other. Or was it Streaker-something? Either way, it was the one mech that Skywarp had come to hate over the past few solar cycles; the one that always clung to _his_ Victoria. He wondered if he would get in trouble if the little brat took a sudden tumble down the stairs.

"—know that Ratchet said not to worry, but I can't help it! Victoria has been perfectly fine the whole time we've been here, and then suddenly she's too sick to even get out of bed?" Skywarp perked up at the name and leaned further out of the door to see the blue spy helping the Praxian up the step. "How do you even think she got sick? Did she get into something when she and Wheeljack were in town yesterday? But wouldn't she have started feeling unwell last night? What if it's something more serious? Ah, jeez, Wheeljack mentioned something about her eating 'fast food' before they got came back. What if—"

The blue spy, Vanish was what Skywarp thought his name was (after all, that's what he did), clapped a hand over the talkative 'bot's mouth. "Bluestreak, you are working yourself into a worry. Just relax. Victoria told Ratchet herself that it was nothing to worry about, and it would only last for a solar cycle or two."

Bluestreak was frowning when the hand was removed. "I guess you're right. Sorry if I was annoying you, Mirage. I just can't help it. Humans are so different from us—they get hurt easier, they're not as well equipped as we are, they get sick without reason, they _die_ from things that a Cybertronian would survive. I haven't known her for long, but I don't want anything bad to happen to Victoria."

Skywarp almost snorted out loud at the pout that the grey mech had on his face. But Mirage was patting his younger comrade on the shoulder in an awkwardly comforting way. "None of us do. But you are worrying far too much about this, Bluestreak. Victoria will be fine by tomorrow."

They walked past the door he hid behind, Bluestreak already going off on another subject and the high class Autobot politely listening to him. Skywarp peeked back out after they had passed. So that was why Victoria wasn't in her normal place—she had downloaded a virus…and what was the most perfect way for Skywarp to show her how loving he was but to go and check up on her?

Decision made, Skywarp activated his warp generator to warp back to base. Before he went to check on his organic, he had to make sure that the other Decepticons were aware of the situation.

**[~]**

Prowl tried not to flinch at the gagging sounds coming from the young woman beside him. Optimus stood closer, not appearing to be affected by the noise or how the human violently shook each time she emitted the sound as he attempted to give her some comfort by rubbing the back of her calf. The noise finally stopped, leaving her gasping for breath, and Optimus moved aside to allow her to slump down to the floor. "I hate being sick."

Optimus patted her head as Prowl finally ventured closer, his door-wings perked up as he was ready to retreat if she were to jump up as quickly as she did before she had run into the bathroom. "Is the medicine that Swoop found for you not working?"

"Oh no, it's working," Victoria confessed as she nuzzled into the fuzzy bath rug under her head. "My headache is completely gone, and now my stomach is feeling a little better."

"Good," the Prime said, still patting her head. "Human sickness does not look like a fun thing to experience."

"It's not," she answered him with a weak laugh. Surely, that was a sign that the ailment was improving. Prowl reached up to the ringed knobs of the cabinet to grasp the cloth that Victoria had placed there for easy access and dragged it to her. She accepted it with a small sound of gratitude and wiped off her face before lightly flinging it on top of him. He huffed even as Optimus lightly chuckled. "I hate that you're having to watch over me. It's actually a little embarrassing."

"It is no problem," the leader assured her. "Right now, your health is our top priority."

Victoria stared at him with half-lidded eyes before closing them and exhaling loudly through her nose. "I feel really bad for avoiding you now."

Optimus looked over at Prowl, who was just flicking the rag off of him, in confusion but received nothing but a slight shrug in return. "What do you mean?"

"I've been avoiding you whenever I could," Victoria muttered again, glancing up with unfocused eyes before quickly shutting them again. "You were Eric's favorite one. He would take you everywhere. He even took you to school once and came home crying because his teacher had taken you away and he couldn't get you back until my mom went to talk with the teacher." She hummed randomly. "He even played with you after he had put the others on a shelf to collect dust. No matter how many times my dad told him you weren't real, he still claimed that you were his biggest hero." She looked back up at the mildly shocked Prime. "You remind me too much of my brother."

Optimus was still too shocked to speak as she turned to Prowl and squinted at him. "You remind me of myself." Prowl opened his mouth– "I hate you." –and slammed it back shut with a glare. "That's why I make you crash so much. I used to be a Wheeljack, curious and wanting to investigate everything. And then I turned into a Prowl—dependent on logic and following the paths that made the most sense instead of following my gut." Her giggling made them stare at her with worry, temporarily forgetting the odd discussion she had just basically had with herself. "I wonder what would have happened if I stayed a Wheeljack."

Prowl glanced at Optimus and received the same confusion before looking back at Victoria, who was picking at the rug under her. "Victoria, what did Ratchet give you to ease your pain?"

"Mmm, I don't know." Victoria hummed and stood up. She wobbled and had to hold the counter until she stopped swaying. "But I feel a lot better!" She giggled again and staggered all the way back to the bedroom, stopping only once to gaily wave at Jazz and Sideswipe.

Jazz tilted his helm questioningly as they passed him and Sideswipe to follow their…was she even sick anymore? Prowl shook his head—a "don't ask" shake—and Optimus just sighed. "I believe we may be seeing a different side of Victoria for the rest of the day."

The pair traded a look as the three vanished into the bedroom, and the door was almost closed shut to keep the majority of the noise from the hallway out but allow the tiny mechs to slip into the room. Jazz finally shrugged and started strolling back down the hallway, Sideswipe following him soon after.

The two Autobots were the only mechs around when a loud ringing sound started at the end of the hallway. At first, they thought it was a Decepticon attack, something they had been prepared for and honestly anticipating. But when the ringing continued, they finally fell out of their offensive positions to look for the new sound. Jazz was the first to spot it as the flashing light on top of the small, easily forgettable stand that sat between the bedroom and stairway. Without a word, Jazz climbed his way up the smooth legs, jumping from one leg to the other to gain height until he was able to grasp the underside of the platform on top and flip over to land on the other side.

"How the– I still don't get how you do that!" Sideswipe said in awe over the continued ringing of the device.

Jazz took the time to grin down at the twin. "Takes practice." He looked back over at the electronic and sauntered over to examine it as it continued to ring. "Now, what's this? Have ya seen Vicky using this thing?"

From below Sideswipe shook his head and turned away to keep an optic on their surroundings. The ringing was close enough to the utility room to gain unwanted attention. "But the communicator she carries around all the time makes the same noise."

The saboteur walked around the base of the phone, taking in the buttons on the base and the ones on the long rectangular object it held vertical to the base. The ringing suddenly stopped, making him automatically tense, before a voice came from the base's speaker.

"Hey! You've reached the home of Eric the awesome. Since your message is important enough to wait through all that ringing, I guess you should leave it after the—" The person's words were cut off by a sudden beep that made Jazz chuckle. He wondered how long it had taken Victoria's brother to perfect that message.

There was the sound of a similar chuckle that came through the speaker and a new voice said, "I'll tell you what, I never thought I'd hear that boy's voice again."

"Hey," Sideswipe said from down below while turning to look up at Jazz. "That guy sounds like Ironhide!"

Jazz shushed him as the man on the other end sighed, filling the speaker with static_. _"I didn't know if the phone still worked or not, but Eric's lawyer attached a note with the number, and it said that you would be stayin' at the cabin for a while." There was pause, and Jazz's sharp hearing picked up what sounded like a femme and a youngling talking to each other in the background. "I didn't–"

There was another pause. "The letter didn't come in the mail 'til today. And– jeez, I 'm sorry you've been up there all alone. But I was callin' to tell ya that I'm leavin' tonight, and I should be there 'round noon tomorrow. And you're phone aint workin'. I tried callin' it a few times but it kept goin' directly to voicemail. I thought you were ignorin' me, but Ariel was just sayin' there might not be much signal up there."

Jazz tilted his head as the man paused once more. The mech assumed that the speaker must not have been used to one-sided conversations like this. "I'm on the verge of babblin', so I'll just…let ya go now. But I lo—" The message cut off with a long beep before he could finish, and a red light on the base brightly lit up.

Jazz thought it would be best to leave the phone alone and shimmied down to the floor to stand beside Sideswipe. The front-liner stared at him, silently asking what they were going to do next. "Vicky'll get the message when she starts feelin' better." Jazz glanced at the door where he knew Optimus, Prowl, and Victoria were. "Ah don't think it's too big o' an emergency ta be botherin' her."

Sideswipe nodded and looked at the door as well. "So, have you figured out where this Eric guy is?"

Jazz starred at him with a grave glint in his optic band. "Why would Ah know?"

"Don't play stupid with me," Sideswipe said with a vaguely offended tone. "It's obvious that you've been snooping around. You don't think _someone_ would notice when you vanished for joors on end? And it's obvious that you're off doing something that you don't want Vicky to know because your disappearances _always_ happen when she's busy upstairs, and you show back up as soon as she's done."

Jazz stared at the red and black mech with a subtle air of approval. He hadn't thought the prankster was observant enough to notice his disappearances, let alone correctly deduce that they corresponded with the times that their host would be busy. He had to hide his surprise and approval with a grin. "Even if Ah _do_ know, that would be somethin' fo' Victoria ta explain when she finally wants to. 'Til then, try ta keep it on da down low, 'kay?"

Jazz began to walk away before Sideswipe could respond, and the front-liner ran to catch up with him. Neither mentioned the call again and eventually traded posts with Bluestreak and Mirage as Wheeljack and Swoop took on watcher duty.

**[~]**

Skywarp growled in annoyance. That lying little Praxian brat! Victoria wasn't in her room bedridden with some foul virus. And after all he had done to make sure his fellow Decepticons had the Autobots' attention so that he could sneak into their base. He still didn't think it was fair that they got to room with her.

He currently stood in front of her bedroom, ignoring the sounds of the gun fight coming from the living room area. Now what was he supposed to do? The Decepticon in him urged him to join the battle and smite the self-righteous Autobots, but the niggling voice in the back of his processor told him that Victoria would be disappointed to know that he had participated. Wait, was he developing a…_conscience?_ He hoped not!

_:Skywarp!:_ Starscream screamed in his audial, and he actually yelled in surprise. _:Where are you?:_

_:I am, uh…:_ He glanced around in search of a good excuse. _:Currently…attempting to infiltrate the Autobots' base!:_

A feeling of surprise spread through the bond he held with his trine brothers. _:Really? Well, what is your status?:_

_:It's highly booby-trapped,: _he answered immediately and with enough annoyance tingeing their bond to make it believable. _:They've got human…stuff protecting it.:_

Starscream cursed, completely believing him. _:Well_,_ do what you can. I'll inform Megatron so that we can keep these pests busy. Starscream out.:_ Their link was severed, and Skywarp could fell Starscream mentally closing off their bond. He grinned. Well that was a lot easier than he thought it would be. Wow, faking around Victoria was making him a real pro. Maybe he could make Megatron believe-

The thought was abruptly lost as the black and purple Seeker turned to see his other trine mate standing behind him. He would never admit to openly shrieking or jumping backwards. No, that never happened, and no one could prove otherwise!

Thundercracker sighed and stared at him. "What are you doing?"

Skywarp looked down the hallway where flashes of light from traded gunfire could be seen. "I'm heading to the fight."

His smile fell as Thundercracker put his servos on his hips, and his blue wings stretched out to make him look bigger and more authoritative. "I thought you just told Starscream you were infiltrating the Autobots' base."

Slag, that sneaky Starscream! He had kept Skywarp distracted long enough for TC to sneak up on him, which meant he had never believed Skywarp at all. Double slag!

Thundercracker sighed again as he felt Skywarp's panic and lowered his wings a fraction. "Skywarp, you have _got_ to watch what you're doing. If Megatron found out that you were currently trying to pursue an organic, let alone _Victoria_, he wouldn't hesitate to extinguish your spark as punishment for what he would perceive as your disloyalty."

"Just tell him I'm undercover or something!" Skywarp whined.

Thundercracker shook his head. "Starscream and I can't keep making excuses for you, 'Warp. Megatron is already getting suspicious of the way you're behaving." He paused at the desperate feeling he felt from his trine mate and rubbed the side of his helm to relieve the processor ache that was beginning to develop. "Look, we can keep the undercover thing going if you bring back intel for Megatron. And it has to be important! Like, how Victoria keeps some of the doors closed without electronic locks or information like you gave him today. Make him believe that your acting is actually _acting._"

Skywarp straightened at that. "I am acting." Thundercracker gave him a disbelieving look. "What? You think I'm turning into an _Autobot?_ TC, I'm just pretending so that Victoria gives me attention. When she's fallen in love with me, I'll show her my true self and how much better it is than being a puny Autobot."

Thundercracker was still giving him a look of disbelief, so he sighed. "That little fragging dirt kisser took my _arm_. Why would I side with that groundpounder after that?"

The blue jet just shook his head and rubbed the vents on the side of his helm in frustration. "Just– if you want to continue pursuing Victoria, give Megatron a reason not to offline you. It may not seem like it, but me and Starscream…we need you to stay alive."

Skywarp nodded and reinforced the understanding through their bond. **~Don't worry TC. It's me we're talking about!~**

"_That's what I'm worried about," _Thundercracker thought as he transformed and headed to the battle, leaving Skywarp behind to do only Primus knew what. Skywarp never thought of what he did before doing it, and that was going to get the Seeker taken offline one day.

**[~]**

"What do you mean, she's gone?" Ratchet yelled at Ironhide as they ducked behind a cabinet door. Beyond the door Red Alert and Bluestreak were firing at the two Seekers that flew above them while Sunstreaker was taking Bonecrusher head on, acting just as manically as always when in the heat of battle. Mirage should have made it to the living room by now and should be finding a way to temporarily distract the Decepticons. But until then, the Autobots were currently stuck in the kitchen.

Ironhide had just received a message from Jazz that Victoria was no longer in her room, and looking at the raging medic, the red mech understood why Jazz didn't directly contact him. "I'm just relayin' what I heard. Jazz says she aint there."

Ratchet resisted the urge to bang his helm against the wall and instead took his anger out on Barricade, who had been the Decepticon firing at them. Ratchet's shot hit him right in the shoulder joint, disconnecting the poorly reattached limb and sending the scout into a tizzy. Ironhide could only stare. Maybe they should engage the Decepticons when Ratchet was angry more often…

"How could she just vanish?" Ratchet was saying, perhaps not even fully realizing what he had just done. He rubbed his chevron in thought. "She could barely move this morning, and she couldn't even walk in a straight line three breems ago! How could she have–" Ratchet stopped suddenly, turning to glare out of the kitchen. _"Wheeljack."_

Ironhide turned his attention away from the medic and to the sudden lack of gunfire. He peeked out to see Red Alert and Bluestreak staring into the living room with surprise, and Sunstreaker laughing over the offlined body of Bonecrusher. Red Alert noticed his staring and pointed into the living room. What the Weapons Specialist saw made him want to laugh as much as Sunstreaker was.

The Cassettes and Megatron were currently running for their lives as a remote controlled Hummer bore down on them. Starscream had stopped to hover over the sight and laugh while Thundercracker collected the small pieces that had been shot off his person. Soundwave was bent over looking under the couch and beckoning something beneath it to come outas Laserbeak huddled up on his shoulder, keeping a watchful optic on the toy chasing her brothers.

But the funniest thing wasn't the Decepticons' current positions. No, the best part was Wheeljack, who was riding on the top of the Hummer. "Fear the almighty Wheeljack and his trusty steed, H2!"

There was insane giggling, and Victoria wobbled into the open with a controller in her hand and leaned up against the wall to stay up. She sent the Hummer after Megatron now that the Cassettes were safely hidden within a surprised Soundwave. "What's wrong, Megsy? I thought you were all that and a bag of chips!" She giggled at her slurred joke and almost fell over when she didn't realize she was sliding down the wall.

With everyone distracted by the high organic, Swoop flew across the battlefield without a problem to land beside a gaping Ironhide and flummoxed Ratchet. "Me Swoop recommend no more little blue pills."

"As Chief Medical Officer, I fully stand behind your recommendation," Ratchet said, and Swoop nodded as if he had never expected opposition. The CMO watched Wheeljack and Victoria's manic Hummer chase a now angrily yelling Megatron. "I just don't understand how a little pill could make her so, so…over-energized."

Victoria giggled and slipped down the rest of the wall to lay on the floor on her stomach, the controller in front of her face as she used the tip of her fingers to guide the vehicle. By now, Megatron had climbed up a chair in the kitchen and was snarling down at the Autobot sitting on the roof of the toy. "Cease this foolishness and fight like a real 'bot!"

"Since when do 'real 'bots' deal cheap shots?" Wheeljack taunted back, remembering all the times that Megatron had won a fight because of his dirty tactics. He almost flew off the car when it sharply turned to the right. "Whoa! Rein it in, Vicky!" Wheeljack whipped back into place once the Hummer was traveling in a straight line and found Ratchet in control of the car while Victoria laid on her back, waving a finger at the ceiling as if she was drawing picture. "Uh oh, time to abandon ship."

"Oh no, you don't," Ratchet growled and sent the Hummer into the closest wall. Wheeljack flew forward and smashed directly into the wall before tumbling off the side of the hood. "What have I told you about taking my patients?"

"In my defense," Wheeljack said, his speech slightly slurred as he tried to stand up after the sudden head bash, "Victoria is the one who wanted to make the cleaning drone, and we got sidetracked when she found the car in a box on the top shelf of the closet."

Ratchet just growled again and moved the Hummer back so that when he went after Wheeljack it wouldn't slam in the wall again. Meanwhile, Starscream and Thundercracker had landed on the back of the couch, the former still laughing and the latter looking down at the deranged human with wonder. Soundwave had retrieved Ravage from under the couch and was waiting patiently for Megatron to jump off the chair so that they could retreat back to the utility room with what little dignity they had left, and Barricade was already half way down the hallway, begrudgingly dragging a twitching Bonecrusher behind him.

With the Decepticons slowly retreating, Bluestreak had ran over to stand over Victoria and was joined by the others as Ratchet began to enjoy chasing Wheeljack around the kitchen with the toy car a little too much. "Victoria, what's wrong? I thought you were sick. I mean, you looked so terrible this morning that I was worrying all day that it might be something more serious than just a common human ailment, and now you're…giggling at the ceiling…"

Victoria's head whipped sideways, and Bluestreak could see her grey eyes looking back at him with slightly loopy look in them. "Oh, hey, Blue! You should have come with me and 'Jackie and my little birdie. We made a robot that cleans stuff when you use a wireless controller to tell it too. It only caught on fire once! Ya wanna know how we did it? Ya see, 'Jack took a thingy from a toy car and-"

Bluestreak turned away as Victoria continued to enthusiastically recall how she, Wheeljack, and Swoop created some sort of dumbed down version of a cleaning drone, often giving strange names to the materials they used to build it, constantly referring to Swoop as her "little birdie," and only cutting herself off once to giggle insanely. He walked over to the assembled Autobots, joined by Optimus, Prowl, Jazz, and Sideswipe, who had all come from upstairs to help, and wiggled his way through the mechs until he was able to grab a hold of Ratchet's arm. "_Please_, tell me she's gonna be back to normal by tomorrow."

Ratchet abandoned his new game, much to the relief of Wheeljack, and turned around to look at his oversized patient, who was turned to the wall and speaking to it. "As long as we do not give her any more of those pills, she should be fine. I have been reading up on human remedies, and it turns out that some humans have a small tolerance to certain chemicals that comprise their medicines. I'm assuming there was such a chemical in the pills I allowed her to take…and she took two of them, so the side effects have basically been doubled. As far as I know, this has nothing to do with the illness she has contracted."

Just as he finished, Victoria shot off the floor and made a mad dash to the kitchen sink. Any mech who had not witnessed her earlier vomiting episodes cringed at the sounds she made and cringed even further from the sounds of whatever she ejected hit the sink. Ratchet sighed, in medic-mode and completely unaffected by sounds. "That, however, seems to be a common symptom."

"That is gross," Sunstreaker groaned and covered his audio receptors. "Make it stop!"

"She's not ejecting something humans need, is she?" Red Alert said with panicked disgust.

"No wonder the girl's been laid up in bed all day!" Ironhide said, hiding his disgust behind his war experienced persona. "I'd be too if my Energon was coming out the wrong way."

Mirage turned away from the sight in an attempt to give her some sort of privacy as opposed to Jazz, who stood next to him staring at her shaking back with horrified awe, and to which Mirage roughly turned him away when he realized the saboteur's open staring. Optimus and Ratchet hurried over to her side as she collapsed onto the floor, her shoulders still shaking even though the gagging sounds had diminished. When they reached her side, the two mechs found her spilling a clear liquid from her eyes as she sniffled and shook.

"Let's get you back to bed," Ratchet said in an uncharacteristically gentle voice, taking her finger to just as gently pull her towards the bedroom. "Whatever chemical was messing with your normal brain function is obviously beginning to wear off."

"I hate being sick," Victoria said pathetically, but she did as Ratchet said and wobbled to her feet to follow him. She ignored the other Autobots as they moved out of her way and followed behind them. "When I was little, Eric would have puppet shows with you guys to help me feel better. I never had the heart to tell him that by making me laugh it hurt my stomach even more."

They made it to the bedroom without incident, and Victoria immediately huddled under the blankets and was joined by Bluestreak and Swoop while the others retreated to base to discuss Megatron's latest attack. She slept through their meeting and didn't even stir when they left the room once more, leaving Swoop behind to watch over her.

**[~]**

Skywarp peeked through the door and immediately frowned. He thought he had seen all of the Autobots leave the room, but the dumb Dinobot remained behind, and he was sitting right next to Victoria's head, playing with her hair as she slept. He leaned back out the door and frowned at the wall in front of him. Now how was he going to get in there to see Victoria? With the fight that had taken place not too long ago, not even the dumbest Autobot would let him near her. Although…

Skywarp peeked back in to see that Swoop was nowhere in sight. With a smile at his good luck, the Seeker nudged the door open and sneaked further in. If he was able to catch the flyer off guard, then he could-

"What you Skywarp doing?"

The Decepticon slapped a servo over his mouth to keep the sudden shriek in and slowly turned to glare at the Dinobot peeking out from behind a book that had been placed in front of the bottom shelf to act as some sort of shield against an attack. He clenched his denta to keep in the now annoyed yell. "Look, I just wanna see if she's alright, okay? I've been trying all cycle, and you're not going to stop me!"

Swoop stepped further out from behind the book and looked at him with serious blue optics. "No wake her Victoria. Still sick. Now go."

Skywarp blinked at the Autobot's blunt dismissal. "Listen here-"

If Skywarp hadn't known for a fact that only he possessed a warp generator, he would have sworn that the Dinobot had managed to get a hold of one as he quickly crossed the distance between them to poke at Skywarp's orange cockpit. "No, you listen to me Swoop. Her Victoria sick—need rest! No get if dumb Decepticon messing with her. Now go!"

Skywarp took a surprised step back at the hostility that was radiating from Swoop. This was the idiot he played those human games with? He seemed like a completely different 'bot as he stood before the Seeker—tall, authoritative, and with a glint in his optics that said he meant business. From the looks of it, he wasn't going to back down for any sort of reason that the jet gave him. So Skywarp resorted to the last thing knew—deceit.

"Please, Swoop," he started with a slightly begging tone that noticeably threw off the Dinobot. "I just wanna make sure that she's okay. I overheard the bra– Bluestreak saying how sick she was earlier. And when she wasn't in her usual place, I got really worried and have been trying to get in here to see her all day. Just give me…half a breem! I'll be quiet, and I won't disturb her at all. Just, please…"

Skywarp held in the urge to gag as the medic-in-training fell for his trick—hook, line, and sinker. Primus_,_ these Autobots were so _pathetic! _There was no way Victoria could deny how much greater he is as a Decepticon when he finally gains her full favor.

Swoop glanced over his shoulder at the bed and then out into the hallway. "…me Swoop give you exactly half a breem. No longer, and if she Victoria wake up…you'll be leaving with missing parts."

Skywarp actually shuddered at the last, grammatically correct threat as Swoop retreated to perch himself on top of the bookshelf in his alt-mode, constantly keeping an optic on the jet as he slowly walked towards the bed. The Seeker climbed up the bed and stood in front of the sleeping face of the organic, taking in her pale and peaceful face. His spark stuttered with the strange feeling he had been feeling more and more often around her, and he crouched down to gently flick a strand of hair out of her face.

Skywarp spent the first half of his time walking around the bed, making sure that Victoria was properly settled in before checking the bottle of water and plate of crackers sitting on the nightstand. He didn't understand the water part, but he knew that the food was there to provide her energy, and there was enough to fully charge her up and even more for later. Then again, humans had to consume more than the Cybertronians…

The Seeker paused in his investigation when a glint caught his optic. Walking to the edge of the stand, he glanced down to see the drawer below him opened a sliver, and from the bottom of the drawer he could see a weird shaped metallic object glinting up at him. Intrigued, he knelt down to get a closer look and flinched back in surprise when a Dinobot abruptly landed in front of him. "Decepticon, time up. Leave."

Skywarp scowled at the mech before slightly tilting to catch another glimpse of what had caught his optic. "What's that?"

Swoop turned around to see him pointing down at the drawer and looked back up at the Decepticon suspiciously. "It human key. She Victoria use all the time. Now, leave."

The Seeker continued to frown at the Dinobot's insistence before finally giving in and doing as he was told, no matter how loathsome he was to do it. Besides,Skywarp had come to do what he had wanted to. The next day he would be able to tell Victoria how he had braved his hateful enemies just to make sure she was alright…and as an added bonus, he had just the intel needed to keep old Megsy from bugging him.

**[~]**

"Hey, Victoria. I was just callin' to let ya know that I'm stoppin' off for the night somewhere around Memphis and will definitely-"

The message was cut off as the mechanical voice interrupted it with the statement, "Message deleted. You have no new messages."

The tiny mech jumped off the table and began to walk back towards the room where the others were at, waiting out the night. He paused at the bedroom door and turned around, the bright blue of his optic band illuminating the grin he gave the dark colored mech that was peeking out of the door further down the hallway. The shorter of the two gave his adversary a mocking salute before retreating into the bedroom, leaving Soundwave behind to try and figure out the rest of the message from Victoria's mysterious caller.

The frag if Jazz was going to leave behind valuable information for the Decepticons to somehow use against their host.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>_Autobot-Bre_: I told you I was writing a chapter with your suggestion ;) And technically I wrote this chapter _before_ the last one.

I don't have much else to say but that the poll mentioned at the end of the last chapter is still up, and will probably remain up until I complete this story. So if you haven't already, swing by my profile and vote for which story I should start on next.

Until next Saturday :)

**EDITED: 1/28/2014 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	12. Hard Road to Acceptance

**AN: **_Beowulf828 _was again kind enough to read this chapter ahead of time. There's a little more language than usual in this chapter, not much more, but I still feel the need to add a little warning since some people actually get offended by that stuff…I for one am not one of those people but still—they exist!

_Breem: ~8.3 minutes  
>Joor: ~1 hour<br>Orn: 13 days  
>Nano-klick (klick): ~1 second<em>

"_Thinking."  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Eleven

Hard Road to Acceptance

* * *

><p><strong>Day 13<strong>

Victoria had never been waited on before. The closest she had ever come to such a thing was when she was a kid, but that really didn't count. After all, when you're four or five you can't do certain things on your own. Because of her inexperience, all she could was blink up at the ceiling as she heard some rummaging in the kitchen and Bluestreak muttering to whoever was in there helping him.

"That's it," Victoria mumbled as the rummaging turned into the loud crash of a metal bowl hitting the floor and a yelp that sounded like a certain paranoid guest. She sat up from the spot on the couch where she had been laying, disturbing Rumble and Frenzy, who both grumbled and slid off her legs. "I am perfectly capable of fixing myself lunch."

A tiny wrench connected with her forehead after the woman had managed to twist around and place her feet on the ground. Ratchet looked unfazed as she cursed and rubbed the irritated spot. "You couldn't even get out of bed yesterday, and now you're trying to convince me that you're fine? I'm not buying it. I let you come into the living room, but don't push me."

"Ratchet, I'm fine!" Victoria insisted even as she settled back on the couch to avoid another miniature projectile. She shot a glare at Frenzy as he let out a rude sound. "I told you a stomach virus only lasts a day or two. And even if I'm not one hundred percent recovered, I can fix myself something to eat!"

"You want to know what happened the last time one of my patients talked back?" Ratchet asked, ignoring the snickers coming from the Cassette twins. "I'm positive Wheeljack will tell you exactly why he couldn't walk straight for a week." He glared as the Cassettes' snickers became too loud to ignore. "Get your processors out of the gutter!"

The Decepticons calmed down and went back to watching the movie while Victoria groaned as another yelp came from the kitchen, this time from Bluestreak. "Ratchet, I. Am. Fine!" She leaned further into the couch as Ratchet cocked back a second wrench. She finally sighed in defeat and focused on the TV with a frown. "What are you two even watching? A bad horror flick? The blood looks like cranberry juice."

"We're in the middle of very important reconnaissance!" Rumble insisted while Frenzy stared at the actor on TV having his arm ripped off. "We were ordered by Megatron _himself."_

Victoria blankly stared at the screen, and even Ratchet stopped long enough to tilt his helm at the horrible graphics. "Yeah well, you could have at least found a better movie." She picked up the controller, ignoring the loud protests, and flipped through the channels before finding a desirable one. "There, now you can discover how magical friendship is. The Decepticons desperately need this lesson."

"My optics, they burn!" Frenzy cried, covering his optic band with both servos. Rumble just gawked at the screen as if the colorful ponies were more horrible than watching their previous movie. "Change it, change it! I'll tell ya whatever ya want—I swear!"

Ratchet chuckled as Victoria merely rolled her eyes at the twins exaggerated actions. "Here, but find something better to watch. If I'm confined to this couch for the day, I want to at least watch better blood effects and not a bunch of juice being thrown everywhere."

"Carnage!" both twins yelled in demented joy as they regained the device and started the difficult search of finding just the right amount of bloodshed. Unfortunately, they got sidetracked by the only other human activity that seemed to interest them. "I still don't get what they're doing."

"Maybe they're trying to kill each other. The femme sounds like she's in pain."

The young woman beside them slapped a hand over her eyes and blindly snatched the controller away from them. "What is with you mechs and sex? Even the Autobots are fascinated by it!"

"Well if you were to explain the reasons behind the actions, they wouldn't be as curious," Ratchet said with a tone that suggested experience. "It worked for Jazz. The moment he overheard it was how organics reproduced, he immediately stopped watching it."

"What?"

"Ew!"

"I rest my case," the medic finished as Rumble and Frenzy clawed at their helms or rubbed their optic bands, complaining how they could never wipe the sight from their processors now. "Once they know what it is, they'll stop watching it to try and figure it out on their own."

"Yeah right," Victoria said, handing the controller back once she had been assured that the young mechs would never again watch those scenes. "Wheeljack will still watch it for curiosity's sake."

"Yes, well, Wheeljack is weird, and it's about time we just accept that."

The human slightly giggled and propped her feet on the table beside the medic. He frowned at the gesture, the medic in him saying it was just unsanitary to have any form of pedes sitting on a table, before returning to the computer Victoria had allowed him to borrow. She had set it up after noticing him reading the outdated medicine handbook that her brother must have found at a garage sale or some thrift bookstore. Either way, it was outdated by about thirty years, and she figured it would be better for Ratchet to learn _updated_ medicine rather than rely on the old book.

There was a scuffle from behind the couch in the direction of the kitchen followed by a short burst of Jazz's laughter and protest from Red Alert. Then there was light scraping against the ceramic tiles in the kitchen before it vanished as it entered the carpeted living room. Skywarp flew over the back of the couch to tumble-land into Victoria's lap. "I just want to tell you ahead of time, that I made all of it…unless you hate it; then I had no part in it."

"You didn't have any part in it at all!" Bluestreak argued as he appeared around the edge of the couch, dragging a plastic plate behind him. Jazz appeared a second later and looked as if he was surreptitiously helping the younger mech carry the plate. "All you did was hover around Red Alert and make him twitch; me and Jazz did _all_ of the work."

"That's really sweet of you guys," Victoria started, figuring she would go ahead and get the complimentary gratitude out of the way. "But you seriously didn't have to make me lunch. Despite what Ratchet says, I'm perfectly fine and capable of fending for myself."

"You don't argue with Ratchet," Jazz said while rubbing the back of his helm at the phantom sting of long ago head trauma. "Learned dat da hard way."

"Besides it's the least we could do," Bluestreak said cheerfully, earning fake gags from Rumble and Frenzy. "You've been taking care of us this whole time despite the hard time we've been giving you. And you were really sick yesterday; you had everyone worried. Well, the Autobots at least. I'm not sure if the 'Cons cared much. If they did, they had a weird way of showing it. But I'm getting sidetracked! Here ya go; I tried my hardest to use a bunch of stuff you liked."

Victoria blinked as she picked up the plate, transferring it to the table when the bottom of the plate turned out to be too hot to be placed on her lap. "Like I said, that was really sweet of you guys, but…what exactly have you made?"

"Well, you see," Bluestreak started after climbing up onto the table to stand beside the unknown concoction he had created. "Ratchet said you needed to start off eating small stuff, so I figured those prepackaged and sliced things—apples I think you told me they were—would be a good place to start. But you're always adding a bunch of stuff together to make it better, so I added the brown paste stuff that you like to eat straight from the jar too. And then Jazz pulled out the bag of chocolate chips and the white squishy things that Sunny and Sides ambushed Ironhide with a couple of cycles ago, and they were small, so I added them too. Then I remembered that almost everything you eat, you heat up first, so I stuck in the microwave for a minute, and it came out gooey and messy. So I thought it was perfect!"

Victoria blinked again as Bluestreak's long explanation came to an end, and he proudly smiled up at her. "So you made me…warm apple slices covered in peanut butter, marshmallows, and chocolate chips?"

"Yep!"

"That slag looks gross," Rumble muttered as he leaned on the edge of the couch to get a better look at the dark brownish goo that covered the plate. "Who'd consume that?"

"That's what I said!" Skywarp said as Bluestreak's door-wings visibly drooped. "I told him not to use the brown stuff. It looked better without it."

"I'm sure it's completely fine," Victoria protested as Bluestreak's wings went from drooping to straight up and rigid as he glared at the purple and black jet. "But it's, uh, too messy for me to eat with my hands. I need a fork."

"I'll get it!" Bluestreak said, happy once more as he jumped off the table to run into the kitchen. Skywarp scowled after him and climbed up onto the back of the couch to watch him.

Jazz climbed up the table to stand beside Ratchet, who was dubiously scrutinizing the concoction that Bluestreak had created. "You don't 'ave ta eat it ya don't wanna. Blue can handle it."

"No," the human insisted while watching the food as closely as Ratchet. "I like trying new things. I would have never known that I liked broccoli if I hadn't tried it…of course, I was five then and still thought that they were little trees, so I ate them to pretend I was a giant."

Jazz shrugged and stuck a finger into the peanut butter/chocolate/marshmallow mix and stuck it in his mouth. "Tastes good ta me." He laughed as Victoria unconsciously scrunched her nose in disgust. "Ah knew ya didn't wanna try it!"

Victoria put a finger to her lips to quiet him as Bluestreak appeared again with a fork that was almost the same size as him. "Got it!"

The brunette forced a gracious smile on to her face as she took the utensil from him. "Thank you Bluestreak." She leaned forward until the fork was hovering over the mess. Victoria paused long enough to glance at all the mechs around her, who were watching her closely. "Can I not eat without being scrutinized?"

"I wanna see how long it takes you to eject it like you did everything else yesterday," the blue Cassette said truthfully with Rumble nodding beside him. He shouted when Victoria acted as if she was about to stab him with the fork. "What happened to the neutral shit you always spew?"

"Where did you learn such language?" Victoria asked, noticing for the first time that the little mechs were beginning to switch their native curses with human ones. "Anyway, stop staring. I can't eat when people are staring at me."

The twins did the exact opposite and actually scooted closer to get a better look, their tiny act of defiance not going unnoticed as Jazz chuckled. Victoria chose to ignore them and speared the closest apple slice. It slipped off a couple of times, making Victoria curse and most of the mechs laugh at her struggle, before she was able to properly hold it in front of her. She stared at it before popping it into her mouth, chewing slowly and staring thoughtfully at the rest of the slices on her plate.

Bluestreak shuffled before stepping forward to get her attention. "Well? How is it? It's the first thing I've actually made, so if it's terrible than that's okay. I can always try again."

Victoria picked up the plate and speared another apple slice. "It's actually really good. Good job Bluestreak."

Frenzy and Rumble gagged as she ate another slice but only after covering it with more of the cooling topping, and even Skywarp looked a little sick from where he sat on the couch behind her. Ratchet just snorted at their disgust and turned back to the computer as Jazz gave Bluestreak a well-deserved high-five. "I was really worried that you wouldn't like it. I mean, it was my first try, and you don't often get it right the first go around. But I did have Jazz's help, so I guess that was kind of cheating. And Red Alert helped a little when he wasn't focused on Skywarp. Speaking of Red-"

"We're being attacked!" came the frantic SD's cry from the kitchen. Victoria twisted around to see the mech standing on the kitchen's window sill staring out into the front yard. "An unidentifiable object is sneaking its way up the path to the cabin."

"We're being attacked by a UFO?" Victoria asked as the image of a flying disc came to mind. That and the hundreds of fake videos she had seen on TV over the past few years. "Wait, F stands for flying not the other half of unidentifiable…that would make it a UO."

"Who cares what the acronym for it is?" Red Alert asked, frantically climbing down the cabinet to run into the living room. "We're being attacked! Quick, evasive maneuvers! Wait, we never planned for a surprise attack from the outside. We're completely defenseless! No plans, no major weapons, we're too tiny to do any major damage—we're all going to die!"

"Red Alert!" Ratchet shouted as he met the frantic mech halfway. "Calm down! Everything is going to be fine."

"Fine? Fine!" Red Alert shouted, ignoring the medic's attempts to calm him down by slapping his hand away. "How can we be fine? You haven't seen the movies Ratchet. We're in a cabin with only Victoria—a _femme_ of her species— to protect us, and we're in the middle of nowhere! They always die in the end!"

Instead of being offended, which she honestly had the right to be with what Red Alert was implying, Victoria gently scooped up the frantic mech and moved over to the window for him to point out what he had seen. Just like he had said, there was a white pickup truck slowly making its way up the trail, stopping occasionally to keep from sliding on the newest batch of melting snow from the night before. "Maybe it's just someone from town coming to check up on the cabin."

Red Alert didn't look very assured as he looked around for a way to get off of her hand. "We need to find the others and prepare for an attack."

"Red Alert-"

"Don't question me woman!"

Victoria frowned and turned around to drop the mech onto a couch pillow. He landed with a strangled sound emitting from the back of his vocalizer. "Just go back to base and let me handle this."

"But-"

"If you insult me by saying I can't protect myself, I'll tie a string around your leg and hang you upside down from the ceiling."

Red Alert snapped his mouth shut as the Decepticons present snickered at him. Ratchet shook his head and took the mech by the shoulder to lead him out of the room. Bluestreak went to follow but paused when he realized Jazz wasn't doing the same. "C'mon Jazz! We should go make sure the others are at base."

Jazz shook his head and suddenly looked up at Victoria with an apologetic grin. "Ah sorta forgot ta tell ya that somebody called yesterday. Said dey were comin' up ta visit."

Victoria shrugged and shooed two disgruntled Cassettes of the couch. "It's too late to tell me that now. Just stay out of sight while they're here." She paused and glanced out the sliding door, which was cracked open just like every other day. "Wait, who's outside?"

"Ooh, I'll go get my trine!" Skywarp volunteered, ever eager to please his crush. He transformed and flew out the door where he crashed into a disgruntled Starscream when he reached the two flying jets.

"O.P. and Prowl are outside with 'Jack," Jazz said over the screeches that were loud even inside the house. "Ah'll comm. 'em ta get inside and outta sight."

"Great," Victoria said absently as she glanced around the living room. "Where did Rumble and Frenzy run off to?"

The Autobots shrugged as Starscream came careening into the living room. "What is the meaning of this? Skywarp is saying that another organic is coming to the cabin."

"Yes," the woman confirmed as Thundercracker and Skywarp joined him in hovering before her. "I need you guys to stay hidden while he's here. The last thing I need is for him to be crazy and attempt to take you guys because your living toys."

"And _why_ would we listen to you?" Starscream asked, a part of him wanting to be as rebellious as ever while the other half was stewing in annoyance as Skywarp incessantly prodded him to obey her because of the younger jet's "quest of love."

"Can you just please do this one thing without being annoying?" Victoria asked impatiently as she glanced over her shoulder and saw the truck parking less than ten feet away through the window.

"It depends," he snapped back. "What's in it for us?"

Victoria didn't have time to argue, so she said the first thing that came to mind, which surprisingly wasn't a threat. "I'll put Megatron in the jar for a breem."

"A joor."

"Three breems and no more."

"…what about three and a half?"

"Two breems."

"Three is good." Starscream turned to his trine. "Thundercracker, Skywarp, retreat back to base for the time being." Thundercracker nodded and left without another word, but Skywarp hovered a little longer before drifting away. The tri-colored Seeker turned back to her. "You swear to keep your part of the deal?"

"If you stay hidden for at least two joors, I will," Victoria haggled. Even if the mysterious guest didn't stay that long, it would still be a good deal to get the jets to stay hidden for so long.

Starscream looked reluctant but agreed anyway. "Two joors and no more. And if you don't keep your end of the deal, then we shall terrorize you for the rest of our stay."

"If you don't keep your part of the deal, you might find yourself wingless for the rest of your stay," Victoria threatened as the jets completely retreated. She glanced down at Jazz and Bluestreak as she grabbed the plate she had been using and tidied up the coffee table. "Are they on their way in?"

Jazz's optic band flashed before he answered. "Yep! They'll be in in a couple o' klicks."

There was a loud knock at the door that made Victoria jump, and Bluestreak and Jazz began to retreat. "Alright, you guys just try to stay out of sight. I was serious when I told Starscream it might be a crazy. Some humans just aren't…right in the head, and I don't know anyone else who would be coming up here."

"Okie dokie," Jazz said over his shoulder, and Bluestreak just nodded as he skipped down the hallway.

Victoria exhaled and quickly went to throw the dirty plate in the sink as the knocking came again. She hurried to the door and straightened the shirt she had hastily thrown on that morning before opening the door. "Hi-"

She froze as the man on the other side grinned and reached out to bring her into a tight hug. "Victoria!"

"Dad?" the woman croaked out, and all she could do was desperately pray that all of the mechs would stay in their proper rooms during this man's stay. The last thing she wanted was for them to put their noses in to her private life.

**[~]**

"Swoop, you can't leave!"

"Me Swoop, Dinobot! Hide from nobody!"

Sideswipe took a running leap off the bed to land on the pterodactyl flying by and heading to the door. Swoop squawked as the front-liner took a position similar to a jet judo stance, but it proved difficult to stay on since Swoop's alt-mode didn't have the right parts to hold on to. Sideswipe finally settled for lying flat on the Dinobot's back. "Swoop, ya gotta land!"

"No!" Swoop protested and twisted upside down in an attempt to dislodge his unwanted passenger. Sideswipe gave a tiny yell as he dangled from above. "Let go!"

"Swoop," Ratchet said in a paternal voice that had Swoop landing in no time. "Primus, you're as thickhelmed as Grimlock is sometimes. _No one_ is allowed outside of the base for as long as Victoria's visitor is in the house. We have to remain hidden because we are not even _real."_

Swoop ducked his head at the medic's disapproving stare and shuffled over to Sideswipe to apologize for flinging him around in the air. Ratchet sighed and looked over at the door as Jazz and Bluestreak entered the room. Jazz smiled at the mech's impatient stare and casually strolled over to the assembled group of Autobots. "Vicky's guest is officially here, an' we're meant ta stay here 'til he's gone."

"What about Optimus, Prowl, and Wheeljack?" Red Alert asked, slightly panicked. "How are they getting back here with an unknown enemy blocking their way?"

Jazz scratched the back of his helm. "Ya know…Ah neva' thought 'bout that…"

Instead of simply groaning at the displeasing news, Red Alert yelped and ducked behind Mirage, who had been standing close by with Ironhide. "What is _he_ doing here?"

Jazz turned around to see Soundwave silently creeping around the crack in the door. The other Autobots tensed at the sight of the silent mech, some of them silently fuming that the Decepticon had managed to slip in without their knowledge. Jazz just grinned and strolled across the room to speak to the Communications Specialist without yelling. "Whut's up? Not every day a mech like yourself enters our abode."

Soundwave subtly glanced at the mechs behind the grinning Autobot. "Location of Rumble and Frenzy known?"

Jazz shrugged as he finally understood the Decepticon's visit. "Dunno. Shouldn't ya be able locate 'em on your own?"

Soundwave tensed a fraction as if he was offended. "Cassettes: able to block bond when privacy is wanted. Soundwave: does not impose."

"Well _that's _a surprise." Jazz's grin widened as he could just _feel_ the glare the indigo mech was sending him. "But the last place Ah saw 'em was in da livin' room."

Soundwave walked out of the door, and Jazz followed to see him standing in the hallway and watching as Victoria led her guest into the very room the Cassettes may still be in. "Well, you're slagged if Vicky catches 'em in there after she specifically told 'em ta get lost."

Jazz's grin fell as Soundwave said, "Slagged if Autobot officers seen."

"Almost forgot you were a spy," the saboteur muttered before turning to Soundwave. "What do ya want?"

"Locate twins: keep officers hidden."

The Autobot TIC rubbed his chin in thought. "Scratch my back, Ah'll scratch yours, huh? And how exactly are ya gonna help?"

Soundwave's chest compartment opened for two cassettes to fly out—one black and gray while the other was a mixture of red and black. "Eject: Ravage, Laserbeak. Objective: keep Autobots hidden." Laserbeak flew off in the direction that Soundwave silently prodded her in, but Ravage hesitated at the strange order before falling in behind her.

The cassette-player turned to stare at Jazz, who sighed. "Why do Ah feel like Ah got da short end o' da stick?"

**[~]**

There were very few things that Victoria was actually ashamed of. The first was the time when she was little and shoplifted a worthless beaded bracelet before coming clean to her mom halfway home. The second was popping a few pills back in college to keep herself awake and alert through finals after a few sleepless nights of studying. Another that was quickly becoming the most prominent was ignoring her brother while he was alive. There was nothing to do for the last one, so she was able to shove it to the back of her mind and temporarily forget it.

What she couldn't ignore were the many years that she had ignored one of the only living relatives she had left—her dad. Victoria hadn't seen her father since she went off to college. She had been too focused on her college work, wanting to get it done as quickly as possible, that she hadn't taken the time to visit. After college, Victoria had been too busy with work. Hell, they only talked on major holidays or birthdays. To see him now…what should have been a joyous reunion just made her feel so nauseatingly guilty on top of the guilt that had already been festering since she arrived.

Her father didn't seem to care about her lack of response since his arrival as he carefully sat on the couch, all the while looking at her and the changes that had occurred over the years they hadn't seen each other. "Look at you, all growed up! Why, I can still remember the times you begged me ta stay up past yer bedtime."

Victoria smiled slightly at the sound of his accent. It was one similar to Ironhide's, perhaps a little more pronounced, and an accent that Victoria had fought hard to get rid of during her years of college. It had never truly bothered her while she grew up because everyone around her had the accent. It wasn't until she had moved down to the southern part of Florida that she got rid of it. So many people down in that area had refused to take her seriously because of it, all because of the stereotypes that made people believe others with the accent were as dumb as a brick. That wasn't true of course, but Victoria had opted to lose the accent instead of explaining that to the one-tracked minds of her peers.

"I missed you too daddy," the woman was finally able to say as she nervously played with her fingers and he glanced around the room. "I'm sorry-"

"Now don't start with that," he cut her off, finally settling his eyes on her. "I'm more interested in fixin' what little I can." He patted the cushion beside him, and she sat down as he looked around the room again, even turning around to see the kitchen behind them. "I tell you what, that little rascal always did say he was gonna paint his house the most ridiculous colors he could, just ta git back at me for not lettin' him paint his room more than one color."

His daughter glanced at the orange and yellow paint that she had grown used to over the short time she had lived there. "The other rooms are just as bad. My room is pink."

The man chuckled at that. "You always hated pink."

Victoria scrunched her nose in annoyance. She was positive that she was not the only female in the world that hated pink. "Anyway, what took you so long to get here? The lawyer said that Eric's letters had been sent even before I came here. I was starting to think you just wouldn't come."

Her father frowned at that and raked a hand through his thinning, gray hair. "Can you believe that that thing got redirected _three times _before it ever saw the insides of my mailbox?" he said, drawing attention to "three times" by holding up three fingers. "I didn't even git it 'til three days ago, and couldn't leave 'til I got a job done. Ariel wanted to come, but we couldn't take Benjamin out of school 'cause he had already been out a week back in October."

Victoria tensed at the name of her stepmother and half-brother. Not that she had anything against the two. She just hadn't ever properly met them, even though her father had spoken of them during their brief calls. It was just…strange to think of them. Her father had remarried not long after she had left for college, and the two newlyweds hadn't waited long before having their first child. Eric would have been thrilled at the thought of having another younger sibling…

"-missed the funeral."

Victoria zoned back in just in time to hear the end of his statement. She shook the thoughts out of her head before turning back to him. "He didn't want one."

Her dad looked up at her, and she almost flinched at the sadness that dominated his expression. "What d'ya mean?"

"In his will," Victoria started before swallowing around the sudden lump that had formed in her throat. "In his will, he stated that he didn't want to have a ceremony. He just ordered that his remains be donated to whoever needed them and the rest be cremated."

The room went silent as her father rubbed his face in an attempt to soak in what she had just told him. Meanwhile, Victoria couldn't bring herself to look at him, so she glanced all around the room, desperate for something to keep her mind busy. She found it alright, and she almost choked at the sight of a tiny blue body disappearing behind the entertainment system in front of them. They were supposed to have gone back to their dryer!

Victoria started as her father suddenly chuckled. "I tell ya, that boy always liked makin' things difficult for me." He pulled out a wad of paper from his pocket, and it looked as if it had been folded and refolded many times over the past three days. "He wrote in here that I better go ahead and start believin' he was gone 'cause I wasn't gonna see a body. Little brat—he knew that I'm one of those people whose gotta see it ta believe it."

Victoria shifted uncomfortably as she didn't know what to say and was too busy glaring at the black helm that appeared from behind its hiding spot to grin at her. If her dad saw them, they were so dead! And not because her father would probably try to step on them. "Well…Eric was always strange…"

He chuckled. "I know that more than anyone. Stubborn as an ass too." He looked up to glance around the room, and she had to bite her lip to keep from yelling at Rumble, who ducked back behind the furniture before he could be seen. "But he knew what he wanted." He glanced back at his daughter. "And he always wanted you to be happy."

The woman blinked at the sudden statement before looking away as she went from just uncomfortable to _very_ uncomfortable. For some reason Victoria wasn't nearly as surprised when she caught a glimpse of Ravage slinking in through the sliding door. Ravage must have noticed her staring because he crouched further into the floor so that his belly was now dragging across it. She would have to tell the Cassette later that movement didn't hide him any less. "Yeah well, we see how that turned out."

Her dad shook his head and stared at the muted TV while rubbing his chin. "The one thing all three of my kids inherited was my stubbornness. At least y'all take after your mothers when it comes to good looks." He grinned and looked back at her, not noticing how she glared at the Cassette twins as they mockingly crept across the living room, dramatically ducking behind more furniture until they reached the hallway. "Turned out to be a good thing too. Your brother was always too nerdy to land a girl without them looks."

"Huh?" Victoria asked finally looking back at him. "Where did that come from?"

His grin turned upside down as his attempt to lighten the mood failed, and he shook the papers in his hand. "Your brother must have the same talent as your mother did. They both knew what to say ahead of time. You know what your mother told me three months before she was lying in the hospital?" Victoria shook her head, a little surprised at the turn of conversation. "She said 'Terrence, if you don't find someone else to take care of ya after I go, then I'll come back to haunt you.'" He chuckled at the fond memory, though there was a tint of sadness in his eyes. "And now your brother's tellin' me from the dead that I need to convince you to read your letter because you won't unless ya get a helpful shove in the right direction."

Victoria looked away. She didn't want to talk about it anymore and stood up from the couch to head into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" She thought she heard him mutter something about stubbornness under his breath before he answered with a no. "I do. Give me a second, and I'll be right back."

The woman stepped across the hallway and into the kitchen where she immediately fell into a no-nonsense stance and glared down at the blue and red mech, who both walked across the cabinet without a care. "What are you two doing? I thought I told you to go back to your base!"

"And miss this?" Rumble said with a shrug as he picked up a stray chocolate chip that had been missed in the clean-up earlier. "It's our function to spy. Speaking of spying, how come we never knew your brother was offlined?"

Victoria made a sudden lunge at them, catching them both by surprise and managing to snatch them up at the same time. "That's my personal business that little toys are not meant to know!"

"Let me go!" Rumble protested as Frenzy opened his mouth at the same time. "Well you're a lousy sister! If Rumble was dead I would at least morn for him. Decepticon or not, he's still my brother and the closest friend I got. From the way you act it's as if you don't care about yours!"

Frenzy's accusation caused her to flinch and let them go, making them fall to the ground and land roughly while protesting loudly. Victoria ignored them and rubbed her eyes as the stinging sensation that had been coming and going for the past few days came back with full force. The Cassettes paid her no attention and made a mad dash for the hallway, only to be tripped at the very end. They grumbled when Jazz stepped out in front of them. "What's up? Ah think you guys are in fo' it when ya get back to ya mobile home."

"Shit!" Rumble cried as he finally remembered the "meeting" that Soundwave had ordered so they could share what they had found out over the last few days. "He's gonna kill us!"

The twins ran off down the hallway, and Jazz turned to Victoria with his signature grin, which quickly vanished when he found her leaning against the counter with hands covering her face. "You okay?"

A short moment passed before she shook her head, and he stepped closer. "What's up?"

Victoria moved her hands and opened her mouth as if to answer him but slammed it back shut when her dad called for her from the living room. "What's takin' ya?"

She snapped back to attention and motioned for Jazz to hide as she turned around and searched for her excuse to escape the living room. "Sorry, I just got a little distracted."

The brunette hated the sad understanding in his smile that she saw when she turned around and found him entering the kitchen. She refused to acknowledge it as she pulled out a bottle of juice from the refrigerator. "I know how hard it is to accept that he's gone." She hummed distractedly as the bottle shook in her hand, sending the liquid onto the counter instead of in the glass. "It took me years to accept your mother's-"

"I'm doing perfectly fine!" Victoria snapped a little sharply while pushing things around on the counter to find the paper towels. "Right now, I just need to focus on getting the cabin cleaned up so I can go back home."

She gave up on the paper towels and pulled out a washcloth from beneath the sink instead. Furiously scrubbing at the wet spot, she didn't notice her dad come up behind her until he placed his hands on her shoulders. "You're brother never meant to hurt you."

"Well he did!" Victoria snapped again and flung the cloth aside. "I didn't want to talk to him at the time or hear anything he had to say or-"

She shut her mouth and clenched her jaw to keep the sudden flood of tears that blurred her vision at bay, tensing when her dad wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. His chin was placed on the top of her head. "The one thing I regret is ever runnin' Eric off and bein' just as stubborn as you at forgivin' him. And now it's too late for me to change things." He turned her around and wasn't surprised to see his daughter had effectively locked everything away, her face now passively blank. "Your brother felt just as guilty about runnin' off, and I think you should really read that letter he left. It sure as hell's been helpin' me."

Seeing her lack of response to his words, Terrence backed away and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm only gonna be able to stay today and then I gotta leave at noon tomorrow. I'll come see you again before I leave—give ya some time to think."

Victoria nodded and walked with him to the door. She stood there with her arms crossed and a blank expression on her face as she watched her dad get in the truck and pull out. He waved once more before slowly moving down the trail and vanishing into the trees. She remained there long enough for the sound of the engine to fade before slowly going back inside.

When she turned,Victoria found Jazz and Prowl standing behind her while further down the hallway Optimus was vanishing into her room and Laserbeak flew into the utility room. The saboteur tilted his head in question while Prowl's door-wings twitched ever so slightly. "What?"

Jazz immediately put his hands up in an "I'm innocent" pose while Prowl's wings arched slightly and a small frown appeared. Victoria stared back at him before his door-wings stood straight up, and he grabbed his companion's arm to drag him down the hallway. Jazz silently protested by dragging his feet the entire way. "We will be at the base if you need us."

The woman watched them vanish into her room before following behind, except she passed the room and kept going until she reached the laundry room and entered without a second thought. The mechs inside barely even noticed her entrance as the group stood around Starscream and Megatron as they flung poorly veiled insults at one another; their insults would most likely end with the Air Commander being shot at, but that was probably why most of the Decepticons were watching so intently. Victoria wasn't concerned with them as she dug around the basket of dirty clothes to pull out the pants she wore the first day there, thankful that her washing clothes had been put off since Bonecrusher was very possessive of the dryer he stayed in most of the time. From the pocket she pulled out the folded envelope she had haphazardly shoved in there and ripped it open.

The small sound attracted the attention of Ravage, who slinked away from Soundwave and closer to her, nosing his way up her bent legs to see what she had in her hands and most likely report it back to his master. She absently nudged him out of the way, earning a muffled growl, before completely dumping him on the floor as she stood back up. Ravage glided back to stand between Soundwave and Barricade as the verbal fighting escalated to Megatron savagely clawing at the jet's face as his patience finally snapped.

Soundwave silently watched as the organic left and shook his head when Laserbeak, who was perched on his shoulder, gave him a questioning nudge through the bond he shared with each of his Cassettes. Nothing going through Victoria's head at this time was the concern of the Decepticons or Autobots. But that didn't mean he would go out of his way to stop Skywarp from slipping through the door and following her.

**[~]**

"Vicky!" Bluestreak called out in worry. His organic friend had vanished some time ago and the normal time for her to make her organic fuel had come and gone. At first, he had thought that she had just gotten caught up in what she was doing, but what started out being a couple of breems late became joors, and those joors were really starting to add up. He hadn't seen her since her visitor had left, a fact that was only found out when Prowl had told Optimus they were in the all clear before vanishing with Jazz. Pit, he had even gotten worried enough to ask the _Decepticons _if they had seen her. After some jeers and becoming uncomfortable with Soundwave's blank staring, he had given up on them, but Thundercracker had covertly asked the Autobot to let him know if he saw Skywarp flying around anywhere. Not that Bluestreak was really looking for the jet…

"Victoria!" the young Praxian shouted again as he reached the top of the staircase. What if something had happened to her? She never left them alone without informing _someone_ where she was going, even if it was just to the second floor. It was very un-Victoria-like to just vanish without a word, and on top of that, she was still recovering from being sick the day before. No matter what she said, no one could just bounce back from such a severe illness that included ejecting fuel from the wrong end.

Door-wings twitching with worry, Bluestreak's periwinkle optics suddenly honed in on the slender beam of light coming through an open door in front of him and immediately ran towards it. He vaguely realized that it was from one of the two rooms that Victoria usually kept closed off. He didn't worry much about that as he pushed the door open wide enough for him to slip through.

"Victoria!" Bluestreak shouted in relief while squeezing through the door. His helm twisted around as he searched the room, finally stopping when he saw her sitting on the floor and leaning against a bookshelf similar to the one that was currently being used for the Autobot's base. "Thank Primus! Vicky, I was starting to get worried that something had happened. Though I really should have started looking up here, after all-"

His vocal processor froze up when he finally reached her. Heedless of the fairly high amount of paper surrounding his host, Bluestreak climbed up her bent leg until he stood on top of her knee with bright optics filled with worry as he stared at her blotchy, wet face and red eyes.

"What's wrong?" the Praxian squeaked out before his vocal processor had fully rebooted. "Are you hurt? Should I go get Ratchet? Did the Decepticons do something? Are you hurt?"

Victoria's previously unfocused gaze snapped up to him, light grey eyes meeting worried blue optics. "What? No! I'm fine. I'm fine now."

Bluestreak didn't look very convinced as her voice trailed off, and his door-wings expressed as much as they twitched uncontrollably. "But if you're fine, then why are you leaking? And why don't you look okay? If you were, then you would be downstairs snapping Sunstreaker and Barricade's arms off for starting a fight in the living room."

This caught Victoria's attention as she focused even more on the mech's tiny form. "What is their problem? They're always starting fights with each other."

Bluestreak shrugged, merely happy that the woman was looking more herself and that the distant stare had vanished. "I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that it started the second day we were here. It doesn't help that Barricade tends to say nasty things about you. Sunny doesn't show it very often, but he's very sensitive about someone messing with his comrades. Actually, he's just sensitive. It comes with the territory of being an artist. At least, that's what Sides says."

The room went quiet as the talkative mech finished, and they stared at each other. By now, Bluestreak had settled down onto her knee, and Victoria was lightly stroking the back of his twitchy door-wings, not that he minded. It helped to calm him down a little and think more clearly over the worry he was feeling. "What's wrong Victoria?"

Victoria smiled sadly at the soft spoken question. Sunstreaker may have been surprisingly sensitive when it came to certain things, but Bluestreak was by far the most sensitive 'bot in the house. He seemed to naturally pick up on people's crappy moods. "Did I ever tell you why I was here?"

Bluestreak shook his head. Now that he had stopped to think about it, none of them had ever bothered to ask, and Victoria had never bothered to tell. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that she had said she lived somewhere else, he would have assumed that this was her home. Not that he didn't think that Jazz may have known more about their host and chose not to share it. The saboteur had a way of finding out things, whether they were meant to be found or not.

Victoria let out a sad sigh and looked down at one of the many sheets of paper surrounding her. "My brother left me this place after." She paused to swallow back some emotion. "After he died."

Bluestreak's wings tensed under her light strokes, and she pulled her hand away. As a soldier, Bluestreak had seen death many times. Even before joining the Autobots, he had witnessed death…but his friend had obviously been lucky enough for it not to be a common occurrence for her. "I-I'm sorry Victoria. Man, it must have been hard having to deal with us for so many cycles and not so long after…that."

Victoria diverted her eyes and refused to look at him directly. "That's just it. Up until a couple of days ago, I didn't really care."

The Autobot must have had a look of confusion on his face, which would have made sense as he truly was confused, because Victoria sighed again and tiredly rubbed her eyes. "At least, I told myself I didn't care. I've been really…stupid these past few years. When I was younger, my brother left without saying anything, and I was so _hurt_ by his sudden disappearance that I just cut him out of my life. I wouldn't talk to him when he called or open the letters he sent me. It finally got to the point when he just stopped trying to talk to me." Victoria chuckled bitterly, and Bluestreak firmly decided that he didn't like the sound coming from her. "I must have been the angstiest teenager there ever was."

She paused to gesture at the paper around them. "Eric has been writing letters ever since he stopped trying to contact me. He wrote to me and my dad, and he wrote about _everything. _His first job after college, how he came to live here, meeting his fiancé Tabitha, and how terrible it was after she died." Victoria flicked the closest paper. "It's all here because he could never send it to us, but he still wanted to act like he was talking to us. And at the end of each letter he says _he's sorry_."

Bluestreak jumped up in worry as a stray tear managed to trail down her cheek. It wasn't red like the stuff that oozed out of the wounds she had obtained over the course of their stay, but he wasn't sure if he should be relieved by that or more worried. Victoria didn't even notice as she looked at him, the anguish she had hidden from everyone for years finally on display. "This is all my fault_._ I was so focused on protecting myself from all the pain I had already been experiencing from the death of my mother and the new pain from my brother leaving me that I never even stopped to consider how he must have felt. I isolated myself by choice, but Eric…Eric _hated _to be alone. He couldn't stand it even when he was being rebellious in high school. And he had to go through all of this alone! And I just…I just feel so horrible that I'm only finding out about this now."

"And it was a stupid choice!" she continued as her hand come up to wipe away the stray tears that she couldn't control. "I've been so focused on keeping everyone out because of a choice I made as a moody little teenager. God, if I had opened one of those stupid letters or picked up the damn phone…"

Throughout her speech, Bluestreak's wings had been drooping until they were pointed down, the complete opposite of their normal perky state. He crawled over to her shoulder as the woman tried to keep more tears from falling by pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes. He sat silently on her shoulder as the tears managed to slip past her hands and continue down her cheeks. He knew what it was like to lose a loved one—_Primus_ did he know how much it hurt. But he had also learned that the process of grieving, no matter how much it hurt, was the first step to moving on. The mech wasn't privy to how many orns this grief had had time to fester, but by what Victoria was saying and the way she was acting, it was obvious that it was long overdue. All he could do was wait patiently, just like Prowl had done with him.

And wait he did. Bluestreak didn't bother to keep track of time as he petted the raven strands of her hair as the random tears and muttered words turned to sobs. He thought he saw someone step into the doorway from the corner of his optic, but when he finally thought to look that way, they were long gone and the door had been pushed shut to give them some sort of privacy.

Victoria's sobs had died down to the occasional hiccup and tiny shudders until she was able to lift her head from where she had placed it on her knees. Bluestreak didn't bother to note the blotchy pattern that had been left behind by the tears or the snot she had to wipe away with her sleeve for lack of anything else to use. He just sat on her shoulder, rubbing the side of her neck now in what he hoped were soothing circles.

"I'm sorry," Victoria said after sniffling pathetically. "I didn't mean to breakdown like that."

Bluestreak shrugged. "S'okay. It's better to get it out than keep it locked inside." He paused while Victoria tried to dry her face with the bottom of her shirt. "I know you might not want to hear it, and it isn't any of my business but… I don't think your brother would want you to feel this way, like it's your fault." Victoria looked over at him with reddened eyes. "Maybe he left this behind so that you would forgive him and move on. I know… I know that if it was me in his place and it was Prowl or Jazz or one of the other 'bots I've grown close to in your place, I wouldn't want them to live with any kind of guilt, whether they deserved it or not. Smokey's told me that it isn't healthy to hold onto guilt like that."

Victoria uncurled to stretch her legs and lean against the bookshelf. She was quiet for a while, and Bluestreak was starting to think he had crossed some invisible line when she reached down for a stray paper. "His letters got happier when he met Tabitha. There was even one where he said he hoped that me and dad had been able to find people who made us as happy as he was with Tabitha." She smoothed out the crinkled paper for Bluestreak to see the messy handwriting in purple ink. "He even started writing with weird colors instead of black. He was starting to move on…"

The young woman sniffed once more before moving to gather the rest of the paper and place them all back into a binder. Bluestreak was silent and gripped her shirt when she stood up to replace the binder. "What were you saying about Sunstreaker and Barricade?"

Bluestreak smiled sadly as he told his host about the fight they had started right before he had gone off to search for her. He was aware that one good cry didn't make things better—didn't heal the gaping hole that seemed to appear in a spark. But worrying over the mechs that had suddenly fallen in her life seemed to be a way for Victoria to cope with the anguish, just like his constant talking kept him from thinking too much about the past. Who was he to take a coping mechanism away?

He only felt a _little_ bad when Sunstreaker got another dislocated arm and Barricade was put into the Jar-of-Solitary-Confinement after she caught them in the act of trying to strangle each other.

**[~]**

Prowl frowned as Jazz leaned in close to his face. He was tempted to shove the saboteur away but the chance was taken from him when Jazz settled back on his pedes and tilted his head in curiosity. "So…nothin' ta say 'bout what we saw?"

"It is none of our business," Prowl answered immediately and was temporarily distracted as Sideswipe ran past them with a tiny thimble filled with whatever material he planned to use for his next prank. "Victoria's personal life is not going to get us back home."

Jazz leaned back into his face, and the tactician did shove him away this time. "What if it did affect our gettin' home?"

"Then I would be more concerned," Prowl admitted before sighing. "What do you want me to say Jazz? That I am worried about her? I've only known her for an orn, and in that time we have only directly spoken to each other a handful of times, ninety percent of which ended with me crashing. Obviously she's fine if she has been able to get by this long without breaking down."

Prowl looked away at the end of his short speech and frowned at the sight of Sunstreaker trying to take Barricade's head off while Ironhide and Soundwave watched from the coffee table. Because of the distraction, he didn't notice the sudden grin that appeared on his friend's face, nor was he prepared for the arm that was suddenly thrown across his shoulder. "Ah knew you cared!"

Door-wings twitching with impatience, Prowl shrugged the arm off and crossed his arms across his chasis. "I do not."

"Yes, ya do," Jazz protested with a grin. "If ya didn't, ya wings wouldn't be slouched so low." Said wings automatically shifted back to a neutral position, causing Jazz to chuckle and Prowl to scowl. "Ya secret's safe with me, Prowler. Jokin' aside, how ya think Vicky's gonna act from now on?"

"Like she normally does," Prowl answered automatically and watched Barricade twist away from Sunstreaker for a third time to taunt the front-liner. Sunstreaker was far too easy to get wound up. "Why do you think she went off to be alone? So that none of us would see her in that condition and expect any less of her. We subconsciously do it all the time. After a failed mission, after witnessing a death that could have been prevented, after sending a mech off to certain death—we all take the opportunity to be alone and express the emotions that we do not wish for others to see."

Jazz let a small smile flit across his face as he remembered Prowl silently shutting the door upstairs after they had come across the sobbing Victoria and Bluestreak attempting to comfort her. "Tell me da truth—ya think she'll be okay?"

Prowl observed Mirage change the movie disc in the player as Sideswipe reappeared beside the aristocrat without the thimble he had been carrying. There was a yell from the kitchen, a yell that he identified as Ratchet's, and Sideswipe's snickering gave away where the thimble had disappeared to. "No matter how many times you witness it, death is not an easy thing to get over. It takes time for anyone, but with the right amount of help, it can be handled."

"Sunstreaker, Barricade!" The two mechs in question quickly separated as Victoria appeared in the entrance of the living room with Bluestreak riding on her shoulder. From afar, the only signs of her earlier distress were slightly redder cheeks and nose, but that could easily be mistaken for anger. "I thought I said no fighting in the living room!"

"Leave me alone you crazy femme!" Sunstreaker shouted as she reached down for him. He ducked out of the way and would have gotten away if Victoria didn't have such a long reach. Barricade was quickly apprehended afterwards, and the three disappeared into the kitchen, where Barricade's yells were suddenly cut off as he was most likely put into the jar that the human was becoming fond of and Sunstreaker's yells just got louder as his arm was most likely ripped off.

Jazz chuckled and flung his arm back over Prowl's shoulders, ignoring how the strategist tensed under him. "Ah think you're right, Prowler. We provide plenty o' distraction ta help her."

"_That isn't exactly what I meant,"_ Prowl thought as Sideswipe ran into the kitchen to see his brother only to be chased out by an angry Ratchet. _"But it will have to do."_

**[~]**

Skywarp scowled as Thundercracker sent him another ping through the private comm. link that their trine shared. He loved his trine brothers to death (not that he would say/display that around the other Decepticons; it would ruin his reputation), but Thundercracker was getting on his last nerve! The oldest of the trine was always bugging him when he didn't want to be messed with. Besides, the last thing he wanted right now was for his brother to start up again about his fascination about Victoria.

That was the thing about Thundercracker—his brother was always trying to tell him what to do. Skywarp don't do this; Skywarp don't do that; Skywarp you're not supposed to look down a femme's chest armor! (And _that_ was why Skywarp was more…experienced in that area than the other two of his trine.) Now the oldest Seeker was telling him that the interest he had in their host was nothing but a passing fad. Like slag! A passing fad didn't make his spark do that weird flippy thingy it did he saw his human. Quite frankly, it was starting to bug him a little because he had no clue why it was doing that.

And now Skywarp was even more confused, which was why he sat alone on top of the bookshelf looking out into the empty room. He had followed Victoria on a whim, figuring it would be a good time get some alone time with her. Unfortunately, his whole "get Victoria alone and chat her up to make her realize how great he was" plan didn't exactly work out since he drew up a blank on what to talk to her about, so he had flown up to sit on top of the bookshelf until he could figure something out.

As he watched, he got more and more nervous about interrupting. It wasn't that bad to begin with as Victoria muttered to herself about finding a certain binder out of the hundreds on the shelf, but then she sat down below him and started pulling out sheets of paper that she stopped to read before quietly placing them on the floor beside her and moving on. The pile slowly grew, and he silently watched from above as she started to sniffle and rub her eyes, but other than that she seemed fine. Then she pulled out a small stack of pictures.

Skywarp had actually started to freak out when her optics started leaking. This was _not_ how the femme normally behaved. She wasn't an overemotional wreck like most of the femmes he had encountered in the past; she stood up to Megatron on nearly a daily basis for frags sake!

Then the (annoying) Praxian had walked in, and she was spewing out her brother's death and turning back into sobbing mess. Skywarp didn't know how to respond to that new information, and it made him mad that the Autobot seemed to know exactly what to do. He had listened to her cry for a few breems, looking up once to see the Autobot strategist and Special Ops mech close the door, before she managed to pull it back together and leave the room with Bluestreak.

That had left Skywarp in the position he was in now—sitting alone, contemplating (a pastime he didn't often indulge in), and ignoring the various efforts on Thundercracker's behalf to contact him. He had just seen a completely different side of the femme he was pursuing, a very vulnerable side that had most Decepticons cringing away with disgust or hate. But the Seeker felt neither, and it was weird. He just couldn't bring himself to fell disgusted over her display of emotion for the death of her brother; after all, he probably wouldn't be any better off if something were to happen to Starscream or Thundercracker. Trines always functioned in groups of three and losing one of those bonds, just _thinking_ about it, was a Seeker's worst nightmare. They just couldn't properly function on their own. These feelings of empathy were going against everything he had learned while in the Decepticon army, and it was really starting to play with his processor, not to mention the weird way his spark had been acting up.

It wasn't until Skywarp's optics came online that he realized he had shut them down. He glanced around the room, ignoring Thundercracker's attempt to once again contact him, until his optics fell onto a corner of one of the photos that must have accidentally been shoved beneath the bookshelf in Victoria's hasty cleanup. The Seeker gracefully glided down to the floor and pulled the photo out.

He stared down at the two organics it displayed. They must have been the version of human younglings because he was immediately able to figure out that the little femme on the paper was Victoria. She looked a lot different, a little chubbier in the face area, her hair was wilder, and she wasn't as clean, but the grey eyes the kid had were definitely Victoria's, even if there was a less serious light in them. That meant that the mech beside her must have been the brother that she mentioned earlier. They were both leaning over on what appeared to be a table outside, since there were trees in the background, and lined up in front of them was a mixture of Autobots and Decepticons: Megatron, Soundwave, the front-liners, Optimus Prime, and it looked like Ravage was hiding behind Soundwave.

Skywarp ignored the others in the picture and focused on the youngling Victoria. She looked so…happy. She rarely smiled like that, all bright and cheery, but when she did, he was more than positive that he wasn't the only one who noticed. Just by looking at the picture, Skywarp realized that she had been really close to her brother and losing him, even after openly admitting that she had ignored for years, was taking a toll on her. That just brought Skywarp back to thinking about what would happen if he lost one of his brothers…

**~Skywarp, if you don't answer me, I'll tell Victoria about every mech and femme you've ever been with!~**

Skywarp immediately jolted straight up as Thundercracker so rudely bypassed the comm. link and went straight into communicating through their bond. He knew darn well how hard it was to ignore that. **~Then I'll tell her who really broke that bowl that was on the coffee table.~**

**~But...that was you!.~**

**~That's the official story…that Victoria has never heard and can be butchered to my liking.~**

Skywarp grinned at TC's growl of annoyance. Thundercracker was usually the composed one, making it hard for others to really get to him. Plus he had _a lot_ of experience with Starscream and Skywarp to teach him how to stay cool and calm. **~What do you want?~**

**~To know where the frag you are,~ **Thundercracker with worry that he couldn't hide. **~You've been missing for joors now and won't answer my attempts to contact you.~**

**~I'm coming back to base,~ **the Seeker said as he bent down to pick the photo up. He flew up to the desk that was in the corner of the room and stuck it into a place where it wouldn't slide down the tilted desktop, stopping only a few short klicks to look at what seemed to be a miniature version of a tantrum throwing Starscream. When he was done, he took one last look at it before teleporting back to base, where he got a squawk from Starscream when he gave the Air Commander a surprise hug just like he used to when they were younglings.

Yeah, Skywarp had a niggling sense that he might be able to understand what Victoria was going through and didn't hold it against her. It just made his spark flip more with the ideas of how he could comfort her and essentially get more brownie points with her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>…I hate trying to write emotional stuff…besides I'm just in a bad mood right now, so I won't bore you wonderful readers with my general unhappiness. Go live your happy little lives~

Until next Saturday.

**EDITED: 1/30/2014 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	13. A Day at the Office

**AN: **I'm back and in a better mood this week ^_^ Half of my brain is mush now from watching cartoons that are meant for three year olds, but the other half is still functional! _Beowulf828 _is still reading chapters for me (thank you very much!), and thanks to everyone who reviewed! Not sure if I managed to reply to each review from last chapter (I'm pretty sure I didn't).

_Orbital Cycle: 1 month_

"_Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

Now on to the _longest freaking chapter_ I have ever written :D

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Twelve

A Day at the Office

* * *

><p><strong>Day 14<strong>

Victoria made it a point to lock all the mechs in their appointed rooms. Both factions complained about the "imprisonment," some louder than others, but Victoria was going to enjoy what little time she had with her meant that she wasn't going to be constantly worrying about little robots possibly popping up out of nowhere and giving her poor dad a heart attack. Besides, she had spoken to Optimus the night before after her unplanned breakdown, and he had completely understood her need for some alone time with her family. The Decepticons were not really informed about being confined to their tiny room, but she figured it would be easier just to shut their door suddenly when they were all assembled in the dryer rather than try to speak rationally to the tiny mech who headed the faction. And what do you know, it worked!

With the mechs properly taken care of, Victoria was actually able to enjoy the time she had with her dad. It amazed her at how much she had truly missed in her conscious effort to isolate herself. Her dad spoke fondly of her stepmom, Ariel, and her little half-brother, Benjamin, and she could tell that he loved them both as much as he did her mother, brother, and her. Just by listening to the how he talked about them, _she _liked them and she had only properly met her stepmom once. He spoke of just about everyone who lived in the small town that Victoria had grown up in—the few of her graduating class who still lived there (prompting her to mention the old classmate she had met on her shopping trip), the elderly couple who had lived beside them up until a year ago when they both went peacefully in their sleep, and the wacko who still thought he was married to his cat.

Victoria couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard with someone, which was truly sad. Honestly, before the mini-Transformers had been thrown into her life, she couldn't exactly remember the last time she had laughed without it being forced.

It was hard to have to see her dad leave. Victoria just wanted to keep him at the cabin with her, catch up on everything she had missed, but acknowledged that it would never work that way. Her dad had a life to get back to, similar to the one she had to return to, but she would keep the promise she made with him as he climbed into his truck. "You'll be callin' me soon, right?"

Victoria smiled and reached up to give him another tight hug. That was one thing she had missed after making the juvenile decision she had allowed to run her life: the close contact she had once upon a time instigated on her own. "I promise to call you soon and a lot more often. I love you daddy."

He gave her a brilliant smile and squeezed her back just as tightly. "Ya better or I'm comin' down to Florida to drag you back home." He let go, and she backed away to let him shut the door. By the time she was back on the porch, he was already turning around, giving her one last wave, before vanishing down the trail. Her smile finally fell as the engine of the truck grew faint. She hadn't anticipated it feeling so lonely when he left.

The woman was brought out of her thoughts at the light weight that suddenly appeared on her shoulder. "So…can I have a cookie?"

Victoria sighed despite the tiny smile that appeared as she walked back into the house. "I thought you just stole two from the cookie jar."

"…I was framed!"

She missed the way Skywarp's wings perked up when she laughed at him.

**[~]**

**Day 15**

Victoria's good mood didn't last long, and it startled some of the Autobots at how abruptly it ended. One minute, she had been explaining the use of the syringe Swoop had been playing with since he found it the day she was sick, and the next minute she was locking herself in her room alone after her cellphone started ringing. The Autobots each attempted on several occasions to regain entry to the room only to be denied with a shout through the door for needed privacy. Most of them eventually gave up, accepting the fact that they were temporarily cut off from base and would not be allowed back in until the organic finished what she had deemed important enough to lock herself in the room. They could find other things to occupy their time during the wait.

Bluestreak was one of the few who was tenacious enough to keep trying to get into the room along with Swoop, who wasn't nearly as demanding or worried but just curious with their host's sudden change in attitude. After Bluestreak had ran out of excuses to get in and was sulking against the bathroom door, Swoop told Victoria that he was going to cry (an odd human activity he had witnessed on the TV, but it always made the humans comfort each other) because she was ignoring him for no reason. To the Twins amusement, as they had been passing at the moment on their way to the second floor, the pterodactyl was instantly granted access before the door shut once more. Bluestreak was then teased about the Dinobot now being the "cutest" Autobot.

Eventually, Victoria had reopened the room, but she ignored them as she typed away on her laptop and flipped through papers that had been dumped onto the middle of the bed in a pile that Swoop helped her organize in her obvious search for something. It was late in the night when the organic had given a sudden and angry yell, one that actually made the Cassettes wonder out of the laundry room to investigate, before collapsing onto the bed with a few new curses that had said mini-bots running back to Soundwave to test out.

Whatever had Victoria in a bad mood, which had been somewhat alienated after Swoop had initiated a cuddle session that she just couldn't ignore, carried on to the next morning, and the Autobots were beginning to worry about her. Victoria had been wandering around the house for most of the morning doing nothing but constantly typing on and cursing at her portable computer. She seemed to be ignoring them, even to the point where she hadn't noticed a fight break out between Swoop and Ravage. And she had been sitting in the same room!

Red Alert was convinced that the Decepticons had somehow brainwashed her; Ratchet insisted that it was natural for a woman to act strange at a certain time during an orbital cycle; and Ironhide told everyone to just leave the girl alone. Despite their worry, none of the mechs seemed to want to go directly to the source and ask what was wrong. Some of them had offended one to many femmes who had been in similar moods and didn't wish to invoke the rage of one who was ten times bigger than them by saying the wrong thing.

None of the Decepticons seemed to care, except Skywarp, Soundwave, and Thundercracker. Soundwave had stopped caring when he realized there was nothing potentially threatening about the sudden change in behavior, and Thundercracker was like the Autobots and didn't wish to unintentionally make her angry. Skywarp, on the other hand, didn't seem to have that fear. He sat quietly on her shoulder and watched her work on the computer. He was amazingly well-behaved even when Victoria wasn't in the general vicinity, so much to the point that Megatron had demanded Starscream tell him what the slag was wrong with his youngest trine mate.

Needless to say, it was pretty nerve-racking when Victoria assembled all of the mechs, Autobots and Decepticons, to the little table in the living room. She sat in front of them on the couch with a pensive stare that made Red Alert automatically duck behind Optimus and Bonecrusher to glare at her. "I have to leave for a while."

They stared at her for a moment before the most talkative burst into a cacophony of noise. Victoria just stared as Bluestreak started up with worried questions, Red Alert was starting to panic about being abandoned in the house alone, both sets of twins started pointing blame at each other, and Swoop started asking disjointed questions that seemed like repeats of Bluestreak. Starscream was screeching something that somehow offended Barricade, which started a fight between the two and immediately dragged the other two Seekers in to back up their brother. Really, the only ones who didn't seem bothered were Soundwave and Jazz. Even the animal-like Cassettes were antsy.

After a few minutes of nonstop talking—with no pause for Victoria to say anything, and Megatron suddenly challenging a confused Optimus—Victoria had had enough. "Quiet!"

The talking ceased and everyone looked up to see her slightly glaring at them. "I don't understand a bunch of jumbled noise. One at a time."

Wheeljack was the quickest. "But I thought you said I had a whole orbital cycle to get my, uh, thing ready," Wheeljack said, censoring the sensitive information after a glance at the Decepticons standing on the other side of the coffee table. He looked away when Soundwave turned towards him. "It isn't even near completion yet!"

"How are we going to survive here without you?" Red Alert interrupted before she could reply to Wheeljack, the beginning of his twitchiness not going unnoticed by Ratchet. "What if we run out of fuel? Or another organic breaks in? What if we get caught up in a territory feud between the mountain people and the village people?" He paused as some of his comrades sent him disbelieving looks. "You have to be prepared for everything!"

"Guys, guys!" Victoria said over their voices as each faction began to speak loudly amongst themselves again. "Listen!" Her loud voice managed to regain their attention, and she sighed as all optics focused on her. "I'll only be gone a day or two tops."

"Where exactly will you be going?" Optimus asked for them all. Megatron looked put out that the Autobot was speaking for him and crossed his tiny arms in annoyance.

"My boss absolutely insists that I come back to the office," Victoria said with an annoyed sigh. "There's some file he absolutely insists that I have, and since it isn't here with me, I have to go back and find it for them."

"Tell 'em to shove it and look for it themselves!" Rumble yelled from his spot beside Soundwave. Frenzy nodded from the other side of the Communications Officer. "They don't need our organic to do it."

Victoria seemed as if she couldn't decide whether to be flattered or offended by the statement. It either meant that they were beginning to accept her or they somehow thought they owned her. "If I did that, I would lose my job, and that's how I pay bills. If I don't lose my job, then I lose the month he has so _graciously_ awarded me. So either I'm gone for two days, or you guys lose me altogether."

"You are a hindrance anyway," Megatron growled up at her. Victoria glared back, but the Kreon still possessed the personality that caused many mechs to cower before him. "I swear by my power that once I am returned to my rightful body, I will rip your pathetic organic body apart and-"

Rumble and Frenzy began to loudly laugh while some of the Autobots hid their laughter behind their servos as the mini-Decepticon went tumbling over the edge of the table. Skywarp stepped back into line when he heard Megatron begin to roar from below and grinned. "It wasn't a staircase, but it was still pretty hilarious."

His grin fell when Victoria just sighed, and he pouted back into an exasperated Thundercracker and a gleeful Starscream, who was trying to peek over the edge to see if Megatron had been damaged in any way. Victoria ignored the Cassettes' laughter and Soundwave's attempts to make them stop in favor of focusing back on the Autobots. "I'll be leaving this afternoon around lunch since I'll have to drive two hours in order to reach my flight in time." She frowned as she looked towards the Decepticons, who seemed more interested in Megatron's curses from below. "Who wants to go with me?"

Several hands went up while others looked surprised. "You are allowing us to come with you?"

Victoria grimaced as she answered Mirage's question. "Actually, I'm attempting to keep the least amount of damage from happening to the cabin. I figured it would be better to have tag-a-longs than all of you stay behind, so the more the merrier."

Mirage nodded and was rudely shoved aside by a certain front-liner. "So we get to see more human stuff without getting in trouble?"

The Cassette twins got excited when the woman nodded in response to Sideswipe's question and even started jumping a little in place. "Maybe we'll see a car chase!"

"Or that big lizard that was on TV crushing all the buildings."

Victoria opened her mouth to inform Frenzy that Godzilla wasn't real, but Soundwave beat her to the punch. The telepath placed servo on each of their helms and gently pulled them back to stand beside him. "Rumble, Frenzy: remain here. Ravage: accompany host."

"Awe, but boss," Frenzy whined as Rumble ducked out from under his hand to stand beside his brother. "We know more about the humans than fun sucking Ravage."

Ravage gave the younger Cassettes a growl as Laserbeak gave as close to a snicker as a metal raptor could. Soundwave simply shook his head. "Decision: final. Ravage will go."

"One Decepticon," Victoria said, holding a finger up as Megatron glared up at her from beside her feet. "Who else?"

"Me!" Skywarp immediately said, leaping from the table to Victoria's lap. She jumped a little in surprise at his sudden need to sit on her but looked back at the other mechs with expectation.

The Twins were an automatic given as well as Bluestreak, but the only other Decepticon who seemed interested was Thundercracker, and he seemed to be more focused on Skywarp than anything. Not something she had been hoping for. Victoria wasn't lying when she told Mirage that she wanted as many of them to come as possible. If Wheeljack thought she was freaking out when they were only two hours away, imagine how terrible she would be nearly twelve hours away. But she couldn't take the mechs against their wills. One, she had to take a plane back to Florida. Why? Because she couldn't take the rental car out of the state, and it only took two hours to fly over Georgia as opposed to the twelve to thirteen hour drive through the state. Reason number two for not taking anyone who didn't want to go: they would create as much of a ruckus as possible. For instance, a forced Megatron would probably shoot at everyone they encountered. Need she say more?

"You guys figure out who's going," Victoria said as she noticed Optimus, Prowl, and Jazz huddled together at the corner of the table. "We'll be leaving as soon as I get my things together, so everyone who's going should be at the door when I'm ready to walk out."

"Will the ones who stay behind have a way to contact you?" Prowl asked before she could stand up.

The woman thought for a moment, perhaps realizing how many of them would possibly be left behind, and left the room for a minute before returning with the cordless phone. She set it on the table between the factions and showed them how to operate it before slowly punching in her cellphone's number. From her pocket came the sound of bells, and she took the phone out to cancel the call. "If you _really_ need me, then just do exactly as I just showed you. I won't be able to help much, but this is for emergencies…that are deemed emergencies by more than just Red Alert."

Red Alert frowned at her and turned away while Swoop attempted to redial her number on the house phone. He was shoved away as Rumble and Frenzy insisted the others watch the pros at work. Soundwave picked them up off the phone when a male voice came through the speaker. "Communications: handled by responsible mechs."

The Cassettes groaned but Victoria was nodding at Soundwave. "That's right. Optimus will be the one who handles the phone for the Autobots, and Soundwave will do it for the Decepticons. That way there's no fighting over who gets to do it."

Both masked Transformers nodded, and Victoria slowly scanned the mechs, starting on the far side of the table with Barricade and ending with Wheeljack. "For those who choose to stay behind: my rules are still active even if I'm not here. If I come back to find a destroyed house, I will find out exactly who did what and they will pay most painfully. And I'm not talking about a simple arm out of the socket. I'll go for something that's much harder to fix."

The Autobots nodded, not doubting that she would go through with her threat, but the Decepticons didn't look as cowed. Bonecrusher, who has standing further behind the groups, even scoffed at her. Megatron must have shared his sentiments because his disbelieving laugh could be heard as he left the room. Victoria didn't seem perturbed by their lack of fear and left to get everything she needed together, leaving all of the Autobots and Decepticons in the same room…alone…without supervision…and within five inches of each other.

"As soon as she's out, you Auto-losers are going down," Frenzy taunted with Rumble right beside him grinning. Laserbeak straightened her posture where she sat on Soundwave's arm while Ravage growled.

"Am I the only one not cowed by pee-wee's threats?" Wheeljack asked, ignoring how Ratchet sighed at his immaturity and the Cassettes' name calling.

"Starscream," Optimus said over the miniature spies' voices. "You are the highest ranking Decepticon officer here. At least attempt to keep the peace before a fight breaks out."

Starscream looked up at the Prime from where he stood flanked by his trine as he examined the tips of his blue fingers. "What was that? I wasn't even listening."

Optimus sighed as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe joined in against Prowl's orders to remain quiet. "There is no hope of remaining peaceful while Victoria is away, is there?"

**[~]**

"-and make sure you lock every door before you leave! Without you here, we can't open and close them, and I think it'll be best if everyone stays on the bottom floor. And we need to be able to reach the organic fuel if we need it. And don't forget-"

"Red Alert!" Victoria said while turning around to bend down to the SD's height. "I'm only going to be gone for two days. You're working yourself up for nothing."

"Nothing!" Red Alert reiterated in surprise. "Do you know how much could happen in those two days you're gone? The Decepticons are going to be more active than they have been since we arrived, and the last thing we need to worry about is whether there are enough cookies to survive!"

Victoria stared at the panting mech before sighing. "I need to introduce you guys to something other than cookies."

"Is that all you picked up from that?"

"Red Alert," she sighed again while trying to figure out a way to reassure the paranoid Cybertronian. "Optimus is going to be in charge, and I'm pretty sure he has enough experience behind him to keep everyone in line."

"But Megatron is too small!"

Victoria blinked at Red Alert's honestly worried face. "What?"

"Megatron is too small," he repeated. "How is Optimus supposed to fight him if he's so small?"

She sat down on the floor as her legs began to ache from crouching. "What does fighting Megatron have to do with anything?"

"It's what they do!" Red Alert lurched forward to hug her knee. "It's like some unwritten law that cannot be broken. Only Optimus can fight Megatron. Bad things happen to mechs who break that law!"

Red Alert's black servos clenched and unclenched in a twitchy rhythm that made Victoria shake her head. "Go find Ratchet. I think you're about to crash from all of this worry."

"I am not," he protested even as his vocals glitched. He paused to reboot them and looked up at her with wide optics. "What if he tries to take me apart for spare parts?"

"Okay," Victoria said, scooping Red Alert up into her hands. The SD immediately grabbed onto her thumb as she began to walk. "Off to Ratchet we go. He'll get you functioning good as new."

Red Alert emitted a groan when they finally entered the room. Swoop looked up from where he stood on the bottom shelf beside Ratchet, who was standing over Bluestreak as he laid on one of the book-beds. Bluestreak sat up when Red Alert was deposited onto the second book-bed. "What happened this time Red Alert? Drive your processor into a crash with your paranoia? Again."

The SD grunted and lay out on the book after much insistence from Swoop. "You call it paranoia, but I call it being prepared!"

"Me Swoop fix!" Swoop insisted as Ratchet turned around to examine the paranoid mech. "Me see you Ratchet fix all the time."

Ratchet nodded and turned back to Bluestreak, but he couldn't hide the small, proud smile that flitted across his faceplates. He briefly glanced up at Victoria before returning to fixing the leg that Bluestreak had somehow unaligned. "Wheeljack wanted to see you off, but the calling of that Dimension Bridge, as he has officially named it, became too much for him. He's been even more eager to complete it since you finished that little generator." He saw a happy flicker fly across Victoria's face before it vanished. "Optimus and Prowl should be at the door to see you off as well as Jazz and the Twins."

"You're not going Bluestreak?" Victoria asked as the little mech lay back down.

He looked a little upset as he answered. "I kinda fell off the cabinet wrong and popped my knee joint out of position. I still _really_ wanna go, but Ratchet's telling me that I can't go after doing that. I think he's stalling so that I don't think about sneaking out with you."

Victoria smiled slightly as the medic casually smacked his patient across the back of the helm. "Well, it's too bad you can't go with us. I'm sure you would have had fun."

Bluestreak just groaned dramatically as Victoria said goodbye to Ratchet, Swoop and Red Alert, who was trying to duck away from the Dinobot's servos, before sitting up to peer into the second shelf. Mirage sat on his couch, using an oversized iPad that she had found in her brother's studio last night while looking for a fax machine to peruse the internet, while Ironhide sat on a foldout chair close by, cleaning one of his guns. They both looked up at her. "You aint gone yet?"

The brunette rolled her eyes at Ironhide's gruff question. "No, but I'm leaving now. Behave for Optimus."

"I'll have you know, I aint no sparklin'," Ironhide protested even as a grin threatened to sprout up. "But tell them 'Cons that. They'll be tryin' to destroy the house the moment you leave."

"Have a safe journey," Mirage said with a polite tilt of his blue helm. Victoria thanked him, and he turned back to the tablet. She stood up and glanced at all of the mechs once more before leaving the room. She stopped in the hallway and looked at the door that led to the laundry room. It wouldn't hurt to peek in on the Decepticons one last time before she left.

It sounded like a party was going on behind the door when Victoria reached it. With one finger, she nudged the door open enough to peek in and tried not to laugh at the sight of Rumble and Frenzy using a pile of clothes for a landing pad as they jumped from the highest shelf bolted to the wall. Laserbeak would swoop down to carry the twin in the pile back up to the shelf before the next one had a chance to jump. Soundwave sat close to the clothes and was petting the feline Cassette that was laid out on his lap.

Victoria opened the door further and saw Bonecrusher hiding out in the dryer, most likely fixing it the way they had it before Victoria had so rudely taken everything out to dry some sheets four days ago. Starscream and Thundercracker sat on the washer, the former sending glares in the direction of the Decepticon leader, who lounged on the plush pile of a knitted blanket she had brought in there to clean.

"What are you doing femme?"

The femme in question let out a squawk and jumped away from the sudden voice behind her. She looked down to see Barricade glaring up at her. Obviously he had just returned from scouting and was wishing to enter the very room she had inadvertently blocked.

"Why are you insulting my optics with your presence, human?"

Victoria turned around again to see that Megatron had vacated his quilt and was glaring up at her. On the other machine, the Seekers had stood up as well but neither looked like they were about to jump in. From the sounds on the other side of room, it seemed like Rumble and Frenzy were continuing their new pastime. "I was just coming to threaten you one last time before I left since it seems like most of you will be staying."

Starscream snorted in an attempt not to snicker, but Megatron shot a glare at him anyway. "Threaten all you want, femme. You do not scare the mighty Megatron."

"You're more egotistical than I originally thought," Victoria said to herself, but the comment still managed to send Starscream into a laughing fit. "Whatever; just don't ruin the house."

"I will do whatever I please!" Megatron retorted, placing his curved hand on his hips in a stance of defiance. "Who will stop me? Optimus Prime? He hesitates to even lift a finger to me in this form!"

Victoria looked the toy up and down before taking a similar stance as him. "It isn't Optimus you should fear. I'm giving Wheeljack permission to bring out the big guns."

There was silence before Megatron let out a disbelieving snort. "That crack-pot inventor? He has not successfully created anything since we have been here."

"I warned you," Victoria said, crossing back to the other side of the room. She looked down at Soundwave and his cassettes as she passed. "If you see Wheeljack with a game controller, run like you have never run before."

Soundwave seemed intrigued by the warning as he tilted his head up at her. "Message received."

"You are a strange mech," she muttered under her breathe when she finally reached the door. "I've gotta get going, so if Ravage is coming, he better get to hoppin'." Soft clicks, like the sound claws would make against a linoleum floor, signaled that the feline followed behind her as she left the room.

The tiny group of mechs who had agreed to go with her as well as Optimus and Prowl were waiting patiently by the door when she arrived. Optimus watched as Victoria gathered the few bags she would be taking with her while the Twins and Skywarp fought over which bag they would occupy during the trip. "Have a safe journey."

"Please keep my house intact," she replied, pausing to allow Jazz to climb into her bathroom bag before gently tossing it over her shoulder. "Megatron is planning something, and I don't want it to end with a demolished cabin."

Optimus nodded while Prowl silently watched the Twins settle on the bag that held Victoria's computer. "You have my word that I will keep Megatron in line during you absence."

Victoria sighed while raking a hand through her raven hair. "Not that I don't trust you or anything, but just tell Wheeljack that I gave him permission to use…_It._"

"It?" Prowl asked, looking up at her with disbelief.

"Yes, It," Victoria repeated, opening the door but looking down at the little Autobots instead of outside. Jazz started to chuckle from where he was perched precariously on the woman's bag while Skywarp landed on her shoulder. "He'll understand when you tell him." She paused and looked over her shoulder. "Well, I guess I'll be going now."

Optimus gave her a tiny wave, but Prowl was too busy trying to wrap his processor around the fact that their host was giving Wheeljack permission to use one of his inventions. The leader watched her close the door before turning to his second, who looked as if he was slightly glitching if the flickering of his optics was to say anything. "Prowl, is there something wrong?"

"Did you not just hear what she said?" Prowl asked. "She gave Wheeljack _permission_ to use one of his inventions."

Optimus blinked. "It may be hard to believe, but is it worth glitching about?"

"It doesn't make any sense!" the SIC protested. "She's been against Wheeljack using his inventions in the house since the first one caught on fire. It doesn't even have a proper name!"

While Prowl fought to make sense of the sudden permission the engineer had been granted, Optimus sighed and turned around only to let out a sound of surprise when he found a jet standing right behind him. Thundercracker ignored the sudden gun that was drawn on him and instead subtly glanced behind the Prime, obviously looking for something. "Did she already leave?" Optimus nodded in surprise and slowly replaced his rifle while the Seeker sighed. "She'll have her servos full with Skywarp."

Optimus blinked at how calm the Seeker appeared despite just being face to face with the Autobot's gun. Thundercracker briefly glanced at him again before heading into the living room where the TV turned on seconds later. Well, apparently Thundercracker was going to take advantage of the television being free.

"What's up with Prowl?"

The Prime looked up once more to see Wheeljack standing in front of him this time. He looked over to see what the engineer spoke of and found Prowl managing his imminent crash by banging his helm against the wall. "…it's a new method that Ratchet has prescribed to curb the amount of crashes Prowl experiences."

"Really?" Wheeljack said, his fins flashing in surprise. "Ya know, that might actually explain why Ratchet whacks us so much in the helm." He looked around. "Guess I got too caught up in my work to notice the time. So Victoria's already left?"

"Yes," Optimus answered, looking over his shoulder more often now to make sure his SIC didn't accidentally cause permanent damage to himself. "But before she left, she asked that we tell you that you had permission to use…It."

Wheeljack's dark sapphire optics brightened in surprise along with his facial fins. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Seriously?"

"…yes."

"I get to use _It?"_

"…"

The engineer didn't require more assurance as he threw his arms into the air and took off down the hallway in the direction of their base. "I get to use It! All of our hard work will actually be put to use. Oh happy day!"

Optimus looked back at Prowl, who seemed to have given up and just crashed at Wheeljack's obvious joy of using whatever invention he had been given permission to use. He wondered how believable it would be for him to suffer from a crash of his own. He could use a vacation too. Because seriously, everyone knew that Prowl could control his crashes better than that.

**[~]**

The two hour plane trip was surprisingly pleasant considering the company Victoria had and her own dislike of flying. An added bonus was that it seemed like today was the one day no one wanted to travel on that particular flight, and their little group almost had an entire area to themselves. It was possible to keep Jazz in one place by allowing him to listen to her iPod, a device that he was disappointed about not discovering earlier. She had managed to find a movie that kept Sideswipe and Sunstreaker's attention, though their antsy twitching told her that she was lucky the flight ended when it did or she would be hunting down a pair of troublemakers.

The Decepticons were surprising: Skywarp would go between sitting in her lap quietly to staring out the window with a wistful gaze while Ravage didn't seem to enjoy the slight turbulence they experienced soon after takeoff. The robotic feline kept fidgeting and growling until Victoria started to calm him down by using a finger to pet the length of his back, and she was surprised when Jazz commented between songs that it looked like Ravage had fallen into recharge.

Thankfully it was quick and easy to find her small suitcase at the baggage claim, and they were walking out to the parking lot before anybot could get bored.

"What's taking so long?" Sideswipe complained after a while of Victoria walking aimlessly through the parking lot.

"I'm looking for my car," she answered, spotting what looked to be her car but turned out to be just a similar looking one. Why did everyone in the state of Florida have to have a car that looked like hers?

"Why didn't we just bring the one from the cabin?" Sunstreaker complained as the heat of Florida, a stark contrast to the freezing temperature they had grown used to, began to annoy him.

"I couldn't take the rental car out of state," Victoria explained as she finally found her car, a nondescript ten year old Honda model. The mechs jumped in the front while she threw her bags in the back seat. By the time she had settled into the driver's seat, Sideswipe had laid himself out in a dramatic pose on the passenger's side, Sunstreaker and Jazz were trying to turn on the AC, and Skywarp looked like he was trying to drive. Ravage had been smart and stalked into the back where the most shade could be found. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're dying from overheating!" Sideswipe groaned and shot up when the AC turned on. Sunstreaker growled when his brother took his vent. "Ah! That feels great."

Victoria shook her head as the mechs flocked to a vent; even Ravage climbed back to the front to hog some of the warm air. While they cooled down, she reached into her handbag and pulled out her makeup to do some touchups. As she was rolling on some lipstick, she heard a snort and didn't have to look down to know who was now standing on her thigh. "_What_ are you doing?"

"I'm getting myself ready now so I don't have to worry about it later," she answered, throwing the tube back into her bag and looking at the mirror to make sure she didn't look like a clown. "It's important that I look my best."

"I can tell you now that painting your face doesn't make you pretty."

Victoria didn't even look down as the swatted Sunstreaker off her leg with an added flick to the head to tell him how she felt about his remark. With him complaining, the car backed out of the parking spot and left the lot to merge with the other vehicles traveling around the airport. Victoria was used to being bored out of her mind while traveling through the heavy traffic that plagued the city she lived in. The Transformers, on the other hand, couldn't stand it. The Twins were constantly telling her to floor it, and when she finally explained that she couldn't, they settled for making faces at the cars around them (at least that's what Sideswipe did; Sunstreaker just sneered). Skywarp kept playing with the windows, a sullen air surrounding him, and she figured it must have had something to do with being so far away from the other Seekers. Apparently, Ravage was experiencing his own form of separation sadness because he curled up in her lap after a while, nudging her hand for pets. Jazz played with the radio the whole time, never stopping for long on one station and almost making everyone deaf when he came across one that had a singer screaming instead of properly singing.

Victoria had never before been so grateful to see her office building. She pulled into her usual parking spot and turned off the car, catching the window halfway down and cutting off the opera singer Jazz had been raptly listening to. "Okay, listen closely. When we get in there-"

"Be quiet, stay out of sight, and don't embarrass you," Sideswipe cut her off, ignoring the slight glare she sent him. "Did I miss anything?"

"If ya do somethin', don't get caught," Jazz added and grinned when the glare was transferred his way.

"Stay in my work area," Victoria said, but she knew it fell on deaf ears when the Autobots absentmindedly nodded while the Decepticons didn't even acknowledge her. She sighed and ordered them into her bag before getting out, keeping the bag closed as they entered the building.

When Victoria had first started working with the company, she had been excited even if her job at the time was a part-time secretary position. She had worked hard and eventually worked her way up from the bottom floor to about halfway up the ten floor building. And then she had gotten stuck. It wasn't that bad to begin with. The floor manager at the time was a pretty nice guy and with her degree in accounting, she was able to get a slightly higher pay than the other secretaries and eventually worked her way into an official accountant position.

Then the floor manager retired and was replaced by a new, younger man who wasn't nearly as bright as her previous superior. He was ruled by hormones, often paying more attention to a female's rear than what she was telling him. Victoria could still remember her naïve surprise when a young, new woman straight out of high school was given a position on their floor despite the fact that she had absolutely no idea of what she was doing.

Victoria also remembered clearly when she started receiving menial tasks that weren't part of her job description. Running papers from one end of the building to the other, fixing coffee for others, being sent out in the middle of the day to run errands that were completely unrelated to work—it was like being a secretary again! For a short time, she had been rightfully angry; she had spent her days as a secretary and should be respected with the position she now held. But she had kept her mouth shut. The company was big enough that one lone accountant being fired wouldn't even be a blip on their radar, and with the way the economy was, she wasn't going to risk her little higher than average wage. So she sucked it up and took each day as it came.

That was probably why she had been ordered back without a thought, and of course she came running.

Victoria sighed as she sat down at her desk and let the mechs climb out of her bag. Her tiny cubicle would keep them out of sight and there were enough oddities to keep them busy. At least, she hoped it would keep them occupied. "Alright, you guys just…find something to do while I get this done. I'll get us out of here as soon as possible."

"Ya sound like ya don't wanna be here," Jazz commented as he curiously picked up a staple puller.

"Trust me, I don't," she answered, pulling some files out of a cabinet to search through them. Skywarp walked up to her before immediately retreating back across the desk to mess with the stapler. She didn't notice the odd behavior as she nudged a slinking Ravage out of her way. The Twins, however, did, and the red one nudged his brother before they turned their attention back to scaling the tack board that hung on the wall of the cubicle.

Jazz strutted over with his usual rhythm and stood beside the folder she was currently rifling through. "So, what're ya lookin' for?"

"A bank statement," Victoria said absently, not even pausing to think that he might not know what that was. The search turned up empty, and she placed her head in her hands to think. "It's not here, so where could it be? The only other person with access…" She stood up and barely glanced at them as she left. "Stay out of sight."

Jazz waited a couple of klicks, and when the human didn't immediately return, he rubbed his servos together in anticipation and glanced up at Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, who were about halfway up the wall now and running out of tacks to climb. "Well, you four behave yourselves!"

"Wait!" Sideswipe yelled as he glanced over his shoulder to see Jazz jumping down the chair. "Where are you going? Vicky said to stay here."

"No, she said 'stay outta _sight_,'" Jazz quoted and grinned back up at them once he had reached the floor. "We all know how well Ah excel in dat subject."

Ravage growled as the saboteur swaggered out of the cubicle and jumped off the desk to slink in the opposite direction. That left the two front-liners and Seeker alone. Skywarp ignored the Autobots as he rifled through the expansive drawer full of pens, rubber bands, and other things he couldn't identify and didn't even notice when they stood behind him on the desk. "So…"

Skywarp turned his bright, suspicious optics to them. "What do you groundpounders want?"

"To help," Sideswipe said in a somewhat sincere tone as Sunstreaker just glared. The glare was more directed at his brother as the other mech decided to use his shoulder as a prop to casually lean upon. "We hear you have your optics on a femme of the squishy persuasion."

The Seeker glanced between the two, optics darkening as his suspicions grew. "So?"

"Well, we couldn't help but notice how terrible your attempts at courting were." Skywarp's wings tensed in offense. "And because it's so pathetic, we thought we might be able to lend our assistance."

"What do you punks know about courting a femme?" Skywarp asked, miffed at how blatantly they pointed out his mistakes and only a little curious to hear what they had to say.

The Twins shared a look, one that made Skywarp tense more because it was the same look Rumble and Frenzy often shared before they pulled some prank that had Starscream screeching from one end of the base to the other. "Well, we know for sure that human femmes like to be bossed around."

"And told how stupid they are."

"They hate it when guys are polite to them-"

"-and like it better when they're completely ignored."

"You're right Sunny; they do seem more interested in the one's that don't even notice they're there."

"Don't call me that."

Skywarp looked between the two brothers as they stared back at him expectantly. The Seeker knew that he wasn't very knowledgeable on the subject of organic femmes, but something was a little fishy about this new information. The ignoring may have been right; after all Skywarp watched the same movies as the Autobots had, and that seemed to be a characteristic that both organic femmes and mechs shared. But the other stuff—Victoria wasn't one to be bossed around, something he knew from the few occasions when Megatron and the woman butted heads. And why would anyone want to be called stupid?

The Seeker glared at the yellow and red mechs before launching into the air. "If you half-wits think I'm dumb enough to believe you, think again! You're just trying to make her hate me so that dumb brat can have her. Well I'm not falling for it! I'll figure out how to woo her on my own."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker watched the jet fly out, staying high above the humans' heads to remain unnoticed. Sunstreaker turned to his brother. "I thought you said he was the dumb one."

**[~]**

Jazz merrily bounced to the soft music playing in the elevator. It wasn't as good as some of the stuff he had heard, but during his short time on Earth, he had learned that there really wasn't any music that he _didn't_ like. Humans had such a wide variety of it, and it was a collection that rivaled, and most of the time exceeded, the music from back home.

Speaking of Cybertron, Jazz was intrigued to see that despite the differences between their species, humans and Cybertronians were more alike than any of them may have realized. With the help of television from the cabin, he had discovered a variety of human entertainment that was similar to the kind back on Cybertron. There was also a caste system similar to theirs before the war in place on Earth. Though, it didn't seem as dire because Jazz had overheard two humans talking about changing their occupations. At least they still had the choice. The species as a whole also seemed to suffer from some of the same problems Cybertron had before the war. But humans were a young species, as Optimus had once thoughtfully pointed out when Mirage was complaining about something vulgar on the TV. Hopefully they would learn how to rectify those problems before it got to the point it had on their planet.

The doors in front of him dinged open, and he hugged the wall to keep from getting stepped on until he saw a chance to duck out. Wheeljack had been very accurate when he said humans rarely looked down. Then again, Jazz had rarely looked down either before ending up here. That was certainly something to think about when they got back home.

But Jazz was getting distracted. The whole point of coming with Victoria was to be able to observe how she acted in a familiar environment. It may not have seemed like it, but Jazz was a pretty cautious mech—always had been despite his friendly nature—and very few people automatically received his trust. He wanted to be absolutely sure of who Victoria was before he completely trusted her. But it was difficult since the place they were staying at had nothing personal to search through, nothing from before Victoria and her brother's separation. He had done his research on Eric, her deceased brother, and figured if she was anything like him, then she could probably be a useful ally.

But Victoria was being a particularly stubborn person for him to read. After finding out that the cabin didn't belong to her, Jazz had secretly gone through what little possessions she had brought with her, but that only told him that she was someone who liked to be prepared. His observations helped a little, but not as much as he would have wanted. She was a person who didn't automatically choose sides and actually had the guts to stand alone, something he hadn't seen for a while. She also seemed to prefer the younger mechs too, as opposed to the more mature ones like Prowl or Optimus who seemed to act more like her. Other than that, she was a very closed off person, only dropping hints about things, and those hints were never truly important. Jazz wanted to trust her, but he just needed a little more to convince him.

The mech busied himself by searching for the human he had come with. As much as Jazz liked to brag about his skills, he was pretty ashamed to say that Victoria had completely lost him. He never realized how similar humans looked until he had mistaken an organic mech for his host, as embarrassing as that was. Dude _really_ needed a haircut…

What could be more embarrassing than that? Why, having a mechling grab him without even noticing the other's appearance.

"Cool!" the child exclaimed as he swung the saboteur around in the air. Jazz froze as the little boy looked directly at him. "Awe, you don't look like the one from the movie. He's got fire on him!"

The child reached down and twisted Jazz's arm in a way that caused the mech to instinctively wince at the sudden pain. "Hey, hey, hey! That don't twist dat way!"

The boy gasped in surprise, and Jazz would have fallen back to the ground if he hadn't latched onto a finger at the last second. "You can talk?"

"'Course Ah can," Jazz answered with his signature grin plastered on his face. "Name's Jazz. What's yours li'l man?"

"I'm not little,' the boy said automatically as he carefully put the mech back on his feet. "I'm five years old! And my name's Damien."

"Nice ta meet ya Damien," Jazz said playfully while holding out a servo. Damien hesitated before holding out a finger to shake. "So, what's da deal with you, man? Ah didn't think a kid like you would be workin' in a place like this."

"I'm not a kid," was the automatic answer that made Jazz's grin widen. "And I don't work here. My mama takes me to the daycare downstairs after I get out of school 'cause it's free."

"So whatcha doin' up here?" Jazz asked as he sat cross-legged. Damien did the same, his short height allowing him to fit perfectly beneath the desk they hid under as the adults continued working around them. "This looks like da floor they do advertisin' on, not younglin' sittin'."

"They say PR a lot," Damien supplied as he peeked out from their hiding spot. "I like this one a lot better than the others 'cause everyone here's too busy to notice me. What're you doing here?"

"Ah'm lookin' fo' a friend. Can ya help?"

Damien eagerly nodded, and Jazz's grin just got bigger. Sparklings and younglings were some of the few he trusted right off the bat.

**[~]**

Those two annoying, over confident, egotistical Autoboobs thought they could pull a fast one over him? Well not today! Skywarp was going to figure out how to make Victoria his if it was the last thing he did. Now…all he had to do was stop pouting on the top of a random cubicle and actually figure out what organic femmes liked…

"Knock, Knock."

Skywarp looked down as the femme below him squealed and abandoned her work to jump on the mech that had appeared in the opening of her cubicle. He sneered at the wet noises their mouths made together before they had the decency to separate. "What are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to a job interview right now."

"Well I was, but I decided to stop by and surprise you." He grinned and pulled out a bundle of colorful things from behind his back. "Surprise!"

The femme gave another high-pitched squeal that made Skywarp lose his balance as he attempted to save his audials. By the time he managed to drag himself back up to his seat, the femme and mech were back to eating each other after the bundle of whatever had been haphazardly thrown onto the desk. They separated once more as a sly smile graced the femme's lips, and she tugged the mech out of the cubicle by his tie.

Skywarp may not have known how to court organics, but looks like _that_ were universal, and that organic mech would be getting very—_ahem_—"lucky" soon. And all because he had bought the femme some colors…

…wait a minute!

With a giddy feeling blooming in his chassis, Skywarp floated down to the desk to stand beside the stuff that the mech had brought. He walked around it, looking at it from different angles, before stopping beside what looked like an orange puffball. The stuff was too big to carry back to Victoria, so he would have to choose carefully. The pink thing was definitely out. Even if he didn't know that Victoria couldn't stand the color, he wouldn't be caught dead carrying it around. The green stuff was too flat to his liking, and –hello!

The Seeker grinned and reached up to grab the purple fluffball-like thing. It was perfect because it was reminiscent of the purple that accented his frame. That way whenever she saw it, she would think of him!

His wonderful discovery in hand, Skywarp vaulted off the desk and above the heads of the humans. He didn't realize it until he was twisting around the air, searching for the right cubicle.

Skywarp had gone and gotten himself completely lost.

**[~]**

Victoria felt the urge to scream as she stood in her manager's office alone. After searching the whole floor for that _damned bank statement_ and finding out that the one other person with access to her files had given the particular folder to the man, Victoria had backtracked to the side of the floor that held his office. He had acted so surprised at seeing her (and disappointed that she was dressed head to toe in the clothes she had bought in Tennessee) that she had barely been able to contain the deadly glare she had wanted to send him. After _nicely_ informing him that the document he had so desperately needed her to return to find was currently sitting on his desk, he had flat out denied possession of it and had actually _reprimanded_—reprimanded!—her for blaming him for her mistakes. And then he had quickly left the room to chase the skirt that passed by his open door.

Victoria gritted her teeth and ended up slamming her fist on the desk to vent her anger. She had wasted nearly two hundred dollars to fly back here, money that she had intended to use on the trip back when her month leave was up, left two factions of warring aliens back at the cabin with a leader that hated her guts and an engineer who blew up nearly half his creations, and wasted two days (because she didn't have the money to take _another _plane trip back to the cabin) to be told that it was _her_ fault that the idiot couldn't keep track of a simple folder? She felt the urge to break something and picked up the expensive looking knickknack to toss across the room.

And lo and behold! There was the folder, sitting mockingly on the edge of the desk. The woman gently placed the trinket down and flipped the folder open. The bank statement was the first on top, and what do you know, there was the copy that her coworker had said she made!

…

The desk ornament was thrown onto the floor on the other side of the desk, where it landed with a loud thud but didn't shatter like Victoria had hoped. She viciously glared at the unbroken thing and blinked when an amused purr reached her ears. Searching the ground and not finding the Cybertronian feline, Victoria looked to the side and found Ravage sitting on the edge of the desk beside her, looking up at her with a somewhat amused glint in his optics. It was a surprise since Victoria had never seen that kind of look on the Cassette and thought he was as emotionless as Soundwave.

"I was angry," Victoria said as if to justify her action. Ravage gave a snort-like sound and stood to stretch like any other feline she had seen. "What, you've never been mad enough to shred something?"

Ravage simply flicked his tail in the direction of the door before stepping on her hand. She carefully twisted it around for the feline to sit in the palm of her hand and couldn't help but think that before today the dark cat had avoided her like the plague since their first meeting. Between the time they had left the cabin and now, Ravage had apparently changed his opinion about her.

"_Well, maybe a little,"_ she thought, flinching as claws impatiently dug into her skin. Ignoring his insistence, Victoria reached across the desk for a sticky note and pen, sticking the paper to the bank statement and writing in big letters so that it would be seen before placing it in the middle of the cluttered desk. Then she "accidentally" dropped the pen on the floor because she felt like it and hoped that it was his favorite so that it would be missed.

"Now, what were you doing in here?" Victoria asked quietly as they exited the office. She looked around to see if anyone was close by, but it seemed as if the majority of the floor had already left for the day. "I expected to find Jazz following me, not you." Ravage growled as he majestically lay on her hand, settling his head on one of his paws. "So he went off somewhere too."

They passed the elevator as the door was opening for the people huddled around it to get in. There was a shout behind them, as they had already passed the group by now, before a little voice shouted, "Wait!"

Victoria automatically stopped to turn and see what the commotion was about, but her eyes widened at the sight of a little, dark skinned boy running towards. Her eyes widened even more when she saw Jazz riding on the collar of the boy's shirt. The child stopped in front of her, panting from the short distance he had ran, and looked down at the mech dangling halfway out of his shirt. "Is this your friend?"

"Sure is!" Jazz said with an easy smile as his new friend carefully pulled him out. "Thanks li'l man. Might not 'ave ever found 'er without ya."

"I'm not little," the boy said, and it brought a smile to Victoria's face at how serious that one little statement had come out. He looked up at her shyly before hugging Jazz closer to his chest. "Can I keep him, _please?_"

Victoria knelt in front of him after encouraging Ravage to stand on her shoulder and looked him right in the eye before he shyly ducked his head back down. "Jazz doesn't belong to me. He's his own person just like me and you, and he has to get back to his friends before they start missing him."

The child looked at her with big dark eyes that instantly stole her heart and almost made her hug him. "Can he come back to play with me? He's a lot funner than those people down at the daycare."

The raven haired woman bit her lip, hating that she would have to tell him no, when Jazz got the kid's attention by tugging on his shirt. "Sorry Damien, but Ah don't think Ah'll be comin' back. Taday was a one-time deal."

Damien looked like he wanted to cry, and Victoria made the decision to grab his hand and gently tug him back in the direction of the elevator, despite the logical side of her that told her to get back to her cubicle _now._ "Why don't we go to the break room and get a snack? That way you and Jazz can have some more time to play before he has to leave."

Damien's tears dried up as he brightly smiled and followed her to the elevator, talking to Jazz about how he had figured out how to sneak snacks out of the machines without paying. Before Jazz could say anything, Victoria was gently chiding the child for stealing, making Ravage release another of his snorting sounds as he curled around her neck and Jazz to stare at her with a thoughtful gleam in his visor.

**[~]**

"You answer it."

"No, you do it."

"What would I say?"

"Just stop that annoying noise!"

"…Hello, you have reached AHAGP, Alien-Human Alliance for Galactic Peace. This is liaison Sideswipe speaking. How can I help you?" Sideswipe stared at the speaker end of the phone as there was click before it began to emit a monotonous tone. "They hung up. How rude!"

Sunstreaker simply snorted as he moved the piece of graphite he had snapped off a pencil across the small piece of paper. It was starting to run out, but if he could just get this last part shaded… "Sideswipe, shut that thing up!"

His brother ignored him and instead started pressing the numbers on the base. The droning noise stopped as the phone began to ring. "Cool…who am I calling?"

The artist shook his head as a string of rapid gibberish came out of the phone's speaker. Sideswipe ignored him and moved to the mouthpiece to reply, somehow managing to string together a sentence using the language they had picked up from watching the human soap operas that Red Alert liked watch when he wasn't being too paranoid. With his brother actually managing to keep up a conversation, albeit a stilted one at best, Sunstreaker looked back down at his sketch and added a line here and a shaded area there before pulling it off the desk to join the other drawings he had created and were hanging off the edge of the desk. He couldn't see it very clearly from where he stood, but when he bent over he could see that his line of Mini-Bots, ranging from the ever pessimistic Huffer to enthusiastic Bumblebee leading the pack, made a good picture when the individual sticky notes were lined up appropriately.

Sunstreaker looked down at his abandoned piece of graphite and frowned at how tiny it had become. Well, time to find a new drawing tool. Maybe he could use that white stuff that looked like paint… He glanced at his brother as he crossed the desk and rolled his optics when he saw Sideswipe dialing another random number. If only he had found that pastime earlier, Sunstreaker would probably have more sticky notes to use. He'd just have to use the grid on the desk that had numbers in the corner of each box and amateur doodles around the edges.

"-just ignored me!"

Sunstreaker paused in his effort to take the cap off the white paint as a scandalized voice reached him. Looking back at his brother and finding him counting his fingers as he spoke into the phone, the artist climbed up the tacks they had found earlier and had rearranged to reach the top of the wall until he was able to peek over the very edge. Beyond the wall stood two femmes with a similar build to Victoria, but Sunstreaker narrowed his optics at the one with blonde hair that strangely reminded him of Tracks and the one standing beside her who had horrible taste in colors.

Miss Colorblind snickered as the blonde pressed a button on the machine they stood in front of, and Sunstreaker seriously wondered why he had climbed the wall to see them. "That's exactly what she did to me! Gosh, she acts as if she's _so_ much better than us."

The blonde gave a dainty snort and turned to lean against the machine as it spat out papers from one end. "I for one think that she's-" She paused to look around the area, as if she didn't want to be heard. Sunstreaker could tell that she was actually hoping for others to be around to hear. "I think she's sleeping around _upstairs._"

"No!"

"_Yes_."

Miss I-Have-No-Taste looked scandalized despite the lecherous smile she tried to keep off her face. "That would _completely_ explain why she's always going up there. Or why she's constantly called back to Jeff's office."

"How else is she getting more pay than us?" Femme-Tracks asked, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. "I never see Victoria doing her job."

Sunstreaker perked up at the name of the human he was staying with. So they were talking about her and inferring that she was interfacing with her superiors, which he highly doubted for the simple fact that she was too much of a prude to even listen to the interfacing scenes from the movies they watched. The front-liner couldn't help but feel mildly offended by the comment even if it wasn't directed to him. It reminded him of the time when he and Sideswipe had first joined the Autobots and someone, they never did find out who, had started the rumor that they were shacking up with the high ranked officers of their division. _Together._ It wasn't long after that they had been dumped on Optimus but not before leaving behind some dented helms.

Maybe it was because of the reminder of how upset Sideswipe had been to learn about the rumors, or how angry he had been when one of the Autobots he had learned to trust had come to him with a blatant proposal of interfacing, like he was one of the pleasure-bots they had always seen on the corners of Kaon's streets. Whatever it was, something had Sunstreaker jumping off the wall to quickly gather a bunch of rubber bands. He glanced once at his brother, finding him yelling into the phone now and wildly gesturing as if the person he was speaking to could see him, before jumping down the chair and walking around the wall that separated them and the femmes. They were still standing there, on a different subject now, and Sunstreaker kept an eye on them as he tied the rubber bands together.

"_Jeez, they talk a lot,"_ he randomly thought as he finished his makeshift rope and edged towards them. They didn't notice as they giggled, and Sunstreaker couldn't resist the urge to snarkily mimic them as he wrapped the rubber bands around the blonde's ankles. He paused and looked at her friend's ugly red shoes, glancing down at the rest of the rubber bands in his hands. With a shrug, he crossed over to wrap it around her ankles too.

Sunstreaker looked at his handy work and, with an air of pride, strutted back to the cubicle. Sideswipe looked up as he sat on the button to cut off the angry sounding femme on the other side of the phone. "What do you feel so smug about?"

The artist's smirk just grew as a shout and squeal came from over the wall, followed by a loud thud and curses. Just to make it sweeter an "Are you alright?" could be heard over the curses and squeals. How ironic that the very person that they had been speaking so rudely about was the one to show up and help.

Sunstreaker was sitting smugly on the edge of the desk when Victoria turned into her work area, with Ravage practically wrapped around her neck and Jazz hanging out of her halfway zipped jacket. She took one look at him, her eyes darting in the general direction of her coworkers' curses, before looking down at the sticky notes marching along her desk. "Wow, you're as good as my brother." The artist got the feeling that she had just given him the highest amount of praise she ever would and naturally puffed up like a strutting peacock as she looked up at Sideswipe, who was trying his hardest to get the phone back on the cradle. "Who have you been calling?"

The front-liner froze and slowly backed away. "No one."

She gave him a blank stare, sort of how Prowl stared at them when he knew they were up to something even as they denied it, but looked away as something else caught her attention. "Where's Skywarp?"

The Twins shared a look. They had completely forgotten about the AWOL Seeker. "Uh, he…went on an Energon break?"

Jazz snickered from where he lazily hung from her jacket, but Victoria didn't look amused at all. "Did you two run him off?"

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe glanced to each other before pointing at each other. "He did it."

Victoria shook her head and reached up for Ravage to cross to her hand to be deposited on the desk. "Which way did he go?"

Fortunately, neither had to admit that they had no idea. However, they did have to jump away as the jet suddenly appeared between them. "Ha ha! I knew I would find my way back!" He glared as he noticed the Autobots standing so close to him but ignored them when he also noticed Victoria standing in front of him. "Here!"

The Autobots stared in confusion as the jet shoved a purple thing towards her, pieces of it fluttering to the floor. Victoria blinked with honest surprise and a bright smile spread across her face as she reached out to take the flower. "That's really sweet of you Skywarp. No one has ever given me a flower before."

Skywarp puffed up as the flower exchanged hands and was playfully placed behind her ear. Jazz commented on how pretty it looked against her dark hair, and she smiled even more. None of the mechs wanted to admit it but that flower Skywarp gave her was probably the only thing that kept them out of trouble for wondering off. And for the fifty pizzas that Sideswipe had ordered and were waiting down in the lobby with an angry delivery man fighting with the equally angered receptionist as they left.

**[~]**

Optimus skidded to a stop, Bluestreak running into him and falling backwards as the Prime stared up at the ringing phone. He looked back at Prowl, who had been covering the rear, and realized that the phone ringing had actually ceased all activity in the room. So Optimus took the lull in activity to climb up the coffee table and stood beside Soundwave as he answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey Optimus," Victoria's voice came through the speaker, and the rest of the mechs in the room sort of huddled around the bottom of the table. "I was just checking up on you guys. Do I need to do roll call to make sure everyone's still alive?"

The leader actually took the time to count off his troops before answering her. "No, we are…fine."

"Is the cabin still intact?"

Ratchet let out a coughing sound from below, and he looked down to see him standing beside Ironhide, who was fiddling with his rifle. "Of course."

"Uh huh," was her disbelieving answer. There was noise in the background and the phone was moved away since her voice was faint in response to the noise. But what came over clear was Sideswipe yelling, "You guys are _so_ dead!" There was a yowl that immediately made Soundwave tense and the twins in the cabin to join them on the table. "Get back you crazed cat!"

"Uh, Ravage is trying to kill Sideswipe now and—Jazz don't you dare turn that radio on again! Where was I? We'll be home sometime around noon tomorrow, so you have tonight and tomorrow morning to fix whatever you've broken."

Soundwave tilted his helm at the subtle threat, and the twins stuck their glossa out at the phone. Optimus simply nodded and said, "Everything will be as it was before you left. Have a safe trip."

"Thanks. Bye to whoever's listening!" Skywarp could be heard yelling bye too before Sideswipe yelped in the background while his brother laughed. The phone clicked off and silence covered the room.

There was a groan. "We're dead!"

"You Autobots are pathetic," Bonecrusher spat before tripping over an invisible Mirage.

"Me Swoop and Blue no dead," Swoop said as Thundercracker invaded his aerial space. He landed beside Ratchet as the medic kept an eye on the worried Red Alert.

"And how are you two escaping punishment?" Red Alert asked suspiciously.

"We cute!"

Optimus shook his head and turned to acknowledge Soundwave, who still stood on the table with him, when he was shot at from behind. He whipped around to see Megatron aiming his cannon for another shot. "Enough talk! Get down here and face me!"

Optimus sighed as the fighting began to breakout again. Then there was a loud pop from the hallway where Wheeljack was putting some last minute touches on "It." The Prime had a bad feeling that the cabin wouldn't exactly be clean when Victoria returned tomorrow.

**[~]**

Later that night, Jazz came out of his recharge to find a black servo in his face. "Wha' da pit?" he said groggily while shoving the servo back to its owner. Skywarp rolled over to the edge of the bed. "When'd you get there?"

"No Starscream," Skywarp mumbled in his sleep. "Those are my sparkly cookies! Go ask TC to make you some."

Jazz stared at him before shrugging. "Everybody knew 'e was screwy."

The TIC stood up on the mattress and located the twins lying back to back up on the pillow, but the place where Victoria should have been was empty, which explained how Skywarp had managed to roll away from the curled up Ravage and over to their side. He looked around the dark room until he finally located her staring out the window not far from the bed. With a hop from the bed to the nightstand, and then another from the stand to the windowsill, he stared down at the brightly lit streets below with his hands propped on his hips. "Thought ya said dat human's needed lots o' sleep."

Victoria looked down at him before returning her gaze to the busy street. "I thought I'd try out being an insomniac."

"As long as ya don' go crazy like Red Alert, ya can 'ave as much insomnia as ya want. Whatever that is."

A small smile flitted across her face before it disappeared. Jazz stood staring out the window waiting for her to start. In his opinion, it was better for the person with the problem to start first, and the human they were staying with had had a problem since they came to the city. It showed in the stiff way she had carried herself, even more while they had been at her job. Maybe this was what Jazz had felt like she was hiding.

"I hate my life," Victoria said simply, and Jazz looked up at her to continue.

When she didn't, he shrugged. "Sounds like ya might be exagerattin' a bit there."

She shook her head. "I don't think so. In fact I probably didn't exaggerate it enough. I absolutely loathe my life."

"Uh," Jazz stumbled, for once in his life at a loss for words.

Victoria didn't need any encouraging now that she had gotten started. "And what's worse is that I never acknowledged it until my brother died and I was forced to go up to Tennessee. How sad is that? It took my brother's _death_ for me to realize that I hated the way my life had turned out. I had been so focused on finding ways to never get hurt like I was when he abandoned me that I locked everything away. I didn't let anyone in. I never even realized how far I had pushed my _dad_ away. His visit a day ago? That was the first time I'd seen him since I moved out seven years ago. I didn't even attend his wedding to my stepmother." She stopped to let out a bitter laugh. "I've only met her once, and he told me during his visit that she prays for me every day."

The woman gestured down at the city, and Jazz had to sidle over when her hand came close to knocking him down. "I hate this city. I hate the weather down here. I hate my job. I can't stand my perverted boss. I can't even get on friendly terms with my co-workers because we have _absolutely_ _nothing_ in common. They may not know it, but I've heard what they say about me when they think I'm not around." She paused, and Jazz knew better than to say anything. "I forgot how much I loved doing things with my hands. I've been trying to help Wheeljack the last few days and didn't even realize how much fun I was having until a day ago when I went to show off the electric generator I had made for him." She sighed at the remembrance of how proud she had been to show Wheeljack the elementary level project she had made, not even fazed at the time by how mediocre it looked sitting beside the complicated looking device that Wheeljack was working on.

Jazz shifted and grinned up at her. "Maybe ya should've realized how fun it was when 'Jack was runnin' 'round the house makin' all the appliances into things you'd see in a horror movie. Could've saved us all da hassle o' cleanin' up after him."

Victoria grinned back before sighing and allowing her previous gloom to fall back over her, though it wasn't nearly as heavy as before. "I'm just a little confused right now, and I don't mean to dump it on you. You just happen to be the only one awake right now, and I'm in a talking mood."

Jazz just shrugged as he stared thoughtfully up at her. "Hey, sometimes a person's gotta just let it out, ya know?"

Victoria bit her bottom lip as she watched one car cut off another in the streets below. "I guess you're right. It's just a little weird after being alone for so long."

Something suddenly clicked, and Jazz was looking back at Victoria's actions in a whole new light. No wonder she wasn't one talk. From the sounds of it, she hadn't had anyone close to even talk to for a while. And while staying neutral seemed like a wise decision while standing between two fighting parties, she was using it as more of way to keep herself from getting hurt. Victoria was as trustful with new people as he was, which explained why it had taken her breakdown to even tell Bluestreak anything personal.

Victoria looked down at where he stood staring out the window as the cut off resulted in a fender-bender. The two drivers stood beside their cars yelling at each other. "Maybe I just need to find a new start. I'll figure it out after we get you guys home."

The mech walked closer to the window to get a clearer view, choosing not to comment and instead starting a new conversation. "Why'd that dude even get in dat lane?"

"If you live here long enough you learn that there is no reason for what people in the city do."

"Huh," was Jazz's only response as both continued to watch the escalating argument until the police showed up to take care of the situation. One of the disgruntled drivers took a swing at an officer and was immediately put into handcuffs and the back of a squad car. The other driver was calmly speaking to the second officer. "I find da city to be more entertainin'."

"It wears off after you witness the first dozen fender-benders."

"My cookies!" Jazz and Victoria looked over at the bed as there was a thud and watched as Skywarp walked around from the side of the bed he had fallen off of, rubbing his helm. He spotted the two staring at him from the window and paused. "What? I fell off the bed. What are you two doing over there? On a moonlit date or something?"

Snorts came from the bed where the Twins were still "sleeping." A dramatic coughing was used to cover them up, and the two settled back down. Victoria rolled her eyes at the two who faked recharge and the Decepticon standing beside the bed trying not to look jealous. She held out her hand to allow Jazz to jump on it and get a free ride back to bed. "Don't get jealous Skywarp."

The purple seeker frowned at how obvious his jealousy was and tried to cover it as he hovered back up to the top of the bed where he settled back beside a disgruntled Ravage, who bared his sharp canines at being awakened. "Like I'd even be interested. You know what? I wouldn't even be interested if you were a seeker femme! And you'd be all sparkbroken."

"Um hmm," Victoria hummed as she turned on her side to face a pair of cackling twins and Jazz. "If I was the last girl Seeker, I think I'd be more interested in Thundercracker. He seems to be the only sane jet."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker started another round of laughter as Skywarp gasped in offense. "TC? TC! I'm way more interesting than TC. You obviously have no taste." He turned his back to her just as she had done to him, falling into a more teasing mood than a jealous one as he had seen her back shake in silent laughter. "You know what? Don't talk to me for the rest of the night."

She smiled while watching the twins try to calm down and Jazz smile from where he had settled down higher up on the pillow. "Good night Skywarp~"

"No talking!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Longest stinking chapter I have ever written and I only reread it once, so if there happens to be more mistakes than usual, sorry. I just didn't have the time to sit down and read it again. Meh, anyways there's the trip to Florida; it wasn't very exciting, but there's more stuff about Victoria, and Skywarp is getting pretty serious about this courting thing ;D Now what have the mechs left behind been doing this entire time? (Fighting of course, but I'm sure you all know that)

Until next Saturday :D

**EDITED: 3/13/14 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	14. When the Human's Away

_Vorn: 83 years  
>Joor: ~ 1 hour<br>Nano-klick (klick): ~1 second  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>

"_Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

**Warning: **Strong language

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Thirteen

When the Human's Away, the Mechs will, uh...

* * *

><p><strong>Day 16<strong>

There had been a point (she wasn't quite sure _when_ that point had been) where Victoria had become used to the sounds of bangs, clangs, and yells of tiny mechs. So it wasn't such a big deal when one of them started up in the living room of her apartment while she was in the bathroom getting ready for the long drive back to the cabin. She didn't even pause in straightening her hair when Sideswipe ran into the bathroom. "Vicky, make this cat leave me alone!"

Victoria glanced down as she ran her brush through her hair, deciding that the right side just wasn't straight enough. Sideswipe let out a growl as Ravage stalked into the room. "This is your problem. Either apologize or find another way to deal with it." She noticed him reach for his gun and pointed her straighter down at him. "_Without_ killing Ravage."

Sideswipe gave another angered growl, one that could easily rival one of Sunstreaker's daily growls, and the woman chose to ignore them to finish her hair. She was vaguely aware of the sound of shuffling, more muffled growls from both Transformers, and finally the random tugging on the wire of her hair appliance. It wasn't until the random pulls turned into a steady weight that she looked down to see Ravage lounging in a dip of the cord, chewing on the part of cable that was in front of him. Sideswipe glared from the doorway as she bent down to grasp the feline. "This is why I like kitties: they look so darn cute when they do stuff like this."

"You threw him across the room when you first met!" Sideswipe said, incredulous as she petted the oldest of the Cassettes with a gentle finger.

"And he's never attacked me again," Victoria explained with little care as Ravage arched into the petting and let out a mechanical purr. "I do it for all of my cats. It's way less expensive than declawing them."

The red front-liner shook his head and left the doorway, muttering something about "crazy femmes" as he went. Victoria ignored him as Ravage attempted to wrap around her neck, and she wrapped up the hair straighter. A quick look in the mirror, flick of a hair, and throwing the appliance in her bag, and she was done. With bag in hand and cat on her shoulder, she left the bathroom and reentered her small bedroom. It was dark, only the faint lights from the streetlamps outside lighting a small patch around the window, but it was easy to locate the mechs in the room. Their optics were amazingly bright in the dark.

"Why we gotta leave so early?" Jazz complained from where he was still laid out on the pillows. At some point after Victoria had left the bed, Jazz had rolled over into her spot, attracted by the heat she had left behind. "S'not even ligh' out."

"The earlier we leave, the less traffic we get stuck in," the woman explained, bouncing down onto the bed to pull on her shoes. The bounce merely made the saboteur listlessly roll down the pillow and into the blankets below. Sunstreaker, who had been sitting on the edge of the bed, seemed offended that she dare bounce him. "The less traffic we're stuck in, the faster we can get back to the others."

Jazz's response was muffled by the blankets, but it sounded suspiciously like "don' wanna." Victoria rolled her eyes and jerked the blanket back to see the little Autobot face down in the mattress and on the verge of recharge. "Since when have you been so lazy?"

"Ah'm naturally lazy," Jazz answered, muffled by the mattress. "Ah bask in da chance ta be lazy. Ask Prowler; it's why Ah don't do paperwork."

The brunette just shook her head in exasperation and stood up to grab her things. "Come on. I'll let you be in control of the radio the whole way home."

It was amazing how fast he could be when he really wanted, especially after claiming he was supposedly "naturally lazy." Jazz was up and off the bed before any of them could react and out the door just as quickly. In fact, Victoria didn't even notice he had left until he stuck his head back around the door. "Well, what's da hold up? We gotta get on da road!"

Ravage growled, reminding her that he was still on her shoulder, while the Twins hurried out the door to join Jazz. Victoria smiled a bit at the loud sounds they managed to make on their way to the front door. Before she left the room to join them, she grabbed the flower that Skywarp had given her the day before and placed it in the collar of her shirt. The Seeker would have been upset if she left it behind.

**[~]**

Optimus had fought against Megatron for many vorns. In that time he had learned that the leader of the Decepticons rarely did something without there being a reason behind it, and it got to the point that the Prime was able to figure out that reason, whether it was outright stated or never verbally acknowledged. With all that experience, it stood to reason that he _should _have been able to figure out what Megatron was up to.

Well, it wasn't exactly that easy.

Optimus was at a lost as he stood in the archway of the living room, watching his archrival ride on the back of Barricade as the two went up and down the hallway. Every once in a while, Megatron would sneer in the direction of the Autobots who attempted to tidy up the living room and make some derogatory remark, but other than that, the two 'Cons continued their loops up and down the hallway. Optimus had never been so confused in his life.

"What are they doing?" Optimus turned to see his SIC coming to a stop just behind him, door-wings twitching in slight annoyance as Barricade turned on his siren to mock the other police vehicle. "They have been driving up and down the hallway for the past two joors."

Optimus wasn't eager to admit that he had no idea, so he settled for saying, "He is just trying to unsettle us."

Prowl looked at his leader, the look on his face letting Optimus now that he didn't believe the Prime for a klick, but only hummed in acknowledgement as he watched Barricade take the turnaround too fast and fling Megatron off. "There was something else that I wished to speak to you about. About the attacks that Megatron lead yesterday."

A nod from Optimus signaled the tactician to continue. "Upon further analysis, I'm concerned that his random attacks are not nearly as random as they appeared. I noticed after the fighting had begun and the majority of us either occupied the living room or kitchen, the Seekers tended to vanish from the fight for a brief period of time before appearing again. Also, anytime we attempted to retreat to base, Megatron would immediately order his forces to stop us. Normally, this wouldn't be a concern, except the Seeker's would reappear shortly after, and once they were back, Megatron didn't attempt to stop us from retreating."

Optimus blinked as he processed what Prowl said, turning his attention from a cursing Megatron, who chased after his scout, in favor of observing how Bluestreak was slowly making the carpet look…not so burned. Ironhide, standing beside the sharpshooter, said something that made Bluestreak pause in his work to shove the older mech away, making the Weapons Specialist chuckle as the Praxian's attempts had no effect on him. "What could Megatron possibly be after in Victoria's room? If he was attempting to take the Autobot base, he would have done so earlier, during the times when it was completely unoccupied."

Prowl just frowned, barely noticing how Bluestreak had jumped on Ironhide now and was trying to wrestle him to the ground. "That is where I am stumped. There is _nothing_ in her room that would pose an interest to Megatron. He's been very adamant and outspoken about his hatred towards anything human oriented. The only thing I can think of is-"

Optimus suddenly held his hand up as a ping on his comm. link went off. Understanding the signal, Prowl silently stood as Optimus turned his attention to the sound._ :This is Optimus.:_

_:Well it's about time,:_ came Ratchet's impatient voice._ :I've been trying to contact you for the past breem and a half!:_

Optimus blinked in confusion. _:This is the first time I've heard-:_

_:I know!:_ Ratchet cut him off, and if Optimus hadn't been used to the medic's attitude, he probably would have been offended by the sudden cut-off. _:Starscream has been bragging about the comm. link inhibitor he managed to make from something in the laundry room; I stopped listening when his voice started to grind my gears, but Red Alert just managed to shoot the device and destroy it.:_

Ah, so that explained the high pitched noise that accompanied Ratchet's voice across the link. Optimus thought it was some malfunction on his side. _:How many Decepticons are there?:_

There was grumble from the cranky medic._ :Oh I don't know—all of them! It started off with just the Seekers and the others have been slowly joining them. Wait.:_ It sounded as if someone was speaking to Ratchet, explaining why he had put his leader on hold._ :And the Big Kahuna has just arrived.:_

_:The what?:_

_:Human phrase. Just roll with it.:_

Optimus stared at Prowl, who had silently joined the conversation after being connected by Optimus, but only received a shrug since the SIC had no idea what it meant either. _:I'm assuming you are referring to Megatron.:_

_:Of course. Now stop chatting and get you're aft in here! I have one patient with a banged up leg and another who's speaking backwards after that lug Bonecrusher threw him into a wall.:_

The comm. link was rudely cut off, and Optimus simply sighed. Prowl went to ordering Bluestreak and Ironhide to quit playing, as the red mech now had the Datsun in a strangle hold and was asking repeatedly if he wanted to give up.

Meanwhile, Ratchet was snarling up at the Seeker, who was still shrieking about his destroyed device, and the medic was contemplating whether or not to throw a wrench up at him. On one hand, he would have to go out and retrieve it afterwards, but on the other, it would shut Screamer up…

There was a loud "clang!" and before anyone knew it, Starscream was spiraling to the ground. Rumble and Frenzy, who had been ducking in and out from under the bed, dragging the prank items that the Autobots' twins had been hoarding, began to laugh hysterically as the Air Commander crashed down close to them, his optics winking as he attempted to reassemble his scrambled processor. Ratchet ignored the commotion as he turned back to his patient's open helm and went back to trying to correctly reconnect the bits that controlled his vocalizer.

Swoop was just as unbothered as he pushed Red Alert's leg back into alignment, earning a yelp at the sudden pain, and shook his head as Thundercracker tried to help his unsteady trine mate back to his feet while Megatron yelled at them. "There go good wrench."

"I have a spare," Ratchet reassured him as the fighting calmed a bit as some of the Decepticons stopped to laugh at their SIC's misfortune. "Just focus on Red Alert's leg. The sooner he's healed, the sooner we can really fight back."

"After Decepticons the are exactly what?" Mirage asked. He minutely slumped when his companions gave him confused looks. "Fixed not still is it."

Ratchet patted the former aristocrat on the shoulder. "It looks like your head connected with the wall a little harder than I anticipated. Just try not to talk until I'm finished."

Mirage nodded and stayed completely still as the medic fiddled around in his head while the Autobot SD resisted the urge to shoot Swoop as his ankle was popped back into place. "You Red Alert need to watch where going. No more falling off tables."

"For the last time, I was shoved!" Red Alert glared at the snort Ratchet gave him. "I'm not lying! Laserbeak knocked me over; that's why nobody else was up there with me." Swoop shoved him off the book, and he landed in a heap on the shelf. "What was that for?"

"All done," the pterodactyl answered simply and moved over to assist his mentor. "What me Swoop do now?"

Ratchet paused to peek out from behind the books standing in front of them and found that Starscream had recovered and was just ducking into the nightstand beside the bed. Thundercracker stood above him, staring intently at where the Autobots were currently hedged in. "We need to find out what they're after."

Swoop, ever simple Swoop, poked his head around the books and yelled, "What you Decepticons want?"

Apparently they were not expecting the question to be asked, and it threw them off enough to cease fire. Megatron recovered first and fully stepped out from behind the bedpost he was using as cover. "Surrender now and I _might_ let you live."

Red Alert, who had crept up to stand beside the medic-in-training, aimed his gun, lowered, raised it again, and finally lowered it again. "I can't shoot Megatron."

Mirage looked surprised and ignored Ratchet's earlier advice to ask, "What?"

Fortunately, the one worded question came out correctly, and the red and white mech gestured out at the Kreon leader. "Anyone who has ever attacked him and wasn't Optimus has come back from the battlefield with horrific damage. It's like a curse!" Red Alert glanced back out at the glowering mech. "Plus he's so small—like a youngling or something!"

"Puny boss-bot," Swoop said, only picking up on Red Alert's last statement. "Why we surrender to you?"

Megatron's glare could be felt straight through the books as the Dinobot insulted him. "Surrender and your death will be swift!"

"Me thought you say we live. Why we believe anything you Megatron say?"

Ratchet chuckled at the looks of disbelief that Mirage and Red Alert shot the pterodactyl. It sounded as if Swoop was standing up to Megatron, when in fact all he was doing was stating fact. Swoop was very smart by Dinobot standards, a fact that both Wheeljack and Ratchet acknowledged the rare times that Swoop got in the mood to argue about something, and he knew how to unbalance people by throwing a fact they previously stated back at them. Obviously it had worked since Megatron was incoherently growling.

"Megatron!" Starscream yelled from the drawer he was in, inadvertently saving his leader from having to acknowledge the Dinobot's previously asked question. The Air Commander, with the help of Thundercracker, climbed out of drawer and flashed a metallic key above his head. "I found it!"

"Excellent," Megatron muttered to himself. "Decepticons-" He paused as a strange sound entered the room from the hallway. "What is that?"

The next event was a blur as the door was knocked open and the sound became deafening. From the safety of the shelf, the Autobots heard shouts from the Decepticons as whatever was making the noise shot around the room. Then it paused in front of the books, and there was click before silence reigned throughout the room. Swoop moved to look out but fell back with a squawk as Wheeljack's head poked around the books. "I heard you guys needed some assistance."

"What did you do?" Ratchet asked with exasperation as he snapped Mirage's helm shut. Mirage laid down as a sudden rush of dizziness came over him and chose to ignore the others as they left the med-bay. "What in Primus' name-"

"It," Wheeljack showed off with a flourish. "Honestly, I was hoping to name her Heather, but Victoria insisted that 'she' was an 'it.' She was very adamant about not growing attached to our new creation."

Ratchet just shook his head as Swoop jogged around to examine It from every angle. It was actually a vacuum cleaner, stripped of most of its outer covering and hooked to what appeared to be one of the game controllers Victoria had allowed the inventor to keep, which sat in a space that looked as if Wheeljack had made a seat out of. The bottom half of it had been almost completely stripped apart, a dark hole in the place of whatever the engineer had taken out, so that debris could be sucked in without the cleaner exactly rolling over it, and the middle of it had been replaced by a clear column that allowed them to see the angered Megatron shouting at them and banging his fists on the plastic as Barricade and Bonecrusher, who had also had the misfortune of being sucked up, tried to figure out exactly where they were. It also wasn't plugged into the wall, meaning it know ran on some sort of battery, and it was a tiny fact that made Ratchet reluctant to be anywhere near it.

"It took us a little longer to get here." The medic turned to see Optimus walking up to stand beside them. "But Wheeljack insisted he have the chance to test out one of the few inventions that he has worked on with Victoria and has full permission to use." The engineer's head fins brightly lit up as he proudly stood beside his creation, ignoring how Prowl refused to get close after saying something about the high probability of mishap.

"Release me at once!" Megatron yelled from his prison, his voice muffled by the plastic surrounding him.

"Don't think so," Ironhide taunted as he climbed up to rap his knuckles against the cylinder. "You could use a li'l time out, shorty."

The grey mech let out a loud yell, one that had his two followers actually cringing, before movement out of the corner of his optic caught his attention. Turning, he found his second-in-command hovering above them with a look of shock that was slowly turning into glee. "Starscream, make yourself useful for once and get me out of here!"

"What?" Starscream asked innocently as he dangled the key he had found over their heads. "But this may be the best day of my life! With you, Megatron, out of commission, I, Starscream, am finally leader of the Decepticons." The Seeker took the time to find the rest of the Decepticons who hadn't been caught. "There may not be many, but I'm still leader! And as leader I believe that it would be…foolish to attempt a rescue when we are so _severely_ outnumbered. Bye Megatron!"

Optimus had never seen Megatron so angry when Starscream flew out of the room, swiftly followed by Thundercracker. Rumble and Frenzy, having been lucky enough to dodge It, took one look at the assembled Autobots and ran out of the room to find Soundwave, the only Decepticon officer that had not been present in the bedroom. With the loose enemies gone, the Prime turned his full attention to his rival. "Megatron, tell us what Starscream has planned, and we will release you."

He got the exact answer he was expecting. "Bite me, Prime."

**[~]**

**~I'm leader, I'm leader, I'm leader, I'm leader, I'm-~**

And on and on it went, but Thundercracker couldn't exactly tell Starscream to stop. He had never felt such a feeling of giddiness coming from his trine mate. Skywarp was usually the only one who experienced that nowadays. Starscream was flying ahead of him, doing happy little twirls and even falling back to nudge against Thundercracker, something he hadn't done in a while since he never liked to show how close of a bond he had with his trine.

**~I'm leader, I'm leader, **_**I'm the fragging leader**_**, I- gah the key!~**

Thundercracker swooped down to grab the key before it fell too far. Once it was settled between his wings, he ascended back up to Starscream's level and evened out. **~I know you're excited, but try to stay focused on our goal. There must be something important in those rooms if Victoria insists on locking them.~**

**~I know that!~ **Starscream said with disgruntlement and a tinge of embarrassment he would never admit to. **~I was just…testing your reflexes! As trine leader and Air Commander I have to be sure that you're ready for anything.~**

If he had been in his normal form, Thundercracker would have shaken his head at the blatant lie. As it was he was a jet, so he just settled for wobbling a bit. **~Really Star? Skywarp could have come up with a better lie than **_**that.~**_

Starscream squawked and shifted modes as they came to the first locked room. He grabbed the key from his brother and watched as Thundercracker joined him in hovering. "Don't question your new _leader._" He said the last word with such relish that Thundercracker cracked a tiny smile at his younger brother. "Now how do you work this thing?"

Thundercracker looked at the key and then the doorknob. There wasn't anywhere to scan it (he could just hear Skywarp saying "Duh!"), but there was a small slit that seemed like the key would fit in. He took it from Starscream and haphazardly shoved it in. Of course it turned out not to be that easy. First they had it upside down, so it didn't go in at all. Second, it took a little more force than anticipated to even get it in. It also turned out that just because it was in, didn't mean it was automatically unlocked. It took them a while to realize they actually had to _turn_ the key, and then they had the trouble of figuring out exactly which way to do that.

It was embarrassing to realize that it took them long enough for the Cassettes to find Soundwave and all three of them to climb up the stairs to watch them finally struggle with finding the correct way to twist the doorknob.

"Maybe it needs to go the other way."

"Curse humans and their ability to make simple things so difficult!"

"Wow," Rumble voiced from below, already getting snickers from his brother. "You guys suck."

"Shut it before I send you're aft to the smelter!" Starscream screeched as Thundercracker _finally_ managed to open the door. Starscream ignored the twins when he heard the door open and patted his blue brother on the shoulder as he glided in. "Good job TC."

Thundercracker perked up at the sound of the nickname that had gone long unused by the Air Commander. Starscream had never been overly fond of nicknames and really didn't understand the point of them, so it was normally just Skywarp who used them. Even Thundercracker used them sparsely. So it just showed how good of a mood Starscream was in if he was referring to his wing-mate by his nickname.

"This place is a dump," Frenzy commented as his red twin jumped headfirst into a pile of clothes, only to tumble back out with a hand over where his olfactory sensors would be. "What kind of dummy would dive into a pile of shit without thinking?"

Rumble gave him an answer in the form of a tackle, and the two rolled across the floor while Soundwave watched them with a slight shake of his helm. He really needed to start monitoring what they watched. That was the fourth time today one of them had used human curses, and he wasn't even going to attempt to count the other dozen times they had used them in the past two days. Yes, it was normal for his twins to curse, but something about the new human words they were growing fond of didn't sit well with the telepath. They just sounded so vulgar.

With a final glance at the tumbling pair, Soundwave began to thoroughly scan the room. Even before the rooms had been shut off from them, Jazz had prevented him from entering. In fact, there wasn't much Soundwave was able to do without running into the saboteur. Each time he was close to something that _might_ be useful, here comes Jazz, distracting his Cassettes in some way or at one point even surprising him by jumping on his back and determinedly hanging on until Soundwave had no choice but to retreat. Of course, Jazz's attempts to stop the telepath just made him even more determined, and at some point it even became a challenge for the two of them to outwit each other. It even got to the point where _Soundwave _was making roadblocks for Jazz.

Now the Decepticon would not have to deal with the Autobot. As interesting as it was to "play" with the saboteur, Soundwave hadn't forgotten the reason why he had started looking to begin with. It was true that since the beginning of the war, one of Soundwave's main occupations was intelligence gathering, but this went a little beyond his duties. He hadn't had the opportunity to see the human the first night they had arrived, but after repairing Ravage and downloading the information he had gathered, Soundwave had discovered that though she had expressed disbelief and a little fear at their sudden appearance, there had also been small traces of recognition. And that was what had interested the Communication's Officer the most. Victoria actually knew them somehow, and he was determined to find out how and the extent of her knowledge.

Soundwave ignored Frenzy, Rumble, and the Seekers who were hovering in the air above him as he took in the appearance of the room. It wasn't one of the neatest in the cabin, not that the Decepticons could say anything with the way they threw things around in their tiny room, but it was interesting to note that it appeared to be more of an "organized" mess if each messy part of the room was examined one at a time. Books were haphazardly thrown in front of small, two-shelved bookshelf, as if the owner had just been too lazy to put them back in their proper places but at the same time didn't wish for them to stray far from their designated area; the clothes on the floor were actually divided up into separate piles: shirts here, pants there, whites over in the corner; and a little TV shoved in the corner across from the bed was surrounded by piles of cases with a player similar to the one downstairs sitting on top of it.

Even the walls displayed the same organization method. Pictures were scattered all across the wall with seemingly no particular pattern, but Soundwave was a patient enough mech to pick out the subtle similarities. Some of the groups of images seemed washed out, others appeared much brighter, and a majority of them looked as if they were divided by how they were shaded. Amazing talent too.

Soundwave was scrutinizing each image, dimly aware that Starscream was flying around the room, pulling out random things from open drawers and occasionally knocking something off a shelf, when he came to an image of interest. "Megatron."

"Where?" Starscream instantly shrieked, pausing in the middle of knocking over a pile of DVDs to twirl around in search of the grey leader who would be aiming his cannon at the jet. When he didn't see said leader, he turned to glare at Soundwave. "_Soundwave!"_

Soundwave silently pointed to the wall behind Starscream, and the Seeker spun around with a roll of his optics. His shriek actually made Thundercracker, who was busy examining a book with a story that was told through pictures, look up at the brief flash of fear he felt. "Megatron! When did you get big again?"

Frenzy looked up as Rumble ducked under the bed (because there was _always_ good stuff under the beds) and started to laugh at the tri-colored jet instinctively protecting his head. "Primus, you're such a loser! It aint even real!"

Starscream peeked out of his arms as Rumble joined his brother in laughing and growled when he realized his mistake. Thundercracker watched with little surprise as Starscream flew at the wall and tore off the paper with the image of the fearsome Megatron, tearing it to shreds afterwards. It was an extreme reaction, but then again, it _was_ Starscream. Which completely explained why one minute he was cursing Megatron and ripping the leader's face apart and the next he was suddenly fawning over an image of himself.

"It's beautiful and completely accurate!" Starscream declared as he tore away the pictures of little Bumblebee and Grimlock to get to his picture. He carefully peeled it from the wall and held the sheet of paper almost twice his size to smirk at his beautiful face. "I'm keeping this."

Thundercracker shook his head as the Air Commander carefully folded the image for storage. He finally noticed the other pictures surrounding the now blank wall and stared up at them with disbelief. "How on Cybertron does Victoria have pictures of the Constructicons?"

Soundwave must have been thinking the same thing because he was walking closer to the wall to get a better look. "Observation: host holds many secrets."

"I think it's creepy," Rumble commented as he dragged out a black, plastic, rectangular object from beneath the bed. "What's this?"

The telepath took one last look at the wall before wandering over to study what his Cassettes had found. Thundercracker abandoned his search to fly up to Starscream, who was hovering in front of the wall with a thoughtful look. "As much as it pains me to say this, the little pit-spawn is right. It's creepy to look up here and see images of Decepticons that the human shouldn't even know exists." Thundercracker twitched back as the SIC lunged forward and ripped a long jagged line through the picture of the Constructicons. "There! Problem solved. Just rip them all down."

"Are you sure?" the level-headed Seeker asked, glancing at all of the pictures on the wall. "What if Victoria-"

"_Excuse me_," Starscream interrupted obnoxiously as he hovered into Thundercracker's face. "Are you questioning me: you're trine leader, Air Commander, and overall _Commanding Officer?"_

Starscream didn't wait for a response and went back to attacking the paper, shredding it into tiny pieces. Thundercracker frowned as he watched the pieces harmlessly flutter to the ground. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of punishment Victoria would enforce when she came home to find the mess. It wouldn't be too extreme, maybe a breem in the Jar or the possibility of walking around without an arm until Soundwave felt the need to fix it. Right?

"_Just ignore how Soundwave is making sure not to get involved,"_ Thundercracker thought as he reached out to tear an image of himself from the wall.

**[~]**

"I bet they had no idea what to do without us."

"Seriously. 'Screamer's probably driven TC insane by now."

Victoria grinned as Sideswipe and Skywarp continued to guess what had happened during their absence, each time getting more and more creative. Who would have thought that twelve hours stuck in the same car with Jazz torturing them by listening to opera for the last half of the trip and Sunstreaker ignoring his brother after the red front-liner shoved him out the window during one of their gas stops would have created a tentative camaraderie between the Autobot and Decepticon? Though, she had been a little concerned when they started comparing past pranks, trying to outdo each other.

Now they sat together on her bag as she trudged through the startling amount of snow that had appeared between the time they had left and now. There must have been a good storm overnight. "I'm positive they managed to survive without you two."

"Ah don' know. Prowler was prob'ly lost without the Twins ta punish an' me ta save 'im from 'is borin' everyday routine," Jazz said, joining in on the "How Did They Survive Without Us" conversation. Sunstreaker snorted and furiously scrubbed off the melted snow that had fallen on him with the collar of Victoria's sweater.

Victoria playfully rolled her grey eyes as she reached out to unlock the door. "He probably considered it a mini-vacation. A no Jazz or Twins para...dise."

The young woman trailed off as she watched a runaway vacuum shoot across the hall from the living room and into the kitchen, flinching when it loudly knocked over a chair. Wheeljack came running after it yelling, "Watch out! It is out of control!" He vanished into the kitchen before running back out as fast as he could with It on his heels.

Victoria immediately acted, dropping off her bags by the door and rushing into the living room just in time to see the vacuum chase Wheeljack, Ironhide, and Bluestreak under the coffee table. Prowl and Ratchet stood on the back of the couch, out of harm's way, and watched with an unsurprised air. "What is going on?"

Prowl turned at the sound of her voice and didn't respond as Jazz hopped off her shoulder to give his friend a tight hug. Once he had pushed the saboteur off, Prowl said, "The invention you gave Wheeljack permission to use has gone out of control, an unsurprising event seeing as there was over a ninety percent probability of it occurring."

There was a squawk, and Swoop came out of nowhere to attach himself to the side of Victoria's face. "Me Swoop miss you Victoria! By way, me Swoop no do damage to furry floor."

The human didn't have time to respond as the vacuum chased the three Autobots around the couch and towards her. Her hand shot out and grabbed the runaway appliance, after which she bent down to flick the emergency off switch, something that Wheeljack had been certain would never need to be used. The vacuum immediately went limp as well as the engineer who had created it, falling up against Victoria's leg. "You timed it perfectly! Any longer and we might have-"

He yelped as Ironhide snatched him up and roughly shook him. "I thought you said ya had it under control! Look at what ya did ta Prime!"

It was then that Victoria finally noticed the special plastic cylinder she had helped Wheeljack equip was crowded with mechs. Her hand covered her mouth as she crouched down to get a clearer view of Red Alert clinging to Optimus as the Prime calmly stared down the seething Megatron, who was flanked by Bonecrusher and Barricade. "How the- how did you get Optimus in there?"

"Optimus was questioning Megatron when It suddenly came on, and he got sucked in because he didn't have time to get away. And then Red Alert got sucked in because he wasn't fast enough. _I _would be in there too if Swoop hadn't pulled me out of the way," Bluestreak answered as he ran up to stand on top of her shoe. "But enough about that; how was your trip? What did you do? Did you leave Skywarp behind?"

Skywarp glared down at the Datsun as Victoria shook her head and began to unscrew the column. "To answer your questions: it was an okay trip; we just went to my office, and they trashed my apartment trying to catch each other; and no, Skywarp is still with us." Bluestreak pouted at the last answer, but Victoria chose to ignore that as the column came off and Red Alert rushed to cling to her hand. "So, how did it feel getting sucked into a vacuum?"

The SD whimpered while the Decepticons viciously glared at her. Optimus sighed. "It was a very…strange experience that I do not wish to undergo again."

"Poor things," Victoria said and rubbed the top of Red Alert's helm since he didn't appear to be letting go anytime soon. "But I'm sure the Decepticons deserved it in some way."

Megatron glowered but surprised her by ignoring her statement and jumping to the ground. "I don't have time for you, pesky organic. When I get my servos on that traitor Starscream, he'll wish he had never been sparked!"

Skywarp jumped off her shoulder to follow Megatron out of the room, Barricade and Bonecrusher also following, leaving Victoria behind to blink in confusion. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Long story short: Starscream saw a chance to become the Commanding Officer, he took it, leaving Megatron in our care and taking one of your keys," Ratchet explained as he calculated what it would take to reattach Wheeljack's arm that Ironhide had accidentally shaken off in his anger. "We didn't have time to follow him since _It_ went haywire."

"I'm sorry," Wheeljack squeaked after Ironhide let him go with a gruff apology. Ratchet sighed and began to climb down the couch to repair the engineer and give Ironhide a dent for increasing his work load.

"Wait, what key did Starscream get?" Victoria asked in confusion. She thought she had taken all of the keys with her.

"A key like that," Bluestreak said, pointing at the ring of keys dangling from her finger. "It was in the table beside your bed. We don't know what he wanted with it though, but it seemed like the thing that the 'Cons were trying so hard to get while you were gone."

Sunstreaker hit his brother's shoulder, which was reflexively returned with a grunt. "I told you we should have stayed. Fighting 'Cons would have been more exciting than sitting in an office with nothing to do."

Victoria shook her head as the brothers began to exchange smacks and nudged Red Alert over to Ratchet so that the medic could calm him down where she couldn't. "How did they even know about the key?"

Prowl shook his head as Jazz conferred quietly with Optimus. "_We_ did not even know about it. How the Decepticons discovered it is a mystery."

Swoop's guilty shifting went unnoticed as the brunette straightened back up. "You guys get Red Alert calmed down; I'll handle the Decepticons."

Bluestreak went to follow her but fell back when Ratchet snapped at him to get the Twins under control since the three high ranked officers were conversing and the others were trying to calm the SD down from a potential crash brought on from stress. Victoria didn't notice as she spotted Megatron trying to climb up the stairs, angrily shouting orders at Bonecrusher, who was skating back to the laundry room, and Barricade, who was three steps above him already. She stepped over them, getting the yells directed towards her, and reached the top of the staircase to see the door to her brother's room wide open.

She pushed the anger back as she nearly stomped the short distance to the room, where the sound of Skywarp's voice and Starscream's screeches combined to create a terrible duet. What she had planned to say to the mechs in the room vanished as her eyes widened at the mess she found. Her brother's room had been a mess before, but now it looked like a twister had swept through it. DVDs, books, and other knickknacks that had sat on top of the dresser were scattered across the floor, but that wasn't what caught her attention. Paper was strewn _everywhere_ and not just whole sheets, something she could have possibly let by without a care. Pieces of it were scattered across the floor, the colors from the pictures being the only thing that kept it from resembling the snow outside.

The three Seekers hovered in the air above the mess. Thundercracker was looking between Skywarp and Starscream as they both yelled back and forth in their native tongue. If Victoria hadn't been so focused on them, she would have noticed Ravage, who had jumped off her bag the moment she put it down, duck under the bed to join Soundwave and the other Cassettes where they hid out of sight. "What have you done?"

Starscream snapped his mouth closed as he turned to her with glare. Skywarp twirled away from the other two Seekers to hover nearby but far enough away to clearly state that he wasn't particularly happy with them at the moment. "Well, it's about time you returned. You never kept your deal to put Megatron in the Jar."

"_What did you do?"_ Victoria repeated, looking at the empty wall and realizing where the paper on the ground came from. "Did you _destroy_ my brother's work?"

"I have a better question," Starscream said, flying over to get into her face. "What were you doing with pictures of _us?"_

"My brother worked hard on those," Victoria answered instead, glaring at the Seeker as a long forgotten anger began to rise within her. "It's why they were on his wall. Eric always hung the best of his drawings in his room."

The tri-colored Seeker waved a dismissing servo. "He can create more. Now-"

"No, he can't!" she interrupted, and the volume of her voice made him back down. "What even possessed you to come in here and _destroy_ what may have been my brother's most prized creations? That's why I had the room blocked off!"

"We'll clean it up," Thundercracker jumped in, flying over to hover in front of Starscream, who was finally coming down from his leader high and reverting back to the cowardly Seeker the 'Cons knew. "It was an honest mistake."

"A mistake?" Victoria hissed as her new target slowly nodded. "I thought you were the smart one. Why did you let him do that? Didn't you even think about why I had this closed off?"

"What's the big deal?" Starscream asked, though he remained behind the bigger jet. "It's simply-"

"If you say another word, I will literally snap you in half and toss you in the washing machine so that there's no way for even _Ratchet_ to fix you."

Starscream gawked at the threat, and even Soundwave, watching beneath the bed with his Cassettes, shuddered at the warning that was backed with just the right amount of righteous anger to make it a potential outcome in the near future. He also observed that only Thundercracker was concerned by the threat directed at his brother. Skywarp still hovered away from them, looking as angry as Victoria. Interesting…

"Victoria," Thundercracker started with surprise. He had never seen the human so angry before and definitely never had it directed at _him_.

But Victoria cut him off. "_This," _she said, gesturing at the room, "is the most personal of my brother's things. Everything else in this house? It's trash! The stuff in the living room, the few things I've already set aside to keep, _the whole fucking cabin_—I don't care about! It's why I don't yell much at you guys when you shoot a hole in the wall or break a vase. But the stuff in this room is all I have left to remember my brother by. I was going to save those pictures because they were obviously special to him."

Thundercracker flinched back as a stray tear rolled down her cheek, bumping into Starscream, who watched with fascinated shock. "I can't make up for the ten years that I shut him out; I don't have anything else to remember him by. You might not be able to understand what it feels like to lose a brother, and with the way you Decepticons treat each other, I doubt you ever will. If I was to carry out my threat against Starscream, I bet you wouldn't even flinch!

"And _you." _Starscream cringed back as the glare was directed back at him. "I put up with your schemes to get rid of Megatron. I didn't even care what you did. But you crossed the line when you chose to extend you obnoxious, conniving schemes to involve me because I'll warn you now. You're actions today? They've made an enemy out of me. If you cross me again, you're in for far more than just a missing arm—my promise of neutrality be damned. And that's a promise."

Victoria gave the pair one final glare before quickly retreating from the room. They could hear her loudly stomping down the staircase and a minute later the loud bang of the sliding door to the back porch. Thundercracker kept staring at the door as Starscream peeked around him. A feeling inside of him, like something tightening around his spark, shot through him. Victoria had been wrong when she said he wouldn't understand what it felt like to lose a brother. It would most likely kill him, literally, if something were to happen to Starscream or Skywarp.

And from the way Skywarp was glaring at them, he couldn't help but feel as if he may have already been losing one. "What were guys _thinking?_ I told you to go for the other room!"

"This room, that room, what's the fragging difference?" Starscream screeched, though he stayed as close to Thundercracker as possible. He still wasn't over coming so close to Victoria just snapping him in half and being done with him. He was actually surprised that she _hadn't._

"This one was important," Skywarp protested. "She got upset with the _Autobots _for even being in here!"

"Skywarp this silly crush of yours has gone on for far enough!" Starscream yelled as he finally got the gist of why Skywarp was mad at them. "Why would our actions even effect how she thinks of you? Since when have you even _cared _about what a femme thought of you?"

"This is different," the teleporter insisted, glaring at his slightly older brother. "Victoria's different, okay? Besides, there's more to it-"

"Starscream is right, Skywarp," Thundercracker cut in, earning a glare of his own. "You're losing focus. The whole point of this was to find out what she and the Autobots are hiding. Even though we probably shouldn't have trashed the room like we did, our goal was completed. Aren't you even a little skeptical as to why her brother had pictures of us?"

Skywarp looked Thundercracker straight in the optic and said with a seriousness that didn't suit him, "Her brother's dead. You didn't see the way she was three days ago, but I did, and I started thinking long and hard about what I've been feeling. I'm still not exactly sure what it is, but I know it's more than a little crush, and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm feeling a lot better than _you _claim to. I didn't tell you to go to the other room to impress her; I did it because I didn't want to see her like that again.

"And that isn't even the main reason I'm so mad," Skywarp continued, his burgundy optics glowing brighter with anger. "You guys don't even _listen_ to me! How many times did I tell you to go to the other room? I wouldn't even let you tell Megatron about the key until you swore to do that! I know the other Decepticons don't take me serious—it's obvious that they don't. But I expected a little more from my _brothers._ Do you guys honestly think so little of me?"

Skywarp didn't wait for an answer, and Thundercracker stared with dismay as the youngest of their trine flew out of the room, slamming a mental wall to block the connection he had with them. He heard Starscream gasp behind him. "He didn't–he can't just shut us out like that…can he?"

The blue Seeker didn't answer the younger mech but instead continued to stare out the door. There was more than one way to lose a brother, something that Victoria had already experienced if what Skywarp said was true. Regardless, it hurt all the same.

**[~]**

"I could have died!" Red Alert yelled for likely the hundredth time as Ratchet continued to look him over for any serious injuries. "That's it! Wheeljack is no longer allowed to mess with things that aren't his height or smaller. Bad things happen–don't touch that!"

The medic sighed as the Lamborghini jerked his arm away even though it was obviously damaged. "Red Alert calm down. I'm trying to help."

"Help? I know what you want. You want to take me apart and use me as spare parts. That's right, I caught on to your game a long time ago _medic!"_

Ratchet sighed and passed a servo over his face as Ironhide fought to keep the paranoid mech from jumping up and running out of the room. If he did, they would likely never find him again since there were so many nooks and crannies he could hide in. "Swoop, I'm in need of assist."

When his trainee didn't immediately come to his side, the medic looked up to see the Dinobot standing close to Bluestreak, both of whom looking out of the glass door at Victoria bent over in a lawn chair, her head cradled in her hands as a few snowflakes landed on her. The human had startled them when she came thundering down the stairs. She hadn't even paused when Optimus had called her name. Instead, Victoria had marched up to the door and slammed it back shut to keep them in while she paced the porch. She had been out there for a couple of breems now and was likely freezing from her lack of covering.

Ratchet sighed again and gently tossed a tool over to get their attention. "Let her be. Right now she wishes to be alone, and _I_ need assistance before Red Alert hurts himself even more."

Swoop got the idea and grabbed the tool that had been thrown at them as he hurried over, but Bluestreak stayed by the door, door-wings drooping because he couldn't help his friend. Victoria had been happy when they got back; what could have possibly put her in this mood? An arm was slung over his shoulder and swung him around to face a blank-faced Sunstreaker. "What up, Blue? How did you survive the cranky old 'bots without us?"

"Prowl needed my help since Jazz wasn't here," Bluestreak responded as he tried to turn back around. Sunstreaker grabbed his head and turned him back around while his brother started to drag him across the room. "What are you two doing? I really think I should-"

"There's nothing you can do," Sunstreaker said, giving him a glare every time he tried to look behind them. "Leave her alone."

"Sunny's right," Sideswipe insisted, ignoring his brother's growl at the nickname. "Vicky's a very introverted person, like our own little ball of Sunshine here." Another growl from behind them. "Sometimes she needs space, and I'm pretty sure this is one of those times."

"I think she'd appreciate someone being there more than you think," Bluestreak said, giving up with looking backwards as Sunstreaker finally smacked him.

"I know you wanna be with her, but if you wanna make this work, you've gotta learn when to leave a femme alone."

Bluestreak looked up in surprise. "Make what work? I'm already Victoria's friend."

Sideswipe gave his brother a smirk, which was returned with an optic roll. "Oh Blue, I love it when you act so naïve."

"What are you talking about? Sunstreaker, what's he talking about?"

"The frag if I know," Sunstreaker said as his silly twin started to hum a song they had listened to during their road trip. "He's lost what little processor he had before we landed here."

"This isn't about me!" Sideswipe insisted as he guided them to only Primus knew where. "It's all about Blue and Vicky, and though he might not have realized it yet, he needs our help. Now, we tried to sabotage Skywarp back at the office–"

"Is that what you were trying to do?"

"-but he managed to pull it together with that organic thingy."

"It was a flower, Sides."

"So, all we have to do is get a thingy–"

"_Flower."_

"And she'll love you!" Sideswipe paused to look back at his yellow brother. "Since when do you care about proper names, my Flower o' Crazy?"

Sunstreaker scowled as Bluestreak giggled at the new nickname. The red mech ignored his brother's glare, as he usually did, and pulled the giggly sniper out of the room. "Up to the second floor we go! I think I saw something like that up there while I was looking for-" He paused and shot a look at the two behind him. "…_things_ to pretty up the base."

"I wondered where those sticky traps came from."

"Shut up Flower."

The trip up the stairs took the usual amount of time, and they were temporarily sidetracked by watching Megatron attempt to kill Starscream while Thundercracker picked up tiny pieces of paper. Once the fascination had worn off, they continued to the storage room that had only managed to be halfway cleaned. Sideswipe immediately spotted what he was looking for and ordered Sunstreaker to help him get to the top off the plastic container. Bluestreak watched as they managed to get the top open a crack, and the red mech wiggled into the box to pull out a big fuzzy brown circle attached to a green stick and surrounded by thin yellow pieces of fabric.

"Here we go!" Sideswipe exclaimed as he tossed the object out and went to climb out after it. Unfortunately, Sunstreaker lost his grip, and the top snapped back down on the red twin's midsection. He grunted and strained to pull himself out. "Not cool Sunny. Let me out."

Sunstreaker bent over from where he stood on the top. "Stop calling me that."

"What Sunny?" Sideswipe taunted as he strained to pull himself out. Sunstreaker stepped on top of where he was stuck. "Hey, hey! Get off Sunshine!"

"Swear to never call me Sunny or Sunshine again."

"But you're such a _joy_ to be around!"

"Swear it!"

"Never!"

Bluestreak watched from below, clutching the oversized plant as the Twins went back and forth, name calling turning to threats and threats turning into physical violence in the form of semi-playful fighting. "Okay, I'm gonna go now. Try not to kill each other."

"Good luck Blue!" Sideswipe called after him before swearing. "Ow! Stop messing with my horns!"

"I don't know why I would need luck," Bluestreak said to himself as he jumped down the steps. "We're already friends. And how is this supposed to help? It's plastic. Is it supposed to turn into something else? Or does it have secret powers? That seems silly. Why would Victoria even want this? And what was Sides talking about earlier, me acting naïve? I'm not naïve! It's not my fault Sides doesn't make sense sometimes."

"Where ya goin' with dat Blue?"

Bluestreak looked up to find that he had made it to the living room without even realizing it and that Jazz was standing right in front of him. Everyone in the room seemed to have calmed down from the earlier It episode. It also looked like Red Alert had been knocked out. "Sideswipe says this is supposed to help me with Victoria, but I don't know how. Is she still outside?"

Jazz examined the flower that Bluestreak held in his hands, and a slow grin spread across his face. "So _that's _how it is, huh? Neva' knew ya had it in ya."

"Had what in me?" the Praxian asked as Jazz walked away with a bounce in his step. "What are you talking about? Are you three setting me up? You better not make me seem like a fool!" Bluestreak frowned after the saboteur and looked down at the flower. "I better not look like an idiot. I may seem sweet, but my revenge is anything but."

The sharpshooter made his way across the room and to the door, where he found that it had been cracked open, and upon further investigation, Swoop was outside with Victoria, standing in her lap and looking down as he spoke to her. Bluestreak squeezed through the door and jumped down into the snow to tread across the porch to them. As he walked closer, he managed to catch the very tail end of what Swoop had been saying. "-sorry. Me Swoop no think. Just wanted him Skywarp out before you be disturbed. All Swoop's fault."

Victoria sighed and passed a hand under her left eye. "No Swoop, it's not your fault. You didn't know what the key was for, and I never told you guys what was in the room. You couldn't have known it was important."

Swoop still didn't look very happy as he nodded and jumped down. He stared at the flower Bluestreak dragged through the snow as he passed, but didn't comment as Ratchet called out for him from the living room. The Datsun made it to where the human was sitting slumped in the chair and looked around for a way to climb up to her level. Finding none, he settled for simply calling out her name to gain her attention. "Victoria?"

Victoria looked down and blinked at the yellow decoration that he had with him. "Where did you get that?"

Bluestreak frowned and held up the plastic flower that now had flecks of snow stuck to it. "Sides said something about this making you happy, but I don't see how. He pulled it out of a box upstairs and gave it to me without explaining. I went along with it because I figured if he was right about it making you happy, then it was worth potentially humiliating myself if it didn't."

Victoria took the flower from him and stared at it before suddenly laughing. "I hope he isn't planning on giving me a flower every time he gets in trouble. It's only cute the first dozen times."

Bluestreak smiled as the red front-liner's plan seemed to work but frowned as he said, "Are you okay?"

"No," she answered truthfully, twirling the plastic stem of the plant. "But I don't expect to be for a while. I just got a little…upset seeing what the jets did. It's even worse now that I know Skywarp may have had a part in it."

Bluestreak frowned even more and felt like he might be physically sick as he said, "I don't think Skywarp knew what they were doing. He wasn't with the other Seekers when we saw them upstairs, and from what we've seen from past victories of theirs, he likes to gloat about the part he had in them as soon as possible. I don't even know where he's gone off too now."

"Still," Victoria said while standing up and sticking the flower stem in her pocket, "he'll have to do a lot to get back into my good graces after this. Now let's go back inside before we freeze."

Bluestreak smiled as they headed back in. He'd have to ask the Twins _exactly_ how they found out about the flower thing. "You should make it really hard. Like really, really hard. So that if he does get back on your good side, you know he means it. Or you run him off in the process."

"That's mean," Victoria said as she stepped inside. Bluestreak hopped up the small ridge and moved to allow the door to be shut. "The Twins are a bad influence on you."

"Or am I a bad influence on them?"

Victoria laughed and walked over with him to join the rest of the Autobots.

**[~]**

A couple of hours later, Victoria was hiking back up the staircase. She had waited long enough for her anger to mostly subside, and she still wasn't in any particular mood to clean up the mess the Seekers had made, but the sooner it got done, the better. She stepped into the room and blinked down at the clean floor. Well, at least the paper had been cleaned up; everything else was still in its "proper" place. Her surprise grew as she looked up and saw Soundwave and his Cassettes looking up at the muted TV, the light from it flashing across their forms as the room darkened with the coming night.

"What are you doing?" Victoria couldn't help but ask as she walked over to join them. She paused at the sight of what was on screen before lightly sitting on the bed beside Laserbeak. "Where did you find this?"

"Under the bed," Frenzy answered, not even looking away from the figures on the screen as he sat on the floor with his brother while Soundwave stood behind them both. "There's a whole box of unmarked discs with these big cassettes."

Victoria silently reached up to grab the remote from the top of the TV and turned the volume up. She managed to turn it up just in time for her brother to yell at the camera. "Mama! Tell Vicky that Jazz and Prowl _don't kiss!"_

"But you said they were close friends!" little Victoria on screen insisted, and the camera zoomed in on the two toys she held up for all to see. "Auntie Terra and Mr. Clyde are really close friends too, and they kiss _all_ the time."

The twins laughed. "We should have turned it up earlier. It's funnier with the sound."

The woman ignored them as she listened to a person off screen laugh. "Aunt Terra and Clyde are a different kind of friends."

The little girl looked down at the black and white toys in her hands before looking up at the person behind the camera. "Can they hug each other?"

Another laugh. "Sure."

The Victoria on screen looked over at the little blonde boy standing beside her. "Can they hug him?"

The boy looked offended and held the blue robot in his hand as far away from her as possible. "No! Soundwave doesn't like them."

There was a muffled voice in the background, and the boy suddenly jerked around to look behind him. "No Steeljaw! You can't eat Megatron's face!"

Rumble and Frenzy laughed even more as the camera shifted to focus in on the huge dog chewing on the grey toy between his paws. Optimus and Ratchet sat close by, as if watching the dog tear apart the Decepticon leader. The boy threw his hands up in the air, showcasing the Soundwave he held, before hastily dropping it to the ground and running off across the yard to grab the dog. The dog perked up and snatched up the toy to playfully run around the yard, not even realizing that the boy's yells for it to stop were meant to be taken seriously.

The scene shifted back to the little girl holding Jazz and Prowl, who had their arms linked together as if they were about to skip down a road. "Aren't you going to save the toy?"

The girl shook her head, whipping her long, messy black hair against her face. "No. Megatron's a bad guy. Besides, I'm not a doctor anymore. I make stuff with Wheeljack now." She bent down to pick up the toy her brother had dropped. "Soundwave has to go check on his kids now."

Little Victoria ran into the house after that, ignoring how her brother yelled after their dog, who was still prancing around the yard with the toy in his jaws and not a care in the world. The rest of the video followed Eric wrestling the toy away from the Labrador and presenting the brutally mangled Megatron to the camera and making the twins laugh again. Victoria silently watched as the anger from earlier began to finally fade away. She hadn't seen these home videos since her mother had died. Eric must have snuck them out when he left and had them converted over to discs when DVDs started getting really popular.

A tiny weight appeared on the bed beside her as Megatron's head popped off on screen, much to little Eric's dismay. Victoria looked down to see Skywarp dejectedly sitting on the edge of the bed with her. "I know what part you had in this."

"I know," Skywarp said. "I'm…sorry."

"It takes more than a sorry."

"I know." Skywarp paused and looked up at her. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I told them not to come into this room."

"You shouldn't have told them about the key to begin with."

"Maybe not," the Seeker acknowledged and shifted around uncomfortably. Apologizing was not something he practiced on a daily basis. "I told them what I thought about it, and I'm not talking to them right now. Brothers are supposed to listen and respect each other. They haven't done that in a long time. I'm thinking about joining your side."

Soundwave jerked around in surprise at the blatant way Skywarp just admitted to potentially deserting the Decepticons. Victoria looked just as surprised as she said, "Skywarp, I don't have side."

"Sure you do," the jet insisted. "You're not allied with the Autobots, and you're not siding with the Decepticons. Your style is a sort of mix between both the factions. You obviously believe in all the fairness and stuff the Autobots spout off, but you're just as brutal as us. It was decided a long time ago that you weren't a pansy little neutral."

The woman blinked, noticing how Soundwave was now watching with a critical look in his optic band as his Cassettes continued to laugh at the video. "I guess I can have a side, but I'm not accepting any…applicants right now. I'm not starting up a feud with the factions already assembled because some of their members want to jump ship and join me. And you have to get back on my good side before I even consider letting you in."

Skywarp pouted, and Soundwave watched them long enough to establish that there was no potential threat from her and Skywarp had been firmly denied a spot in her newly created faction. He turned back to the movie, only to find that they were still displaying the mutilated Megatron, and having grown tired of watching his leader be disfigured a long time ago, he turned back around to Victoria. "Inquiry: where are replicas now?"

Victoria shrugged and stood up, leaving Skywarp behind to sulk. "Not exactly sure. Thanks for finding these though. I may not have even found them without you, and it almost makes up for what Starscream did." She popped the DVD out, making the Cassettes yell at her, and picked up the box they found it in. "I'll have to go tell Jazz and Prowl I made them make out now."

The yells stopped as she left the room, and Rumble looked to his brother. "Wait, if what she's implying is that that was the Autoboobs, then that means…" The Cassettes grinned at each other and began to loudly laugh. "_That's_ why Megatron so small. He got ate by an organic pet!"

Soundwave shook his head. That couldn't have possibly been them. They weren't a child's toy. Though, the streak of missing paint along Toy Jazz's front had been similar to the one on the Jazz that ran around the house…

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Didn't feel like putting an author's note up top, so it ended up down here :) Anyway, special thanks to _Devil-O-Angel _who gave me the idea for the final scene a chapter or two ago, and _Beowolf828_ who not only read the chapter ahead of time, like usual, but also helped me with the Seeker/Victoria confrontations. Yay :D I'm also going through a short stint of writer's block but hopefully I'll have that cured before next Saturday.

Also to solve any confusion there might be: the Decepticons have no idea of their current status in Victoria's dimension. Only the Autobots do, and they're not exactly on close enough terms to tell them while Victoria never felt the need to repeat herself twice.

Until next Saturday (hopefully) ^_^

**EDITED: 3/13/14 (Grammar, missing words, added warning at top for language)**


	15. Paint Jobs

_Deca-cycle: ~3 weeks  
>Vorn: 83 years<br>Stellar cycle: ~7.5 months_

"_Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Fourteen

Paint Jobs

* * *

><p><strong>Day 17<strong>

Ever since Wheeljack had moved out to the shed, he had had only a handful of visits, all of which were either about official business, to make sure that he hadn't blown himself up, or Ratchet coming out to fix him when he did in fact encounter a minor…accident. So, he was only slightly curious as to what Victoria was doing out in the shed that morning. Okay, so he was _really_ curious about what she was doing and took the time to follow her around to find out. "What are you looking for again?"

"Paintbrushes, rollers, primer, and plastic to put on the floor," Victoria answered as she casually stepped over the engineer's elaborate set up. "That's looking good by the way."

"Thank you," Wheeljack said with a happy flash of light. "But why are you looking for that stuff?"

"I'm already behind my planned schedule," the woman explained as she finally found her brother's secret stash of painting supplies. Well, it should have been secret with all the trouble he had gone through to keep it out of sight. "Besides, I'm still in a bad mood from yesterday, so maybe painting will help me a little. That, and I hear getting high from paint fumes is a wonderful experience."

"Huh?"

"Nothing Wheeljack."

Wheeljack rubbed the back of his head as he watched Victoria empty out a ten gallon bucket to carry the supplies in. "Does this have something to do with what the Decepticons were doing yesterday?"

"Sorta," was the only answer he got as Victoria reached up to grab a roll of blue tape from one of the few shelves in the shed. "I heard Ratchet made you pull the plug on It."

The engineer shrugged and let the change in conversation happen. "He wasn't exactly happy with what happened to Red Alert. I heard the mech still hasn't been allowed to come back online for fear of spazzing out and hurting himself or someone else."

"What? Are you not allowed to see him?"

"I've actually been kicked out of base until further notice."

Victoria laughed while picking up her bucket, and Wheeljack followed her as she carefully stepped over his mini-inventions. "Is that Ratchet's version of making you sleep on the couch?"

"Oh no, Ratchet's version of sleeping on the couch is _way_ worse than just kicking me out. You should have seen his reaction the first time I blew up half of our base back in Iacon. As a matter of fact, Grapple wasn't too happy either…" Wheeljack shook his head and gave her a wave as she walked through the snow and back to the house. "Have fun getting high and stuff."

Victoria giggled. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Not a clue."

Victoria was still chuckling as she reentered the house. She kicked off her snow covered shoes and placed the bucket in a corner of the living room before leaving to find the buckets of paint she had bought nearly a week ago. She found them in the hallway closet and pulled out the colors she had chosen for the living room and kitchen. She was just about to walk out of the closet when there was a high pitched yelp that made her pause and look down.

During the first few days with the mini-Transformers, Victoria had almost stepped on a couple of them, and the only thing that had kept them from being squished was making a quick noise, normally a yell, squawk, or, in some cases, angry curses. She was proud to say that she hadn't even come near to stepping on them for a while now. So it was a little surprising to hear the yelp and look down to see no one. At least until Mirage suddenly appeared ducking out from beneath the foot she had paused mid-step. "I'm so sorry Mirage! If you insist on being invisible around me, you've gotta make some kind of noise so I know you're there."

Mirage sighed as Victoria lowered her foot. "Alright is it. Fault my was it."

Victoria blinked down at him, not sure she had heard him correctly. "What?"

For the first time since they had arrived, Mirage completely broke his collected image in front of her by suddenly letting out a frustrated yell. "Yet fixed been not has it believe cannot I! Fine perfectly is everything says Ratchet. Backwards speaking still I am why then but? It about joke poor some made has Jazz or Twins the times many how you tell cannot I!"

The buckets were placed beside the fuming spy, and the woman crouched down to get closer to his level. "Are you speaking backwards?"

It almost seemed like Mirage let out an annoyed huff. "Yes."

"How on Earth did that happen?"

"Bonecrusher," was all he could say to explain without losing her with his backwards speech.

"What did he do?"

Mirage sighed. "Wall the into me smacked he," he said, using his hand to backhand the air and pointed at the wall. "_This_ cause somehow to enough hard hit helm my." A gesture at his head allowed her to catch the meaning of what he had said.

"So he hit you, your head connected with the wall, and now you talk backwards?" Mirage looked so relieved that she had understood him that it led Victoria to believe that his speech problem had really been bugging him. "And Ratchet hasn't been able to fix it?" A negative shake of the head had her thoughtfully staring at him. "Well…did he try this?"

The brunette reached out and casually flicked his head. The unexpected attack sent the spy falling to the floor, which caused her to slightly smirk. Sunstreaker received a flick to the head on nearly a daily basis since his arrival, sometimes even multiple flicks if he didn't learn his lesson right off the bat, but not once had he fallen over because of them. Mirage hadn't even received half the force that the golden warrior did, but he looked just as insulted and angry as the other mech usually did, if not more.

"What was that for?" Mirage shouted at her. The anger drained from face as he suddenly grabbed his head. "I'm speaking correctly know. How-" He straightened, allowing his face to become neutral as he gave her a slight nod. "Thank you for…whatever it is you did. It appears that the one time Ratchet was hesitant to hit one of his patients with his infamous wrench was the one time it was actually _needed."_

"You're welcome," Victoria said, returning his nod with one of her own before standing back up and grabbing her paint pails. "Do you happen to know where the Diva is?"

Mirage hesitated before following after her as she headed to the front two rooms. "I believe he is with his brother restocking on what the Cassettes stole during their absence." He paused and watched her place one bucket in the kitchen and the other in the living room. Shuffling from one foot to the other, the Autobot silently watched the woman pull out another pail from a big bucket and pry it open with flat-headed screwdriver.

Victoria looked up when Mirage made slight sound with his vocalizer. "Did you need something else?"

Mirage sighed and made a "hurry up" gesture with his hand. "What type of payment would you like for your help?"

She blinked down at him in confusion. "What?"

"Payment," he repeated patiently and crossed his arms over his chest. "You managed to correct an anomaly that even our best medic could not. Surely you expect _something."_

Victoria blankly stared at him before abandoning the paint primer to unravel the plastic she planned to line around the walls to protect the carpet as she worked. It was bad enough that it was burned in some places; it didn't need paint stains to add to it. "Not really."

The spy didn't seem relieved by this and instead emitted a sound of annoyance. "Nothing? Not even a mech to report to you, _personally,_ about the Decepticons? Or foil the Twins in their pranks?"

"No," she repeated, placing the plastic where she wanted and moving on to the roll of tape. "Why so persistent? Shouldn't you be lounging on your couch or something now that you don't have to babysit Red Alert?"

Mirage chose not to answer and followed Victoria around the room as she put tape around the baseboards. "What about help with this…project of yours? An extra set of servos?"

Victoria finally paused to look back at her new and slightly unwanted follower. "Why don't you just accept that I want nothing?"

"And have you unexpectedly mention my debt later?" Mirage answered with a frown. "Please, I would rather fulfill whatever you wish now instead of days from now when you have had time to think. I learned a long time ago that it is best to clear your arrears earlier rather than later."

"A debt?" the brunette asked with surprise. "You're not _indebted_ to me Mirage. I didn't help you with the expectation of being paid or anything. I helped because you _needed _help."

The blue spy just shook his head. "I have always kept myself out of debt, and I am not stopping now."

Victoria sighed and tossed the roll of tape she had been using back into the bucket for safe keeping. "Fine, you can repay me by…" She paused to think while she poured a generous amount of the white paint into a paint stained tray. "Keeping me company as I put this on the wall."

Mirage blinked at the simple request, suspicion flaring up in his strange golden optics. "That's all you want?"

"Yes."

"And my debt will be repaid?"

"Yep."

"…such simple things make your kind happy."

"They sure do."

The former noble sighed and climbed onto the unopened pail to watch the human begin the task of covering the walls with new primer. He restrained a chuckle as he watched Victoria yelp as paint slid down her arm when she put too much of it on the paint roller. "This is simply boring. Are you sure there was nothing else I could have done?"

Victoria ignored his comment and rolled the primer onto the wall with a little more care. "How long has the war been going on?"

Mirage looked surprised by the question before shrugging. "Long enough for any hope of finding a middle ground between both factions to have long been extinguished."

Victoria hummed and moved down the wall, dragging along the small step ladder she was using to reach the higher parts of the wall. "A long time, huh?"

"Sometimes it's hard to remember what it was like before," Mirage confided with a hint of longing. "There are times I wished it had never happened. To return to the times of turbofox hunting and the elegant parties every other deca-cycle…instead, we are stuck with a war that will—if what you say of us is true—one day drag another, younger race into it."

"I see why we don't talk much. You're pretty gloomy when ya want to be," Victoria said, watching Mirage give her a half-shrug. "So, is that why you don't seem to get along with some of the others very well? Because, and I've noticed this since we first met, you seem like someone who's a little out of their element."

"Yes, I do in fact have a… pecunious background. It was not much of a shock to the rest of Cybertron when many of the upper-class categorized themselves as neutral, having no real reason or want to be a part of the brewing war." Mirage paused, and Victoria didn't stop painting to look back at him, allowing the tiny mech to think without feeling pressured to speak. "Even when they were legally labeled 'neutral,' many of my friends became more bias to one side, whether it was because it was a quick way to make a profit or because they believed more in one cause than the other. But there are very few former acquaintances that I know of that became an outright Autobot or Decepticon."

"Why did you?" Victoria asked, moving further away from him. "Wouldn't it have made sense to stick with the people you knew?"

The spy didn't speak for a while, long enough for the woman to actually get most of the room covered in paint and more than a little lightheaded from the fumes she was forced to inhale. She had just made it to the other side of the room from her starting point and was glaring at the entertainment system hindering her progress (this was why she didn't do stuff like this. She didn't often think it through) when Mirage spoke up again. "I suppose I believed more in the Autobots than the Decepticons."

Victoria turned slightly to see that he had silently moved from his pail to the couch and was watching her vain attempts to move one end of the entertainment center. "You don't sound very confident."

Mirage stared at her with carefully blank golden optics before shrugging. "Truthfully, I still hope that one day this war will end with both factions coming to an agreement of some sort, but seeing how much both sides equally hate each other, I realize that that may never be a plausible outcome. The Autobots seemed to be the most…civil of the two." The aristocrat paused. "I do not wish for this to seem like a change in topic, but what in Primus' name are you doing?"

Victoria stopped her wimpy efforts and felt her face heat up in embarrassment at the fact that she was actually panting from the exertions. "I have to paint the wall behind here."

"Why not paint around it?"

"If I do that then there'll be an entire space of neon orange when it's moved."

"Sell the center with the house. That way it will never need to be moved, and if the next owners do eventually move it, it will be their problem to deal with."

Victoria stared at the furniture in thought. "That's not a bad idea. Toss me that tape over there."

Mirage let out a sigh and jumped off the couch to retrieve the requested item. As he was doing that, Victoria asked, "So how come you get along better with Jazz than, say, Prowl or Optimus?"

"I have worked under Jazz in Special Ops since the beginning of my work as an Autobot," the blue spy explained, passing the roll up to her and returning to the couch to watch. "Believe me, he was a pain in my side for the longest time, but I imagine his pestering is what landed him the position as Prowl's friend, or 'the-annoyance-that-will-not-take-no-for-an-answer' as Prowl so lovingly christened him."

The brunette lightly laughed at the nickname as she finished outlining the center's form, missing some on the top due to her short arm length. With a sigh, she haphazardly tossed the tape back over and surprised them both by actually ringing the bucket. She took a step back, falling down onto the couch beside the mech, and stared up at small patch of orange wall above the TV that she would never be able to reach. "So, being rich and all, you must have had the time to pick up some hobbies. Was painting one of those?"

Victoria laughed at the poorly concealed groan Mirage released.

**[~]**

"What are you doing?"

"Reconnaissance. You should watch with me."

"I have duties to perform."

"Come on! Take a break an' watch how cute Vicky was."

"I will repeat the simpler version for your benefit: I am busy. Speaking of which, don't _you_ have a job to do?"

"Ah can't."

"And why not?"

"My legs are broken."

Prowl sighed as Jazz happily grinned from where he lounged between two oversized pillows with Victoria's laptop set up in front of him. There was no point in trying to persuade the TIC to move, and Prowl decided to save his energy. Instead he turned to slide down the bed, finding it ironic that the instant his pedes hit the floor, Jazz was calling after him. "Prowl, throw me da power cord!"

"Why?"

"The computer's goin' dead!"

The tactician looked over at said cord and crossed his arms over his bumper. "I suppose it's a terrible thing that your legs are 'broken.'"

"Oh, Ah see how it's gonna be. You're jealous that lil' Vicky put me on top!"

Prowl's head twitched as his logical processor temporarily glitched. Well, at least it wasn't as bad as the first time Victoria casually mentioned about making them "make-out." Or when she felt the need to show them the visual evidence of her past act.

"Ah can't believe you doin' dis to a brotha'," Jazz continued when his fellow officer refused to comment. "Lettin' your jealousy treat a broken legged 'bot dis way."

Prowl shook his head and began to retreat back to base. "A couple of cycles with little to no action has made you lazier than you were before."

"Ah'm enjoyin' my mini-vacation, unlike some mechs." Jazz's helm finally popped over the side of the bed to grin, only for it to turn upside down when he realized the mech he was talking to wasn't there anymore. "What the- hey! Prowler, Ah really do need that power cord!"

Prowl ignored him and stepped into the first shelf of the bookcase, Ratchet and Swoop ignoring him as the older medic painstakingly explained something to the trainee while using Red Alert's currently stasis-locked body as a visual. The SIC merely glanced at them as he used the improvised ladder (made of confiscated rubber bands and toothpicks) to climb to the second shelf where Optimus and Ironhide were speaking. "I'm tellin' ya Prime. Those 'Cons are gettin' suspicious about what Wheeljack's doin', even more so after findin' those discs."

Optimus looked strange in his current position of lounging on Mirage's pink couch. "Perhaps…it may not be a bad idea to tell the Decepticons."

Even Prowl, who was normally able to keep his emotions under control, looked surprised by the leader's suggestion. "Prime have ya lost ya mind?"

The red and blue mech sent Ironhide a brief glare before shaking his head. "If Megatron is shown that this war is dragged on to the point of involving another planet, then perhaps he may be willing to make an agreement. Victoria confessed to us being a cartoon in this dimension. Perhaps she could find it and allow us all to watch."

Prowl had managed to school his expression back to neutral, but his slightly twitching door-wings gave away what he thought of the idea. Optimus and Ironhide looked towards him as the mech stepped into the conversation with ease. "Optimus, is that wise? We do not even know if those 'cartoons' are really us. Victoria has also discovered that there are multiple continuities that involve us. What is to say that we belong in one dimension but the cartoon belongs to another? What is to say that any of these stories the humans created as entertainment are even _real_? There may not even be a reference to our reality in any of them."

The red mech groaned and leaned back into the chair he was sitting in. "This is gettin' too fraggin' complicated. Continuities, dimensions, what's real and what's not—what happened to the simple times when Cybertron was the only slaggin' thing we knew? I blame Wheeljack for this."

Optimus silently agreed, but since they were there, they would have to deal with their new-found knowledge. "Even so, it still may prove to be worth giving it a shot. It seems that whichever dimension we may be in, we encounter the humans."

"Or perhaps there is one in which we _don't," _Prowl argued logically.

"We have landed in one that says we should not even exist outside of a child's cartoon," Optimus argued right back, his battle mask hiding his grin as his SIC frowned. "I believe it may be safe to say that the humans are part of our destiny, whether we like it or not. If that proves true through every reality, then perhaps there may be other similarities between them all."

Ironhide chuckled at how put out Prowl appeared for a second before falling back into his professional stance. "I still think it is a bad idea. The Decepticons could simply use the knowledge they gain against us."

"We will speak with the other present officers before making a final decision," Optimus conceded, straightening up as something caught his attention. "I believe you may have a pair of mechs to deal with at the moment."

Prowl followed his gaze and almost groaned. Since the Twins had first joined their division, it seemed as if the responsibility for punishing them had fallen on his shoulders. After all, Prime had more important things to do and Jazz would have happily turned an optic to their pranks. He glared at a chuckling Ironhide before climbing back down the ladder to intercept the pranksters and their Praxian follower. "What are you two doing?"

For once, Sunstreaker wasn't the twin who looked angry. Sideswipe glared at the officer before growling. "I hate those stupid Cassettes! They took all the good stuff, stuff that we had _painstakingly_ collected the entire time we've been here, and now we can't find anything to replace it with. Next time I see them, I'll take their own pile drivers and shove it up their-"

"No computer!" Jazz's yell interrupted as he jumped off the bed to grab the power cord. "Don't give up on me yet! Ah gotta know if Ah survive da overgrown Ravage!"

Bluestreak laughed at the saboteur, but Sideswipe still looked to be in a foul mood. After checking that none of them had anything worth confiscating, Prowl allowed them join Jazz on the bed with the now dead computer. "Come on computer. Live! Ah was just gettin' ta da good part."

Prowl shook his head with a sigh at his friend's antics before blinking at the new mech stepping into the room. "What have you been doing?"

Mirage gave him a glare before continuing to drag a wet washcloth behind him. "I have paid my debt and never plan to allow Victoria to put me in that same position again."

The Praxian watched him walk by and tried to hide a smirk. "Were you attempting to blend in with the snow Mirage?"

The noble-mech let out an annoyed yell as he attempted to look at his now completely white backside. "I will never paint again!"

Sunstreaker abandoned climbing up the bed to join the two. "Paint? Who's painting?"

"Victoria," Mirage said simply. The yellow front-liner's glare prompted him to continue. "She is repainting the whole living room as well as the kitchen. I am sure that I would have been recruited to put the final color on if Skywarp had not appeared and volunteered his help."

Sunstreaker snorted and headed back out the door. "She should have come to a professional. Settling for the mediocre talents of a rich pansy and jet when _I _was available."

Sideswipe noticed his brother leaving and immediately followed, and Bluestreak, after realizing that Jazz might have potentially broke Victoria's computer since it wasn't turning back on, ran out after them. Mirage huffed at the artist's insult and left Prowl to join Optimus and Ironhide in the second shelf, muttering the whole way. Jazz was still speaking to the laptop as Prowl went to join the Autobots at base. The SIC glanced over, smirking as he found the cause of the saboteur's problems. But Jazz had been watching the computer all day, and he figured it was about time the mech found something more productive to do, so he continued without mentioning that the cord wasn't plugged into the outlet beside the bed.

**[~]**

Thundercracker resisted the urge to growl as he hovered behind Skywarp, who was using a tiny paint roller to get the high parts of the wall that Victoria couldn't. The youngest Seeker had been ignoring him since he had arrived and didn't so much as twitch at the annoyed sound of a jet engine behind him. "Skywarp, I know you can hear me. Now stop being childish and respond."

The tiny insult did nothing, and Skywarp actually flew back down to get more paint before resuming his new job. Below them, the two front-liners and their Praxian friend were using tiny brushes to paint the wall as well, though the only one who appeared to be taking it seriously was the yellow angry one. His red brother was actually encouraging the younger mech to draw a strange symbol that consisted of two humps on top and pointed end at the bottom before calling over to gain Victoria's attention.

Thundercracker noticed all of this out of the corner of his optics as he focused on his brother before him. _:Skywarp, stop ignoring me.:_

This gained a little huff of annoyance, but Skywarp continued with what he was doing with only a flick of the wings that clearly said, "Go away."

**~Skywarp if you don't turn around and talk to me this instant, I'll-~**

The blue Seeker finally got what he wanted, but he didn't expect the intense anger of the glare that the younger mech sent him. "Primus Thundercracker! Can't you take a hint? I don't wanna talk to you or Starscream right now. And way to get back on my good side—treating me like a little Seekerlet? That'll _surely_ make me happy."

Thundercracker sighed as Skywarp flew away from him and started painting a new section of the wall. "How many times can I say I'm sorry? And I mean it for the both of us; you know how Starscream is with admitting out loud that he was wrong. But what else can I do? You're ignoring us, refusing to come back to base even when Megatron orders you to, which by the way is not smart. You're just giving him more reasons to offline you. You've never been this mad before, and I don't know what to do."

Skywarp sighed but still retained his glare as he turned back to his trine mate. "Saying sorry isn't gonna solve everything. I know I'm not as smart as 'Screamer or as calm as you, but you guys are always treating me like I'm still a youngling! I'm tired of not being taken seriously, and until you guys start treating me like the full-grown Seeker I am…well, I'll think of something to do later. Until then, just stop bugging me!"

The teleporter turned his attention back to the wall, ignoring the yells from below after his roller had dripped paint on the Autobots below them during his speech. Thundercracker sighed and stared at the Seeker's wings. "If we get back on Victoria's good side will that help?"

Skywarp paused and looked back at him with surprise. "Uh…maybe? But I don't see that happening. She was pretty mad with what you did."

An idea came to the navy jet, and a quick smirk flitted across his face. "I know _exactly_ how to make up for it."

Skywarp watched his brother fly out of the room with suspicion. What did TC have up his metaphorical sleeve?

"Hey cloudhugger, pay attention to what you're doing! You're messing up my paint job down here."

The purple and black Seeker glanced down to see Sunstreaker angrily glaring up at him. "You could use a good detailing, _if you know what I mean."_

He smirked as the Autobot began to shout curses and threats, gaining unwanted attention from the female across the room. Meanwhile, Thundercracker had just made it back to the utility room, transforming from his jet mode just in time to yelp and dodge a sudden blast of gunfire. He glared at the mech who had shot him. "We're on the same side Bonecrusher!"

The tan tank scoffed and duck back into his dryer where Thundercracker could barely make out the form of Barricade recharging at the back of the appliance. Lazy mechs that rarely left the room…at least Bonecrusher never left. Barricade had a tendency to vanish sometimes and show back up to swat at Frenzy or something. Details aside, neither of them ranked very high for Thundercracker's respect, and he glared at them as he glided over to join Starscream on top of the washing machine.

Starscream quickly let the door of the washer fall shut with a loud bang, instantly making Bonecrusher yell up at him, to which he retaliated with a few screeches of his own before turning to Thundercracker. "Well?"

The blue jet shook his head, and Starscream's wings visibly slumped before tensing back up. "Annoying, hardhelmed, childish-"

"I have an idea that will get us back on his good side though," Thundercracker interrupted before Starscream really got started. "He said that if we get back on _Victoria's_ good side, then he'll forgive us." He paused. "Well, he didn't exactly say that, but I'm pretty sure he'll be too surprised to stay angry."

Starscream kicked at the washing machine and crossed his arms in a dejectedly resigned way. "Why are we even bothering with this? I'm the trine leader; I should able to just order him to forgive us and reopen his side of the bond!"

Thundercracker shook his head. "You know it doesn't work that way. You're authority can only go so far, and it can't force his end of the bond open. If you do, you run the risk of actually hurting him." The Air Commander felt annoyed. He made sure he channeled that through the bond, making the only other member of the trine who could feel it to shrug. "I'm just stating facts."

The annoyance shifted to acceptance once more, and Starscream sighed. "Fine. What are we going to do?"

"Well," Thundercracker started as a brief feeling of uncertainty surfaced before he squashed it down with determination. "Victoria got upset about the destruction of the pictures, right?"

"Yes."

"And she's actually madder at you than us."

Starscream glared before saying through gritted denta, "Yes."

"So it makes since that if one picture had survived the…event and _you_ gave it to her willingly, then she might forgive us."

Starscream stared at Thundercracker in annoyance before it shifted to suspicion, then understanding, and finally fierce determination. "No, you'll never take my pretty!"

"Oh, now who's being childish?" Thundercracker cried after Starscream, who had transformed and immediately aimed for the door. "Starscream give me the picture!"

"No, it's mine! Skywarp can block us forever; I'll find a way to deal with the pain!"

"_Starscream!"_

"_No!"_

Bonecrusher watched the two Seekers chase each other in circles before shooting out of the room. He snorted. "I always knew those flyers had a few loose screws."

**[~]**

Bluestreak sighed as he put the paintbrush down, careful to keep the wet paint on the plastic. Jeez, he never knew how much hard work this was! And it was even harder with Sideswipe beside him telling him to paint pictures instead of just painting the wall. And what was he even painting? All he knew was that Sides was eager for him to do it then show Victoria afterwards. Victoria had just rolled her eyes at the prankster and told him to behave then flicked Sunstreaker for some vulgar statement he yelled at Skywarp.

Somehow they had finished the living room and moved on into the kitchen. Dark red paint changed to a bright green that made Sunstreaker complain about how it didn't go with the color of the living room. Sunstreaker was now covered in flecks of green and was not a very happy camper.

"Look here Blue!"

Bluestreak looked up to see Sideswipe proudly standing in front of a simple painting of a flower. "That looks…nice Sides. But what exactly are you trying to do by drawing those pictures? I mean, they'll be covered by the paint when we finally- oh wait. There it goes."

Sideswipe spun around in time to see his brother finish the diagonal mark through his picture. "Sunny, I'm trying to demonstrate something to Blue!"

Sunstreaker grumbled his customary "don't call me that!" before saying, "Give it up Sides. If Bluestreak hasn't realized that you're trying to hook him up with the squishy, he isn't gonna! Besides, who would want to be with her anyway? We could find someone ten times better than stuffy Vicky."

"Hey! Don't talk about her that way!" Bluestreak immediately defended, brandishing his deadly paintbrush at the rude twin. "She's going through a lot right now, and she doesn't need to add you to that list. Well, I'm pretty sure you're already on the list somewhere, but you're not to the point where she's shoving you down the garbage disposal, so be happy about that!"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stared at him, Sunstreaker keeping an optic more on the green paint than the mech. Sideswipe's look of surprise morphed into a victorious grin as he nudged his brother. "See, see! I told you there was more to it than 'we're just friends!'"

Sunstreaker snorted at his brother's exaggerated air quotes and turned back to the wall, leaving a confused gunner to deal with the other front-liner. "That's not –I mean –it's just –stop grinning at me like that Sides!"

Sideswipe ignored the uncharacteristically speechless Bluestreak's order and threw an arm over his shoulder. "Don't worry Blue; I've got your back even if Sunshine doesn't."

"Don't call me that."

"Now tell me when you realized you were in love with Victoria. Maybe we can do like the humans on TV and find a way to incorporate that into the moment when you confess your feelings."

Bluestreak blinked as Sideswipe suddenly went down with a loud "clang," the wrench used to knock him over ricocheting off to hit Sunstreaker in the back of the helm as well. He looked behind him to find Ratchet rubbing his servos in a very pleased manner as he walked over to join them. "What's the human saying? 'Hit two birds with one stone'? Well, now I know how fulfilling an action it can be."

"I think it's supposed to metaphorical or something Ratch'," Sideswipe said with a wince as he stood back up. "What was that for anyway? We haven't bugged you all day."

"Preemptive measure," Ratchet replied as he glanced over at the young gunner who had immediately sidled up to him. "What were you doing to Bluestreak? He looks petrified."

"A better question is what are you doing here?" Sideswipe retaliated as he tried to get back to his friend. Bluestreak ducked behind Ratchet and made a break for Swoop and Victoria, who were on the other side of the room opening the window above the sink with an insistent Laserbeak flying around them. "Oh come on! I'm only trying to help!"

Sunstreaker snorted and went back to painting, leaving the medic as confused as before. "Help him what? I'm pretty sure whatever it is, Bluestreak would have a better chance of doing it right without _your _help."

"That hurts Hatchet. Right in the spark."

Ratchet snorted and was temporarily distracted by the pair of jets that flew in, yelling at each other about some picture before zooming back out of the room. To his amusement, the low-level sonic boom that Thundercracker left in his wake made Victoria jump and nearly trap Laserbeak on the wrong side of the window. He turned his attention back to the Twins. "Oh please, whatever pain I've caused you, I'm sure you'll live through it. I just came to warn you two that Red Alert has been brought back online and if anything or _anyone_ causes him to glitch again during the rest of the cycle, I'll have your heads."

"Evil medic," Sideswipe muttered under his breath as Ratchet retreated across the room, most likely to ask Bluestreak what they had been doing before he walked into the room. "You know, I wish something would happen to him that we couldn't be blamed for. Like if he fell into the paint bucket and had to walk around looking green for the rest of the day."

He stopped before slowly turning to grin at his twin, who actually returned it. "Where did Skywarp get off to?"

**[~]**

"Stay still Ratchet, I'm trying–"

"Stay still? I'd like to see you remain still after being picked up and _dropped_ into a fragging pail of _green_ paint!"

Victoria sighed as she tried to get the paint off of Ratchet's arm and failed miserably. The paint refused to come off. "At least you look…good in it."

This earned her a glare that was normally reserved for the Twin Horrors. "Yes, let's at least be thankful that green looks good on me! Now I would prefer my red and white paint scheme, thank you very much!"

The human sighed again and tossed the useless rag aside. "Come on. I'm sure there's some paint upstairs we can use to somehow restore you to your right colors. We'll pick Mirage up on the way since I turned his butt white."

Despite how angry he was, Victoria's statement managed to get short chuckle out of the CMO. "Red Alert was slightly disturbed by that sight when he came back online."

Ratchet hopped up onto her hand and sat there as she turned to the three mechs responsible for this mess. "As happy as I am to see a Decepticon and two Autobots managing to work together, you've not only managed to paint a CMO green but you splashed paint all over the floor and left little footprints all over the kitchen. Now scrub your feet off before you walk on the carpet. I can clean up what you left behind on the tile but carpet is an entirely different matter."

Victoria and Ratchet left the room, leaving behind three pranksters and three innocent bystanders. Swoop, bystander one, waited until they had left the room to say, "Big trouble when he Ratchet get done."

"Nu uh," Sideswipe instantly argued. "_We_ didn't do anything to him. It was all Skywarp's doing."

Skywarp tried to look angry at the blame being squarely placed on his shoulders, but he couldn't fight the grin that broke through his façade. "Did you see his face when resurfaced?"

"That's nothing compared to the look he had when you grabbed him," Sideswipe said with a laugh. Sunstreaker cracked a small smile as he remembered the look of shock and fear on the medic's face before glaring once more at the Seeker. This was a one-time deal, so he didn't want the pranking jet to get any ideas.

"What even possessed you guys to that to _Ratchet?"_ Bluestreak asked. "He'll probably carry out his threat to reprogram you guys into toasters now."

Sideswipe waved off the comment. "He'll be fine once he's the right color again. Besides, everyone got a good laugh out of it and that's what counts."

The small group silently stood in their loose circle until it slowly became awkward and one of them was compelled to speak. "This doesn't change anything between us 'Con."

"Wouldn't dream of it Autoscum," Skywarp answered the yellow mech as Laserbeak reluctantly vacated Swoop's shoulder to join Skywarp on the other side of the invisible faction line.

**[~]**

**~Starscream get back here!~**

**~You'll never take me alive!~**

Thundercracker felt his patience thinning as his trine leader crazily weaved through the air in an attempt to throw him off. **~Starscream, this has gone on long enough! Be a good leader and accept defeat.~**

"_Perhaps defeat wasn't the best choice of words," _he thought as a new wave of determination came from Starscream's end on the bond. Their chase had nearly turned into a game to see who could go on the longest—Starscream and his reluctance to let go of his picture versus Thundercracker and his determination to get back on Skywarp's good side. It was getting really close now as Starscream was running low on energy while Thundercracker had thought to preserve.

Now he took those preserves and kicked it into gear, reaching the SIC in record time and transforming to grasp the jet's tailfins and knock him out of the sky. Starscream shrieked the whole way down before transforming at the last moment to land harmlessly on his feet. "What was that for?"

Thundercracker didn't give him a chance to escape and immediately fell on him. "'What was that for?' How about because you've been flying around like an idiot! Now give it to me before I take it myself!"

There was a noise behind them, and they turned to see that their random flight pattern had taken them to the exact place their host was along with the two Autobots she appeared to repainting. Thundercracker immediately stood up in hopes of regaining what little composure he had at the moment, but Starscream spread out further on the floor. "Did you see that? Not only does Megatron take his anger out on me, but my own _brother_ is turning against me!"

Thundercracker sputtered as Victoria's eyebrows shot up at the tri-colored jet's cries of anguish. "It's not what it looks like! You see–"

"I've already lost one brother and the other is turning on me!" Starscream screeched pitifully. He hid his face behind his servos and inched closer to the woman on his knees. "One member of a trine can't function properly without their brothers!"

Right before his optics, Victoria's exasperation turned to curiosity as she put her small paintbrush down, much to the medic's annoyance. "What's a trine?"

"It's a group of three Seekers," Ratchet explained. "Just ignore 'Screamer's dramatics, Victoria. He's always been a little drama queen."

Starscream tensed as if to jump up and deny the allegation but instead remained in the pitiful ball he had managed to curl up into beside the woman's foot. Thundercracker sighed at the antics, but he wasn't about to let Victoria's attention on them just pass by. Starscream had brought up the mention of the trine bond for a reason. "It's more than just a group of Seekers. We form a bond together when we're still little Seekerlets. It's like the bond between…siblings. The moment the bond is established, the Seekers within that trine are brothers or, on the rare occasion, sisters." He looked directly up at Victoria as he said the next part, "If someone from the bond is lost, whether from death or choosing to close his brothers off, it _deeply_ affects the others."

"Sometimes it can drive them crazy when the presence that has been there since youngling-hood is suddenly gone," Starscream piped up as he stood and pointed at his blue brother. "Take Thundercracker for instance. He's completely lost it since Skywarp shut us out."

Thundercracker glared but let the insult go as he turned his attention back to the human. Victoria looked vaguely upset, no doubt comparing their current strife with Skywarp with the one that occurred between her and her brother, but it wasn't enough to gain her pity or forgiveness as she shrugged and turned back to Ratchet, who had almost lost patience and convinced Mirage to finish his paint job. "I'm sorry for what's happening between you and your…brother, but I still don't forgive you for what you did."

Starscream's wings wilted a bit. So, his plan of manipulation didn't exactly work. No matter; there was always room for a plan-

"Invasion of personal space!"

"Shut up and give me the picture!"

The three onlookers watched with surprise as the bigger of the two Seekers jumped his companion. Starscream put up a good fight, with plenty of screeches and threats, but Thundercracker was bigger and surprisingly forceful and soon had the small jet screeching in offense as he gained access to the tri-colored Seeker's subspace and pulled out a compacted piece of paper. Starscream tried to roll away with a vicious glare, but Thundercracker kept him firmly in place. He hissed something in their native language and pointedly shoved the paper against Starscream's cockpit. They silently glared at each other before suddenly standing back up as if nothing had happened.

"What…just happened?" Mirage asked in confusion as Thundercracker practically shoved Starscream in their direction.

"Not many ground models know the way of Seekers," Ratchet answered with immense curiosity that would have rivaled that of Wheeljack's. "But I think we just witnessed an argument."

Victoria stayed silent as Starscream hovered up to her height. He looked back down at Thundercracker and groaned at whatever his brother had silently told him. "Here. I didn't destroy all of the drawings like you thought." He gritted his denta at the next part Thundercracker was coaching to say. "As a form of apology…I'm returning the one I took. Please accept it…and tell Skywarp he's being hardheaded and we miss him."

Thundercracker smiled as the last part had come completely from Starscream. He could deny it all he wanted, but he missed Skywarp's presence as much as his brother did. Victoria looked decidedly neutral as she accepted the peace offering and began to carefully unfold it. Ratchet and Mirage inched forward to catch a glimpse of what was on the paper, and Mirage let out a sound of approval. "It is very rare to find a portrait such as this."

"I actually agree," Ratchet said, and none of them noticed how Starscream seemed to puff up. "It's hard enough to capture a still image of him let alone keep Prime still long enough for a drawing to be done of him."

Ears and audials were covered as a high-pitched screech of "What!" echoed through the room. Starscream flew over the paper to see what they were looking at and almost choked. "But–that–when did I pick up at picture of _Optimus?"_

"_Is this what the human's call karma?"_ Thundercracker thought as Starscream began a full out spazz attack. _"If so, then Starscream has _a lot_ more coming to him."_

"It must have happened when I took it out to stare at it," Starscream was saying as the Autobots continued to admire the sketch. "I was ripping the Optimus picture from the wall at the time when they both fell. I must have mistaken it for me when I went to look for my picture. That means…_I've had Optimus Prime in my subspace!"_

Thundercracker finally started laughing as Starscream freaked out and flew out of the room. He sobered when he realized Victoria was staring at him and waited somberly as she gave her verdict. "I…forgive you."

"Really?" he asked with surprise. True, he had been hoping his plan would work, but he hadn't _actually_ expected it to.

"Not because of the picture, though it did help," Victoria explained as she put the image in a safe place and away from the paint she was handling. "In the past couple of days, I've learned that holding a grudge doesn't help anyone. I'm not letting my grudge come between you two and your brother." She noticed the surprise that flashed across his face. "Yes, I figured out that seeking my forgiveness somehow involved gaining it from Skywarp. I've told Starscream before that he needs to be more subtle.

"Essentially, I'm doing this for Skywarp," she continued, turning back around to pick up the tube of red paint she had been preparing to use. "If what you said about the bond between you three is true, then none of you deserve to be in pain because of the loss of a brother. You two may have lost one, but Skywarp has lost two. So, go tell him I've forgiven you and figure out how to make good with him."

Thundercracker nodded at her dismissal and left the room before she could take it back. Mirage watched him leave and turned back to watch Victoria carefully drag a small round headed brush across Ratchet's helm, turning green into a red that closely matched the original color. "You will forgive a pair 'Cons that easily? I still do not exactly know what they did to gain your rage, but you were severely upset yesterday."

"I may have forgiven them but my threat against them still holds," she answered, carefully painting the parts that Ratchet pointed out to her. "I was serious about not holding grudges though. The one I held onto the longest has led me to this situation, and I'm not eager to create anymore so soon after…" She trailed off as she began to scrap her fingernail against the spot where Ratchet's windshield would be. He tensed a bit before relaxing again and allowing her to scrap the green paint off. "If this stuff would come off easier, we could have just scraped it all off."

"I think not," Ratchet grumbled as he watched the paint come off in small chips. "Do you have any idea of how painful that could be? One spot is fine but scrapping it off your entire body is another thing."

Mirage watched in silence, never commenting on how Victoria had never finished her original sentence and actually changing the topic to Jazz's sudden disappearance after Victoria's computer refused to come back on. If Jazz could wait for her to openly acknowledge her brother's death in front of them all, then so could he.

**[~]**

It was easy to find Skywarp after leaving Victoria. He was still in the kitchen where Thundercracker had seen him earlier while chasing Starscream, only instead of painting the walls, he had found a piece of paper and was carefully using his finger and some of the green paint to draw a picture. Thundercracker paused as he suddenly had a flashback to the first time he had met Skywarp.

They had actually met long before Starscream had come into the picture, since the third Seeker had lived in another section of Vos that they never visited. It happened when Thundercracker's creators had decided he was ready to go to what would be the equivalent of a human daycare. At the time, the blue Seekerlet could have cared less about going to a facility where he could interact with other Seekers in his age bracket. Heck, the maturity he exhibited even at that age made him a better companion to the mechs and femmes his creators mingled with. So, it wasn't very surprising when he found the Seekerlets at the daycare not worth his time. For the first few deca-cycles, he had stayed isolated from the others, clicking in annoyance when the daycare workers forced him to interact with them.

Then one day, a little black and purple mechling was dropped off for the first time. Thundercracker remembered that day because it was the first of many times he would see the workers of the daycare at a lost for what to do with the new energetic sparkling. Of course, he had treated the Seekerlet like any other, avoiding him and feeling annoyed when he was placed beside him during art time. He always hated that time because he would have rather spent it trying to figure out how to read the datapads they had lying around since no one else would read them to him when he wanted them to.

Thundercracker remembered staring moodily at the table when he felt a thick glob hit the side of the vents on his helm and slowly trail down until it hit his shoulder, where it eventually trickled down his back and in-between what was then just the little, premature wing nubs of his first frame. He had looked up in surprise to see a mischievous little jet grinning at him before taking another wad of paint and chucking it at the closest daycare worker.

Vorns later when they finally found Starscream (or Skywarp did and promptly tackled in the middle of the street, but that was a story for another time), Thundercracker could never explain why he had continued to stay with Skywarp. By the time anyone had even bothered to ask, the beginnings of the trine bond had already formed, and neither Skywarp nor Thundercracker really cared for the specifics. They did exactly what members of many of the most famous trines did—balanced each other out. Calm and logical Thundercracker; creative and mischievous Skywarp; and (later) fierce and determined Starscream. It wasn't until they joined the Decepticons that a lot of problems between them began to surface.

Thundercracker shook his head to dispel those stray thoughts and hovered down to stand behind Skywarp. Glancing around, he found the small group of Autobots from earlier gathered in a corner on the other side of the room with Laserbeak sitting on the Dinobot's shoulder as if she belonged there. She must have been under orders from Soundwave to observe the Autobots; at least, that was the only reason Thundercracker could think of the raptor-like Cassette to be hanging around them.

He turned his attention back to the jet in front of him and frowned. "What are you drawing?"

Skywarp looked back at him before standing up to proudly show off his work. "It's the emblem for Victoria's faction."

Thundercracker stared at him in confusion, the reason for being there temporarily forgotten. "What?"

"Victoria's faction," Skywarp repeated and pointed at what looked like an image similar to the Jar-of-Solitary-Confinement with a proud "V" adorning it. "I can't exactly figure out a good insignia for her though. I was thinking having a picture of her flicking the Autobot, but I messed that up."

Thundercracker stared at his currently estranged brother. "Wait a minute. When did Victoria officially become a separate faction? I thought she was just 'neutral.'"

Skywarp scratched the top of his helm, not realizing that he left behind a streak of green paint. "She hasn't _officially_ announced it, but come on, she can't stay neutral forever."

The blue jet stared at his younger companion before shaking his head. "Whatever you say Skywarp. I just thought I'd let you know that Victoria has forgiven us."

Skywarp didn't look nearly as surprised as Thundercracker thought he would be, and it wasn't the first time that Thundercracker wished the wall he had erected around his side of the bond wasn't there. The teleporter shrugged and turned back to his picture. "Okay."

"Okay?" Thundercracker asked with surprise. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Well, yeah. What else do you want?"

"You know what I want 'Warp," Thundercracker said almost pleadingly. "Starscream's driving me insane since I'm the only one left for him to bounce his emotions off of. He's as antsy as I am since we can't feel you. It's like…you're not even there!"

Skywarp tilted his head at how desperate Thundercracker sounded. "Jeez TC, it's only been a day…"

"And you can't tell me that you don't feel it!" the navy jet interrupted. His wings twitched in agitation before he vented out a sigh. "Trine members aren't supposed to block others out like this for any length of time. Our sparks have become too in sync with each other that it makes them unstable when one of the members is blocking theirs. One of the side effects is going crazy like Starscream." Skywarp snickered at that since he had felt Starscream's little breakdown upstairs even through the blocked bond. Thundercracker smiled too before continuing. "My point is, you can stay angry at us for as long as you want to. But _please_ reopen your side of the bond so that we at least know you're still there."

Skywarp critically stared at his brother, and Thundercracker thought that the purple jet would continue to keep them out when his presence over the bond suddenly reappeared. The older Seeker perked up as Starscream's jittery emotions honed in on the other presence, making Skywarp visibly wince. "Whoa, what's going on with 'Screamer? He hasn't felt this way since that old, rustic Seeker tried to court him for nearly a stellar cycle."

Thundercracker laughed at the memory of the old jet, some acquaintance of Starscream's family unit, chasing the soon to be academy student around Vos. Something had happened during the "courting" that sent Starscream into a frenzy, and he wouldn't travel around the city without at least one of his trine mates with him until the older mech had finally taken a hint and backed off. "Starscream's been carrying around a picture of Optimus Prime without even realizing it. He freaked out a little when he gave it back to Victoria."

Skywarp laughed with him before suddenly sobering and giving his brother a critical stare. "I still don't completely forgive you."

Thundercracker sighed. He knew it had been too easy. "I thought as much. But now I can figure out how to earn it without constantly worrying about where you are or about Starscream's mental stability."

Skywarp lost the serious look and grinned before gesturing at his forgotten painting. "So tell me what you think about Victoria's new emblem. I just got the idea of maybe using like a smiley face or something, since the Decepticon and Autobot insignias are faces."

Thundercracker just smiled as he listened to Skywarp babble on about whatever idea came to mind. He had never realized before how sane Skywarp kept him and Starscream. Maybe the jet was right; his brothers had been treating him like a youngling for a while now. Thundercracker supposed it was time to the let the Seeker grow up and learn from the mistakes he made instead of trying to prevent them from happening.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I managed to get a chapter out today. Yay! :D And it only took me a day and a half to write, which is a new record for me. Hopefully, rushed editing didn't leave behind too many errors. I have absolutely no idea if I'll be updating next weekend though. I've got some family visiting this week and don't know if I'll have time to get the next chapter ready. And as embarrassing as it may sound, I've managed to somehow confuse myself with my own story :/ So, I'll actually be taking the time between typing, spending time with family, and celebrating a five-year old's b-day re-reading my own story. I knew I shouldn't have thrown my notebook away…

Until next weekend :D (maybe…hopefully)

**EDITED: 3/19/14 (Grammar, missing words, added a little to conversation between Prime, Ironhide, and Prowl, etc.)**


	16. Movie Night

**AN:** Gah! I feel terrible for missing my update day T_T This chapter took _way_ longer than I thought, and it sure didn't help that I only started it…Friday night…BUT I finished it, and it's happily been read by _Beowolf828_ :D All right, one thing to go over before starting: I went back and made Laserbeak a femme after a sudden stroke of genius. What was that genius? I'm pretty sure you can figure it out, but I won't be focusing on that this chapter ;p

Oh yeah: I've got over a hundred stinkin' reviews now! XD Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to get me to 110 reviews! It flabbergasts me that my story has gotten _that_ popular, especially since my original goal was only aimed at about 50 :D

_Joor: ~1 hour  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>

_"__Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>_**  
>~Bond Speech~<br>**__  
><em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Fifteen

Movie Night

* * *

><p><strong>Day 18<strong>

Victoria sorely wished she had a camera at the moment. Even a disposable one would do. Though, she highly doubted she would forget the sight the leading Autobot officers made. Seven, respected, and (for all intents and purposes) _male_ robots—all sitting at a pink, round table in even pinker, plastic chairs that were the perfect size for a Barbie©. It took everything she had not to embarrass them by laughing.

Fortunately, Sideswipe had already said something and got a wrench upside the head, so that curbed anything Victoria had to say. Speaking of the front-liner, all of the other Autobots were scattered in her lap where she sat on the floor in front of the bookshelf. The Twins sat scrunched up on her right knee (when it came down to it, apparently Sunstreaker wasn't that upset about giving up personal space for his brother), Bluestreak sat in the dip where her crossed legs met, and Mirage sat primly on her left knee, with his right leg crossed horizontally over his left and his servos clasped on top of the leg. Swoop was comfortably perched on her shoulder and looked eager to witness his first officer's meeting.

Victoria had no idea why she had been dragged into this to begin with, and she wouldn't have been there if it hadn't been Optimus himself who had asked that she listen in. It was understood that anything that was strictly Autobot business was not discussed with her. It was one of the few ways that the mechs continued to function on their own. Even if it was never acknowledged, most of the Autobots preferred not to become completely dependent on her—an understandable desire. But this meeting must have been big because they had not only the human listening in, but also all of the non-officers were allowed to watch.

"This is a rare occurrence," Optimus began, his attention solely on the onlookers for the moment. "Rarely are any other Autobots privy to what happens in these meetings, but this is a special case. With so few of us here, it seems foolish not to let all opinions on this matter be heard."

"I'm positive we could function without them," Ratchet muttered, glaring at the inventor sitting across the table from him, who just looked happy to be back in the house after the medic had kicked him out.

"Even so," Optimus continued, hardly fazed by the interruption. "Depending on which course of action we take, Victoria will need to be involved. She has a right to voice her opinion on it."

"Can we be part of the voting thing?" Sideswipe asked. He received an elbow to the gut and glared at his brother. "What? I've always wanted to vote on something!"

"Voting will be left to the officers," Prowl answered, pointedly placing a servo on top of Jazz's jumpy leg. The meeting hadn't even officially started and the saboteur was already jittery. A jittery Jazz was _never_ a good sign. "You will be allowed to voice your opinion at the end if you wish. Until then, stay quite or leave."

Swoop and Bluestreak nodded while Mirage sighed and the Twins got their overexcited energy out by repeatedly slapping at each other. Prowl sighed at their actions as Jazz and Ironhide chuckled. Red Alert looked eager to start, most likely already prepared with a dozen counter-arguments, while Wheeljack finally noticed Ratchet's glare and was sheepishly flashing his vocal fins at him. Ratchet looked unamused and continued to glare.

"Few of you already know why this meeting has been called," Optimus said, calling everyone's attention back to him. "It was an idea briefly discussed between Prowl, Ironhide, and myself. It is a well-known fact among the Autobots now of our status in this world." He watched his subordinates nod and from the corner of his optic caught Victoria putting a hand down on Sideswipe's helm to keep him from speaking. "The Decepticons are coming close to discovering this secret that we have kept to ourselves, so I bring you this proposal: we allow the Decepticons to become aware of what we already know."

The table was silent, with only Ironhide and Prowl not looking surprised at the Prime's idea. Red Alert looked like he was about to keel over at the absurdity of the idea, and Ratchet had completely forgotten about his anger towards Wheeljack, who was the only mech who looked highly intrigued. Jazz was doing a great impression of Prowl as he glanced around at everyone else, the jumpy feeling that always accompanied these meetings effectively stifled.

"I thought they already knew," Victoria said when no one else seemed to be able to speak. "It wasn't anything that was meant to be hidden."

Optimus shook his head. "We found it…imperative that we keep the knowledge to ourselves. At the time, we were not sure what Megatron would do with the information."

"We still don't!" Red Alert finally objected now that he had gotten over his surprise. "Anything they learn could easily and immediately be used against us."

"I agree with Red Alert," Ratchet chimed in, crossing his arms over his windshield. _"We_ haven't even watched those kid shows. There could be some very sensitive information about us in those shows."

Prowl nodded and looked expectantly at the TIC sitting beside him. He was vaguely surprised to find that Jazz was watching everyone else, as if he was trying to form an opinion of his own. Jazz was just one of those mechs who normally came into a meeting with an opinion already formed. He shook the thought away and turned his attention back to the table. "There is still the small matter of even figuring out which cartoon we may belong in, if any of them."

"Wait a minute," Wheeljack started, holding his hands up in a "stop" gesture. "There's more than one cartoon? When did you find this out?"

"Around the third time you blew yourself up," Ratchet answered, and Ironhide slightly chuckled when Wheeljack attempted to remember when that happened. "You were a little out of it, and we might have forgotten to mention it to you again."

"Well this changes everything!" the inventor said enthusiastically. "The possibility of multiple parallel universes—I'll have to modify the formula I used to be more accurate, not to mention figure out exactly which one we came from to begin with. Maybe I should research these cartoons…"

Red Alert looked at Wheeljack with a horrified expression. "You mean you weren't trying to be specific _before!"_

The engineer shrugged. "I thought it would be a simple roundabout trip. No one told me there were multiple possibilities."

The Lamborghini looked unimpressed by this excuse and turned to Optimus at the head of the table. "I suggest that this meeting take a slight detour to discuss the negligence on our engineer's part."

Wheeljack looked offended as his fins lit up a bright pink, and Optimus sighed. "We will talk about that _after _the meeting." He looked down the row at Ironhide and Jazz. "Ironhide, Jazz—we have yet to hear your thoughts."

The Weapons Specialist shrugged. "My opinion aint changed since yesterday. I thought it was a dumb idea then, and I still do."

The Prime nodded. A definite "no" from his old friend. He turned to Jazz. "Jazz?"

The Special Ops mech thoughtfully aimed his visor outside of the bookshelf. "How we gonna do this?"

Optimus followed his gaze and suddenly remembered there audience. Mirage had lost his casual pose and was watching the meeting with rapt attention; Bluestreak's door-wings were twitching and he looked as if he was having a difficult time forcing himself to remain silent; Sideswipe was getting help in that department via Sunstreaker, who casually held his twin in a choke hold with his servo slapped across the red mech's mouth; Swoop was whispering something into Victoria's ear, and she nodded as she watched the bookshelf with not as much interest as Mirage but interest all the same.

He turned his attention once more to Red Alert, who had sputtered at Jazz's question. "Wait a minute! We haven't even agreed to this yet!" He turned back to Optimus. "We can't allow the Decepticons to gain this knowledge. It isn't even the concern of them using it _here_ that I'm worried about; it's once we get back _home._"

"If this works, then there will be no reason to worry about that." All eyes focused on him. "Megatron continues this war with the belief that he will one day come out on top. By showing him that is _not_ the outcome that will occur, perhaps we can bring him to a point of negotiations."

"What says 'e's even gonna believe us?" Jazz asked, playing devil's advocate as he tried to decide whether or not to go through with this plan.

"Megatron cannot play this as mere coincidence," the Commander said, glancing at each officer sitting at the table with him. "I know my rival. He is more logical than you give him credit for, which is why he is even suspicious now. With enough evidence, I believe that Megatron can be convinced."

Half of the Autobots at the table still didn't look very swayed by Optimus' explanation. With a sigh, he looked out of the bookshelf to the six sitting there. "Is there anything you would like to voice?"

Sideswipe struggled to escape his brother's hold as Mirage said, "I believe it is worth a shot. We could end this war before it truly devastates our world."

"Yeah!" Bluestreak chimed in now that he was able to. "I mean, even if they don't believe us, we'll still learn as much about them as they do us. So we'd actually be pretty easily matched. Plus, a lot of human cartoons show the good guys winning since it's aimed towards younglings, so that might discourage the 'Cons a little more." Ratchet's resolute frown vanished, and he looked intrigued by this new information.

"I say nay!" Sideswipe yelled as he freed himself from Sunstreaker. "'Cons don't change that easily, and it's not worth it."

Sunstreaker grunted an agreement, and their fellow Lamborghini sitting at the table let out an exaggerated "Thank you!" Optimus shook his head at Red Alert and turned to Victoria. "Victoria, what is your view on this? We cannot do this without your cooperation. After all, you will be the one expending your time to find the correct videos for us."

Swoop leaned over to say something to the woman before she finally turned to address the Prime. "I have no problem with your plan. Like I said, none of this was purposely hidden from the Decepticons on my part, and you wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't worth trying. But Swoop has another suggestion."

Victoria paused to look at the Dinobot, but he huddled back to hide in the curtain of her hair when all optics focused on him. She sighed at how shy he had suddenly become before continuing for him. "Swoop thinks that it would be best if one Decepticon, preferably one of the smart ones, was shown to begin with. That way he would be able to break it to the other 'Cons. If they decide to believe him, then they can join us for a movie night. Bluestreak and Swoop have already been looking forward to watching the movies about you guys after I found them mixed in with the other movies in the living room."

Bluestreak perked up at the mention of a movie, and Jazz followed his example, grinning now that he had made his decision. Optimus looked back at the table. "Well, everyone's opinions and suggestions have been heard. I believe it is time we put it to a vote. Should we reveal our status here to the Decepticons?"

"No," Red Alert immediately said and crossed his arms across his chest. "I still think this is a horrible idea."

"Nope," Ironhide agreed with Red Alert. "Sideswipe's right: a 'Con don't change overnight."

"Well I think it's worth a shot," Wheeljack said with a shrug. "If we don't take this chance now, what's to say we'll ever have another? Like Mirage and Bluestreak said: we can end a war before it gets bad and we would be learning just as much about the Decepticons as they do us. It's sort of a win-win type of situation."

Ratchet glanced between Bluestreak and Wheeljack, sighing when it came for his turn to vote. "Well, I was going to agree with Ironhide and Red Alert, but Wheeljack makes a valid point too. I honestly can't say whether this is a good idea or not, so I'll have to stay indecisive. Sorry Prime."

Optimus nodded. He knew that Ratchet would only fall back on that option if he truly couldn't make a decision, and the medic wasn't the type to merely cast a vote on something this important. He turned to Prowl, who shook his head. "Your plan is dependent on a lot of 'maybes' and 'what ifs.' I cannot put my support behind it."

Jazz nudged his fellow officer. "Come on Prowler! Some o' da best plans have just as many of those!"

"I still cannot support it."

Jazz shrugged and turned to grin at Optimus. "Ah say go fo' it! As a matter o' fact, Ah've already got da perfect mech in mind."

The Prime studied each of his officers before sighing. "It seems we have encountered a tie. Half agree while the other half does not, and one of us is indecisive."

"Oh oh!" Sideswipe cried, waving his hands around to get their attention. "Tie-breakers! Over here!"

Prowl sighed and looked at the Prime. "We cannot-"

"And why not?" Jazz interrupted with a frown. "With so few o' us 'ere, their thoughts matter as much as ours. Nothin's gonna be decided if we leave 'ere with a tie."

Prowl glared as Ironhide chuckled at Sideswipe's enthusiasm. "Aw, let 'em! They aint never gonna have a chance like this again. 'Sides, we can blame 'em if this all goes south."

Optimus shook his head at the red mech's sense of humor before turning to the non-officers. "Alright. What is your vote?"

"No," Sideswipe and Sunstreaker said simultaneously, earning another impressed look from Red Alert.

"Yes," Mirage said a moment later. "I still believe this is worth the risk."

Bluestreak nodded. Swoop was the only one who didn't immediately answer and looked upset to have everyone's attention suddenly on him. He sidled closer to Victoria. "What me Swoop do? Last time me Swoop tell 'Con something upset you Victoria."

Victoria gave him a small smile as the others waited for his answer. "I've already told you that that wasn't your fault. Besides, I'll be helping with doing this, so there's no reason for me to get upset."

Swoop nodded and turned back to Optimus. "Me Swoop say yes."

Red Alert looked on the verge of passing out as Optimus nodded. "Six yeses, five nos. Now we need to decide how to go about this." Jazz's hand shot up, and Optimus almost chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Yes, Jazz?"

"Ah've got da perfect idea," he said, looking out a Victoria. "But Ah'm gonna need some help."

**[~]**

Soundwave looked at the mech standing in front of him with a heavy dose of suspicion. He wasn't exactly sure how he had ended up in his current predicament, but he did know that it had involved a shove from behind and a slammed door, most likely set up by the mech before him. However, the cobalt mech wasn't particularly concerned by this at the moment, and he twisted around to glare at the closed door. _:Frenzy: Report:_

_:What?: _came his Cassette's annoyed voice. _:Kinda busy here, boss. The human's givin' us permission to wreck the hallway.:_

Soundwave stared at the door. _:Repeat.:_

_:I said she's givin' us permission to wreck the hallway,:_ Frenzy repeated for his boss's benefit. _:She says we're gonna splatter paint everywhere 'cause she doesn't have a color for it or something. Me and Rumble already finished our surveillance for the day.:_

Soundwave felt the barely there question as his blue Cassette silently asked for permission. _:Ravage and Laserbeak.:_

_:The kitty's begging for pets and Beaky's chasing the Dino-dummy,: _Frenzy answered as Rumble rudely connected to the comm. link. _:Come on boss! This is the only time we're gonna get _permission_ to mess something up!:_

The emotionless mech resisted the urge to sigh as his twins ganged up on him, the pleas growing louder in volume until it got to the point where even _he_ was about to crack. _:Permission granted. Stay alert.:_

He was answered with a simultaneous _:Yeah, yeah: _before the link was broken, and he was forced to return to his present situation. Except when he turned, the Autobot was nowhere to be seen.

"You as bad as a creator and their sparklin' when it come ta your Cassettes." Soundwave looked up to see that Jazz had climbed up onto the human's berth and was smiling down at him. "Hurry up! Got some things ta do and not much time ta do 'em."

Soundwave took his time, observing his surroundings and finding it odd that the Autobot base was completely abandoned. The paranoid one tended to make sure there was someone there at all times. He climbed up the blanket and stood on the edge to watch Jazz carefully move the wireless mouse that was connected to the laptop. The screen was turned away from him, so there was no telling what the saboteur was looking at as he mumbled to himself, "Now, there's supposed ta be somethin'…is that it? Oh, wait! There's another…gonna click dis one!"

Jazz clicked the mouse and casually walked around the computer to stand a few feet in front of the silent Decepticon. They stared at each other for a moment, Soundwave blankly and Jazz with contemplation, before a grin spread across the saboteur's face. "What's da matter? Ah don't bite."

Soundwave resisted another urge to sigh at the mech's playful grin. "Inquiry: Purpose?"

Jazz slightly shifted his casual posture. "Well, ya remember those videos ya found upstairs?"

Soundwave nodded, though his suspicion grew. The Autobot wasn't about to _willingly_ give him information…was he? No, that's not how it worked. Each faction had to get their information the old fashioned way—by spying on each other. Information wasn't just _handed_ _out_ to each other.

But Jazz didn't seem to care about that unspoken rule as he continued. "Well, there's somethin' that should've been told ta y'all 'round the beginnin' o' our stay 'ere. Ya see Sounders-"

Soundwave interrupted him. "Designation: Soundwave."

"Hm," Jazz hummed, thrown off his beat. "Oh, Ah know that Sounders-"

"Soundwave."

"Wavey, we got more important things ta discuss." Jazz grinned at the glare that the telepath just couldn't hide behind his visor as it flashed a deep, dark red. "Long story short, we had to choose the one 'Con that would be easiest ta tell, an' we chose you!" Soundwave didn't look exactly thrilled by this exclamation, so Jazz kept going, "Ya saw the kiddies playin' with mini-us, right?" The telepath nodded after a moment. "Well…that was us."

Soundwave stared at him. "Statement: Illogical."

"Not really," Jazz assured him and pointed at his bumper where a jagged strip of paint had been scrapped off. "Ah don' know 'bout you, but Ah didn't 'ave dis damage 'fore comin' 'ere."

Soundwave looked down at the missing strips of paint on his own person. He had noticed it, of course, but what logical explanation was there for it? None. So he had dismissed it and moved on to other things. But now that it was brought back up…Soundwave shook his head. He was small now, but he wasn't a child's _toy._ "Theory: Illogical."

"Factor in 'Jackie an' there aint much that stays in da realm o' logic," Jazz said. "After all, _logically_ Wheeljack should be able ta make stuff without it explodin' by now. Or at least function in da way they're originally supposed to." He grinned as Soundwave had no comeback. "Back ta my point 'ere. Where we're at now, we're no more than a line of toys an' cartoons. Vicky's found da cartoons we're in, an' 'Jack's latest do-hickey zapped us inta some toys."

Soundwave frowned behind his mask as he remembered the explosion before waking up here. If what the Autobot said was true, then at least Soundwave could tell his leader how they had ended up here now. That question had been driving Megatron crazy. But…Soundwave wasn't so easily convinced of the toy and cartoon thing. "Proof."

"Ah thought you'd neva' ask." Jazz gestured for Soundwave to follow him around the computer. Once he had made it around, still standing a comfortable distance away from Jazz, the black and white mech clicked the mouse and stood back to watch with Soundwave.

A circle in the middle of the screen quickly spun as the video buffered before the screen changed quickly from black to show the Autobot and Decepticon emblems fly across the screen. He watched as Optimus quickly transformed, running towards them before the screen changed again, the words "Transformers" spinning before them. The Seekers appeared and that's when the song started.

"The Transformers. More than meets the eye! Autobots rage their battle to destroy the evil forces of…the Decepticons! The Transformers. Robots in disguise. The Transformers. More than meets the eye. The Transformers."

Jazz giggled as the song came to an end. "Ah like those lyrics. Definitely savin' 'em ta a memory file…"

Soundwave ignored Jazz as he intently watched the screen. A narrator began to speak as a picture of stars came on. He stiffened when Cybertron was mentioned and all but froze when the image of his home planet came into view. It certainly didn't look like it was now but…it was Cybertron. A more run down and destroyed Cybertron.

"Aw man!" Jazz said behind him. "How come Wheeljack's da first on screen?"

Soundwave focused back on the screen and saw the Autobot engineer holding two pairs of conductor rods with the annoying little yellow scout standing with him. He transformed and allowed the smaller of the two to climb in before leaving. Soundwave watched their confrontation with the Seekers with little to no interest, his mind focused on other things at the moment. Two Autobots, the Command Trine—how much longer until-

The telepath lost his indifference and jumped back from the screen as his form appeared. He watched himself—_himself_—eject Laserbeak, who flew up to spy through the glass roof (completely inaccurate since the Autobots had long ago learned to rectify _that_ problem). Soundwave was still trying to process what he was seeing when Jazz suddenly jumped forward with a grin. "Here we go! The handsomest mech has finally arrived on da scene."

Soundwave turned his attention back to the screen to see Jazz transform and speak to three other Autobots: Prowl, Optimus, and (he believed) Trailbreaker. The three spoke of finding new energy source before the scene cut to Megatron. He knew his visor brightened with surprise as he watched his leader speak to Shockwave and then Starscream. He had a strange urge to laugh at how scarily accurate this human animation had captured both Megatron and Starscream's personality in only those, roughly, twenty seconds.

Jazz made another comment at his brief appearance but remained quiet as he and communications mech watched the cartoon. They watched Decepticons and Autobots fight each other, causing the Autobot ship to crash into what Jazz already knew was Earth. He paused it was when the Decepticons were repaired and flying away from the _Ark. _"Tell me da truth: would you 'ave left us alive?"

"No," Soundwave immediately answered, impatient for the video to continue.

Jazz's visor flickered before he nodded. "Thought so. Just had ta make sure."

The episode continued, and they both watched in silence. After the initial shock, Soundwave wasn't really interested, but it was one of those things that you just couldn't stop watching. He wasn't particularly happy that they mistook Frenzy for Rumble but at least Laserbeak and Ravage were correct. He almost huffed at the end, after the Decepticons had flown off and the Autobots remained behind to help the humans. "Autobots: weak."

"Gotta save da humans," Jazz retaliated as the episode ended with a cliffhanger. An option to continue to the next episode popped up, but Jazz didn't click it yet. "Ah learned three things from that episode. One: ya talk more than you let on." Soundwave slightly shook his head. "Two: none o' us can aim for nothin'. And three: Ah was hands down the best character."

Soundwave chose not to reply as he clicked on the next episode. Jazz watched the Decepticon as the opening credits started again. "So…ya believin' what Ah said?"

Soundwave was quiet as the cartoon began with a recap of the episode they had just watched. "More evidence required."

Jazz grinned and settled down in front of the computer. He was getting into this little cartoon even if it wasn't a hundred percent accurate. One thing was for certain, he could tell Wheeljack to knock this universe off of the "Where Did We Come From?" list.

**[~]**

For the first time since they had met, Bluestreak felt the insane urge to shoot Sideswipe. Instead, his door-wings twitched in annoyance as Sideswipe once again tried to get him to draw romantic pictures on the wall. "Sideswipe, why can't we do like Rumble and Frenzy? They're just throwing the paint on the wall."

"Don't you wanna put _meaning_ behind it though?" Sideswipe said, and if they were human, Bluestreak bet the mech's eyebrows would be wriggling suggestively like some of the actors he had seen on TV do.

The sharpshooter frowned and covered his bumper with crossed arms. "Sides, I just wanna have fun. You're making me feel awkward around Victoria now."

Sideswipe frowned and looked down the hallway where the human in question was smiling and making finger paintings with Swoop, who sat on her shoulder, and, to his immense surprise, Skywarp. He never thought a Decepticon would be caught dead doing a sparkling-like activity. Sunstreaker stood below them, snarling when the Cassette twins flung their mini-brushes on his attempt to recreate the spires of Iacon. "What's so awkward?"

Bluestreak glared. "What's awkward? How about having to think about everything I do now? Or worrying that if I talk too much she'll grow tired of me? Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?"

Sideswipe watched his friend angrily send a streak of purple paint up the wall. It only reached halfway, but that hardly mattered since Victoria had told them that the entire white wall was their canvas. He watched Bluestreak cover all of the pictures he had drawn with more splashes of paint before being rebellious and writing "Bluestreak was here" right above the paint splatters. "Sunny was right. You _are_ kinda oblivious to this kind of stuff."

Bluestreak sputtered. "I am not oblivious to stuff that I don't have!"

"You don't even realize you're attracted to our squishy!"

"I am not!"

Sideswipe glared at the smaller mech before suddenly laughing. Bluestreak just glared harder, which made the front-liner laugh even harder, and growled. "Stop laughing!"

The former gladiator finally calmed down enough to speak. "Blue, you don't get mad at other mechs like Skywarp if there isn't _something_ there."

The gray sniper frowned. "I'm mad because he's a _'Con_, and Victoria deserves a lot more than one of those mindless killers. It's not because I fell anything romantic."

Sideswipe shook his head and picked up his little container of paint that Victoria had fixed for him. "You keep telling yourself that, Blue. You could have just told me to leave you alone."

"I _did_."

"But if you need my help, I'll be happy to give it!" Sideswipe finished as if he hadn't heard Bluestreak and walked over to join his brother, who was turning Rumble into a wonderful shade of blue almost similar to his brother.

Bluestreak glared at his back for a second before letting the anger out via a vented sigh. "You're a horrible matchmaker Sides." He looked up at the sound of a knock and turned to the only closed door in the hallway. He raced down the hallway, bypassing Sideswipe, to reach Victoria. "Vicky! I think Jazz is done."

Victoria looked up from her lopsided star and headed to the door, Swoop complaining at having to leave his painting behind. The door was opened, and Jazz sauntered out with Soundwave slowly trailing behind him. The Decepticon glanced up and down the hallway, spying his twin Cassettes still making Sunstreaker angry. "Rumble, Frenzy: assess opponent before confrontation."

"Where's the fun in that?" Rumble teased as his brush missed the wall and landed on Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker froze as he stared at the diagonal slash of green paint. "Uh oh."

"You're dead!" Sunstreaker yelled as he charged the tiny twins. Rumble ducked out of the way and ran towards Soundwave as Frenzy laughed behind him. "You little glitching, slagging pile of Decepticon waste! You won't even be worth the scrap metal when I'm through with you!"

Rumble ducked around Victoria and dived for Soundwave, who took a step back to keep from falling over when his Cassette collided with his legs. "Let me in! I aint a coward, but I'm not dumb enough not to realize when I don't stand chance!"

Soundwave stared down at the mini-Decepticon. "Rumble?"

Rumble looked scandalized at the slight confusion. "Of course I'm Rumble! What did that Autobot do to ya, boss? You've never confused us before." He shot a glare at Jazz, who held his hands up and sent him a grin. He glanced back to see why Sunstreaker hadn't attacked yet and snickered when he saw the front-liner struggling from beneath the human's foot. "Serves ya right, Auto-diva!"

Soundwave looked between his two twins, ignoring the shouting of one angry Autobot and Victoria scolding Rumble for continuing to slur the mech she held back. He scratched at the blue paint on top of Rumble's helm and watched tiny flakes of it fly off. For a moment, Soundwave had thought watching the cartoon had made him start seeing things. "Repaint required."

"I'm all for it. I don't see how Frenzy can walk around in these _ugly_ colors."

"Hey!"

Soundwave sighed as the twins bickered even as he allowed them back into their hold. Years of practice was the only thing that kept him from flinching when Jazz playfully clapped him on the shoulder. "So, we'll be seein' ya tonight?"

"Remove servo," Soundwave said, his voice as flat as ever. Jazz did as he was told and watched the telepath retreat back to the utility room. He turned to give Victoria a thumbs up, a silent signal saying that everything had gone off without a hitch, before sauntering off in the opposite direction to report to Optimus, who was in the living room with the rest of the Autobots waiting for his report.

Victoria shook her head and looked down at the rest of the mechs (or up as was the case for Swoop and Skywarp). "We still have over five hours until movie night starts. That means we can finish the hallway and _maybe_ head up to my brother's studio for repaints."

Sunstreaker seemed mollified knowing that the ugly green streak of paint wouldn't be there for much longer and only grumbled when Victoria lifted her foot for him to march back over to his paints. Sideswipe grew tired of carrying his tiny pail of paint and threw it onto the wall before joining his brother. Skywarp and Swoop went back to drawing smiley faces and other symbols higher up on the wall as Victoria crouched down to pick up the empty plastic containers that the mechs had used.

She hummed at Bluestreak when he walked up to stand beside her. "Are you still planning on selling the cabin when you leave?"

Victoria blinked at the question. She hadn't thought any of the mechs remembered her plans. "Sure."

"How are going to sell it with all these pictures on the walls?"

The woman looked up to see the splatters of paint and pictures he gestured at. He was right—selling a house that looked like a four-year old drew on the walls wasn't going to be easy. "…I'll just have to find the right person."

Bluestreak nodded and nervously shuffled on his feet. Victoria gave him a careful look before turning back to the wall. "I don't think you should sell it."

"How come?"

"Well…Jazz said something about you not being happy where you live right now, and if you keep the cabin, then you could live here instead. I'm sure you could easily find a better job up here instead of the one that Sunstreaker was complaining about. He said it was really boring and the people there, uh, suck. Except he used other, more vulgar and descriptive words. And if we go back home and still come to Earth, we could…find you again."

Victoria sadly smiled at the nervous sniper. "I'm not sure I'll know you guys back in your dimension."

Bluestreak's door-wings visibly sank, and he kicked at the plastic beneath his feet. "That sucks."

Victoria hummed and didn't look as happy as she had been earlier, even when Swoop finally got her back to painting with him.

**[~]**

"This is a bad idea. Why won't anyone listen to me?"

Ratchet sighed and patted the jittery mech beside him on the shoulder. "We've already committed ourselves to this Red. There's no way we can back down now."

Red Alert scowled and huddled into the throw pillow he sat beside. He figured if he was forced to be a part of this, he would at least be comfortable. Victoria had had a good idea when she suggested throwing all the pillows on the floor. It was a lot roomier down here than on the couch.

Wheeljack flopped down on the pillow beside Ratchet, fins flashing eagerly as he waited for Victoria to finish in the kitchen. "Am I the only one eager to watch this? Seriously, all of you look like your signing your death warrants."

"Haven't you even stopped to think about this?" Ratchet snapped back at the engineer, who took the attitude in stride. "What if we witness a comrade's death? Do you even know what that would do to someone's psyche? I'm starting to regret not saying no."

Wheeljack grabbed the medic's shoulders and gave him a little shake. "That's the beauty of it Ratchet. It's just a human movie! Jazz has already explained to me the cartoon that he watched with Soundwave. There were a lot of accurate parts to it but not a hundred percent. I think that'll be the case for all of the movies we'll watch."

Ratchet wasn't very cheerful about Wheeljack's reassurance but let it go to glance over his shoulder at the sound of loud popping from the kitchen. "I'm not needed in the kitchen, am I?"

There was huff, and Bluestreak answered with a cheery, "No!"

"Good because I'm off duty." That got a chuckle from Optimus as he lounged on one of the higher pillows with Ironhide. Ratchet twisted around to see his leader. "You think it's funny, but I'm serious. Let the Twins run around with missing arms for a while. Maybe that will teach them not to take me for granted."

Said Twins came walking around the couch at that moment, carrying tiny little containers that only held about three giant white things, the popcorn that Victoria insisted on making. They climbed up onto their designated pillow, one that sat beside Ratchet and Wheeljack. "Aw, come on Ratchet! You know you love us."

The medic snorted and turned to grab one of the pieces of popcorn Swoop carried. "Why do we need this again?"

"It's movie food," Victoria explained as she and Bluestreak walked in to join them. She placed a bigger bowl on the floor beside her spot before turning to the TV. "You can't watch a movie without it."

Bluestreak hopped off her shoulder and placed his little bowl on the ground to help her choose a movie. "Which one are we watching first?"

Victoria studied each of the cases laid out before them and picked up the one that caught her eye. "This one. It has Optimus doing a badass pose on the front." Sideswipe snickered as she put the disc in, and she glanced back at the little group. "We have no Decepticons joining us?"

Jazz shrugged and looked around for the one Seeker that was always following Victoria lately. Even Skywarp hadn't been seen since he was summoned back to base. "Guess they're havin' a harder time believin' than Ah thought they would."

Ironhide made a snorting sound. "I knew it wouldn't work. Since when have they believed a word an _Autobot_ says?"

"Sounders looked pretty damn convinced after watchin' da whole first season o' our cartoon," Jazz insisted, ignoring the snickers the nickname produced. "Freaked out but convinced. Ah thought fo' sure that if _he_ was da one ta tell Megsy, old bucket-head would take it more seriously."

Victoria shrugged and wiggled into her spot on the pillows. Her shaking caused Prowl, who had been sitting on the pillow slightly above her with Jazz, to tumble down onto her shoulder. After a quick, almost embarrassed, apology he was back on his pillow beside the snickering Jazz. "Alright, are we waiting or starting?"

Optimus glanced at the other Autobots before nodding. "We can-"

"What, no goodies for us?"

Swoop squawked and dropped his popcorn as Laserbeak suddenly swooped in to land on his shoulder. Frenzy immediately snatched up the abandoned bucket and dashed over to the pillow his freshly repainted brother and Ravage had commandeered. Ravage growled, and Laserbeak snuggled a surprised Swoop before flying over to join her brothers. While Ratchet dealt with the confused Dinobot (Wheeljack wasn't helping because he was laughing too hard), Soundwave finally joined the group as he slowly followed Megatron around the couch.

"I better be one of the stars of this movie!" Starscream exclaimed as he settled on the couch with Thundercracker. Skywarp landed on the pillow beside Victoria that Bluestreak sat on, and a brief glaring match ensued between the two mechs. Megatron scowled at the pillow mountain and marched over to lean against the coffee table, which had been moved to the side to make room for the pillows. Soundwave sent a short, meaningful stare to his Cassettes before joining his leader.

Victoria watched as the last Decepticon, Barricade, slinked in and glanced over at Optimus. He shrugged and turned to address Megatron. "I take it Soundwave has informed you of the situation."

Megatron's scowl deepened. "Show me this _human_ blasphemy that has actually upset one of my _most loyal_ soldiers."

Starscream hissed behind her, so the jibe must have been aimed towards him. Optimus simply nodded at Victoria, and she pressed the play button on the controller.

"This better be good," Frenzy whispered loudly and received a piece of popcorn to the helm. "Hey!"

"Shut up!" Sunstreaker hissed below him.

They silently watched as the studio's logo played and the screen faded to black, popping back up with more words until the new scene played. It was silent as the voice off-screen explained the factions and narrated. Minimal snickering ensued as the Autobot ship was shot down, but it died as the film progressed.

It wasn't a movie that Victoria would normally watch, being a sucker for some of the chickiest flicks out there, but it kept her entertained for the most part. She had to admit that she was way more interested in watching the Transformers than watching the plot between the humans. The only actor she liked to watch was the hot military guy. Rumble and Frenzy seemed to agree with her (minus the hot guy part) and made fun of the humans as much as possible, imitating Shia LaBeouf every time he screamed and getting a laugh out of just about everyone.

There were a few interesting parts though, ones that seemed to make someone in the audience comment. The first happened to be made by Frenzy.

"Holy," he started as he watched the actress walk up the stairs. "I just formed a new interest in organic femmes."

Rumble snickered as a handful of popcorn was thrown at his brother. They shrieked as the girl climbed into the bed with the guy. "No baby making!"

This led to Ratchet having to explain to Swoop what they were talking about, distracting some of the others who had never heard the discussion before. Needless to say, no one really paid attention for the next ten minutes.

"Whose voice is that?" Victoria asked the second time the narrator talked. Her question was followed by a laugh as the red car transformed and knocked down a group of men. "I like that one. Listen out for his name.

"Hot military guy," was her next aimless comment. She noticed Bluestreak and Skywarp staring at her and shrugged. "I'm a woman; I notice these things."

They shrugged and turned back to the movie.

"Is that Optimus?" Sideswipe asked as the giant-robot-worm-of-doom destroyed the building in the background. He and Sunstreaker started laughing at the noise the leader made as he was knocked over. Sideswipe twisted around to look at his leader. "Can you reenact that?"

Optimus sighed as Victoria gasped and paused the movie. Protests were heard, but she ignored it. "That was Optimus' voice at the beginning?" She looked at the mech sitting not far from her. "You have the sexiest voice in surround-sound."

Optimus didn't know what to say as Ironhide laughed at him. "Uh, thank you?"

The movie continued again, and no one said anything for a while, though Starscream not so subtly urged Victoria to skip to the _good_ part, preferably the one with _him_ in it. He was ignored by everyone and huffed back into his spot beside Thundercracker.

"Oh!" Sideswipe exclaimed. "Did you see that? I have a pretty sexy alt-mode, as usual."

"You're silver," Sunstreaker said with a slight look of disgust.

"So? I make it look good."

"I spotted Wheeljack," Ratchet said with an air of boredom surrounding him, and said inventor perked up and stopped fiddling with the tiny device he had pulled out of his subspace a few breems ago. "He has a different name and look, but that's him." He frowned. "There's Ironhide. Where am I?"

"Be patient," Victoria said as she listened to the astronauts. "I'm sure you'll show up."

Just as she said, his movie version appeared soon after that and had most of the Autobots laughing. Victoria covered her mouth to keep her own snickers in as Ratchet glared at everyone. "See? I told you looked good in green."

Ratchet huffed and refused to speak as the movie continued. The next scene to be commented on was the Decepticons' appearance, and that had Starscream laughing as he pointed down at Megatron. "You're missing half your head!" He froze as he appeared on the TV. "I'm ugly! Where are my beautiful colors? The human who made this should be tracked down and tortured!"

Starscream was ignored as the Cassette twins started poking Laserbeak. The lone femme Cassette glared at them as she attempted to inch away from their insistent fingers. "When'd you turn badass Beaky?"

"And mechy?"

Laserbeak angrily trilled and tried to bite their fingers off. Jazz grinned down at where Soundwave sat beside Megatron. "You look good, Sounders."

Soundwave wasn't pleased by his nickname and showed it by ignoring him. Prowl shook his head at his companion and turned back to the movie.

At some point in the movie, the Cassettes got bored and started throwing their popcorn at different mechs. Once their measly three pieces were used, they managed to convince Ravage to snatch some more for them until Victoria turned the 'Con kitty into a pile of goo by scratching ears. Betrayed by their brother, they started a popcorn war with the Autobot twins that didn't end until Ratchet was hit. By then, the movie was almost halfway over and the only ones who really knew what was happening were Optimus and Megatron, and neither of them was eager to explain. Fortunately the action picked up and recaptured the younger ones' attention, Sideswipe bragging about his "amazing sexiness" and some of the Autobots trying to figure out who this "Dino" character was.

"Ah'd like ta meet him," Jazz said as the mech on screen attached his blades to a Decepticon and flung him into traffic.

"Please," Mirage grumbled from the pillow he managed to keep to himself. "He is as reckless as the Twins."

None of the Autobots were happy with the scene afterwards. Ironhide shot up from the spot he sat beside Optimus. "They just killed me!"

"In a completely inaccurate way," Wheeljack commented, missing the pointed glares from Ratchet and Prowl. "It takes a little longer than _that_ for Cosmic Rust to completely devour all of the metal in a Cybertronian's body."

"I think he shot his spark though," Bluestreak said quietly and with bright optics. Skywarp rolled his own optics at how horrified the young Praxian looked.

"Who cares how it happened? I'm dead!" Ironhide turned to Optimus, who was watching Megatron more closely. "How can you be so calm after watching me die?"

"It's not real Ironhide," Optimus said just loud enough for Megatron to glance up at him. "Sentinal Prime has already returned to the AllSpark."

Megatron scowled but it soon vanished as Decepticons began to invade the Earth. Ironhide was still upset as they watched the drama between the humans and the Autobots be evicted from the planet. All of the Decepticons seemed to enjoy that part, Starscream in particular as it was _his_ character that shot their spaceship down. That seemed to completely make up for his lack of colors.

"Me Swoop no like movie no more," Swoop said, leaning on Wheeljack.

"It's just starting to get good," Barricade commented from the furthest pillow and earned glares from the closest Autobots.

"We have to watch it 'til the end," Victoria said. "We still have-" she stopped to pause the movie "-over an hour left. Jeez, this movie is long."

"It better get better," Sunstreaker grumbled.

Starscream screeched, "It's already good! You've been privileged to see _me_ twice now."

The last hour of the movie was arguably the best in Victoria's opinion, if only because it had the most parts involving the Transformers. She silently cheered with the others as the Autobots showed back up and was as outraged with the other deaths as well since most of them were sitting in the audience with her. Except Sentinal Prime because he killed Ironhide and betrayed the Autobots. It was even upsetting to watch Megatron be stabbed in the head, a feat that impressed the gladiator twins and seemed to upset Optimus.

"That movie sucked!" Rumble cried as the credits began to roll. There was general agreement amongst the mechs. "It would have been ten times better if me and Frenz' were in it."

"It would have been a _hundred _times better if _I _was in it," Skywarp countered, making the twins send rude gestures his way.

"What I want to know is why Sides was there but I wasn't," Sunstreaker griped as he shoved his brother off their pillow.

"Primus finally pitied me," Ratchet answered, Wheeljack snickering as Swoop crawled down the pillows to sit with Victoria. He wasn't going to stay next to Ratchet in case the medic lost his temper.

"What I didn't like was that almost everyone died," Bluestreak said, scowling when Skywarp made a derogatory comment under his breath. "I mean, it's not like I haven't seen death before just…I just didn't like it."

Prowl nodded and nudged Jazz awake. The saboteur had drifted off towards the end of the movie and woke with a start. Victoria listened quietly as a few more critiques were made and stood up to stretch. "So…are we watching the other movies or starting the cartoons?"

"The cartoons," was the unanimous decision, and she put in what looked to be a computer animated cartoon.

**[~]**

Prowl sighed as the latest episode came to an end and glanced around to assess the others. Ratchet and Wheeljack still sat on their pillow, having been the only ones that didn't move the entire night, and were talking to each in low tones, with Wheeljack's fins glowing brightly in the darkness. He could barely see Red Alert's helm from where he had burrowed under a pillow during the first movie they had watched. The SD was the only one who had remained silent the entire time, but at least he hadn't had a meltdown of sorts. Honestly, that was why Ratchet sat so close to him—in case he _had_ had a breakdown. On the other side of the medic and engineer, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were curled up against each other, a position they seemed to naturally fall in while in recharge. Ratchet had once theorized that it was so that their split-spark could sync together easier.

A noise came from his right, and the tactician turned just in time to see Ravage curl back up in the black hair he blended in with. Victoria had fallen asleep nearly a joor ago after setting up the movie they watched to keep going even without her needing to press anything. All of the Cassettes seemed to have migrated to her, making him believe that Soundwave's symbiotes were similar to Blaster's, all of which naturally sought out heat while recharging since they had become used to what their cassette players gave off. He couldn't see Bluestreak, who sat on the other side of Victoria, but his ignored comm. link ping told him that the younger Praxian was currently offline as well.

The pillow jostled, and he looked up to see Optimus jumping from his pillow to the next and quietly followed him down until they landed behind Ratchet and Wheeljack. They looked up at the two officers and moved to make room for them. "Well, that was little more…overwhelming than I anticipated."

Ratchet snorted at the Prime's comment. "Really? And what did you expect—rainbows and candied Energon?"

Optimus sighed as Red Alert wiggled out from under his pillow to join them. "Of course not, but to watch some of our fellow Autobots return to the AllSpark…"

"Fake or not, it does give you something to think about," Wheeljack finished for him. "I was watching Barricade over there and even he flinched at some parts during the last bit of the first movie."

"It was that one that I didn't like," Ironhide grumbled as he joined their pillow group. He almost slipped off before finding his footing and immediately sitting beside Ratchet. "It seemed very disconnected as they just killed us all."

"It was created by humans for entertainment," Prowl reminded them. "It still hasn't been proven that any of it real."

"I don't know," Wheeljack argued. "Some stuff was completely out there, but there were some accurate parts. They got a lot of our personalities pretty down pat."

They heard a snort and looked over to find Mirage sitting on the floor with Jazz and his oversized iPad. Jazz patted his subordinate on the shoulder before moving to join them. "They got our personalities correct? I'll have you know that I act _nothing_ like my movie-self."

"Keep tellin' yourself that buddy," Jazz teased, earning a glare and making the spy drag his tablet off with a huff. The saboteur swung up to sit beside Red Alert and grinned up at the mechs still standing. "Ah sorta enjoyed all o' 'em." His grin slipped away as he looked at Wheeljack. "Though, Ah do got a question. What's gonna happen if we land in da wrong dimension. After seein' four o' 'em, Ah gotta wonder what da odds are o' gettin' us back to the right one."

Everyone turned to Wheeljack, who didn't look as cheery as usual. "I honestly have no clue. I'm _trying_ to get it as accurate as possible, but my original designs didn't even have an option of being specific. It was just meant to drop a mech off in a random location on Cybertron, preferably far away from the initial location."

Jazz shrugged and leaned back on his elbows. "Not sayin' that we couldn't adjust ta our new home, but did you see how young 'Bee was in that movie an' the first cartoon? He aint dat young from where we come from, an' he definitely aint got any problems with speakin'."

"Don't forget the one where Prowl was a ninja," Ratchet joked with a smile, though Prowl looked less than thrilled to be reminded of that.

"And it was a requirement that we have huge chins," Ironhide kept going, earning snickers and chuckles from the others.

"I didn't see anything about me," Red Alert said for the first time since movie night had begun. "I'm perfectly happy about that."

"'Course you are," Ironhide grumbled and crossed his arms, his previous good mood wilting a little. "At least you didn't have to watch a version of yourself _die."_

Optimus glanced around as his officers began to comment on what they had watched tonight. From the corner of his optic, he watched Sideswipe nudge his brother online, and they crawled up to join Bluestreak and Swoop on their pillow beside Victoria, where they promptly fell back into recharge. He also glanced at the spot that Megatron and Soundwave had sat the whole time and wasn't surprised to see it had been vacated in the short breem of time since the last time he had looked over there.

Jazz had made a very wise decision when he chose Soundwave to be the mech to break the news to Megatron. Any other Decepticon would have probably been ignored, but Soundwave was a legitimate source, and it was enough to get Megatron to even step in the same room as them. Optimus had seen the way he reacted to his on-screen death or incapacitations, and Megatron was _not_ very pleased by those. He had also taken to glaring at Starscream more often when the Seeker laughed at parts concerning him. So either Optimus' plan had worked or Megatron was even less likely to trust his second-in-command than he was before. Not that the second option was much of a surprise.

Optimus sighed and returned his attention back to Red Alert, who was already beginning to explain his precautionary plan for when the Decepticons turned on them. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that if Megatron came to the same conclusion that Optimus had a long time ago—the Decepticons would not win this war.

**[~]**

Megatron frowned as he stalked back to the utility room, Soundwave loyally following behind him. Unlike that feather-brained Starscream, whose two incarnations had so blatantly betrayed him. At least he could be assured that the _real_ Starscream was too much of a coward to do anything. Speaking of the sniveling coward…

Starscream screeched as he dodged Megatron's fusion cannon. "What was that for?"

"Preemptive measures," Megatron growled as he stalked up to his plushy throne. He stared at the Decepticons before him, minus the Cassettes as he had ordered Soundwave to keep them there to spy on the Autobots. He glanced at Bonecrusher and Barricade, the only two mechs whose designs didn't fit in with the others around them, and felt a small amount of relief to check that off his "Things that Drive Me Crazy Because They Don't Make Sense" list. He looked down at his odd-shaped servos with the same relief.

"You don't _actually _believe what the Autobots say," Starscream said, picking up on the subtle movements. "It doesn't-"

"Make sense? Seem logical?" Megatron finished before standing in a rush of anger. "You do not think I know that? And how else are we to explain these bodies, Starscream? And how the humans know of us? Please Starscream—I am eager to hear your theories."

Starscream gritted his denta and smartly stepped back to stand between his trine mates. Thundercracker subtly stepped closer while Skywarp stared at the floor with a frown. Megatron sat back on his quilt and turned to Soundwave standing beside him. "Soundwave, what are your thoughts on this?"

Soundwave stared at Starscream, who scowled at being dismissed so easily, before turning his head to address Megatron. "Autobots' statements: True. Current physical status: Child replicas."

Megatron nodded and used the curved end of his servo to rub his chin. "And the videos?"

Soundwave thought briefly before answering. "Human preferences: Good guys. Bias towards Autobots. Theory: Not one hundred percent accurate. Conclusion: Several probable possibilities disliked by humans."

The grey mech grinned at this and relaxed further into his "throne." "Meaning, if this was considered on a realistic level, the Decepticons have more than enough resources to come out on top." His grin widened to the point where even Bonecrusher was a little uneased by it. "What has that scientist been working on again Starscream?"

"Human appliances," the Seeker immediately answered. "Nothing to worry about."

"Soundwave."

Soundwave stepped forward and pressed one of the various buttons on his person. A recording Laserbeak had surreptitiously captured the first night of their stay began to play.

"Well it was an idea I had been playing with for a while, and honestly it was only meant to be used as a last resort. Decepticons have a nasty habit of targeting Autobots who aren't at their peak performance level at the moment and wouldn't be able to handle a full blown fight. So I thought 'What if you could get rid of the Decepticon with little to no hassle?' Of course, there's physics and what not involved but—"

"Please don't start talking about that mumbo jumbo."

"Yes, try to keep it as simple as possible."

"Oh, I wasn't going to delve into it anyway. It took _me_ vorns to fully understand it and that was just with standard Space Bridge physics. Anyway the short and sweet of it is that the bomb was actually meant to teleport things."

The recording ended, and Megatron scowled, just as he had the first time he had heard it. "Laserbeak was compromised when she was spotted by that infernal saboteur. The other half of the conversation was never recorded, but now it is clear that is when the Autobots received the information they so willingly gave us today." He gestured at Soundwave and another recording was played, this one taken by Soundwave personally.

"Factor in 'Jackie an' there aint much that stays in da realm o' logic. After all, _logically_ Wheeljack should be able ta make stuff without it explodin' by now. Or at least function in da way they're originally supposed to."

Megatron leaned forward and glared at his SIC. "Now tell me Starscream; what is the engineer working on?"

Starscream opened his mouth to repeat what he had just said before slowly closing it as his optics brightened in revelation. "He's rebuilding his teleportation device!"

Megatron mockingly clapped as best he could with his odd shaped hands. "Your _brilliance _ceases to amaze Starscream!" Starscream didn't even rise to the taunt, making Megatron slightly scowl. "The inventor has been working on this the entire time of our stay. It is reasonable to conclude that it will soon be complete." Megatron's creepy smile returned. "The possibilities this device will open to us is limitless. We could travel to the different universes and ensure Decepticon victory. After all, we have enough information to make it possible.

"Soundwave, keep your Cassettes on that inventor; Barricade, I want you to learn more about those videos the human showed us; Starscream, keep up your surveillance, no matter how _pointless_ it has proven to be; and Skywarp, stay close to the human—report to me directly if she reveals anything of importance."

Megatron dismissed them with a wave, and the Decepticons scattered to various parts of the room. He smiled once more as he thought of how naïve Optimus had been to allow him this knowledge. It was about time the Prime realized that there was only one way this war would end—and the Autobots would not be the ones who came out on top_._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Oh Megatron—you Decepticon! Nothing can sway you from your conquest. I've never written a chapter like this, with characters commenting on something. It was actually kind of hard since I was watching the movies at the same time :/ Anyways, there's the chapter I'm sure a lot of you have been anticipating. I've got no clue how much longer this story will be. I'm running out of ideas to keep it going. But it's bypassed the ten measly chapter I had planned on it being :D

I've gotta get back in my updating groove, so here's hopes to seeing you Saturday ^_^

**EDITED: 3/19/14 (Grammar, missing words/word choice, etc.)**


	17. Mistletoe Mania

**AN:** Ah ha! I managed to get it out on the right day this time! I have officially typed more than my first story now, and I have no idea how much longer this story is gonna be. On a side note, this chapter is the first to be "un-betaed" in a while (well, half of it is anyways), so let me know how it turns out :D

The information on the mistletoe wasn't made up by me. In fact, it's copy/pasted straight from a website, which I would put the link here but can't, so for the sake of not being accused of plagiarism, I'll put the source on my profile.

_Solar Cycle: ~1 day  
>Vorn: 83 years<br>Joor: ~1 hour  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>

_"__Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>_**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>_

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Sixteen

Mistletoe Mania

* * *

><p><strong>Day 19<strong>

Victoria frowned as she stared down at her phone, tapping her finger against the screen as she counted. How could she have possibly forgotten? She knew it would happen during her stay at the cabin, but had she been so isolated to really _forget?_

"_No," _she thought, thinking back to the few times she had gone into town. _"It was just one of those things that I saw but didn't _see._"_

The woman was brought out of her thoughts as the movie she had been subconsciously listening to suddenly went quiet. Victoria looked up to see the movie quickly moving in reverse. With a sigh, she glanced down at the mech with the controller. "No matter how many times you re-watch it, the humans are still going to kill you, Barricade."

The pseudo-cop car growled at her before pressing the eject button on the controller to switch the discs. Victoria shook her head and watched him change the live-action movie to the computer animated cartoon that she had enjoyed last night. It had a kickass femme that turned into a motorcycle.

Turning back to her phone, she used the tip of her nail to click on her email app and almost groaned at all the messages in her inbox. Glancing back up at the only other occupant in the room, she clicked the emails and began to systematically delete what she considered spam. Basically all the messages from her co-workers that really had nothing to do with her. Damn group messages.

Victoria was currently debating on whether to keep or delete a coupon for one of the few clothing stores that she liked when a sudden missile rammed into the back of her head. The force of the hit actually caused her to snap forward, making Barricade look up in surprise at her sudden scream. Whatever had hit her quickly scrambled around her neck and dove into the wide neck of her sweater, causing her to shriek again. "What the hell are you doing?"

Swoop's head popped out of her collar and frantically shushed her. "Me Swoop no here!"

"Wha-"

The Dinobot ducked back in before she could finish, and the poor woman snapped straight at the feeling of a little mech crawling around inside her shirt. That was definitely a feeling she could have lived without experiencing. Barricade had stopped what he was doing and looked slightly disgusted by the Autobot's actions. _"Swoop."_

"No here!"

Victoria felt a muscle in her forehead twitch. Swoop had never given her trouble, and she sorely hoped that he wasn't starting now. She blinked as a little raptor was suddenly flying around her head. "Hi Laserbeak."

The silent spy gave her a nod, which the brunette barely noticed since the Cassette didn't pause in her circling, before flying out of the room. Victoria watched the only femme in the house disappear around the corner before sticking her hand down her shirt to roughly pull her unwanted tenant out. Swoop came willingly and looked at her with grateful optics. "Now explain."

"Me Swoop no know!" the pterodactyl cried and clung to her hand with a surprisingly strong grip. "Birdie Cassette suddenly follow me Swoop _everywhere!_ Swoop go upstairs—birdie there. Swoop go outside—birdie follow. Go to get a cookie, and she there! Me Swoop ask him Wheeljack why, and him Wheeljack just laugh." Swoop shifted around to sit in the palm of her hand and looked up at her with a pleading expression. "What me Swoop do?"

Victoria used her other hand to balance her chin as she looked at the worried mech. "Is she trying to attack you?"

Swoop shook his head. "No. Just stare. It weird."

She tapped her fingers against her cheek. "When did this start?"

"Day you leave," he answered and rubbed his red crest as he thought. "Me Swoop no think much at first. Cassettes always try to spy. But her Laserbeak start circling. And landing on shoulder. And tackling then flying away. It just weird."

Victoria stared at her Dinobot companion in thought as the _Transformers_ cartoon in the background started to play. She suddenly perked up and ignored how Barricade was blatantly watching them from his spot on the floor. "You said she wasn't trying to hurt you?"

Swoop shook his head. "Almost knock off counter once, but different than other Decepticon attack."

Victoria let loose a girlish giggle and stood up with the Autobot still seated in her hand. She walked out of the room, leaving the nosy Decepticon scout behind, before continuing her conversation with Swoop. "I think a certain birdie has developed a crush on you Swoop."

Swoop looked slightly alarmed. "Me Swoop no want crush! " He paused. "What crush be?"

The human giggled again and took a quick detour into the bathroom to stay out of sight of the stalking Ravage and Laserbeak. "It means that Laserbeak _likes_ you Swoop."

Swoop's alarm returned in full-force. "She Laserbeak can't like me Swoop. She 'Con!"

"It's like _Romeo & Juliet," _Victoria said with a slightly dreamy sigh. It was a side of her that Swoop had never seen before, and he wasn't exactly sure if he liked the dreamy look she had suddenly developed. "Two lovers who cannot be together because their families hate each other. I'm not usually a sucker for Shakespeare, but it's a completely different thing to see the story unfold in real life as opposed to reading overly dramatic writing."

She smiled down at him as they went up the stairs once the coast was clear. "I think it'll be fun to get you two together."

Swoop looked up at her with surprise. "But…me Swoop Autobot and her Laserbeak Decepticon."

"And I am officially 'Faction Victoria,'" Victoria answered as she distractedly started thinking of ways for the two Cybertronians to be together. She could vaguely remember a scenario similar to this when she was a little girl before her brother had yelled at her for trying to hook his Thundercracker toy up with Ratchet. She couldn't help it—Ratchet had been getting lonely watching Optimus and Ironhide with her Barbie© Elita One and Chromia. "I'll work to have the two factions brought together even if it means using the power of love…oh my dear Lord. That somehow sounded less cheesy in my mind."

Swoop didn't seem to care for her last statement as he asked, "You Victoria no Autobot?"

"No, I'm supposed to still be neutral, but Skywarp mentioned something about me being my own faction, and I've found myself becoming fond of the idea." She paused once they entered the half-organized storage room and placed Swoop on a box that almost brought him face level to her. "You're not upset about that, are you?"

The pterodactyl shook his head. "No. If you Vicky not Autobot, then him Grimlock won't be mad when me Swoop tell him that you friend. Dinobot's no like Autobots much."

"Well, that's a shame," Victoria said absentmindedly as she riffled through one of the top boxes. She made a noise of triumph and brought out a cluster of fake leaves to dangle over Swoop's head. "I'm going out on a limb here and assume that Transformers don't celebrate Christmas back on Cybertron."

**[~]**

"I'm so bored! There's nothing to do here! I'm gonna die! I'll–" Sideswipe was cut off by a sudden snowball to the helm. He sputtered and glared at his attacker stalking past him. "What was that for?"

Sunstreaker snorted. "You've been repeating the same slagging things over and over ever since we started our shift guarding Wheeljack, which, by the way, you eagerly _volunteered_ us for! Excuse me for finally snapping."

Sideswipe pouted and ran to catch up with his brother as he climbed up the steps. "Sorry. When Optimus said that security for Wheeljack would be amped up, I thought it'd be fun to hang out with the mech. Remember how it was back on Cybertron?"

The golden front-liner snorted at the memory files Sideswipe sent his way of the many explosions that the Twins had participated in, not to mention the devices they had actually _inspired_ Wheeljack to make for them. Sideswipe had been thoroughly thrilled the time the engineer had presented him with his first jetpack. That had also happened to be the first of many times they had been sent to visit Ratchet thanks to Wheeljack. It had been a little surprising to spend a shift with Wheeljack that day and walk away without needing any sort of medical attention. "Do you have any idea of what he was working on? I swear it looked like that ride we saw on that human documentary a few days ago."

"The roller coaster?"

"The frag if I know what it's called."

Sideswipe snickered as they finally made it inside and shook off the excess snow, grabbing the conveniently placed rag to dry off with. For some unknown reason, Soundwave had taken to placing a rag from the utility room in a certain spot beside the door every day to keep the mechs from tracking in snow and leaving an obvious trail of water behind. Sideswipe wouldn't have even bothered with it if he hadn't seen the telepath actually tell Ironhide off for not using it. Those two, complete sentences were perhaps the closest to anger he had ever seen the quiet mech exhibit.

Once they were dry (Sideswipe sighed as his brother always took twice as long as any normal mech), the Twins left the living room with barely a glance in Barricade's direction and traveled down the hallway back to base to report to Prowl. They encountered one distraction as Sunstreaker stopped to make sure his mural hadn't been tampered with and soon entered the bedroom only to decide that they should have spent a little more time with Wheeljack.

"Get away! I know what you're trying to do, and I won't fall for it!"

"Red Alert calm down! I'm just trying to demonstrate something for Swoop, and you were the first to walk under it with me."

Red Alert ran across the room to duck under the bed, and Victoria calmly followed after him, swinging a bundle of green stuff in her hand while Swoop watched from her shoulder in interest. Ratchet and Ironhide stood beside her as she bent down to look under the bed. The Twins sidestepped them and climbed into the shelf to stand beside Jazz and Bluestreak, who stood on the edge of the shelf watching. "What is she doing?"

Bluestreak shrugged and watched a no-nonsense Ratchet walk under the bed after Victoria gave up on coaxing the predominately red and white mech out. "Red Alert ran in here a little while ago yelling about Victoria trying to wipe his processor. Victoria followed him and started saying something about a human tradition, but Red was already in a tizzy, so he freaked out more and started yelling how he knew he couldn't trust humans now because they made it a habit of sucking each other's brains out, which he must have picked up from that black and white movie you guys made him watch that one time, which really doesn't make sense 'cause it was actually aliens that were sucking out human brains. Or was it a human experiment? If it was aliens then they were _way _off because I've never personally seen an alien like that. But humans are aliens, and I never saw one before Victoria, so I guess I can't say anything. I wonder if there are more human-like beings out there." The Praxian finally paused and looked at where the Twins stood beside Jazz. "What did you ask again?"

"Vicky's tryin' ta explain a human tradition ta Swoop," Jazz said, which was basically the shortened version of the first half of Bluestreak's explanation.

"Well what is it?" Sideswipe asked as he watched Ratchet drag the frantic SD out by his arm. Red Alert grabbed the edge of the blanket with his other hand and held it in a death grip as Ratchet yanked him.

Jazz shrugged, and Bluestreak's wings perked up in surprise as Red Alert actually tried to kick the medic. "Dunno. Red won't calm down long 'nough fo' Vicky ta explain."

"Ah ha!" The four mechs turned at the sound of the quiet exclamation and saw Mirage dragging his tablet over to them with practiced ease. He turned it around for them to see the article as well as the picture of the happy couple beneath the same plant that Victoria was waving around. "I believe this may be what Victoria is trying to explain. 'Mistletoe is also said to be a sexual symbol, because of the consistency and color of the berry juice as well as the belief that it is an aphrodisiac, the 'soul' of the oak from which it grows. The origin of the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe is vague. However, the tradition may have stemmed from either the Viking association of the plant with Frigga (the goddess of love) or from the ancient belief that mistletoe was related to fertility. Another explanation for the tradition is that it is derived from the festival of Saturnalia, a popular mid-December celebration in ancient Rome.'

"'The correct mistletoe etiquette is for the man to remove one berry when he kisses a woman. When all the berries are gone, there's no more kissing permitted underneath that plant.'

"'One legend states that a couple who kisses underneath mistletoe will have good luck, but a couple neglecting to perform the ritual will have bad luck. Specifically, it is believed that a couple kissing under the mistletoe ensure themselves of marriage and a long, happy life, while an unmarried woman not kissed under the mistletoe will remain single for another year.'

"There is more, but I believe this is the reason she is chasing Red Alert around," Mirage finished, clicking off of the web-link. Several pictures of sleek sports cars popped up, and the other four mechs stared as the noble-mech quickly closed that link as well. "None of you saw that."

"Well, now that we finally know what Mirage does on that thing all day." Mirage scowled at Sideswipe as the front-liner turned to a snickering Jazz. "Kissing is the weird thing human's do with their mouths, right?"

"Why's Vicky trying to _kiss_ Red Alert?" Bluestreak asked, turning around to look at the situation in a new light.

Sunstreaker sighed as his brother smirked and sidled up to their friend. "Maybe Red's gotten a little _closer_ to our host than we thought."

"Whoa!" Jazz yelped as Sideswipe came spinning his way. Sunstreaker laughed loudly as Bluestreak huffed and climbed down from the shelf. "Wha' was dat for?"

"Blue's gotta mean right hook," a stunned Sideswipe said as he leaned against the smaller TIC.

Sunstreaker was still laughing while Mirage looked just as stunned as the red front-liner. Jazz shook his head and helped the younger mech stand. "Whatever you've done ta tick lil' Blue off musta been big."

"He doesn't like his love life to be tampered with."

Bluestreak ignored the new laughs that joined Sunstreaker's as he hurried over to the tiny group by the bed. Red Alert was now being yelled at by Ratchet for actually managing to kick the medic in the face while Victoria, Ironhide, Swoop, and Prowl (who had most likely joined them after receiving a broken and panicked comm. from Red Alert) patiently watched from the sidelines. Bluestreak paused to let out an aggravated sigh, which hopefully helped with the tenseness he felt in his door-wings. He was ignored when he finally joined them.

"-should make you walk around with only one leg!" Ratchet was finishing up as Red Alert cowered. "Honestly this has gone on long enough! You know that the last thing Victoria would do is harm us. Now let her do what she needs to so that we can all go back to our business." Red Alert shook his head frantically before freezing as Ratchet reached for his infamous wrench. The medic nodded at the SD's sudden want to cooperate and gestured at the human. "Now, do what you need to do so we can have peace"

Victoria nodded and held up the fake plant she carried. Red Alert looked at her with wide optics and flinched when she picked him up with her free hand. "Oh Red, I'm not going to hurt you! This is just something human's do during the holidays, and I'm trying to show Swoop how it works." She brought him up to her face and put her lips on his helm before quickly pulling him back. "See? Perfectly harmless."

Red Alert looked disturbed as he patted down the side of his head that she had kissed. "What did you do? Am I going to offline? Did you insert a virus?"

"No," Victoria said with a roll of her eyes and placed him back on the ground beside Ratchet. She held the mistletoe above the medic's head. "When two people are caught under the mistletoe, they have to kiss each other. It's just a fun thing to do around Christmas time."

Ratchet grunted as he allowed her to repeat her actions with him and glared at Ironhide when the old mech snickered. "Ironhide, weren't you just saying how interested in human things you were?"

The snickering immediately stopped when Swoop held the plant between the Weapons Specialist and human. With a groan, he stepped up to allow the process to be repeated for a third time. "Pointless human customs."

Bluestreak silently watched as Ironhide received his human kiss, grumbling and all. He didn't even realize that the tension he had hoped to lose was still there until a hand landed on his shoulder. With a slight jump, he looked over to see Prowl staring at him. "Are you alright?"

Bluestreak quickly nodded, relaxing a bit in the presence of the SIC. "Yeah! I'm perfectly fine. Sunny and Sides are back, so you might wanna go get them before they run off again. As a matter of fact, I'll go get 'em for you!"

Prowl watched his younger companion quickly retreat to the shelf where Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were participating in one of their mock fights. At least he thought it was only between them until Jazz suddenly jumped onto Sideswipe's back. He frowned at the saboteur's unprofessional behavior but ignored it as he kept his optics on Bluestreak.

He had noticed before how tense his fellow Praxian tended to get anytime Skywarp was around Victoria, and it was obvious why the jet was always around their host. It was clear to him now that the apprehension wasn't simply Bluestreak's general dislike for Decepticons. The sharpshooter obviously had no reason to exhibit the same behavior around his allies. Prowl just hoped that Bluestreak's newfound jealousy didn't begin to effect his performance.

A jab between the hinges of Prowl's door-wings made him turn to glare at the perpetrator. Ironhide grinned from his slightly safe distance away. "Swoop thinks we should all get into this human thing."

"What does that-" Prowl stopped and glared at the CMO, Security Director, and Weapon's Specialist, all of whom were staring at him with a slightly devious look in their optics. "No."

"It's too late," Ironhide insisted and pointed up. "The plant's over your head."

Prowl looked up and glared at the offensive object. Swoop just wiggled the plant around and insistently looked at Victoria, who shrugged and looked down at the SIC. The black and white mech gave her a hard look even as his posture slightly slumped. "This will not be a recurring action."

"Of course not," Victoria replied just as seriously, but it was obvious that she was getting some sort of entertainment from that aggravating fake plant. Prowl ignored the whoops and catcalls from the bookshelf as he received his first, and last, form of organic affection.

**[~]**

Thundercracker sighed as Starscream started his third verbal fight with Megatron that day. Their leader had _insisted_ that Starscream do surveillance on his own because he absolutely _needed_ Thundercracker and Skywarp to stay behind. It was a bunch of bull, a phrase that he had heard Victoria mumble under her breath and seemed to fit the occasion perfectly. Megatron didn't need them for anything and hadn't even bothered to make Skywarp move from what had become the Seekers' Nest, which was pretty much anything the jet's happened to become fond of stacked on top of the washer. Little known fact about Seekers: they were notorious hoarders when they wanted to be.

The blue Seeker watched as Starscream disrespected Megatron and received a little soap packet to the head. The Air Commander was insulted, of course, and threw it back before screeching as Megatron took more aggressive actions. He chuckled and looked over at Skywarp, expecting his younger trine brother to be laughing as well. He frowned when he found the teleporter sitting with a distant look in his optic.

Thundercracker had noticed the most active jet's strange behavior begin the day before when they had received the unexpected command to return to base. Skywarp had been in a fairly happy mood, covered in paint and wings happily twitching. He doubted that the content Seeker had even listened the first time Megatron began relaying what Soundwave had gathered. There wasn't any amount of surprise from his side of the bond, though there had been skepticism, which had fueled Starscream's own suspicions and made him more vocal with his initial denials.

It was Thundercracker's belief that what Megatron had said didn't get through to Skywarp until the Decepticons had joined the movie get together. Skywarp hadn't been nearly as vocal as he usually was towards the end of the first movie, and he had only had a few comments for the second show. He was completely silent when the second cartoon was turned on.

And he had remained quiet for the rest of the night and the majority of the day. It was strange because out of the three Seekers, Skywarp was the most active and made noise in _some_ kind of way. He hadn't even moved from the bright purple towel he had been so excited to have discovered their third solar cycle there. It was kind of pathetic to see him lying there listlessly…or in thought. The concept of Skywarp _thinking_ was so foreign to Thundercracker that he couldn't even tell the difference.

"Hey 'Warp!" Frenzy yelled from below. His brother jogged over to stand beside him. "We're gonna go prank that paranoid Autoboob. Wanna come?"

"Go on without me," Skywarp responded without a second thought and waved them off.

Rumble and Frenzy looked a little surprise that their usual pranking partner blew them off so easily, but both of them shrugged it off. "Fine, whatever."

Thundercracker couldn't help but feel shocked as the twins left without his brother. Skywarp, the one Decepticon who had built the reputation of _never_ letting the chance for a prank pass him by, had just told the twins to go on without him…

Skywarp yelped as he was suddenly kicked off the edge of the washing machine, forgetting that he had thrusters until the last second and almost face-planting on the floor. He steadied himself before turning to glare up at Thundercracker, who stood on the edge of the machine with his hands on his hips. "What was that for?"

"What is wrong with you?" Thundercracker retaliated.

Skywarp looked confused before intensifying his glare. "What's wrong with me? You just kicked me out of the Nest!"

"Stop brooding and go prank or something. It's disturbing to see you so…inactive."

The purple and black jet was confused as he looked at his trine mate before turning to stomp out of the room. "You tell me that I should start thinking before doing something but when I start thinking you tell me to get out. Make up your fragging mind TC or I'll go crazy like Starscream!"

Thundercracker lost his stiff pose as Starscream stopped mid-insult to yell after Skywarp, "I am not crazy!"

Skywarp snorted and would have made a derogatory retort if Thundercracker hadn't flown down, grabbed his wing, and all but dragged him out of the room. The prankster stuttered and did a little dance to keep his balance. "TC! What is your problem?"

"My problem? You were just saying that you were taking the time to think, and you go and try to start something with Starscream? Have you forgotten the last time he was in one of those moods and almost ripped your wing off for being 'funny'?"

Skywarp shuddered at the reminder. Starscream was never pleasant after confronting Megatron, but there were certain times when he was _really_ unpleasant to the point where even Thundercracker didn't want to be around him.

"Besides…I think we should talk."

The Seeker vented an aggravated groan and swayed away from Thundercracker. "TC! I already had The Talk with my creators!"

"What talk?" Thundercracker asked in confusion.

"You know. When the turbofox starts hunting the right petrorabbit-"

"Whoa!" the blue Seeker instantly exclaimed, much to Skywarp's amusement. "I'm positive your creators explained that to you _thoroughly _a long time ago. "

Thundercracker had made a mistake by reacting so strongly, and he realized that as Skywarp slyly sidled back closer to him. "What? Did yours not explain it as well as mine? Want me to give the quick version? It's really good."

"No," the older mech said, shoving Skywarp away. "I got The Talk almost a vorn before you did. I'm sure I'm better educated than you."

Thundercracker could have slapped himself at the perverted smile Skywarp had developed. _"Oh really?_ What do you know that I don't?" He poked the older Seeker in the shoulder as they walked down the hallway. "Come on! I didn't know you were a closet perv."

"I am not," Thundercracker denied and swatted the offensive hand away. "This is completely off subject! I was going to talk to you about your recent behavior. Why have you been so quiet all day?"

Skywarp sobered up and looked down at the floor as they slowly walked. There was some commotion ahead of them in the living room but they were too far away to make out what was going on. "I've just been thinking."

"Should I be worried?" Thundercracker tried to joke. His poor attempt at humor just made the younger jet slightly frown. He sighed. "What has you so worried that your actually thinking?"

"Your humor sucks, 'Cracker," Skywarp deflected. "I should give you lessons and charge you by the joor."

"_Skywarp."_

The purple and black jet's brief smile fell, and he looked ahead, refusing to meet Thundercracker's optics. Thundercracker had always been too observant when it came to both of his trine mates. "I've just been thinking about those shows…and the toy thing."

Thundercracker nodded and stopped just before they got to the living room, forcing Skywarp to stop as well. "If you're worrying about getting home, Starscream says that they've already figured out how to do that even without the Autobots' engineer." Thundercracker examined how indifferent Skywarp appeared in response to his statement and sighed. "Of course not. You better not say you don't want to go back." Skywarp wouldn't look at him. _"Skywarp."_

"You told me not to say!" the younger Seeker snapped and hurried to the living room. "Stop being so wishy-washy and make up your mind."

"Skywarp don't walk away from me!" Thundercracker yelled after him. He quickly followed when it was made obvious that Skywarp wasn't going to stop. "We're going to talk about this before you decide to do something rash. You, me, and Starscream—we'll make a decision-" Thundercracker stopped beside the stunned Skywarp at the entrance to the living room. "What has happened to this room?"

"It's like an Autobot barfed," Skywarp said, looking at all the red decorations that were strung along the top of the TV and across the top of the door frame. "There's only so much red a mech can take. We need to find some purple…"

There was a shout, and the Seekers jumped aside when the Autobot twins suddenly appeared around the couch running towards them. The yellow one didn't even stop to insult them as he ran past. "Leave me alone!"

"But we walked under the plant together! Come on Sunny; I know you love me!"

"What?" a shout came from the other side of the couch, and Skywarp used his warp generator to appear on the table on the other side. He looked down to see Victoria sitting on the floor beside two open containers and looking under the table. "I'm not kissing that slagger!"

"Who're you calling slagger, glitch-head?"

Skywarp walked to the edge of table and bent over to see Rumble and Frenzy rolling around underneath him. He spotted a little cluster of green leaves hanging roughly above where the twins had been standing. After watching them fight, Skywarp straightened up and examined the ornaments that Victoria was pulling out of the containers. "What are those?"

"Christmas ornaments," she explained, holding up a little brown man with colorful buttons that were sewn on as eyes. "They normally go on a tree, but it's way too late in the season to be looking for one. I don't even know if there are places that still sell trees this close to Christmas."

The jet nodded and watched her hang the ornament on one of the knobs of the TV cabinet. "Cool…what's Christmas?"

Victoria sighed and dug around inside the box beside her. "Christmas is a human holiday, and depending on the person celebrating it, it can be all about getting tons of presents or a religiously significant day. It's one of the biggest holidays celebrated around the world, and there are all sorts of things to do: decorating a tree, making cookies, watching Christmas movies, and all sorts of other things."

Skywarp nodded and looked back at the twins still going at it. He spotted the green object he had seen earlier and pointed at it. "What's that?"

"Mistletoe," the woman said with another sigh. "The Twins are going around and hanging them in random places in hopes of catching the others underneath them. It sort of backfired when they forgot about the one under the table." She watched Rumble and Frenzy fight for dominance before bending down to snatch the decoration from the bottom of the table. "You two: come here."

Rumble and Frenzy broke apart and stepped forward with a little hesitance. Victoria made a show of holding the mistletoe between them and her before quickly bent down to give them both a smooch. "There, your problem is solved. Now go find the other pieces of mistletoe those two slaggers stole, and I'll give you both a _whole _cookie."

The Cassettes grinned at the knowledge of getting paid to sabotage their Autobot rivals' prank and ran off to get started. Victoria looked down at the object of a once innocent holiday custom and tossed it into one of the boxes. Skywarp made a noise and jumped up to hang on the edge of the box and look down at where it had landed. "What was that about?"

"Hmm?" Victoria hummed in question, having already moved on to pull out a wad of green tinsel. She looked over to see that he had crawled in to the box to retrieve the mistletoe. "Oh, it's just a fake plant that's supposed to make couple's kiss if they walk under it. If I had known that you guys would be so obsessed over it, I wouldn't have pulled it out for Swoop."

"Kiss?" Skywarp repeated before he figured out what she was talking about. With a sly smile, he jumped up with the mistletoe and hovered not far from her. "So if I was to, say, hang this between the two us, you'd have to kiss me, right?"

"Yep," she answered nonchalantly, turning back to pick up the tinsel. "Mirage looked it up, and the article he found said that you stay single for an entire year if you don't."

Skywarp smirked and went to carry out his brilliant plan when a distraction flew between them and landed on Victoria's shoulder. "Victoria! Me Swoop forget what me do!"

The tinsel was immediately forgotten as the human stood up, making Skywarp silently curse the Dinobot. "Don't worry. I said I would help you, and I will. Now let's go –where's your mistletoe Swoop?"

Swoop looked down at his empty hands. "Twins say them need it."

"They have enough spread around the house already," Victoria said with a roll of her eyes. She glanced down and noticed the piece that Skywarp held out in front of him and took it with a gracious smile. "Thank you Skywarp. Now come one Swoop; there's not much sunlight left."

Skywarp watched Victoria leave with a frown and looked down at where the mistletoe had once been in his servos. This was obviously going to be a lot harder than he thought.

**[~]**

Swoop walked around the little area on the porch that Victoria had decided would be perfect to use. He was a little amazed at all the hassle she had gone through to make the tiny space look nice, even requesting Mirage's help when it came to mixing and matching their tiny furniture to make it look like it went together. He thought the spy was more of a bother than actual help, but Victoria had taken all of his suggestions pretty seriously and was now connecting the string of lights to the outdoor socket while Mirage nimbly climbed up the human-sized chair for a better view.

Swoop flew up to join him and watched with amazement as the corner of the porch lit up in a dazzling array of multi-colored lights. Mirage seemed satisfied until he pointed to a string of lights making a pattern in the snow. "You should move this string slightly to the left." Victoria did so, and the mech made a noise of satisfaction. "Better."

"I think it looks wonderful," Victoria bragged while stepping over to the chair they sat in. "Very romantic."

"Yes, well, good luck with your romantic night," Mirage said, hopping down from the chair to head inside before what little light the sun still radiated vanished. "You will need it if you hope for this to succeed."

Swoop shifted around as Victoria bent down to fix a stray bulb that had gone out. The pterodactyl groaned and jumped down to land on the back of her shoulder. "What if him Mirage right? What if this no work?"

"Of course it will work," she assured him with a quick pat on the head before pulling him off to put down beside the table. "Laserbeak has already shown that she likes you; this is just a little shove in the right direction for you both."

Swoop didn't look very convinced as he played with the small plastic chair. "What if me Swoop do something stupid?"

"You are not going to do anything stupid," the woman said as she checked the little sprig of mistletoe they had tie to one of the lights that crisscrossed above the small table. "What makes you think that?"

The Dinobot shrugged and moved from playing with the chair to messing with the birthday candle Victoria had cut down to size. It had something do with making the atmosphere more "romantic." Swoop didn't even pretend to understand. "We Dinobots not very smart. Do dumb stuff all time."

Victoria stopped her fiddling to focus on him. "You are not stupid."

He shrugged. "Just fact. Him Wheeljack not put much processor space when making us. Not really expect to work."

"You are not stupid," she repeated and bent down to poke at his head. Swoop tilted back from the force but only rubbed at where her finger had been. "You're under training to be a medic, and I'm not exactly sure how much smarts that takes back on Cybertron, but you have to be pretty smart here. I'm definitely positive that you're smarter than the Twins."

Swoop smiled at that and watched her pull out a small lighter to light the candle. "Everyone say we Dinobots no smart."

"Well they're all wrong and that doesn't say much about them." Victoria smiled at him and patted his head as she stood up. "Good luck. I'll get Laserbeak out here as soon as I find her."

Victoria turned to walk inside but stopped when she felt a weight on her shoulder, and she turned her head just in time for Swoop to press himself against her cheek in as close to a hug as he could possibly do. "Thank you. You Victoria good friend because not many make friends with Dinobots."

She smiled, though she felt a small twinge of sadness as Swoop flew back down to wait by his table. The medic-in-training was one of the sweetest people she had ever met and to hear him state so casually that he was stupid and didn't have many friends just broke her heart. That probably explained why no matter how social the little Dinobot appeared to be, he normally stuck close to Wheeljack and Ratchet, a pair that he seemed to treat like parents.

It just made her more determined to get Laserbeak outside as she stepped into the house. Victoria would be lying if she said she didn't think the idea of the couple was…odd. A Decepticon Cassette and an Autobot Dinobot that was almost bigger than most of the other mechs? But it was cute! In a way…at least it wasn't one of the Seekers who had become infatuated with the Dinobot.

Speaking of Seekers, what was Thundercracker looking so mortified about as he stood beside Ratchet, who was yelling at the Twins as they grinned like the mischief-makers they were?

"This has gone too far!" Ratchet yelled as Victoria got closer. "Take these abominations down and return them to Victoria before I disassemble the two of you and reassemble you as blenders!"

Despite the threat, Sideswipe still chuckled. "But if you don't kiss you'll both be doomed to a human year of being single."

The medic took a threatening stepped towards both them, causing them to subconsciously take a step back. "Do I really look like I care?" The Twins shook their heads, and Ratchet backed up. "If I walk under one of these again, your next check-up will not be a pleasant one. That is a promise—not a threat!"

Victoria shook her head as Ratchet walked off into the kitchen and Sideswipe scrambled to get the mistletoe that they had somehow hung in the archway of the living room. Thundercracker still looked a little confused when he finally noticed her standing there. "What is this about having to kiss others while standing under a plant?"

The woman took the plant that Sideswipe willingly held up to her before explaining. "It's just a tradition that if you stand under mistletoe with another person, then you have to kiss them or have bad luck with your love life for a year. Don't you guys talk to each other about this stuff? Because if I have to explain this one more time, I'll start pulling my hair out."

"What does a little plant have to do with your…dating habits?" Thundercracker asked with more confusion than curiosity.

"It doesn't really do anything," she tried to explain as the Autobots looked back and forth between the human and Decepticon. "It's just a myth that a lot of people enjoy playing with around this time of year."

"Are you sure?" the jet asked suspiciously as he crossed his arms over his orange cockpit. "Because I have bad enough luck in _that_ aspect of my life thanks to Starscream and Skywarp. I don't need a human curse to make it more difficult."

Victoria sighed and bent down to hold the plant between them and stooped down lower to kiss the top of his helm. He nodded in satisfaction and walked off, observing his surroundings more closely in order to avoid this newfound "threat." The woman went to stand once more before catching the Twins slyly give each other high-fives. "What are you two planning?"

Sunstreaker's pleased look morphed into a scowl, and Sideswipe innocently smiled up at her. "Nothing. Have you seen Optimus lately?"

"Not since this morning." She paused to stare at them. "You guys leave him alone. I don't think anyone's explained the mistletoe to him yet."

"That's what makes it so much funner!" Sideswipe protested as he started to walk away with his brother.

Victoria watched them leave. "Leave him alone…and 'funner' isn't a real word!" She sighed as she watched them vanish down the hallway and finally stood up. "I knew I shouldn't have let them know about the mistletoe. I could have just shown it to Swoop, but no! I had to tease Red Alert with it and now the Twins have gone rampant. I'll learn one day; I know I will."

"Talking to self is inadvisable."

Victoria squeaked and looked down at the silent mech who had snuck up on her. "Oh my—Soundwave!" She paused to stare at him. "When did you start talking in full sentences?"

Soundwave patiently shook his head and continued to stare up at her. She shifted a little at the blank stare and shook her head to rid herself of the heavy feeling that had suddenly fallen on her. "Well since you're here, do you happen to know where Laserbeak is?"

The telepath continued to stare before slowly nodding. "Current location: kitchen. Query: trouble?"

"No, no!" Victoria answered quickly and with an emphasized wave of her hand. "I just…need to borrow her for a joor or two."

The Decepticon looked slightly interested before burying it under his usual impassive mask. "Permission: granted. Laserbeak return in one joor."

"Thank you," she said as the little Cassette she had been asking for flew across the hallway to join them in the living room. "Oh, you called her too!"

Soundwave nodded and held his arm up for Laserbeak to land. The raptor landed, and the next couple of seconds included what Victoria believed to be a silent conversation between the cassette player and his Cassette. Laserbeak ended it with a nod and flew up to hover around the brunette's head. The human thanked the mech once again and nudged Laserbeak in the direction of the backdoor. Laserbeak complied and flew ahead until they were a good distance away from the mech, and Victoria finally stopped. "You've been looking for Swoop all day, right?"

Laserbeak emitted what could only be described as a little trill that made Victoria smile and look innocently out the sliding door. "Well, I heard that he just went outside…"

She didn't have to say anymore as the little femme let out an excited sound and flew out the door. Victoria's smile widened as she pressed against the door to watch the mini-bird immediately crash into a nervous Swoop and giggled when Swoop tried to get Laserbeak to sit on the table so that he could "romance" her. It was sweet to watch the pterodactyl be almost snuggled to death by the quiet Cassette.

"Looks like Swoop's got himself a little femme-friend," Wheeljack commented as he snuck through the door. He shook off the snow that had stuck to him and turned to look at the couple once more. "I would have never thought to pair a Dinobot and a Cassette together."

"You have to admit that they're very sweet together," Victoria said, watching Laserbeak finally calm down and allow Swoop to begin the date he had been so meticulous at planning.

"I'll admit to nothing until you tell Ratchet one of his medics is dating a Decepticon," the engineer said cheerfully as he turned away from the pair. "He's pretty protective of Swoop and First Aid, his other trainee."

The woman stared down at the mech, then out at the flying couple, and back down to Wheeljack. "Well, I don't see why Ratchet needs to be told _now._ I mean, we don't even know if it'll work."

The fins on Wheeljack's helm humorously lit up as they left the pair outside to be alone and headed to the kitchen. "My vocalizer is offline. But just so you know, I _will_ throw you under the bus if Ratchet comes after me for not telling him."

Victoria nodded in understanding as she reached the cabinets and began to search for something to make for supper. Wheeljack crawled up the chair to continue their conversation as she cooked, briefly pausing to wave at where Ratchet was conversing in the corner with Optimus. "Enough about that. I was wondering if you could find me an article about roller coasters. That show we watched was really informative, but there are some things that just-"

He was cut off by a sudden loud whoop and looked over to see that Sideswipe had climbed up onto the counter with them and was running towards them, pointing above their heads. "Yes! You guys gotta kiss now!"

Wheeljack looked up at where the front-liner pointed and didn't understand why Victoria was suddenly groaning in aggravation. "What's that?"

"I'm going to burn all of these tonight," Victoria growled as she snatched the strategically placed plant from where it hung from the cabinet's knob. She waved it towards Sideswipe as Sunstreaker finally caught up to him. "What prank are you two planning with the mistletoe?"

"I swear that we are not pranking anyone," Sideswipe said insistently as he jumped to regain one of the few pieces he had left. The human kept it just out of his reach, and he sighed. "Is it such a bad thing that I'm only trying to immerse us in the many strange customs that humans seem to have?"

"I don't know," Victoria said, leaning down to get a closer look at the mechs. "Tell me again, only be more convincing and less Sideswipe."

"Cruel woman. You have learned too much from the Hatchet," Sideswipe said while trying to mimic the Chinese accent he had recently come to like. Sunstreaker snorted at the poor attempt and earned a fake glare. "Seriously though, I'm only trying to get everyone used to it. Might as well since we have no idea how much longer we'll be here." He noticed how the mistletoe hung between them both and grinned as he held his arms up. "We're stuck between the mistletoe. Pucker up sweet-spark!"

The serious expression on her face broke as Victoria gave into the humor of the situation. "I've kissed more guys in the last six hours than I ever have in my whole life." She bent down and gave the front-liner and confused inventor a quick kiss before looking back at Sunstreaker. "Do you want one too?"

Sunstreaker glared as his brother forced him under the Christmas plant to receive his smooch. He made a show of growling and wiping the facial fin that she had "contaminated". "Stupid squishy rituals."

**[~]**

Bluestreak couldn't remember the last time he had been so cautious, but it paid off as he was able to dance around one of the Twin's traps. There was no way he was going to be caught beneath one of them with _anyone._ He had already seen what would happen if he waltzed under one with the higher ranked officers. Mirage had been rightfully mortified the one time he managed to walk under one with Jazz. As a matter of fact, he had seen Jazz aiding Sideswipe in hanging some of the mistletoe up, so the TIC must be treating the entire situation like a game and seeing how many mechs he could embarrass.

He managed to make it to the kitchen without incident and immediately detoured to the living room, even though the mech he had been looking for, Prowl, was speaking to Optimus and Ratchet in the corner of the room. Victoria was sitting at the table talking with Wheeljack. Bluestreak felt bad about his sudden need to avoid the woman, but he shoved the feeling away and stepped into the living room to observe the decorations that she had hung up.

Christmas was definitely a colorful holiday if the different colored tinsel told him anything. It was framing just about anything it could: the TV, the windows, the doors. Then there were the various ornaments hanging around the room. Many of them were hanging from the knobs of the TV case while others were hanging from lamps or other sharp corners that the room provided. He smiled at the little clay ornament of Optimus hanging from a prominent spot beside the TV.

A flash of movement caught the sharpshooter's attention, and he moved over to the sliding door to look out into the night. He pressed a cheek-plate against the window to look at the brightly lit corner of the porch before jumping back with a surprise yelp as something flew past him. Bluestreak watched as Laserbeak swooped through the air and joined what he could barely make out as Swoop. They twisted and dived in almost perfect harmony that left the Praxian watching with amazement. Since when did Swoop and Laserbeak fly together?

"Hey!"

Bluestreak shouted in surprise at the sudden presence behind him and quickly turned around while grabbing for his rifle. The mech behind him immediately grabbed his arm and twisted in such a way that he couldn't reach his subspace but it didn't harm him in any way. Jazz easily smiled at the sharpshooter's surprise. "What's got ya so jumpy, Blue?"

Bluestreak sighed and rubbed the wrist joint Jazz had grabbed. Even when he was being "gentle," the short mech had a powerful grip. "Jazz! You can't just sneak up on people like that. What if I was already holding my rifle or hadn't even bothered to use my gun and just punched you? I know your Special Ops, but you don't have to sneak up on everyone like that!"

"One: Ah'm much faster than you an' ya neva' would've a chance ta attack me; two: ya just can't turn that type o' programmin' off when ya feel like it; three: it's hilarious ta see y'all jump like that." Jazz grinned at the Praxian's pout. "Back ta what Ah came over 'ere fo' ta begin with. Where ya been all day? Ah get da feelin' that you've been hidin' from us."

The grey mech shook his head in denial. "I'm not hiding from anyone. I was just…trying to avoid Sides and Sunny's prank."

Jazz rubbed the back of his helm as he stared at the younger 'bot. "Well, that aint good. Sunny an' Sides got a bet goin' on with 'Hide. The old-timer bet da Twins that they couldn't get a certain list o' mechs under da mistletoe with Vicky. You just happen ta be one o' 'em."

"Why'd they do that?" Bluestreak asked as he fought to keep himself calm.

The saboteur watched him before shrugging. "Don't know. Might 'ave been 'cause they teased old 'Hide fo' gettin' a kiss. Either way, da only ones left other than you are Optimus an' me. And Ah was plannin' on gettin' some smooches soon."

Jazz finished with a grin that _almost_ made Bluestreak glare, but he shook it away before the black and white mech noticed. "Is that what they've been doing all day?"

The saboteur nodded and tilted his head. Bluestreak stared back at the frowning mech before uncomfortably shifting under his gaze. "What?"

"What's wrong Baby Blue?" Jazz asked, not hiding the concern his voice held. "Ya been actin' weird taday. Avoidin' everybody, not talkin', bein' jumpier than usual—ya even got Prowl worried."

"I'm fine," Bluestreak assured him and stepped around the mech to leave the living room. "Just because I talk all the time doesn't mean I can't stop talking for a while and something be wrong. I mean, jeez. And why can't I spend a little time to myself? We've been stuck together for so long and none of us get much privacy; I just found a place to be alone, and I took advantage of it before anyone else discovered it. And who wouldn't be jumpy with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker running around with their latest prank. Can you imagine getting stuck under the mistletoe with someone like _Skywarp?"_

Jazz watched him leave, tilting his head the other way with a frown. "Ya don't like bein' alone…"

Bluestreak didn't look back as he fled the room, taking a sharp left when he noticed that Victoria was still in the kitchen and turning abruptly when he saw the Twins standing not far from him. He didn't escape them fast enough as Sideswipe flung an arm over his shoulder. "Hey Blue! Where have you been all day?" Sideswipe forcibly steered him towards the kitchen, and Bluestreak gave Sunstreaker a pleading look that was ignored. "We've been looking for ya! Ya see, we have this bet with Ironhide and-"

"No, no, no," Bluestreak said, breaking Sideswipe's grip and fleeing to stand near Sunstreaker. "I am not kissing Victoria."

"You don't actually _have_ to kiss her," the red prankster insisted as he waved around the mistletoe he retrieved from his subspace. "She has to kiss you."

"No," the sharpshooter stated, and Sunstreaker tilted his head at how serious their little friend sounded.

Unlike his brother, Sideswipe wasn't nearly as observant and playfully hung the mistletoe between the yellow and grey mech. "Would you rather kiss Sunny? 'Cause, you know, now you'll be cursed to be single."

"I'll take my chances," Bluestreak insisted, backing up to retreat back to the bedroom.

The red front-liner groaned and made a grab for the grey sniper. "Come on, Blue!"

"I don't wanna kiss Victoria!"

"And why not?"

"'Cause I don't want it to hurt anymore when we leave!" Bluestreak finally snapped. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe took a step back as the Praxian's wings snapped to attention, and he glared angrily at them. "You've been hounding me about admitting how I feel and _insisting_ that I feel more for Victoria, and I'm tired of telling you to leave me alone! I don't _want_ to acknowledge how I feel. You wanna know why? Because we're not staying here and eventually we have to go home, and Victoria's gotta stay here. I know what it's like to lose someone you care for abruptly, and I don't want to experience that again, so _please_, leave me alone about it, okay?"

The pair watched Bluestreak quickly retreat down the hallway, shocked at how angrily the grey mech had responded. Sideswipe watched his brother turn to say something but snapped his mouth close at the sight of something behind him. The red mech turned and flinched when he met the gaze of a glaring Prowl. Prowl shot them each an equally hard glare before stiffly passing them to follow Bluestreak. Sideswipe waited for him to vanish into the bedroom before sighing. "Well-"

"Ya done gone an' done it now."

Sunstreaker flinched at Sideswipe's yell and glared at the Special Ops mech standing casually behind his brother. "Do you mind?"

"Nah," Jazz answered, though not as cheerfully as usual. "But Ah would avoid makin' Prowl unnecessarily angry fo' a while. Baby Blue's like a li'lbrotha' ta 'im, an' he don't take kindly ta anythin' that makes Blue unhappy." The short Autobot clapped a servo on Sideswipe's shoulder before walking past them in the same direction as the other two.

Sunstreaker snorted at the feeling of remorse that flooded Sideswipe's end of the twin bond and unceremoniously slapped him on the back of the helm, earning an irritated glare. "You should have listened to me before! I told you to leave Bluestreak alone."

"If I recall, you said something along the lines of Blue being dense or something."

"And that was code for 'Leave Blue the Frag Alone!'" The golden warrior sighed at his brother's lack of perception. He began to tell his brother off for being so pushy when something caught his optic. "Where did Skywarp get that other piece of mistletoe?"

Sideswipe spun around to see the jet crossing from the living room to the kitchen with the plant in his hand and a determined skip in his stride. "Slaggit! I thought we stole all of it from him."

"Well he found some more," Sunstreaker said with a glare. He cast his brother a look, which was returned not a second later. "We warned him that our brief alliance wouldn't last."

"He's obviously trying to move in our squishy."

"The Autobots _do_ need an official mascot."

"So we're on the same page now?"

A silent agreement was reached as the brothers did a quick fist bump and stalked after the conniving jet.

**[~]**

"And what was this plant meant to do again?"

"Nothing. It does absolutely nothing. Your mechs have just finally lost it Optimus."

Optimus sighed as he watched Sideswipe pass them by in his alt-mode, a sprig of mistletoe secured to the top of his roof. Skywarp followed behind him with angry curses, shooting at him from a distance and cursing more as the car swerved and escaped injury. Sunstreaker was climbing up onto the coffee table to jump on the jet the next time his brother headed that way. Wheeljack, who was not part of the chase, drove around the table with a tiny strip of green tinsel taped to his roof and flying in the wind he created. The engineer was surprisingly getting into the Christmas spirit, even after being whacked multiple times by Ratchet for trying to get the medic to wear the red tinsel like a boa.

Optimus sighed and turned to look at Victoria, who leaned over the back of the couch beside where he stood. Swoop was rocking back and forth on her shoulder and happily humming as he kept looking over his shoulder where Laserbeak was in the kitchen with her brothers. The Prime thought the Dinobot would have to take lessons from Jazz if he wished to keep his sudden interest in the Cassette a secret. Although, maybe he _did_ know how to keep it on the down-low because Ratchet wasn't even aware of the infatuation yet.

"Are you sure you wish to attempt another trip into town?" he finally asked as Sunstreaker tensed to jump onto the passing Seeker.

Victoria didn't immediately answer him as she shot her prepared rubber band to hit the yellow front-liner's back. Sunstreaker flinched away from the sudden sting and turned to glare at the woman preparing another rubber missile. At least she hadn't hit him mid-jump and caused him to fall to the floor like last time. "I've got to. Not only am I running low on…uh…_essential items, _but I've got Christmas shopping to do, and that won't be easy to do since there are only about four days until Christmas. Though, it's better than last year when I was out on Christmas Eve trying to find something for my dad."

She shot another rubber band at Sunstreaker, who snarled when it managed to hit his head, before continuing. "I don't think the Decepticons will destroy anything after the way I snapped at the Seekers."

Optimus shook his head while Swoop finally vacated Victoria's shoulder after a brief hug and flew over to where Wheeljack had transformed and was once again trying to convince Ratchet to wear a tinsel-boa along with a grinning Ironhide. "At this point, I am not sure what the Decepticons have planned. I should have thought my plan through a little more before allowing them access to the movies. I should have at least watched them ahead of time."

"Don't start stressing out about it," Victoria insisted, sticking her tongue out at Sunstreaker when he managed to dodge her latest attack. "I still think it was a good idea, and Megatron's been quiet about it all day."

"That's what I worry about," Optimus mused before turning to look at the numbers that one of the movie players displayed. "I believe it is about time that you retired."

The woman's response came in the form of a yawn as she stood up from her leaned position to stretch her arms above her head. "I think you're right. Man, time flies when you're decorating and setting a Dinobot and Cassette up for a date. Not to mention dodging mistletoes."

Optimus chuckled as the woman retreated after a quick wave to the mechs in the room. He turned to jump down when the last rubber band caught his attention.

Sunstreaker turned to glare at the latest attack and blinked when he only found Optimus climbing down the arm of the couch.

Meanwhile, Victoria had made it to her room with only one more tired yawn and blinked when she spotted the few mechs still in the bookcase. With a tired smile, she made her way over to the three sitting on the edge of the shelf. "Hey Bluestreak! I haven't seen you all day."

Bluestreak frowned as his door kibble drooped with guilt. Jazz leaned in and nudged him while Prowl glared at the saboteur for almost knocking them both over in the process. "Yeah, sorry. I was kinda…hiding from the Twins."

"I don't blame you," Victoria said with an eye roll. "I was about to lock them in the closest when they managed to get a mistletoe over Optimus' head."

Jazz chuckled at the thought of their leader being caught unaware by the human ritual. "I bet that was interestin'."

"You have no idea." Victoria paused and noticed how the grey sniper wouldn't look at her. "Hey, are you alright?"

Bluestreak snapped to attention and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine! Just thinking 'bout stuff, ya know?"

She frowned at how short the mech's explanations were but shrugged. "Good. By the way, I'm going into town tomorrow to do some shopping. Since you've been hiding all day from the pranksters, I was wondering if you'd like to get out of the cabin with me tomorrow."

Bluestreak looked torn between saying yes or no, which immediately caught her attention since it was odd for the talkative Autobot not to instantly agree. He rubbed his red chevron in thought as he looked back and forth between the mechs he sat between. Jazz smiled at him in an encouraging manner while Prowl just nodded and turned to scrutinize the woman standing in front of them. Bluestreak finally shrugged. "Yeah, sure, I guess…if you don't mind?"

Victoria smiled and nodded. "Of course I don't mind; it's why I asked." She stood up. "We'll leave a little before everyone in the house starts moving around in the morning, 'kay?"

Bluestreak nodded and leaned against Jazz as he watched her retreat across the room to get ready for bed. Jazz nudged him again. "See? It's somethin' when someone notices ya not there."

The younger mech grunted, and Prowl shot a hard stare over at the saboteur. "Do not make this more difficult than it already is."

The TIC shrugged, causing Bluestreak's helm to move with the movement. "Ya neva' know. 'Jack's machines 'ave done crazier things."

Prowl's gaze didn't falter as he moved to stand. "It is an improbability that should not even be discussed. Keep the idea to yourself Jazz. There is no reason to make the others start thinking."

Jazz turned his head to watch his companion retreat further up the bookshelf where the "private quarters" were located. Bluestreak still leaned against him, so he poked the abdominal plating located just below the Praxian's bumper. "Don't look so blue, Blue. Ah'm sure it's gonna work out."

Bluestreak hummed before standing up and following Prowl. "Maybe."

**[~]**

Skywarp fumed as he stomped back to base, the useless piece of plastic dangling from his servo. Those deplorable front-liners! He had spent the better part of almost two joors chasing after those slaggers, and what does he get in the end? Oh, he got his mistletoe back (the third that had been stolen from him, by the way), but he got it back just in time to find out that Victoria had already retired for the night! And those dumb-aft Autobots had laughed at him!

He growled at the memory of Sideswipe suddenly screeching to a halt and "kindly" returning the plant to him. Then he'd laughed and ran off to find his twin after telling the Seeker that Victoria had left the room four breems ago. They were seriously worse than the Cassettes on a good day.

The door to the laundry room slid open, and Skywarp sidled through the gap without a problem. The Decepticons were already grouped together on the floor, waiting on him to begin their so-called meeting. These group gatherings mostly consisted of Megatron and Starscream insulting each other while Soundwave monotonously cut in before major harm could be done. Somehow, they all came out of the meetings with some new form of knowledge.

"Skywarp, we've been waiting for you." So he had been right! "The others have already told what new information they have gathered."

Oh…so he was late? How dare they start without him? He caught a glimpse of Starscream trying not to snicker as Thundercracker just sighed at his mock anger. Megatron was glaring at him, and it took a moment for Skywarp to remember what his mission had been. Well darn, it was going to be kind of hard to please the former gladiator since Skywarp hadn't been around Victoria for long that day. And he certainly didn't want to end up in a pile of scrap like Starscream usually did.

The Seeker shifted under the dark red gaze, and the feeling of something brushing against his leg brought his attention back to what he held in his hand. With a grin, he held up the object with a flourish. Megatron stared at the mistletoe with a frown. "Yes, what is it?"

Skywarp could see Thundercracker almost gaping as he stepped across the circle to strategically hold the plant between the Decepticon leader and his tri-colored brother. "It is a very…deadly human weapon that curses all who stand between it." He gasped and jerked it back, causing Megatron to intently stare. "Oh jeez. I'm so sorry you two! It appears I have inadvertently cursed you with a whole human year of…unimaginable, uh, stuff!"

The blue Seeker on the other side of the circle shook his head, and Barricade snorted as he was well aware of the human tradition that had been running rampant throughout the house all day. Fortunately (or unfortunately, whichever way you wished to look at it), neither Starscream nor Megatron had been out and about during the great Mistletoe Mania, and Starscream was currently staring at the decoration with abject horror. "Skywarp you idiot! Do you ever think before doing something?"

"Funny you should say that! I was just getting into the habit of doing that today when TC-"

"Skywarp," Megatron interrupted with a growl.

"Yes Lord Megatron?" Skywarp asked innocently as Rumble and Frenzy tried to keep their manic laughter muted.

"There had better be a way to negate this."

"Of course!" The prankster stepped closer and said in a mock whisper, "Ya gotta make-out with 'Screamer."

The room was dead silent as Skywarp stepped back and looked at them expectantly. Starscream looked as if he was about to purge what little he had consumed in the past day, and Megatron glared disconcertingly at the Seeker standing before him. To his credit, Skywarp didn't even flinch at the unwavering glare. Megatron finally stood down and turned to his Air Commander. "Come along Starscream."

Starscream looked terrified as the leader strode towards a dark corner of the room. "What? You don't actually _believe_ what Skywarp is saying, do you?"

"_Starscream."_

"No!" the jet screeched and transformed to flee the room. "I'd rather live with this curse than go anywhere near you!"

Megatron growled and ran after his traitorous second-in-command, yelling something about not being defeated because of a human curse. Skywarp finally started snickering as the pair cleared the room, and the Cassettes were all but rolling on the floor with their laughter. Barricade had few chuckles to add to their laughter as he retreated to the dryer, and Soundwave decided he had waited long enough to trail after his leader.

The circle dispersed, leaving a still snickering Skywarp and an exasperated Thundercracker behind. Thundercracker sighed. "Was that really necessary?"

"What do you think?" the other jet answered between his last few chuckles. He calmed down to see his brother staring at him moodily. "Oh come on TC! Even you had to find that hilarious."

"I think it's amazing that _I'm _the one worrying while _you're_ the one who's in deep slag."

Skywarp's grin stayed on his face as he hovered back up to the Seekers' Nest. "I still think it was totally worth it."

Thundercracker simply shook his head and flew up to join him. When Megatron and Starscream found out they had been had, Thundercracker wasn't going to stand in their angry path. After all, Skywarp wanted to be treated like an adult. He'd just have to take his punishment like one too.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> You can't see me right now, but I'm doing a little jig after finishing this chapter after sitting on it for three days :D (I'm a terrible writer…). And it's all because I've got ideas for the next chapter runnin' around in my head! I was thrown off after logging on after those three days (that's a lie…I never log off this site…) and finding out that you can sort the stories by reviews now. So, I had to play with it only to realize that I've already read the stories with the highest reviews…so the sorting option is kind of pointless for me :'( I've always wanted to find all the "high-rated" stories easily…*sigh* you should have decided to improve your site earlier Fanfiction! (I seriously wonder if the site has suddenly come under new management.)

…I apologize for how random that seemed. I've been drinking unhealthy sodas all day :D Anyway, you anonymous reviewers need to get an account! I hate that I can't instantly reply to you guys like I do with…most of the signed reviews when I don't forget... I still appreciate the reviews though, so don't stop!

'Til next Saturday :D

**EDITED: 3/25/2014 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	18. Christmas Shopping

**AN: **Eh heh…as you can see I missed updating Saturday. Long and short of it, I didn't have a very good week last week and have firmly decided that I _definitely_ don't want kids for a while. They're cute and all but there are some days you just wanna pull your hair out, which is why I'm happy I can give my mom her kids back at the end of the day.

But I'm sure none of you really care about excuses! I'm sorry to all of y'all that this took longer to get out, especially Anonymous BW FanGirl, who was apparently desperate enough to review the last chapter twice because I missed my updating date. Don't worry girl, you're not the only without a life; I'll…sort of…happily admit that I don't have one either :D

Okie dokie! One more thing before starting (or maybe two, but I'll make it quick!), the love-zap idea belongs to Rose's . wings (without the spaces) , who gave me full permission to use it, and comes from her story _I Lost a World!_ Last but not least a little warning before reading there's slightly more profanity in this chapter, and I apologize right now if that happens to offend some of you.

_"__Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>_**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>_

_Off-cycle: night  
>Solar Cycle: 1 day<br>Megacycle: ~2.6 hours  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Seventeen

Christmas Shopping with a Little Side of Crazy

* * *

><p><strong>Day 20<strong>

Red Alert hated the cabin. It was just so, so…_insecure!_ Ratchet and Mirage had been telling him from the very get-go that the cabin was as secure as the _Ark_ had been, but he begged to differ! He had no idea what was going on in the rooms around them and only Jazz's word on the Decepticons' latest movements. And the _Ark_ most certainly did_ not_ creak and groan ominously like the cabin did during the off-cycle or receive uninvited visitors in the form of organic "animals" (as Victoria had explained them to be) that, and he swore this every time he saw one, appeared on the porch out of thin air just to give him a spark-attack as their beady little eyes stared directly into his spark and plotted his demise.

Besides the constant assurance from Ratchet and Mirage, Optimus had once assured him (or maybe it had been multiple times by now. He didn't keep track of insignificant things when he was constantly in a state of…potential danger!) that Victoria was highly adept at keeping the cabin secure, but Red Alert _still_ wasn't completely ready to put all of his trust in her. She was feeding their enemies for Primus' sake!

Oh yes, he knew of her treacherous secret! How she would occasionally leave a small plate of crackers by the laundry room door before going to bed. Jazz had told Optimus when Red Alert had gone running to inform him that the reason the woman did it was to treat the factions "equally" and "fairly," but Red Alert still gave her the stink eye every once in a while…when she wasn't trying to wipe their processors! He was still adamant that Ratchet check everyone after that, that _kissing_ fiasco yesterday. You could never be too sure with alien races…

…fraggit! He missed his monitors. And maybe Inferno. But mostly the monitors. They were his babies.

He groaned as the thought randomly flashed through his processor. The humans' speech was beginning to rub off on him. Soon, he'd be as brainwashed as the Twins and Jazz!

With a slightly slouching posture, Red Alert ambled down the hallway with no specific destination in mind. Ratchet hadn't been very happy to find out that he had been, uh, _inspecting_ the dust bunnies beneath the bed all day. No, he hadn't been hiding! But the medic hadn't believed him and kicked him out of the room, which was completely unfair because that cut him off from the base, and he was needed there! Sort of…in a roundabout way that may or may not have involved Mirage and his iPad.

The mech turned the corner into the living room and froze. What the…someone had switched the rooms! This couldn't possibly be the living room. It was covered in shiny strings of plastic stuff and ornaments that hung from just about any surface they could. On the TV wasn't one of the normal loud action movies that _everyone_ was always sucked into. Instead there was this horribly animated movie about a brown animal with this, this—that wasn't normal! No one's nose glowed red! And Victoria had said that animals didn't talk! Yet another inconsistency to add to her web of lies.

Red Alert was so focused on the tremendously illogical cartoon and the room switcheroo that he didn't notice the two menaces sneaking up on him. They exchanged a grin, tensing up to pounce. It was an awful mistake and neither realized it until it was too late.

The Autobot twisted around and grabbed the nearest twin by the arm, using the momentum from his continued spin to toss the red Decepticon into the living room. Stunned by his brother's startled yell, Frenzy slowed enough to stop just behind Red Alert and gapped at where Rumble landed not far from the couch. The Security Director didn't pause as he turned back around, grabbed the back of the Cassette's helm and tossed him over to land on his brother. The Cassettes were too stunned by mech's actions to even curse as they stared in confusion and surprise at the Autobot who released an offended huff.

"Don't mess with the paranoid mech," Red Alert almost scolded as he turned to stalk into the kitchen since it looked the same as opposed to the newly decorated living room. "I am prepared!"

Rumble and Frenzy stared at the mech's back as he left. Frenzy finally got over his stunned disbelief and looked at his brother. "What the hell was that?"

Before he could shrug, Rumble received a rough patting on the helm as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker walked past them. "That, dear deluded wannabes, was the wrath of Red. And that's _nothing_ compared to when he's trying to wrangle us up and throw us in the brig for doing naughty things in front of his precious cameras."

Sunstreaker snorted. Sideswipe's definition of "naughty things" included making funny faces, writing a message on the wall for Red, and, after he had done a particularly well done prank, tauntingly wiggling his aft at the cameras. The Cassettes had obviously been watching too much human TV because by the looks on their faces, they were thinking of something _completely_ different, which was fine with Sideswipe. More of a reputation for him!

Sideswipe kept up his carefree gait until they were out of the sight of the other set of twins, where he slouched and allowed his previously gloomy air to return. Sunstreaker shook his head. "You are such a—what do humans call it?—a drama queen."

The red twin glared as they subconsciously headed towards the other mechs in the room, which included Red Alert, Jazz, Prowl, and (strangely) Swoop. "Are you not feeling betrayed right now? Like your spark is about to overload from disappointment?"

Sunstreaker gave his brother a long look, one that plainly said "Get over it!" "As a matter of fact, I do not, drama queen."

Sideswipe waved off his new apparent nickname. "But they left without _telling us!"_

"Yeah, most likely because Victoria didn't want any tagalongs," Sunstreaker said, not really defending the human so much as stating fact. "Whose idea was it to climb into her bag the last time?"

"Mine."

"And who has been trying to convince her to go out again?"

"Me."

"With specific destinations and activities in mind?"

"Me again."

"Do you see a pattern here Sides?"

Sunstreaker watched his brother pause to think before shrugging. "I have no idea what you are trying to imply."

The golden twin groaned and completely stopped his brother with a hand on the shoulder. "Okay, one: you're the densest 'bot I have ever met." He ignored the protesting "Hey!" his brother voiced. "Two." He stopped to rudely punch the shoulder he had grabbed. "The only mech she took was _Blue!"_

Sideswipe rubbed his twinging shoulder with a glare aimed at Sunstreaker. "I still don't see why we couldn't have gone!" Sunstreaker glared at him for a moment before it finally dawned on him. "Ohhh! She only took _Blue._" His depressed attitude vanished, and he laughed as he started walking towards the other Autobots again. "My matchmaking is not a complete fail after all!"

Sunstreaker watched his brother walk away before looking up at the ceiling and praying earnestly, "Please Primus, give my brother a fully functioning processor. That human holiday coming up would be an excellent time to gift him with it." He thought about ending it with a mocking "amen" but decided that would be pushing it and moved to follow his brother. Unfortunately, he was suddenly grabbed by the arm and spun around at a dizzying speed before he came to a halt facing the entrance to the kitchen.

Once he was able to see straight again, Sunstreaker growled and turned to put a few dents in the mech that had dared touch him. He was surprised when a familiar high-pitched yell sounded behind him, and two surprisingly strong servos clasped the upper part of his arms to keep him in place. "Stay still! I don't want him to see me!"

Sunstreaker was debating on whether to rip the Seeker's wings off or just knock him out when the tiny form of Megatron stepped into the kitchen, twisting every which a way in search of something. "Starscream! I know you are in here. Be a mech and face the consequences of your brother's actions!"

Starscream yelped and crouched further down to hide his bulky frame behind the front-liner. Of all the mechs present, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were the only ones who came close to matching the Seekers' height, with maybe the exception of Optimus. Still, their frames weren't near big enough to hide the Decepticon fliers' wings, a proven fact as Megatron immediately honed in on the front-liner who had suddenly sprouted silvery white wings with red stripes. "Starscream!"

"Stay away from me!" Starscream screamed as he released Sunstreaker and took off again. "You've completely lost what little processor you had before coming here!"

Megatron growled and stomped after the fleeing jet. "I will not lose because of a human curse!"

Sunstreaker watched the leader chase his SIC back into the living room before turning to face his brother, his incredulity at the situation bleeding through their bond. Sideswipe just shrugged and turned back to Jazz, who was laughing at the event they had all just witnessed.

It seemed to be a fact of life that strange things happened within the cabin now.

**[~]**

"I figured we could just check out all the little shops instead of going to the mall because they're all cute little stores, and there's probably a better chance at finding what I want. And we can spend as much time in them as we want because I've already picked up essentials from Walmart, and there's nothing in the car that requires staying frozen. It'll be like a mini-vacation from the crazy back at the cabin."

Bluestreak just nodded and continued watching the cars and shops pass outside of the window, causing Victoria to bite her lip in worry and return her attention to finding a place to park along the semi-crowded streets. The sniper had been awfully quiet ever since they had left earlier that morning, making the silence in the car unbearable and urging her to be the one who filled it with talk. It was a lot more difficult than she had thought it to be, and she had to hand it to the grey mech for being able to do it just about every minute of the day.

The lack of talk had only been the first indication of something wrong, though the first sign arguably should have been when Jazz had all but pushed Bluestreak out of the bookshelf that morning. The second had been when he had insisted on staying out in the car when she went into the supercenter, stating that he just didn't want to venture into another big store after the trouble the Twins had caused the first time. The final symptom that had cemented her worry had been the mech's little door-wings. Not once had they shifted from their depressing position, and normally they were perked up and shifting with whatever he was saying.

Of course, Victoria couldn't just come right out and _ask_ what was wrong. Or at least, she thought she couldn't. She didn't have much personal experience with dealing with depressed people, and for all she knew, asking him might only set him off. That was how it was with her mom. Little things had caused her mother to suddenly start crying, and both her dad and mom would vanish for a while before coming back and acting like everything was okay. Thank God that kind of behavior hadn't lasted very long.

So, Victoria just sighed and carefully parked between two cars in front of a little hobby store. Bluestreak took one look at the tiny building with baskets of supplies being displayed in front of the store and asked, "What do you have to get here?"

Happy that his emotion-telling door-wings had perked up with his curiosity, Victoria explained, "I thought that you guys would enjoy celebrating an aspect of Christmas. Since I'm sure you wouldn't get into the religious part of it, we can do the gift giving part."

Bluestreak looked interested as he climbed into her bag without a second thought. "But doesn't that mean we have to buy stuff for you too?"

"Of course not," she answered, climbing out of the car. She paused to dig out enough quarters to put in the parking meter since she planned to check out the other shops along the street without moving her car. "It's your first Christmas, so you can be exempt from it."

The sniper ducked into the bag as she stepped into the little store. Upon entering, she was immediately reminded of her brother's studio back at the cabin. The scent of pencils and paints permeated the air, and she found herself fascinated by how many sketchbooks, painting canvases, and how-to books were piled onto the front display along with other artist utensils that were half off for the holiday season.

Ignoring the temptation of digging through the display even though there was nothing there she wanted, Victoria quickly found the first aisle she was looking for, and after checking that there was no one in that part of the small store, she allowed Bluestreak to jump out of her bag and onto the shelf. "Alright, first off I was thinking about getting Sunstreaker some paints."

Bluestreak pushed aside the box of paints that swayed from where it hung above him, wings sporadically twitching as he started to cheer up. "Why are you buying more paint? Sunny would be fine with the paints back at the cabin."

"Yeah, but I don't want to give him a gift of half used paint tubes," Victoria argued as she shifted through acrylic, watercolor, and oil paints. "But I have no idea which ones to get…"

The mech didn't answer as he yelped and quickly jumped back into the bag. The woman was surprised by the action but didn't have time to ask about it because an arm suddenly appeared to drape across her shoulders. "Well, hello there cutie."

"E-excuse me?" was the only thing Victoria could manage to get out as she sidestepped out from under the arm. She took a further step back to examine the young man that was nearly a head taller than her. He grinned at her, drawing her attention to the ring that hung from the right corner of his bottom lip and making her automatically note the other rings and studs that adorned his upper left eyebrow and both ears and were almost covered by the shock of white hair that his baseball cap flattened against the side of his head.

The young man tilted his head and widened his hazel eyes a bit before leaning in slightly. "You're not one of those feminist chicks that gets offended by nicknames, are you?"

"Um," Victoria stuttered as she realized this guy was about her age and had pretty eyes. "No?"

"Oh thank God!" he said in relief, retreating from her personal space as he straightened. "Because I've been slapped _way_ to many times by women who are. Although, that could have been because I also made comments about their big boobs…" He shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a boobie man."

"Uh," was the only thing Victoria could manage to voice as she stared at the man. Some men weren't very subtle, that she knew (they were also kind of dense, but that didn't apply to this situation…yet), but she had never met one that was this outspoken. No wonder he had been slapped as many times as he had implied. She glanced down and realized that Bluestreak was subtly poking his head out of her bag to glare at the man, and she thought she saw a flash of a weapon, which must have just been her eyes playing tricks on her. Bluestreak wouldn't suddenly attack another person…

"Ooh, paint!" the pierced man exclaimed as he reached around her to grab one of the boxes that she and Bluestreak had been examining moments before. "This is totally not what I came in here looking for, but I can use it on Aiden when he falls asleep tonight. You paint?"

Victoria straightened when she realized his attention was back on her. Now was not the time to be reminded of how awkward she was around guys. "N-no! I was just looking for a Christmas present."

He sagely nodded and seemed to look at her in a new light, something she wasn't exactly sure was a good thing. "Last minute shopper. I totally get where you're coming from. I still haven't bought anything for my pseudo-uncle back home…or anyone for that matter. Shopping for six other people sucks."

"Try about twenty-four," she countered with a nervous smile. Bluestreak was tugging on the end of her sweater that he could reach, making her angle herself a certain way to ensure that he wouldn't be seen.

"The hell woman!" Said woman slightly flinched at his exclamation. "What the fuck have you been waiting for?"

Victoria's grey eyes widened at how casually he cursed. He didn't seem to notice as he grabbed another box of paint from the shelf. "I'll tell you right now, depending on what level artist you're buying this for, your best bet would be to go with the acrylic paint. Oils take forever to dry, and if you use them incorrectly you can mix colors that you don't wanna mix and get a really ugly product. You could go with watercolors if you want, but some people have a hard time getting the colors the way they want them. Yep, acrylics are probably the safest choice."

The young man handed her the box he had grabbed and toyed with the one that was still in his hands. "You planning on buying brushes too? 'Cause some painters are ridiculously picky about the brushes they use."

"No, I've got enough brushes at home."

"Good, 'cause I didn't wanna look at brushes," he said and casually leaned against the shelf beside her, making Victoria awkwardly shift from one foot to the other. "I hate shopping for other artists. Some of them are so damn picky. By the way, what's your name cutie?"

Victoria was saved from answering as another male walked around the corner of the aisle and honed in on the pierced man attempting to flirt with her. "Nicholas! I told you not to come in here and harass the other customers!"

"No! You said 'Nicholas, don't offend another woman because we don't have the money for another sexual harassment lawsuit,'" Nicholas argued, forgetting about the woman he had been flirting with as he pointed an accusing finger at his companion. "I've been _helping_ this lovely young lady, and _you_ interrupted the very important ritual of the exchanging of names!"

The dark haired man obviously didn't believe Nicholas as he sighed and walked down the aisle to join them. He swatted Nicholas on the shoulder, which was reflexively retaliated by a much stronger blow to the stomach, making him slightly stagger back and sound a little winded as he apologized to Victoria. "I'm terribly sorry for whatever he has said. We're trying to train him, but it's obviously not working as well as we had hoped."

That earned him an angry slap to the back of the head that made him yelp. "I'm not a fucking dog!"

"No, you're not because even dogs are better behaved than you are!"

Victoria glanced between the two as they began to argue, Nicholas angrily cursing and his companion dramatically waving his arms around as he went off topic and started whining about not being respected. She took a step away from them and voiced a quiet "thank you" before quickly retreating from the aisle and ducking down another. Lucky for her, the pair didn't seem interested in staying in the store for much longer and left empty handed before the cashier could order them to leave.

She sighed and allowed Bluestreak to climb back out of her bag and onto a shelf that held brand named kids' crayons and markers. "Well, one gift down, about twenty-three more to go."

Bluestreak frowned as Victoria picked up a pack of washable markers. "I didn't like him. He was looking at you funny."

The woman bit her lip to restrain a smile, her awkwardness fading as she looked back on the situation with a little more humor. "I think he was trying to flirt with me."

"He wasn't very good at it."

"No, no he wasn't." She paused as she picked a pack of crayons to compare to the markers.

"He kinda reminded me of Sunstreaker. Their approach to femmes are remarkably alike. And by that I mean they're very bad at flirting."

The employee working the cash register was a little concerned when the woman on aisle three suddenly started laughing to herself.

**[~]**

Prowl stared as Starscream suddenly ran past him, screeching something about killing a certain black and purple jet. Moments later, Megatron came scurrying by, his tiny legs proving to be a great disadvantage as Starscream easily out ran him. The tactician felt an uncontrollable twitch as he heard Megatron yell, "Get back here and make out with me!"

"I will never bend to your will!"

"I am not above forcing you, you incompetent fool!"

Fortunately for Prowl, Optimus was standing next to him and was able to catch the second-in-command as his battle computer stalled and made him perilously tilt to the side. Optimus just shook his head as he held the Praxian and patiently waited for the battle computer to reboot. "I believe that may have been the strangest thing I have ever seen."

Wheeljack was about to agree when Red Alert came screaming past them, his glitch working full force as the Cassettes ran after him. "Get back here Autobot! Ya gotta teach us how you did that thing earlier!"

"Seriously, it was awesome! We promise not to attack you!"

"Aliens are replacing the Decepticons with clones!"

"I take it back," Optimus said with a sigh as Wheeljack chuckled. "_That_ may have been the strangest thing I've ever seen. Since when have Rumble and Frenzy been interested in Red Alert?"

Wheeljack shrugged. "I don't know, but we might need to go ahead and comm. Ratchet before Red Alert hurts himself."

Optimus nodded and allowed the engineer to support Prowl as he reached up to open a comm. link channel to the medic. _:Ratchet–:_

"Don't bother," the medic answered as he walked up to stand on the other side of the frozen Prowl. "I've been following them for a while now. What happened to Prowl this time?"

"Megatron seems to be getting a little…frisky with his second," Wheeljack replied with the right amount of happy flashes to show that he was grinning beneath his blast mask.

Ratchet sighed and swiftly smacked Prowl upside the head. The strategist's optics briefly flashed before settling on their usual dark blue color. "Your crashes are getting easier and easier to fix. Is your processor starting to accept this behavior as normal?"

"I'm afraid it is," Prowl answered while delicately rubbing the new shallow dent in his helm. "How did you get here so quickly?"

"Magic," the CMO said with a straight face and watched as Prowl's wings twitch, and a scowl appeared on the other officer's face. "What?"

"Finding new ways to make me crash is _not_ a recreational sport," Prowl said, watching the medic's lips twitch as he fought a smile. The tactician ignored him and turned back to Optimus and Wheeljack. "Now, back to what we were discussing before that…strange sight."

Optimus nodded and focused his attention on the engineer. "I believe Wheeljack was just about to give us a progress report."

"Well," Wheeljack started, undaunted by the fact that all three of his fellow officers were now focused on him. "For all intents and purposes, it's complete…"

"But," Ratchet prompted as his friend trailed off.

Wheeljack nervously chuckled. "I haven't figured out how to get us back to _our_ universe. I've already eliminated three of them, but it'll take me a little more time."

Optimus nodded and stroked the bottom of his battle mask in a thoughtful gesture. "Do you require any help?"

"Nah!" the engineer replied confidently. "I've got this all under control. Nothing's exploded in three solar cycles!"

It was sad to say that was a very impressive accomplishment on the inventor's part. And by the way the officers exchanged knowing glances while the engineer preened with happy flashes of his vocal fins, they knew it wasn't exactly something to be proud of. Any _normal_ mech in Wheeljack's position should have been able to avoid disaster for a much longer amount of time, but there was only one Wheeljack, and despite his "explosive" reputation, the Autobots under Prime's command wouldn't trade the eccentric engineer for any other.

"How long do you estimate this will take?" Prowl asked, cutting Wheeljack's happy dance short.

He thought for a moment before answering. "Maybe two, three more days? I'm not exactly sure. Ya see, I may have been temporarily distracted…"

"I better not have mechs looking for me after losing an arm on that 'roller coaster' of yours," Ratchet said as he placed his hands on his hips and glared at the masked mech. Wheeljack nervously rubbed the back of his helm until Ratchet diverted his attention to a sudden yell and sighed. "I better go check on Red Alert before any permanent damage can be made." He headed in that direction before pausing and glaring back at Wheeljack. "Oh yes, me and you are going to have a nice _chat_ about Swoop's sudden interest in one of Soundwave's Cassettes."

"I swear I was gonna tell you!" Wheeljack instantly defended as he chased after the medic. "Victoria threatened my life if I told!"

Optimus chuckled as Ratchet started on a tirade about why Wheeljack wasn't allowed to keep secrets anymore and turned to his serious SIC. "Relax Prowl. Wheeljack will have the project completed before our limited time has expired."

Prowl shook his head and walked with the commander as they headed back to base. "That is not my only concern. The Decepticons have renewed their interest in Wheeljack's work."

The Prime grimly nodded. "But that is understandable seeing as his device is our only way back to Cybertron."

The strategist didn't look very convinced as he watched the Autobot leader from the corner of his optics. "I am concerned that Megatron does not actually wish to return with us." Optimus slightly slowed his pace, and Prowl stopped to turn and stare at him critically. "I assume you have already thought of this."

Optimus didn't confirm the suspicion nor did he deny it, and neither of them had a chance to say another word as a screech that could only belong to Starscream came from the living room and quickly grew closer as Starscream himself ran out of the living room at full speed. Optimus and Prowl watched in surprise as the Seeker quickly came upon them and roughly shoved them out of the way while yelling, "I've been violated!"

Optimus sighed as he caught Prowl mid-processor freeze, happy that the SIC hadn't witnessed the actual event of Starscream's "violation."

**[~]**

Skywarp was more than happy to witness the beginning his trine mate's potential meltdown. In fact, five minutes before he went running down the hallway in hysterics, Skywarp had been the one who gleefully instigated it. Technically, he had started it the day before with the mistletoe. Ah humans, they were able to invent the most simplistic objects that could be used for such great pranks.

Anyway, Skywarp had been in the living room the first time Starscream had come running in. He immediately abandoned his current plan-making of getting Victoria away from the Autobots and watched as Starscream wedged himself into the tiny space between the TV and the wall. Megatron came stomping in mere seconds later, took a quick cursory glance of the room, and left growling.

Once he was gone, Skywarp hovered down to his brother's hiding spot and peeked in to see the tri-colored jet muttering to himself as he crouched down and tried to fit his wings comfortably in the tiny space. "Hey 'Scre!"

Starscream yelped before hatefully glaring at the grinning jet. _"Skywarp!"_

That was the black and purple jet's only warning before an angry Air Commander pounced on him, trying to get his servos around the younger jet's neck. "This is all your fault!"

Skywarp grunted and fought to get the smaller Seeker off of him. A couple of twists and turns, and he was finally able to shove the SIC away and quickly backed away from the raging Seeker. "Come on Starscream! It was just a joke!"

Starscream's optics glowed as he froze to stare at the mech. "A joke? The curse isn't real?"

Skywarp shrugged. "There is something about being single for a long time, but other than that…no."

The tri-colored Seeker stared long enough for the younger Decepticon to become uncomfortable and back away in anticipation of fleeing from a manic Starscream. Starscream twitched and a creepy grin spread across his face, making Skywarp take another precautionary step back. "A joke? All a joke?" Starscream snapped and flung himself at the jet. "Do you know what I've been through for the last four megacycles?"

As Starscream ranted, raved, and shook Skywarp, the teleportar silently took the treatment, which should have tipped the trine leader off that something was wrong. Unfortunately, Starscream wasn't very good at focusing on others when he went into these types of rages. So it wasn't until he noticed Skywarp grinning that he got suspicious. "What are you grinning about?"

"You need to learn how to take a joke Star," was his only answer as his grin widened.

A giddy feeling flooded the trine bond, making Thundercracker, who was stuck back at base, ping them both with curiosity. Starscream ignored their third brother as he released Skywarp and backed away. "What have you done?"

"Loosen up! You could use a little love."

"Skywarp-"

Starscream cut off with a yelp as a tiny jolt on the very bottom edge of his right wing caused him to tense up. Skywarp started snickering as his Air Commander let out a tiny high pitched sound as the jolt was repeated and started laughing after the third zap when Starscream began to scream. "I have been violated!"

He was still laughing, clutching the middle of his cockpit as his laughter caused him to almost double over, as Starscream ran screaming from the room. Megatron stared at his curved hand with disgust. "That was the most degrading thing I have ever done."

Skywarp sobered and regarded his leader with a certain level of respect. "It had to be done." Megatron snorted and began to walk away but stopped when Skywarp asked, "So…how'd you manage to do it without purging?"

"I was imagining a femme I know of back on Cybertron." The Kreon turned to glare meaningfully at the Seeker. "Tell no one this ever happened."

The jet shrugged and watched his leader stalk out of the room before grinning. _:Hey TC! Wanna see a video I just took?:_

**[~]**

"Okay," Victoria breathed as she climbed into the car with the few bags she carried and immediately cranked up the heat to thaw out her frozen fingers. Bluestreak tumbled out of one of the bags, chewing on the small bit of candy bar that Victoria had purchased at the last store. "Let's see. We've got paint and mini-canvases for Sunstreaker, crayons and markers for Rumble and Frenzy, glitter glue for Sideswipe (which I know I will regret, but it's better than letting him get ahold of the super glue again), a little ball of yarn for Ravage, and a birdhouse that I'll paint back at home for Laserbeak.

"We got a CD of opera for Jazz, Red Alert a cheap little motion detector camera so he feels a little better about not having his monitors, little pillows for the Seekers' Nest that are the same color as they are, a book on dinosaurs for Swoop-"

"And the little plastic toys that resemble the other Dinobots," Bluestreak added with the last mouthful of his chocolate. He looked at the melted candy on his hands and started looking for something to clean it off with.

"Right, mini-dinos to make Swoop feel a little happy," Victoria conceded and continued to tick off the gifts. "Bells to put on Barricade and hopefully stop his creepy stalking habit, a cover for what has officially become Mirage's iPad, and little plant pots to serve as targets for Ironhide. We've already decided to make little coupon books for Ratchet and Prowl to perform certain punishments on the Twins."

Bluestreak giggled at that as Victoria finally handed him a cheap paper napkin. The idea for the coupon booklets had been inspired when both the mech and human hadn't been able to think of an acceptable gift for the two officers. Bluestreak had mentioned that having the pranksters locked up for a certain amount of time would be a good enough gift for both of them. His joke had sparked the idea of creating a little coupon booklet like the one Victoria had made when she was in kindergarten for Mother's Day with each coupon being a certain chore that her mom could choose for her to perform and she would have do it without complaint. Only instead of chores, they decided that the coupons would be certain ways to keep the Twins away from the medic and tactician along with the amount of time, like, and this was suggested by Bluestreak, having them trapped under the laundry basket for a breem.

"I have my dad, stepmom, and little brother's gift," Victoria continued with a little gesture at the three bags she had just added to the few already in the backseat. "That only leaves Wheeljack, Optimus, Soundwave, Megatron, and you."

"Don't forget Bonecrusher," Bluestreak reminded with a frown. "I still don't see why you have to get something for Megatron. I mean, he doesn't even _like_ or respect you. It wouldn't be a bad thing to 'accidentally' forget about him."

"That ruins the whole point of the Christmas spirit," the woman insisted as she mentally recounted the mechs and their gifts. "How could I have forgotten Bonecrusher?"

"Like everyone else would if he didn't show up to try and knock our helms off every once in a while," the sniper answered and surreptitiously peeked into the bag he had rode in to catch a glimpse of the rest of the candy bar that was left. "What about you? Are you getting something for yourself? 'Cause I know you said we didn't have to get you anything, but I feel kinda bad that you're getting everyone else something while you go home empty handed."

Victoria smiled as Bluestreak's babble finally began to resemble that of what it usually did. He had been slowly growing out of the funk he had apparently fallen into the day before and had started helping with gift suggestions about halfway through their shopping trip. It had been a little difficult because they had both had to stay aware of where other people had been in the stores, but they had managed to work around the disadvantage and had only received a few strange stares.

Whatever had upset the little mech had been pushed aside for the moment, and that in itself made Victoria happy.

"Let's see," Bluestreak kept going as he climbed onto the dashboard to look out the windshield. "We've already been in most of the stores on the street, and you didn't find anything in them that you wanted. We've been in that one, and that one, and maybe that one. I don't know but it looks a little familiar…oh yeah! That's the store you took one step into and walked back out because those two guys from earlier were in there. Okay now, which one haven't we been in?" The grey Praxian turned around and looked towards the back before pointing at a store he saw through the back window. "How about that one?"

Victoria followed his finger and examined the storefront. The front window was decorated with a variety of Christmas decorations such as candy canes and a wreath along with pictures that immediately signified what kind of shop it was. The little cartoon puppies with Santa hats were a definite giveaway. "I don't know Blue. That's a pet store."

Instead of seeming discouraged, Bluestreak perked up even more. "Oh cool! Sideswipe says that animals are evil, but all the pets from the movies look really awesome, and I've wanted to see one up close for a while, and besides, Sideswipe shouldn't have shot at that raccoon to begin with or made you angry enough to lock him outside. I wanna see a puppy!"

Victoria couldn't help but laugh at his animated happiness as his eagerness caused him to ramble a little more before she laughingly agreed. "Okay, okay! We'll go browse through the pet store, but that doesn't mean we're getting a pet."

Bluestreak nodded and excitedly jumped into her bag as she shut the car off. After two more quarters had been put into the parking meter, Victoria quickly crossed the street and entered the little pet shop with a jingle from the bells hanging from the door handle. Her little passenger poked his head out of the bag and almost squealed at the little black puppy that immediately ran up to greet them with enthusiastic yips. Victoria couldn't resist a few giggles as she bent down to pet the little animal's head.

After a few pats on the head, the pup ran off to grab a badly chewed toy and started to drag it towards her, tripping a little on its oversized paws. Bluestreak actually squealed this time. "It's so much cuter than I thought it would be!"

Victoria laughed a little at his delight and left the puppy, which had been thoroughly distracted after discovering its tail, to peruse the rest of the shop. All of the animals were set up front, and they took their time examining each one. She had to quietly explain the little differences between a hamster and mouse when Bluestreak had insisted on her stopping to watch both rodents run in place on their wheels and also quietly explained that no, that wasn't a hamster that had been fed to much in the cage next to them but a guinea pig.

He almost jumped out of the bag as they came to the next display. "What are those? Look at how they're fighting each other! It's like how Sunny and Sides fight."

Victoria smiled at the comparison of the Autobot twins to the two ferrets currently chasing each other in their small enclosure. She noticed two more curled up off to the side and pointed them out. "If that's Sunny and Sides then those two must be-"

She stopped as the excitable brown ferret flew over the little play tube and landed on the sleeping albino that was curled up against his black furred companion. The albino animal immediately jumped up and began chasing the two fighters, said fighters running for what seemed like their lives and trying to hide in the little wood chips that coated their small enclosure. The other ferret that had been sleeping just seemed to glare before returning to its previous activity. "Well that's obviously Ratchet and Prowl."

After watching the white furred animal singlehandedly take down the other two ferrets, they continued to the other pets, quickly skipping over the terrariums with no-legged and, in one case, eight-legged critters because of Victoria's unfound fear of them, and ending up at the big cages lined up against the wall. The orange furred cat seemed ready for anyone who wandered close to the kennels and immediately started meowing and rubbing against the bars of the door.

Victoria gave into its pitiful cries and fitted her fingers through the bars to scratch its ears. "You pitiful sounding thing. You make it sound like no one ever pays you any attention." The cat ignored her words and butted its head eagerly against her fingers.

Bluestreak started laughing, and she glanced down to see that he was leaning out of the bag to wiggle his hand above a playful little kitten in the bottom cage. Her cat eventually grew tired of the scratches and retreated back the far end of its temporary home to eat from a small bowl, and she bent down to look at the animal that had captured the mech's attention. A little black kitten tilted its head at her before returning to batting at Bluestreak's hand. "Aw, you are so adorable."

"I hear he's got a little mischievous streak though."

Victoria's surprised shriek set off a cacophony of noise within the little shop, including little barks from a pup, squawks from a cockatoo who sat in a cage near the door, and a just as surprised yell from the person who had snuck up behind her. The little kitten jumped back, hair raised at the sudden sounds, and Bluestreak used the confusion to quickly dive back into the bag. The woman put a hand over her fast beating heart and stood up to acknowledge the person behind her. "You scared the living daylights out of me!"

The brunet looked a little flustered and embarrassed as he worked a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I am _so _sorry. I thought you heard me walk up, and I just, uh," he stuttered before resolutely sticking his hand out. "I'm Drew."

Despite the scare, Victoria couldn't help but smile at the red-faced, clearly embarrassed young man as she returned the handshake. "Victoria. I'm guessing you work here."

"Actually no," he answered, still a little flustered. "I'm volunteering down at the local shelter and was actually just about to start loading these guys up."

"Oh," she said, turning to look again at the three cats on display, the little kitten calling her attention back to it by trying to grab at her bag where Bluestreak was currently hiding.

"Yeah, the shelter likes to bring some animals like the cats and Charlie Bear up here to try to increase their chances of being adopted," Drew continued, bending down to scratch behind the black puppy's, Charlie Bear's, floppy ears. "Christmas seems to be a really popular time to do that."

"You don't sound very sure," Victoria commented as she bent back down to let the kitten play with her finger.

"You caught me," Drew confessed, pushing Charlie away when the curious pup tried to wiggle into the pocket of his jacket. "I'm not from around here. Actually, I'm supposed to be on vacation with some friends, but I tend to get a little antsy when I don't have anything to do. Luckily, my grandparents understand and don't seem to mind whenever I go down to the shelter." Drew looked up after tossing the dog's toy across the store to see her playing with the kitten. "Hey, you wanna hold him."

Victoria looked a little wary before shrugging. "Sure."

Drew bent around to unlock the door on the kitten's cage, and that's when she noticed a little white tail sticking out of the pocket that the puppy had been trying to get into. "Uh, what's in your pocket?"

The brunet hummed in question as he cupped the black cat's tiny bottom in one hand. He handed the animal over before turning his attention to her question. "Oh! That's Vanilla." Out of his pocket came a white kitten just a little smaller than the one she held, and it broadly yawned at her as its bright blue eyes blinked at the sudden change in light. "He's like his mama and likes to tagalong in my pocket."

Victoria couldn't help but giggle as the kitten she held started batting at the fingers she wiggled in front of its face. "You let a cat ride around in your pocket?"

"Well, sure," he said happily, not seeing a problem with the idea. "His sister, Cream, usually tags along, but she's been more interested in hanging around my grandpa lately."

"Vanilla and Cream," she repeated the names together, making Drew smile.

"Their mom's name is Chocolate Chip, or Chip for short. Oh! And they have another brother named Peanut Butter, but he's visiting his other daddy right now."

This had the young woman laughing out loud as the curious kitten she held peered into her bag and started playing with Bluestreak again. "Those are probably the oddest names I've ever heard a person give their cats, let alone a whole little family."

"Hey, you're talking to a guy whose grandparents own a dog named Spoon," Drew said with a laugh. "We're not a very average group of people."

"I'll say," Victoria said with a smile as she looked down to check on Bluestreak, only to find that he was happily distracting the animal that was bigger than he was. "The most creative I ever got with pet names was Blackie."

"What can I say? It's a gift." Drew was grinning more broadly now as he settled his own little kitten on the top of his head and stood up. Vanilla kept his balance with ease, which led Victoria to believe that the little animal had done the balancing act on more than one occasion. "Now, I'd hate to be a little party pooper, but I've gotta get these guys loaded up. The manager is probably still waiting for me out back, and he gets a little impatient when he's left waiting."

Victoria watched as the volunteer coaxed the two other cats into two individual portable carriers with practiced ease and chased Charlie Bear towards the back with the promise of returning for the last kitten. When he had vanished behind the shelves of dog and cat food, she focused back on the domestic animal that had completely crawled into her bag and was purring like crazy as Bluestreak petted it into a content mood.

The Autobot looked up without stopping his current actions. "I like him. He's really playful, and he doesn't tower us like the puppy does. I think you should get him."

The young woman sighed and pulled the kitten on the brink of sleep out of her bag. Bluestreak followed after it and continued to pet it even after she had laid the feline on the floor. "I told you we weren't coming in here to buy an animal."

"But _Victoria_," Bluestreak whined, mimicking Sideswipe when the front-liner wanted something. "It's cute and small, and you obviously like him or you wouldn't have agreed to hold and play with him."

"No," she resisted even as she started scratching the belly of the stretched out cat. "I already have two factions of mechs running around the house. Adding a young kitten is like adding fuel to a fire."

Bluestreak's door-wings fluttered down and his optics dimmed as he leaned in to lay his helm across the feline's abdomen. "But he's cute…" When his cuteness didn't sway her enough, Bluestreak straightened back up and stared her directly in the eye. "Victoria, you really need _someone_ around when we…leave. I know you've got your dad, but he doesn't live close to you, and you don't even seem as close to him as you should be. I just wanna be sure that you're not alone again after we leave even if it means having a little pet. 'Cause I know that no one wants to be alone after losing someone, no matter how brave they try to act, and you're a really special person that _doesn't_ deserve to feel lonely."

Victoria stared at the Praxian who stared up at her with all the seriousness that she had ever seen him exhibit. Bluestreak meant every word he said, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't hit her hard to hear him say it. She hadn't even thought about what would happen when the Autobots and Decepticons left, and now that she took the time to, she realized that he was right. Sure, she had her dad, and she had every intention of fixing their relationship the moment she could, but he lived almost four states away from her and had his own little family to look after now. It would be hard to go from running after the Twins and dealing with the Seekers on a daily basis, to being just as alone as she was before their arrival.

The raven haired woman sighed as she rubbed the heel of her hand over her eye. "I know that, and I would love to take the little guy, but I don't have the money to spend on buying a kitten."

"But he doesn't cost anything."

Victoria jumped up, forgetting the cat and Bluestreak on the floor as she twirled around to face Drew. "Drew! I, uh, didn't hear you…again."

The young man's brown eyes focused on the little figure by her feet, who yelped and ducked behind her legs, before focusing back on her. "Nuisance, the kitten, has already received the vaccinations he needs for his age and the animals we bring to the shop are 'free' in a way. I mean, you still have to pay for food, toys, and other stuff like that, but that's nothing compared to the price of other pet shops."

Victoria blinked in astonishment as the young man in front of her focused solely on her and all but ignored Bluestreak. Did he not see the little _toy_ climbing back into her bag? Of course he did; the sniper had yelped when he lost his footing and fell back onto the floor, making Drew glance down at him before turning to point out where she could find those products and walked over to them. She picked up Nuisance and cautiously followed and only listened with half an ear as he pointed out the best, and cheapest, products.

By the time she had stopped staring at him suspiciously, he had already helped her carry the stuff to the cash register and they were patiently waiting for the store employee to come out of the back to ring her up. Drew was telling her a short tale of how Vanilla, who was walking around the counter without a care, had been briefly named Licorice after rolling around in a pile of coal, when she interrupted him to ask, "Are you not going to ask about the talking toy?"

Drew stared at her with impassive brown eyes before saying, "Look, I've learned over the last five years of being associated with my little group of friends that there are _a lot_ of strange things out there, and recently within the last two years, I've realized that there are some things that just can't be explained and things still left to discover. But if you stop to question just one little thing that is odd, you'll miss the other dozen amazing things that cross your path. I'm not about to pretend I know how you managed to animate a toy, even if I have a rough idea of what might have happened. I already believe—_know—_that there are tons of worlds out there still undiscovered, and you and I are some of the few who are privileged enough to even know they exist."

Victoria blinked as the serious air around the male vanished, and he turned to smile at the yawning employee who finally returned to his post. "Hey Zack! What were you doing back there, discovering Narnia?"

The two men bantered back and forth as her things were scanned and bagged, and Victoria took the short amount of time to really look at the man she had just met today. However, she found no trace of the somber individual who had just spoken to her, and she didn't get a chance to ask him anything else as the door jangled open and a voice yelled, "Drew!"

With a disbelieving expression flitting across her face, Victoria turned around to see Nicholas walking towards them and his companion from earlier following, rubbing his nose and glaring at the man who had just slammed the door in his face. "Hurry up! I'm ready to get back to your grandparents and eat that yummy pie your grandma was baking when we left this morning." He finally noticed Victoria standing beside Drew and did a quick double take. "Holy shit! This is my lucky day! Now I can learn your name and get the oh-so-valuable seven digits."

Drew laughed at her exasperated face. "I take you've already met Nicholas and Aiden."

"Yes," the dark haired male, Aiden, said. "I saved her from getting molested earlier back over in the art shop across the street."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Nicholas said in annoyance while remaining solely focused on her. Drew chuckled as he noticed her little companion peeking out of her bag to glare at his friend. "This is fate working! I never meet the same girl twice in the same day."

"That's because they avoid you like the plague," Aiden said sarcastically before yelping as Nicholas blindly reached behind him to smack the man. "Why are you so abusive towards me? I swear, ever since you went to visit that overgrown plant you've been more violent towards me!"

Nicholas finally turned to face his friend. "Oh please, stop being so freaking jealous. Seriously, just because none of them are interested in seeing you again, doesn't mean you have to get all uppity about them being happy to see us."

"I get uppity because I'm always the punching bag!"

Victoria glanced over at Drew, who smiled and subtly tilted his head towards the door. She took the obvious cue and gave him a small wave as she sidled past the other two males, who were getting louder and louder by the minute, and slipped out the door. She didn't see it, but Drew watched to make sure that she made it to her car and only turned to break up his friends after she had driven off.

"No! I still didn't learn the hot girl's name!"

**[~]**

"Calm down Red. You're a'right."

"It was horrible! They, they…they were being so _nice!"_

Ratchet shot the Twins a piercing glare as they chuckled and turned his attention back to Jazz and Red Alert. Red Alert had been frantic when he finally made it back to base, screaming about the clones that were beginning to replace them as they stayed longer and longer in this dimension. Mirage wasn't around at the time, and since the spy was better at calming Red Alert when he was in this kind of state than Ratchet was, the duty had fallen on Jazz, who quickly jumped in to calmly talk the SD down from his panic. Unfortunately, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had happened to be hanging around the saboteur, so they had stuck around to witness the calming process and weren't being as quiet as Ratchet had ordered them to be.

Jazz's Polyhexian accent seemed to be working beautifully as Red Alert slowly stopped whimpering and what little sanity he had slowly began to return. Ratchet sighed in relief as another crash was avoided and shot Jazz a rare and thankful smile, which was immediately answered.

"Hey, did anyone see Starscream screeching down the hallway?" Sideswipe asked with a snicker as things started to calm down. "He was actually trying to hide behind _Sunshine_ earlier."

Sunstreaker scowled at the name, and Jazz chuckled right along with the red twin, never stopping the soothing circles he was rubbing on the back of Red Alert's chassis. "Apparently da Seeker didn't 'preciate his leader's sudden shift in interest."

A snort came from the shelf above them as Ironhide commented, "By the way he was yellin', it sounded like someone was rippin' 'is spark out."

"Not to change the topic," Ratchet said purposefully as he critically stared at the mechs crowding his current med-bay. "Which one of you knew about Swoop?"

Before the medic could rip into all of them, because they had _all_ known (especially Red Alert because he remembered the particular crash that had brought on), the topic of their conversation came flying into the room. "Vicky back! Vicky back!"

"Would you look at that?" Sideswipe exclaimed as he quickly vacated the shelf to chase after the Dinobot, who had flown back out after his message had been delivered. "I should go greet them. You know, in case something happened and they need help."

Ratchet glared as the Twins vanished before turning the glare onto the unfortunate mechs who had been left behind. "Anything you two would like to say?"

While the CMO was giving the officers the same lecture about keeping secrets as he had with Wheeljack, the front-liners made it to the door just in time for Skywarp to fly down the hallway and arrogantly land in front of them to block their view. "Hey! Get out of the way wingnut!"

Skywarp ignored them and eagerly waited with what the Twins finally realized was a long forgotten sprig of mistletoe. "Shove it groundpounders! I'm getting my kiss today and there's nothing you can do about it."

Insults were being exchanged as Swoop and Laserbeak landed not far from them, the former eagerly awaiting for his friend to walk through the door and immediately launching at her when the door opened. "You back!"

"Whoa!" Victoria exclaimed as she received a Dinobot to the chest. "I'm glad to see you too Swoop, but you don't have to be so eager."

"Me Swoop be bored most of day," he answered and glanced down at where Laserbeak was patiently waiting for him. "What you bring me?"

Victoria laughed as she placed her bag down for Bluestreak to climb out as the curious flier dove into the plastic one she carried. "You act just like a little kid Swoop. And I don't have anything in there for you."

Swoop groaned and climbed back out, pausing to look down as Skywarp yelped. "What that be?"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker immediately fell into defensive positions as Nuisance batted at Skywarp after climbing out of the bag he had ridden in with Bluestreak. The sniper laughed as the kitten swatted the fake plant out of the Seeker's hand, causing him to yell offensively. "This is Vicky's new pet! His name's Nuisance, and I think I understand why now. He can be a little annoying to certain people, but he's really well-behaved for me and Vicky."

Nuisance meowed as Swoop flew down to greet him, trying to catch Laserbeak as she flew over to land on the mech's shoulder. When she proved too fast, he focused back on swatting the little green thing he had stolen from the jet, making Skywarp yell angrily as it was picked up and moved down the hallway as the kitten eagerly began to investigate its new home and its strange occupants.

Was it strange to say that Nuisance lived up to his name? Only he always turned into a little angel whenever Victoria or Bluestreak were concerned, and neither was ever convinced by the tall tales the other mechs told them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Alright! I'm almost positive that a lot of you may be confused right now so allow me to try and explain. For the few of you who may have read my first attempt at Naruto fanfiction, _Adoption 101,_ yes that is Drew, Nicholas and Aiden. For those who haven't read it (and don't take this as an attempt to make you read it because I fully admit it sucks), just know that it involves the whole jumping between different dimension/alternate realities, sort of like in this fic. Taking that into account, I thought it would be neat to include them because 1) I've read authors who have actually done this in their books. Sarah Dessen seems to include little allusions to her previous books with each new one she publishes even though none of the books actually have anything to do with each other, so I decided to experiment with that too. Reason 2) it's nice to know that there might be someone out there who may possibly understands what you're going through. Why go through the hassle of creating another character when I could have just stuck Drew in there to be buddy-buddy with Vicky for a while? # 3) I miss writing Nicholas. He was my favorite of the bunch (despite his potty mouth), but his personality wasn't exactly one that Victoria would enjoy so, voila!, in came Drew and Aiden along for the ride.

Yeah…it might not have been the best idea, but I wanted to do it, so I did! And I know there's at least one of my other story's previous readers out there :)

Also (Jesus Christ, this AN is getting too long!) because of my apparent lack of ability to actually update when I'm supposed to and to help assure any readers who might think I'll skip out on a weekly update, I've extended the updating period. That means if I don't update Saturday, be assured that I _will_ update either Sunday or Monday. If it gets past Tuesday without an update, flood my mailbox with PMs and tell me to get my butt in gear!

That being said, I plan to be back here on Saturday :D

Fun Fact for the Chapter! Nuisance is actually my kitty-cat's name; Spoon (or Spoony Mac as we tended to call her) was the name of my family's lovable lab/bird dog/pit and only God knows what else was mixed in there mutt; and Charlie Bear is the name of the Shih Tzu that hung out in my vet class back in high school XD

**EDITED: 3/25/2014 (Grammar, missing words, etc.)**


	19. Pounces, Paranoia, and a Prank

**AN:** I made the deadline ;P This is a little shorter than the chapters I've been typing lately though, so I would most definitely categorize this as a filler. Just ignore the fact that over half of the story is already filler-ish…Chapter title sucks, by the way…

_"__Thinking."  
>:Com Talk:<em>_**  
><strong>_**~Bond Speech~**

_Vorn: 83 years  
>Orns: 13 days<br>Solar Cycle: 1 day_

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Eighteen

Pounces, Paranoia, and a Prank  
>(Also, Why <em>Not<em> to Brag)

* * *

><p><strong>Day 21<strong>

"What frack is that?"

"A fire hazard waiting to happen."

"But it looks so pretty!"

"Don't be fooled by the sparkling lights!"

Victoria openly rolled her eyes at the three Lambos standing by her feet as she adjusted the miniature Christmas tree she had just finished setting up after moving the table from the hallway into the living room. She and Bluestreak had been lucky enough to come across it in one of the little shops they had wandered into the previous day, and she hadn't been able to pass up such a great deal on the cute little decoration. Besides, when Bluestreak had heard that the tree was an "essential" to the coming holiday, he had all but begged her to get the tiny tree with the little snowman fixed to the top of it.

Speaking of Bluestreak, she should probably start to limit him on how many M&M's® he was picking out of the glass bowl she had taken the risk on placing in the middle of the coffee table. Swoop flying in sporadic circles was nothing on Bluestreak adding hyperactive speed to his already chatty speech.

"Come on Red Alert!" Sideswipe groaned as the SD's winding speech on fire safety came to an end. "Can't you just, for _once_, not be so paranoid? Or afraid of every little thing? You know, maybe you should live by one of the human's philosophies: YOLO."

Victoria felt like face-palming like the characters from the cartoons Swoop and Bluestreak had got her back into the habit of watching every Saturday. Dear Lord, she did _not_ want to know how the red front-liner had come across that acronym because it was one thing she hadn't taught them. And they had had free reign with her computer for the past three days…

"YOLO?" Red Alert questioned with a slight twitch. "What human atrocity are you spewing now?"

Sideswipe snickered at the slightly offended human standing behind the red and white mech before explaining. "YOLO. It means 'you only live once.' The humans use it as an excuse to do just about anything."

Red Alert didn't know whether to be mortified or confused. "Don't you _dare_ think you can use that the next time you rig my monitor chair to shock me every time I sit down."

"No, no, no," Sideswipe said, waving his hands around to cut the SD off and almost smacking Sunstreaker in the process. "You use it for extreme stuff like jumping off the roof or something. But with you, anything outside of your little comfort square is extreme."

"So?"

"Well-"

And that was all Victoria heard as she was distracted by Jazz entering the room, calling her name as he headed towards her. "Yo, Vicky! Ah think ya should get in 'ere. Prowl's-" He stopped when he noticed Bluestreak on the table, organizing the little pieces of chocolate into red and green piles. "What're ya doin', Blue?"

"Organizing-the-chocolate-into-color-coded-piles. I-don't-like-to-eat-them-mixed-together-'cause-it-throws-me-off. I'm-not-exactly-sure-why-but-it-does. Plus-I'm-working-off-some-of-this-sudden-energy-I-have-now!"

Jazz stared at the younger mech with bright, surprised optics. "Dear Primus, we 'ave another Blurr on our hands." Bluestreak brightly smiled at him before going back to separating the Christmas decorated candy. "_Anyways, _as Ah was sayin'. Prowler's 'bout ta discipline your new li'l baby."

"What's Nuisance done now?" Victoria asked, shooting Sunstreaker a look as he attempted to move one of the few ornaments she had hung on the tree and snatching the bowl of M&M's® from the table as she walked out. She heard Bluestreak let out a tiny whine but ignored it as she popped one of the candies into her mouth. He had had enough already and the day was only starting. "Last time you guys complained because he supposedly stalked you guys all last night."

"Hey!" Jazz protested as he led her to the bedroom. "Ah'll 'ave ya know, he was even stalkin' _me_. And Ah don't enjoy bein' da stalked."

"Um hmm," Victoria hummed in sarcastic agreement. She didn't believe them one bit because the little kitten had been curled up by her head every time she had woken up last night. "So what's he doing to Prowl?"

"That," the saboteur said simply, pointing into the bedroom. Victoria followed his finger and tilted her head as she took in the scene before her. Green clashed with dark blue as the two stared each other down, Nuisance with his head tilted and slightly crouch while Prowl's door-wings were tensed upward in a vertical "V". Not far from the duo stood Optimus, his optics brightened with undisguised amusement, and Ironhide, who watched with an equal amount of amusement.

Nuisance made the first move, raising his front right paw and slowly reaching towards the SIC. Prowl countered by quickly swatting the paw and twitching his door kibble with aggravation. "I believe you have already been ordered to stand down."

The kitten ignored him and quickly brought up its second paw, swatting at the door-wings movement. Prowl jumped backwards and stoically glared at the animal. "I will not-"

And Nuisance pounced, propelling his small, yet slightly clumsy, little body onto the monochrome Autobot. The ex-Enforcer was taken by surprise and fell backwards as the kitten took a seat on his front bumper. Ironhide and Jazz began to loudly laugh while Optimus attempted to restrain his chuckles to save what little dignity his SIC had left.

Prowl let out a sound that was a mixture between a growl and groan. "This is no laughing matter! This organic creature obviously has no respect for the chain of command."

Victoria gave into the urge to chuckle as her kitten began to bat at Prowl's wings, which had begun to twitch as his aggravation grew. At the sound of her laughter, Prowl transferred his glare from the young animal to the woman. "Restrain your…_creature."_

"Calm down Prowl," she said with a few more chuckles as she reached down to gently pick the kitten up. Nuisance gave an annoyed meow as he freely wiggled in the air before Victoria carefully angled him into a sort of cradle. "He's only a little baby and doesn't know that he's not supposed to jump high-ranking Autobots."

If Prowl hadn't been, well, _Prowl_, Victoria would have thought the stoic mech let out an annoyed huff before straightening back into his professional stance. "Either way, it needs to be trained to respect those who are above it."

"I don't know," Ironhide commented with a slow drawl as his and Jazz's laughter finally diminished. "Vicky here ranks higher than Prime in the cabin, and since she's claimin' that the animal is now her 'kid,' wouldn't that mean that the kitten actually ranks _higher_ than you, Prowl?"

Jazz snickered as Prowl's door-wings fluttered with stress. "No, because it still remains illogical that a human would proclaim a four-legged creature as her offspring."

"But Nuisance _is_ my baby," Victoria said sweetly, playing along with Ironhide as the red mech chuckled. "It doesn't matter whether he's covered in fur or walks on four legs. All that matters is what's on the _inside."_

Optimus shook his helm as their host and two of his highest ranking officers, his closest companions, got a kick out of the slightly twitching Praxian. He had Victoria and her strange motives for finding new ways to make the SIC crash to thank for the sudden interest everyone had in doing the same. Poor Prowl just didn't stand a chance when they joined forces.

Prowl twitched once more before glaring at all three of his tormentors, though technically Jazz didn't count since all he was doing was just laughing. "I will not be the butt of your _immature_ jokes."

"Baby kitties are born just like humans," Victoria said offhandedly as the mech began to stomp back to base. "As a matter of fact, there are some stories out there about people who are half animal, half human."

Prowl made it halfway to the bookshelf before freezing as what she had said finally caught up to him. Optimus sighed as his officer went down with a heavy clunk. Ratchet, who had been taking a quick stasis nap in his med-bay, jolted back to awareness at the sound of Prowl's crash and glared when he finally realized what had woken him. "What happened _now?"_

"I'll be upstairs if you guys need me," Victoria said quickly as she fled the room with the kitten still in her hand.

Jazz ran after her, yelling over his shoulder, "It was all 'Hide's idea!"

All of the amusement he had found in the situation quickly disappeared as Ironhide was faced with a cranky, sleep deprived medic. Optimus watched in silence as Ratchet let into the Weapons Specialist, a little amused by the fact that Ironhide's actions had had such quick repercussions.

**[~]**

Thundercracker watched his youngest trine mate with a frown as said trine mate fluttered around the utility room talking to himself in low tones and sometimes cackling. It was behavior on the verge of being "Starscream-y" and had the blue Seeker a little worried. Especially when Skywarp pulled out a mesh material from one of the boxes full of miscellaneous items that had sat there since the beginning of their stay and began to emit an "evil laugh."

"Skywarp?" Thundercracker questioned a little hesitantly after landing beside the box that his brother was dangling halfway out of. "I'm afraid to ask this, but what are you doing?"

"Gathering materials for my ingenious plan," Skywarp answered, his pedes kicking the air as he attempted to get out of the box with the makeshift net he had found. "My ingeniously, ingenious plan."

"You said ingenious three times," the older Seeker said offhandedly, watching Skywarp lose what little balance he had and crash to the floor on his behind. "Do you mind explaining this 'ingenious plan' of yours?"

Skywarp ignored his companion as he stood up, patting his now sore aft. He grabbed the material that he had been hunting for and turned to his brother. "Only if you agree to help. You're detrimental to this plan."

Thundercracker stared at the purple and black jet until Skywarp noticed and glared. "What?"

"Since when have you used such big words?"

"It makes me sound smarter!"

More staring between the Decepticon fliers ensued until Thundercracker finally sighed and rubbed the small space between his ruby optics. "_Why_ are you attempting to sound smart?"

"'Cause Victoria is smart and deserves a smart mech," Skywarp said nonchalantly before glaring at the older 'Con. "Wait a minute, are you trying to say that I'm _dumb?"_

"Of course not," Thundercracker tried to placate the touchy jet. "You still haven't explained what you're doing."

Skywarp glared for a minute before turning back to what he had discovered was actually a sleeveless shirt thing. "I am sick and tired of being cut off!"

Oh, the blue Seeker could just feel a processor ache coming on as he reluctantly asked, "Cut off from what?"

"Victoria!" Skywarp yelled angrily, attracting the unwanted attention of Bonecrusher, Soundwave, and Frenzy, the latter two playing one of the simple human board games called Checkers. "_Every single time_ I try to get a kiss, someone or something jumps between us. First it's the two Autobot annoyances, then she's gone all day (which no one even _bothered_ to tell me!), then that thing she brought back stole my mistletoe! It's like everyone has gotten a kiss from her except me!"

Thundercracker avoided looking the ranting Seeker in the eye, not wanting to show the brief flash of guilt he couldn't completely hide. No need to let the ranting Seeker get more upset by knowing that the more mature jet was part of that group along with the Autobots. The guilt was slightly negated by the reminder that it could have been _Ratchet_ instead of Victoria.

Skywarp came to the end of his rant and started ripping the shirt apart to become a better net that he had planned to use. "So, I'm not letting another day go by without my kiss."

"Don't you think this might be a little…desperate?" Thundercracker asked hesitantly. True, he hadn't been as opposed to Skywarp's activities to begin with, but now it was getting a little out of hand. He wasn't exactly enthused by the thought of his brother being so desperate to get a human's affection, especially since his plan involved the small plant that he pulled out of his subspace. Mistletoe had quickly become the bane of his existence, starting with the first time he had happened to wander underneath it. He might have been able to let it go if Skywarp hadn't flaunted it in front of Megatron and caused Starscream to have his little breakdown. He was still hiding under a blanket in the Nest, whimpering about being violated.

And now Skywarp was clinging to the plant like it was a lifeline. Wouldn't it have just been easier to tell Victoria how he felt instead of dancing around it?

Watching how Skywarp enthusiastically talked about how he planned to catch all of the annoying Autobots and Victoria's new pet, the answer was clearly a big fat "no."

"-and when I get into position, I'll need you to go and get her," Skywarp ended with a flourish, ripping the rest of the shirt with a jerk. "So: catch the Autobots, shove the cat aside, and get Victoria alone. Maybe not all in that order, but it has to happen at some point."

Thundercracker shook his helm. Should he really be encouraging Skywarp with this pointless "courting"? He wasn't even sure if he could classify the act as courting with how out-of-proportion Skywarp had made it.

"_But I promised him I'd treat him like full-grown mech,"_ he argued internally as Skywarp all but ignored him with his continued net making. _"And that entails that he learns from the mistakes he makes instead of trying to shield him from failure. Maybe he'll start to realize that a human and a Seeker just don't belong together."_

"So, are you in?" Skywarp finally asked as he realized that Thundercracker hadn't said anything. "I can always get the twins to help for the right amount of cookies."

Frenzy, who had been listening like the good little spy he was, perked up at the mention of yummy, organic goodness and visibly slumped when the Seeker nodded his agreement. "All I'm doing is getting Victoria, right?"

"Yep," the younger mech said happily as he slung his nets over his shoulder. "And maybe helping me set these up."

"You didn't say anything about that," Thundercracker argued while following the other jet out of the room. "I don't want an angry, organic femme coming after me when she finds out that I had a part in catching her new pet."

"She'll never know!"

As their voices faded with distance, Bonecrusher stuck his helm outside of the dryer to say, "I wager three crackers that he fails."

"Four on him getting swatted like a fly!"

"Gambling: discouraged."

"I'll give you a whole _pack_ on him actually succeeding."

The three other Decepticons looked up at where Starscream had finally emerged from his safety blanket with looks of blank disbelief. The Air Commander shrugged. "I know how determined Skywarp can be, and believe it or not, he actually accomplishes a good bit when he sets his mind to it."

The suspicious Decepticons glanced at each other before nodding, and the deals were set. Now to just lay back and watch the scene unfold.

**[~]**

Red Alert shook his head as he left the living room and the Twins behind and started walking back towards base. Sideswipe didn't know what he was talking about! The security mech _did _live his life to the fullest! Just because he didn't constantly risk his life with moronic stunts like the two front-liners didn't mean he was stuffy or anything.

And he was going to prove it too! One whole day, Sideswipe had said. One whole day of being reckless. It was going to be easy; Red Alert remembered what it was like before his glitch began to malfunction. It was just a simple maneuver of reenacting those days…

Red Alert froze as the feeling of someone watching him washed over him. It was a very distinct feeling that he had developed over vorns of working his career. The feeling of someone's optics zoning in on a specific part of your body, feeling like they were burning little holes into you. He should get back to base immediately…

Red Alert shook his head in defiance and began to walk again at his usual pace, though it was admittedly a little strained. No, he was going to prove that Sideswipe was wrong! He didn't flip out at every little thing. He would recklessly ignore the warning signs, recklessly continue as if nothing was happening, recklessly pretend that nothing was following him, staring him down as if he was the perfect prey, plotting his takedown and striking—

"Frag the human saying! I only live once, and I'm making sure it's a long life!"

With that, Red Alert frantically dashed down the hallway, skidding around the corner of the door frame and almost knocking Ironhide over as the older mech was trying to leave. Ironhide was the unfortunate Autobot that the SD clung to as he babbled about being stalked and escaping by nearly a fraction of his life. The red mech sighed and maneuvered the panicking officer over to Ratchet's med-bay, absently speaking in low tones to calm the mech down a little.

Meanwhile, Nuisance poked his head out from under the rug he had hidden under while stalking one of the strange little robots that lived in the house. Oh well! That one wasn't very fun to play with anyway. Maybe the little robot that had accompanied his new human mama was free. He liked to play with that one.

**[~]**

Wheeljack stared at Bluestreak with indecipherable optics. The younger mech stared back with a bright grin as he absently hopped in place. The engineer finally sighed and set aside the small strip of metal he had been working with. "I knew I should've packed the 'Blurr-to-Autobot' translator."

Bluestreak frowned, though his optics still remained the bright, excited periwinkle they had been upon entering the shed. "Come-on-Wheeljack! It's-not-that-bad."

"Not bad," Wheeljack replied once he had played back what the mech had said at a slower speed. "I have absolutely no clue what you just said! At least with Blurr we already know ahead of time to be prepared to pick out the words."

The sharpshooter groaned and shuffled from one pede to the other. "Vicky-said-I-shouldn't-eat-that-much-candy-but-I-thought-it'd-just-be-like-the-cookies! These-had-a-lot-more-sugar-in-them-and-I-have-no-idea-how-long-the-sideeffects-will-last. I-guess-it's-a-good-thing-that-Ratchet-already-restricts-Swoop's-diet. Can-you-imagine-him-flying-around-like-he-was-doing-when-we-first-came-here?"

Wheeljack stared before slowly answering, "Whatever made you this way, don't do it again. Seriously, Blurr is more than enough for all of the Autobots to handle." Bluestreak's happy demeanor finally fell as he glared. "Other than that, I don't really have the time to do…whatever it was you wanted. I have to make up to Ratchet for keeping Swoop's involvement with Laserbeak a secret."

Bluestreak shrugged and hopped up onto one of the piles of junk that surrounded Wheeljack's little space. "That's-cool. I'll-just-stay-out-of-your-way-and-wait."

"Uh," the engineer stuttered nervously. "I'm not exactly sure you'll wanna stay…"

"No-I'll-just-stay-here. It's-better-than-walking-back-through-the-snow."

Wheeljack didn't seem very pleased but shrugged and went back to what he was doing before Bluestreak had walked in. The sniper watched the engineer weld two small specially made beams together to finally complete the first miniature roller coaster's track. Now all that appeared left was making the little cart that would go with it. "So…what're-you-having-to-do-for-Ratchet?"

Silence filled the shed as Wheeljack figured out what had just been asked before his head fins suddenly lit up a bright pink. "Uh…well…after his rant yesterday, Ratchet informed me that the Dinobots were basically my kids." Bluestreak released an encouraging hum when Wheeljack paused. The mech rubbed the back of his helm as he attempted to finish. "And…well, Swoop's the only one who's ever had an actual interest in another mech or femme outside of his brothers."

"So?"

"Ratchet's very adamant that Swoop is told the basics of…stuff."

Bluestreak tilted his head in confusion as the engineer lit up even brighter. It finally dawned on him what the older Autobot was attempting to say, and he couldn't help the giggles that escaped. "Ratchet- Ratchet wants you to teach Swoop about _that?"_

"Oh, so you can finally speak right now?" Wheeljack said a little put out that the younger sniper was enjoying this. As Bluestreak just continued to giggle, the engineer shook his head and turned back to the amusement park ride. "Unbelievable. I thought you'd at least have a little pity for this old mech."

The giggles finally came to an end as the Praxian continued to smile. "I've gotta see this! I thought seeing Prowl attempting the Talk was hilarious, but I can only imagine how you'll fare."

"How'd Prowl do it?" Wheeljack asked curiously, shooting a glance at the door. Swoop was scheduled to arrive at any moment.

"He stuttered a lot, then got really technical, and finally crashed after I told him that Jazz had already beaten him to the punch."

"Well I can't do any worse."

The first thing Swoop asked upon entering was why Bluestreak's intakes were struggling for air as the sniper uncontrollably giggled.

**[~]**

"So, humans use dis system ta get stuff ta each other?"

"Yes," Victoria answered as she finished taping the brown box shut. Jazz stood on the desk next to it and was examining it from all angles. "Doesn't Cybertron have a mailing system?"

"Not really," Jazz answered as he watched her grab a white piece of paper and red marker. "Most o' da stuff ya needed ta send was electronic or ya delivered it personally. With da way da system worked, ya neva' really knew anybot outside o' da city ya lived in."

Victoria finished writing her dad's address on the paper and started taping it to the top of the box. "So, did you live in the same city as Optimus or Prowl?"

"Ah moved ta Iacon a few orns after gettin' my adult frame," Jazz answered with a little pride. "Not many are able ta move from city ta city without a lot o' paperwork. Fortunate for me, my papers got mysteriously pushed ta top o' da pile."

"'Mysteriously' my butt," the woman muttered under breath as she quickly looked the package over once more. "I know how you like to sneak around."

Jazz's visor brightened as he grinned and continued. "Either way, Ah got ta Iacon pretty quick and met Optimus a few cycles after movin', only he was called Orion Pax then, an' he worked in da Iacon Hall o' Records. 'Cause o' da castes we were put in, we encountered each other on nearly a daily basis, an' it was just inevitable that we become friends."

"Why did he change his name?" Victoria asked curiously, pushing the box aside and focusing on the Special Ops mech.

"Well, ya see, 'Prime' is one o' da highest titles in Cybertronian society. The Council named Optimus da next Prime a little before da war really got started, hence da name change." Jazz shook his head as he thought about the past. "As Orion, Optimus wasn't da most confident mech out dere. Even after bein' revealed that he was a Prime, he struggled a li'l bit. But he stands up fo' what he believes in, an' dat's what makes him a great leader. He didn't do that wishy-washy stuff da council did, an' he didn't go 'round makin' any backdoor deals. He says what he means, an' means what he says. Ya don't come across a mech like 'im everyday."

Victoria absently played with the marker she had been using as she said, "Eric used to gush about how great of a leader Optimus was and how much he loved him. Even if Optimus was just a cartoon."

"He's a great mech," the saboteur confirmed with a firm nod. "Ah'm honored ta work under 'im."

The woman tossed the marker aside and picked up the box, gaining a hitchhiker as Jazz jumped on the box at the last minute. "Well, I need to get this to the post office before it closes for the day. There's no way it'll make it to dad before the holiday, but it's worth a shot."

"Can Ah come?" Jazz asked as they walked out of the study and down to the first floor. "It's gettin' kinda stuffy 'ere."

"Sure," Victoria immediately agreed, stopping as Thundercracker flew up on them. He transformed from jet to mech and hovered in front of them. "What do you need, Thundercracker?"

The Seeker gave an uncharacteristic shrug. "Nothing really. Skywarp's just making me wonder how he's managed to make it through life without dying."

Victoria shook her head as the jet descended beside Jazz and continued to speak as they walked. "That little creature you brought yesterday, does it by chance _eat_ Cybertronians?"

"I doubt he'd be very interested in your taste," she answered him with a small laugh.

He frowned as they entered the bedroom where Ratchet was trying to pry Red Alert off of Ironhide. "Then why is it intent on stalking us?"

Victoria sighed as the box was placed on the bed, and she briefly searched for Optimus or Prowl to inform them of the short trip she was about to take with Jazz. "Little kittens are very curious and like to pounce on things because cats are natural predators. His 'stalking' is his way of both playing and practicing for when he gets older."

"He's knocked Skywarp out of the sky three times today," Thundercracker stated as he leaped off the box to hover near her. It was a little tense for a Decepticon to be within such close proximity of the Autobot base, and Jazz's constant stare wasn't helping. "But if he's playing, then why is he hiding so much?"

Victoria shrugged. "Cats just do that. It's how they sneak up on their prey."

"We're prey now?" the jet muttered, causing Jazz to break his stare and chuckle. He cut off Victoria's response with a wave of his hand. "I know, I know: 'he's just playing.' What are the odds of actually catching this cat though?"

The woman critically stared at the jet. "Why do you need to know that?"

"Curiosity," Thundercracker answered just as cryptically and stared her down. The stare off ended as the saboteur below them made a funny noise, and the Seeker sighed. "Just forget it. Let's just say that Skywarp is trying to 'play' with it and it's not going so well."

Victoria watched the jet fly from the room and turned to Jazz, who smiled up at her from where he still sat on the box. "I better not find out that you guys are trying to trap my cat."

"Ah like him," Jazz defended as he watched her walk to the bookcase and bend down to inform the senior officers of where she was going, seeing as Optimus wasn't around like they had thought he would be and Prowl was still out. "Da stalking's annoyin', but he's got character. Skywarp's gonna 'ave a hard time 'playin'' with 'im."

**[~]**

Ironhide vented in relief as he finally escaped the room. It was only a few breems after Victoria and Jazz had left, but Ratchet had finally managed to pry Red Alert off of him. Speaking of the paranoid mech, he had immediately attached himself to Mirage when the former aristocrat had ventured down from the second shelf to see what the fuss was about.

The gruff Weapons Specialist just didn't get why the twitchy officer was getting so upset. Sure, it had been a little intense during the first night. After all, they hadn't really understood what was prowling around the dark house with them. But with the new day came more understanding, especially after witnessing the kitten interact with Prowl earlier. It had been obvious to Optimus and Ironhide that the kitten was trying to catch the Praxian's strange door-wings because of the way they moved. Victoria had demonstrated how it liked to chase things with the length of yarn she had found the day before.

As a matter of fact, Nuisance was like an organic Ravage! Albeit a little bigger and a lot younger but definitely an organic-Ravage. They even had the same coloring for Primus' sake! The only difference was that the Decepticon feline wouldn't hesitate to claw their sparks out while all Nuisance cared for was catching them.

And Prowl hadn't been exactly right when he said the cat didn't respect the Autobot chain of command. It didn't attack Optimus, not once. In fact, if Ironhide remembered correctly, the one time Optimus had come across the cat the night before, Nuisance had made a show of rubbing against the commander in an attempt to get Optimus to pet him. Afterwards he had pounced on Wheeljack, but that was another thing entirely.

Now that he was thinking about the little critter, where had that kitten gone off to?

Normally, Ironhide appreciated a quick and precise answer. He could make an exception this time since he _didn't_ appreciate being tackled from behind and sat on. He huffed as he hit the floor face first and began to struggle to get the new weight of his back. "Fraggin' creature, and here I was startin' to actually _like_ you."

The only response he received was a loud and unrestrained purr as Nuisance kneaded his tiny paws into the mech's back. "Get off me!"

Ironhide offlined his optics for a moment as a tough and scratchy material was swiped across the back of his helm. He didn't even have time to voice his confusion as the action was repeated twice more, and the animal finally stepped off his back. "'Bout time. Now listen 'ere-"

He turned to face his attacker and received a quick lick to the face, to which he jumped back in surprise. "What the-"

"Animal form of affection."

Ironhide tensed, not from the next "kitty kiss" he received, but because of the fact that Soundwave had managed to sneak up on him so easily. Sometimes it was easy to forget that the Cassettes' stealth was taught by someone else. Nuisance stopped with his affectionate kisses and moved towards the cassette player with the intent of jumping on him just like the other mechs. The kitten jumped back behind Ironhide as Ravage suddenly ejected from the Communication Officer's chest, landing gracefully and already growling at the other animal.

Soundwave bent down to affectionately pat the Cassette spy on the helm and nodded to the Autobot as the two Decepticons walked carefully past them. Ravage gave a final growl at Nuisance, causing the kitten to huddle up behind Ironhide as much as it could, before chasing after his master.

Ironhide huffed and scratched the slightly shaking kitten behind the ear. "Guess that means you're officially an Autobot."

He merely sighed as the kitten continued to lavish him with more loving attention than it had before.

**[~]**

If asked, Ratchet would admit that there were times when he wished he could throw his servos in the air and just quit. He would never do that, of course, but after so many times of treating 'bots for the _same ailments_ there came a point where it did get overwhelmingly tiring. For example, Prowl's somewhat consistent crashes or Red Alert's overwhelming bouts of paranoia. The Twins were up there too, with their play fights and pranks that always ended with one of them inevitably paying him a visit.

He was sure it didn't help that he had a pretty cranky disposition to begin with.

But there were sometimes that Ratchet just _loved_ his reputation, especially when he was fighting not to smile as Wheeljack glared at him when the engineer and Swoop entered the bedroom some time later that day.

Wheeljack stomped up to the bookshelf, his normally carefree temperament being replaced with the harsh glare he was sending the medic. Ratchet tried to keep the smile off of his face as he asked, "Done already?"

The glare darkened a bit as Wheeljack answered, "As a matter of fact, I think we were done before it even started."

"Really?" Ratchet asked with a carefully curious tone. "How so?"

"There isn't really a reason to explain the same thing _twice,"_ the engineer answered, putting his servos on his hips. "I was all prepared to teach Swoop a very valuable lesson, and halfway through it he suddenly tells me he's already been given the Talk. By _you!"_

Ratchet finally started to laugh as Wheeljack's fins lit up an angry blue, and Swoop shuffled a bit. "I never said I hadn't. I _did_ say that the Dinobots were your responsibility, and as their creator, _you_ were the one who had to take on that daunting task." He shrugged. "Besides, Swoop only came to me with questions, which I intelligently answered for him. I'm thinking about moving him on to that stage in his medical training soon, so a short refresher wouldn't hurt him."

A growl escaped Wheeljack's vocalizer as he shoved a finger in the med-bot's direction. "This isn't funny Ratchet! I could have spent that time on the Dimension Bridge instead of boring Swoop and Bluestreak."

Ratchet perked up at the second name. "Oh, so Bluestreak got a third version of the Talk? I can only imagine which one he'll take to spark and use to teach his future creations."

Wheeljack stuttered as Swoop nodded. "Him Bluestreak was laughing before even start. Me Swoop no really understand him Wheeljack until halfway through. But no worries, Laserbeak no want to do that, especially without him Soundwave's blessing." Swoop shuddered. "Me Swoop not really willing to ask…"

Ratchet smiled at how his devious little plan had turned out. Maybe that'll teach the engineer not to keep such an important piece of information a secret from him. "So it wasn't even really _required."_

Wheeljack glared at his old friend, though internally he wasn't as upset as he watched the medic freely laugh. Ratchet wasn't often given the chance to slow down long enough to even pull a prank like this, despite how simple it was. The medic just had other things that required his complete attention. He would forgive his friend for the awkward talk he had attempted to give Swoop just this once.

"You still have to give it to the other Dinobots though."

Not those though. Ratchet would be properly retaliated against once they got back to Cybertron.

**[~]**

Skywarp felt so giddy as he walked underneath the two front-liners struggling within the orange mesh shirt. Well, this was just working out perfectly! To think that he had been initially upset to find out that Victoria had left _again._ But it had worked out perfectly since the Autobots had been acting fairly stubborn, snapping his previous nets and escaping. Of course, they had eventually met their match, and their angry insults couldn't faze him at all as he got the net down from where it hung and dragged their pitiful forms to where he planned to dump them for the remainder of the day.

"-cluster-fragged, glitching, turkey aft," Sunstreaker winded down as his long string of insults came to an end.

Sideswipe, who was equally angry, couldn't help but laugh at the last slur. "Turkey aft?"

"Shut up! I was running out of names."

Skywarp slightly jiggled the net, swinging them from side to side and hitting the wall at one point. "Quiet down back there! Accept defeat Autobums 'cause you're not getting out of there any time soon."

Sideswipe sighed and went back to tugging at the mesh. "What is wrong with you? You can't just capture us for no apparent reason!"

"Says who?"

"Me!"

Sunstreaker shook his head and started tugging on the small gap his brother had managed to create. Skywarp jerked them, throwing them off balance and losing the gap they had created as the net shifted. "You've interfered with my plans far too many times. Now, I'm just ensuring it doesn't happen again."

"What plans?" the red captive cried as he wiggled around in an attempt to find the hole he had worked so hard on. Sunstreaker growled as his brother managed to wiggle on top of him.

"My plans of winning Victoria!" the Seeker shouted at them, ignoring their surprise as he went on a rant. "You two are always there to foil my attempts of gaining Victoria's attention. It's already been hard enough since the incident after coming back from her real home, but you two have just been getting in my way more and more often, and I've finally had it! That babbling Autobot doesn't stand a chance against me even with your help, and-" Skywarp stopped ranting as he slowly came to a stop. "…why isn't the net as heavy anymore?"

Skywarp turned and jumped back as the two front-liners glared at him from a short distance away. The only thing possibly keeping them from attacking was the shorter mech that they flanked on either side and was currently staring at the jet through a thoughtful visor.

The Twins tensed as Skywarp aimed his weapons their way, but Jazz just crossed his arms in a thoughtful gesture. "You're seriously desperate to get Victoria's attention."

Skywarp looked offended at the "desperate" part, but his scowl didn't seem to deter the Autobot as he continued. "Funny how Vicky's got two mechs crushin' on her and doesn't even realize it. Then again, she might just be ignorin' it—hard ta tell with 'er sometimes. Ah gotta question though: what're ya goin' ta do when we go back ta Cybertron?"

During Jazz's speech, Skywarp had slowly lowered his weapons and was watching the Autobot TIC with a serious expression. Once Jazz had closed his mouth, the jet shrugged. "I'll find a way to take her back to Cybertron."

Jazz was already shaking his head before Skywarp had even finished. "Vicky _can't_ go back with us. Cybertron aint a place for a human ta be hangin' 'round right now with all da fighin' an' death. Besides, she's got 'er own family 'ere that she's tryin' ta fix. Do ya think she'd 'preciate bein' taken back ta an alien planet, away from da rest o' her kind and caught between warrin' factions? Because I assure you, if Victoria gets taken back to Cybertron, the Autobots won't let her fall into Decepticon hands."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker traded a brief glance over the top of Jazz's head. The saboteur only lost his accent when he was speaking of a serious subject. Skywarp didn't know of the significance behind the accent drop, but he did get an eerie vibe as the normally grinning mech frowned at him. "You can't do that! What if she wants to come with me?"

"I doubt she'd wanna be anywhere _near_ Megatron," Jazz said with a snort-like noise. "'Sides, what Ah said 'bout her family is true. She aint leavin' her sire behind, especially after he just lost one youngling."

Skywarp frowned as the Autobots stared him down. "I'll find a way for it to work..."

Jazz finally shrugged and turned away from the jet. "If you say so. Just though Ah'd let ya know da obstacles 'fore gettin' serious."

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker watched Jazz walk away, the former of the two with a look of shock on his face. "Wait a minute, you're just gonna let Skywarp, _a Decepticon,_ try to take our human?"

"'Our human'?" Jazz asked over his shoulder with obvious humor tinting his voice. "When did you two get so possessive?"

"She's our squishy," Sideswipe defended as Sunstreaker just shook his head in quiet denial. "We found her first!"

The TIC's only response was an amused laugh as he disappeared into the bedroom. Skywarp glared at the Autobot Twins' audacity at attempting to claim _his_ Victoria, but they ignored him as they grumbled to each other. It was then that Skywarp realized they had escaped, therefore posed a threat to his plans, and logically needed to be re-contained. He looked down at the orange shirt he still held in his hands.

Sunstreaker cursed as he and his brother were once again trapped within the net. "You pit-fraggin', son-of-a turbofox!"

Skywarp just grinned and opened his mouth retort when he was interrupted. "What is going on here?"

The three mechs froze and turned their attention to the human that had apparently appeared out of thin air and was looking down at them in curiosity. Swoop and Laserbeak were comfortably seated on the shoulder that was normally only occupied by the Dinobot, and Thundercracker hovered right above her unoccupied shoulder. It was the Seeker that Skywarp turned his attention to. **~TC! What are you doing?~**

Thundercracker frowned at the panicked emotion that momentarily fluttered across the bond. **~I'm doing exactly like you asked!~**

**~You came to early!~**

**~Well, excuse me for finding her too quickly! I thought you would appreciate the speed.~**

Skywarp groaned as Victoria bent down to free his Autobot captives. They immediately jumped onto her feet, Sunstreaker simply finding a comfy place to sit while Sideswipe reached up as if he was about to climb up her leg. "Vicky! The Decepticons are trying to steal you from us!" The woman gave him a look, which prompted him to quickly change his word choice. "I mean, Skywarp's trying to control you!"

"I am not!" Skywarp protested as her attention was turned to him. "I'm just…playing?"

Swoop shook his head, and Laserbeak let out a brief, trilling laugh. Victoria sighed and ran a hand through her short hair. "The faster you tell me the truth, the faster we can continue with our lives."

"Skywarp has been trying to trap us in those nets all day," Sunstreaker said without further prompting. It was best to just get it over with before the situation was thrown out of even more proportion thanks to his brother. "Just normal Autobot and Decepticon behavior."

Sideswipe frowned at his brother, who returned the frown, and glanced back up at Victoria. "But he really is trying to take you away…"

Thundercracker watched the Twins briefly exchange a series of slaps and noticed how Skywarp was viciously glaring at them. His brother had been working hard all day, just to have his hard work ruined once again by the Autobot warriors. Even though he didn't necessarily support it, he had to admit that it wasn't often that Skywarp was motivated enough to go to such lengths. With a sigh, he turned to Victoria and said, "Skywarp has been trying to gain your affection since you introduced those kissing plants two solar cycles ago. Unfortunately, every time he gets close to succeeding, something intervenes, and those two happen to be the most common culprits."

He didn't look down, but Thundercracker could _feel_ his trine mate's glare as he watched Victoria blink in obvious surprise. "Is that true Skywarp?"

Skywarp glared at Thundercracker, who completely ignored him, before reluctantly nodding. "Yeah."

Sunstreaker grunted as Victoria knocked him and his brother off of her feet so that she could crouch down to their height. "Why didn't you just say something? If I had known you felt left out after the whole mistletoe thing, I would have gladly fixed that."

Skywarp perked up at that. Pity wasn't exactly what he wanted, but hey, it got him what he _did_ want, and he wasn't about to pass it up. And when she wasn't looking, Skywarp couldn't resist smirking down at the Autobots, who glared back with restrained hate/annoyance. That's what they got for constantly standing in his way! He was so close to his first organic kiss…

"Stop this beast!"

"Lord Megatron: Do not panic."

"Megatron is being consumed by the organic pet! I, Starscream, am now leader of the Decepticons. Bow down to me minions!"

Skywarp felt like repeatedly hitting his helm against the wall. He knew he had forgotten something, and that something was now running down the hallway with Megatron dangling out its mouth as it avoided the other Decepticons that chased after it in an attempt to save their leader. Of course, Victoria had to chase down her pet.

Slaggit, he was never going to brag about something again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Yay, chapter done! All of the stuff that Jazz said about Optimus (most of it anyway) is from _Exodus, _or at least the wiki page that details it.

Nothing else to say :( So, I'm gonna go watch this funny dude's game commentary on YouTube :D

See ya next Saturday :)

**EDITED: 3/25/2014 (Grammar, spelling, missing words, etc.)**


	20. Human Relations

_"Thinking"  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

_Solar Cycle: 1 day  
>Nano-klik: ~1 second<br>Deca-cycle: ~3 weeks  
>Joor: ~1 hour<em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Nineteen

Human Relations

* * *

><p><strong>Day 22—Christmas Eve<strong>

Victoria coughed as she covered her mouth and nose in an attempt to keep the smoke out of her lungs while using an oven mitt to bat it towards the open window. "Oh Wheeljack; you were doing so well with no fires!"

"I was, wasn't I?" the engineer bragged, ignoring the slightly blackened armor that had replaced his recently shined outer covering. "Almost _five_ solar cycles! Definitely a record worth documenting."

"And then you decided to make toast," the woman said with a sigh. She poked the toaster with the mitt she had been using, not wanting to take the chance of it burning her hand or it just exploding in general. Victoria frowned at what she found. "Wheeljack, why can I see the inside of this toaster?"

"I thought you'd appreciate having your toast 3.692 nano-klicks faster," he answered with a shrug, not finding anything wrong with the fact that he had tampered with the appliance. "It probably wasn't the best idea to adjust the mechanism while the bread was inside…"

Victoria voiced a grunt as she slowly nudged the machine and its burnt bread into the sink for safe keeping. "I thought we talked about not messing with the kitchen appliances."

"You mean that restriction was supposed to last our _entire_ stay!" Wheeljack exclaimed with surprise. "I thought it was only for a few days." He looked at the black substance that had fallen out of the toaster and crumbled into a crispy pile in the sink. "Whoops."

The human let out another sigh as she toyed with the headband she had chosen to wear that day in order to keep her hair out of her face. So much for actually getting back to the reason she was at the cabin; she was starting to get so far behind her original schedule. "You haven't messed with anything inside since moving out to the shed. Is everything alright out there?"

"Peachy!" Wheeljack answered happily. "Bluestreak's just doing a minor project right now, and I decided that some of the guys inside might have missed me."

Victoria hummed as she watched the mech casually walk along the counter. "I didn't miss the accidents."

"Neither did Ratchet," he answered merrily, nothing seeming to be able to break his cheerful mood. "Speaking of the cranky 'bot, have you seen him today yet? I sorta don't wanna get a wrench to the helm this early in the morning."

"I have no idea where he is now," the human answered as she struggled to lower the kitchen window now that the smoke had cleared. It wouldn't budge, and it was starting to get cold. "But he was after the Twins the last time I saw him."

"That means his anger will be vented by the time I come across him!"

Victoria snorted in an attempt to keep her laughter from escaping and miserably failed as a few giggles managed to escape. "You know the angrier he is, the more he cares. Even I've figured that out."

"Then he cares _way_ too much about the Twins. Maybe we should have a spark to spark sometime soon before he makes a grievous mistake." Wheeljack ignored Victoria's incredulous expression as he balanced on the edge of the sink to get closer to the stuck window. "Maybe you should smack it. That works a lot for some of my inven– I mean, I _hear_ it works very well…most of the time."

"My faith in your abilities just increased tenfold," the woman replied sarcastically but took his advice and used the palm of her hand to hit the frame of the window. After a few hits, the window finally gave and almost trapped Wheeljack underneath as it quickly slid down. Problem solved, Victoria turned back to the engineer, who was climbing out of the sink after falling in when he was diving for safety. "So, Ratchet is, uh, a little…interested in the Twins?"

Wheeljack's optics winked at her hesitant and awkward question before laughing. "Those three? Did you consume something funny last night? _Of course they're not!_ Ratchet would have probably keeled over from spark failure if he had heard what you just suggested."

The adult frowned, which looked more like a pout and made the engineer snicker a little more, before saying, "Well excuse me for not knowing how Transformers have…relationships! And _you're_ the one who implied that, not me."

"You're always running from Ratchet when he tries to explain that stuff," the mech argued as Victoria moved around the kitchen to clean up the almost non-existent mess on the counter. "I don't think it's that different from humans if you want me to-"

"No!" Wheeljack jerked back at the sudden yell, and Victoria tried to control the blush that was rising. "I _really_ don't need to know how alien robots have sex."

"It's really fascinating when you compare interfacing with human copulation. Like-"

"Wheeljack, you're just doing this to embarrass me!"

"There are just so many different positions!" Wheeljack's fins lit up brightly as Victoria stumbled while walking towards the trashcan to dump the paper towels she had been using. "This is a lot more fun than explaining this subject to Swoop. Maybe I should give _you_ the Talk."

"Wheeljack, I do not want, nor ever _will want, _to know what you guys do behind closed door." Victoria shot the gleeful mech a glare. "Ratchet's explained how robot babies are made, and it's a lot less troublesome than human babies."

"Well…you know there are other more enjoyable ways to make a new spark…"

Victoria threw her hands into the air, leaving Wheeljack behind on the counter as she walked out of the room. "I'm done with you pervy scientist! No more talking to you for the rest of the day."

"But I haven't even gotten to the good part!" he gleefully yelled after her. "Don't talk to Jazz about this. He won't leave you alone until he's completely explained _every_ aspect of Cybertronian intercourse."

"I'm not listening," Victoria chanted, placing her hands over her ears as she speed walked towards her bedroom to get ready for the day. "I'm not listening at all. No robo-sex lesson for me. Nu uh. It's hard enough to listen about sex in general; I don't need robots to- Jazz! What are you doing?"

"She'd totally enjoy a visit!" Jazz spoke into her cellphone, ignoring the panicked woman dashing across the room to where he stood on the nightstand. "Just come anytime! Maybe 'round lunch; Vicky likes ta make this thing that involves bread an' some kinda flat, weird smellin' stuff, but it must be tasty 'cause she eats it all da time. Ah'm sure she'd be willin' ta make ya one too if ya want."

Jazz made a slight sound of protest as he was snatched away from the phone. "What are you doing, you crazy little mech?"

The saboteur smiled despite Victoria's angrily hissed question. "Settin' up a play date. Ya gotta socialize more!"

"So you thought you could call…whoever that is?" Victoria hissed before glancing over at the bookshelf where both Mirage and Prowl were openly staring their way. "And you let him?"

Mirage turned his helm to examine Prowl's reaction, which border lined uncaring and slightly thoughtful, and turned back to speak. "Jazz has a point. My understanding is that humans are meant to be very social creatures. During the length of our stay, you have only left the cabin when necessary and have spent the rest of the time wandering around the house with very little outside interactions. I did not think it would be so distressing to have a little company."

"That's because I have tiny Transformers running around the place to look after!" Victoria protested as she turned her attention back to Jazz. She blinked at the realization that the mech was no longer in her hand and twisted around to see he had somehow managed to climb back up the nightstand and was currently giving her address to the person on the other side of the phone. "Jazz!"

"'Kay, see ya then, bye!" he said quickly before ending the call and grinning up at Victoria. "So, whatcha gonna wear fo' ya date?"

Victoria groaned and wearily covered her eyes as she fell backwards onto the bed. "First Wheeljack and his sudden perverted sense of humor and now you with your sudden need to socialize me. When are you guys going home?"

"Not 'fore ya date," Jazz said gleefully, hopping from the nightstand and onto her stomach. He traveled up to her face and picked up her pinkie to peek under her hands. "Now let's get you prettified! No ugly sweaters or ya might run da guy off."

The only response he got was the human grabbing a nearby pillow and screaming into it.

**[~]**

"Maybe I didn't want anyone to visit while I was here."

"Ya welcomed ya mech creator just fine."

"Maybe I had other things to do, like clean up."

"Ah'm sure da fellow will be happy ta help."

"Maybe I just don't like people!"

"Well aren't you gettin' touchy. Even Prowler's less prickly than you are right now."

Swoop canted his helm to the side as his human friend growled at the smiling saboteur and went back to tossing the ingredients for her habitual, yummy sandwich back where they belong. Jazz was completely unfazed by the anger and had a jaunty bounce in his step as he followed her along the counter until he reached the spot where the medic-in-training was sitting. "Me Swoop confused. Why you Victoria no like people?"

Victoria sighed, her anger being pushed aside as she turned to the Dinobot. "It isn't that I don't like people. It's the fact that _Mr. I-Can't-Mind-My-Own-Business _took it upon himself to stick his nose into my personal affairs."

Jazz just smiled at the new nickname. "Ya need more human interactions. Ya know, Wheeljack mentioned da conversation ya had earlier-"

"Oh my God," the woman groaned as she almost fled the kitchen. "Just- just don't talk to me for the rest of the day Jazz!"

The mech's laughter followed Victoria from the kitchen and into the living room where she settled down on the recliner to hopefully enjoy the little time she had left before her "guest" arrived. Her sandwich was halfway to her mouth when she noticed the little scene on the floor in front of her. "Ironhide…what are you doing to my cat?"

"What's it look like I'm doin'?" the red mech huffed as he held a small kitty treat (which was still bigger than his hand) in front of the very attentive Nuisance. Strange since the kitten's attention span wasn't even the size of a flea yet. "I'm trainin' this li'l critter ta be a proper Autobot."

"What?" Victoria asked, watching as Ironhide pulled out his rifle and aimed it at the kitten. The protest that was on the tip of her tongue vanished as she watched the kitten that had only been in the house for two days immediately crouch down and roll underneath the coffee table, safely out of the line of fire. "…okay. That was unexpected."

Ironhide chuckled and scratched the animal's head when it bounced back out of hiding to obtain its reward. "Took me the better part of the night to get him ta do that, but he learned a lot faster than I expected."

Victoria sighed at the proud mech and tried not to grimace as he once more took aim at her pet. "You are not turning my baby into an army cat."

"Why not?" Ironhide asked as Nuisance repeated his previous actions. "He's better than some of mechs we had to train back on Cybertron."

"He is not an army cat," she repeated, emphasizing the point by lifting the small feline from the floor and placing it on her lap.

Ironhide frowned as the animal began to ignore him without a second thought and butted its head against the woman's hand. "Fine, but I'm tellin' ya, he needs the trainin' with the 'Cons runnin' unaccounted for 'round the house."

"If anyone attacks my little kitty, I'll step on them," Victoria cooed as she gave the black kitten an Eskimo kiss. Nuisance poked his tongue out to scrap it against the tip of her nose. "Yes, I will! No one is messing with my kitty."

The Autobot officer snorted at the display, but there was evidence that he was fighting a smile. "That thing's gonna be more spoiled than any youngling I've ever seen."

"Yes, he will be," she agreed, giving her pet the left over treats that Ironhide gave her. "If you want someone to train, go train Jazz on how to mind his own business."

The Weapons Specialist shook his head as he left the living room, passing Bluestreak, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker as they walked in. "You can't train Jazz. He's a force of his own."

"What about Jazz?" Bluestreak asked, pausing to coo at Nuisance as the kitten tumbled down the chair to greet him.

"I thought he would have told you guys by now," Victoria grouched as her bad mood resurfaced. She took a bite out of her sandwich, watching as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe began to fight over the TV. A fleeting thought of the Cassette twins made her realize that she hadn't seen them for the past two days, making her briefly worry about their disappearance before focusing back on Bluestreak's questioning optics. "We're having a guest soon thanks to that nosy mech."

"Can't you just tell them to leave?" Sideswipe asked as Sunstreaker won the short tussle and was currently skimming the channels for something good to watch. "Or not answer the door? We can set up a trap that'll dump adhesive on their heads when they step on the porch, and then, while they're blinded by the glue, we can stick those long, soft things that come out of your pillows to them."

Victoria quirked an eyebrow at the Autobot. "Which cartoon did you get that from?"

The Cybertronian equivalent of a tongue was her answer, and Sideswipe chose to ignore her since his brother had found a human "documentary" depicting aliens. While they laughed at the witnesses who insisted they had been abducted and dissected, Bluestreak climbed up to sit on the arm of the chair and waited until the woman had picked up Nuisance, who had tried to climb up behind him but kept slipping on the chair's leather, before asking, "Do you know who it is?"

"No," Victoria said with an annoyed tone. "Jazz refuses to tell me, and he took the battery out of my phone before I could look up the number. He's holding it hostage to taunt me."

The sniper chuckled at her put out attitude. "Jazz only does stuff like that when he deems it necessary. One time, he sent Prowl and Optimus on a scavenger hunt for an important data-pad that had 'mysteriously' gone missing because they were staying holed up in their offices and barely came out long enough to get some Energon. They were running all over base, following one clue to the other, until they both ended up in one of the storage rooms and found the pad hanging from a wire in the middle of the room. Prowl had been furious and didn't talk to Jazz for almost an entire deca-cycle, which was kinda hard because of their positions, but Optimus had gotten a kick out of it and told Jazz that he wouldn't mind doing it again. Apparently, it was a really good stress reliever."

"Yeah, well I don't appreciate this 'date,'" Victoria grouched, grabbing the attention of Sideswipe when she said "date." "I know you guys can stay out of sight, but how am I going to ensure that the Decepticons do the same thing?"

"We can lock them in the laundry room," Sideswipe insisted, turning down the volume of the TV despite Sunstreaker's angered growls. "We wouldn't want to disturb your _date."_

"Don't get any ideas," the woman said while Bluestreak sadly shook his head at his friend's insistence of being a "matchmaker." "Even if I was interested, I doubt alien robots understand how a human relationship works."

"Oh really?" Sideswipe argued in offense. "It can't be too different from the ones we have."

"Maybe not, but I bet there are some differences." Victoria dismissed him in favor of glaring at the black and white mech that bounced into the room. "What do _you_ want?"

"Our guest is 'ere!" Jazz said with excitement as he cartwheeled back out of the room. Victoria marveled at the mech's dexterity (even with them being so tiny, their bulky appearances gave the impression that they wouldn't even be able to properly do _any_ type of acrobatics) before what he said sunk in. She vacated the chair to follow him, leaving her half eaten lunch on the coffee table. "Now don't scare 'im off. Ah know ya mad but it aint da dude's fault."

"Jazz, go hide," she hissed as a knock came from the door, making a shooing motion with her hands. "We can't let him see you!"

The TIC just smiled and stepped aside for her to answer the door. "It's okay. Ah'm sure we aint gonna 'ave a problem with him."

Victoria sighed as she realized the mech wouldn't listen to her and just threw a jacket over him, ignoring the yelp he emitted at the surprise attack. "I'm not having you guys be taken away after keeping you safe for nearly a month!"

As Jazz attempted to free himself from the obstructive garment, Victoria glared at the door her unknown guest was currently standing behind. She was not happy with what Jazz had done and honestly just wanted to do as Sideswipe had suggested earlier—ignore the person. Dealing with a social call was not on her list of things to do today. She still had to wrap up the mechs' gifts, which was hard enough as it was since one of them seemed to insist on accompanying her everywhere now, not to mention she had also hoped to make at least a small dent in what was left to sort through in the cabin. How was she going to do as she planned with another person to entertain?

"I hate you Jazz," Victoria hissed, grabbing the doorknob with a strong grip and starting to yank the door open. "I hate you so much."

Jazz's reply was muffled by the jacket, but that didn't matter as she had already dismissed him and was preparing to do the same with the person behind the door, an excuse ready and on the tip of her tongue. She didn't expect to find her guest chasing a cream colored kitten up and down her front porch. "Cream, you can't just jump out of my pocket whenever you want to!"

Victoria blinked as the feline was caught and gently reprimanded. "Drew?"

The brunet looked up and smiled as he expertly held the wiggling animal in his hand. "Hey! Ya know, I was really surprised when I got a call from you; well, not _you_ per say, but your friend. When I gave you my number yesterday, I didn't actually expect to hear from you." Victoria could only blink once more as the young man's attention shifted from her to the spot beside her feet. "Oh, hey! You're the little dude that wouldn't stay in Victoria's pocket yesterday at the post office."

"Jazz," the mech introduced, sticking his hand up in the human ritual of greeting. "Nice ta properly meet ya!"

"Drew," the man exchanged and, to Victoria's immense surprise, bent down to reciprocate Jazz's actions. "I'm guessing you're the one who called unless there's someone else around here with an accent like yours."

"Yup," Jazz proudly answered, snapping his host from her daze to glare down at him. "She wasn't gonna do it, so Ah decided ta do it fo' her."

Drew awkwardly laughed when he noticed the woman standing in front of him wasn't exactly pleased by the mech's actions. "Maybe you should have asked first…I can always leave." He paused and glanced behind him, bringing Victoria's attention to the fact that there was no other vehicle other than her car in the yard. "Well, I can call Aiden back. My car's sorta in the shop after Nicholas drove it into a snow drift…that was hiding a big rock."

He sheepishly smiled, and Victoria sighed. Even if Jazz hadn't been looking up at her with what she guessed was a pleading optic band, she couldn't have just turned Drew away. They had only run into each other twice, both of which were completely unplanned, but he had already made an impression with her. Drew was a sincerely sweet guy, despite the company he kept, and was just one of those people that others were drawn too. Besides, he already knew of the Transformers and hadn't run to the nearest crazed scientist or avid collector.

Drew's sheepish grin shifted to a bright one as Victoria stepped aside and gestured into the cabin. "Well, come on in. You're letting the heat out."

**[~]**

Skywarp was not pouting. No matter what Thundercracker said. He was not– oh screw it! He was pouting. Big time. As in, snuggling under his fluffy purple towel and glaring at anyone who came near him, even his blue trine brother. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone after his ingenious plan was foiled the day before by _Megatron._ He had never felt such anger towards his leader as he did now, which most likely would have cheered Starscream.

Right now he was seriously questioning what his position with Victoria was. He had been on his best behavior for what felt like _forever,_ but did she acknowledge it? Well, his good behavior had sort of been negated after what his fellow Seekers did during her absence, but even before then she hadn't recognized the good behavior! She was still treating him like just about every other mech in the house.

Which wasn't completely true. Victoria gave the dumb Dinobot and Praxian brat special attention. Stupid Autobots! He deserved that attention! He was ten– no, _a hundred_ times better than those two. What femme wouldn't be jealous of the attention he was giving the human?

Skywarp groaned as he wrapped the towel around him even more. And that was the problem, wasn't it? Victoria wasn't a normal femme. She wasn't like the other femmes back on Cybertron, who were almost naturally attracted to the exotic looks of a Seeker build. Maybe she had found out that despite his good conduct, he still treated the Autobots like the slaggers they were. That explained why she wasn't so impressed by him.

Fraggit! He didn't want to start back at square one.

"Skywarp, are you still pouting under there?"

Skywarp worked his helm around to glare through the tiny slit of his towel. Starscream glowered back at him. "What do you want 'Screamer?"

Starscream's scowl deepened at the nickname. "I'm getting tired of feeling the urge to curl up in a corner. Either suck it up or block your end of the bond!"

The younger jet glared, purposely pushing his emotions onto Starscream. Instead of screeching, like he had expected, the Air Commander sighed and suddenly flashed a fish shaped cracker in front of his peep hole. "Would a cracker make it better?"

The question honestly threw Skywarp off, and it was enough for him to temporarily forget his problems. "I thought you lost all of your crackers."

Starscream almost smirked as the younger Seeker emerged from his self-exile. He didn't have a problem with admitting that his trine mate had been getting on his last nerve for the better part of the day. There was only so much of bouncing between hate, annoyance, and self-pity that Starscream could take. He had his own troublesome emotions to deal with without Skywarp's adding his own to the mix! "I did, but I stole them back when that bolt-brain Bonecrusher wasn't looking. He doesn't even realize they're gone!"

Skywarp followed the cracker with his optics as Starscream waggled in front of him. "You can't make me happy with a cracker."

"It's one of the pizza flavored ones."

Starscream's optics winked as the delectable morsel was snatched from his servos faster than he thought Skywarp could move. The cracker was nibbled on as Skywarp suspiciously watched his fellow Seeker. "I still can't be made happy with a cracker."

The tri-colored mech sighed in annoyance and kicked the towel as he stood from his crouch. "Get out of here! You can't hide all day."

Skywarp scowled as the other Seeker walked away. Stupid Starscream! The one time he felt compelled to do something for his trine mates was the one time Skywarp didn't want him to. And he was still pushing at the black and purple Seeker through their Trine bond!

With a sigh, the jet opened his private comm. link to the third member of their trine. _:Hey TC! Whatcha doin'?:_

Even without their connection, Skywarp knew Thundercracker was sighing before he answered. _:I'm checking out this new human.:_

Skywarp frowned and carefully stashed his half-eaten fish cracker. _:What new human?:_

_:A human that would be the equivalent of a mech,:_ Thundercracker said, ignoring the sudden spike of anger from Skywarp. _:He arrived about a joor ago and has been helping Victoria ever since. He reminds of a sort mix between the Autobot's flier and the younger Praxian. They seem to be getting along pretty well, and I'm actually curious to know how they met each other.:_

That just made Skywarp even more annoyed and prompted him to say, _:I'm taking over the rest of your shift.:_

**[~]**

Victoria laughed as Drew brought his current retelling of what appeared to be the many escapades of him and his friends to an end and immediately started another, never once pausing in precisely wrapping one of the more difficult gifts. The brunet reminded her strongly of Bluestreak, never staying quiet for long and not requiring much input on her part. His happy storytelling and active hand gestures also didn't annoy her.

"And Chip suddenly flew from the cabinet and attached herself to his head!" Drew said, laughing as he gently pushed aside the wrapped triceratops and picked up the brontosaurus. "I swear, that was the loudest I have ever heard Nicholas scream. He got Aiden back though, by getting Aiden's cousin to siphon the gas out of his car and leaving _just_ enough for Aiden to breakdown two blocks away from the nearest gas station. Aiden was not happy that day."

Victoria laughed and placed her final wrapped gift in a plastic bag for safe keeping. "You guys seem to like being mean to each other."

"It's all fun and games," Drew confessed, putting his dino-present in the bag with the others. "Aiden gets the worst of it, but he doesn't do much to prevent it. He actually starts it about half the time."

The woman smiled as Drew started on another tale. His story was short, and he watched her clean out a small space on the top shelf of the bookshelf, stacking the sketchbooks she pulled off in a pile on the desk they had been using. "So, who exactly are your other-worldlly friends?"

Victoria sighed, knowing the question would come eventually, and stepped down from the cardboard box she was using as a step up with the last few sketchbooks. "Do you remember the cartoon called _The Transformers_? It used to come on Saturday mornings."

"Nope," Drew answered, placing four random pencils from the desk in an overlapping square and using other pencils he found to stack on top of them. "I was probably too young when that show came on because I definitely would've remembered it. I did watch the movie though. I thought that was cool." He stopped, eyes widening. "Are they _those_ Transformers? Because that's freakin' _awesome!_ Is the one that talks through the radio here?"

It took Victoria a moment to realize who he was talking about before shaking her head. "No, Bumblebee's not here."

"Aw," he pouted briefly before brightening back up. "So how many do you got? We had to deal with ten people when they popped over to our world."

Victoria slightly envied that number. "Twenty-three." Drew's shock prompted her to add, "They're not _that_ bad."

"But twenty-three?" he said with a sort of awe as he stood up to help her hide the bagged gifts. "I don't envy you one bit. Our guests were cats for a short period of time for their visit." The woman shot him a confused look. "It's a long story that's really complicated if you're not an avid fan of anime. Heck, half of us didn't really get it. We're just luck enough to be a group of weird people to begin with."

"Okay," Victoria said, dragging out the word for added affect. She shoved the bag onto the shelf and made sure to tie them off so that the mechs with the ability to fly couldn't get into the gifts. She went to take a step down from the box she was using but lost her balance at the last second. The box began to precariously tip backwards, and she yelped while trying to find something to grab onto and prevent the coming fall.

Fortunately, Drew noticed the tilting box and was close enough to grab her before she fell. Still a little shocked at what could have been a disastrous accident, Victoria fell slightly limp in the brunet's grasp and leaned against him for support. "Well, I guess it was a good thing you did decide to visit."

Drew hummed, a little distracted by the small mech floating in the corner of the room and shooting daggers at him. He looked down and almost dropped the woman is sudden excitement. "Is that what I think those are?"

Victoria was confused about his sudden giddiness and looked down to see what had caused it. One of the flaps that had kept the cardboard box closed had been ripped during her fall, and colorful tiny blocks could been seen through it. "I think those are just Legos®."

"Just Legos®?" Drew repeated, managing to sound scandalized as he let her go and crouched down to pick up some of the multi-colored blocks that had come out of the box. "They're not just _Legos®;_ they're the coolest thing man has ever designed!"

"Um hmm," Victoria hummed as the man opened the box and gasped at the many blocks it contained. "If you say so."

"Can I please play with them?" Drew asked eagerly, making Victoria both equally amused and confused. "I'll put them all back when I'm done."

She shrugged. Why not? The box was only stashed away in here because it was going to be sold; might as well find out if what all was in there. "Sure. We can move back downstairs where there's more room."

Drew picked up the box and was out the door faster than Victoria was able to keep up. However, his excitement caused him to not realize how heavy the box was, so she caught up to him at the top of the stairs. "Oh jeez, there are a lot more in this box than the ones I have at home."

Victoria laughed as Drew picked the box back up and almost stumbled down the stairs in his eagerness to get to the living room. "Slow down! You're gonna hurt yourself over a box of blocks."

"They are totally worth it!" he announced as he took another break at the bottom of the staircase. "I'm so unfit! I need to start working out more."

Victoria placed a hand over her mouth to restrain her giggles as she made her way down the staircase just as he was about to pick up the box again. He paused though as a tiny yell caught his attention. With Victoria now standing by his side, Drew watched as a new little Transformer ran down the hallway from the living room. Drew's kittens, Vanilla and Cream, were chasing after him as he yelled, "It multiplied! We're being overrun by domesticated pets."

Drew opened his mouth to say something as the mech passed them, but Victoria prevented any sound from escaping him by quickly slapping a hand over his mouth. She leaned closer to him as Red Alert began to pass them. "Please don't draw his attention to you. He has a paranoia glitch that makes him freak out and sometimes crash. Crashes are a lot more painful and time consuming to fix than the simple freak-out you're watching now."

Red Alert ran into her bedroom, followed closely by the two kittens, and Victoria guided a thoughtful Drew towards the living room, though the male hesitated. "Is it alright for them to be back there because I can put them back in my coat pockets if you want me to. They like taking naps in them."

"It's fine," she assured him as they entered the living room. "There's nothing they can get into back there."

Drew shrugged and placed the box on the coffee table, briefly noting the two mechs that had ducked under said table and the one that was peeking around the recliner. Jazz was the only who didn't duck for cover, and he smiled from the spot where he was lounging on the couch. "Can I move this table out of the way? I need a lot of space."

"Sure," the host said, sitting beside Jazz and resting her chin in her hands. "You sound like you're about to begin a major project."

"Oh, you have no idea," Drew said as he pushed the table to the side. One of the mechs beneath it swore as they ran along to stay under the piece of furniture. "By the time I'm done, your little guests will have their own city to run for a few hours."

**[~]**

Red Alert cowered in the sanctuary of the bookshelf as the new animals curiously stared up at him, patiently sitting on the floor just outside the Autobot's book defenses. This was not cool. First the black one and now two more? What was that woman thinking, letting these animals into her house? This had to violate so many regulations!

And how could Ironhide just stand there chuckling at the epidemic they had on their hands? This was a serious crisis!

The blue eyes of the cream coated animal closely followed Red Alert as he uneasily paced the edge of the second shelf. Red Alert kept a close optic on that one. That was the one that had started chasing him to begin with. He took a step back as it slightly crouched and wiggled its rear. Dear Primus, that was what the black one did right before it pounced—quick! Someone needed to alert the others of the impending attack!

Red Alert tensed in preparation of fleeing once more and finding a better (i.e. _safer_) place to hide, when a black blur suddenly tackled the nefarious beast. With immense surprise, he watched as Victoria's pet—Nuisance he finally recalled—rolled around with the other kitten, both of them loudly mewling. The white feline watched the fight with an almost bored expression as it yawned and slowly prowled out of the room, leaving its comrade behind to fend for itself.

Ironhide, who had joined him at the edge, cheered as Nuisance got the upper hand, coming up on his rear legs to briefly hover above his enemy and falling back down on the other kitten. "I trained him well."

Red Alert just whimpered. It was trained now?

"You've got to be kidding me," Ratchet said as he too watched the fight though the books that surrounded his med-bay below them. "That's what you've been doing for the past day? If you had so much free time you could have volunteered an extra shift of Wheeljack-sitting instead of letting me waste my time when I have better things to do."

Wheeljack looked put out at the implication of needing to be babysat, but he was ultimately ignored as Ironhide let out another cheerful yell. Optimus chuckled at his officer's expression before Prowl regained his attention in their impromptu meeting.

"I can't believe you're training it!" Red Alert exclaimed as the fight ended with the new cat fleeing from the room. Nuisance sniffed at the departing feline before a dangling string from the quilt on the bed caught his attention. "What if it turns on us?"

Ironhide huffed and started climbing down the shelf to congratulate his pupil. "_He_ is going to be the first organic feline of the Autobots, and he has great potential."

The SD watched the red mech cross the room to reach the cat that was now on its back batting at the string and groaned. He didn't need another four-legged creature to keep an eye on! Wasn't Ravage enough trouble?

A delicate snort sounded from the pink couch as Mirage commented, "Am I the only questioning the old mech's sanity for giving a human pet Autobot training?"

**[~]**

It was a very common fact that Sunstreaker was never really impressed by anything. He, along with Tracks and Mirage, tended to stick his nose up at things he found not worth his attention or praise. It was why he didn't really have any close friends among the Autobots. That, and his violent tendencies tended to scare other mechs off (but it always seemed to attract more femmes…).

It was that proven truth that had Sideswipe smiling. He knew his brother better than anyone, and Sunstreaker was really a much better mech than most of their allies bothered to find out. It was just a little harder to break through the tough exterior that the Sunflower had mentally and physically erected. They had a rough past, most all of the Autobots knew that, but the friendlier, fun-loving twin just dealt with it in a different way than his brother. Sunstreaker just didn't make the effort to get close to others if he thought they had nothing in common.

"No, no, no, we can't put the stadium over there because that's the business district."

"Well, the colors totally clash with the movie theater."

The red and black front-liner wasn't the only one grinning at Drew and Sunstreaker's combined talents. Victoria had been smiling ever since the first skyscraper Drew had erected out of bright purple blocks had sent the younger male into an excited frenzy since, apparently, the blocks weren't supposed to come in the colors he was pulling out of the almost endless box. Drew's childlike wonder just seemed to rub off on just about everyone in the room, especially Bluestreak and Swoop, who were stacking different colored blocks together for small buildings that Drew carefully stationed around the Lego® city.

The only thing that kept Sideswipe from fully enjoying the experience was the glowering jet sitting off to the side. Skywarp hadn't smiled once and was constantly glaring at Drew. It was like the annoyance he had exhibited towards Bluestreak had transferred to the human male. Sideswipe had a feeling that it would be a common occurrence for anyone who made Victoria happy. Outside of Skywarp, of course.

"You know what? We'll put it over here and make block trees to surround it," Drew finally decided since Sunstreaker wouldn't agree to let the pink building sit next to any of the others. Sunstreaker glared at the empty spot off to the side and nodded. The stadium was carefully moved to the spot before minds could be changed, and Drew immediately started to piece another building together, the artistic mech picking out the colors for him to use.

"This is really cool," Bluestreak said for the umpteenth time as Swoop carefully put the final touched on their house's roof. "Why didn't we find these sooner? It would have been really awesome if we could take the racing track back out and weave it between the buildings. That way the city would have an actual road!"

Drew paused halfway through his building. "That's a really good idea…"

"No," Victoria denied with a shake of her head. "That thing took way too long to put together the last time. Besides, you've got the buildings too close together and the track wouldn't fit."

Both Bluestreak and Drew groaned, prompting another smile to flit across the woman's face. Sunstreaker snorted at their behavior. "Big sparklings."

"Babies," Victoria supplied before Drew could ask. "Sparklings are their versions of babies, and younglings are like toddlers through teens."

Drew nodded and stacked more blocks with Swoop's help since the other structure had been finished. "You sure know a lot about these guys."

Brief glances were exchanged between the mechs while Victoria shrugged. "I've learned a few things during their stay. Their vocabulary is different from ours and takes a little time to get used to."

"Like learning a different language," the brunet compared. "I hated learning Japanese. I still don't know what I'm saying half the time."

Victoria silently watched for a moment before standing up from the couch to stretch. "I'm getting kind of hungry. Would you like anything?"

"No thank you," her guest said absently. Victoria nodded and left the room without another word, which didn't bother any of the other occupants as they were too enthralled with the toy blocks surrounding them. Once she was out of sight, the blocks that Drew had been working with flew everywhere, and he blinked at the winged mech that stood in the center of the destruction. "Hey there, did you finally get tired of sitting on the sidelines?"

A sneer appeared on the jet's face as he pointed at the human. "I've got my optics on you."

Drew blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Shove it cloudhugger," Sunstreaker growled as he picked up one of the blocks that had landed beside him. "No one cares about your obsession anymore."

Skywarp glared at the Autobot, who glared with equal, if not more, hate, and took a page out of Starscream's book by haughtily turning his nose up at his enemy. The effect was lost by Vanilla the white kitten almost knocking him over as the feline moved to curl up in its owner's lap. Skywarp straightened and glared at everyone, whether they snickered or not, and just pointed at the human again. "That's your only warning!"

Drew watched him fly back up to the couch, where he did in fact keep his optics on the young man, and was just getting back to building when Victoria returned with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. She paused when she noticed the new building he had been working was smaller than it had been before she left. "What happened to your building?"

"I didn't like the design," Drew said, even though Sideswipe looked ready to rat out the Seeker for his rude behavior. "Maybe I should go for something more abstract."

Victoria shrugged and continued to watch as the builders eventually completed their city. Skywarp never once glanced away from the brunet, even after pointedly sitting on the woman's shoulder.

**[~]**

Later that evening, Victoria and Drew sat on the front porch's swing, wrapped together in a quilt as an added defense against the cold. A conveniently placed portable heater sat at their feet, funneling warmth through the blanket and keeping the small kittens curled in Drew's lap satisfied as they peacefully napped.

The two humans gently rocked on the swing as they easily conversed together while waiting for Drew's ride to arrive. Drew had just finished another story of his friends, and they now sat in a comfortable silence, watching the lightly falling snow in the light of the setting sun.

Victoria slightly shifted, causing the brunet to look up from where he had been sneaking a peek into the blanket to check on the cat siblings. "So, you've mentioned you friends from…another world quite a lot. I'm assuming you're not just stringing me along because of the talking toys you've played with most of the day."

"No!" Drew immediately denied, looking slightly offended by the thought that she didn't believe him. "They're most definitely _real."_

Victoria let out a slight sigh of relief, relaxing further into the swing. It wasn't exactly because she didn't trust Drew; it was just that she had been a little worried that they young man may have been coming up with farfetched tales, which some of them admittedly sounded made up. It would have been believable for him to just believe that there were other worlds out there—worlds that weren't just confined to outer space—but to actually _know _people from one? It was just too much of a coincidence, and it had been nagging at her all day.

Besides, it was easy to tell if her newfound companion was lying. They had only known each other for barely a day, but it was easy for Victoria to deduce that the younger man was the type of person who wore his emotions on his sleeve, unlike herself, and didn't make him that great of a liar. The few fibs he had told earlier in the day, such as the reason why one of his block buildings had suddenly been demolished or what had happened to the cookies that had vanished from her plate when she went to check on the other mechs, had been accompanied by slight guilt or embarrassment as opposed to the small amount of hurt and the severe frown that he gave her now.

"Okay, I believe you," Victoria finally said. "I just had to make sure, you know?"

The frown disappeared as Drew nodded and turned back to his pets. "I understand. I'd be a little suspicious too if someone confessed to being friends with 'cartoon characters.'"

Victoria smiled at the fact that he had added air quotations to the last part of his sentence. His friends and her little mechs weren't cartoons anymore—they were real, sentient beings. Even when they went back (she ignored the slight twinge of sadness that accompanied that thought), she'd never be able to watch the movies or cartoons the same way again. She shook her head at the sudden thoughts that swam through her head and focused on the whole reason she had originally asked the question. "It sounds like you see them on nearly a daily basis."

"Almost," Drew corrected with a slight smile. "Some visit more often than others, but that's because they don't have as important duties. As a matter of fact, the one I'm closest to has a habit of visiting about every three days. You met him yesterday."

Victoria nodded, remembering the long haired blond that had been with Drew when they had run into each other at the post office the day before. He had had a strange name, which completely evaded her at the moment, and he hadn't stayed very long after looking between the woman and his friend and muttering something suggestively to Drew, which made the blushing brunet shove him aside and order him to stand in the corner and wait. The way he had continued to shoot teasing glances at them afterwards suggested that the two had been close friends. She had started to mistake it for something _more_ until the blond male had been thoroughly distracted by a buxom brunette.

"So they have a way to come back?"

Drew's smile abruptly fell, and he now looked at the raven haired woman with a sad expression in his brown eyes. "Yeah but…I don't think it can be reenacted by the Transformers. It's something that's unique with the place they come from and to the people who live there."

Victoria sighed and slumped even further into the seat, staring out into the barely lit front yard. Drew morosely stared at her before following her lead and remaining silent. The only sound on the porch came from the creak of the swing and the hum of the portable heater.

"Have you ever been to their world?" Victoria asked out of the blue, saving Drew from blurting out something that would have most likely embarrassed him as the silence began to bother him.

Instead, he ended up laughing as he answered, "Yeah, and I only lasted three days. Their world is a little behind on the times, and they're not exactly the most popular people around. My three day visit involved a lot of running, sharp things being thrown at me, and an unplanned visit with a scary, bald guy." A shudder escaped him at the memory of that long, _long_ hour. "I still have nightmares about it."

Victoria smiled a little as she stole a yawning kitten from his lap. Drew let her have the animal as he shot nervous glances at her. "Are you, you know, planning to…"

The young woman frowned as she scratched the cream colored feline behind the ear. "A month ago, I would have instantly answered 'no,' but now…" She trailed off as the feline in her lap began to wiggle. "I'm not sure."

Victoria sighed and instinctively leaned a little towards him as a cold breeze fluttered across the porch. "Those little mechs in there…I've grown closer to them than I have with anyone in _years._ A part of me wants to follow them, but the other half is arguing how selfish that is."

Drew adjusted the cap he had on, buying time as he thought of how to respond. When he finally spoke, he was hesitant and periodically paused between words, as if he wasn't exactly sure of what he was saying. "I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would die to have the same opportunities we have been offered. But I don't think they could fully understand how hard of a decision it really is. There are a lot of factors and preferences that go into it, not just that you want to go." He sadly smiled at her, and Victoria instantly felt like he thoroughly understood the thoughts that were jumbled in her head. Now if only she could do the same. "Whatever decision you make, you're giving up _something._"

Victoria returned his sad smile. "That doesn't help me much."

"It's a decision you have to make on your own," Drew insisted with a shrug. "I was offered the same thing not too long ago, and personally I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave behind my family because unlike most of my friends, I'm actually a lot closer to mine than they are. I talk to my parents and brother on almost a daily basis and try to visit my grandparents as much as possible. If I lost that, then it would be like a huge void suddenly appearing deep inside me. I love my friends like family, but they understand that even if they go, I would never leave, even given the opportunity to live life among real ninjas. Nicholas, on the other hand, has confessed that he would drop everything and move right on in."

Drew paused as Victoria laughed and continued in a lighter mood. "Point is, we all have different opinions that shape our decisions. Something like this needs to be decided completely by you. _You're_ the one that this affects the most. My only suggestion is that you get all your ducks in a row before jumping into anything."

Victoria nodded and laughed again as Drew jumped at the sudden screamer music that came from his pocket. He muttered and shifted around to find his phone, catching a frightened kitten before it had a chance to jump out of his lap. "Looks like Aiden's about halfway up your driveway."

She was still giggling as they stood, Drew stuffing the felines safely in their designated pocket and Victoria wrapping the blanket completely around her. The male shuffled his feet and watched a pair of headlights flash through the trees as Aiden's car drove up. "Speaking of decisions and all, uh, I'm actually going to be headed back home the day after tomorrow, and, you know, with tomorrow being Christmas, I'm not sure if I'll see you again before I leave, but I was wondering if I could, maybe…text you sometime?"

Victoria smiled at how shy the brunet had suddenly become. It was nice to not be the socially awkward one for once. "I'm not exactly obsessed with texting, but…I think I could make an exception."

They smiled at each other, forgetting the car that was pulling up for a moment and not noticing the eavesdropping Seeker until it was too late. Drew yelped at the sudden attack to the back of his head, and Victoria rolled her eyes in exasperation at the tiny mech who had handfuls of brown hair clasped between his servos. _"Skywarp."_

"He was looking at you weird!" Skywarp protested as he swung around to glare into surprised brown eyes. "I warned you I'd be watching."

Victoria sighed at the possessive jet before reaching up to get him off Drew's head. "Yeah, yeah. Get back inside before you freeze a thruster or something."

Skywarp only let go after he thought he had gotten the point across to the human male, and he ignored Victoria's suggestion in favor of hovering just above her shoulder, still glaring at the brunet. Victoria shook her head and apologized for the jet, only to have Drew wave her off with a smile. "It's fine. He did warn me earlier, and I guess I should have taken him seriously."

She still felt bad for the sudden attack and walked him to the car where Aiden was pointedly staying huddled up in the heated interior. "He still shouldn't have done that."

Drew shrugged, another dismissal, and rubbed his freezing hands together. "I know it's not really my business, but if you _do_ decide to follow them, at least let someone know, 'kay? I'd hate it if you ended up on the news as a missing person."

Victoria nodded, catching his hidden question. "I'll let you know."

Drew nodded back with a little relief and paused before hesitantly pulling her into a hug. Despite her surprise, Victoria returned the gesture of affection, ignoring the sharp pitched alien curse from the porch and the surprised look on Aiden's face that she caught a glimpse of through the window. Drew didn't seem to notice as he tightly squeezed her. "They really care about you, you know?"

The woman blinked as the brunet released her with a smile. "Sorry, I've been told I'm way too affectionate for my own good."

Victoria simply nodded and waved as he climbed into the car, where he was immediately questioned by his friend even before he had a chance to shut the door. She waved until the car had vanished and sighed as she walked back to the porch. She noticed Skywarp was still glaring at where the car had been and frowned. "You shouldn't have been mean to Drew. He's a sweet guy."

The Seeker huffed and flew through the door as she opened it. "I don't like him; he's way too happy and weird."

"And you're way too possessive and annoying," Victoria countered while walking into the living room. "I don't like those qualities in a man."

Skywarp stuttered as the human all but ignored him to examine the mechs that were swarming the miniature city now that Drew had left. Mirage was highly impressed by the blue house, which was more like a mansion since it had about six more rooms than any of the other buildings. Ratchet and Ironhide were walking along the "streets" with impressed expressions on their faces, which quickly turned into scowls as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker raced through the streets and almost knocked them over. Bluestreak was telling Prowl every little detail of Drew's visit as the older Praxian examined one of the skyscrapers, using his little notepad to jot down notes which were most likely safety violations. Red Alert was already busy _telling_ the others of the many safety violations that had been broken.

Even some of the Decepticons were out and about after their strange absence throughout the day. Barricade was using his ironic choice of alt-mode to lie in wait between buildings and started chasing the Twins with his loudly obnoxious siren when they sped past. Rumble and Frenzy were bantering back and forth as they competed against each other to climb up one of the uneven buildings that had been created, capturing the attention of Red Alert, who quickly ran to them while spouting safety violations. Even Bonecrusher, the most recluse of the Decepticons, was examining the stadium set off to the side.

"Welcome ta Autobot City!" Jazz showed off as he finally noticed her standing behind the couch where he and Optimus stood. "The smallest city known ta mech an' man!"

"What? Autobots can't just claim the place!" Rumble protested, losing his footing for a moment and making Frenzy snicker while Red Alert looked like he was about to have a spark attack.

"We build half with him Drew," Swoop defended as he sat perched on the specially made landing space with Laserbeak almost snuggled up to his side. The only thing that kept them from touching was the fact that Soundwave was watching them closely from the table as he petted Ravage. "Half of city belong to Autobots."

"The other half belongs to the 'Cons then!" Frenzy rationalized, glaring at the Dinobot who was sitting far too close to his sister Cassette for his liking. Swoop didn't seem intimidated by the small mech and just tilted his head to the side, making Frenzy angry with what he deigned was an abrupt dismissal.

"Don't fight my brothas," Jazz insisted, spreading his arms out as if to hug them from afar. Optimus merely shook his head at the mech's gesture. "The city can bring our factions tagether!"

Loud snorts were heard from both sides at the saboteur's words. Bonecrusher took the time to kick in the wall of one of the multi-colored buildings. "Half of these structures are abominations to mechs such as me."

"Hey!" Bluestreak yelled in offense. "I made that building myself!"

"Which explains why it's so awful!"

Bluestreak scowled and started yelling at the tan mech in their language, prompting the Decepticon to yell back and completely demolish the building he had just kicked in. Bluestreak—door-wings now sporadically wiggling—was backed up by Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, and Bonecrusher was backed by Barricade and occasionally the Cassette twins. Victoria glanced between the two small groups as the sounds of clanking, beeping, and grinding filled the room. Jazz smiled when she leaned down between him and Optimus to watch. "Now aren't ya happy Ah was nosy?"

"Stay out of my business Jazz," she answered him, but her grin cancelled out the severity of the order. She glanced around at the assembled mechs. "You know, I expected Wheeljack to be really interested in this, but I don't see him anywhere."

Optimus glanced up at her to answer but quickly twisted around as a small bang came from the kitchen, quickly followed by the smoke alarm going off. He sighed as Victoria dashed into the kitchen and heard her yell, "Wheeljack! I told you not to mess with the kitchen appliances!"

"But I was trying to fix it!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I honestly didn't like this chapter :( I actually had different scenes planned out, but they didn't make the final cut because I couldn't get them to fit. Oh well. I just noticed about halfway through the chapter that I like to make Victoria sigh a lot, which is weird because I don't really see many people in real life sighing. I wonder how many times I've used the word "sigh" in this entire story…

See ya next Saturday :)

**EDITED: 3/27/2014 (Grammar, spelling, added a few words here and there, etc.)**


	21. Of Alien Holidays

**AN:** I am _so_ sorry for the delay!

_"Thinking"  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

_Joor: ~1 hour  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>_**  
><strong>__Megacycle: ~2.6 hours  
>Stellar cycle: ~7.5 months<em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Twenty

Of Alien Holidays

* * *

><p><strong>Day 23—Christmas <strong>

"Come on! She doesn't need to sleep so much!" Sideswipe whined as he followed Prowl around the shelf. He had been trailing behind Ratchet earlier, but that had quickly ended the first time the medic had turned to glare at him. "She's proven that she can function properly with just four hours of sleep."

Prowl sighed and ignored the mech to continue searching under the tiny furniture littering the second shelf. His pen had "mysteriously" gone missing earlier, and he was positive it had been hidden by a _certain mech, _specifically one whose name started with "J" and ended with "-azz." He was sure his hints made it easy for others to identify the culprit, but so far no one had come forward to report him.

"_Please?"_ Sideswipe pleaded, listlessly swaying his arms as he stood in one place to pout. "I wanna know what was in those bags she hid so hard!"

"Prowl," Ratchet growled from the shelf below, "if you don't shut him up _right now_, I'll…"

Ratchet's trailing off enabled the front-liner's imagination to end the threat, and he wasted no time flinching towards the SIC. There were so many things that an angry Ratchet was capable of, all of which were not good things. Well, not for the perpetrating mech at least. Sunstreaker had hypothesized once, after receiving the biggest dent he had ever had via a thrown wrench, that the medic was one of those mechs that got a kick out of inflicting pain on others. That's why the Twins tended to stick with things that would only get them wrenched or raged at.

The Praxian sighed as Ratchet's open-ended threat seemed to deter the younger mech for the time being. Now, to find that pen…

"It's only like two hours before she normally gets up!"

Ratchet growled below and banged something around (Prowl thought it sounded like he had picked one of the books up and tossed it to the other end of the shelf), but Sideswipe just looked down at the black and white mech with hopeful indigo optics. Prowl just blankly stared back. He wasn't about to wake up their host because Sideswipe wanted to hurry a human holiday along. Victoria had informed him that this "Christmas" didn't really have a set starting time and would take place at whatever time she awoke. Besides, she may have been able to function with little sleep, but that didn't make her the happiest person to be around, and when she wasn't happy she tended to get annoyed much faster, meaning she sometimes amused herself by saying "harmless" things that made his processor crash. Ergo, the most logical decision was to let her sleep as long she wanted to, if only to keep his sanity intact.

But Sideswipe wasn't going to give up, that much Prowl could see from the determined glint hidden behind the warrior's pleading gaze. The front-liner was just smart enough to get someone else to do it, which would lead to the human's anger/annoyance being directed at the other mech and not him. It wasn't often that Sideswipe exhibited such thoughtful plans, but it could have been because he had had more time to think to himself since Sunstreaker had finally given in to a much needed recharge.

Prowl made a split-second decision, one that would, hopefully, keep Sideswipe busy and prevent Ratchet from creating more work for himself while allowing Victoria to sleep as long as she wished. "I have a mission for you to complete before Victoria awakes."

Sideswipe slightly perked up. _Finally!_ Something other than patrolling. At least, he hoped it wasn't patrolling. "Give it to me!"

Prowl tried so hard not to smirk at the younger mech's eagerness. "It is of upmost importance-"

"Yeah, yeah. Skip that part and just tell me what to do!"

The ex-Enforcer sighed, and with a shake of his he, got to the point. "I need you to retrieve Bluestreak."

"Cool," Sideswipe said, heading to the ladder to climb down the shelf. Admittedly, he had been hoping for something more exciting than finding his bubbly buddy, but hey, a mission was a mission, and it was better than waiting for Sunny to online again. "So, what part of the house is our resident babbler in?"

"He's not in the house." Prowl fought another smirk and managed to keep his face completely blank as the front-liner froze by the ladder. "Bluestreak is currently in the shed with Wheeljack and is refusing to answer his comm. link. I need you-"

"No, Prowl!" Sideswipe begged, backtracking to fall at the pedes of his superior officer. "I'll be quiet, I swear! Don't send me back to the raccoons!"

"But you are the only one fit for this assignment," Prowl insisted, glancing down at the wood he stood on. If Ratchet didn't stop snickering, he didn't know if he would be able to keep a straight face. "My decision is final. Retrieve Bluestreak as quickly as possible." He clapped the upset mech on the shoulder. "I am counting on you."

Sideswipe groaned as Prowl went back to searching for his pen and dragged his pedes all the way to the ladder. He was hoping the sound would wake Sunstreaker, who was recharging on the next shelf up, but only got an angry Red Alert glaring down at him. He was still groaning as he reached the floor and slightly glared at the highly amused medic. No one understood his fear of what lurked outside after the sun set. Wheeljack, who actively left the house at night after being moved to the shed, never encountered a crazed raccoon, so they automatically assumed that Sideswipe had overreacted.

But Sideswipe knew better. He'll never forget the crazed look the mammal had given him…

Movement in the dark hallway caught the front-liner's attention, and he focused on the small figure hopping along the hallway, its bright green eyes becoming recognizable as it came closer. Sideswipe sighed when the kitten was almost on him. Victoria's crazy little pet with a short attention span—he couldn't even count the many times the animal had managed to sneak up on either an Autobot or Decepticon during the two nights it had been there. Red Alert was the mech who most often crashed because of the sudden attacks, but Nuisance had actually managed to freak Barricade out once. He had been there to witness it with Sunny, and the two of them hadn't missed the chance to taunt the pseudo-cop car.

"Hey Nu-Nu," Sideswipe cooed, stealing the nickname that Drew had called the kitten almost all day during his visit. Nuisance paused his almost galloping pace to cutely tilt his head at the mech. "You're not as evil as those raccoons, are you? Nope, you're a little cutie! Come here and let me give you a scratch."

Sideswipe had not been thrilled when the kitten had first been brought to the house. Animals had been placed on his blacklist after Victoria had left him to the evil wild ones. But the black cat was slowly growing on him thanks to Bluestreak and Ironhide's constant praise of the animal. And it hadn't tried to…eat…him…why was Nuisance wiggling his butt in his customary pouncing position?

Sideswipe yelped as the kitten pounced and snapped its small jaw around his arm. It didn't hurt—pit, he'd had _worse_ things happen to him—but that didn't matter because the feline was tugging on the limb like it wanted it to come off. "No, Nuisance! I thought we were friends! You've allied yourself with –no! You can't have my arm you deranged cat!"

The sound of chuckling distracted the kitten, and it let go of the arm it was chewing on to prance over to the source. Sideswipe glared as Ironhide congratulated his pupil and pulled a treat from his subspace. "Don't reward him! He just attacked me."

"I told him to takedown the first mech he came across," Ironhide admitted, scratching behind the cat's ear as it devoured the small treat. "This little feller's gonna be better at takin' down 'Cons than you and your brother are!"

The red front-liner growled and glared at the two as he sidled past them. Ironhide ignored him and gave Nuisance new orders, to track down where Prime had gone, and the two trailed down the hallway until all Sideswipe could see was the faint outlines of their figures. Grumbling under his breath about the stupidity of training a baby organic, Sideswipe continued to the living room, avoiding coming into contact with anyone else. Once in the designated room, he headed towards the window that looked out on the backyard.

Wheeljack's extended hours in the shed had begun after the discovery that the easily accessible window was simple to open. Unlike the sliding door, which was difficult to slide open because of its size, the window didn't weigh as much, and their strength was enough to get it open to their height and stick an object underneath to keep it from falling as they completed the next step. That step involved hitting the screen out just enough for them to wiggle through. After closing the window behind them (because they didn't want Victoria to notice the opening the next morning and lock them completely inside), all one would have to do is jump onto the trash receptacle stationed beneath the window and shimmy down the side.

Sideswipe huffed as he reached the window and looked up to measure the height. The hard part now was getting to the opening. Previously, there had been a little table sitting beneath it. Now that Victoria had slightly rearranged the room to accommodate the Christmas decorations, the table was pushed off to the side, just far away enough to make it impossible to jump the gap. Fortunately, and thanks to Wheeljack, she had gone a little crazy with the tinsel and had about four strands draped on the window, so all he had to do was climb it and hope it didn't slip out of place.

He groaned and jumped to grab the closest strand. "This sucks! I should have just done like Sunny said and recharged. Time goes by faster that way." He froze as the strand he was climbing up slipped a little and only continued when it showed no signs of doing it again. "And why does Prowl even need Bluestreak? It's probably just part of his caretaker complex. He always needed to know where Blue was as a youngling even before admitting to be his Guardian."

"I think the Autobot's gone crazy. What's your assessment Dr. Frenzy?"

"Autobot's are crazy from the moment they're sparked. I think he's just finally lost all common sense, Dr. Rumble. Oh wait! He never had any."

Sideswipe slightly turned his head to glare at the laughing twins stationed on the coffee table. Stupid Cassettes; how had he missed them anyway? "Oh ha ha. At least I'm not the size of a sparkling!"

Rumble took major offense to that statement and started yelling insults at him. In an amazing show of maturity, Sideswipe ignored the small mech and reached the windowsill in record time. The insults had dwindled to a halt after the realization that the Autobot wasn't going to respond, and Rumble and Frenzy silently watched as Sideswipe located the pencil that they had been using to keep the window up and proceeded to open said window. "What the frag are you doing? I thought you were afraid of the dark."

The twins laughed at their little jibe, especially when this one got the bigger mech to finally glare at them. "For your information, it's not the dark that freaks me out. It's the killer animals lurking in it!"

"So you're willingly going out to meet them?" Frenzy questioned while Rumble was too busy trying to keep his snickers under control. "Well that makes total sense, Autobum."

"I'm not staying out there long!"

For some reason his statement made the Cassettes laugh even harder. He glared and decided to ignore them as he made the small opening in the screen for him to exit through. After wiggling through it, he balanced on the outside windowsill and reached back in to close window, only to find that the Cassette twins had already done that and were looking at him with wide, slag-eating grins. He suspiciously glared back at them. What did they know that he didn't?

"Be careful out there," Rumble said, his taunting tone still easily noticeable even as the window muffled his words. "I hear the organic creatures get hungry 'round this time of night!"

Sideswipe growled and ignored their laughter as he jumped onto the trashcan. Fragging Cassettes; neither he nor Sunny had ever liked them. They were like Mini-Bots: little pests just waiting to be stepped on. The only exception was Bumblebee, and that was only because _no one_ could hate 'Bee.

He was halfway across the yard, stewing in his anger, before he noticed how quiet it was. It was freaky, especially compared to the daytime when the backyard was usually filled with the sound of Starscream barking orders or the noise from the house that naturally wandered out of the open door. In fact, this was probably the quietest he had ever heard it be since they arrived.

Natural paranoia flooded through him as he watched the dark trees off to the side, shadows contorting into figures that ducked behind trees and prowled along after him. They were out there, lurking amongst the darkness waiting for the perfect chance to catch him off guard. Sideswipe didn't care how much he sounded like Red Alert as he broke into a sprint towards the shed. The first raccoon had snuck up on him last time; that wasn't happening again!

He banged into the shed, panting in an effort to cool his slightly overheated systems and scaring the mechs who had been inside. He quickly shut the door before focusing on the engineer and sharpshooter staring at him with surprise. "I will not be taken offline by an Earth animal!"

Bluestreak and Wheeljack traded a glance. "Okay," Wheeljack finally said, dragging out the word as he gestured towards the small piece of scrap metal that served as a convenient Transformer-sized chair. "Why don't you take a seat to, you know, calm down a little?"

Sideswipe walked over and slumped into the slight dip of the metal. He hated being outside after dark, and he almost glared at the mech that had brought him out there. "What are you doing out here Blue? You've been hanging out here every chance you get for the past day or two."

"I'm making something," the sniper answered as he weaved some sort of wire into a narrow rubber tube and then placed it under a pair of oversized pliers to cut it. After cutting it the right length, he took it over to the brick/table where two little bent pieces of metal were placed. Sideswipe decided that they must have been charms because of their shape but was too lazy to get up and get a proper look at them. "What are _you_ doing out here?"

"Prowl sent me to get you 'cause you won't answer your comm." Sideswipe missed the second glance the two exchanged. "So, hurry up so we can get back inside. The faster, the better."

"Uh, Sides," Bluestreak started hesitantly. "Are you sure Prowl told you to come get _me_?"

"Yeah, he said 'retrieve Bluestreak' because he's gotta use fancy wording." Sideswipe paused when he finally noticed the other mechs looking at him in confusion. "What?"

"Sideswipe, you can't get back in the house after you've shut the window," Wheeljack explained slowly and carefully, watching the bigger mech as if he expected Sideswipe to suddenly explode like his first prototypes. "You can't even _reach_ the window because the sides of the waste receptacle are too smooth to climb up."

The red and black front-liner just stared at them. "So…we're stuck out here?"

Bluestreak and Wheeljack nodded and took a step back from the seemingly calm mech. Sunstreaker was the twin widely known for his temper, but Sideswipe could get pretty angry himself. It wasn't as often as the yellow mech, but it happened.

"Excuse me for a moment," Sideswipe said calmly as he stood up and dusted himself off. "I'm going to have a little…_chat_ with our second-in-command."

He ignored the two as he retreated to the farther side of the shed where he could glare at the house through a small slit in the wood. _:You slagger Prowl! You knew I wouldn't be able to come back inside once I was out!:_

_:You're…gurk…breaking…zzt…can't hear…keek…you.:_

His glare intensified. _:You suck at fake static, and I can hear Ratchet laughing in the background!:_

Indeed he could. The medic was enjoying this way too much. _:You will just have to wait with Bluestreak and Wheeljack until Victoria opens the door in the morning. It will be a good time to practice your patience. Prowl out:_

Sideswipe swung around and hit the nearest object. A hollow sound filled his area of the shed as the bucket he hit tipped over. Prowl was _so_ gonna pay! Sideswipe already had a few pranks running through his processor, categorizing them from harmless to intense embarrassment. He would get his revenge!

There was a scratching sound from the other side of the wall, and Sideswipe took off at a dead run to rejoin Bluestreak and Wheeljack in the middle of the shed. First, he'd have to survive being outside with the ravenous raccoons. And then he would get his revenge!

**[~]**

Swoop bounced in place as Victoria climbed up to get the plastic bags filled with gifts. There weren't many chances in the middle of a war to celebrate holidays. In fact, Swoop could count on one servo the few that had been celebrated, and more than half of those had involved only a quick cube of high-grade before getting back to the tasks at hand. Because the Dinobots were created nearly right on the eve of the war, they hadn't even been able to properly enjoy their creation day. Not that Wheeljack didn't try. They got Energon sweets every so often.

But that didn't matter because right now the Dinobot was fully focused on the bags that Victoria pulled off the shelf. This was going to be so much fun! He had watched some of the Christmas movies and specials over the past three days and even a little before that but he hadn't understood why the little human younglings were getting presents.

Victoria laughed as Swoop jumped from his spot on the desk to giddily ride on her shoulder. "You ready to see what you got?" Swoop enthusiastically nodded. "I'm surprised you let me sleep so long. I expected to be woken up long before I normally do, not three hours after."

"Him Prowl say you should be allowed to sleep longer," Swoop explained, restraining the urge to dive into the bags like the gentle-mech Ratchet had been trying to train him to be. He stuck to those teachings…most of the time. "Ratchet agree, so me Swoop let you sleep."

"Well that was nice of them," Victoria commented as they stepped down the stairs. "I wonder how they got Sideswipe to go along with that. He's been almost as giddy as you to get his present…"

"Hey squishy!"

Victoria turned around to see Sunstreaker walking toward them from the direction of the bedroom. He looked to be slightly lethargic, a side-effect that must have come from just onlining since he hadn't been awake when Victoria and Swoop had left the room, but that didn't seem to bother him much as he walked towards them. "What's up?"

"Can you let my brother in?" he asked, surprising her since he was normally more demanding. "He's been bugging me for the last four joors about stringing Prowl up by his wings and the evil raccoons trying to get through the shed or something."

"What's he doing outside?" Victoria asked as the yellow twin meandered past her. She clearly remembered letting every mech back inside the house before going to bed, even going to the extreme and dragging the workaholic engineer inside. The last thing she wanted was for them to be caught outside and seriously injured when she wasn't even aware of where they were. What would happen if they got hurt and weren't able to communicate with anyone?

"Don't ask questions woman!" Sunstreaker snapped with a glare, resembling his normal self as he walked to the living room. "Just let him in before he drives me completely insane!"

"Don't snap at me, you deranged daffodil," Victoria snapped right back even though she calmly followed after him. Sunstreaker glared back at her for the nickname and continued to glare as she stepped over him. "Is he too traumatized to come out of the shed?"

"Does that look like he's traumatized?" Sunstreaker griped as he pointed over to the glass door. Swoop was snickering before Victoria had a chance to follow the finger, but once she did, she had to bite her lip to keep from doing the same. Sideswipe was pressed flat against the glass, glaring at where Prowl and Ratchet were lounging on the couch and ignoring the snow that was beginning to pile up on his shoulders. His lips pulled back in a snarl when Ratchet waved at him, giving him a happy grin that just didn't seem to fit on the normally grouchy medic's face.

"How did he get out there?" Victoria asked, taking her time as she placed the bags of gifts on the coffee table and allowed Swoop to unpack them. Sunstreaker ignored her as he went to stand in front of his brother, putting his servos on his hips and just giving his twin a blank stare. Sideswipe returned that blank look before making a face, smashing his face against the glass to make it more exaggerated. "If he leaves a smudge on the glass, I'm leaving him out there for the 'coons again."

Sunstreaker must have relayed what she said because Sideswipe was suddenly giving her puppy-dog optics and pointedly wiping the spot he had been pressed against. The yellow mech snorted while stepping aside for the door to be slid open, and Sideswipe skipped in, sending glares at the mechs on the couch before dragging his brother off to a corner. Victoria shook her head at the way he whispered to his brother, periodically sending dirty looks at Prowl and Ratchet.

Something cold suddenly landed on the woman's foot, and Victoria looked down to see Bluestreak flicking snow off his door-wings and Wheeljack shaking his head like a dog and sending snow everywhere. "I can see why Wheeljack would be outside and even Sideswipe a little, but what were _you_ doing Bluestreak?"

"Making something," he answered, sending her a sweet smile before rushing over to where Swoop had unpacked everything and was piling things into two stacks. "Presents!"

Victoria laughed at their eagerness. It had been made obvious by both the Autobots and Decepticons that stuff like this wasn't done very often. Half of the mechs proved awkward, not really knowing how to proceed, while the others seemed to advance with little direction, knowing exactly what to do. In fact, Jazz was already pulling his gift from the pile and pulling it off to the side to wait patiently. Well, somewhat patiently. He ended up getting tired of waiting for the others to find their gifts and started handing them out, throwing Prowl and Ratchet's thinly wrapped presents up on the couch for them and amazing Victoria by walking straight up to an invisible Mirage and almost scolding him (in a Jazz-way) for hiding.

"What's the whole point of this?" Ironhide griped but took his little stack of gifts without complaint. Nuisance, who had developed a habit of sticking close to Ironhide most of the time, sniffed the pile and pranced over to rub against Victoria's legs.

"Just enjoy it Ironhide," Victoria answered with a sigh, bending down to pick up and cradle the wiggling kitten. She took a quick cursory glance at the assembled mechs and sighed again. "Where are Red Alert and Optimus?"

"At da base," Jazz answered while sneakily trying to open his gift. "Red said somethin' 'bout not bein' dragged inta human stuff, and O.P.'s tryin' ta convince 'im ta join us."

"Oh Red Alert," the woman sighed, placing Nuisance back on the ground beside Ironhide as she walked out of the room. "You're paranoia is what makes you Red Alert, but sometimes you just take it too far." She peeked back into the room and saw Sideswipe trying to carefully pull the tape off the paper so that he could peek inside but tape it back down when Victoria came back. It reminded her of the times she and Eric had tried to sneak early peeks of their gifts. "You guys can go ahead and open them; I don't care."

Victoria smiled, listening to the excited whoops as she walked down the hallway. At least some of them were getting into the spirit. Victoria sighed once more when she reached the bedroom and found the two missing Autobots in an intense discussion on the second shelf of the bookcase. "Hey, we've already started without you guys."

Optimus looked up and sighed while vaguely gesturing at Red Alert. "I am afraid we will not be joining you. Red Alert is adamant that someone remain here in case the Decepticons take advantage of our empty base."

Red Alert did look unyielding even as the young woman bent down to speak to him. "Don't you want to come out and have a little fun? Relax some?"

"Relax?" Red Alert repeated, looking insulted. "If I _relax_ than that gives the Decepticons a chance to attack! I don't have my monitors, so I have to make up for that by being even more vigilant. If that means sacrificing 'fun' then so be it! I won't give them any chances to commit Autobot casualties."

Victoria tilted her head as she looked at Red Alert's paranoia in a new light. Most of the time it seemed like his paranoia-glitch controlled him, making him freak out over little things and take things _way_ out of proportion. Now she realized that he was far more in control of it than she had thought. He used that paranoia to drive his duties, using it to his advantage to keep his fellow Autobots safe. It wasn't so much as a glitch, but a tool that the SD had learned to fully utilize over the years.

Optimus, though he might have come to the same conclusion, just shook his head. "Red Alert, it will not hurt for you to take a small break. Just long enough to enjoy one of the humans' traditions."

Red Alert glared at them, fully aware that he wasn't getting out of this no matter how much he wanted to. "I can come straight back here after this ridiculous thing is over?"

"I promise," the Prime swore, and that was it. Red Alert was climbing down the ladder shortly after he spoke and waited at the bottom for Optimus to follow. He wasn't about to let the commander stay behind if he had to go. Optimus briefly exchanged an amused glance with Victoria and followed. "It will do you well to relax for a while."

Red Alert just snorted and allowed Optimus to take the lead as they walked out. Victoria went to follow before briefly turning around and grabbing her computer and power cord. The trio made it to the living in time to hear Ratchet curse Victoria just before Sideswipe's victorious yell overshadowed him. Red Alert was not amused as he stepped into the paper littered room and started smashing the nearest pieces of wrapping paper into tiny balls and throwing them into one of the plastic bags, stating something about fire hazards and disasters just waiting to happen.

Most of the gifts had been open, and the living was filled with mostly happy mechs. Jazz was busy trying to get his new CD open, looking very intent on his current goal; Swoop hadn't even opened all of his since his dinosaur book had distracted him, and it looked like he was currently reading up on the dinosaur his alt-mode was based on; Sideswipe was testing out his new pranking tool, giggling as the paper he used it on stuck together very nicely, while Sunstreaker stood beside him meticulously lining up the little paint tubes he had received beside the little stack of canvases and mech-sized paint brushes Victoria had created; and Mirage was slipping his iPad into his new stylish case, looking very pleased with the new, light blue accessory.

Some of the others weren't looking too happy though. Ratchet was outright glaring at Sideswipe's new "gift," knowing full well that it was not going to be used to just stick paper together; Ironhide was busy trying to keep Nuisance from climbing in and out of his biggest flower pot that was boldly marked with a five (Victoria seriously hoped the mech understood the point of the numbers on the various sized "targets"); Prowl hadn't even opened his gift because he was too busy trying to keep Wheeljack from stealing the pretty Christmas lights that hung around the TV.

And Bluestreak was curled up in the corner of the couch sulking. Victoria flinched at the sight of the normally bubbly mech with his door-wings hanging low, almost hiding behind him, and the hurt expression on his face. She realized the mistake she had made by not informing him about his planned present and gently sat on the couch beside him. He slightly perked up and tried to look happy as he scooted closer to her, but his door-wings just didn't perk up as usual. "Ratchet says he's gonna smother you in your sleep for giving Sideswipe glue."

Victoria didn't know whether to treat the statement as a joke or a serious threat. Looking down at Ratchet, who stood on her other side, she figured it was something to take seriously. Hopefully, his little homemade gift would negate that nasty mood. "It's better than letting him get back into the super glue. Remember how long it took me to get Barricade off of the wall?"

Bluestreak snickered at that memory, but he still didn't look very happy as he watched her boot up her laptop. Actually he looked a little nervous as he shifted in his spot. "Sorry about not wrapping your present. You, Optimus, and Wheeljack had presents that I couldn't exactly wrap." She paused and glanced down at the mech mentioned last, noting that he had managed to unscrew a few lights and was currently dodging Prowl as he dramatically escaped to the sliding door. "Well, I didn't really get anything for Wheeljack for fear of him making it explode…"

"A very logical fear," Ratchet commented as he finally unwrapped his gift. He pulled the thin booklet out of the paper and glanced at the front page. "What is this?"

"A coupon book," Victoria explained as her computer continued to warm up. She noted that Bluestreak didn't look so down now that he knew she had gotten him a present and was fiddling with the general area of his body where she figured his subspace was. She still didn't understand the whole concept, so she could only guess that was where it was since that was the space he usually reached for before suddenly pulling an object out. "Each coupon has an action written on it, and you can use them whenever you want but only once."

The medic flipped the booklet open and immediately smirked at the first coupon. "'Go to the Brig: Twins are placed under the laundry basket for two breems because Ratchet says so.'" He flipped to the next one, and his smirk turned into a genuine grin. "'The Doctor is Out: The medic deserves a rest. You break it, you fix it. Break lasts for one megacycle." He flipped once more and laughed out loud. "''Hold Your Horses! Ratchet says that that crazy engineer must not handle explosive objects for one full joor. The medic doesn't need the extra work.' I like these. Why couldn't they have been created a few stellar cycles ago?"

Victoria was happy that the medic got a kick out of the few coupons she had created. Prowl's didn't have as creative messages on them, but the SIC's coupon book was similar to Ratchet's, minus the few she had included about Wheeljack. His was substituted with Jazz. She turned back to her computer and clicked on the internet icon. Bluestreak climbed into her lap as she typed in a website address. "What are you doing?"

"This is your gift," she explained, placing the computer on the coffee table and transferring Bluestreak along with it. "You weren't overly interested in anything we came across during our shopping trip, so I decided that since you liked playing the games that day, I'd let you download one onto my computer." She used the arrow keys to scroll down the page. "I found a site that gives me a whole month of free games, so just choose to download any PC game you want."

Bluestreak's door-wings perked up as he excitedly took control of the computer. Victoria had explicitly told them to _never_ download anything and had even thrown a fit when she found out that Jazz had downloaded one simple music file. So he felt very honored to be given permission to not only download something, but a _whole_ game to boot. He wasn't going to waste the opportunity, so he got down to finding the perfect game.

Victoria allowed Bluestreak some time to find a game and stood up to grab the abandoned pile of gifts. Since it seemed like the Decepticons weren't planning on coming out today, she supposed she had to deliver them to the mechs herself.

**[~]**

Starscream scowled as he stomped over to the little bulge beneath the purple towel. Thundercracker just sighed as he watched his trine leader kick said bulge. "Skywarp! Are you sulking again?"

Skywarp wiggled out of the towel to glare up at the tri-colored jet. "No, I am not sulking! Can't a Seeker think in peace around here?"

Thundercracker shook his head at Starscream's highly amused expression. "Oh, so you're _thinking_ now? I believe I'll have to encourage your pointless courting if the organic actually prompts you to use that long unused space between your audials."

The younger jet scowled at how stupidly he had just walked into that insult. Whatever, he had more important things to think about than Starscream, and he retreated back into the quiet cave of his towel. Ah, peace and quiet…and no Starscream. Now where was he? Oh yes! Assessing the new information he had gained the day before. Victoria didn't like possessive men, so he'd have to learn how to shove that emotion down while he was around her…or at least learn not to show it.

Starscream glared at how easily his youngest trine mate could ignore him. "How dare he just ignore his leader like that?"

"Just like Skywarp can ignore just about everything," Thundercracker explained unnecessarily, placing his servos on his hips as he observed the two. "You'd be amazed at how much he has honed that skill. I mean, he's even been able to develop a way to look like he's listening when he's actually not."

Starscream scowled even more as he remembered the many times Skywarp had volunteered to listen to him rant. The little glitch hadn't even been listening to him! He kicked the towel, getting an angry jab through their bond, before fully turning to Thundercracker. "What are you doing here?"

Thundercracker slightly frowned. "Well, Megatron hasn't given anyone their duties for the day, so I thought I would enjoy the little time I have with my trine. I didn't know that would offend you so much."

The Air Commander searched the blue jet for any sign of deceit, trying hard to ignore Thundercracker's brief feeling of melancholy at not being trusted, before deciding that the other Seeker's intentions were true. Years of being within the service of the Decepticons had taught Starscream that he couldn't completely trust anyone, no matter what their relation to him was. "So…what do we do?"

Thundercracker almost smiled at the smaller jet's honest question but managed to contain it because Starscream never liked it when he thought others were making fun of him. "We can outside. Megatron hasn't ordered us to spy on the engineer yet."

Starscream perked up at that. They hadn't been able to just _fly_ for a while now. "Let's go before he says something."

They weren't even able to jump from the washing machine before a commotion came from the door. Rumble and Frenzy walked in, dragging a bag full of things behind them. "Hey, look at what we found!" They pulled it to the middle of the room and waited for the others to gather around. "It was just lying in front of the door."

Frenzy ducked into the bag and dragged out the first thing he grabbed. It made a soft, muffled tinkling noise as he turned it around in his hands. "It's got Barricade's name on it."

Barricade snatched it from him and ripped the ridiculous shiny paper off of it, ignoring the little note that fell out. He scowled at the little bells that he pulled out. "What is this junk?"

Rumble snatched up the note. "Says here they're bells." He snickered at what he read. "Vicky says you're not allowed to sneak up on her anymore."

Barricade grumbled and tossed the annoying trinket aside before stomping back over to the dryer. With one gift down, Frenzy ducked back in the bag and dragged out the next one. "This one's got Ravage's name on it."

At the mention of the feline's name, the Cassette ejected from Soundwave's chest and delicately landed on the ground in front of them. Frenzy rolled the wrapped sphere to the Decepti-cat and helped his four-legged brother unwrap it. Another note fell out, but Ravage wasn't concerned about it as he immediately gave into his feline programming and started batting the purple ball of string around the room.

Rumble picked up the paper and read, "'Every cat finds these fun, so I hope you like it Ravage.'" The Cassette faked an "aw" as he added, "Love Vicky.' You're loved Ravage!"

Skywarp poked his head out of his towel to see what nonsense Rumble was talking about. He watched Ravage chase a slowly unraveling ball before noticing the new things the twins were pulling out. Frenzy scowled as he pulled out five packages. "How come all these go to _Bonecrusher?"_

Bonecrusher, who had been ignoring them from the beginning, stuck his head out of the dryer to glare their way. "What's for me?"

"All these," Frenzy repeated with a glare. Rumble was pulling out other stuff as his brother focused on the five Bonecrusher gifts. "Come over here and open them so I can see why a fragger like you is so special."

Bonecrusher growled but the curiosity got the best of him, and he climbed out of his hidey hole to stomp over to the group of 'Cons that now surrounded the bag of gifts. The blue Cassette watched closely as the tan Decepticon mindlessly ripped the paper off. He frowned as the bigger mech almost froze. "What? What is it?"

Bonecrusher rolled out a green front-load loader with the carefully painted word "Scrapper" on the side. Frenzy examined the construction vehicle from every angle. "It actually looks like Scrapper. Weird."

The bigger mech shoved the Cassette away and unwrapped the other construction vehicles, rolling them away and picking up the note that came with the Mixmaster replica without another word, which was odd because usually the 'Con had something nasty to say about everything. Frenzy shrugged and turned back around to find Rumble throwing three rectangle-shaped objects towards the Seekers. "Here fraggers!"

Starscream shrieked in offense as Thundercracker grabbed the nearest one. "This is yours Star-"

"Gimme!" the Seeker exclaimed, interrupting the other as he snatched the gift away. The paper was off faster than anyone could blink, and Thundercracker had to actually locate the paper to make sure it had even been there. Starscream held the red, white, and blue mini-pillow, spinning it around to look at it from every angle. Skywarp watched from the top of the washing machine, waiting for Starscream to freak about the little gift not being big enough and was surprised when the his trine leader squealed and hugged the pillow close. "It's beautiful!"

"It's a pillow," Thundercracker pointed out as he unwrapped his.

"It has my colors, and anything with my colors is beautiful!" Starscream bragged, pointedly keeping his pillow away from everyone else. He looked over at Thundercracker's pillow. "We can't all have beautiful shades of blue."

Thundercracker just vented a sigh, having _more_ than enough experience with ignoring Starscream's snarky comments. He picked up the last gift that Frenzy had tossed at them, realizing that it was yet another pillow, and waved it up at Skywarp. "You want yours?"

Skywarp hovered down to take his gift and unwrapped a purple pillow with black lining. The note for the three Seekers was tucked into his present, so he picked it up and read, "'I figured you guys would appreciate these additions to the little hoarding pile you've got going on the washing machine. The colors matched your paint schemes, so I immediately thought of you. P.S.: tell Starscream not to get a big head.'"

"Well, she knows you better than we thought," Thundercracker commented, and Starscream just scowled. The older Seeker noticed Skywarp's dreamy look and immediately thought the worst. "Skywarp..."

"She was thinking of me," Skywarp repeated with a silly grin.

"She was thinking about all of us."

"But she was thinking about _me._ And the note was in _my_ gift._"_

"_Dear Primus,"_ Thundercracker thought as Skywarp flew back up to their nest to snuggle with his new pillow. _"Give my brother a functional processor soon."_ He looked over at where Starscream was snuggling with his pillow, saying something about how beautiful it was and petting it in almost loving manner. _"Double that order, please."_

"What the slag," Rumble complained as he and Frenzy unwrapped the gift that had Laserbeak's name on it. "How come _you _get a whole freakin' house?"

Laserbeak just twittered as Soundwave examined the red and black birdhouse, carefully stepping over Ravage's yarn trail. The twins stuck their heads in the little hole and examined the inside. "There's a bunch of stringy stuff in here…and another note." Frenzy pulled the paper out. "'Girls need a place to get away from all the guys.' What the frag does that mean?"

Soundwave watched his only femme Cassette just shake her head and scoot into the house, twittering some more as she approved. Soundwave slightly tilted his head as she communicated to them through the comm. link and watched Frenzy scowl. "No, you can't invite the Dinobutt to your new house!"

Laserbeak puffed up in offense and started up an argument with the twins on how they didn't decide things for her. Soundwave bounced his head from Cassette to Cassette and wondered how this seemingly one-sided conversation sounded to the others. He finally decided to let the siblings blow off some steam (and he was just too amused by Laserbeak finally losing her temper and chasing the twins around the room while shooting at them) and walked over to the last few packages. He located the one labeled for Megatron, one of the biggest of the pile, and slid it over to where his leader had made himself a little lean-to in the corner.

Megatron had grown tired of sharing the dryer with Bonecrusher and had ordered that a shelter be made for him off to the side, slightly separated from everyone else. Starscream had put up a fight at being order to make _Megatron_ his own little private room, not that it really mattered in the end. Starscream's complaining had gotten him out of doing any manual labor.

Soundwave politely knocked on the little cardboard lean-to and waited for his leader to stick his head out. "What is it Soundwave? I was taking a na– making plans."

The telepath pointed at the package he had dragged over. "Delivery."

Megatron looked the gift over, stepping out of his house to examine it from all sides. He kept his small cannon pointed at in suspicion. "It's not a trick, is it?"

"Negative," Soundwave denied and gestured over at the others. "Other gifts: harmless."

"Other gifts?" The grey mech scowled at his second-in-command snuggling a pillow. "What abominations are those?"

"Presents," Soundwave explained, wondering how Megatron could have missed the big deal known as "Christmas." "Human holiday calls for exchange of gifts."

The scowl on the tiny mech's face deepened. "I don't have to return the favor, do I? Because I won't." He poked at the paper. "In your opinion, should I even open this?"

Soundwave felt the urge to sigh. Why was he always asked stupid questions? "Gifts have proven harmless."

Megatron hummed and ripped a strip of paper off. Once he saw the contents, he started ripping the paper off with more vigor until the tiny go-kart was completely uncovered. He examined the mini-vehicle and checked under the kart. "She got the engineer to rig it with a little engine…it's likely to explode…"

The TIC almost sighed again as his leader waited for his opinion _again_. "Advice: try it."

Megatron nodded and jumped into the seat. He fiddled with some controls, taking a while to figure out how to turn it on and tensing when it clicked on. When he didn't go flying from an explosion, he smirked and gently pressed the pedal. Soundwave barely flinched as he watched the Kreon lurch forward and run straight into the wall with a loud bang. "I meant to do that! Just testing how well it takes a hit."

Soundwave silently watched as Megatron backed up and rode around the room, chasing Starscream off of his pillow and almost running Barricade over as the scout sneaked back out of the dryer to snatch up his discarded bells. The Decepticon ran into the wall about three more times, but the telepath chose to look over those incidents. Normally, he'd collect and store the data to be later used as blackmail, but this was _Megatron, _not Starscream.

He finally released the sigh that he had been pushing back as he walked back to the last two gifts. One of them, which was actually three packages tied together with a bright green ribbon, were labeled for Rumble and Frenzy, so he sat that off to the side for whenever the twins finally escaped Laserbeak's wrath and examined the last one. He was the last Decepticon without a gift, so it was a given that it was for him. He carefully pulled the paper apart, folding it back up and setting it off to the side instead of mindlessly throwing it into the middle of the room. He looked at the simple object in front of him and picked the note up.

"Soundwave, I thought you could use something to help you relax because I've noticed that you're like the 'parent' of the other 'Cons. I hope you enjoy it!"

Soundwave folded the note up and subspaced it before blankly staring down at the gift. It amazed him at how accurately Victoria had been able to find gifts for the Decepticons.

**[~]**

Why, why, why, _why?_ Why did Bluestreak agree to get this game? Oh yeah, _Sideswipe_ said it would be a good game. It had high ratings; everyone's reviews said it was a _great _game; horror game? Psh, humans couldn't make a game that would scare a Cybertronian.

Screw Sideswipe! Bluestreak was terrified, and it showed with how he wildly swung the mouse, looking for a place to hide. The music in the background sped up and the poor mech whimpered. "Sideswipe run!"

"I'm running!" Sideswipe yelled back as he held the shift key down. Sunstreaker stood behind him, optics wide as he watched the screen go dark as their character's lantern ran out of fuel. "Turn the light back on!"

"I can't!" Bluestreak whipped the mouse around as he ran down another hallway. "We ran out of oils five minutes ago!" The sharpshooter found a random room for them to duck into, and Sideswipe immediately pressed the control key to crouch down in a corner. The music began to slow down and the annoying sound of clattering teeth filled the speaker. "I think we lost it."

"Okay," Sideswipe said with false courage, and Sunstreaker smirked at him. "It's obvious he's gone, and we have to completely backtrack now."

Bluestreak nodded and moved the character cautiously out of the room, using tinderboxes to light up the hallways. "So, we have to go back and pick up that key to-"

Both mechs suddenly screamed as they turned the corner and ran straight into the monster that had been previously chasing them. Their screams made the other Autobots in the room turn to stare at them, but they were ignored as the younger mechs tried to regain their wits as the screen turned black and "advice" flashed across the screen.

Sideswipe released a nervous laugh. "Th-that was nothing. When we regenerate the monster will be gone."

"I wanna go make cookies with Vicky and Swoop," Bluestreak whimpered as they reappeared in the room they had been previously hiding in. He distracted himself by taking the time to actually search the room and found more oil to relight his lantern. "Why did you make me choose this game?"

"Because it wasn't supposed to be scary!" Sideswipe turned to glare at his brother. "Shut up! You were just as scared as we were, and you can't deny it. You're side of the bond was wide open."

Sunstreaker scowled and turned back to his paints, which he had set out before becoming distracted by the game his companions were playing. But not even his painting could keep him from wondering back to the computer. By that time, the gaming duo was wandering around in the dark again. "You have to turn on some lights before you go insane."

"We've got this," Sideswipe insisted, but Bluestreak took his advice and started lighting torches every few seconds. "We won't have anywhere to hide if all the hallways are lit up!"

"Well, you'll die if you go insane."

"You don't know that!"

"Um, guys?"

"Why do you think it warns you not to go insane?"

"To make you use your potion thingies!"

"_Guys?_"

"You don't even use half the things you pick up!"

"I would if you stopped distracting me!"

"_We're gonna die if you don't run!"_

The brothers turned back to the screen just in time to scream with Bluestreak as the distorted humanoid ran up to them and slashed the screen. Their cries died as the last lit room they were in reappeared, the game patiently waiting for the players to continue. Sideswipe was about to press the key to run when Bluestreak roughly slid the mouse away. "That's it! I'm done! Victoria, I wanna make sugar cookies with you now."

The Praxian jumped off of the table, ignoring Jazz as the saboteur took the time to pause his music and ask what the screaming was about. He hurried to the kitchen where Victoria and Swoop were happily cutting cookies into Christmas trees and stars. The Twins watched him vanish, and Sideswipe rubbed the back of his helm. "Soooo…you wanna take over the mouse?"

Sunstreaker snorted and jumped off the table to follow the other mech. "Are you kidding? My sanity is already questionable."

"Yep, you're right," Sideswipe agreed, closing the computer without further argument and trailing after his brother. "I hope you have more cookies that need to be made Vicky!"

**[~]**

Victoria was smiling as she shut her cellphone and stood from the bed to stretch. Today had been a very…peaceful day. All of the mechs seemed to be too distracted by their gifts to cause trouble. Even the Decepticons had been quiet. Though Megatron had been annoyingly showing off his new mode of transport every chance he got, and Ravage had almost attacked Nuisance when the kitten had wanted to play with the ball of yarn the mechanical cat was slowly unraveling around the house. At least Sideswipe had been too preoccupied to use his glitter glue, and Red Alert had been happy to receive his cheap camera.

The brunette checked the time and was surprised to see that she had been on the phone for almost an hour. Usually her annual Christmas call to her dad only lasted about five to ten minutes, depending on what report she had to get typed up before the end of the year. Maybe it was because Benjamin, her half-brother, had demanded the phone to tell her how "amazingly cool and awesome" the _Transformer_ toy she had gotten him was. Her step-mom had got on the phone then, telling her how much she appreciated the perfume set, and they somehow got into a discussion about the latest scandal surrounding politics. And then her dad had regained the phone, and they had reminisced past holidays for the last twenty minutes.

Victoria yawned and looked around the bedroom. Red Alert was busy hooking the receiver for his camera up to the little portable TV that Victoria had honestly been surprised that he had found. Looking back, she shouldn't have been _too_ surprised that he had since Eric was turning out to have been an electronic hoarder. Swoop was up in his "room" (which was really just a divided part of the top shelf) playing with the brontosaurus he had gotten and munching on the only cookie Ratchet had allowed him to have, which was okay because it was only Santa dinosaur cookie they had made. Wheeljack was serving time under the laundry basket for stealing the light bulbs, but he seemed to be fine with his current predicament and was trying to convince Mirage that tinsel boas would gain popularity amongst the mini-mech population in the house. Mirage remained undeterred in his opinion and was playing with some of the apps he had downloaded earlier.

Optimus was taking advantage of the quiet day and was lounging on the pink couch in the second shelf with one of the books opened up in front of him. Victoria decided that now was as good of an opportunity as any to give him his gift. After casually walking up to him, she bent down to peer into the shelf. "Whatcha reading?"

Blue optics winked as Optimus looked up at her in slight confusion before glancing down at the piece of literature he was keeping propped open with his pede. "It appears to be brief biographies of the most influential people in human history. Reading about some of these people…it amazes me how much one person could accomplish in such a short lifespan."

"There are few lucky ones who are able to do that," Victoria said, noticing the picture of Mohandas Gandhi in the corner of the page he was on. "I'm sure more has been accomplished on your planet than here."

"You would be amazed of how alike our races appear to be," the Prime answered cryptically as he marked his page before closing the book to give her his full attention. "Was there something that you needed?"

"Yeah," she answered, suddenly nervous as she dug an object out of the pocket of her sweatpants. Maybe she should have found a way to make it more presentable. "Um, I guess you kind of noticed how you didn't get anything…"

"I need nothing," Optimus said honestly as the woman briefly paused. "Watching my fellow Autobots enjoy themselves was as good of a gift as any." His optics brightened in a smile before dulling as he took on a serious expression. "I should be thanking you for helping my mechs forget the troubling times that have befallen our race. I have not seen them act this way in…a very long time."

Victoria felt embarrassed by the sudden thanks, and it showed as her cheeks reddened without her consent. "I-it was nothing. I, uh, haven't really been doing much." She glared as Optimus chuckled. "Okay, you've completely derailed me from my previous objective. Be quiet so I can give you your gift!" Optimus made a motion with his hand, and her eyes widened as he zipped his "mouth" shut and threw away the key. "Wow, I thought Jazz was the only one trying to learn human gestures."

"He likes to demonstrate what he learns," the leader said with happy optics.

"Whatever." Victoria unfolded the paper in her head and held it against her. "I wasn't really sure what to get you because I figured you wouldn't really use a coupon book like Ratchet or require paints like Sunstreaker, so I thought I could give you something more…sentimental." She looked at the paper before handing it to Optimus. He looked surprised when he saw what was on it. "I think I've told you this before, but Eric _really_ admired you even after he should have grown out of cartoons. This was hanging on his wall because it was one of his best drawings, and I don't think it was coincidence that Starscream picked it up. I want you to have it."

"I-" Optimus trailed off, and it was the first time that Victoria had seen him at a loss for words. "Are you positive? I am aware that this means a lot to you. Jazz has made it known how you 'ripped a good one into Starscream' for destroying the other work your brother did."

"_Jazz,_" Victoria said with a small groan. Stupid mech and his nosiness. "He needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut. But that's not the point right now. Eric would chew me out if I let his idol walk away when I had the perfect chance to give you something that he worked so hard on. He would do the same…after fainting a couple of times and making a complete a fool of himself."

Optimus nodded and carefully folded the paper back into precise squares and subspacing it for safe keeping. "I am honored that you would grant me such a sentimental item. Your brother was truly an excellent artist, easily rivaling the masterpieces that I have seen belonging to Sunstreaker."

Victoria stared at him before suddenly rubbing her eyes. "You're making me want to cry!"

The Prime let his surprise show, and he didn't know what to do as he wavered between reaching out to her and retreating. "I, uh, I didn't mean-"

The brunette waved him off as she stood. "No, no! It's okay. I'm a woman, and I'm just getting a little emotional right now. Take care of that." Optimus nodded, and Victoria looked around the room. "Well…" She trailed off as she heard two familiar screams and headed towards the door. "I'll be in the living room trying to pry Bluestreak and Sideswipe from their morbid game. Red Alert, don't get so close to the screen; it'll ruin your vision."

Red Alert scowled up at her but stepped back from the screen that pictured a perfect view of the back porch and the shed. Wheeljack waved as she left the room, where she immediately stopped on the other side of the door to wipe away the sudden tears that she couldn't explain. She was glad that she gave the piece of art to Optimus because what she had said was true. Eric would have eagerly handed over the drawing and would have probably died on the spot after hearing the compliment his hero had given him. Maybe it was just the fact that she had given away the last thing he had put his heart and soul into?

"No," Victoria sniffed a bit. "I think it's just getting to be that time of the month." She paused and looked up at the ceiling with an imploring expression. "Please Lord, just let me skip it this month. The last thing I need is Ratchet asking awkward questions...or Jazz getting nosy."

"Vicky!" Bluestreak yelled as he ran down the hallway towards her. He paused at her feet and ignored her questioning expression. "I was playing that game with Sideswipe, and I looked at the time and got worried because I thought you had already fallen asleep, so I hurried down here to make sure you hadn't, and you're not asleep, which is a good thing because that would mean I would have to wait until tomorrow, and I don't think it'll mean anything tomorrow because Christmas will be over, and-"

"Bluestreak!" Victoria interrupted as she bent down to lightly tap him on the head with one finger. "You're speaking in run-ons again sweetie. Just slow down a bit."

Bluestreak took a deep breath and released it in a gush before nodding. "Okay, I'm calm now. I was just a little worried and now I'm nervous, and I have no-" He paused at the pointed look he was given. "Sorry, I tend to do that when I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous Blue?" the human asked a little worried. Did something happen in the living room that she needed to know about? Bluestreak twiddled his fingers before pulling something out of his subspace. Victoria blinked at the object's sudden appearance and blinked even more when it wasn't his prized rifle. "What's that?"

"A bracelet," he explained, holding out the crudely made piece of jewelry. "I saw how much human femmes like to wear stuff like this, and when we went shopping you liked to stop and look at the things that go on your wrist and you even tried some on, so I thought that since you were getting us something, you deserved a gift in return, and it was the first thing that popped into my head, and I thought you would like it, and I'm sorry if it doesn't look as good as some of the other stuff you liked!"

Bluestreak said the last bit in a rush and all but threw the bracelet at Victoria in a nervous bout of energy. She easily caught it and examined the rubber strap, figuring it must have had some sort of wire in it because of the way it contorted and stayed in the shapes she bent it into. She finally noticed the two charms hanging from it and used her thumb and index finger to hold one of the ornaments in place. "What's this? It looks like hieroglyphics or something."

The grey mech looked relieved that his gift wasn't being criticized and perked up as he pointed to the first symbol. "Those symbols are how we write our language. That one you're holding between your fingers means friendship. Or that's what it roughly translates to in English."

"What about the other one?" Victoria asked as he picked up the second one.

Bluestreak looked slightly embarrassed as he said, "Forever."

"Oh, so it's like a friendship bracelet," the woman exclaimed, catching on she fiddled the charms. "Like the ones they sell nowadays where one person gets one charm and another gets the second one, and when you put them together you get 'friends forever.'" She missed how Bluestreak nervously bounced from one foot to the other as she clicked the charms together and proceeded to slip the bracelet over her hand. Victoria examined the way it loosely clung to her wrist and smiled. "I really like it Bluestreak. Thank you for making it for me."

The Praxian nodded and looked up as she stood. "I was hoping you would. I just felt bad that you were spending your money on everyone else but not getting anything in return."

Victoria smiled down at him as she began to walk towards the kitchen and living room. "Well, this is the best present I've ever gotten. Now, do you want a cookie because I haven't eaten anything almost all day and those cookies have been calling for me ever since we took them out of the oven."

"Yeah, sure," Bluestreak said, but he remained in the same spot. "I just need to tell Mirage that Prowl said Wheeljack could be released." Victoria nodded, and he sighed in relief as she turned the corner and allowed his door-wings to droop as the tension left them. "Oh man, that was _way_ harder than I thought it would be."

"So _that's _what you've been working on."

Bluestreak yelped and spun around to see a giddy Wheeljack standing behind him. "Wheeljack! Were you, uh, standing there the whole time?"

"Hmm," Wheeljack hummed, pointedly taping his blast mask in mock thought. "Yeah, pretty much saw the whole thing."

They stared at each other for a bit before Bluestreak's door-kibble tensed back up. "Don't say a word."

"What could I possibly say?" Wheeljack asked, though his vocal fins flashed with amusement. "It was very sweet of you to make your own gift. But I do think it's funny how you only explained the individual symbols."

"Shut up Wheeljack," Bluestreak insisted as he hurried down the hallway. His speedy retreat didn't deter the engineer who hurried after him. "I told you not to say anything!"

"But I think it's funny!" Wheeljack insisted, picturing endless fun as he chased after the younger mech. "I mean, when you put them together, it tends to mean a little _more_ than friendship."

"Shut up Wheeljack!"

"Don't bonded couples like to engrave those symbols on their significant other?"

"_Shut up!"_

**[~]**

_:I think he's dead.:_

"He isn't dead! He's just…recharging?"

_:But he hasn't moved for _joors!_:_

Frenzy ignored Laserbeak as he colored in the shape on the page. But he did glance back up, and it was easy to see the slight worry that flashed across his visor. "He can't be dead. I mean…he's still _there."_

Laserbeak shuffled closer to her blue brother. _:But he's never been that still unless he's hurt. He even moves around while in recharge.:_

The bipedal Cassette roughly nudged his brother, who was coloring on the page opposite of him. "Hey, you don't think anything's wrong with the boss, do ya?"

Rumble glanced over at Soundwave and gave his brother a "duh!" expression. "Of course there's something wrong! Beaky's right; the boss don't sit that still for that long. Even when he's watching the monitors he gets up every half joor to do something."

But it couldn't have been that bad! Ravage wasn't showing any concern, and normally, the oldest Cassette would be the first to know if something was wrong. Frenzy glanced at where the feline was happily rolling around in string. Then again, Ravage has been a little too…_distracted_ to notice much. "What are we gonna do?"

Rumble shrugged and went to reply when movement out of the corner of his optics caught his attention. Barricade was moving towards where Soundwave was lounging in the comfy mini-chair that Victoria had given him. The scout must have been bored out of his mind since Bonecrusher was more interested in cuddling up with the toys that reminded him of the rest of his gestalt because normally the mech wouldn't even _think _of approaching Soundwave. Now, he was glaring down at the telepath as he stood over him. "Why does a fragger like you get something like that while I'm stuck with _bells?"_

At first, the Cassettes thought their caretaker would just ignore the other Decepticon, but Soundwave finally stirred from his long-lasting stillness to blankly stare at the other mech. "Soundwave: superior."

Barricade snarled. "That's a bunch of slag! All you do is sit on your aft all day and blackmail the rest of us!"

"I knew he was stupid!" Rumble hissed as Soundwave slowly stood from his chair. "No one insults the boss like that."

The indigo 'Con stood slightly taller than the scout and just continued to blankly stare down at him. Barricade glared back before suddenly keeling over with a whimper of pain and grabbing his helm. He writhed in pain for nearly half a breem as Soundwave continued to just stare before slouching in relief.

Soundwave didn't care as he lifted his pede and shoved the mech backwards, watching him slide a few inches before stopping. "Soundwave: superior." He settled back into his seat as if nothing had happened. "Chair: mine."

_:I told you he needed a break,: _Ravage complained as he chewed on the yarn clasped between his jaws. _:Normally, he would have just ignored that idiot's thoughts, but he's stressing himself out too much lately.:_

"Meh, whatever," Frenzy muttered and picked up a different crayon to scribble with. "He's not dead, so it's all good."

Rumble and Frenzy's crayons scribbled across the pages for a while before they both glanced up as one to answer Laserbeak's new question. "No, the Dinobutt can't come over to your new house!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> I'm still sorry about the delay :( My weekend was a little busier than I expected and I didn't even finish typing this until about midnight last night. Speaking of delays, a little heads-up for next weekend: I have no idea if I'll be able to update. I hope to, but I'll probably be busy getting my school stuff ready to start classes next week and might not be able to write much this week.

Sorry about this seemingly pointless chapter too. I started the Christmas thing and I had to finish it…but Sideswipe's impatience reminded me of my Christmas pasts ;P I was _always_ the first up and had to wait 2-3 hours for everyone else to wake up. I feel your pain Sides, I feel it! (Mostly) And the game the mechs were playing is based off of _Amnesia: The Dark Descent_. I've never played it personally, but I've watched others play it (which made it less scary because watching others freak out just made me laugh!), and it's a disturbing game…very disturbing.

And I finally found a fraggin' copy of _Exodus_! I had to go to four different stores before finding it. But I have it now, so soon I won't have to use the wiki for looking it up :D …just ignore the fact that I should have read it at least a year ago when my Transformers obsession finally kicked in…

Hope to see you next weekend :)

**EDITED: 4/1/2014 (Grammar, spelling, missing words, etc.)**


	22. Decisions

**AN:** So…I'm back :) I missed an update, but I'm hoping this long chapter will make up for it (and Beowulf828 wanted a longer chapter, so I obliged since he provides me excellent feedback). And, of course, thanks are in order because the last set of reviews got me over 200 XD I can't even express how happy it makes me to know that so many people like my writing enough to get me to that number. I don't overlook you people who just favorite or follow either, so thank you very much for those as well.

_Joor: ~1 hour_  
><em>Megacycle: ~2.6 hours<em>  
><em>Stellar cycle: ~7.5 months<br>Deca-cycle: ~3 weeks  
>Orn: 13 days<em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Twenty One

Decisions, Decisions…

* * *

><p><strong>Day 24<strong>

The first thing Victoria saw the next morning made her frown. Sprawled on her stomach with the blankets only covering the upper half of her body and half of her face squished into the pillow, she couldn't help but worry. Does sitting too close to a bright screen cause harm to a Cybertronian's optics? Maybe she should ask about that the next time Ratchet brought up embarrassing questions… "Have you been staring at that screen all night?"

Red Alert snapped his helm around to look in her direction before immediately focusing back on the live feed of the empty back porch from his camera. "As a matter of fact I did."

Victoria groaned as she began her morning ritual of stretches and rolled over onto her back. "You worry me Red Alert."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're weird."

"Yeah, well…I still don't trust you!"

The woman yawned and finally rolled out of bed. "You need help with your insults."

Red Alert frowned and punched a button on the mini-TV. It didn't do anything, but it made him feel better. Somewhat. "Excuse me if I have better things to do than make a hobby out of making up creative insults."

"You don't have to make them up," Victoria assured him, swaying over to the dresser to pull out a black sweater and grey sweatpants while unconsciously noting the fact that her clean clothes supply was getting low. Great, that meant she'd have to go through the hassling process of moving the Seekers from the washing machine and coaxing Bonecrusher out of the dryer…_again._ "Just borrow the ones that the Twins come up with. They seem to have a competition with Rumble and Frenzy on who can come up with the most imaginative insults."

Red Alert snorted without looking away from his impromptu monitor, not even flinching at the plethora of screams that came from the living room. Victoria, on the other hand, jumped with surprise and momentarily found her arms tangled in her sweater above her head. Once the problem had been solved, the young woman shot a surprised glance at the security mech. "How long has that been going on?"

"All night," the predominately red and white mech answered. "Prime finally decided to close the door after you started waking up. It seemed to work because you went right back to sleep."

Victoria frowned at that. "Who's been screaming?"

"Who do you think? It's your fault by the way. They never would have gotten the game if it wasn't for you."

Her frown deepened as she easily figured out what Red Alert was talking about. She should have followed her gut and put the computer away instead of letting Bluestreak talk her into leaving it in the living room. "Have they been playing that game _all_ night?"

"No," Red Alert answered somewhat reluctantly, finally looking up from the screen as his host finished dressing. "They can't play it for more than a quarter of joor at a time before having to find something else to do, but they always go back to it eventually. Ratchet also forced them to shut the game down for the past two megacycles after Swoop started clinging to him. I got suspicious of the silence and had to comm. Prowl about it."

The mech's statement surprised Victoria for a moment, and she took the time to really look around. "Where is everyone?"

"They didn't want to be stuck in here all night," Red Alert explained with a somewhat annoyed tone, like Victoria should have known this. "We can shut the door to your room, but there's nothing in here that we can move to be able to reach the doorknob. Everyone preferred to be on double patrol rather than being stuck at base with nothing to do."

"And you've been staring at that screen all night."

"I thought we established that! Your intelligence level just went down by ten points. I'd be suspicious, but I've come to realize that's just a thing humans do."

Victoria simply shook her head as she moved to the door. "I should have never gotten that camera for you. Instead of helping you, it seems to have just made you crankier and slightly more paranoid." Her back was completely turned to him, so she missed the glossa that was childishly stuck out at her. It was tucked away again by the time she had turned to finish addressing him. "Take a break from the stalking for a while so you don't completely short-circuit your optics, okay?"

Red Alert was slightly surprised by the concern that tinted her voice and frowned as he watched her leave. Her show of genuine worry for them still didn't change his opinion of the tentative idea that had been suggested at last night's officer's meeting. Besides, there had been no problem with his optics that Ratchet hadn't been able to fix.

Oblivious to the fact that the SD was actually doing the complete opposite of what she had suggested, Victoria moved down the hallway while sighing at the next batch of surprised screams. She turned the corner with the full intention on scolding the Twins and Bluestreak for playing that horrid game all night (why had she let Bluestreak pick just any game?) but stopped in surprise at seeing the small group of mechs huddled in front of the laptop.

"Do you have no sense of direction? You just ran in the _opposite _direction of where you needed to be."

"Well _sorry_ Mr. My-Aft-is-More-Important-Than-You'll-Ever-Be-'Cause-I-Was-Rich. I'd like to see you enter a door that you just opened after hearing a growl behind it!"

"Cool it, my mechs! No need ta jump down each other's throats. Blue didn't run that far away, so it's justa simple matter o' backtracking."

"Me Swoop not like game no more."

"Wussy Autobots! It's not the sounds ya gotta freak out over…it's when ya actually _see_ the monsters! Appearing out of the darkness to stagger right past the place you're hiding…"

"Shut up, shut up, _shut up!"_

Victoria shook her head as she watched Bluestreak swing his arm out to hit Frenzy. Frenzy danced away with an amused snicker, though she noticed how he didn't protest when Bluestreak closed the supposed growling door and placed a couple of boxes in front of it before moving on. Mirage and Sideswipe continued to glare at each other until Jazz pointedly stepped between them, and they turned back to the game just in time to jump and/or freak out with the others in the group as the screen shook and a torch lit up the room Bluestreak had just entered. Sunstreaker rudely paused the game to glower down at the Cassettes that were suddenly attached to his legs.

The group was calming down as Bluestreak entered another room to pick up some items and read a note when she finally decided to make her presence known. "Why are you guys still playing this game?"

A smirk flickered across the woman's face as the youngest mechs shrieked at her sudden voice, and the older ones just slightly jumped. Even Barricade, who was watching from the corner of the couch and not officially part of "the group," swung around to glare at her. Victoria merely lifted a mocking brow. "Oh, are you guys…_scared?"_

"Course not!" Rumble denied as he shuffled back over to a pile of papers. Victoria was pleased to see that it was sheets from one of the coloring books she had given the twins, all colored in with symbols written on the top that could have been their names. Or witty insults knowing the Decepticon twins. "We were just…playing along with the dummies here."

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe glared at them as Swoop flew up to huddle into the human's neck. "Me Swoop scared."

Victoria sighed as she gave into his silent plea for snuggles. "Then why are you still watching it?" She glanced down at Mirage. "And what are you doing watching it with them? I thought you were responsible enough not to be drawn into such a morbid game."

The former noble gave her a slight shrug, a movement uncharacteristic to him, and Jazz answered for his fellow Special Ops companion with a grin. "Ah admit it's pretty disturbin', but it's kinda addictive too. Ya just can't stop watchin' 'til it's over."

Victoria rolled her eyes and noted the Praxian's twitching wings as he lay on top of the mouse, trying to regain his wits after having a slight panic attack from the game. "Maybe you guys should take a short break."

She was answered with a resounding "No!" and Bluestreak picked himself up to look at her with pleading optics. "Ratchet _just_ let us start playing again. Ten more minutes!"

The woman glanced around the group before sighing. They were all grown mechs, despite the fact that some of them acted like little kids. "Fine, far be it from me to order grown, alien robots to stop playing a game."

Some of them cheered and got back to the game. Jazz was climbing up the back of the couch to talk to her without yelling when the next freak out happened, and he grinned as he watched the woman jump in slight terror at whatever had appeared on the computer screen. "What Christmasy thing we gonna do taday?"

Victoria frowned, both at the game and the saboteur. "Christmas is over Jazz. In fact, we should probably start putting the decorations back up."

"What?" he asked with surprise and disbelief. "It can't be over! We didn't do half da stuff we been watchin' on TV."

"Jazz," she started with a sigh as Swoop flew back down to stand next to Sideswipe, who didn't appear at all upset when the Dinobot clung to him with fear. "We did the main event of Christmas: the gift giving. Isn't that enough?"

"What 'bout a party?" Jazz insisted even as she tried to walk away. "There's always a party!"

"I'm not sanctioning a party for tiny mechs!" Victoria fought back as she slowly left the room. "Christmas only comes once a year, Jazz. It's over, so just deal with it."

"How d'ya explain da '12 Days o' Christmas' then?"

"Jazz-"

"Where's my partridge in a pear tree and two turtle doves?"

Victoria rolled her eyes again at the mech's teasing grin. "You don't even know what those are."

"Let's make a gingerbread house then!"

The brunette just shook her head as the mech kept going, naming everything that he had seen on TV and continuing even after she left the room. Victoria chuckled as she heard him mention the secret Santa game before a movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. Thinking that it was Nuisance, since she hadn't seen the kitten all morning, she stared down the hallway at the open closet that the supposed kitten had ducked into. A moment later, a small tan figure peered out from behind the open door and ducked back behind it when he saw the human still staring in his direction. Having no idea what the Decepticon was doing sneaking around, Victoria decided to ignore the strange behavior and entered the kitchen without a second glance.

Optimus, Ratchet, and Ironhide were standing on the table, divvying up the Autobots' weekly supply of crackers while Prowl was given the unwanted task of distracting Nuisance on the floor. He was doing pretty well, circling the cat with a distrusting look in his optics while Nuisance's eyes followed the twitchy movements of the mech's wings. Victoria spared them a short glance as she pulled out a chair at the table. "Is it cracker time already?"

Ironhide snorted and was about to make a comment when Ratchet slapped a cracker in his face to keep him on task. Optimus chuckled at his old friends' behavior and answered their host with a simple nod. Victoria looked intrigued as she picked up the rectangle cracker. "You guys have gone through the Ritz crackers, devoured the Goldfish®, and now you're starting on the graham crackers?" She flicked the granules of spice that stuck to her fingers, and Ironhide snorted at the rain of sugar and spice that fell on them. "Oh, and you guys are being daring this time—cinnamon instead of plain."

"It's the only kind left!" Ratchet protested as he threw what he had in his hand at her. She flinched out of instinct but was otherwise unmoved as the cracker flopped onto the table beside her hand. "Now give me that cracker so I can divide it up properly."

Victoria picked it up and broke it in half before pointedly starting to nibble on the half that she kept. Ironhide was chuckling as Ratchet snatched away the offered end with a growl and stomped off to the other end of the table to split it up. "Think ya coulda ticked him off more?"

"No, that's the Twins' job," Victoria answered him and got more chuckles for her efforts. Another cracker was chucked at his head, and the red mech turn to yell at the medic, who gave it right back with a little more conviction. As the two's verbal fight got heated, the woman turned her attention to Optimus, who was continuing his business like his two officers weren't squabbling like children. "What's crawled up his tailpipe this morning?"

"Ratchet has been in a…unpleasant mood since finding out that Swoop was watching Bluestreak and the Twins play their game," Optimus answered calmly as he stacked crackers. Now that Victoria stopped to look at him, it was kind of silly to watch the Autobot leader do something so…_mundane. _She looked away in order to fight the urge to tease him about his cracker dividing. If he noticed her efforts, he didn't comment and patiently finished his task before facing her again. "I am sure you can understand his disgruntlement."

"I wanted to step on Sideswipe for convincing Bluestreak to download it," she answered without thinking before shrugging as if to quickly dismiss her statement. It probably wasn't the best thing to tell a commander that you wanted to step on one of his soldiers. "But it was what Bluestreak wanted, and the whole concept of the idea was letting him get whatever he wanted."

"I understand. Sometimes, a mech has to learn from his mistakes." Optimus' theory was punctuated by a squeal from the living room and curses that sounded like Sunstreaker had switched personalities with his brother. "They cannot learn if you are constantly deterring them from ill-advised choices."

Victoria nodded in total agreement. Maybe Bluestreak would think twice before automatically agreeing with Sideswipe next time. Or Prowl would learn to stop taunting Nuisance with his door kibble and maybe he wouldn't end up lying on his front in the middle of the kitchen with an amused kitten batting at his door-wings. Just saying. "So, after cracker cracking-" Ratchet growled at her poor attempt at humor. "-what do you have planned for the day?"

"Well, Jazz has said something about a second day of Christmas…" Optimus trailed off and looked up at her for confirmation. Good, Optimus had learned that in some situations he had to take his third's words with a grain of salt. "Other than that, Ironhide has managed to convince me to partake in the gift he received yesterday."

"And I'm gonna wipe the floor with ya," Ironhide bragged as he retreated from the side of the table with the medic and peered over the edge of the table at where Prowl was trying to wiggle out from beneath a certain kitten. "Just like my li'l protégé did with Prowl."

The SIC snarled in Cybertronian, and the inflection of his voice signaled that it was probably something he wouldn't normally say. Even Ratchet paused to look at him with bright, surprised optics. Victoria had no idea what he said, but commented, "Wow, I didn't know uptight Prowl knew those words."

Prowl glared at her as the officers on the table either chuckled or guffawed (as was the case with Ironhide) and twisted around to fling the animal off. He stood up in a huff before stomping out of the room, muttering a few choice words under his breath. Once he was gone, Nuisance finally noticed his owner and pranced over to rub against her legs, acting as if he hadn't just taken down a high ranking Autobot officer.

"Was there something you had planned?" Optimus asked as Victoria picked her pet up to cuddle with it.

"Not another Christmas," she said, confirming his suspicions. "I guess…I should get back to going through my brother's things."

Optimus nodded and turned as if to leave. There was a loud noise from the other end of the table, and he turned to see Ratchet giving the leader a pointed look before jerking his helm in the direction of the woman. Optimus turned to Ironhide, who was giving him a "get on with it" look before sighing and finally turning back to Victoria as she tried to pry her shirt from Nuisance's claws without causing too much damage. "Victoria, there was something I wished to speak to you about."

She hummed, an indicator for him to continue, and Optimus glanced back at his companions as if to get confirmation. They nodded back and a small part of her wondered what would possibly have the mech nervous enough to seek encouragement from his fellow Autobots. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you plan on doing once we leave?"

"Go back home," Victoria answered without pause and couldn't help but wonder what else he thought she would do. "Go back to Florida, back to the humidity and heat, and back to my boring job. I'll probably just pretend this never happened and keep what little sanity I have left intact."

"You'd forget all about us ta be 'normal'?" Ironhide summarized gruffly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Talk about wasted potential."

Ratchet snorted and began to subspace crackers. "What? Were you planning on training her like the cat?"

"It's somethin' better than pretendin' none of this ever happened!"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Victoria interrupted before a new fight could begin. "The only person I could talk about this experience with—who wouldn't think I had completely _lost my mind—_is Drew, and he lives on the other side of the country. The odds of me every seeing you guys again is like zilch." The three Autobots looked at one another, and her eyes narrowed. "What do you three got planned?"

"Last night a suggestion was made during a brief meeting," Optimus confessed. "The mech who suggested it wishes to remain anonymous for the moment, but Wheeljack confirmed that it was possible. It _would_ require a few alternations but-"

"Alright, stop talking around the subject and just spit it out," the woman said in annoyance, and it wasn't just because of the puny claws digging into her collar bone. "I'm sure you're an impressive orator Optimus, but I don't have the patience for long-winded speeches right now."

Ironhide snickered at the red and blue mech's brief bout of embarrassment before being whacked across the back of the helm by the undefeatable champion of helm slapping and wrench throwing. Harsh words were exchanged, but only drew the kitten's attention as Optimus continued. "We would like you to return to Cybertron with us."

Victoria stared at him with blank grey eyes, and he could only remember two other times since becoming Optimus Prime that he had ever felt this nervous before. The first time had been the brief period after receiving his new name. Fortunately, that didn't last long; after all, who had the time to be nervous when a war was breaking out? The second time (and third, and fourth…there's a pattern here if you feel inclined to figure it out) included every time Ratchet deigned it necessary for surprise maintenance checks. No need to elaborate on _that._ But there was just something about a being ten times your height staring you down that got a mech to twitching.

"What?" Victoria finally said in a tone almost as blank as her eyes were at the moment.

"Dear Primus, please don't tell me the Twins' stupid is rubbing off on you," Ratchet snapped as he stepped up beside Optimus to critically stare up at her. "We're offering you a chance to come back to Cybertron with us. It's obviously a better choice now that we've heard what you plan on doing after we leave." He glared at her. "Really? Are we so unimportant that you could just return to your old life and pretend we never existed? I can't help but be a little offended by that."

The medic turned away as she snapped out of her daze and jumped off the table to stalk out of the room. Victoria was surprised to see how upset the medic had reacted when she didn't immediately jump for joy at being offered a one way trip to another planet. Optimus looked slightly upset as well but covered it up well as Ironhide was distracted by Nuisance. "You do not have to accept the offer, but I would like you to think about it before giving us a final answer. Wheeljack assures me that the adjustments he would need to make are quick and simple."

"Yeah, yeah," Victoria waved, still a little dazed with the sudden offer. She stood from the chair and combed her fingers through the hair she had forgotten to comb that morning. How strange; before coming up to the cabin, the young woman had gone through time consuming steps to make sure she was always presentable, whether she planned to go out or just sat around the house all day. "I've…gotta go get started on organizing the stuff in Eric's room. I've put it off for too long now."

Optimus watched as the woman quickly retreated from the room and vented a sigh. Ironhide pushed the kitten's head away from his chest to move to stand beside his commander. "She acts like she _wants_ to be alone after we leave."

"She just needs time to think," Optimus assured his Weapons Specialist. "This is a life-changing decision she is making."

"Yeah, the choice between bein' alone or comin' back with us," Ironhide argued with a snort. He pointed to the spot beside him and grinned as his feline student took the hint and sat patiently beside him. Man, he was good. "The girl aint got no friends ta hold her back, and her only family barely speaks to her."

"I know," Optimus said, his tone border-lining annoyed and tired. "Just give her some time."

Ironhide just snorted again but remained silent. He was an experienced warrior and knew when to shut his mouth. Besides, there was really nothing left to say. They had stated their offer to Victoria, and the decision lay firmly in her hands. Now, moving on…

"Think your old gears got what it takes ta outshoot me?"

Optimus smiled behind his battle mask. Leave it to Ironhide to use target practice to vent his annoyance.

**[~]**

"Skywarp, are you sure-"

"For the hundredth billion time TC: I'm positive!"

Thundercracker frowned, looking the purple accented jet up and down before turning to Starscream. "How can you just sit there and let him leave looking like _that?"_

Starscream paused fluffing his new pillow up to glare at the blue Seeker. "It's called entertainment Thundercracker! For once in your life just enjoy it." He hopped up onto his newly fluffed pillow and spread himself on it until he was comfortably lying on his front with his wings pleasantly twitching above him. "It's better than fighting with the Autobots over which station to watch on the TV."

Thundercracker looked at Skywarp and then back at Starscream. "But…are you really going to _encourage_ this behavior? Weren't _you_ the one protesting all of this barely an orn ago?"

Starscream snorted, that one sound confirming his changed state of mind. "Thundercracker, it's a _crush_. A period of intense infatuation that lasts until the novelty of it wears off."

The oldest Seeker briefly glared at his trine leader. "I know the definition of a crush, Starscream."

"Then stop blowing it out of proportion!" Starscream screeched before settling back down. "Skywarp is just feeling a little lonely after the many stellar cycles of not having…_fun_ with the femmes. It's completely understandable for a mech his age to go through periods of this behavior."

"Yes, I understand that," Thundercracker intoned as he pointed to the third Seeker. "But is _this_ necessary?"

"I think it's perfect for the occasion."

Thundercracker let out a frustrated growl, turning back to the youngest jet, who was puling one last piece of tape from the dispenser. "Skywarp, you are not giving yourself away."

Skywarp pouted as he taped down the end of the ribbon. "It's my choice TC!"

"Well I'm sure Victoria wouldn't exactly appreciate getting a Skywarp for Christmas!"

Skywarp gasped. "You're just jealous I never gave you as good of a gift!"

"It's prostitution!"

"Don't try to taint my present with your lies!"

"This is better than the soap operas that noble watches," Starscream snickered as his trine brothers bantered back and forth. "Now all I need is some popcorn to make it perfect!"

"No TC! I worked hard on that bow!"

"I'm not letting you give yourself away like a common pleasure mech!"

Starscream's snickering turned into cackles as Skywarp gasped in offense. "Oh, this just got even better."

"Did you just call me—?"

"Now Skywarp, you know I didn't mean that," Thundercracker interrupted before Skywarp could finish. "It's just…I don't want Victoria to think you're too easy."

The younger jet's optics winked in a parody of a human blink, and he looked down to examine the gaudy ribbon he had wrapped around himself. "But…I saw a movie with a human who did this for her lover."

"Yes, and how quick was Victoria to turn that off?" Thundercracker counter-argued, knowing that he had won when Skywarp didn't protest the ribbon being taken off. He ignored Starscream's displeased groan as he continued. "Let's go a more…subtle route with our thank yous. You know what'll happen if Megatron catches wind of your infatuation."

"Yeah, he'll run over her foot now." Starscream burst into cackling laughter, and Thundercracker just glared. "What? That's the only means of attack that he has that will actually affect her!" As if on cue, Megatron swerved out from behind his lean-to and went weaving out the door in his new little, toy go-kart. "See?"

"How sad it is that it took our leader being shrunk and unable to transform to discover the significance of having a vehicular alt-mode," Starscream taunted. "But I'm still better because of my command of the sky."

"Yes, yes, I have better things to worry over than your ego Starscream," Thundercracker sighed while keeping an eye on Skywarp. Most of the ribbon had been taken off, but the Seeker still seemed reluctant to part with the bow that was attached to his right wing. "What even possessed you to do this?"

"I figured since she gave us such thoughtful presents, I'd give her the best present I could think of." Skywarp spread his arms wide. "Me!"

His brothers gave him a "are you serious" look, and he pouted. "What?"

"You're right Thundercracker. We need to curb this obsession before it gets out of hand."

"Thank you for finally agreeing."

"Fine then—don't support me! You'll never be a part of my Seekerlets' lives." With that said, Skywarp vaulted off the washing machine to hover down and land beside Soundwave to get the telepath's opinion on a good idea for a return gift. After all, the telepath was enjoying his gift the most and was the only Decepticon Skywarp could think of that would care about etiquette like that.

Thundercracker watched Skywarp's journey and turned to address Starscream. "He _does_ know that we can't procreate with organics, right?"

"I don't know; I thought he knew the basics about that before we joined the Decepticons." A thoughtful expression spread across the tri-colored jet's face, and Thundercracker could see the scientist in Starscream that was making less and less of an appearance as their time with the Decepticons continued. "Although, that is an intriguing subject to research…"

Really? Because Thundercracker had to resist the urge to shudder in disgust just thinking about it. A being half organic and half Cybertronian? He honestly didn't like organics much to begin with, and Victoria was the only one he could tolerate at the moment and that was simply because of the amount of exposure he had had to her. The rest of them could meet a horrific end for all he cared. And _that_ was probably what made him a Decepticon despite his polite manners. But now that Skywarp was busy with Soundwave…

"Are you seriously not worried about this _thing_ Skywarp's got going on with Victoria?"

Starscream sighed and rolled over onto his back, carefully arranging his wings so that he didn't accidentally bend them the wrong way and placing his servos behind his helm. "Thundercracker, I will not discuss with you again!"

"But Starscream," the blue flier earnestly protested. "Skywarp's not treating this like a crush anymore! I didn't mind his behavior when I thought it wouldn't last longer than a few solar cycles, but now it's getting out of hand. He thinks it's actual feelings of love or whatever." He walked over to harshly poke the center of the resting Decepticon's cockpit, earning an annoyed grunt for his efforts. "He tried to get me to explain the process of creating a _spark bond_ last night!"

"I thought he knew how to do that."

"Is that the only thing you picked up from that?" Thundercracker exclaimed as he pinched the tip of Starscream's wing. The jet yelped more in surprise by the childish maneuver than pain and jumped up to inspect the pinched wing. "This is a serious matter and you're treating it like a joke!"

"Because it _is_ a joke!" Starscream screeched right back. His normally _mature_ trine mate was beginning to grind his last nerve with this particular subject. "Humans have no sparks; ergo no spark bond can be created! It's basic sparkology Thundercracker."

"And even you've confessed that the greatest minds on that subject don't know half of the mysteries of a spark."

That quickly shut the scientist up, and they briefly glared at each other before Thundercracker sighed and slumped down onto his pillow beside Starscream (Starscream was too nitpicky to allow anyone onto his pillow). "I'm sorry Star. I'm just so used to Skywarp taking femmes to his berth and kicking them out the next cycle that this whole thing with Victoria seems surreal. I mean, out of all the femmes he's ever met, he's actually considering bonding with an alien organic that we've barely known for a deca-cycle. He shouldn't even feel the urge to settle down because he's a _Decepticon."_

Starscream awkwardly patted the stressing mech on the shoulder. "There, there. Skywarp's not a little Seekerlet you have to look after."

"He always acts like one though."

"Whatever, and don't interrupt when I'm trying to comfort! It's already awkward as it is." Thundercracker nodded and remained silent as Starscream continued. "Alright, what was I going to say? Ah, yes. You're stressing out for no reason. I reiterate the point of humans not having sparks. No spark, no bond—simple as that. Even if it _was_ possible, Skywarp couldn't take a bond mate without having it approved by us to begin with. Because of the Trine bond, we would essentially be connected to whoever bond mate he takes. Not as connected as they would be to each other but pretty much—what do humans call them?—brother-in-laws. _Very _close brother-in-laws. And finally, t's none of your business who Skywarp wastes his time on! I thought you agreed to treat him like a grown mech, not a youngling who's on the very verge of getting their adult frame."

Thundercracker groaned and dropped his helm into his servos. As much as it pained him to say this (because it would make a big ego even bigger), Starscream was right. It was just…Skywarp was the first out of the three of them to even consider having such a serious relationship outside of the trine. Because trines came in threes and the Seekers within the trines were very close, it was a very testy subject of letting others into them. All of the members had to approve of the new bond, and that rarely happened with other non-trine Seekers, let alone someone outside of the Seeker build. Besides, Skywarp was the youngest, making it even touchier.

"I just don't want 'Warp to do something stupid," Thundercracker groaned, lifting his head to see that Starscream had shifted positions again and was now lying upside down with half of his frame dangling over the edge of the pillow. "It's hard enough to keep him in line with normal things. Not to mention I have to make sure you don't do something to completely slag yourself up."

"Shut up and get over it," Starscream complained, glaring as the twins ran in with the same stack of paper they had run out with earlier. "Skywarp will be his normal, dumb self when we get back to Cybertron." He transferred his glare to the other Seeker. "And what do you mean making sure I don't slag myself up? I take perfect care of myself!"

"Yeah, tell yourself that the next fight you instigate with Megatron. Who's the one that always drags you back to our room again?"

Starscream pouted as Skywarp began to plot with the twins down below, and Soundwave went back in a meditative-like state in his chair. "Whatever. But since we're asking pointless questions, where has Bonecrusher vanished off to?"

Thundercracker shrugged. At least he wasn't the only who found the Constructicon's disappearance odd. Even _Barricade_ had been confused this morning when he discovered that Bonecrusher had left the room earlier than he had, and not only was Barricade the first mech to leave every day, he was the only who could possibly have a clue as to what the tan Decepticon was doing. He had grudgingly admitted to not knowing. "I don't know. It must have something to do with the toys he refuses to let anyone touch."

Starscream grunted with disinterest and flipped around to hang off the opposite edge. They sat together in silence—each lost in their own thoughts—and only looked up when they heard Skywarp happily shout. "My decision has been made! I will continue with my original plan even if TC and 'Screamer disagree."

Thundercracker sighed as his brother rocketed out the room with the twins chasing after him on foot, their coloring pages still held high above their helms. "Am I going to follow him first or are you?" A muffled groan was his only answer as Starscream laid face down in his pillow. "Fine, but you're first next time."

**[~]**

This was not the first time Sunstreaker questioned his spark-twin's sanity. Actually, there were certain pranks that got him wondering about it from time to time. Like when Sideswipe had suggested gluing all of Ratchet's wrenches to the ceiling of the med-bay, or when he replaced Ironhide's cannons with harmless party mementoes that little mechs liked to have for their creation day celebrations, or _especially_ when he had the urge to prank someone from Special Ops (Sunstreaker vehemently refused to participate on those occasions; Special Ops tended to get aggressive when one of their own was being pranked, and he liked his finish too much to have it tarnished by their retaliations).

It had admittedly been a while since he thought to get Sideswipe psychologically tested, and it might have had something to do with the fact that his brother was muttering to himself while occasionally releasing a manic cackle. "I'm gonna regret asking this, but what the frag are you doing?"

Sideswipe immediately stopped his odd behavior and grinned up at where his twin was standing beside his crouched form. "What's up Sunshine? Finish your painting?"

Sunstreaker frowned at the nickname but allowed it to slide just this one time. "No, I'm halfway through and decided to take a break. Now answer my question."

"Only if you can keep a secret," Sideswipe giddily sang, and Sunstreaker had to wonder if Ratchet had shot him up with something. He hated it when Sideswipe was given a little too much painkiller. It had him dancing around like an idiot and trying to kiss walls.

"Whatever." Sideswipe kept his mouth firmly shut, making Sunstreaker sigh. "Fine. I swear not to tell."

"Good! So you're aware that righteous revenge is in order, correct?" Sunstreaker grunted, which Sideswipe took to mean as yes. "The first one I plan to hit will be Prowl, and I'll get Ratchet tomorrow."

"Why not both of them in one day?" the golden front-liner questioned. Normally when revenge was on the menu, depending on how many mechs it was intended for, Sideswipe would do the pranks back-to-back, some of the most ingenious pranks actually playing off of one another. The best revenge prank up to date had been against Red Alert and Ironhide. He couldn't remember specifically what had put the two officers on Sideswipe's bad side, but he'd gotten Red Alert back by blacking out all of Red's cameras, giving the mech a breakdown about being sabotaged, and on their way to the brink, Ironhide, who had been issued the privilege of escorting a "difficult" Sideswipe, had instantly been bombarded by a plethora of paint balls after knocking the door to the cells down because it was "stuck." What was really hilarious was that, after all the trouble they went through, _no one_ could pin the pranks on Sideswipe because there was no physical evidence, and that's the way Prowl convicted troublemakers. No evidence? No punishment.

"Because that's the beauty of Ratchet's prank!" Sideswipe said excitedly as he finished tracing a shape on a piece of paper before coloring it with a green crayon he had, uh, "borrowed" from the Cassettes. "He'll be expecting revenge as he soon as he sees Prowl. So instead of doing exactly what he expects me to do, I'll do the _opposite_ and do nothing!"

Sunstreaker frowned down at his brother, not because of the fact that he couldn't color within the lines but because that made absolutely no sense. "What kind of prank is that?"

"One I have not done before, which makes it more awesome." Sideswipe threw the crayon aside and picked up one end of pair of scissors almost twice his side. Sunstreaker took a step back to avoid any damage. "Ya see, Ratchet will be expecting something equally as horrible as what I do to Prowl, which will get him all up-in-arms and ready for the inevitable. The paranoia will slowly build as he starts to analyze everything I do, trying to find the hidden prank, questioning every move he makes until he's as jumpy as Red Alert!" The red Autobot cackled until he noticed his brother staring at him. "What?"

"Do you really think Ratchet will get paranoid over _you?"_

"What's that mean?"

Sunstreaker sighed at this brother's fake hurt. "The Hatchet will sooner knock you out than get worried over what you're capable of."

"It's great plan, and I'll show you," Sideswipe pouted before holding up his finished creation. "What do you think?"

Sunstreaker analyzed the crudely shaped paper, taking in the awful color and jagged edges since Sideswipe hadn't been able to cut straight. "It's the ugliest thing I've seen since your mug."

"Aw! You say the nicest things bro," Sideswipe gushed, not all deterred by mech's criticism. "Now, tell me what the others were doing before you came in here."

Sunstreaker sighed. He should have just stayed in the living room instead of following his brother's erratic insanity back to the bedroom. He was just grateful that Red Alert was too busy watching his monitor to even realize they were under the bed. "Blue, Swoop, and Laserbeak are watching some movie about trees and this orange thing that protects them; Mirage and Jazz are on the iPad; Ironhide, Optimus, and Wheeljack are outside; Ratchet's back in the kitchen; Skywarp and the Cassettes were running around doing…something while Thundercracker and Starscream followed them around. Who else? Megatron's running into walls; Ravage was chasing his yarn and growling every time Nuisance got too close to him; Barricade was stalking everyone, and I haven't seen Soundwave or Bonecrusher all day. Anything else?"

"What about Prowl?"

"He's in the base," Sunstreaker said with gesture at where the bookshelf would be if they could see it. "He's just sitting there like he's waiting for something."

Sideswipe put the paper down to grab one of the tubes of glitter glue he had gotten yesterday and began to carefully outline the edges of the white side of the paper. "How 'bout Vicky?"

Sunstreaker scowled at the brief sensation of worry from Sideswipe's side of the bond. "Where she's been for the last two megacycles."

The red prankster finally paused to look up at the yellow warrior. "You think she's okay?" Sunstreaker simply snorted, and Sideswipe glared at him. "I'm serious! She didn't look very good when she ran up the stairs earlier. What if she's sick again?"

"I don't get why you're so concerned," Sunstreaker replied with a scowl as the brief fluttering of worry (or something) came upon him. He grudgingly admitted that he didn't like the idea of the human being sick…or the possible chance of having to see her purge again. That was the grossest thing he had ever seen. "She's just a human."

"But she's the first human we've ever seen, which makes her _our _human," Sideswipe patiently argued while moving over to their pile of pranking materials to dig out a thimble. Thimbles were very effective buckets. "She's the official Autobot mascot now."

Sunstreaker shook his head and watched his brother squirt the majority of the glue into the thimble. "Rumor has it Victoria's got her own faction going on now."

"She's just in denial! She's an Autobot at, uh, heart. That's what the humans say, right?"

The yellow twin rolled his optics at his brother's stupidity. She also had the temper of a 'Con, but who was he to make judgments like that? "Whatever. I haven't bothered to climb the stairs, so I don't know what she's doing. And you never told me what _you_ were doing."

"I didn't?" Sideswipe said, effectively being maneuvered to another topic. "Oh yeah! This is Prowl's prank."

Sunstreaker stared then eventually glared as Sideswipe went back to preparing without further explanation. "And?"

"Oh! You remember that movie that Victoria really liked?"

"The one that made her cry because the guy's love interest died and it shows him four years later trying to become a doctor?"

"No, this one was animated."

Sunstreaker huffed as Sideswipe made him work for the answer. Wouldn't it have just been simpler to just tell him instead of playing a guessing game? "There are three that she likes. The one with the orange fish, the one about the femme with long hair, and—" Sunstreaker's optics brightened, and Sideswipe gave him a devilish grin. "Really?"

"Why not? Prowlie's got the wings—now he just needs the glitter and dress."

Sunstreaker smirked as his brother wiggled the "dress" in front of him. Oh, there was _no _way Sideswipe was doing this prank without him.

**[~]**

Victoria glared at her phone as she fought the impulse to throw it at the nearest wall. Instead, she gently placed it beside her and continued digging through the box she had found under her brother's bed. The one and only time the technology gave her trouble and it was the _one_ time she actually needed it. Why couldn't it have dropped the million pointless calls from her boss? Her fuming was cut short as the generic ringtone blared, and she snatched it back up. "How can you possibly be going through so many dead zones?"

"I don't know," Drew answered on the other end of the line. "Maybe it's because we're in the freaking middle of _nowhere_." There was the muffled voice of someone in the background, and Drew sighed. "Or maybe because Nicholas cursed me for stealing 'his girl.'"

"Tell him I hate possessive men," Victoria said in a bored tone. After all, it was the third time Nicholas had "cursed" their phone call. "And tell your other friend to stop driving through dead zones."

"He won't listen!" Drew whined, and she heard a snapped comment from the driver on his end. "He's still convinced that it's faster to get back to California through deserted country than the interstate. I told him if he picked up a hitchhiker, I was personally going to see to his demise."

"Hear, hear!" Nicholas loudly yelled after his statement, and it was the first thing he had said that Victoria could actually make out.

She sighed. Drew's humor was nice and all, but that didn't deter her from the original purpose of her call. At this moment, Victoria was very hesitant about what plan of action she was going to take. She had been playing with the idea of going back with the mechs ever since Drew brought it up two days ago during his visit. Of course, she had never really considered it a realistic option! It was just a fancy idea because, really, why would either the Autobots or the Decepticons want to take a human back to their home? She couldn't do anything for them when their sizes were reversed.

Which was why Optimus' suggestion had shocked her into silence. It was one thing to hear Sideswipe jokingly talk about taking her back, but it held a totally different meaning to hear it from the Autobot leader. A simple daydream was suddenly turned into a possibility, and it was not nearly as easy for her to make a decision as she had initially thought it would be.

After speaking with Optimus, Victoria had retreated back to her brother's room, thinking that she would find something there to help her make a decision. It hadn't. All she found was that Eric's obsession with Transformers had not wavered over the years. He must have put the 'Bots and 'Cons running around the house in storage to keep them safe because she was finding all kinds of Transformers toys throughout the room. Most of them were still packaged, like vintage toys that were obviously more like collectables than playthings, while others were free and hiding in the weirdest places. She was very intrigued to find Kreon versions of Optimus, the Seekers, Sideswipe, Ratchet, Soundwave, Mirage, Prowl, Jazz, and a few others she wasn't able to identify and wondered why they hadn't been stuck in the little bodies like Megatron.

The woman was now going through a box of books that were hidden under the bed, pulling out another toy that looked like a younger, fiercer Wheeljack and gently placing it with the other toys she had found throughout her search. "What were you saying before the call was dropped?"

"Other than telling Nicholas to _stop touching me!" _Drew yelled, and Victoria had to pull her phone away. A scuffle ensued on the other end until Drew finally returned to the phone. "We were going over pros and cons, preferably pros first please."

Victoria smiled at his manners. "I stay with the 'Bots."

"Visit a new planet."

"Meet some of the Autobots that the others have mentioned."

"Oh! No taxes to pay."

"Not have to worry about my jerk of a boss."

"Not have to worry about a job really. Wait, can that go into the previous two?"

Victoria sighed. There was a bunch of "good" things they could come up with. But sometimes the good didn't matter when you weighed the bad. "Let's do cons."

"Aw, I was just getting into it."

The woman scratched her head as she picked up a book titled _Pride and Prejudice._ When did her brother become interested in classic literature? "I have to go over both sides of the argument."

"College grad," Drew distastefully muttered, making her smirk. "Fine. One can be that you'll be the only human."

Victoria frowned at that. "I'll leave my dad behind."

"Uh…food? But I can't see them suggesting taking you back without considering stuff like that. I bet they already have a plan on how to provide you essentials and stuff. You know other than leaving people behind there's not much left. I mean, you're not very social if some of the awkward conversations we had say anything." Drew paused. "Hey, are you still there? I didn't offend you, did I?"

"What about war?" Victoria asked as she picked up what had caught her attention. She flipped the comic book open and frowned at the first page it landed on. "The Autobots and Decepticons are in the middle of a civil war that will—if everything I've read is true—eventually move to Earth. Obviously, that won't happen here but there…"

The phone buzzed as Drew hummed. "That is a big problem. But you've been dealing with their fighting the whole time they've been there. Will it be any different there than it is here?"

"Uh, yeah!" Victoria claimed, flipping through more comics and only pausing once or twice at familiar faces. "I won't be the biggest one anymore! At least here I can physically separate them. On Cybertron, I'll most likely be the one being moved around." She aggressively closed the thin book and tossed it back into the box. "I don't want to get dragged into their battles."

It was quiet on the other end, not even a sound from the companions Drew was riding with. Victoria took the time to put everything back in the box and shove it back under the bed. She didn't want to look at the mechs she knew trying to kill each other. It was a small blessing that they didn't act like that around her. "Victoria, it's not like they're going to put you on the front lines."

"But I'll still see it!" she said vehemently as she pulled her legs up to her chest and placed her forehead on the top of her knees. "I'll have to see them die!"

"Everyone dies at some point," Drew said softly. "If they die fighting for what they believe in…it's better than just being walked on because you were too scared to speak up." He sighed. "Look, I saw the way they interacted with you, and I doubt they would intentionally make you watch that. If anything they'll probably shelter you from it, and they must feel confident in their abilities if they're considering letting you go with them. Have you thought about that? Pros and cons aside, they just wanna make sure you're taken care of when they leave."

"They've only known me for barely a month," she muttered mostly to herself. "Why would they care?"

"Some people are just like that. Instant connections and all that stuff. I've only known you for three days and worry about you."

"Oh, and why's that?" Victoria questioned as she stretched back out. She would be mildly offended if he insinuated it had something to do with her being a _girl._ Scratch that—she would _greatly_ offended, especially considering the fact that she was older than he was.

"'Cause some people just need others to," he stated with little inflection in his voice. "They get caught up in what's going on around them that they neglect to put their needs and wants first. You're really good at dancing around making a decision, but tell me this: what was the first thing that came to mind when Optimus proposed the idea?" He stopped to let her answer, but Victoria was more interested in playing with a frayed string on the end of her blue jeans. He sighed. "Odds are that's the answer you're looking for. Sometimes the first thing that comes to mind is the best decision to make."

"How did you decide?" Victoria finally asked, and Drew snorted. "Hey! It's a viable question."

"I didn't decide anything; I got dragged into it by the sociopath I happen to be friends with. And you can't use my experiences to make your decision. This is about what _you_ want."

Victoria sighed. "Well thanks for talking with me. I'm sure the last three hours of static, dropped calls, and phone tag have been entertaining."

"Hey, I'm stuck in a little car with two kids who don't know when to stop slapping each other over the last cookie." Offended "heys" could be heard in the background. "I hope it helped!"

"Yeah, it did. A little."

A brief moment of silence ensued before Drew broke it with a resigned sigh. "I'm not gonna hear from you again, am I?"

Victoria picked at the carpet beneath her. "Don't be so sure of that."

"I don't think you're gonna have much of a choice," he said cryptically before his voice brightened. "Well, I gotta go! My cell's battery isn't gonna hang on for much longer, and jerk-face in the front seat refuses to let me charge it. He's saying something about actively supporting his curse."

The woman chuckled at his happy-go-lucky tone. "Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"We'll see!"

Victoria frowned as the call ended. She couldn't exactly say why but hearing Drew sound so sure of her leaving just rubbed her the wrong way. It was like it was never really her decision to begin with. But fraggit, if she was going to another planet it sure as hell was going to be because _she_ wanted to, not because it was what everyone thought was best for her.

With that thought, Victoria stood up, wiping the invisible dust from her rear before leaving the room. From the corner of her eye, she watched a figure duck back down behind the nightstand he had been hiding behind for the last hour, but Bonecrusher's weird behavior was really the last thing on her mind at the moment. She hurried down the stairs and headed to the backyard where she assumed both Ironhide and Optimus would be located, vaguely noting the fact that Sideswipe and Sunstreaker ran past her from the direction of her bedroom and ducked into the kitchen. She waved when Bluestreak hollered her name from the couch but otherwise ignored the room's occupants as she stepped outside.

Ironhide was standing at the ready on the rail of the porch, aiming at the little pots scattered around the backyard. Optimus stood below him on the lawn chair and was the only one of the two who noticed the woman stepping out onto the back porch with them. "Hello."

Ironhide swore as he shot went wide, and he turned to glare at his commander. "Just 'cause you're losin' don't mean ya can throw my concentration!"

"Looks as if you're getting a little rusty," Optimus teased, making Victoria pause. She had never seen him joke before and hadn't really thought he was capable of it. He just seemed too much like the serious type to her. "Your skill is more impressive when there is a battle raging around you."

"That's 'cause these pots aint much of a challenge," Ironhide huffed and briefly glared at the human. She was the ultimate cause of his misfire.

"I'm ahead on the scoreboard."

The weapons mech grunted and turned back to face the backyard. "Lucky shots…"

As Ironhide went back to shooting, Optimus turned to Victoria. "Have you made you decision?"

The woman nodded and hesitated, watching Ironhide shoot for a brief distraction, before saying, "I…do not wish to go to Cybertron."

Optimus slowly nodded, and Ironhide missed another easy shot as he whipped his helm around to stare at her with surprise. "So be it. I will not force you to do something you clearly do not wish to." He noted the slight flinch his words evoked from the woman. "I will inform the others of your final choice. It surprises me that Jazz was the one who suggested—"

"Jazz suggested this to begin with?" she interrupted him, causing him to tilt his slightly helm. "That's it, he's gotta stop poking his nose in things! If I had wanted to go, I would have said something. I'm going to go talk to him this instant."

Victoria whirled around and stormed back into the house, leaving behind two slightly confused Autobots. Ironhide was the first to speak, and he started off with a sigh. "She's in for a surprise when she hears who really suggested the idea. And she was pretty eager to get away, wasn't she?" Optimus nodded, still staring into the house as Victoria crossed over into the kitchen where Jazz was. "Ya reckon that was _really_ what she wanted?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me," Prime said as he turned back to his old friend. "We were forewarned that she would be difficult."

Ironhide snorted and went back to shooting pots. "Wonder what she would say if we told her she was too predictive."

Optimus shook his head. All of this was completely out of his hands, and he hoped Victoria would give them an honest answer before it was too late.

Meanwhile, Victoria was trying to angrily glare down at a certain saboteur, but it was hard to do that when he was grinning back up at her covered head to toe with whip cream. "What are you doing?"

"You were takin' too long, so Ah decided ta start without ya." He showcased the mess beside him with a jaunty wave of his hands. "Ta da!"

She frowned and glared before sighing. "Alright, I'll bite. What is it?"

"A gingerbread house! Granted it's a li'l unstable." One of the pieces for the roof collapsed, but he didn't stop smiling. "But Ah think it's a beaut!"

The woman's glare faltered as the rest of structure collapsed on the few pieces of gummy candy Jazz had found only God knows where. "Jazz, those are graham crackers with whip cream along the edges and gumdrops surrounding it."

"And it's beautiful," he bragged, not seeing a problem with the fact that the house was no longer really a house. "Grapple would be so jealous o' my work."

She shook her head and got back to the reason she was looking for him to begin with. "You're the one that suggested taking me back to Cybertron."

"Now hold up—"

"No," she denied and poked a finger at the now frowning mech. "I didn't have much of a problem after the whole Drew thing, and I don't mind you poking around in my personal belongings since you don't damage anything and put it back where you found it. But you're nosiness is beginning to get on my last nerves. If I wanted to go with you guys, I would have said something. And I don't appreciate how you guys make decisions like that behind my back. It's like you guys have really already decided what's going to happen and just need a formal acknowledgement. Well, I'll have you know that I'm _not _going."

Victoria crossed her arms across her chest, staring down at the black and white mech. He waited for a moment before shrugging. "Ya done?" Slightly puzzled by his blasé tone after being told off, she hesitantly nodded. "Good. Now what's da sayin' ya humans got? "Assume" makes an ass outta you and me? Highly appropriate for this situation, sweetspark. Ah wasn't da one who suggested ya get zapped ta Cybertron. In fact, Ah'm one o' da only two who voted _not to."_ He noted her surprise with a tiny smirk. "Surprised? Maybe next time ya won't jump ta conclusions."

Victoria felt her face heat up with shame and avoided eye contact with the mech. "Sorry. I guess I had already decided that you were the one who brought the subject up and only hearing half of what Optimus had to say just set me off."

Jazz went from frowning to smiling in two seconds flat. "S'all right. Ya got reason ta be suspicious." His smile faltered a little. "Ah don't like da idea o' you goin' back ta Cybertron. Ah really don't think ya'd be able ta handle it. Prowler made a lotta points on how ya could adapt, but Ah'm more worried 'bout the psychological bit than da physical stuff. Ah've seen what war can do ta da best o' bots."

The woman vaguely nodded before perking back up. "Wait a minute…_Prowl's_ the one who suggested this?"

The saboteur shrugged. "Yeah, not surprisin' really. The way he mapped it out last night—it's one o' da most logical decisions he could come up with."

"Prowl," she repeated with surprise. Out of all the officers, he was the _last _one she would have guessed. "Well…I guess I'll go talk to him."

"Have fun!" Jazz said happily as she turned to leave. "Ah think he's been waitin' all day fo' ya."

Victoria shook her head and headed to the bedroom. She still didn't get why Prowl wanted her to go with them. They had no real connection to each other. She felt like she had a better relationship with Optimus, the one mech she had avoided the first half of their stay, than she did with the SIC. Jazz had said it had something to doing with being logical, so maybe that was the whole reason. Not that she personally saw the logic that Prowl supposedly did.

She stepped around the little group of Seekers hissing at each in the hall and barely noticed when Frenzy tried to stop her as she stepped into the bedroom and shut the door. Red Alert looked up from his monitor to briefly note her appearance and pointed over at the bookshelf before returning to his current pastime. Victoria got the signal and turned to where he had pointed without question. She blinked at what she saw. "What—"

"Do _not_ say a word," Prowl growled, door-wings flickering with barely veiled agitation. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker will soon be properly punished."

Victoria blankly stared at him as she knelt down in front of the shelf. Prowl glared back before softening his stance and allowing a more professional air to fall on them. It was still hard for her not to laugh. "This is not exactly how I wished to start this conversation, but it seems I am not left with much of a choice."

"Can I just say one thing?" she asked, finally breaking her attempts to not laugh with a stifled giggle. Prowl sighed and nodded, knowing nothing important would be said until she got what she needed to off her chest. "You make a very pretty fairy."

"Is that it?"

"I can see Tinkerbell being very jealous of you."

The Praxian glared once more, glitter covered door-wings fluttering with barely restrained annoyance. "Now?"

"That…dress is very slimming. Sideswipe has great tastes."

"Is there anything else you would like to point out?"

"Nope, that's it."

"Good. I'm already aware of why you're here, so we can skip right to the main point. I was the one who said you should be brought back to Cybertron."

Victoria glared. So, they _hadn't_ been really giving her a choice. "I was told that it was merely a _suggestion."_

"Jazz is the one who convinced the others to give you a choice. I simply find it inevitable that you will decide yes."

"Well, I've got news for you," she said, pointing a finger at him. "I told Optimus that I was staying right here, and nothing you say can make me change my mind."

Prowl tilted his head slightly, his door kibble methodically rotating behind him. "Oh really? On what grounds did you base your final decision?"

Victoria frowned. No one was supposed to ask her to explain her choice. It was a simple yes or no—no questions needed. "Well…for one, I don't even think I would be able to live on a planet billions of miles from this one. What if there's not enough oxygen in the air? I could suffocate the moment I stepped foot on your ground."

"Perceptor, a scientist who has worked beside both Wheeljack and Ratchet many times, once ran a test on the compounds that comprise the atmosphere of our planet. Ratchet kept those results on file and has confirmed that the atmosphere of our planet is similar to this one, with one or two minor differences that would not be detrimental to your health. Problem solved. Is there anything else?"

Her frown deepened. Fine, the planets had almost identical atmospheres. How about this? "What about food, clothing, and water? I absolutely _need_ that stuff to survive, and what are the odds of your planet being able to provide all of those things? Last I was told, you guys lived off of just Energon."

"Admittedly, Cybertron does not _naturally_ provide those needs, but Ratchet has analyzed enough of the food substances you have provided us during our stay and with the help of both Wheeljack and Perceptor, he could create a synthetic substance that would provide you with a near perfect diet. Water is no issue, seeing as there is plenty of that created as a byproduct from a number of processes that make our lives simpler and is actually _much_ purer than what you consume from the faucet, and clothing can be just as easily provided through other simple methods. Is that all of your main concerns?"

Victoria almost growled, but she contained it at the last second. "What about my dad? My job? How long will it take before I go insane from not interacting with my own kind? I would have nothing in common with the mechs on Cybertron, and interaction is another requirement for humans even though it may not seem like it. It's not like you guys will be available at every moment of the day to fulfill that requirement."

"You have openly confessed to being separated from your paternal unit for a number of years, and though I understand your need to reconnect with him, it is my belief that leaving him behind will not inhibit you as much as you might like to argue it would. I also believe that leaving your job behind will be more of a blessing to you than a consequence. Jazz was required to give us a thorough report of your trip, and he described your work environment and the dramatic change in your attitude. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker supported his report by stating that you are not on friendly terms with you co-workers.

"On the subject of social interactions, I fear you may be underestimating yourself. I do not believe that adapting to the new mechs you encounter will be much of a challenge for you. You have already proven that your adaptability is almost on par with Jazz, which is one of the abilities that make him a natural Special Ops. For example, on day two of our arrival instead of sitting back and watching, you engaged yourself in the situation and easily established your position. Once you find your bearings on Cybertron, interacting with the other Autobots as you do with us will be simple, and you have lived with us without showing any need to interact with another human. I could easily name a couple of 'Bots that I believe you would have the most likely chance of getting along with effortlessly."

Victoria felt the undeniable urge to smack her head against the bookshelf she sat in front of. This mech could just not take "no" for an answer, could he? When she didn't immediately voice another protest, Prowl straightened and asked, "May I say my part now?" Victoria grudgingly nodded and sat back to listen to him.

"I would not have brought this idea to Optimus if I had not thoroughly analyzed the situation and its potential outcomes," Prowl continued monotonously after making sure the woman was listening to him. "As I have mentioned, your organic needs have been considered and the solutions have been evaluated." He paused to glance up at her meaningfully. "You are miserable with your current lifestyle—don't deny it. Jazz and the Twins saw it clearly. It is also worth mentioning that in the short time we have been here, you have managed to create some type of bond with certain members of our ranks. Based on that simple fact alone, the next logical step is for you to accompany us back."

Prowl stopped as he noticed her confusion and frowned. He sometimes forgot that Victoria was not nearly as versed with the Cybertronian framework as Ratchet had become with the human anatomy. "Once a bond is formed, it is not an easy process to break it. Ratchet is not fully aware of how it was done, and we can only assume that the major factor of its creation is that you are the first human our race has ever encountered, seeing as there is no mention of humans within the text of our planet's history. Personal feelings have somehow stimulated the growth of them, and the fact that the Decepticons are in such close proximity has most likely spurred some of the development."

What the SIC neglected to mention were the names of the mechs who had formed those bonds. Bluestreak and Swoop were easy to guess because of how close they had gotten to the woman. Sideswipe was perhaps not as easy, but he _had _gained an interest in her, stating once or twice that she was their "mascot" and going to sometime extreme lengths to keep Skywarp away from her. It was hard to believe that Sunstreaker was another, but that may have been influenced by his brother. Ratchet had confirmed all four of these bonds after their last check-up and had brought the findings to him and Prime.

Another point he chose to not elaborate on was the true severity of such a connection. As he had told her, once a bond was formed it was not easily broken, which was the reason why his race went to great lengths to be absolutely, _positively_ certain that the mech or femme they wished to take as a bond mate was the One (as cliché as that might sound). Even if that wasn't the necessary goal between a pair, no type of bond was to be treated lightly. Bonds that were created the moment of creation, such as a bond between a creator and creation or sibling bonds, were considered the weakest but still nigh impossible to break without some sort of backlash.

Whatever bond had been created with the human and its exact form of origin was a complete mystery to Ratchet. As a medic, he was required to know the basics of bonds, but he wasn't a specialist on bond forming. The only thing he could confirm was that the four mechs' bonds were a mutation between what appeared to be a sibling and Guardian bond: Swoop's seeming more like a sibling bond while Bluestreak and Sideswipe hovered somewhere between sibling and Guardian, and Sunstreaker's exhibited more of the Guardian quality. Yet, none of them were _completely _one or the other. He was stumped by the new medical phenomenon and had even ventured to ask Wheeljack for his opinion, which was desperate considering the fact that the engineer probably knew half as much as Ratchet did on the subject.

That being said, because of the lack of knowledge, Prowl didn't know how the breaking of those bonds would affect both parties. Depending on the type of bond being broken, symptoms could range from merely being aware of the bond dissolving to the complete lack of motivation to continue living without that other's presence. The last thing any of the Autobots needed or wanted was to lose a companion because they underestimated this new type of spark connection.

Victoria sighed and rubbed her forehead while regaining the attention of the mech. "And what about the war that's ravaging your planet? Are the Autobots going to lock me away? Keep me away from the Decepticons and Autobots killing each other?"

There it was: an annoyed door-wing twitch. Prowl was getting irritated with the fact that she kept fighting with him, and she was feeling perversely pleased that she was finally getting under that thick armor of his. He couldn't have an answer for _everything._

"I believe that you could be used as an asset." The small smirk that had been twitching at the human's lips slipped away. "There is little point in shielding you from a war you are fully aware of. Wheeljack has confided that while you may not be very knowledgeable on the subject, you could easily be trained to be an engineer of sorts, or a simple mechanic in the least. If you wish to not partake in the war, as you have done here, then you can remain your own party. You would be free to roam around the base and its surrounding environment if you wish; we will not keep you locked in a room if that is one of your worries, but we will ensure your safety."

Victoria slouched before him and aggravatingly rubbed her temple as a headache began to form. She was beginning to become annoyed with the fact that Prowl was shooting down each of her concerns with innate calmness and really only leaving her one choice. And it wasn't the one she had originally decided on. She didn't like the thought of being manipulated into what he wanted. "Why can't you just accept my no and move on?"

"Because you have yet to give me a valid reasoning behind your answer that I have assured you will be taken care of."

"Maybe I just don't want to go because I'm content to stay here!" Victoria finally snapped, losing her cool as annoyance finally took over.

Prowl's disappointed frown made her flinch. "Are you under the belief that if you say a lie enough times it will make it true? If so, then there is no point in continuing this conversation. You will stay here after we leave and forget we even exist. You will go back to your old life where your abilities are underappreciated and you are walked all over by those who believe they are better, a fact you know is not true yet have no will to correct it. A few lengthy conversations with your sire will never restore the relationship you previously had with him, and you will always wonder what would have happened if you had accepted our invitation. Now, I believe you have a few more boxes to rifle through before you can put this experience behind you, so I suggest you get to it. The sooner you are through, the better. After all, that is something you have said on several occasions since we have arrived and there is no point in fostering the friendships you have made with us."

The Praxian allowed his wings to flick in what was a rude dismissal and turned away. He didn't watch as Victoria stood and staggered out of the room and only allowed his tense frame to relax when the door had shut. He sighed and gently messaged his chevron. Well, that had certainly not gone the way he wanted it to.

"That was pretty harsh, even coming from you." Prowl looked up to see that Red Alert had actually abandoned his screen and was currently standing next to him, though he was staring at the door Victoria had exited through. "Was that really necessary?"

Prowl straightened with a nod. "It may have taken some harsh words, but I believe what Victoria has tried hard to deny has finally been brought to the surface."

Red Alert frowned. "This isn't just an attempt to guilt her into coming is it? Because I was against letting her come to begin with, but I'm _really _against it now."

Prowl matched the SD's frown. "Of course it is not. I am not beyond manipulation when I believe it is necessary, but everything I stated is simply fact. She cannot make a proper decision if she refuses to fully accept the truth of things."

Red Alert stared at the black and white mech, who didn't so much as twitch under observation, and finally huffed. "I still don't like this. Do you realize how many safety protocols would need to be revised with a human running around base?"

"Many," Prowl replied with all seriousness and fought not to smirk as Red Alert balefully glared at him. "Perhaps you could start now with all the free time you have acquired."

"At least I don't look like a fantasy creature from a kid's movie."

Prowl glared as Red Alert retreated back to his monitor. His glitter covered wings twitched. The Twins were not getting off easy this time. Prowl did not appreciate roleplaying as Tinkerbell.

**[~]**

Victoria was unaware of how long she sat outside the door to her bedroom, curled up in a ball with her face buried in her knees. Prowl's words had hit home in perhaps what was the harshest way possible. He had basically summarized everything that had been bothering her for a while but had been effectively shoved to some dark corner in her mind. She never wanted to dwell on those subjects because they conjured up a lot of what ifs, which led to the ways she could have stopped it all from happening to begin with, which made her wonder if the path she had chosen for her life to take was truly the best for her. She had needed someone like Drew or _Eric_, someone who worried about her, a _long_ time ago.

She breathed in deeply before lifting her head and rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. She hadn't been crying, but it sure felt like tears weren't far off, and it made her feel like a complete idiot for getting so emotional about something so simple. She sniffed and opened her eyes just in time to see a familiar frame duck into the closet a little way away from her.

Instinct drove her to her feet, and Victoria walked the short distance to the closet. Bonecrusher had been following her all day, and she had dismissed it as nothing, but what if the mech needed something? Maybe he was just too proud to admit it out loud or ask. Maybe he thought he could do it on his own, with no one's help. She had thought that and looked where it got her.

Bonecrusher had nowhere to flee as Victoria stepped into the enclosed space and knelt down in front of him. "What's wrong Bonecrusher? You've been following me all day. Do you need something?"

The Decepticon looked up at her with confused red optics, and the woman realized that it was the first time she had ever seen him show another emotion other than anger. "Why did you do it? Did you do it to throw me off balance? Make me fawn over you like those slagging soft-sparked Autobots do? Or is some kind of blackmail?"

Victoria blinked with surprise. "What?"

"The toys!" he exclaimed, familiar anger surfacing to mingle with the confusion. "The ones that look like my gestalt mates! You even got their names right."

She knew what he was talking about now. The gift she had given him. "I did some research on you guys and found out that you were part of a subcategory of Decepticons called the Constructicons. I read up on the combiners and figured that if you connected to someone in such a personal way that they must have meant something to you. I thought you would miss them like Swoop does the other Dinobots and got you construction toys as a way to remind you of them. Do you not like them?"

Bonecrusher's optics blinked and he relaxed to a certain degree before tensing back up, his claw snapping in defiance. "I'm not falling for this, this, trap or whatever it is you got planned! If you think you can use my connection with my fellow Constructicons as blackmail, then you can think again _human!" _Victoria blinked at how Bonecrusher had spat the last word like some kind of curse. "I'm not joining your little 'Bot harem." She silently repeated those last two words with a look of utter bewilderment. "If you think you can control me like however you do with Skywarp, then you better think again!"

"Whoa, whoa!" the woman exclaimed, waving her hands to stop him before his rant became unstoppable. "Okay, nothing I gave you was meant to be blackmail or whatever you think it is. Like I said, I saw how being away from the other Dinobots affected Swoop and assumed that it might have been just as hard for you and the Constructicons. I do _not_ have a harem of Autobots, and if you can tell me what happened to Skywarp, I would be very pleased to hear it!" She stopped to modulate her voice as it had been slowly rising in volume. "Look, if you don't want the toys—"

"No!" he cut her off and slightly shuffled on his pedes after the outburst. "Just know that I'm not falling for any of you tricks!" The bulldozer to mine-clearing vehicle sidled past her until he stood in the entrance of the closet. "And, uh…thank you."

Victoria slightly smiled as Bonecrusher skated away, his quickly muttered words almost being missed. So, it hadn't been as detrimental as she had worked herself up to believing, but at least she had helped. She sighed and left the closet. Maybe she could find a movie to watch with Swoop and Bluestreak. Honestly, she didn't feel like doing anything else today.

"Victoria, there you are!" Victoria looked up to see Skywarp hovering in front of her face and blinked to make sure she was really seeing a bow stuck to the front of his wing. "I've been looking all over for you. I got you a return gift!"

"You didn't have to Skywarp," she said, drawing a fairly accurate conclusion. She was pretty sure Skywarp didn't put that bow on his wing to make a fashion statement.

"Of course I did because that's the _polite_ thing to do and all." He spread his arms out dramatically to announce his gift when something connected with the back of his head. "Hey! What was that?"

"See Sunny? I told you gumdrops were good for something."

Sunstreaker just snorted as Skywarp spun around to glare at them. Sideswipe grinned and took a couple of steps back before bouncing forward to kick the next gumdrop in line. "Fore!" Skywarp ducked and the candy went right between his raised wings. "Touchdown!"

Skywarp growled and dove for them. "That's it! I'm not taking crap from you fraggers anymore!"

Sideswipe snickered and grabbed his improvised game devices and dashed down the hallway with Sunstreaker beside him and Skywarp on their tail. Victoria shook her head but couldn't help the small smile that flickered across her face. She was actually starting to feel bad for the Seeker, trying so hard to gain her affections and being cut off every time by the same two mechs.

"Hey, now that Romeo's gone, ya gonna pay attention to us?"

The human looked down to see Frenzy and Rumble standing beside her feet, color pages sitting between them. "Sorry. Do you two need something?"

"Not really," Rumble confessed as he and his brother picked up opposite edges of the paper. "The boss told us we had to get you something for what you got us. So me, Frenzy, Beaky, and Ravage decided to let you have our best pictures. Well, Ravage and Laserbeak didn't color 'em, but they told us what colors to use and we did it for them."

Victoria bent down to collect the four different pages and smiled. Every page looked as if a young child had done them, but the twins looked very proud of their accomplishment. "Thank you very much."

"Whatever," Frenzy said almost shyly and looking away. "It's not something to get all mushy over."

Her smile grew. "Do you two want to come watch a movie with me, Swoop, and Bluestreak? Swoop's been wanting to watch the Pixar movie with the little robot in it."

Both Cassettes shrugged and followed her to the living room, clicking in their language and shoving each other all the way there. Victoria took a brief moment to wonder if she had made the right decision on not going to Cybertron before dismissing it. She could think about it some other time.

**[~]**

"Fragging Auto-losers," Skywarp griped as he stomped into the utility room later that night. He aggressively flicked his wings at Barricade, who glared back. "Next time they pull a move like that, I'm ripping their fragging sparks out!"

"I take that to mean you're still a Decepticon, Skywarp."

Skywarp stopped as he finally noticed his fellow 'Cons roughly standing in a circle with Megatron and his new kart in the center of it. Starscream stood to the right side of Megatron and glared meaningfully at his trine mate. The younger Seeker shrugged. "Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Yes, what a wonderful question you pose." Megatron stared hard at him. "What is this attempt at being with the _human_ that I have been informed of?"

At first, Skywarp glared at Thundercracker, who was off to the side with Ravage sitting beside him. Both of his trine mates assured him through the bond that they had not squealed his secret. Why would they when it might have meant the termination of their brother? His next glare was aimed at Soundwave, and he was shocked to see the TIC minutely shake his head. So, it wasn't Soundwave or his Cassettes. Which only left Barricade because Bonecrusher didn't care enough to go running to Megatron with the latest gossip. And the scout wasn't looking very remorseful as he glared back.

"I assure you Lord Megatron," Starscream screeched, gaining the leader's attention long enough for Skywarp to rudely fling his wings at Barricade. Take that fragger! "None of my trine would ever lower themselves to such filth."

Megatron didn't seem very inclined to argue the subject as he treated each Seeker with the same glare before addressing the group as a whole. "It has come to my attention that even with specific assignments some of you have been severely slacking off." He sent a brief glare Soundwave's way, surprising everyone in the group. Soundwave was the golden boy and _never_ got in to trouble. "A point proven by the fact that _some_ do not even feel inclined to join us for a mandatory meeting."

Skywarp finally noticed that Rumble, Frenzy, and Laserbeak were nowhere in sight. The twins must still be watching that movie, and Laserbeak was most often found at the side of that Dinobot nowadays. No wonder Soundwave was receiving a reproachful glare.

Megatron jumped off of his kart to stalk around the circle, glaring at everyone individually. "Since there is no new information to report, I can only assume that we have gathered all of the intelligence we possibly can." He stopped once he had made a full rotation. "I did my own little recon exercise today and discovered that the inventor has finished his device and has actually been finished for quite some time now." He glared at Starscream, as it had been the SIC's responsibility to inform their leader once the invention was done. Starscream scowled back. "There is no reason for us to remain here."

"What exactly are you implying, Lord Megatron?" Thundercracker asked, though Skywarp knew that the question wasn't needed. Everyone in the room had already come to the same conclusion.

Megatron smirked. "Tomorrow, we will relieve the Autobots of their device and begin our plan for total domination: one dimension at a time."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Hope none of ya'll forgot Megatron's plan. He didn't ;) And Prowl was a freakin' jerk…I loved it :D Seriously, it was my favorite part to write this whole chapter. And of course Victoria is going to have reservations about being taken to Cybertron. One, she isn't a little fangirl/boy who would jump at the chance of staying with the 'formers, and two, you may have noticed it with the way she acted, but she felt like she didn't really have a choice to begin with, which made her angry. The bonds will be brought up again, maybe not as much in the little bit I have left planned for this story, but the _sequel_ (yes, you read right; I'm already planning a sequel to this) will most likely go into further depth about them. Just be aware that none of them have _any_ idea of what's going on with them. Like Thundercracker said to Starscream, not even experts on sparks know _exactly _how a spark works, bonds included.

That being said, I think there's…two chapters left of this? Maybe? I can't make it any longer without dragging it out too much and making it boring…and running out of ideas. Plus, the month time period for the story is almost up :) But right now, I _really_ wanna buy Fall of Cybertron and win it epically :3 (and find the dancing lever Easter Egg)

Pray that I won't get blown away by Isaac :D (wait...should I put a smiley face with that? o_O)

**EDITED: 4/9/2014**


	23. Decepticons on the Move

_"Thinking"  
>:Com Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

_Stellar cycle: ~7.5 months  
>Solar cycle: 1 day<br>Nano-klik (klick): ~1 second  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<em>

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Twenty Two

Decepticons on the Move

* * *

><p><strong>Day 27<strong>

If there was one thing Jazz liked to brag about, it was his immense collection of music. He loved it, no matter what genre it was. Techno, rock, classic, the easiest translation of his Cybertronian name— there was no rhythm he had ever encountered that he did not like. What did his love for music have to do with the situation at hand? Absolutely nothing, but if he was being truthful, it _was_ the one thing he loved to brag about the most.

The second thing he would find worth bragging about was his immense patience. It rivaled that of Prowl and Prime and was one of the reasons he was so good at his job. There were numerous occasions where Special Ops required a mech to go deep undercover or stealthily infiltrate the enemy's domain, and if an agent acted too quickly it could not only throw the entire mission, but they could lose their lives and possibly endanger their allies. Of course, there were other times where speed was of the essence, but most of the time it was waiting for the right moment.

Jazz himself had once gone undercover for a full stellar cycle and a half, gathering valuable intel and waiting for the opportune moment to split. His patience had awarded him with the location of several hidden Decepticon bases, the identities of three double agents, and the bragging rights for sabotaging right under Megatron's nose.

Megatron _still_ didn't know that the impressive mech who had been rising within the Decepticon ranks so quickly and then perished during a devastating battle with the Autobots had been Jazz. And the fight had been a cover-up for him returning to where his loyalties really lie. Because honestly? Decepticon benefits weren't nearly as good as the stuff the Autobots offered and were definitely not worth the amount of backstabbing to get to.

But he was getting off subject. The point was there was rarely anything that required any kind of patience that Jazz wasn't able to breeze through without a smile even if he was inwardly cursing the 'bot standing in front of him. Then again, none of those instances involved the constant hum of Red Alert in his audial.

_:This is why we have certain protocols,: _Red Alert griped from his end, and Jazz slightly winced at the small burst of static. He'd have to get Ratchet to look in on that. _:If you are unable to tend to your patrol you _tell_ someone. It's as simple as that! You don't just vanish into thin air! How are we supposed to know that you're not currently having your processor picked over by a Decepticon? Huh? We don't! And we have four mechs missing. Four! This is why Victoria should have installed more cameras.:_

Jazz's moan was a complete contradiction to the way he be-bopped up the stairs as the latest of his human music obsession played on a constant loop in his helm. It wasn't enough to make up for Red Alert though. _:C'mon Red! Can't ya be happy with whatcha got?:_

_:This isn't a matter of being happy! We have four missing mechs, and the whereabouts of one human is unknown!:_

_:Really Red?: _the saboteur said as he made it to the second floor. _:There's only a handful o' places they could be. 'Hide's got his ninja kitty sniffin' 'round da livin' room, and Doc-bot and Prime got da kitchen. Wheeljack aint had no visitors, and Raj is keepin' an optic on da hallway. Obviously, they aint with you an' Prowl, so da only place left is…: _Jazz trailed off as he rounded the corner of the doorway, the light from his visor illuminating the grin that flickered across his face. _:Bingo!:_

_:What? Jazz, we don't have time for you to be practicing human phrases!:_

_:Go have fun with ya monitor,: _Jazz said, clicking his comm. link off despite the protests Red Alert voiced. He weaved around the mess on the floor, stopping to admire the toys Victoria had grouped around the room. That helped to explain what Bluestreak had been helping her with earlier and why he had asked Jazz the odd question of whether Breakdown was a Combaticon or a Stunticon. Victoria's research hadn't yielded the members of which combiners (other than the Constructicons) went into which group. The Autobots could have their own mini-Defensor if he was correctly identifying the little group of Protectobots he walked past.

Speaking of combiners…no, wait. Easy access to the bed had nothing to do with the combiners. But Victoria had made it amazingly accessible by stacking boxes beside it. Normally, they'd have to go through the hassle of climbing up the quilt of her bed downstairs, which didn't work half the time because she had a tendency of kicking the blankets off and burying them beneath it.

Jazz frowned as he scaled up one box and then another with relative ease. Man, it was a pretty surreal experience, being little and all, but he was ready to be big again! To not have to worry about being stepped on or having to climb things twice your height to do something as simple as sitting on the couch.

He sighed as he reached the top of the highest box. If he was being honest, he just wanted to go home. Now that they knew that Cybertron may one day be uninhabitable, it just made their time on it more important. It was a lie to say that the Autobots thought that their planet would come out untouched by the war—they saw what their battles left behind on a daily basis—but for it to turn out that way? It sucked, and that was just putting it mildly.

But it was best to function in the here and now, and the present had Jazz indulgently smiling down at the pile on the bed. The mystery of the missing mechs (and human) had been solved, and there were even a few other faces in the mix. If he was to go by the blue screen illuminating the entire room, he would venture to guess that Victoria had fallen asleep in the middle of one of the home videos she had been watching almost nonstop for the past two days. Whatever had been said between her and Prowl had visibly shaken her, and she wasn't standing so firmly behind the decision she had made. In an attempt to reestablish her position, she had been organizing her brother's room like crazy as if that would somehow give her the right answer.

Jazz was a little disappointed by the behavior. After all, Victoria had established herself as a woman who stood firmly behind her decisions, whether they turned out good or bad. However, he did understood her struggle. It was hard not to since he and Prowl had butted heads over this issue every time they came into contact for the past two days, leading to most of the Autobots trying to keep them separated as much as possible.

Prowl stood firmly by his belief of Victoria adapting and getting along with the others on Cybertron as well as proving herself as useful, but Jazz honestly didn't care whether or not the human could comfortably live on a distant planet or whether she could work alongside Wheeljack or someone else. He didn't want her to see the full impact of their war. She was fairly innocent when it came to that aspect of their lives, and Jazz had seen others like her who had been vastly changed because of it. Bluestreak happened to be one of the mechs at the top of that list who hadn't offlined himself yet.

The mech shook his helm to get rid of those thoughts and examined the mechs who surrounded Victoria's prone body, all of them appearing to be in various stages of recharge. Swoop was curled up against her neck, hiding in a few strands of her short hair, with Laserbeak (he stopped to snicker at the little "Romeo and Juliet" couple for a moment) stuck halfway through transformation between his wings. Bluestreak was sprawled out on his front beside the arm that wasn't haphazardly thrown above the woman's head, his kibble fluttering as he experienced a memory flux. Rumble and Frenzy reminded him of how the Autobot twins preferred to recharge, curled as close as possible and in some way touching one another. He did have to wonder what would happen when Victoria rolled over and they went tumbling off her stomach.

Without the years of Special Ops, Jazz may have jumped out of his armor when a helm suddenly appeared on the other side of Victoria's hip. Two pinpricks of violet tinted blue glared his way before ducking back down as if he wasn't there. Curiously, the TIC carefully maneuvered around the human's body, being only slightly surprised when he ran across Skywarp almost completely buried under the covers by her feet.

Once he was on the other side, Jazz stopped and placed his servos on his hips as he scrutinized the two on the other side. "Don't play opossum with me. Ah saw ya peekin' over."

The mech on the right snorted and unfurled from where he lay on his side with his back to his brother. "What do you want?"

Jazz smiled at the front-liner's direct approach, which somewhat bordered rude and indifference. Sunstreaker showed true interest in very little unless it was somehow connected to art or kicking Decepticon aft. "Just lookin' fo' you guys. Gave Red a scare when ya didn't report in."

Sunstreaker snorted again and stretched—a fairly pointless exercise most of them had picked up during their stay—before standing up to find a more comfortable place to sit while being careful not to wake his brother. "I got annoyed by his incessant nagging and turned his channel off."

Jazz snickered as he quickly relayed his find to the SD and just as quickly shut him back out. The saboteur didn't need Red Alert's nagging in _his_ audial. "So, y'all havin' a slumber party and didn't invite me? Ah feel unloved."

Sunstreaker shook his head at the mech's exaggerated hurt. He had dealt with Sideswipe on a daily basis since creation; Jazz's "hurt" didn't even faze him. "I don't know; they just offlined one by one."

Jazz sauntered over to where Sunstreaker now sat by his snoozing twin's helm and collapsed in a heap beside him, having enough smarts not to playfully drape himself on the front-liner like Sideswipe would have or touch him at all for that matter. There were just some boundaries a mech didn't cross, no matter how friendly he was. "Why aint you snoozing?"

Sunstreaker looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "With four 'Cons around? I don't think so."

Jazz grinned as Sunstreaker huffed in offense while unconsciously scooting closer to his brother. He had seen it time and time again; neither of the twins tended to recharge at the same time unless they were on a base they felt was safe enough to be in, like back at the main base in Iacon. More often than not, one of them played "opossum" like Sunstreaker had been doing, on the very edge of recharge but still alert to their surroundings, while the other fully recharged. He supposed it had been a system the Twins had developed during their lives in the gladiator pits, but he felt it rude to bring up their past to find out the reason for something so mundane. They just did it, and it had become a well-known routine among their division of Autobots.

So he gestured at the TV to change the subject without stepping on the Sunshine's sensitive toes. "What were ya watchin?"

Sunstreaker followed the movement with his optics and stared at the blue screen before turning back to him. "One of those stupid animated films they like so much." He vaguely waved to the side of them where Jazz turned to see a controller that blended in with the dark comforter. "I got tired of listening to the title screen playing in a constant loop, so I turned it off. But it turns out that this TV isn't hooked up like the one downstairs, so all you can do is watch movies."

The two Autobots sat in a fairly companionable silence for a moment or two—Sunstreaker keeping a constant optic out for trouble, and Jazz quietly observing. After a few minutes, the yellow mech turned to glare at the black and white one. "What? Why do you keep staring at me?"

Jazz shrugged the growled question away and looked around the dark room before eventually straying back to the front-liner. Sunstreaker just snarled once more, and Jazz defensively waved his hands between them. "Whoa, cool it mech. Ah'm just thinkin' is all."

The snarl was still present on the mech's face, but he didn't look as if he was about to jump up and tackle the spy anymore. "About what? And don't try to say it isn't any of my business; you're staring too hard at me for it to _not_ be."

For the second time during their stay, Jazz marveled at how observant the front-liners were. First Sideswipe and now Sunstreaker? Seemed like the Twins had some hidden potential. Then again, he shouldn't have been surprise, again considering their background. When one was making a living in the gladiator pits, it didn't pay to be ignorant to your surroundings.

Sunstreaker's scowl intensified when he didn't immediately receive the answers he wanted. "This doesn't have anything to do with her acting weird, does it?"

Jazz shrugged. "Ah don't know. Is that why ya hangin' 'round her so much?"

The mech had been on guard, so it was a simple task to dodge the arm that swatted out at him. Jazz reacted by dancing around until he was crouched in front of his companion. He also noted how Sunstreaker stopped himself just shy of hitting the woman they sat beside. "Temper, temper, Sunshine."

"Don't call me that!" Sunstreaker snarled loud enough for Jazz to know he meant business. "And tell me what you and the others have been whispering about for the last two fragging solar cycles."

Jazz hesitated a moment before confessing. After all, if what Ratchet said was true (and it must have been because Prowl had been using it as one of his most compelling arguments) Sunstreaker and the others had a right to know what was going down. "How you feel 'bout takin' Vicky back with us?"

By the look Sunstreaker was giving him, it was like he had just suggested they off Sideswipe and go skipping merrily off into the sunset where they would spark-bond and make dozens of adorable little Sunstreaker and Jazz mini-mes that would later dominate the world while making Prowl's life as hard as possible. "Have you lost your slagging mind?"

"Yes!" Jazz exclaimed as quietly as possible and scooted closer to the other Autobot. He stopped short of entering Sunstreaker's comfort zone, indicated by when Sunstreaker's glare intensified, and started waving his servos with exaggerated emotion. "That's what Ah been tryin' ta tell them!"

"Who are they?"

"Ratchet, 'Hide, an' Prowl."

Sunstreaker scowled at the names of the three mechs he both hated and admired. While he hated the officers because they were the ones who dealt out the most punishments, he also grudgingly admired their hard work and dedication. They were conflicting emotions but it shouldn't have been shocking since he was, and this came straight from Sides' own mouth, "a quagmire of conflicting feelings." Yeah, he had been amazed to hear such big words from his brother too.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What are we gonna do with her? If what we saw from those movies and cartoons is true, then _we're_ normally the ones who are bigger. We already know the hassles of working in a world when you're the tiny person. And what are we gonna do about the war? Keep her locked up so that nothing happens to her? That she doesn't accidently get stepped on when we're rushing to answer a Decepticon attack? She's not going to want to stay locked up even if she stays neutral. She's safer here."

His last statement caught Jazz's attention, and his visor slightly brightened in interest. Ratchet had the medical evidence of the bonds forming, but it was difficult to pick up on them just by physically observing the mechs. Sunstreaker was the most difficult to see, and Ironhide had actually thought it was a joke when Ratchet had first explained it to them (now Ironhide had a dent in the side of his helm that the medic refused to fix). Jazz had been skeptical as well, but now he could see it.

Guardian bonds were an oddity as there were instances where the bond was expected, such as when Ironhide had taken a young Bumblebee under his tutelage, or developed in the least likely mechs, like when Prowl took responsibility of Bluestreak. Even though it may have been seen as the most natural thing, since the two were both Praxians and Smokescreen wasn't on base at the time, Jazz knew that Prowl wasn't the most comfortable mech around younglings, and Bluestreak had been both young _and_ traumatized.

Sunstreaker obviously fell into the second category and didn't even notice it, probably because he wasn't actively seeking to create a bond and didn't understand that some things just…happened. Because in all honesty, Sunstreaker was _not_ Guardian material; but then again neither had Prowl been, and he and Bluestreak had turned out pretty well.

Jazz shook his head and noticed that Sunstreaker was glaring at him for letting his mind wander. "Prime says this is all her choice. Guess that's why she's watchin' them home movies so much."

"Good, 'cause she's going to say no," Sunstreaker said with confidence as he turned to glare in the direction of Skywarp when the Seeker moved around a bit. Once the enemy had settled down again, the mech turned back to Jazz and glared at the smirk being sent in his direction. "What?"

"Nothin'. Wouldn't Sides want her ta come?"

Sunstreaker snorted and looked down at where his brother lay beside his knee. "He just wants a personal mascot. The idiot wouldn't even consider the war."

Jazz shrugged and moved to lean back up against Victoria. "Guess it all really comes down ta what she wants."

Sunstreaker nodded and didn't look as perturbed knowing that. Like he had said before, Victoria would decide to stay; she wasn't the kind of person to just jump into something like that. She liked staying in her "comfort zone" too much.

"So," Jazz droned as the intensity in the air dispersed. Who would have thought that Sunstreaker would get so bent out of shape over the issue? "What were you guys watchin'?"

_"Don't,"_ Sunstreaker dangerously hissed as the saboteur inched towards the controller. "I refuse to watch that stupid racing car movie again."

"Aw, ya know deep down ya enjoy those cartoons!" Jazz said teasingly as he took the chance of lightly poking the front-liner in the shoulder. "What's your favorite? The one with da toy cowboy and spaceman?"

Sunstreaker grumbled, and they both jumped as Victoria shifted behind them. She rolled onto her side and effectively dislodged the Cassette twins from their place on her stomach, causing them to land on the bed only a few inches away from the other mechs. Both Autobots tensed as they expected the Decepticons to come online and start complaining, but they were genuinely surprised when the only thing that happened was that Rumble rolled over to snuggle into the woman's shirt, dragging his brother along with him.

"That is so weird," Sunstreaker mumbled before curling back up beside his brother, hinting to Jazz that their "bonding time" was over. Jazz sighed and stood up, taking one more quick glance at everyone on the bed before jumping down and leaving the room. Red Alert's pings were starting to annoy him and Mirage needed a break from spying on the Decepticons.

**[~]**

Megatron snarled as he kicked a stray button on the floor of the utility room. "Incompetent fools!"

The Decepticons watched in silence as their leader ranted and raved while trying his best to destroy anything in his way—the normal type of temper tantrum they were used to seeing after some kind of lose. Only this one seemed even more childish considering his size. Most of them were zoning out as he turned to directly address them. "You are all idiots!"

Everyone looked to Starscream, and (of course) he stepped up to flawlessly play his role. "And this is coming from a leader who can't even get his soldiers down the hallway, let alone the back door!"

Megatron growled at the Seeker, who just minutely flicked his wings in a rude gesture and crossed his arms in defiance. "And what can you say when you cannot even keep your trine in line?"

Starscream bristled at the insult and stepped up once more to argue. "I am in full control of my Seekers!"

"And where has Skywarp been this whole time?"

"Doing exactly what I ordered him to!"

"Yes, promenading like a mech from one of the red-light districts."

Now Thundercracker was bristling with anger, and it wasn't just because of Starscream's unrestrained emotions flooding the bond between them. No one insulted a Seeker in a trine without insulting them all, and they most _definitely_ didn't go after the youngest one without some form of retaliation. "Why you-"

"Relevance to situation: none," Soundwave interrupted before the two jets could lunge forward and dismantle their leader's small body. "Problem: Autobots."

Megatron glared at Starscream for a brief klick before turning to his always calm third. "Yes, they have amped up their defense and are on constant surveillance around the room. We cannot put our plans in motion when one of them is always nearby to alert the others." Megatron began to pace as he calmed down after his ritual, stress relieving rant. "While most of our strategies involved just brute strength, we require the element of surprise for this to go off without a hitch."

"Well, aren't you speaking rationally," Starscream snapped, still burning by the insinuation Megatron had made towards his wing brother. As trine leader, he couldn't help but take any insult thrown towards Thundercracker or Skywarp as a personal insult on his own character. "Normally, it's charge in with little caution and deal with the consequences later."

Megatron ignored his second and instead sought out his third. "Soundwave, which one is currently stationed outside the door?"

Soundwave stood silent as he communicated with Ravage, who was keeping an optic on what was going on outside of their small room. "Designation: Mirage."

The leader nodded, not at all surprised. The Autobots preferred to switch out the two Special Ops mechs because of their abilities to remain nearly undetected. Unfortunate for Mirage, Ravage tended to rely on his sense of hearing more often than sight, so merely using his electro-disruptor wasn't enough to fool the feline. Even if he proved difficult to keep track of at all times, Ravage was able to figure out the general vicinity of the mech.

Megatron stroked his small chin in thought. Charging in was out of the question. The Autobots had somehow been informed of their plan and, as he had commented earlier, were anticipating their movements and successfully retaliating. He loathed that his soldiers were being so easily trapped in this room, and the only ones who were able to come and go were the Cassettes and Skywarp, the Cassettes because of their sneaking abilities and Skywarp because—

He froze as the perfect plan suddenly struck him. The combination of Skywarp's warping abilities and an act so bold, it would effectively distract the Autobots…it was brilliant! Of course, it came from him, so what did he expect?

The Decepticons fought not to twitch away as their leader turned to them with a devious smirk. Megatron was a force to be reckoned with when he got that look on his face. "Starscream, order that fool back here! Thundercracker, I'll brief you on what your trine's part will be. Soundwave, have Ravage pinpoint _exactly_ where that Autobot is stationed. The rest of you, ready the dryer for a prisoner!"

**[~]**

Mirage frowned as he witnessed Ravage retreat back to base. A quick cursory glance of the hallway fed his suspicions as there was no other Cassettes in the the narrow passage. Now, why would Megatron order his soldier to retreat when he knew for a fact that an Autobot was currently watching them? Optimus had made it no secret the first night the Decepticons tried to sabotage Wheeljack that they would be watching.

After a moment's hesitation, the Autobot spy was carefully following after the robotic feline. He had snuck into Decepticon bases multiple times before; surely this time wouldn't be any different. The Decepticons were too arrogant to believe that _anyone_ could sneak up on them, and he had only been detected once, which he grudgingly admitted was his fault. The one time he hadn't been paying close attention to his surroundings was the one time he had stepped through a puddle of wet paint and left pede-prints behind him. Fortunately, by the time the Decepticons had found the trail and followed it, the paint had dried and he was already on his way back to Iacon with a teasing Jazz and laughing Bumblebee.

Mirage cautiously entered the room and hugged the wall as he snuck up to where most of the Decepticons were huddled up by the dryer. Bonecrusher was cursing as he took his padded cushioning out, the blanket completely covering him as he dragged it to an unoccupied corner of the room. Barricade was gathering the other things that they had hoarded, making Mirage almost blanch at the trash that was tossed out.

His surprise at their filth was shoved away as he stalked up to where Megatron, Ravage, Starscream, and the rest of the Command Trine were huddled up arguing.

"-certain that it is functional?" Megatron asked as the spy caught the very end of his sentence.

"Of course I'm certain!" Starscream screeched in offense while Ravage weaved between the Seekers to get to the Kreon leader. "Nothing I make is _not_ functional."

Skywarp snorted. "What about that machine that was supposed to make Energon gummies just by pouring a cube into it?"

"I was a youngling!" Starscream snapped, turning on his fellow fliers. "And I _did_ get that to work, thank you very much!"

"Yeah, after it exploded," Thundercracker corrected while holding up two fingers. "_Twice."_

Even from where he stood a safe distance away, Mirage could see Starscream grit his denta to keep from lashing out at the older Seeker. It was funny now that he thought about it. Starscream never lashed out at his trine unless it was required. Or Skywarp was being an idiot.

Megatron growled in an attempt to get his second's attention as Ravage sat regally beside him, almost towering over the midget leader. "Pay attention, you fool! Is the weapon ready?"

_"Yes,"_ Starscream hissed with added exasperation. "It's been ready, but you, o' mighty leader, have refused to use it. Instead you hide it with some foolish concept of making it a 'surprise.' If _I _was leader, I would have used it to decimate those soft-sparked fools already!"

Mirage wasn't the least bit surprised by the argument that ensued. A fight between these two particular 'Cons was a common occurrence, with Starscream leaving with some kind of damage even more common. Even the three onlookers looked bored as they watched their commanding officers snap back and forth at each other.

But that wasn't the Autobot's concern any more. The Decepticons had been working on a weapon? Right under their noses? Now, Victoria had once expressed the worry of such a thing happening with the materials the Decepticons had access to, but she had eventually gotten over that after the first few days. Seems as if her worries were justified, seeing that they had actually happened, and Starscream had been known to create some deadly weapons. It happened sparingly, but it happened all the same.

Apparently in their attempt to prevent the Decepticons from doing anything rash, the Autobots had spurred them into much deadlier action. How fragging ironic.

Seeing an opening for the dryer (very convenient since Barricade and Bonecrusher had gotten into an argument and Soundwave was tending to his squabbling Cassettes on the other side of the room), the spy took it and stealthily dashed over. If he was going by the book on this, he should have found a safe place to quickly ping his superior the information and wait for further commands. But no one in Special Ops was very good at following rules. They labeled them more as guidelines that could be assessed, ignored, or even slightly bent depending on the situation.

Right now, Mirage felt it was more imperative to either relieve Megatron of his weapon or sabotage the device.

He grabbed the lip of the machine's opening, pausing when it made a tiny hollow sound as his servos gripped it. Looking around and making sure no one had been alerted, he continued to cautiously pull himself over and eventually made it to the other side. He cringed as he landed in a pile of unknown trash, choking on a yelp as he felt something slimy touch the side of his leg. No wonder Victoria grumbled when she had to clean the dryer out.

The former noble shook his helm and focused on the task at hand. The sooner he found that weapon, the sooner he could clean himself of slime and other filth. He cautiously shifted through the trash, pulling out all sorts of crude until he reached the back of the machine where he finally pulled out anything remotely suspicious. Confused, he flipped the device around, studying it from every angle. It didn't _look_ harmful…

Mirage yelled as a sudden shrill sound came from the device and echoed throughout the wide cylindrical structure. Clutching his audials while attempting to manually turn them off at the same time, Mirage dropped the small device and fell to his knees before the pain became too much and his systems offlined in an attempt to stop it.

Barricade peeked into the dryer as the beeper Starscream and Soundwave had collaboratively constructed only a breem or two ago finally shut off and chuckled at the sight of the unconscious slender mech, who had become visible the moment he had dropped. "Dumbaft Autobot. He completely fell for it!"

"Excellent," Megatron said while abandoning his "argument" with little preamble. "Get that door sealed and prepare for phase two."

The black and white mech pointedly looked towards Bonecrusher, who angrily growled but moved to shut the door anyway. Situation taken care of, the scout turned back to his leader, who was preparing for his role by snarling the consequences of failure to the Seekers. "Lord Megatron—if I might ask—why do we not just use what Starscream and Soundwave created to defeat the Autobots?"

"Half-glitch!" Starscream answered instead, making the mech who was originally asked the question glare. "We would suffer as much as the Autobots. The only reason _this_ worked was because the sound was somewhat contained." Starscream paused to glance at the dryer, something very similar to sympathy flashing across his optics. "His audial circuitry is most likely fried, along with his comm. link, and the odds of even more damage within his processor are possible."

"Sucks for him," Frenzy muttered as he stood beside Soundwave. The telepath patted the top of his helm and kept his other servo firmly placed on top of Rumble's to prevent the twin from speaking. Now was not the time to start mindless chatter/arguing, and the twins knew that but sometimes they needed extra…encouragement.

"Whether he wakes up shooting or with the mindset of a sparkling is no longer a concern," Megatron growled. "We move on to phase two now." Starscream vented in annoyance but prepared to leave with a gesture to his trine. "Starscream, I want the engineer _alive._"

The jet snorted. "I'm more than capable of working whatever the Autobot has created."

_"Starscream," _Megatron hissed with irritation, "keep him _alive." _

Starscream glared and grabbed onto Skywarp before the warper started up his warp generator, and the trine vanished. Megatron turned to the rest of the Decepticons waiting patiently for their new orders. "Decepticons…prepare to raise some hell."

**[~]**

"Yo Prime!"

Optimus looked up at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Jazz climbing up onto the table to join him and Prowl. At first the Prime tensed in anticipation of leading Jazz away to prevent another fight from breaking out, but he paused when he noticed how tense the saboteur's normally jaunty stride was. "Is something wrong Jazz?"

"Yeah something's wrong," Jazz snapped, gaining Prowl's attention now. "I ordered Mirage off duty after he took most of the night shift. What the frag am I hearing about him being put back on?"

Prowl frowned at the dropped accent. It was a clear sign that Jazz meant business and wanted his words to clearly display that. The SIC turned to Optimus to hear the answer. He wasn't about to step into a situation that clearly wasn't his business as he hadn't assigned the noble that duty.

Optimus conveyed his confusion well for a mech who constantly wore a battle mask. "I am afraid you have been misinformed. Swoop was originally put on patrol duty for that area, but Mirage insisted that he take the mech's place. He assured me that you would not mind."

Jazz continued to glare at his old friend before suddenly reverting back to "good ol' Jazz." "My bad mech. Ya know how protective Ah get o' my soldiers." Optimus nodded, having the same sentiments for most, if not all, of the Autobots. "Ah'll have ta talk to Raj 'bout this. He's gotta habit o' bitin' off more than he can chew."

"What?" Prowl asked blankly as his wings twitched in confusion.

"Human phrase," Jazz said shortly, remembering the agitation he currently held for the SIC. "Ya wouldn't get it 'fore you processor fritzed."

Optimus sighed and stepped between the two before they could really start snapping at each other. "Jazz, if you feel the need to do so, you have permission to pull Mirage from duty. I will put another in his place."

Jazz nodded, and his visor dimmed as he attempted to contact the noble via comm. link. His visor brightened once more as a frown graced his lips. "That's weird. Ah can't reach him."

"Special Ops has a tendency to ignore most higher authority," Prowl drawled with a casual twirl of his door kibble. "Or so my own experiences have confirmed."

"My mechs don't ignore _me,"_ the saboteur insisted with an edge of worry tinting his voice. He turned to jump off the table. "Something's wrong."

Just as Jazz reached the floor, Barricade and Bonecrusher swerved around the corner and opened fire without preamble. Jazz cursed and ducked behind the leg of the table while Optimus and Prowl flattened themselves against the top to avoid the gunfire. "Great! We've finally pushed da 'Cons ta not carin' 'bout losin' limbs. See what ya plannin' did Prowl?"

"Do not blame this on me," Prowl hissed as he tried to stand up only to duck back down as Barricade took a shot at him. _"You_ were the one who suggested barricading them in while _I _proposed to simply put an end to the whole matter! The opportunity we have been given since appearing in the cabin is one that we should not have wasted."

Optimus sent his second an almost irritated glance but knew that Prowl was only going with what seemed the most logical choice. However, the Prime didn't want to end the lives of the Decepticons. If anything, these Decepticons could possibly be the only ones they could reason with. Not all of them had been completely unaffected by the month they had spent here.

"Prowl, Jazz, I have said little of your current argument, but now is _not_ the time to allow those feelings to impact your duty. The Decepticons are not playing this time—this isn't a game to gain territory within the house. I need the two mechs I appointed my second and third to work together as they have before."

Prowl looked slightly ashamed by the behavior he had exhibited in the last few days, and by the lack of snarky or humorous comments from below, Jazz felt the same way. Optimus nodded, an indicator that their behavior was forgiven, and Prowl wasted no time somewhat gracefully flipping to the underside of the table, landing heavily beside an armed Jazz. The other mech glanced at him before attempting to peek around the leg they were behind. He quickly ducked back as beam of energy grazed his visor. "Fu-!"

Prowl watched with mild surprise as Jazz used his free servo to slap across his mouth. "What?"

"Ah almost said da bad human word that Vicky put me in da Jar for."

Just like that, their argument was forgotten as Jazz wildly grinned and Prowl spared him a slightly amused twitch of door-wings. Above them, Optimus sighed in relief. He hadn't been sure if that would work, seeing as both of his officers were notoriously stubborn on some topics, but if they were working together it shouldn't take long to overpower the two Decepticons still firing on them. While they took care of Bonecrusher and Barricade, Optimus began to locate the other Autobots as Jazz once again confessed to not getting any word from Mirage. _:I need everyone's location.:_

_:Sides, Sunny, and I are up in the bedroom with Vicky,: _Bluestreak answered first. _:What's wrong? Prowl was just demanding to know where I was too, but then you demanded our locations, and I couldn't answer him because then you called, and I thought it would be more rude to ignore you than him, and can you tell him where I'm at too.:_

Optimus briefly chuckled at the younger mech before focusing on the other pings coming in. He was pretty sure Prowl had heard the talkative Autobot over the open channel they used. The next to answer was Swoop. _:Me Swoop with him Red Alert.:_

There was no need to expand on that. Red Alert hadn't ventured far from his monitor since the day he received it. Optimus winced as the next comm. that came in. _:Where the frag do you think we are? Do you not see the fight taking place right across from you?:_

The Prime looked up to see Ratchet and Ironhide in the living room taking care of the Cassettes and Megatron. How strange…normally Megatron was all too eager to engage Optimus. Ratchet spared a glare his way before both Rumble and Frenzy jumped onto his back.

Optimus chose to ignore that as he began to genuinely worry about not only Mirage's radio silence but Wheeljack's as well. Wheeljack had been specifically ordered to keep his link open at all times, so it was only logical to believe that the Decepticons had somehow made it to the shed. How could that have possibly happened with most of them in the living room and kitchen and Red Alert on full alert (no pun intended) with his monitor that was pointed directly at the backdoor?

_:Bluestreak,:_ the Prime began after realizing that the last two Autobots were not going to answer. _:You three get down here now. Ratchet and Ironhide require your assistance.: _Optimus ducked again as Barricade shot at him. _:And…we may as well.:_

_:Woo hoo!: _Sideswipe whooped as he listened in. _:Prowl needs our help to save his aft? We'll be right there!:_

Optimus sighed and hoped Prowl never heard of this. Life would be full of hard stares and silent, but rude, wing gestures. Primus help the mech that got on the SIC's bad side. Unless he was Jazz because the saboteur gave it right back.

_:Swoop,:_ Optimus continued after getting back on track. _:Mirage has yet to check in, and I fear that he may be unable to. I need you and Red Alert to locate him.:_

_:Okie dokie,: _Swoop answered casually before breaking the connection.

"Jeez, Ah see why da 'Cons didn't use much ammo durin' our stay," Jazz griped as he ducked back behind his barrier, accidentally knocking against Prowl in the process. "They were just waitin' ta use it all in one wave. Ah couldn't even wave a white flag without getting' my servo blasted off."

"Since when would a Decepticon agree to a cease fire?" Prowl questioned.

Jazz paused. "Ya know, you're right. What was Ah thinking?" The saboteur noticed that the two enemies' fire was focused above the table for the time being. "Ya think we oughta find a way to distract 'em so Prime can get down."

"Agreed," Prowl said and immediately dashed across the floor. Jazz shrugged and followed after him, yelling as he went to gain the Decepticons' attention. It was enough and soon Optimus was huddled with them behind a new barrier. "Now we can discuss a decisive plan of action."

"Wheeljack has yet to contact me," Optimus started while doing his best to ignore the pings coming from the pot they were using as a shield. He noticed Jazz distractedly shift his weight from one foot to another. "Swoop and Red Alert are looking for Mirage as we speak, but I am afraid that Wheeljack and his invention may be in danger. We cannot allow Megatron to gain that device."

"Yeah!" Jazz said, clapping his servos together as he got pumped up. "Now how we gonna get past Thing One and Two?"

**[~]**

Red Alert glared at the screen in front of him while Swoop conversed with Optimus. He had never encountered a more worthless machine before! Well to be perfectly honest, it was probably his fault for wanting the camera set up to watch the porch, but how else was he going to make sure the Decepticons didn't sneak out to the shed? He had planned it all to prevent that from happening, yet he couldn't even keep track of what they did _inside_.

If he had his normal wall of monitors, he would have been able to see everything…

The SD jumped as a servo suddenly landed on his shoulder. Swoop backed off as the mech glared at him. "Me Swoop sorry, but you Red no listening."

Red Alert frowned and turned back to the screen. "Fine, what is it?"

Swoop tilted his helm at the other mech's disregard. "Mirage is missing."

"He's probably invisible," Red Alert answered offhandedly as he leaned into the screen. What was Wheeljack doing in the shed to produce such a bright, fleeting flash? Should he go ahead and alert Ratchet?

Swoop poked at the mech to regain his attention. "Him Optimus say we look."

Red Alert whipped his helm around to look at Swoop as if he had lost his processor. Swoop tended to ask the same thing about the security mech. "Are you crazy? I can't just _leave_ my camera monitor! What if something happens?"

The pterodactyl looked slightly upset, though Red Alert had no idea why. Until Swoop opened his mouth. "You Red Alert sad mech." Red Alert prepared to defend himself, but the Dinobot interrupted him with a raised servo. "No, you listen to me Swoop. Since getting her Victoria's gift, you hide all time in room. Use gift as excuse. Me Swoop understand why you no like being without it because him Ratchet explain. But you Red was doing good with Ratchet and Mirage help! Not always stay coop up in room. Now him Mirage missing and you sit here?"

Swoop sadly shook his helm and started to the door. "Me no get why Autobots say better than Dinobots. Least we Dinobots look out for each other." He looked back to see Red Alert gaping after him. "But you stay here and do nothing. Me Swoop think that what you do best."

Red Alert snapped his mouth shut as Swoop vanished. What the –did Swoop just _tell him off?_ Him—Red Alert, the best Security Director that the Autobots had had since the war began, and a mech who had even established his reputation _before_ the war? The one who had prevented hundreds, if not _thousands, _of invasions or incidents because he had seen and prevented them from happening through his cameras? True, Soundwave's Cassettes had a nasty habit of infiltrating their bases, but they had never gotten away with anything important before he spotted them. And the Twins still pranked, but he was able to identify them…half the time. He didn't do _nothing!_

The SD twirled back around to the screen just in time to see a little figure duck back into the shed. A little figure that was most definitely not an Autobot if the Seeker wings and purple highlights proved anything.

His immediate response was to contact either Optimus or Prowl. They would take care of it. He paused halfway through establishing the link. If Mirage was really missing, wouldn't it make sense that Optimus or Jazz would be the one looking for the spy instead of ordering him and Swoop to? After all, their unit was so small right now that they wouldn't have to delegate the duty to someone else. That meant that the two were currently busy and wouldn't be able to do anything with his findings

Then he would just get…Red Alert paused once more as Swoop's words echoed in his processor. He did do things…didn't he? Yeah, he tended to be "a mech behind the scenes," but really, he wasn't built for _war._ But neither was Inferno…or Mirage. And neither of them just sat back and watched everything happen.

Red Alert stood with a determined glint in his optics. He wasn't going to sit by and watch whatever the Seekers were doing outside. He was going to go stop them. Because no one snuck past him!

The mech stomped out of the room, pumped up enough to dismiss his irrational paranoia of leaving the room. He had been out here plenty of times to know that something wasn't going to swoop down and snatch him up…or something like that. He would prove to Swoop that he did something!

He paused when he saw Sideswipe and Barricade wrestling with each other and both Bluestreak and Sunstreaker were taking on Bonecrusher. From the living room came Rumble and Frenzy, who double teamed the red twin when his back was turned, and Sunstreaker abandoned Bluestreak to help his brother. The sharpshooter wasn't alone for long though as Jazz raced from the kitchen to tackle the Constructicon head on.

Red Alert moaned. He knew it wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped it to be.

**[~]**

Meanwhile, upstairs and oblivious to the current battle taking place downstairs, Victoria sighed as she leaned back to look at the little army of Transformers she had uncovered. There was almost fifty of them—far more than she would have imagined and that didn't even count the ones still in their packages and the little Kre-o 'formers! Not to mention the other merchandise like comics and accessories. Victoria had counted ten different t-shirts with Transformers on them.

It was very safe to say that Eric's Transformer obsession had not diminished over the years.

The woman fiddled with a small, easily transformable toy. Eric must have spent hundreds of dollars to collect these things. That's what most people did when they found something to be passionate about. She had seen it before on TV.

Victoria sighed and placed the toy back in a little group of similar ones. What was she doing sorting through all of these toys? She should be just piling them up in a cardboard box and moving on to the next thing. Not playing with them for the better part of two days.

Victoria stretched her legs out of their crisscrossed position and reached for a winged Autobot that Bluestreak had informed her was named Skydive. It all came down to one thing—Prowl's proposal. That stupid mech; where did he get off making her second guess herself? She had firmly decided to _not_ travel back with them, and Mr. I-Know-What's-Best-For-You-Now-Shut-Up goes and completely tears apart all of her viable reasons, not to mention just tear into her like there was no tomorrow.

So what if he made sense? That didn't mean she liked or appreciated it.

A vibrating sound emitted from the nightstand, and Victoria turned around to see her phone jumping around because it vibrated. A brief battle raged within in her before she groaned and crawled over to the table. Standing up at the moment was just too much of a hassle.

As soon as she saw the caller ID, Victoria groaned again. Great, just what she needed at the moment—her sexist, immature boss. Must have been "important" if he bothered calling instead of sending an email. Against her better judgement, the woman reluctantly accepted the call and lifted the phone to her ear.

"It's about time I reached you!" he complained before she could greet him. "Do you not check your email anymore? I swear, I've shot off about five different messages that have gone unanswered."

"Well, that's odd seeing as I've gotten a message from just about everyone in the office _except_ you," Victoria snapped back. Normally, she would have just apologized or allowed him to go on a rant of some kind, but she wasn't in any type of mood to deal with him. Besides, she was just stating facts; none of the emails she had deleted since coming back from Florida were from him.

"That doesn't matter right now," he deflected, just proving her point. "What matters is that I've finally gotten ahold of you, and I need you to come back _immediately."_

"I still have three days left of the month leave you agreed on," Victoria stated, reaching over to play with the Kreon Jazz standing on the nightstand. "I'm afraid I'm not exactly finished with the personal business I took the leave for."

"You've had enough time to deal with your family problems," he argued rudely, and the woman started glaring at the grinning Jazz. "I mean, seriously? You've worked here for years and never brought up anything about your family. How much could you have to deal with?"

"Actually-"

"Look," he interrupted with what could only be described as a "holier than thou" tone. "The big guys upstairs are looking for this year's expenses, income, yada, yada, yada. They want the stuff on their desk by this Monday, and well…most of the other employees are a little busy. Now _you,_ on the other hand, have had nearly a month of sitting at home doing nothing, so I'm seeing it as only fair that you come in and take care of that business while the others are taking their well-earned vacations." Victoria blinked as he continued. He did _not _just- "Oh yeah! Kim's scouting for a promotion, so if I was in your shoes, I'd hustle on back up here before _someone_ decides to put her in, say, a position like yours."

Victoria blinked in utter bafflement as he waited for her confirmation of abandoning her current plans and running back to him. She let out a bitter chuckle and picked the Jazz back up to fiddle with his tiny arms. "Oh, I can't even tell you how many ways you just offended me."

"Now Victoria-"

"No, you listen to me," Victoria interrupted, not being able to stand the condescending tone he had taken. Prowl's words, still fresh in her mind, were what spurred her on in that moment. She was sick and tired of being insulted, stomped on, and all around mistreated by people who did not even posses half a brain. "Before you came along, I actually did my job_. _You want to know why? It wasn't because I got lazy or I lost interest in it. My old boss actually gave me assignments that were common for a person in my position. I would _love_ to be able to do it again. Would you like to hear why I can't? The answer is simple: _y__ou."_

"Victoria-"

"No, I've listened to your crap for two years now, and that was only because I wanted to keep my job. It wasn't until very recently that I realized I wasn't even _doing_ my job—the one I was hired to do. You have slowly molded me into becoming a glorified secretary so that you can promote bimbos to the positions that allowed them to come in contact with you the most, such as the position I held. I've rolled over for you many times, but I'm afraid you've just gone too far this time."

"Victoria," he managed to get in while she caught her breath. The woman absently noted that he had lost his previous tone and actually sounded scared by how she was reacting. "I know that you may be feeling a little…strange, and I understand that! You've just gone through a very grievous ordeal. But you should _really_ think before-"

"Oh, I've thought about it." Victoria put the toy back on the table before running her hand through her hair. "I've thought about all the times you called my desk just to send me out for coffee, the many nights I stayed late to finish the reports that the _idiots_ you promoted couldn't complete because they didn't understand a damn thing, the times I took the blame for because of _your_ incompetence—would you like me to go on? Because none of this is painting you in a pleasant manner."

There was silence before the man on the other end sighed. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. But I can't be blamed-"

"Wrong answer," Victoria stopped him. "Here's mine—I quit."

"Now wait a minute! We can work something out."

"That's not possible. I'm tired of being your lapdog, the target of malicious gossip, and being underappreciated." She paused as her emotions suddenly got the best of her and a lump formed in her throat. "It may not be very smart with how the economy is at the moment, but I've finally had it. Consider this my two weeks notice and do not expect to see me after my leave is over."

Victoria ended the call despite the protests coming from the other end of the line and slumped against the nightstand. The sudden rush of adrenaline that had spurred her on slowly dissipated, and she was left to stare at her phone is slight mortification. "What the hell did I just do?"

* * *

><p><strong>EDITED: 410/2014**


	24. Funny How Things Work

**AN:** I'm a day late, but it was inevitable. This chapter just kept going, and I had to stop for a while to study, so it didn't get completed until late yesterday. Apologizes for breaking my promise and not responding to the reviews last chapter. So one big thank you for everyone who did review :D

Also, Tranformers' "kissing" idea belongs to Roses. wings; I just finally got around to adding it again -_-;

_"Thinking"  
>:Comm. Talk:<em>**  
>~Bond Speech~<strong>

_Nano-klik (klick): ~1 second  
>Breem: 8.3 minutes<br>Orbital Cycle: 1 month_

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Chapter Twenty Three

Funny How Things Work

* * *

><p><strong>Day 27 (cont.)<strong>

While Victoria sat up in the bedroom coming to terms with what she had just done, Wheeljack was dealing with his own kind of mortification as he watched the Seekers tear apart some of his most inventive creations to date. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Quiet Autoscum!" Starscream screeched as he oversaw the deconstruction of the world's smallest, workable roller coaster. "Tell us which one your little teleporter is!"

"Why would I?" Wheeljack defied, despite the fact that a Seeker's null ray was currently brushing the ridge of his nose. "With the rate you're going, you'll probably destroy it!"

Starscream twisted around and knocked Thundercracker, the official "guard," out of the way and aimed his own weapons at the engineer. "Listen to me Autobot," he hissed in a deadly tone. "None of you imbeciles understand what it means to disappoint Megatron. Yes, he's tiny and cute right now, but that doesn't change who he is! He's a vicious bastard who likes to take his anger out on his soldiers, specifically me!"

Wheeljack stared at the mech holding a gun to his head and repeated the only thing he had picked up on. "You think Megatron is _cute?"_

Skywarp guffawed from the other end of the shed while Thundercracker tried to restrain his humor behind a strained frown. Starscream sputtered as Wheeljack's face fins lit up with silent laughter. "I didn't –what I mean is –stop laughing! I am the one in charge here, and I order you to stop laughing!"

"I feel as if he is trying to deviate from the topic, don't you?" Wheeljack said conspiringly to Thundercracker, who could hold back his laughter no longer and started chuckling. "I guess that means yes."

Starscream snarled and fired at the space above the Autobot's head. The laughter stopped a second later, and the three mechs stared at the angered Seeker. The Air Commander stalked up to the engineer and fitted the barrel of his null ray under the mech's chin, gaining what could be similar to a human's gulp. "Excuse me if I feel the need to blow your slagging helm off. You can prevent this by telling were the fragging device is!"

Wheeljack warily eyed the weapon as Skywarp joined them. "I…don't think so. Blow my helm off all you'd like. Only _I _know how to work the device, and as great of a scientist as you are, I doubt that even you could figure it out fast enough to meet Victoria's deadline."

His last statement drew Skywarp's attention, but Starscream beat him to the punch as his wings stood up in a preening manner. "You think I'm a great scientist?"

"Course, you'd be amazed at how many of my colleagues talked of your work in renewable energy. It's such a shame that you gave that up."

Thundercracker groaned as his trine leader snapped to attention. Curse the dumb Autobot for bringing up the past. "I did not give up! Megatron refuses to listen to any of my proposals." Starscream sidled up to the engineer, and Thundercracker felt the need to slap his forehead. "I had this amazing idea that involved resources from a nearby planet that would have reduced the use of Energon for mundane things and provided it for the troops. Megatron wouldn't even listen! He said it was a waste of time."

"I would be outraged," Wheeljack played along seriously. "But Optimus tends to go along with any of my ideas unless Ratchet's there calling us all idiots."

"Alright, it's obvious that we've strayed from our original intent," Thundercracker interrupted before Starscream could get it into his processor of switching sides. "We have more important things to discuss."

"Yeah, like what do you mean 'Victoria's deadline'?" Skywarp interceded, making Thundercracker throw his hands up in an "I give up!" manner. "She hasn't said anything about a deadline."

"Oh yeah, you weren't there…yup! Victoria's only staying here for a human month, and by my calculations, that month is gonna be up in about three days."

"She never said anything about a deadline," Skywarp muttered in a betrayed voice.

Thundercracker sighed as one of his brothers looked prepared to go on a tangent while the other was moments away from moping. This was why he was deemed the responsible one; the others just couldn't stay on task. He yanked Wheeljack aside and got down to business. "Alright, look here. The whole reason we came out here was to get to the device that would allow us to jump dimensions. Don't deny working on it because we're not dumb. At least, I'm not. Now be a good Autobot and just hand it over."

"No can do," Wheeljack said happily even with a gun stuck to his head. "I'd rather stay here or die than let a Decepticon get a hold of it. And you guys should think about wrapping this up. Red Alert probably noticed your brother popping in and out a few minutes ago, so Optimus and others will be joining us soon."

He didn't like the way Thundercracker smirked. "I'm afraid your companions will be a little busy getting around the others. I'm guessing they're busy looking for your snotty friend too."

"What did you do?" Wheeljack questioned as he fins lit up with anger.

"Let's just say he might not be the same the next time you see him and leave it at that."

Wheeljack angrily yanked his arm away, but Thundercracker didn't mind. The blue Seeker continued to their destination and leaned against the contraption that chased the Autobots around the house so early in their arrival. It seemed like that had taken place ages ago. "Look, I just want to get back home. I'm tired of this place, and I, believe it or not, worry about my trine's sanity. They're not faring too well if you couldn't tell." He gestured over to where Skywarp was pouting in a corner and Starscream was ranting to thin air. "So if you could just zap us back to Cybertron, I swear to never aim for you again."

The lone Autobot stared at Thundercracker with a new light in his dark cerulean optics. "I'm pleasantly pleased to see that _some_ Decepticons aren't self-absorbed barbarians. But as much as I sympathize, I'm still not cooperating."

Ah, so that's what the dirt looked like close up. Fascinating, but Perceptor would probably find it more interesting. Thundercracker scowled at the back of the Autobot as he ground the mech's face into the ground. "I'm not a Decepticon for nothing. I've been patient, but that's finally run out. Either tell us where it is or die."

Thundercracker yanked the inventor from the floor and swung him around. "It is over there?" He turned in another direction when he didn't get a response. "There? What about-" Thundercracker paused as he noticed the engineer's optics focus in a particular direction longer than the others. He examined the location and threw the Autobot to the side as he walked over to investigate. "So it's over here. You Autobots are so simple to read."

The Seeker called over to his brothers, and Wheeljack's optics brightened in dismay as Skywarp began to haphazardly throw junk aside. "W-wait a minute! You can't just-"

"Shut up!" Starscream snapped while shoving the engineer aside. "Good work Thundercracker. I knew one of you were useful."

Skywarp gave his leader a slight glare but got back to throwing things aside. It was a good thing Thundercracker had a good optic because they would have never found it without him.

"No, you don't understand!" Wheeljack continued to protest, yet he was backing away instead of trying to stop them. "There's more than just that over there!"

"So it is here!" Starscream screeched gleefully, ignoring the obvious signs of Wheeljack retreating. "Excellent. If we find it Megatron will be in our debt."

"I don't think that's how it works," Thundercracker commented as he watched the Autobot with curiosity. All of the satisfaction he had felt from finding their target was beginning to wither away as he watched the Autobot engineer get as far away as possible. "Starscream, maybe we should-"

"Found it!" Skywarp exclaimed about halfway through junk throwing. "At least, I think I did. There's a big red shiny button…"

"Slaggit!" Wheeljack cursed and turned tail to run the instant Skywarp hit that button. The overwhelmingly loud sound of an engine turning over echoed through the small shed, and Skywarp yelled as he quickly returned to his brothers.

"Retreat!" Starscream ordered at the sight of the human contraption heading their way with an angry growl. "Skywarp, get us out of here!"

For once, the younger Seeker didn't complain about being yelled at and grabbed his brothers nano-kliks before the machine was on them. The three Seekers instantly popped out over the shed and watched with abject fascination as the runaway lawnmower ran straight through the wall and in the direction of the trees, where it managed to dodge two of them before meeting its demise by crashing into the third. As for the shed, it slowly collapsed on itself. With the huge, gaping hole in one wall coupled with wear and tear and general age, it was an inevitable outcome.

"We are so slagged," Thundercracker said slowly as the destruction was completed.

"Megatron will kill us," Starscream hissed in dismay.

"Forget Megatron; I'm more worried about Victoria's reaction."

Starscream spotted Wheeljack staggering back towards the mangled mess of what was once the shed and swooped down with the intentions of strangling him. "Look what you did. This is all your fault!"

An angry fire lit up the normally jovial engineer's optics, and Starscream yelped as he was thrown aside with surprising force. "My fault? _My fault!_ I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen. Now look what you've done! Do you even understand what_ is_ that you've done?"

Wheeljack shook the Seeker hard and continued to rant, falling back into Cybertronian when English didn't properly convey his anger. Starscream had lost the ability to shriek by the time the Autobot was pulled back, and the Seeker fell into a heap as soon as he was released. Thundercracker and Skywarp drifted down to retrieve the stunned tri-colored mech while Wheeljack began to rage at Ratchet, a very dangerous choice of action as Ratchet wasn't afraid to give it right back. Or just knock him over the helm with a wrench.

"Ow!" Wheeljack whined as both Decepticons and Autobots trickled out of the house, fighting momentarily forgotten as they went to investigate the sudden commotion. "I don't normally encourage your violence, but thank you for that."

"I told you!" Red Alert exclaimed as he quickened his pace to Ratchet's side. "This was all a setup to let the Seekers get to Wheeljack."

"That wasn't very hard ta figure out," Ironhide grumbled as Megatron tackled Starscream before he could stand up all the way. "Did they get it?"

"Does it look like they did?" Wheeljack snapped as his anger returned.

"Starscream you fool!" Megatron cursed as he wrapped his tiny servos around his second's neck. "I ordered you to retrieve the device, not bury it beneath this rubble! Can you not do anything right?"

Starscream yelped as a miniature fusion cannon began charging in his face. Screechy begging filled the backyard as he struggled to get away, finally succeeding as he jostled the grey mech off of him and fled across the yard. The duo was ignored as most of the mechs found interest in listening to Wheeljack, even the normally unconcerned Decepticons.

"Wheeljack," Optimus said soothingly, his composed voice working to calm the engineer enough to form sentences instead of just curses. "Please explain what has happened."

"They happened!" Wheeljack yelled angrily as he pointed to the two Seekers that still hovered slightly above their heads. "Those –those _neanderthals_ tampered with Project XVII!"

"Ah," Jazz hummed sympathetically with a slight flinch. "Not cool mechs. Guess that explains da destruction."

Prowl, on the other hand, flicked his door-wings in annoyance. "I thought you were ordered to shut down Project XVII."

"You know I don't get those memos half the time," the engineer deflected with a slight wave of his hand. "Besides, I did exactly what Victoria told me to do…I put a start/stop button on it."

"Yes, because _that_ obviously made it safer," Ratchet said sarcastically as he too waved his hand, only his gesture was to display the damages left after Project XVII's getaway. "And was this button big, bright and red?" When Wheeljack didn't answer, Ratchet looked to Optimus. "I rest my case."

"The point is," Wheeljack stressed as most Autobots looked amused while the Decepticons looked lost. "They tampered with it, and now the Dimension Bridge is stuck under there, which is a _huge_ problem."

"Why?" Sideswipe asked as him and his brother wandered closer to inspect the wreckage. "All we have to do is dig it out."

Bonecrusher snorted from where he had already been standing by the former shed. "Do you even know long that would take when you factor in our size and your puny strength?" Sunstreaker growled at the insult but was ignored. "A couple of joors at the least and a whole solar cycle at the max of nonstop working."

"Which is not good," Wheeljack stressed once more as he turned back to Optimus. "Ya see, I was sorta, kinda…gonna test it out today. And I was setting it up when I was ambushed by you know who."

"Maybe it'll go off and send the stuff to another dimension," Bluestreak suggested helpfully and with a small laugh, though most of the other mechs looked grim. "Problem solved."

"It doesn't work that way," the engineer said morosely. "If it goes off, we'll lose it. And quite honestly, I don't know if I'll have the materials to recreate another one if this fails."

"Then how did you plan on getting it back after 'testing' it?" Barricade growled as he took a threatening step towards the masked mech. "Were you going to 'test' it on your friends and leave us behind?"

"No," Wheeljack answered, sounding insulted by the suggestion. "I was going to recruit Sideswipe and show him how to program the device to return. I'm not stupid enough to send it out on its own, and the Twins have helped me on multiple occasions." He sighed and turned completely to Optimus. "I didn't have time to set the coordinates. If it goes off prematurely, best case scenario has it just vanishing and leaving us to find a way to make another. Another possibility is that the radius of the device is large enough to take us with it even buried beneath all this junk."

"Query: third possibility?" Soundwave asked as he had been carefully listening while keeping an eye on Megatron and Starscream. There was no need for his leader to off a valuable asset, no matter how backstabbing that asset was.

"Uh…yeah," the Autobot dragged out and almost flinched as every optic in the group focused on him. "Ya see…there was always another possibility. I mean, I'm working with stuff that doesn't even come close to the stuff we got back on Cybertron. I'm using a kid's game and a primitive device used to add numbers for Primus' sake!"

"Wheeljack!" Ratchet snapped when it became apparent that the mech was stalling. "Stop pulling a Bluestreak and spit it out!"

"The device could inadvertently rip a hole between the dimensions, pulling this dimension into it, where it may possibly be lost within the small gap that keeps the different realities separated," he said in one breath. He played with his fingers and refused to meet anyone's optic as a deadly silence fell over the group. "Nothing terrible really."

"'Nothing terrible'," Sunstreaker quoted as Red Alert began to fritz beside him. "You blowing up the backyard is 'nothing terrible'; a dimension collapsing on itself is a little higher on the terrible scale."

"Just think of it as a little vacation," Wheeljack answered with a shaky laugh. He noticed Ratchet's dark glare and took a step back. "Okay, jokes are a no-no right now."

"We could get killed!" Red Alert yelled in distress and clung to the nearest mech, who happened to be a disgruntled Ironhide. "Sucked into a dark, cold, empty space with no hope of ever returning."

"Thank you for that lovely image," Barricade growled as he scowled at the mech. Red Alert scowled right back and tried to stand on his own with his head held high. He got the first part after a few minutes.

"Possibility of deactivation?" Soundwave intoned, bringing the attention to him as he stepped towards the engineer. He slightly angled his helm, and the twins immediately dove into the wreckage. They were perhaps the smallest mechs there and most likely to find the device before it went off.

"Sure. If I can get to it, I can easily deactivate it or extend the time of departure. Extending it will probably be the easiest; at least long enough to correctly set the coordinates."

"You're not thinking of _helping_ them," Bonecrusher said with disgust as Megatron and Starscream ran past them. Thundercracker lighted next to the opening that Frenzy was attempting to wiggle into and grunted as he lifted the wood just enough for the Cassette to squeeze through.

"Priority: device," Soundwave droned while noting that Skywarp was drifting to the house, and Bluestreak was following him. "Temporary alliance: inevitable. A means to an end."

"At least ya bein' honest," Jazz mumbled before he purposely stepped up to poke the indigo mech in the chest. "What did you do ta my mech?"

Soundwave's visor flashed. "Current position: prisoner."

"Oh no you did not!"

Optimus and Prowl quickly restrained the saboteur as he was about to pounce, and Soundwave ignored the commotion and moved closer to help Thundercracker slowly shove a sliver of a plank aside. One down—the rest of the shed to go. Barricade finally sighed in resignation and moved to help as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker took the other side. When it came down to it, neither Decepticon nor Autobot wanted to meet their end from a device that was meant to help them.

In the end, the only ones not helping were Prowl and Optimus as they tried to keep an outraged Jazz from jumping Soundwave; Ravage because of his lack of opposable thumbs and general dislike of holding anything dirty in his mouth; Laserbeak, who was nowhere to be seen; Megatron and Starscream as they still ran around the yard; and Skywarp and Bluestreak, who had both vanished into the house by now.

**[~]**

Victoria was not completely unaware of the goings on outside since she had heard the crash even from upstairs. As a matter of fact, she was glaring at the window from where she sat on Eric's bed.

"What in tarnation is goin' on there?" her father's voice asked on the other end of the phone she had to ear. "Sounded like two cars just hit each other. You aint drivin' are ya?"

"No, dad. I'm sitting stationary," she assured as she moved to the window. A lot of help that did; the window was facing the wrong side of the house to even see backyard. "I just have some…movers over to help today."

"Well, you should hire a different company," he said easily, buying the story without even considering falsehood. "As a matter of fact, give me two days, and me and Benjy will be up there helpin'."

"Yeah, and I'll watch you throw out your back with the first box you pick up," Victoria countered with a shaky laugh, having just recently been given that information on his last trip up to the cabin. It put into perspective how far she had drifted from family after finding out two weeks ago of a condition that had been affecting her father for three years now. How was that for daughter of year? "Don't worry about it; I've got everything covered."

Her dad hummed on the other end. "I'm sure you do sweetheart. You're somewhat anal 'bout stuff like that."

"Ha ha," she said sarcastically even as she maneuvered around the toys in the room to get to the door. "Just because I tend to make plans ahead of time and get upset when it doesn't go that way doesn't make me anal."

"That's _exactly_ what your mother used to say," he said with a chuckled. "Then she'd flip 'er wig if somethin' small went wrong. Normally that involved flowers being placed at the wrong angle on the wrong end of the table. Just ignore the fact that all the flowers looked the same no matter which way you turned 'em."

Victoria chuckled at the reminder. Her mother had worked as a wedding planner, and even though she didn't often bring work home, it wasn't uncommon to hear a tale or two of how her assistant hadn't been able to correctly lay things that corresponded with her vision. She was the definition of perfectionist when it came to her job.

"Look I've gotta go," Victoria said after her laughter died. She was now traveling down the stairs and looking out for any mech on the way down. It was strange that Bluestreak never came back after telling her he would. "Gotta make sure nothin's been damaged."

"Good luck with that," he said with a snort of laughter. "It sounded like they tore down a side of the house." He paused. "You be careful, 'kay? I got this feelin' right now, and it aint a good one."

"I'll be fine," she assured. Victoria stopped at the sight of the living room, eyes widening in disbelief. "I– I _really _gotta go, but just remember what I said."

"That's what started the feelin'," her dad mumbled before saying goodbye, and they both hung up. Victoria sighed and stashed the cellphone in her back pocket before glaring at the completely trashed living room. How the _hell_ did they manage to do this? It was like a combination of everything they had done up to this point! Cushions were slashed, glass was shattered, the TV laying was face down on the floor (that's how she knew it was serious), and scorch marks painted the walls…they were dead. Or staying a day in the Jar—their choice.

The woman paused tiptoeing around glass fragments when a muffled mewl caught her attention. With careful steps, she maneuvered around the sharp objects until she reached the cabinet below where the TV used to sit, wincing at the sight of such an expensive appliance lying ruined on the floor. Nuisance tumbled out of the cabinet as soon as the door opened and pathetically meowed as he huddled up next to her leg. "My poor kitty! Which mean robot did this to you?"

Nuisance just meowed more and cuddled under her chin after she picked him up. She cooed and petted down his frazzled pelt. "You don't worry one bit. Whoever did this is definitely getting time in the Jar."

Victoria soothed the kitten to the point where it was no longer shivering and walked towards the sliding door that was wide open. It was obvious with the lack of activity within the house that the majority, if not all of them, were currently outside. She was unable to check her theory since a mech suddenly appeared in front of her face, scaring the living daylights out of her. "Skywarp!"

Skywarp looked surprised to see her but also somewhat relieved. "Perfect, you're right here! Now could you, I don't know, leave? Like, go to a town really far away?"

"Why?" Victoria asked suspiciously. "What have you done? Did you put Nuisance in the cabinet?"

The Seeker took the time to look offended. "Why does everyone always assume I've done something? And no, I didn't put that thing –I mean, your_ pet_ in the cabinet. I haven't even been in the room all day!"

Victoria kept a suspicious eye on him while trying to look past him to the yard. He made it difficult by conveniently hovering in front of wherever she looked. "Skywarp, I don't know why your acting so weird but get out of the way. I have to make sure Wheeljack hasn't started a fire."

"He hasn't, but maybe you could go to town to get the stuff to repair what he's destroy," Skywarp said with a nervous chuckle as he went from just hovering to shoving against her forehead in an attempt to make her go back the way she came. "Spend a little time off shopping or something. You said you were craving something called a milkshake, so why don't you go and get that?"

"Because that was over a week ago, and I got one when I was out with Bluestreak," the woman said, swatting his hands from her forehead. "What is going on out there?"

"Er," Skywarp stuttered as he stopped pushing, but he continued to stay in front of her even when she attempted to walk past him. "Nothing?"

"There are four mechs I've learned how to tell are lying: one is Swoop, who gets guilty and shows it; one is Bluestreak, who talks so much that he inadvertently gives himself away; Sideswipe because he's Sideswipe, and he's always up to something, so it doesn't even matter if he says he's not up to anything; and the last is you," she finished while poking him in the chest. "Your wings do this weird twitching thing."

"They do not," he denied, though his wings told another story as they slightly wiggled back and forth. "Besides, that's got nothing to do with what's going on."

Victoria gave him a blank stare as Nuisance began to wiggle in her arms. "Move _now."_

Skywarp looked torn, admiring her commanding stance (after all, that's the characteristic that had caught his attention to begin with) and wanting to skin her stubborn hide. Couldn't she see he was trying to _protect_ her?

"Stop glaring at her 'Con," a familiar voice came from below, and they both looked down to see Bluestreak standing beside Victoria's feet and glaring up at Skywarp. "She deserves to know, and we can use her help."

"Oh, so you're gonna risk her safety so she can _help," _Skywarp sneered, and Victoria looked back and forth between the two in confusion. "How 'Autobot' of you."

"Don't start with me," Bluestreak threatened, and the rifle at his side made him slightly more intimidating. _"You _were the one who caused this."

Victoria was surprised to see Skywarp flinch at the assumption and had finally had enough with their delaying. "Okay, everybody out of my way."

"Victoria!" Skywarp protested, but he was shoved aside, and the woman stepped out onto the porch. The Seeker glared down at the Praxian, who glared back. "I hope you're happy! You heard the nerd; that thing could kill her if it goes off!"

"Apparently you didn't listen to everything he said," Bluestreak argued while moving to follow the human. "He can deactivate it if we can get to it, and to do that we need Vicky's help. This isn't just about us anymore. If his worst case scenario happens (and it happens a lot more often than we'd like it to), we'd be responsible for the collapse of an entire reality and the death of millions—including us _and_ Victoria! It wouldn't matter how far away she was from the activation site."

Skywarp glared, begrudgingly and very silently admitting that the Autobot was right, but he didn't need to know that. So the Decepticon brushed the logic off and flew out the door to join Victoria as she headed over to the former shed but not before swooping down and unsuspectingly swatting the Praxian behind the head. The Seeker yelped as a sudden blast of energy whizzed past his helm by only a fraction of an inch and looked back at the glaring Autobot.

Bluestreak balanced the barrel of his rifle on his shoulder as he trudged under the jet. "That was your only warning shot. Next time I won't miss."

In the meantime, Victoria was coming to a stop in front of the working mechs and placed the hand that wasn't cradling her kitten on her hip as she surveyed the damage. "Wow, I must say that this is the most impressive thing you've done during your stay Wheeljack, and that's not something to be necessarily proud of."

Wheeljack's helm whipped up to look at her as he abandoned the plank he had been helping Ratchet move to confront her. "Now that's just not fair! This wasn't even my fault…this time."

"Big, shiny red button!" Ratchet grunted as he struggled to keep the wood from crushing his pedes. Without Wheeljack's help, it was a lot more difficult to prevent that from happening.

"Don't discriminate against my radiant and colorful methods of making my inventions stand out," Wheeljack argued with subdued humor. It had Victoria canting her head to the side in silent question. "Our lives would be so much more boring without them."

"Yes, and I wouldn't have to see your ugly mug on a daily basis either."

"You're just jealous," the engineer said with a little more humor as he stroked the chin of his blast mask. "I wear this to keep the femmes from jumping me."

This inspired a brief bout of chuckling from those diligently working around them, and Victoria smiled a bit even as she gestured at the smoking remains of the lawnmower a few yards away. "I'm guessing that was Project XVII."

"See, I told you she knew," the inventor bragged. Ratchet glared, and that glare only let up when Victoria finally bent down to help him out of his current predicament. _"She_ approved of the big red button."

"At this point, it doesn't matter if she approved or not. We have a much bigger issue at –Jazz! You cannot strangle Soundwave!"

"Lemme go!" Jazz snarled as Prowl caught him mid-charge. Victoria watched with wide eyes as the saboteur fiercely wiggled in the SIC's hold until Ironhide made it over to help with restraining the smaller Autobot. "Ah aint lettin' him get away with hurtin' one o' my mechs!"

"You don't even know if it was him," Ironhide protested as a flying servo smacked him across the face. He growled and pinned that servo down. "It coulda been the other 'Cons!"

"He's got this smug look on his face." Everyone looked at the telepath, who stared back at the saboteur until a brief flash brightened his visor for a moment before dimming back to its normal setting. The fleeting flash that nearly no one saw had Jazz struggling more. "See? There it was! Smug li'l bastard—he aint gettin' away with what he did!"

"Okay, is anyone going to tell me what's going?" Victoria asked as she finally noticed Starscream running for his life as Megatron chased after him. "I'm upstairs on the phone when there's a loud crash, and I come down to investigate and find a warzone and my kitten trapped in a cabinet, and then I come out here and find out that you managed to destroy a small building—the first to explain and start begging for forgiveness might get off easier."

"It was all the Decepticons' fault!" Red Alert got out first, not because he wished to get off lightly but because he was still peeved that they had found a flaw in _his_ security network. "They ambushed us in the house while the Seekers came out to sabotage Wheeljack."

"Tattletale!" Frenzy yelled from the rubble.

"I don't care about that," the human said with a slight glare as she held her pet out for all to see. "Who locked Nuisance in the cabinet?"

No one was dumb enough to fess up to the act, though Ratchet shot Ironhide a glare that was returned over the head of the still struggling Jazz. How else was the Weapons Specialist supposed to keep the cat from getting killed? It hadn't been ready for that type of combat! When no one admitted to the charge, Victoria sighed and placed the formally traumatized kitten on the ground, where it pranced over to rub against the one who had imprisoned it. "Fine then. Why are we digging around in what can now be considered trash. I don't think Wheeljack's roller coaster survived the crash."

Wheeljack looked put down by the idea but didn't comment as Ratchet glared. The medic wasn't in a very happy mood at the moment. Optimus gestured to his men to continue digging as time was of the essence, and he stepped forward to explain the situation to their host. "You are aware of the Dimension Bridge Wheeljack has been working on."

"Of course I am," Victoria answered immediately. "When he's not blowing up kitchen appliances he's working on that."

"An…incident occurred, one that I do not think I need to go into detail about."

"Does it involve Sideswipe, Wheeljack, Skywarp, or any combination of the above?"

"Er, yes."

"Details aren't even required."

Optimus' optics flashed with humor before growing serious once more. "The device has been trapped beneath the rubble, and due to a schedule that Wheeljack had already planned, there is a risk of it going off before we reach it."

"So?" Victoria asked with little concern as Bluestreak and Skywarp finally joined the group, both of them occasionally shooting glares at each other. "Maybe when it goes off it can take all this junk with it. Save me a lot of work."

"See? I'm not the only one who thought that," Bluestreak said proudly as he joined Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, the former of the two playfully shoving the mech in response to his statement.

"Unfortunately, Wheeljack has assured us that that is not possible," Optimus continued. "Without someone to handle the device, it is not possible to get it back after it has disappeared."

"Which explains why the Decepticons are so willing to help," she concluded while gesturing at where Soundwave was supervising Bonecrusher and Barricade's digging. "If it disappears, they'll have nothing to steal. Wow, talk about a major change of plan." Optimus nodded, and Soundwave slightly glared while the woman stood up and moved towards the pile. "I don't think you guys are making much headway, so allow me to assist. The last thing I want is to have to take you guys back to Florida because your only ticket home vanished into thin air. We'd drive each other crazy in my tiny apartment."

Optimus watched the woman carefully pick up the splintered plank that Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Bluestreak had been working on and tossed it to the side when the mechs finally let go after dangling in the air for a moment, Bluestreak falling to the ground in a fit of giggles while Sunstreaker cursed his brother for landing on him. He slightly turned as Prowl joined him, dragging an annoyed Jazz behind. "I couldn't help but notice how you conveniently 'forgot' to mention what could happen if we don't reach it in time."

"There is no need to worry her," the leader explained as he put a restraining servo on Jazz's shoulder. Jazz stopped struggling against Prowl's hold but crossed his arms in a defensive matter. "I received word from Swoop that Mirage is fine. He is caring for your subordinate's injuries, and they should both be able to join us in a few breems. In the meantime, focus on locating the device."

Jazz stared at him with a blank visor before nodding and dashing over to where Victoria was making more progress than any of them combined. Prowl watched a brief exchange between saboteur and woman until Jazz slipped through the opening she created. He turned back to Optimus. "It cannot be that simple."

Optimus paused before shaking his helm. "Swoop reported to Ratchet first, and our medic did not look thrilled by what Swoop described. But we need Jazz to focus on the matter at hand, similarly to how we do not need to raise an unneeded panic with Victoria." Optimus watched as Jazz vanished from sight, and Victoria went on with moving stuff out of the way. "Jazz may not be convinced, but he knows that when it is time to perform his duty, he has to push personal matters to the side."

Prowl nodded in understanding and left the Prime to join Ratchet and Red Alert, who had both stopped working to watch Victoria. Red Alert frowned as she tossed aside another board with little preamble, and Ratchet crossed his arms when she paused to pick at the splinter that had buried into her palm. "Human skin isn't as durable as our armor. Shouldn't you be wearing some type of protection, like gloves or even _shoes_?"

"I'm fine," Victoria insisted, flicking the splinter she had dug out to continue digging. "What am I even looking for? I'm only finding smashed pieces of metal and tools."

"You're looking for the blue toolbox," Wheeljack called out from where he was climbing over the pile and keeping track of Frenzy, who he could see between the cracks in the wreckage. "You know, the one you suggested I use in case this were to happen. Only your scenario involved an explosion."

"I didn't see a toolbox, but maybe it was on the other side of the lawnmower," Thundercracker muttered and jumped into the air to hover above them. He twirled around in the air for a moment, looking back and forth before choosing a spot roughly in the middle. "This is where the lawnmower had been. We would have never found that stupid device even after he gave away its position."

"Which was the point," the engineer said with a glare. "And it's a good thing I put it in there. If it had been sitting out in plain sight, it would have been crushed."

"Stop arguing," Victoria insisted while grunting at how heavy the object she was lifting turned out to be. "What's done is done, and now you should focus on finding this stupid thing." She squealed as what she tried to pick up weighed too much and pulled her down. Sideswipe and Bluestreak started laughing while Sunstreaker smirked, and she glared at them. "Shut up and start moving stuff! You guys had a pretty good system going on even before I came out here."

_"We_ haven't stopped," Bonecrusher snarled to himself as he attempted to move a tool that was in his way. He managed to move a fraction of an inch before glaring at where Barricade and Soundwave watched him from the sidelines. "What are you doing just standing there? Lazy aft mechs."

Barricade looked at Soundwave, who just blankly stared back. "Operation: supervision." The scout scowled but moved to help Bonecrusher anyway. Soundwave watched them for a while before moving over to where Skywarp was standing and watching the goings on but not lifting a finger to help.

The Seeker glared as the telepath got closer. "What? Are you gonna come over here and stare at me until I get to work? Forget it. I'm not a manual labor sorta mech."

Soundwave stared for a moment before pointing over at where Victoria worked and walked away. He had a reputation to uphold, and that reputation didn't include showing worry over a scratch that Victoria had gained during her digging. _Skywarp_, on the other hand, didn't have that problem, and it showed with how quickly he was over there worrying about it. Now all he had to do was get the medic or the jittery SD to get shoes on the girl. Rumble and Frenzy had encountered some sharp things, and humans were far more fragile than any average Cybertronian was.

Keeping her from severely damaging herself could be the way for him to silently payback for that comfy chair and the activities that kept his Cassettes busy enough for him to actually enjoy that wonderful chair…he was going to miss that chair when they left.

**[~]**

Swoop sighed as he closed up the mech's helm. All he could say at this point was that he was thankful Mirage wouldn't be in this tiny body for much longer…if what Wheeljack said was true, that is. He understood now why Ratchet got annoyed each time he examined Red Alert.

_Something_ was happening to them. He didn't know what, and no one else had an explanation but it was happening. When they first appeared in the cabin, they were like the other toys upstairs—harmless, plastic toys that just happened to look slightly more realistic. During the time of their stay they had…evolved? Something like that. Anyway, the point was that they were actually beginning to develop the correct anatomy of a Cybertronian. Their armor was becoming harder, more complicated systems were forming, their sparks were beginning to synchronize with these bodies—it was creepy from Swoop's point of view.

Ratchet had absolutely no explanation and had only explained the strange happenings to Swoop and Wheeljack. He hadn't wanted to start a panic with the other Autobots, who believed that anything they did here wouldn't affect their _real_ selves.

Wheeljack's original theory—it was only their minds that had transferred, not their bodies—had been amended; it was the _spark_ that mattered. All of the changes that had occurred had begun centered around their sparks, their life-force. Real spark chambers had formed to protect what was the most important aspect of a Transformer. The formation of the spark chamber had triggered some sort of chain reaction that prompted the rest of their bodies to change. Systems and parts that were used most often, like the comm. links and transformation cogs, came back online first, and it was strange that no one had picked up on the change earlier. Then again, those _were_ systems that were used in everyday life, and questioning the usage of their private forms of communication? It would be harder to believe that those systems weren't there.

It wasn't complete, thank Primus, but it did cause worry among the three. What would happen when the transformation was complete? Would they be stuck there? Could their sparks suffer major damage the next time they used Wheeljack's device? Swoop took the moment to glance down at the limp Mirage.

Would permanent damage like what Mirage had suffered be transferred with him?

"Me Swoop think too confusing," the Dinobot mumbled out loud as he stood from where he had been kneeling beside the injured spy. "Focus now on present—not what-ifs."

Swoop bent down and gently lifted the mech into his arms, thankful for the fact that all of the Dinobots normally towered over the other Autobots and that Mirage was a fairly slim mech. It would be a totally different story with someone like Ironhide. Even a big mech like Swoop sometimes had a hard time lifting a mech as bulky as the Weapons Specialist. What made it more complicated was that mechs like Ironhide, or Sunstreaker since he was pretty big, didn't appreciate being carried around even if they were injured. It had something to do with their pride, which Swoop thought was stupid. They could mend that pride a lot faster if they took the time to actually heal. Not that he could say anything flattering about his brothers on that aspect…

Swoop paused halfway out of the door of the utility room as Mirage jerked in his hold. The pterodactyl fought to keep the mech from hurting both of them as he began to struggle. "No, me Swoop friend! You Mirage okay now."

Mirage stopped struggling as his helm jerked to the side, and he finally noticed who held him. One of his servos jerked up to his audio receptor but the other remained unresponsive. He meaningfully looked up at Swoop, and the medic-in-training gently placed him on his pedes, supporting the side that wasn't receiving any signals because of damage.

"You Mirage not good shape," Swoop started slowly, enunciating his words so the currently deaf mech could read his lips. "Audio systems fried, comm. link down, vocalizer damaged but still a little operational, and the systems that relay messages to half of body temporarily disabled." Mirage's optics brightened in shock, but the spy displayed no other emotion. "Me Swoop fix as much as can, that why vocalizer work little. Him Ratchet do better job."

Mirage gave a jerky nod as the Dinobot began to slowly lead him down the hallway. Swoop didn't have much training in helping a disabled mech, as not many of Ratchet's patients suffered these types of injuries for long, so the journey was somewhat awkward and involved some veering off course. However, Mirage seemed to understand the Dinobots awkward efforts and didn't have the strength to complain.

He did, however, work up enough strength a short ways through their walk to say, "Thank…you."

Swoop looked up at the sound of the static filled phrase, trying to pinpoint the damage like he had seen Ratchet and First Aid do. "No need thanks. Me Swoop not able to fix like him Ratchet do."

The servo connected to the arm that was flung over the mech's shoulder twitched. "Come…find…"

"Course me Swoop find," Swoop said with slight surprise. "No leave you behind. Him Jazz come but busy."

Mirage nodded and limped along. The Dinobot didn't understand how grateful he was. His stupidity had led to this situation, yet Swoop was acting as if it was _his_ fault that he couldn't completely heal the spy. At least he could somewhat _walk._ He had little doubt that if Jazz had been the one to come along and help, he probably wouldn't even be able to limp along beside Swoop. He looked up to his captain on many aspects, but Jazz just didn't have the same type of skills as Swoop. Much to his shame, Mirage was coming to realize how much he had underestimated the Dinobot.

The former noble came out of his musings when he realized that they were slowly passing the bedroom, the door open wide enough for him to see that it was empty even of Red Alert. He angled his helm back to Swoop and made a confused static sound.

"Him Ratchet outside," Swoop answered as he carefully adjusted his hold. "No safe to wait, so we go meet."

Mirage grunted and stumbled as his only movable leg gave out for a moment. Swoop took the stumble in stride and supported the mech's full weight until he could limp again. It made the spy wonder if Swoop had omitted something from his already severe list of injuries.

One thing was for sure—he was indebted to Swoop for saving his life (as dramatic as that sounded). And he had no idea on how to pay the Dinobot back, or even if he could.

**[~]**

Victoria groaned as she doubled over, her hands propped on her knees to keep her from tipping over. This was _a lot_ more difficult than she thought it would have been, not to mention it was killing her back. "Dammit Wheeljack, where'd you put that stupid toolbox?"

"Not over there," the Autobot mused as he stood on the tallest pile of splintered planks. He twirled around to look at where Thundercracker was now sitting on another pile that hadn't been sorted through after discovering that his hunch had been wrong. "Maybe under that pile?"

"This is pointless!" Sideswipe groaned as he flopped down in a pile of snow that was melting under the glare of the midday sun. "By the time we even find this stupid thing we'll probably be getting sucked into a black hole of doom!"

Sharp glares went sent his way for the sorry attempt at humor, but Victoria ignored his exaggerated whining and tiptoed along the little path she had managed to create through piles of what was once a small shed. She couldn't help but think that a lot of wood went into building such a small structure…

"This is a huge safety hazard," Red Alert commented as he fluttered back and forth in front of where the others worked. He grabbed a hold of Ratchet's arm as the medic passed by and pointed. "Look at her feet! You can't tell me that all those scratches and scraps are good for her."

Ratchet just shrugged the hand off and continued to his original destination, where Ironhide was currently trying to coax Nuisance out of a small tunnel the kitten had crawled into to investigate. "I've told her to go put shoes on, but she insists she's fine. Give it a rest Red Alert."

Optimus glanced over at where Soundwave was standing close to him, both of them observing the goings on before them. "I'm curious…how do you deal with this type of behavior on a daily basis?"

Soundwave followed the hand gesture that accompanied the Autobot's question and stared at where Megatron was strangling Starscream at the foot of the porch. "Cassettes: ample practice."

Optimus watched as the two feared Decepticons rolled around until Starscream broke free and was once more running around the yard. "I can imagine…"

"Perhaps it's not even here," Prowl said with annoyance as he stared into the back of the engineer while Optimus attempted a stilted conversation with the Decepticon. Wheeljack twitched and looked back at the SIC. "You've been known to move things around and forget where they are."

"That's not the case this time," Wheeljack insisted, jumping down from his pile. "I would have remembered doing that."

"You spent a whole deca-cycle insisting that you would remember moving a specific part—one that I don't even remember the name of now—and found it in a drawer you had shoved it into when you were suddenly struck by 'inspiration,'" Ratchet said in exaggeration. "Excuse us if your track record doesn't exactly live up to your insistence."

"Well, this time I'm certain I didn't move it. And what do you mean my 'track record' doesn't' live up to my word? Name another time something like that ever happened."

"The first time we met, you dolt. You put a wrench down on the table and went around all day blaming _me _for stealing it."

"How else was I supposed to start a conversation with an old grouch like you?"

While the two argued back and forth, Victoria brushed aside some of the miscellaneous items that had been in the shed. There were bigger tools, boxes, and whatever other doodads there had been that had been broken in the accident and their parts scattered in the wreckage of wood, along with smaller tools and the cans that had been holding nuts, nails, and other small things had been scattered around. One of them poked the side of her foot, and she flinched back. Maybe she should listen to Red Alert…

At the moment, she swatted at Skywarp, who was poking at the shallow scratch that stretched from the top of her wrist to about halfway to her elbow. "The more you poke at it, the more annoyed I get."

"But aren't you worried it might get nasty like the stuff on TV?" Skywarp questioned as he ignored her order. Sometimes you had to annoy the crap out of those you cared about because they were too stubborn admit anything was wrong. "What if it gets so bad you have to cut it off?"

"Nothing is being cut off," Victoria said, paying more attention to him than where she stepped. "It's just a tiny scratch."

"That can get infected, leading to amputation," Red Alert insisted, catching Bluestreak's attention. "I've watched the documentaries and know what can happen to humans. What would we do if you needed a limb severed in order to save your life?"

"Those were extreme cases!" the woman exclaimed as her annoyance came to a peak. She should have just stayed inside and allowed them to handle their own problems, but _noooo. _Victoria had to poke her nose into it. "As in, it took several days for that to happen coupled with the extreme conditions of their environment. Not to mention half of those 'documentaries' were _fake."_

Red Alert tensed in preparation of arguing back when Victoria suddenly cursed, gaining the attention of those that had long since stopped paying attention to her. No one was necessarily concerned as Victoria often cursed when she was angry or thought no one was around to hear or when Skywarp suddenly took on the form of a "mother hen" since even the densest of mechs had learned of his crush.

But when Victoria limped out into the open with the Cassette twins closely behind, _that's_ when the others started getting concerned. The woman hobbled to a spot clear of debris and collapsed on her rear, hissing as the foot she tried to avoid stepping on was jostled in the process. Skywarp fluttered around asking all sorts of concerned questions while glaring at the others who did nothing to help.

"Skywarp I'm going to knock you out if you don't stop flying around my head," Victoria hissed, the combination of her earlier annoyance and the sudden pain shooting up her leg not helping her mood. She was thankful that the little twins were just staring at the bottom of her foot with controlled expressions they had no doubt learned from Soundwave. It helped her calm the sudden apprehension of what she thought just happened.

Then Red Alert came along.

"See? See?" he yelled, waving his arms around. "I _told_ you something like this would happen! Now we have to take your foot off."

"No one's taking anyone's foot off!" Ratchet yelled in irritation as he shoved the small crowd of curious mechs aside and stepped up to examine the wound. He took one look at it and glared up at the woman. "Next time you'll listen to me, won't you?"

"Honestly? I don't think my tennis shoes would have kept the nail from reaching my foot." Victoria stopped as a vicious Ratchet-glare was sent her way. "Er- I mean, yes Ratchet. I will listen to you next time."

"That's what I thought." The medic stared at the rusted head of the nail before gently touching the foot around it. Victoria instantly fell onto her back, scrunching her eyes closed and resisting the urge to either kick the mech away or let out a scream that would have possibly drawn the attention of anyone passing by on the main road. Doing a combination of both of those options seemed like a good idea as well. "What the frag did you do? Slam it into your foot as hard as you could?"

"Yes, because I enjoy feeling a nail up my heel," the woman choked out as she fought to keep the tears at bay. She didn't want to start blubbering in front of them, no matter how much pain she was currently in. "Can't you just yank it out already?"

The Autobots watched in quiet trepidation as their medic reached his verdict. The Decepticons thought that the dramatics were unneeded, and the twins started a snide comment about the medic's slowness when Soundwave sent them a silent command to stay quiet. Finally, Ratchet shook his head and took a step back. "From what I've learned, most humans advise against yanking out objects impeded in the body if it isn't a critical situation. I doubt you'll die from having a nail in your foot, but I'd seek actual human medical help instead of attempting to deal with this on your own."

Victoria groaned. "Good because I had no plan on taking it out by myself."

"When'd you get so wimpy?" Sunstreaker said with a scowl as he walked up to stand beside her head instead of stare at her ugly foot. "Suck it up because you were the one dumb enough to step on it."

"Hey! I'm not completely disabled to the point where I can't flick your head off."

Sunstreaker snorted and let Sideswipe and Bluestreak take his place as he walked over to hear what Ratchet was saying to Optimus and Prowl. Unlike his twin, Sideswipe walked up with an easy-going air about him and patted her on the cheek. "It'll be alright. All we need to do is get some human medics up here."

Victoria nodded and sat up, trying not to jostle her injury too much, to pull her phone out of her back pocket. Red Alert was immediately by her side and ordering the phone be put in his possession. "Fine. All you have to do is-"

"Dial 911, ask for ambulance, give location—I got it, I got it!" the SD insisted as he typed the number in without a problem. He noticed her stunned expression and snorted. "You didn't think I had a plan in case something happened to you and we couldn't help? I'm mildly offended by that."

Victoria smiled slightly at his offense. "I just didn't think _you_ of all mechs would care enough."

Red Alert frowned and ducked his helm as the phone rang. "How would we survive here without you?" He trained his optics back on her. "I still don't completely trust you."

"Of course not," Victoria agreed with a sigh as his attention was stolen by the phone. She laid back down and winced as the movement caused some pain. "To think, I made it this whole time without any serious injuries and in the end, I'm done in by a rusty nail."

Sideswipe patted her cheek again. "We all do stupid things at some point in our lives. Me and Sunny almost got squashed by Bruticus because we didn't look both ways before running across a battlefield."

"I almost got ran over as a mechling 'cause I stepped out into the street because I thought if I got on the road like the other adults, I'd learn how to transform earlier," Bluestreak added after some thought. "My carrier wigged out and wouldn't let me leave the apartment for almost a whole orbital cycle."

"That sounds like something you'd do," Sideswipe teased, inspiring a short laugh from the human as Bluestreak fluttered in slight embarrassment. Skywarp looked down at the two with jealousy as he hovered above them. None of his past stupidities were anything funny to laugh about…

"Psst!"

Victoria rolled her head to the other side and found Jazz, dirtied and scratched from crawling around in spaces almost too small for him, standing on the other side. He pointed off to the side once he had gotten her attention. "Ah don't know what 'Jack's box looked like, but is that it? 'Cause Ah only seen that, and it's blue too."

Victoria followed where he pointed and groaned. _"Wheeljack!"_

"What? No!" Wheeljack panicked as he ran from his spot where the serious mechs were huddled together in conversation to grab ahold of her finger. "Don't go into the light Victoria!"

The woman tilted her head to see him properly. "I'm not _dying._ I'm in pain right now, but it isn't that severe."

"False alarm," the engineer said jovially as he released his death grip. "Just thought I'd get some practice in before the real thing. What is it that you wanted to say?"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Well that's not very nice."

Victoria groaned again and pointed at what Jazz had found. "What is that over there under the grill?"

"It looks like-" He stopped to stare at the object in question before turning back to her. "In my defense, that grill was in the shed until _you _moved it out two days ago."

"Who needed room for a roller coaster?" Victoria pointed out as she sat up. "I'm not the one who put the toolbox on the little tray beneath the grill and then forgot they had moved it so that we would be digging through crap for the last hour.

"In my defense…it was only _half_ an hour."

Victoria growled and moved as if to flick him, but Wheeljack was too fast for her and was already out of range as he dashed over to the grill with Sideswipe, who had been silently listening to them. Bluestreak looked back and forth between the two and Victoria before finally deciding to follow when he noticed that Barricade and Thundercracker were following the Autobots' path with their optics.

The woman sighed and looked back at Jazz, who was glaring up at Skywarp since he was the closest Decepticon to them. "How come you're not as happy as usual?"

Jazz glared for a moment as if he hadn't heard her before directing his gaze at her. "Those 'Cons did somethin' ta Mirage."

Victoria looked to Skywarp for confirmation and got a turned helm as an answer. "Is he okay?"

"Prime says Swoop's carin' fo' him," the saboteur answered while crossing him arms.

"And I'm sure Swoop is doing an excellent job," she assured as she carefully shifted her foot around to look at the nail stuck in it. She winced and regretted her curiosity as she saw it for the first time. "Well, I don't think I'll be walking anywhere very soon."

Skywarp descended a little but stopped at the vicious glare he caught the yellow front-liner giving him from where he stood alone off to the side. Victoria ignored the exchange as she tried to find ways to distract Jazz. He seemed to need it a little more than she did at the moment. "I quit my job today."

Jazz looked up with some interest. "That's great!"

"You know, people don't normally congratulate each other for losing their jobs."

"Yeah, but you hated yours," Jazz answered with a small grin. "So, Ah just thought congrats was more appropriate than feelin' bad." His grin was short lived. "What're ya gonna do now?"

Victoria sighed and looked around the yard. Optimus, Prowl, Ratchet, Soundwave, and most of the Cassettes were vaguely grouped together (more like they were divided by an invisible line that neither side crossed); Red Alert was arguing about what constituted as a state of emergency with the 911 operator and that they needed an ambulance _this instant;_ Wheeljack was having an enthusiastic time as he went about reacquainting himself with his invention while Sideswipe and Bluestreak kept an eye on Barricade and Thundercracker; Ironhide was spoiling Nuisance with bully rubs when he thought no one was looking; Starscream was taunting Megatron from the top step of the porch as the Kreon leader cursed and struggled up the steps; and Bonecrusher and Sunstreaker surprised her by arguing over some form of art that the two knew well enough to, well, argue about.

"I think…I'll stay here." Jazz tilted his head as the Cassette twins grew bored and ran over to join them. "I like it up here a lot better than where I currently call home. I can keep the cabin and sell my apartment. 'Sides, I wouldn't be able to keep most of my brother's stuff in that stuffy apartment. Of course, I'll have to go back to Florida for a while to end my lease with the apartment and grab my things, but yeah. I think I'll be calling this place officially home in a few weeks."

Jazz nodded and looked over as Wheeljack yelled to get everyone's attention. "Hey! I'm setting it up to go off in another half an hour. That should be enough time for Vicky and Nuisance to get out of range." He shot a glare towards Thundercracker and Barricade. "Unless someone finds the need to tamper with it."

"Don't tempt me," Barricade growled. "I just want to get back to Cybertron. Screw Megatron's plan of 'dominating every dimension'. If they're anything like this one, I want nothing to do with them."

Red Alert snapped the cell phone shut and dragged it back over to its owner. "Who hired that idiot to his position? He should be demoted immediately! He obviously has no idea how to categorize his priorities emergency wise. You have to wait ten more minutes because someone fell down the steps and broke their leg or something. But I told him that you could be found in the backyard."

Victoria nodded and kept her mouth shut. A broken bone probably ranked higher than a nail up a foot. "Thank you."

Red Alert nodded and stepped aside as Optimus joined them. Victoria and the mech stared at each other for a few still moments before Optimus held out his hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you, and I wish that this was not our last meeting."

Victoria extended her pointer finger and used her thumb to grip his hand and shake. "I should be the saying it was a pleasure. Out of all the people out there, it ended up being me." She snorted a little as they released each other. "I bet a real fan would have been more honored than someone like me, who only knew half of you through her brother."

"I can imagine being stuck in a glass case and ogled at for the rest of our lives," Ratchet said snarkily before nodding at her. "It was nice meeting you kid."

"I'm not sticking around for this mush," Bonecrusher spoke up before anyone else could speak and stalked over to where Barricade was stationed, eerily watching the engineer.

"I'm gonna miss the cookies," Rumble confessed, and his brother nodded. "Screw the rest of the slag we found here." Soundwave thumped the back of the twins' helms for making such rude comments, and Victoria snickered at how "father-like" the act was. Ravage rubbed against her thigh before jumping into Soundwave's chest compartment.

"Our offer still stands," Prowl said quietly when he was sure the Decepticons were too busy to listen in. "We would keep you safe and busy."

Before Victoria could answer, her air was suddenly cut off as something clung to her neck and squeezed. Skywarp glared down at the Autobot. "Frag that! If Vicky's going back with us, she's going with me!"

Prowl's optics brightened in shock at the possessiveness the jet displayed and looked over at Ratchet. The medic shrugged before gaining Jazz's attention, and the two officers hastily headed towards the porch, most likely because Ratchet received a message from Swoop. Optimus looked slightly perturbed by the display, but it was Soundwave who stepped forward. "Victoria remains here."

Skywarp frowned. "Who died and made you boss? I can take her if I want to."

"No you can't," Sunstreaker snarled as Sideswipe and Bluestreak came to back him up after the Decepticons made no move to sabotage. "If she doesn't wanna go, she doesn't have to."

The Seeker glared at them before releasing his human and hovering up to her face. After allowing her to sigh with relief at being able to breathe again, he placed servo on each side of her face and looked her directly in the eye. "Do you really think you could go back to living a normal life after this?" Victoria blinked, but he didn't require an answer. "Do you honestly think you're even supposed to live a _normal_ life? You said it yourself that this could have been anyone: bigger fans, someone with fewer issues, the old man at the store. But out of all the humans on this planet it was _you._ That's not a coincidence—that's a sign that you're meant to do bigger things, like visit an alien planet. You're special and I lo-"

"Skywarp, this is not the time for a confession!"

"I'll confess when I wanna confess!" Skywarp snapped at Thundercracker before turning back to Victoria, who stared at him with wide eyes along with the other mechs around them (who added a gaping mouth or two). He stared at her for a second before glaring at Thundercracker once more. "You happy, TC? You ruined the mood! You are the one who screwed up my kiss this time!"

While Skywarp yelled at his brother, Frenzy poked Rumble in the side and asked, "What just happened?"

"I think 'Warp just said something philosophical."

"…how much longer we got 'til the world implodes?"

Sideswipe snapped his mouth closed as Sunstreaker roughly shoved him. "I think you just got outdone Blue."

Bluestreak glared but didn't say a word. He had already tried to explain to _everyone_ that it was nothing more than platonic love he had for Victoria. A different kind of love that Skywarp thought he was experiencing but that didn't change how upsetting it was to have to leave her behind. He didn't think it was a necessarily good idea for her to return to Cybertron with them, but he wished something would happen to keep her around.

"I'm still going to have to decline," Victoria said after a moment. "I'm flattered that some of you think so highly of me, but I know my limits better than anyone and living on another planet, even if it was in a safe environment, is just too much for me."

Prowl nodded and didn't say another word as he walked over to Wheeljack. He wasn't about to beg her to come even if it was logically the best for most of them. Soundwave nodded as well and might have added something if it weren't for the fact that Laserbeak suddenly ejected from where she had been held for the majority of the day and flew at top speed towards the house. Soundwave's stoic exterior broke for the first time during their stay as he briefly stuttered and chased his errant Cassette after ordering the twins to remain where they were.

"The heck was that about?" Ironhide commented as Soundwave quickly overcame Jazz and Ratchet and scaled the steps in record time to dash into the house after his femme Cassette.

"That love slag Vicky put in 'Beaky's head," Frenzy muttered with a little glare at the woman, who shrugged.

Optimus shook his head and turned to briefly inspect the direction the faint sound of sirens was coming from. He turned back to Victoria and pulled out a familiar wad of paper, which the woman quickly declined. "No, you keep it. We've had this conversation before, and besides when you guys…leave, you'll go back to being what my bother adored most."

The Prime's optics lit up with understanding, and he replaced the gift. "I did not get to know you as well as some of soldiers, but I will not forget you."

"I definitely won't forget any of you," Victoria said with a smile, which faded when she moved her leg the wrong way and realized, once again, that she had a nail up her foot. Maybe if she said it enough times she wouldn't forget. "Ironhide, stop trying to smuggle Nuisance out with you."

"Darn it," the old mech griped while releasing the kitten with a pat. "We tried. You woulda made a fine Autobot."

Nuisance pranced over to snuggle up in Victoria's lap, passing Bluestreak on the way as he patiently waited for both side's twins to wrap up their goodbyes, Sideswipe being slightly dramatic while the Cassettes lamented once more about their loss of cookies. Sideswipe nudged him forward as they walked over to join everyone huddled around the grill where Wheeljack was. Bluestreak huffed and walked up to Victoria. "Good bye."

She stared for a moment before shrugging. "Is that it?"

"Uh," the Praxian stuttered before yelping as he was snatched up. He didn't mind after the initial surprise and huddled up close as she gave him as close to a hug as she possibly could. "I'm gonna miss you a whole lot. I don't have many friends because they can't stand how much I talk, and I mean, I'm on friendly terms with most of the other Autobots and stuff, but they're more like co-workers, and I just-" He stopped and nuzzled into her cheek. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too," Victoria sniffed while holding him out and using her unoccupied hand to rub at her eyes. "Look, you're making me cry, and that doesn't happen often."

Bluestreak laughed, though it was more of a sad, resigned laugh than his normal happy one. Victoria placed him back on the ground. "You stay safe okay? And tell Sideswipe to stop playing matchmaker. He sucks at it."

A true laugh was Bluestreak's response and he meandered as long as he could before joining the others. They would have to hide when the EMTs came around, so this was the last she would ever see them. The next time, they'd just be toys again. It was a sad thought, and Victoria could only remember feeling this way when her brother first left.

"Uh oh."

Victoria snapped her head as she heard those two simple words. "Uh oh" was _never_ a good thing to hear from Wheeljack. "What do you mean 'uh oh'? What did you do?"

"Uh," Wheeljack uttered as he played with the buttons of what was once a calculator. "I might have put the wrong time in…"

"What time Wheeljack?" Optimus demanded as he jumped up to join the engineer.

"Well, I meant to put in thirty minutes because those are the units I can type in with human technology, and that would have been more than enough for Victoria to get out of range, and-"

"Get to the point!" multiple mechs yelled at once, and Optimus sighed in displeasure.

"I might have put in three minutes instead of thirty."

Victoria stared at him with shock, ignoring the pain she felt as she got up to frantically hop over to them and inspect the jumbled wires that his Dimension Bridge mostly consisted of. "Then reset it and put in more time!"

"I can't!" Wheeljack argued as he pressed buttons that were bigger than his hands. "There isn't enough time to do a reset like last time."

"Then how much time do we have?" Rumble said in almost worried tone as he scrambled up to see what the inventor was doing. "Soundwave, Ravage, and Laserbeak are inside. Does that mean they won't be transferred with us?"

"I don't know!" the engineer exclaimed as he tried his best to fix the situation. At least he had contacted Ratchet fast enough, and the medic was dragging an unwilling Jazz back to the group. "I keep saying that I haven't tested this thing at all, so I have no idea what's going to happen."

"Calm down," Prowl said monotonously from the ground. "How much time is left on the timer?"

"Thirty seconds."

Victoria groaned and slumped to the ground, allowing Nuisance to slither away and huddle up next to Ironhide while Bluestreak came to stand beside her. "Why is this happening to me?"

"Twenty seconds now."

Skywarp left Thundercracker's side, despite Thundercracker's disapproval, and hovered in front of Victoria's face. "See? I told you it wasn't a coincidence. You're meant to go back with us despite what you think."

Ten seconds.

Time was running out and Skywarp wasn't about to let this chance pass him by.

Nine.

Thundercracker groaned as the sudden determination hit him in a overwhelming wave, and he slapped his hand over his face. He wasn't about to watch his brother make a fool of himself.

Eight.

Bluestreak glared up at the look in the Seeker's optics.

Seven.

Nuisance yawned and curled up next to Ironhide for a nap.

Six.

Ratchet finally reached the group and wasted no time jumping up to beat the engineer with a wrench while Prowl and Optimus restrained Jazz from running away.

Five.

Bonecrusher felt an urge to purge as he noticed how close Skywarp was getting to the human. Why were the last ten seconds going by so slagging slow?

Four.

Seriously, why were they taking for-slagging-ever? Him and 'Cade were ready to get back to Cybertron already.

Three.

Swoop and Mirage finally staggered out of the cabin, Laserbeak floating above them in circles as Soundwave dragged a struggling Starscream and Megatron behind him.

Two.

Victoria yelped in surprise as a sudden shock zapped the tip of her nose. Her eyes had been closed, waiting for the inevitable, but they had snapped open at the sensation, and she stared in shock at a smirking Skywarp while the Cassettes gagged in the background and Bluestreak looked ready to shoot the Seeker's helm off.

One.

There was only one way to describe the next sensation. It was simple really—one moment they were completely aware of their surroundings. They could hear the sirens growing closer and the sounds of the yard, could feel the mech next to them, and see Skywarp swooping in for another "kiss."

And then there was nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>EDITED: 410/2014**


	25. Epilogue: The Future

**AN: **Here it is: the end of _Pint Sized. _I've gotta admit this was a freakin' awesome story to write. Longer note at the bottom because I don't want to keep you guys from the story ;D

"_Thinking."  
>:Comm. Link:<br>_**~Bond Speech~**

* * *

><p>Pint Sized<p>

Epilogue

The Future

* * *

><p>Big news spreads like wildfire in little towns. So it wasn't surprising to hear that the strange occurrence was the center of gossip the very next day. One of the EMTs that had been on the scene told his wife that night when he came home; she told her friend as they were dropping their kids off for daycare the next morning; her friend told the story to coworkers before their business meeting; each of those coworkers relayed the news through some form of text via phone or social networking site; and so and so forth until the town knew what happened<p>

Or what they _thought_ had happened.

By the time the news had spread, the details had become so convoluted that no one really knew the true story. Some said that the poor girl had been attacked, beaten unconscious, and left to freeze outside. Others concluded after finding out that she had been related to the infamous Eric Anderson that the crazy gene had just been given to her as well, and she had probably offed herself. And still others said that she had been mauled by a wild dog (where that came from, no one knew).

If it was even possible, the truth ended up being the strangest thing of all.

Starting with the phone call, the 911 operator on duty openly admitted that the unknown caller had been strange but nothing to worry about as he had just criticized the worker's choice over what emergencies were more important. The operator, having dealt with his fair share of strange calls, had simply shrugged that off for the caller's worry of his friend.

Then there was the low level sonic boom that the ambulance had run into about halfway up the cabin's driveway. It had freaked the driver out, and he had almost swerved off the drive from the force of it. It came and went within a brief second, and the EMTs had shrugged it off. They also did not put it in their report later because no one else mentioned feeling or even hearing the "sonic boom." They ultimately wrote it off as too much coffee.

When they reached the house, they automatically went to the backyard, as the caller had specified, prepared to assure some panicked man that there was nothing to worry about. Imagine their surprise at finding wood strewn around the yard and a barely smoking lawnmower in the background. After a quick investigation, they had found a woman slumped over by the grill with little action figures and the body of a small kitten bunched underneath it. The EMTs had not bothered to question it as they quickly focused on the unresponsive woman, packing her up into the ambulance and quickly taking her to the local hospital.

The doctors there had been just as stumped by her condition as the EMTs. Other than a nail in the heel of her foot, they could find nothing wrong with her. She was a perfectly healthy person for her age—everything functioning as it should have been, no foreign substances were found in her body after a blood test was ordered, there were no outward signs of struggle other than a few scraps and scratches mostly centered around her feet, and (after finding her medical records) no history of any illness or prescribed medication that would have caused her to just fall into the unconscious state she was in.

A brief investigation was launched when it was discovered that the living room and kitchen of the cabin had been ransacked in hopes of finding answers and inspiring more rumors to fly through the town. It was closed shortly afterwards due to lack of leads and on a request from the woman's father.

He proved to be, perhaps, the strangest piece to the whole story. It did not take long to find out who the woman had been due to the cabin she was found in and the help from the lawyer who came forth after hearing the news of her hospitalization. A brief phone call had brought the man and his tiny family to the little hospital where doctors gently gave him the prognosis. In all aspects, his daughter was fine. Her systems were functioning just fine; only requiring a feeding tube due to her comatose state to receive the nutrition that kept those systems going.

However, she was what the doctors classified as brain dead. As far as they could tell, there was no brain activity other than the section of her brain that controlled bodily function. The only thing keeping her body going was the feeding tube.

While a nurse kept the young boy occupied, the father wept over the state of his daughter while his wife comforted him in any way she could. He had just lost his oldest son little more than a month ago after years of regretful separation, and now the only thing keeping his only daughter alive was a flimsy tube inserted in to her stomach.

For the next few weeks, the tiny family of three moved into the cabin that the police had opened back up after officially closing their investigation. The wife cleaned up to keep herself occupied while their son investigated the house, and the father spent most of his time at the hospital at his daughter's bedside, praying for a miracle that would cause his daughter to open her eyes and chide him for not taking care of himself during those weeks.

A miracle never came, and it was not until he found his son playing with a familiar blue and red toy that he snapped out of his daze.

"Where'd you get that, Benjy?" he asked one morning before leaving the cabin for the hospital.

Benjy, or Benjamin as was his full name, looked up from the bowl of cereal he had been consuming and looked at the toy he had set up on the table beside it. "I found him outside with a lot of other toys." He bent down to pick up a few he had not been allowed to set up on the table and showed them to his father. "These two are bad guys from that movie that I like, but mama won't let me watch 'cause of the fightin' and that girl. This one looks like Optimus, but I'm not sure 'cause he aint got any flames or mouth. His arm falls off a lot, but mama said I could keep 'im. Oh! Look at this one daddy."

The man listened silently as his son began to explain the characters the toys represented. The red and white one was Ratchet because Ratchet was a doctor, and the toy changed into an ambulance. The pure red one was Ironhide for the simple fact that he had a big gun, and though Benjamin did notremember the Autobot ("'Cause that's the name of all the good guys.") very well, Ironhide _always_ carried a big gun. They yellow one he pretended was Bumblebee though he knew that was not the right name, but his knowledge of the Transformers universe was limited to the movie, and the only yellow robot was Bumblebee. The one with the four on its chest was Jazz because of the "sunglasses" he wore. And on and on he went, making up new names and backgrounds for the toys he did not know of and reminding the older gentleman of a long forgotten past of another little boy who had exasperatingly and painstakingly explained to his father who each Transformer was. He regretted never taking the time to sit down and listen to that boy.

He was never an overly emotionally man, but in that moment he felt like hugging his only remaining child close and weeping as he finally came to terms with a decision that he had been fighting against since learning of his daughter's hospitalization.

His wife looked upset as he explained to her later what he was going to do and attempted to protest, but he just sighed in a resigned manner. "Ariel, sweetie, as much as it pains me to do it, I can't just let Vicky lay there for the rest of her life. Remember that day that all I did was pace 'round the house?" She nodded, and he sighed while running a hand through his thinning hair. "I had been talkin' to her earlier that day, and she said somethin' that got me feelin' uneasy. She told me that if anythin' happened to her for me to not dwell on it. To move on with my life and take care of you and Benjy 'cause you two needed me more."

Ariel looked at him with pained blue eyes. "And you think this is how you move on?"

He tightly squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. "You heard the doctors. There really aint no chance of her waking again, and I don't want my baby girl to spend the rest of her life as a vegetable. I know for a _fact_ that Vicky woulda never wanted that. She was like her mama, and her mama refused to be put in that kinda state even if it gave her a few more years 'cause that aint _living._"

It was not as simple as snapping his fingers and having it all over. He stalled for a few more days, still hoping for a last minute miracle and weeping when one did not come. When he spoke with the doctor and informed him of the decision that had been made, he locked himself in that hospital room with no one else except his daughter and came out hours later, dried tear streaks under his reddened eyes that held a grimly resigned look.

By the end of the week Victoria Shay Anderson was officially pronounced dead and her strange story was promptly forgotten by the gossips. However, the memory of the young, independent woman and her estranged brother lived on in their father, who passed down those fond memories to a little boy who would never meet his siblings.

**[~]**

The first thing she noticed was the strange feeling of suspension. It was like floating on her back in a pool only she did not have to worry about the water sneaking its way up her nose. It reminded her of the last time she had stepped foot in a pool when she was ten. Except she had the feeling she did not have to worry about Eric trying to be "funny" and dragging her under the water. No more swimming for Victoria after that.

Wait a minute…why would she be floating? The last thing she remembered was talking to her dad, then finding the living room a mess…the pain of having a nail jabbed up her foot…something with Skywarp and shocking…_Wheeljack!_

Victoria's eyes snapped open as the recent events came spiraling back. For a moment, she had to wonder if her brain was sending the right signals to her eyes. She rapidly blinked, bringing her hands up to her face to make sure they were opening. She was surrounded on all sides by one thing: darkness. Inky, black darkness. And it scared it her in a way that nothing else had ever done.

That serene floating feeling was not so relaxing anymore, and Victoria begin to thrash around, looking for something, _anything_, to grab on to. Wherever she was, there was no up or down, left or right. There was nothing. She could not even see the hands the she was flailing about.

Finally, Victoria stopped, panting from the exertions of her actions and just looked straight ahead. Slowly, she turned her head from right to left, trying to keep the slowly building panic she felt under control. "Wheeljack?"

The woman flinched as her voice somehow echoed through the empty space around her, but that was the only response she got. "Bluestreak? Skywarp? Optimus! Where are you guys?"

The panic she had been attempting to deflect surged through her, and she twisted around, almost pulling her hair out as she tried to keep her hands busy despite the fear she was feeling. "Anybody? Dammit, I'll even take Starscream right now!"

The only sound now was her frantic panting, and her mind struggled to figure out what was going on. "Okay, okay! M-maybe I'm just asleep! This is all a dream." Her reasoning did not help with her panic or the faint pain that was emitting from her chest. "Dammit, you don't feel pain in dreams!"

She curled up on herself, arms wrapped around her knees as she floated in space. The pain in her chest increased as she felt the overwhelming urge to cry as her emotions reached their peak. She had never felt so helpless, so confused, so _utterly alone_ before. She did not like the void she had been propelled into via the Dimension Bridge. She should have at least been with the others, right? They had been together when the device went off—where were they now? This was the fate that Prowl had been attempting to make her choose?

And what was the deal with her heart feeling it was about to rip in half? It was like having a hook impeded into each side, both of them tugging in opposite directions. One of the pulls, the stronger one, was prompting her to what she would consider her right (if she had any sense of direction in this fathomless abyss); the other, much weaker than the first, was urging her to the left. Each pull was playing a vicious game of tug-of-war that made her feel like she was about to rip in half.

Victoria choked on a sob as the pain became almost unbearable. And she thought the worst pain she would ever have to endure was the one time when she broke her leg in two places when she was six! "Please, I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be alone. I'll even go to Cybertron if it gets me out here!"

For a split second, she did not feel so alone. In fact, she felt the overwhelming presence of another, one that felt greatly concerned while at the same time emitting guilt. Instinctively, she tried to grab hold of that odd presence, but of course, she did not understand how to. By the time she figured out that it wasn't something she could physically grasp, the presence had been shut out and attempting to find it once more was like running into a reinforced steel wall.

The next few moments had her gasping in pain as a searing burn flashed through her, taking that wall along with it and making her feel disturbingly empty. Victoria balanced in that air of nothing for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened before realizing that that tugging feeling she had experienced had vanished. The weaker pull was gone while the stronger one, which she vaguely realized was more than one "presence" woven together like a rope, wrapped around her and tugged her in the same direction it had been pulling earlier.

Without the other "hook" urging her in the opposite direction, Victoria was able to focus on one direction, allowing herself to be pulled along. She blinked at the sudden appearance of a small pinprick of light, and struggled to twist around and reach for it. She wanted _out _of this dead place, and dammit, she wasn't about to let a chance to do just that pass her by! Wherever it took her, she did not care. The rope pulling her around was taking her in that direction, and that was all the prompting she needed.

It was difficult to maneuver because she was basically running (more like swimming actually) on air, but the light slowly grew from a little orb until it was the only thing that filled her vision. Without a second thought, the young woman reached out as if to grasp the light in her hands and felt a sudden pressure surrounding her before blacking out.

**[~]**

"…time…up…"

"Vic…get up!"

"Vicky, sweetheart, it's time to wake up!"

Victoria felt a hand gently shake her as another just as gently combed through her hair. For a moment, she basked in the gentle ministrations and the softness that surrounded her before the annoying shaking returned, making her squeeze her eyes tightly shut. Why couldn't the shaking just go away? She wanted to sleep! "Sweetie, it's time to wake up. You can't just sleep all day!"

Victoria tensed at the painfully familiar voice. Well obviously she was dreaming now. Why couldn't her subconscious let her rest in peace? And what was with the freaking shaking? Seriously, it was more annoying than having Swoop poke her in the cheek until she woke up!

"Mom, hurry up! Our shows are about to come on!"

"I'm trying Eric, but you know how deep of a sleeper your sister is."

Victoria's eyes snapped open, and it took her a few precious seconds to focus on the person within her line of vision. Shock coursed through her, and the only thing she could do was gap at the woman beside her.

Her mother chuckled at her, the bright smile that she remembered so clearly from her childhood beaming down at her. "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"I told you not to let her watch that ghost movie," her father's voice commented as his heavy steps passed by the room. "She's too young to be watchin' that junk."

"Nu uh, ghosts are cool," the second voice commented. "_Casper_ wasn't scary anyways!"

"Then why have you been jumping at every little thing for the last month, boy?"

Victoria struggled from the comforter to gap at the little blonde boy huffing in the doorway. Eric noticed her gaze upon turning back around and a smile brightened his face. "Come on Vicky! We're gonna miss our show and today's episode is brand new!"

The mother smiled as her oldest child ran off and turned back to the youngest when she felt faint touches along her shirt. "What's wrong baby?"

"You're really here?" Victoria asked, noticing how small and childlike her voice sounded as her equally small hand rubbed the sleep from her eyes. When she looked back up, she found that the vision of her mother was still there. "It's not a trick, is it? A dream?"

"Of course I'm here sweetie," her mother said with a light chuckle as she combed her fingers through Victoria's messy raven hair. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Victoria sniffed. The sight of her mother, a woman who had been dead for nearly twelve years, was playing all sorts of tricks with her emotions. She did not know whether to laugh, cry, or write it all off as some hallucination. And by the small tint of sadness that the older woman tried so hard to hide, but could easily be seen now that Victoria knew what to look for, this must have been around the same time her grandfather had passed away. That would make her _eight years old._ What was going on?

"Here," her mother started, standing up from the bed and moving over to dig a pair of shorts and a random t-shirt out of the dresser that was standing against the wall not far from her. "Why don't you get dressed, and I'll go down and whip you and you brother up a batch of pancakes?" After placing the two articles of clothing on the foot of the bed, she bent down to kiss her daughter on the top of her head. "Don't keep your brother waiting for long. He was really excited about seeing that new episode!"

Victoria blinked as the woman smiled and left the room. Now alone, she took the time to examine the room from the bed she sat on, still dazed by the sudden events. She could only vaguely remember what her childhood room looked like but the purple walls were definitely remembered as well as the hissy fit she had thrown when her parents had tried to paint it pink. Her walls were covered with Eric's pictures, and she briefly skimmed over them to scan the trinkets that were lined up on her dresser—the little angels that she had received on every birthday up until her mother's death (eight was the highest number, her mind subconsciously catalogued), Beanie Babies that mostly included cats, and a simple lamp that any child could turn on.

Her eyes finally landed on the piece of furniture directly across from her bed, and she froze. It was a simple vanity set, no cause for alarm, that held a little jewelry box, piggy bank, and a scattering of little Polly Pockets that looked as if they had been haphazardly thrown up there the day before. But none of that interested Victoria as she climbed out of the bed and slowly walked over to it, keeping a close eye on the little girl the mirror reflected back at her. Her hair looked like a bird's nest, she was dressed in a Disney princess nightgown, and there were random Band-Aids up and down her arms and legs that signified a child who liked to play hard.

She reached out and touched image with wide grey eyes. _"This can't be me. I'm twenty five years old—a woman! What is going on?" _She brought her hand back to her side and studied them both with a critical eye, finding her usually perfect nails bitten down to the skin and a couple of scars on the palms of her hands from playing too hard. _"Was –was that all a dream?"_

"Hey, sleepy head!" Victoria twirled around to see Eric—her brother!—peeking around the doorjamb to look at her. "What's takin' so long? Are ya gonna look in the mirror all day or what?"

Despite her confusion, Victoria could not resist the smile that bubbled up from within her. Eric had always been impatient to get to his cartoons on Saturday mornings. It was a ritual that they would wake up at the earliest time possible and sit down in front of the TV, enjoy a plate of pancakes made special by their mom, and become absorbed with what they watched that day. Afterwards, probably around lunchtime, they would run into the backyard and reenact anything that had caught their interest and begin a storyline for the next episode that would keep them busy until supper.

"Come on!" he moaned impatiently after realizing all his sister was going to do was stand there and dopily smile at him. "_Iron Man_'s coming on next, and I don't wanna miss anything!"

Victoria's smile suddenly fell. Iron Man? Eric had never been interested in superheroes like that… "What about _The Transformers_? Does that still come on?"

It was Eric's turn to look at her with confusion as he stepped fully into the room. "_The Transformers_? What's that?" He suddenly scowled and put his hands on his narrow hips. "Have you been watching the cartoons after dark? Daddy says we can't watch those Vicky!"

Victoria frowned as she stepped up to her brother and stared directly into his face. This behavior was odd for little Vicky, and her brother looked surprised that she could stare so critically at him, like how their mom did when she knew they were lying about something. "You've never heard of it? What about Ratchet? Megatron? _Optimus Prime?"_

Eric shook his head and looked at his little sister with worry. "No, I've never heard of those." Victoria almost pouted as he put a hand on her forehead. "Are you okay? Do I need to get mama? Or maybe you just dreamed all that up? Yeah, it musta been a dream." The little blond missed his sister's torn expression as his head whipped around at the sound of their mother calling them. "Oh boy, pancakes are done! Last one there is rotten egg!"

Victoria did not bother to chase after him as he dashed out of the room. She looked back at the mirror, her eyes scanning the image that it reflected back. Had it really just been a dream?

A faint and brief tugging in her chest told her otherwise, but Victoria was at a lost for what to believe at this point.

**[~]**

The next few weeks were not only physically draining but also emotionally taxing. For one, Victoria had forgotten the last time she had played so hard. Eric kept her busy with his many imaginative games. One day, they would be Spiderman and his amazing friend, the next they would take a break from superheroes and army crawl across the yard as Joes (which was funny when she finally stopped to think about it. G.I. Joe belonged to Hasbro, so where were the Transformers?). It was ridiculously fun, and Victoria loved to spend the time with her brother even if it meant collapsing on her bed at the end of the day with aches and pains in places that she never knew existed.

The emotional part was not as fun. With her new perspective of basically being a twenty five year old in a child's body, it amazed Victoria at how much she had overlooked as a kid. Her mom was suffering even as she smiled so brightly for her children, and their mother's depression was taking a toll on their dad too. Victoria now understood the muted conversations she stumbled across, and she silently cried right along with her mother as the woman broke down in privacy.

Not only did she understand her mother's depression more clearly, she was also struggling with an inner turmoil of her own. There was no denying that her past experience was real. It would be like a person trying to deny who they were. Victoria was still mentally an older Victoria, no matter what age she looked like on the outside. It was hard sometimes to just let go and be a kid again, and she realized that her tiny family was noticing the struggle because they constantly asked if she was alright. She would just smile and answer positively before retreating back to her inner thoughts.

There was also the issue of what she was feeling inside that she could not necessarily explain. There were multiple times when the Tugging (as she had officially dubbed it) would occur, kind of like it was trying to ask "Are you there?" There were multiple nights when Victoria would lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and attempting to answer the pulls and sometimes smiling in victory as she managed to do just that it.

There were three distinct presences that she had been able to identify whenever they appeared—one was the one that asked the "Are you there?" question and seemed to be getting stronger as the days passed; one of them was slightly weaker and usually appeared when she was feeling overwhelmed by pretending to be an ignorant, happy-go-lucky child and somehow teased her back into a good mood; another was barely there at all but often accompanied the second one and stuck around a little while longer to make sure she was fine before abruptly shutting her out again. There was a fourth one too, but it was completely sealed off as if to block her out.

Victoria would often feel the phantom pain of the one that had disconnected from her in what she theorized was the gap between dimensions Wheeljack had worried over every once in a while. It often came in the wake of the others, but it was slowly fading away as the days passed. Victoria felt as if she should not allow it to fade, but she had a hard time figuring out how to hold onto it. It was hard enough just to learn how to _respond_ to the others.

One night after successfully responding to the presence that had been growing stronger every day, she asked herself why she was even attempting to answer it back. The question had rattled around in her head throughout the next day, until she was once again in bed, feeling the tugs. She had finally countered the question with another: why not? It wasn't making her crazy; if anything, it was probably what kept her sane. They were a constant reassurance as she tried to acclimate to her new life.

But she was also constantly worried. What had happened to the others? Had they made it back home? Were the stuck in a place like she was, having to pretend that they were someone they weren't? Were they—she shuttered at this thought—stuck back in that dark place that she had been in for a brief amount of time?

Questions like those were constantly plaguing her, and it got to the point when her parents started questioning what was wrong and a simple smile did not deter them. Even right now they were talking about doctors that Victoria_ really_ did not need at the moment. The last thing she wanted was to be considered crazy at such a young age (and talking about alien robots would have gotten her labeled as such), so she just dealt with her own worries in private and tried to behave normally in front of everyone.

It was the only thing she could do.

**[~]**

Victoria was not in any type of mood to play with her brother that day. Eric had come up to her room earlier to try and coax her into coming into the backyard to play soccer with him and Buddy (_"Steeljaw,"_ she would constantly substitute anytime she saw the lovable dog). The woman-turned-child had turned him down in favor of sitting at her vanity/desk and writing in what one would label a "diary." It wasn't so much a book to document her everyday life in, but she did use it as a way to vent whatever she was feeling that could not be expressed to anyone else. Like how much she missed seeing the mechs every day.

She suddenly sneezed, and it was strong enough to make her drop the pen she had been holding. Well. That was strange. Normally, she was able to anticipate sneezes and keep herself from completely soiling the paper she was writing on.

"Hey girly." The little girl turned to see her dad standing in the doorway, one hand casually resting on the doorjamb. "Me and your brother are gonna go greet the new neighbors. Why don't you come with us."

Quite frankly, Victoria did not care about who had moved into the house across from them. She had not even glanced at the house when the first car had started appearing in the driveway and only knew that the family might have been rich because the topic of one of the family's supper conversations had been the description of three different vehicles that her dad had witnessed coming and going from the house. But she could hear the subtle order in her father's voice and figured that he just wanted to get her out of the house. Either way, the suggestion was non-negotiable.

With a sigh, Victoria hoped off of the chair and attempted to merrily skip over to her father. It failed when she tripped on thin air, but it also caused her father to chuckle, so it ended up being okay in her book. Her tiny hand was encompassed by his large, calloused one, and they trudged down the stairs together to meet her impatient brother by the door. She allowed him to grasp her other hand and roughly swing it between them as all three of them crossed the street to meet the family that had moved in across from them.

Lucky for them, their new neighbor was already outside hauling strange parts out of the back of his white pickup truck. Victoria noted the odd green decals that stretched along the side of the truck and paid little attention to her father as he greeted the stranger with a loud and cheerful, "Howdy new neighbor!"

None of them had any idea how it happened, but one moment Victoria was reaching out to touch the strangely familiar designs and the next she was swept up into a surprisingly strong pair of arms and almost squeezed to death. "You were so adorable when you were tiny!"

Victoria gagged as the man unknowingly strangled her while commenting on her "cuteness." Her dad and brother watched in silent shock from the sidelines, not knowing what to do, until Eric asked, "Dad, why is he choking Vicky?"

The little girl was released as quickly as she had been snatched up, and the man took a few steps back, waving his hands in apology. "Sorry, sorry. It's just you're daughter's adorable. I only have…sons and always wanted a daughter."

Victoria noticed the brief flash of grief when the man mentioned his sons but dismissed it as she examined him. She needed to know what the man who had strangled her, whether by accident not, looked like so that she could avoid him in the future if she needed to.

His overall appearance was…chaotic. From head to toe there seemed to be something out of place. His curly black hair was frazzled and sticking out from his head in an almost comical way, a pair of goggles keeping it out of his face from where they were strapped around his head, which held twinkling dark blue eyes and a scratch or two that did nothing to distract from the jovial smile that spread across his tanned, handsome face. The once white lab coat he wore was stained with all sorts of colors or blackened spots and covered a dark green button up shirt that was tucked into brown khakis on one side while the other side was haphazardly sticking out. Those khakis were stuffed into brown boots that were scuffed and showed signs of just falling apart on the spot.

There was no doubt in her mind that she would ever forget this man's "nutty professor" appearance.

The stranger began to animatedly speak to her father, introducing himself as Jack, stating the reason for their move (apparently he had taken a position at the local high school as a chemistry teacher), ad describing his two boys, both of whom he assured would most likely be best friends with Victoria and Eric by the end of the day.

"_Not likely," _Victoria thought to herself with a scrunched up nose and noticed how her brother was zooming out, his eyes darting around as he searched for something, _anything,_ to entertain him while the adults set up play dates. The familiar tugging suddenly appeared, as it often did during odd times of the day, except this time it had morphed from questioning tugs to a tout pull, as if to command "Come here!"

Victoria whipped her head around, her long, ebony hair slapping her cheek from the force of the turn. The pull urged her in that direction, and she spared a glance at the three males before creeping along the driveway that weaved around to the back of the house. She spared a few more glances over her shoulder until she could no longer be seen.

The pull momentarily morphed into confusion before transforming into excitement. It gave her the impression of someone jumping around, waving his hands in the air, and yelling "Here, here!" Victoria examined her surroundings, finding an overgrown backyard that looked as if it had not been cut for years (not surprising since, according to her parents, no one had lived there for a while). The grass tickled her scrawny calves as she walked through it. Her eyes landed on the carport that the driveway led too, and she tilted her head as she headed towards it.

Two more cars were located underneath it, one that had a slick blue and red paintjob and another that seemed ordinary in comparison, but both were the same model. It was the latter of the two—the solid grey car—that caught her attention and drew her in.

The feeling inside, the one that was not her own, made her feel as if she was about to burst with joy as the little girl carefully touched the part of the car above the back wheel She dragged her hand along the side as she walked towards the hood of the vehicle, trying to figure out why it looked familiar.

It was on the tip of her tongue when she reached the front and someone suddenly jumped out from nowhere. "Victoria!"

The little girl released a shrill scream, making the boy who appeared to be the same age as her take a step back in shock. Both of the cars under the port jolted, but that went unnoticed as Victoria allowed the eight-year old instincts that had come with her new body to propel her out of the port and to the front of the house.

All that mattered at the moment was that "Big Victoria" had watched one too many horror movies and people jumping out at you was never a good thing. There was no room for logic or calming down and assessing the situation. She was scared, and according to the unwritten laws of children, daddy was _always_ able to keep her safe. So she sprinted to the front yard while yelling "Daddy!" and collided with his legs, ignoring the looks she had gained from her actions.

After the initial surprise, Victoria's dad knelt down and attempted comfort his freaked out daughter. "Now calm down. What happened, and what were you even doing back there?"

Victoria chose to ignore the second question and pointed towards the house. "Somebody jumped out at me!"

Eric snickered at hearing the reason, and Victoria glared in his direction. Her dad sighed as Jack rubbed the back of his head with an apologetic smile. "Well, I'm sure that's not the way my, uh, _son_ wished to meet you."

Victoria received a pat on the head before her dad forced her to let go and face the boy that had chased after her, who had been joined by a second boy closer to Eric's age. The little boy looked back at her with repentant, luminescent, blue eyes, his messy, golden blond hair falling in front of those pretty eyes. Victoria glared at him with heavy suspicion, not swayed by his baby face or the apologetic tug she was getting at the moment. She viciously blocked the last thing out and thought it was strange that the boy in front of her noticeably flinched.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to," her father was repeating, and she turned to glare at him as well. How could he be so casual when she had just had a mini-heart attack? "What's your name son?"

"Blake," he said slowly, as if testing the name out for the first time. He nodded at his father in approval and went back to smiling at Victoria. "I'm Blake, and I hope you can forget that back there. I really didn't mean to scare you; I was just excited to see you agai...er, see another person my age again. My _dad_ usually picks neighborhoods to live in that only have really old people. Not that being old is bad or anything. It's just a little harder to make friends."

Victoria glanced between her neighbors—the crazy dad, the cherub devil in disguise, and the kid that was staring at her brother with a strangely vacant expression. Was she the only one that noticed how they emphasized stuff, like the status they held in their little family unit? Wasn't it the least bit strange that they sounded like they had never introduced themselves? Wasn't _anyone_ suspicious as to why none of them even looked alike, let alone related?

Apparently not because her dad chuckled at the kid's long winded speech before turning back to Jack, and Eric was currently making friends with the still strangely empty faced older boy. Blake shuffled in front of her, suddenly shy, but her suspicion just grew. The tugging had turned into apologetic tugs, and that was when she decided that she had had enough for the day. "Daddy, I don't feel good. I'm gonna go see what mama's doing."

Her dad nodded and went back to talking to the other man, and Victoria ignored the sad and hurt expression on Blake's face as she turned around and headed back to her house. Even if she had not been overly suspicious of them, Victoria just was not ready to make friends in her age group. It was hard enough to pretend around her family; she did not feel like extending that to outsiders yet.

**[~]**

For the next week, Victoria conveniently forgot about the tiny family across street. She stuck to the little schedule she had created: get up, eat breakfast, play hard with Eric until lunch, eat, spend time with her mom that mostly involved sitting beside her while watching her arrange the current wedding she was hired for, have some time for herself, eat supper, spend time with her dad in front of the TV, go to bed and stay up as long as she could playing with the tugs that were still insistent yet had a sad underlining to them now, and fall asleep to start the cycle all over again the next day. Very boring but somehow contentedly reminiscent of her old life.

She would have been happy to remain blissfully ignorant of her neighbors. Of course, the crackpot dad had to go and blow up his backyard.

Victoria had been in her own backyard with Eric, playing a little skit that involved the X-Men today, when it happened. Both of them had freaked out at the explosion and ran to the front to see their mom dashing out onto the front porch, phone in hand and most likely calling the house where their dad had been scheduled to finish constructing an underground pool. They all froze at the sight of a small mushroom cloud drifting upwards from the backyard of the house across the street.

"Oh my God," her mom gasped, changing her plans and swiftly punching three keys on the phone. "I hope no one's been hurt."

Eric gaped at the dispersing cloud of smoke as he tried to calm their barking dog. "What just happened?"

Victoria snapped out of her shock and dashed across the street, ignoring her mother's frantic yells. Even if the family was screwed up, she was not about to stand on the sidelines when one of them could be severely hurt. Besides, she had learned a lot on how to deal with explosions with Wheeljack around the house.

Her mom was still yelling when Victoria swerved around the corner of the house and froze. Well…the grass was now short…and on fire! Her first instinct was to find a hose and _fast_ before the whole yard went up in flames. The search yielded a water spigot jutting out of the house, and she rushed over to it even as the grinding of metal and gears caught her attention. She slowed to a stop and stared wide eyed as a familiar mech bent over to stay hidden behind the house and pat the ground to put out the relatively small fire compared to his size. "Well, that didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Guess that means it's back to the drawing board."

Her jaw worked up and down as the mech remained unaware of her presence, facial fins flashing lightly as he muttered to himself. She finally snapped her mouth closed, and she took one step forward. "Wheeljack?"

The engineer froze and looked up to finally notice the little girl. His fins brightened in his grinning way, and he abandoned the smoldering patch of grass to crouch down as close to the ground as he could in front of her. "It's about time you visited. We were starting to get worried that you were shunning us."

Victoria surprised him by reaching out and lightly touching his blast mask. "Is it really you?"

"Of course it is! Who else could explode so wonderfully?" He gently poked her with a finger twice her size. "Are you, you? Bluestreak got pretty upset when you shut him out, but I guess he got over it because you opened back up the same night."

She stared at him in bewildered surprise, blinking as the distant sound of sirens began to register through her shock. Wheeljack looked towards the sound as well and sighed. "Great. I've gotta sweet talk the firefighters again. Can you believe that this has happened over a dozen times since we touched down on Earth seven years ago? I was happy when our neighbors started ignoring us."

Victoria watched as Wheeljack stepped back and began to fold in on himself, armor shifting to fit together like a puzzle until a white pickup truck with green stripes on the sides sat in front of her. The driver's door opened and out popped the crazy father, dusting off his shirt and straightening his coat. He looked up and smiled, and she could easily see that grin on the real Wheeljack's face if he had not always had it covered. "How do I look?"

"You look like you just exploded," she answered truthfully.

"Great! Maybe they'll go ahead and catch on that this will be a common occurrence," he said gleefully as he walked towards her. The smile dropped a little when he made it over to her, and he carefully placed his hands on the top of her shoulders. "We _really_ need to speak once all the hysteria settles down."

"I don't think my mom will let me come back over after this," Victoria answered automatically as her mind was still trying to catch up. This was unbelievable. _Wheeljack_ was living across the street from her…oh dear God. That meant the neighborhood might not be standing for much longer.

Wheeljack patted her on the shoulders, ignoring the sudden look that her epiphany had spread across her face. "Well, sneak out later or something. Tonight around twelve? Not many humans are up past that time, so it should be safe for us to talk one-on-one, and Bluestreak should be back by then."

Victoria automatically looked over at the carport and noticed that the two cars that had been sitting under it the other day were missing. It was then that the name Wheeljack had said so casually finally registered with her. That would explain why the grey car had looked so familiar—it had looked like a slightly updated version of Bluestreak's alt-mode. So since the crazy dad popped out of Wheeljack, then…oh no.

Guilt washed over her as she finally realized what she had done over a week ago. She had inadvertently shunned Bluestreak the first day they had "met" and continued to do so by acting busy whenever the neighbor boys came over to play. No wonder "Blake" had looked so hurt.

Seeing her guilt written so plainly on her face, Wheeljack patted the top of girl's head while listening to the emergency vehicles skid to a stop in front of his house. "Hey now, Blue understands. You didn't know it was us."

Victoria sniffled as the urge to cry overcame her, whether from joy or guilt. While she did continue to feel remorseful for her actions, she was overjoyed by the fact that Wheeljack and Bluestreak were living across from her. She was not as alone as she had felt before, and maybe they could explain what had happened.

Her questions were put off though as two firefighters ran around the house with her mother not far behind. Victoria was shuffled back over to her house as Wheeljack began to explain what had happened in his cheerful way, getting a dressing down by the lead firefighter about the danger of handling explosive materials and inciting panic throughout the neighborhood. Eric was eager to hear from her what she had seen, but Victoria was too preoccupied with the thought of the planned meeting that night to pay much attention to him.

**[~]**

Victoria glared at her bedroom door as she shuffled from foot to foot, tugging on the oversized shirt she had thrown over her two piece nightgown as soon as she had been sure her parents had fallen asleep. On the nightstand beside her, a digital clock, which she had requested during a shopping trip instead of the ritual toy, flashed five minutes before midnight. She took a deep breath. It was now or never. All she had to do was open the door and sneak out of the house.

There was only one problem to that simple task: she had never snuck out of the house before. Even as a teenager, she had never felt the need to. Although that stemmed from the fact that she never had anywhere to sneak out _to_, but she decided to ignore that fact. She was a grown woman; she could sneak out of the house…so why was it so hard for her to even open her own door?

"_Screw it," _she finally decided, reaching for the doorknob and turning it slowly. _"If I get in trouble, I get in trouble. The worst they can do is ground me, but I don't think you ground kids as young as I am. You take away a favorite toy or TV privileges, and I can survive that. You also break their trust in you for the rest of your adolescent life, but hey, that's a small price to pay."_ She paused creeping down the stairs. _"Well, that thought didn't help."_

Victoria made it to the front door without attracting any attention, having a mini-panic attack along the way when she realized her dad was laid up in his favorite chair in the living room snoring as the channel he had been watching lit up the otherwise dark room. She cringed as the door squealed open and glanced over her shoulder as she waited a few precious seconds, expecting her dad to suddenly appear and start questioning her.

Once she had closed the door behind her, the girl dashed across the dimly lit street, trying to stay in the circle of light the street lamps provided to avoid feeling smothered by the darkness around her, and automatically ran to the back of Wheeljack's house. She had been expecting them to be up and waiting for her, so she was vaguely surprised to see their choice of alt-mode sitting quietly in or beside the carport, looking for all the world like ordinary vehicles.

"_I imagined the whole thing," _Victoria concluded after staring at the two vehicles for a couple of minutes. She suddenly noticed how dark it appeared in the backyard and felt a panicked flutter go through her. _"I am going crazy. Maybe I should go talk to those doctors…"_

The pickup suddenly rumbled to life and began to break apart and form the shape of the bulky mech it really was, his headlights flashing on to illuminate the yard. Wheeljack stretched for a moment, hidden noisily gears grinding together. "Primus, I never thought staying in vehicle mode would be so taxing on my old gears." He rubbed his elbow joint before noticing Victoria standing off to the side watching him. "Oh! You're early."

Victoria ducked her head, suddenly feeling shy for some reason. It was like meeting them all over again with the size reversal. She felt a searing flash of excitement and anticipation before the car rolled out from under the carport and began shifting parts. Soon a familiar face was bent down beside her, the red chevron prominent on his helm and periwinkle blue optics flashing with excitement as he stared down at her tiny form. "I'm so sorry for scaring you earlier! I really didn't mean to, but I didn't think before turning the holomatter generator on. I was just so happy to see you again, and I couldn't transform without giving myself away, and I'm so sorry!"

The shyness she felt slipped away as she reached up to touch the face that towered over her. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to shut you out or anything. You and Wheeljack were just acting so weird."

"But we've been perfecting our human act for seven years now!" Wheeljack said, sounding like he was pouting. "Your dad didn't seem bothered."

"That's because guys don't notice things like women do," Victoria pointed out, giggling as Bluestreak poked her in the side with a tiny shock that made her giggle louder. He looked surprised by how small she really was up next to him. "The third guy was just creepy. You should tell him to work on actually looking and acting like something more than a mannequin."

"Smokescreen's experimenting with something along the lines of first impressions," Wheeljack explained, carefully crouching down close by and seeming to not want to interfere with her and Bluestreak's reunion. "He's interested in seeing how they play a part in human relationship development. I tried telling him it was the same way with us, but he doesn't seem to believe it."

"Whatever impression he made, my brother seems to almost love him," the little girl answered with an eye roll. "It's 'Shawn this' and 'Shawn that.' I've had to tune him out a lot of times."

Wheeljack chuckled before growing serious. "How have you been adjusting?"

Victoria shrugged as Bluestreak sat down in front of her. "I'm okay. It was weird the first few days, but I've grown used to it over the last two months."

Bluestreak tilted his head while Wheeljack looked astonished. "You've only been here for two human months?" She nodded, wondering about the engineer's shock and the fact that Bluestreak looked as if he had already known. Wheeljack rubbed his right fin in frustration. "Even if Optimus hadn't specifically ordered me to put the idea of the Dimension Bridge to rest, I wouldn't have tampered with it again. None of this is making sense, and it's annoying the pit outta me!"

Victoria hesitated before moving to the engineer, placing a tiny hand on his bulky leg armor. "What doesn't make sense?"

"A lot of things," he said exasperatedly as he reached down to pick her up. She gasped at the loss of stability and grasped the finger he curled around her to ensure she would not fall off and splatter to her death. "For one, all of us were plopped down at different times in this dimension. As far as I know, Optimus, Ratchet, and Ironhide 'woke up' around the same time a little before the war began. The original Jazz here suffered grievous injuries on a mission, and when Ratchet brought him back online, it was our Jazz, wondering what was going on and why he was already sprawled on the Hatchet's work table. Prowl, Red Alert, the Twins—they showed up at some of the oddest times."

"I came online right after Praxus fell," Bluestreak supplied quietly, his door-wings slumped. "At least I didn't have to witness that again."

Wheeljack looked at him with an air of sympathy before continuing. "We were starting to get worried that you might have been lost like-" He cut off abruptly, and Victoria thought that she saw something glint on the edge of his optics before it vanished. The engineer shook his helm and continued. "But the mech's that had forged bonds with you assured us that you were still there. They could feel your presence over the bond, but they couldn't pinpoint where you were."

Victoria allowed her brows to furrow in confusion. "What bonds? I didn't 'bond' with anyone…what are bonds?"

The Autobots looked surprised by her question for a moment before realizing that, as a human, Victoria really was not aware of what bonds were. Victoria vaguely remembered Prowl mentioning them once before, but he has not gone into much detail. Bluestreak was the first to speak as he carefully took her from Wheeljack's hand. "You've been feeling emotions that aren't yours, right? A sort of tugging sensation?" She nodded and suspiciously looked up at him. How did he know that?

"The way our sparks work is still a complete mystery," Wheeljack continued for the sharpshooter. "Every mech and femme knows that the spark is our life-force. We can transfer our sparks to other frames and still be us, but once it goes out, we're gone. Our group knows, even if the rest of population here finds it an archaic practice, that when two sparks interact with one another, there is a chance that another spark can be created. Those are really the only two _definite_ facts that we know. No one understands how or why our sparks are able to create bonds with others, though we do know how it happens in some cases. On top of that, there are multiple types of bonds: a bond between parent and creation, lovers, siblings, and Guardians with whoever they're put in charge of.

"You, on the other hand," Wheeljack said, reaching over to poke her in the chest (which basically meant her whole body because his finger was _ginormous_), "are a complete and utter mystery. By all means, we shouldn't even be able to bond with you because you lack a spark. Now Ratchet thinks it has something to do with the fact that when we first appeared in your dimension, our sparks didn't have the normal barriers that protected them. So the mechs that hung around you the most and felt closest to you formed fledgling bonds during that short period. How it happened is still a mystery that will most likely never be solved, but now we have another mystery on our hands."

"When we were being teleported here, we didn't have any physical barriers to separate us," Bluestreak took up, reiterating what had already been explained to him, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker. "Our sparks and your soul were able to complete the bonds that had started to develop." He held her close to his chest, and Victoria gasped at the warmth emitting from his center. Inside of her, she felt the tugging (the bond) that had been growing stronger every day suddenly became so overwhelming that it momentarily blocked out the other bonds. It slowly dissipated into a more bearable sensation, but it didn't bother her as she put her cheek against his armor to listen to the droning of his spark. It was a very pleasant sensation.

But something was nagging at the back of her mind, and after a few moments, Victoria finally sat up and looked back over at Wheeljack. "What happened to the one that disconnected?" Wheeljack's bright optics dimmed, and he looked so pained that Victoria ducked her head back against Bluestreak, letting her question go unanswered. Bluestreak felt her guilt and sent her a burst of reassurance that had her asking another question. "How do you do that? Can you teach me?"

"Later," Bluestreak said, looking over at Wheeljack for a moment. "You should probably get back home before your creators find you missing." The little girl outwardly pouted, making him laugh. "We're not going anywhere! Optimus approved our journey to Earth under the premise of finding alternate energy resources, but the real reason we're here was to find you. We were kind of surprised that you didn't end up on Cybertron with us like Nuisance did."

The expression on her face had both mechs laughing. "What? _Nuisance_ gets to go to Cybertron while I'm just plunked down in a prepubescent form of myself? I might not have wanted to go to begin with, but I feel cheated right now."

Bluestreak laughed. "Yep, Ironhide found the little guy in the body of a cybercat. The only reason he knew it was Nuisance was because animals on our planet usually run away instead of towards him. That and the feline was 'a natural Autobot.'"

Victoria laughed along with him and scooted closer to feel his spark once more. Being in this familiar yet strange place did not seem so bad now that she had others around who understood her plight. She had been gradually adjusting on her own, but she got the feeling that it would be so much easier now that she knew Wheeljack and Bluestreak were not so far away. She also felt like they were omitting some stuff, but if they were sticking around, then she would eventually get the whole story.

Until then, she had a lot of work cut out for her. It had just occurred to her that she would have to live out the majority of her life _again._ School, her mom's death, the chance of her brother leaving again—all of the crap that had basically turned her into the anti-social person she had been before meeting the Autobots and Decepticons.

Bluestreak put her down, and he and Wheeljack transformed once more. The older mech rolled underneath the carport to power down, but Bluestreak remained where he was until a flickering appeared in front of his hood. Within minutes, "Blake" stood in front of her, cute dimples appearing as he sweetly smiled at her. She smiled back and accepted the hand he held out to her, allowing him to walk her back home.

Victoria got a feeling that her second chance at life would turn out to be a whole lot different than what she had originally anticipated.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Going to Cybertron was too expected, so Victoria just got turned into a 8 year old :P At least she's got Bluestreak and Wheeljack!

Anyway, this is the official end of _Pint Sized_ :( But I do have a sequel in the planning stages right now :D When it ever gets posted is a question I cannot answer. I need to focus on my schoolwork right now or run the risk of failing a class I've barely even started, which sucks because I actually like that class. I do, however, have a working summary of it already posted up on my profile if you wish to take a quick look at it and see if it's something you'd be interested in :) Anything that might have felt unresolved or unanswered will most definitely be addressed in the sequel.

Much appreciation to _Beowulf828,_ who stepped in early on to review most of my chapters before I posted them. If it weren't for his excellent feedback some stuff just would have never made its way into the story :D Thanks to all of you people who reviewed, favorited, followed, or just read along the way, and I hope that even after this is completed new readers will continue to do so as well (except following it; don't feel obliged to follow a completed story ;).

I think that's it :) Watch out for the sequel sometime in the future!

**EDITED: 4/16/2014**


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